tim hawkins christian cuss words

My wife filmed this while we were on our honeymoon. This was the most fun we have had in a while. Tim Hawkins is awesome!

[@amyholmes4941]

My grandma used to say "my cow." If she was really upset, she would say "My cattle and sheep!"

[@livin4thelamb499]

That is just precious, :D

[@JoshMcSwain]

Son of a motherless goat was my favorite. His delivery is fantastic, he could read the phone book and it would be funny.

[@bubbsmaster1222]

It's from the film 3 amigos

[@simonsmith2779]

I love them all. And you're right. The guy is a fartknockin' genius,

[@pepper341]

+Simon Smith 😂

[@damiensvanderputten5930]

Josh McSwa

[@guitarhero4762]

Josh McSwain Mine was Turd.But I loved shut the front door.And Son of a Motherless goat.THERE ARE SO MANY

[@arkhambricksskylar3808]

Son of a baptist preacher

[@franciegwin]

Oh yes!!! Oh dated one of those once!

[@redbead3448]

"Hey yo mama made crud muffins, come on in! I love mama's crud muffins!"

[@krystalharwood7842]

he literally sounded like larry the cable guy

[@WaltzingAustralia]

Brings to mind two things. My brother, when a teenager, would say to someone who had offended him, "Go grind your teeth on the curb." That usually ended the discussion. My nephew, my brother's son, when he was four years old, would always correct anyone who said "holy cow," saying, "No, just cow. Only God is holy."

[@michaelmeissner7545]

Cows are holy in India. And they can be quite holey. Though the latter is a little gruesome...

[@adammilette3076]

You've ever heard of a curbstomp? I'm sure he has

[@WaltzingAustralia]

No, cows in India are sacred, not holy.

[@michaelmeissner7545]

The two are essentially synonymous. Holy, most literally (as far as original Bible languages goes), means set apart or exalted. Most dictionaries, including Merriam-Webster, list holy and sacred as synonyms. And if you want to get really pedantic, even within Christianity, God is not the only holy entity. He's three of the only holy entities. And He makes us holy, as well.

[@WaltzingAustralia]

Not really the same. One is inherent, the other imputed. God is holy, even if there were no one to worship him. It is his character. With cows, those who worship them attribute sacredness to them.

[@KathrineJKozachok]

i've gotten people at work to start saying "Oh, Pickles!"

[@pepper341]

😂 thats awesome

[@howllabyshadection328]

One of the best comedians of all tie and he's a christian too :) Tim Hawkins never gets old!

[@pretoshohmoofcguy6523]

He forgot Duck Dynasty's "Oh good night".

[@nataliewyatt4258]

I have actually used Son of a Motherless Goat. I got the strangest looks when I yelled it out in class o-o

[@beccadavis2287]

Where's Cottonheaded Ninimuggins??!

[@SizzlingVibe]

OMC YEAH

[@RinJackson]

........wut?

[@josephwhiteside834]

You're not a Cottonheaded Ninimuggins, you're just... special. Love that movie.

[@connordilworth64]

Becca Davis I get it

[@TheSchuchmans]

UGH! WHAT MOVIE??

[@cameronshultz6105]

HAHAHAHA!!!! So funny! My favorite was Saint Jack. Tim hawkins, you were that kept me going when my grandma was in the hospital dying. She passed away May 28 2014, the worst day of my life. But it was you who kept me going. THANK YOU TIM HAWKINS!! KEEP IT UP!!!

[@BreeNix]

“Son of a motherless goat” *everyone dies of laughter, including Tim* “that’s not even possible” XD

[@melissaostrihon1781]

A co-worker once said "Mother-father sister-brother". I laughed for days!!

[@krystalharwood6359]

im a mother father gentleman

[@exarsunrider6468]

Who else started crying in the 'crud muffin' bit?

[@kellyrussell6428]

He reminds me of Robin Williams here.

[@krystalharwood2300]

+kelly russell he reminds me of my pastor too. he's funny as....heck! gotcha!

[@krystalharwood2300]

+kelly russell and peter from everybody loves Raymond. RIP

[@christianbrown5363]

+kelly russell Tottaly

[@menslady125eif2590]

+kelly russell They were both able to make funny fart jokes.

[@menslady125eif2590]

Chazraith Shut up!

[@wigmomm]

FART KNOCKER!!! It's my favorite one

[@stayceachziger4708]

J Wigton its my favourite as well. every time i watch this video i die laughing just because of fartknocker.

[@iwrotesalutaris]

What the House of Representatives sounds like during a debate . . .

[@entjtype1250]

GENIUS

[@fumbledpersonality]

+Gev Sweeney using this.

[@thebeast6634]

im a gringo

[@GalaxyGal-]

I miss the good ol days when the house meetings were basically wwe fights.

[@jeenashirkey1987]

Lol

[@aliciajo4618]

My friend and I use "son of a baptist preacher" and "son of a motherless goat" all the time 😂😂😂

[@kathyrodriguez3554]

fart knocker😂😂

[@somedoomermetalhead7377]

Kathy Rodríguez my moms boyfriend calls me fart knocker all the time

[@dannny_macdee1015]

Beavis called B utthead that all the time lol

[@maxharter5716]

@Reese Ciddio 2:16

[@panheadmaniac2409]

I don't know how many times I've watched this by now, and it's still just as hilarious.

[@santa_claus-north_pole]

Here is a better version: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3mqk36rj9-kaac

[@nicolehale7790]

Son of a two timing rainbow or my personal favorite: Sportacus!

[@jonathanbeasley489]

I have a GREAT ONE for you that my Grandpa used to say "GOT DANDRUFF, SOME OF IT ITCHES!!!"

[@mattjames5694]

I'm going to use this. Thank you!

[@gremcs]

My favorite part was when he started laughing at 3:18 when he said "Shut your pie-hole."

[@krystalharwood2300]

+GremlinboyFH kiss my grits sounded a lot like my pastor

[@scorchflare5765]

At 3:18 he sounded like Venturiantale (Jordan)

[@memerejcc2172]

"son of a motherless goat" is a line from the movie 'the three amigos' with chevy chase, steve martin and martin short. my siblings and i used to say that all the time we thought it was hilarious.

[@4x4dually]

My son asked me the other day what a "fart knocker" was after I called him that. Now I have a better explanation. LOL

[@aceofspades6161]

sad thing is, I've used all of them.

[@aceofspades6161]

Bolshevik my favorite one

[@emeraldayres1546]

+Ace of Spades SAME!!!! :D

[@menslady125eif2590]

That's not sad. It's great!

[@jennakaufman4471]

Ace of Spades good part is u didn’t really swear, u swore in Christian pg

[@orochimaruorochimaru4031]

Space of aids So have i

[@EmergencyDrawings]

Some kids from my Church brought me hear and now I am going to watch more of his videos 😂😂

[@yoshikagekira5667]

Son of a motherless goat XD

[@user-mq5dr1jh5t]

i never got the rosafrosarosafrasa part until i remembered Harry from Home Alone! lol

[@geoffreynesmith4866]

Just seen him Saturday in Woodbridge VA, Oh my goodness he was funny. People were laughing so hard they were crying. I laughed so hard had a headache the next day. It was really nice to see clean humor!

[@rockon54635]

Tim Hawkins is one of the best funny guy ever this made me laugh

[@elissamagnuson4084]

*stubs toe* "PAT SAJAK*

[@malsalada]

This made me laugh so hard! I had a hamster when I was a little girl. My dad became quite attached to the little guy. I don't remember what his real name was, but I do remember that my dad always called him "fart knocker". Thank you for digging that old memory out and brushing the dust off. :)

[@krystalharwood5240]

worse than fleabag!

[@rebekahstrasser3280]

I tried two of the Christian cuss words on my girlfriend and her fiancé. She scared me on accident and I said " Great Caesar"s Ghost Ashley!" She cracked up laughing. Later her fiancé scared me and I said " Son Of A Motherless Goat!" That really startled him and he said " Whoa Whoa!"

[@jay-b1223]

Rebekah Strasser 😆😆

[@Cashdawg]

how do you have a girlfriend who has a fiance

[@rebekahstrasser3280]

They got married in December 2016

[@bethanysmith5856]

part of the fun of this is watching my brother dying each time we watch this

[@Bosco1965]

He missed "God...bless America"

[@pikagelly7465]

When I cuss (usually by accident), I change it up a bit 1. Son of a Biscuit! 2. What the Fudge?! 3. Crap 4. Fudge 5. Freakin' 6. Hades (instead of Hell) 7. Good Lord And so forth... What is sad is that I know more curse words than my younger sisters, yet not once have I used them as casually as they do. 😟I mean I could, but let not foul language come forth from your mouth (sorta like that; from the book of James somewhere)

[@peachesncharlotte]

PikaGelly I've only cursed twice in my lifetime, and I still regret it

[@pikagelly7465]

@Peaches n Charlotte Yeah, if I slip up just one word, I feel the utmost guilt, but then there are those who use it basically as a second language😓 Sad, really😟

[@peachesncharlotte]

it is (i honestly dont understand, cursing makes me feel weird and uncomfortable)

[@tiffanyrider3380]

Peaches n' Charlotte kjuqie we get to p

[@orochimaruorochimaru4031]

Seidian-Belle Causey Do you even english?

[@cindykeith3423]

My son says "cheese n rice" when he's mad instead of "Jesus Christ". 😕

[@maddie4582]

That's cute

[@krystalharwood1807]

how bout the pizza substitution- Cheeses Crust

[@brittanyhagston4765]

Krystal Harwood or Cheese its

[@krystalharwood1807]

@@brittanyhagston4765 that too

[@tanyahaskin6607]

Not a fan...my kids used to say it, too 😕

[@miserymade9891]

my mom says crapolla a lot XD i have heard a few of these and this is so funny.. my favorite is son of a motherless goat

[@iam1remnant]

Christian cuss words. Son of a motherless goat!

[@PharaohFluidity]

Benedict Cumberbatch.

[@thebeast6634]

+KᗩYᒪᒪᗩᗰᗩ TᕼE ᑭᕼᗩᑎGIᖇᒪ (Kaylah) chorizo

[@GuessWhoTheDoctor799]

+scubadrew9292 Lol a friend of mine calls him Bendydick Cumberbatch. Sorry, I just thought I'd share...

[@HiiroRocker101]

+BonziBUDDY Boop-a-doop Shoop-da-woop

[@makennaf3398]

scubadrew9292 his name is a perfect cuss word

[@Nick94956]

Chris Plays Games I think I get that reference haha

[@aimeefunk6576]

I don't understand why people cant just enjoy what he is putting out for the public to ENJOY, if people don't like his videos then you really shouldn't watch them.

[@saracathcart9955]

Here's another few for ya'll, not sure if it was on the list: "poo on a stick" "fart nugget" "river stonker" "shwat" just some I use haha

[@JonesNate]

Rakka frakka tootpallutin... Reminds me of Yosemite Sam. Also, "kaka" is just the "s" word in another language.

[@jaxoncroydon3516]

im christian but i do say cuss words so this is funny to me

[@hannahb8775]

how are you a christian if you cuss?

[@juliadeemer2070]

Hannah B It happens sometimes we slip don't judge

[@user-mq5dr1jh5t]

everyone does. its hooman

[@menslady125eif2590]

My grandfather used to say "Holy hen up a tree!". Here are some others I know. Be sure you get a good breath for the last one: Son of a banshee! Swish and flicker! Dragon bogeys! Unicorn turds! Darby's sock! Voldemort's nipple! Cauldron bum! Leprechaun taint! Jiggery pokery! Craters! Blasters! What in the name of anti-gravity?! What in the galaxy?! Great galaxies! Great guns! Holy pulsars! Holy heat rays of Trixas 5! Holy nova! Sweet mother of Venus! Sweet mother of Mercury! Hot rockets! Great moons of Neptune! Oh, shiitake mushrooms! Frack! Frack you! Frack it! What the frack?! Scrap! Scrud! Slag! Frag! Frag it! Frag you! What the frag?! Glitch! Son of a glitch! Piston breath! Gasket breath! Glitch head! Bull scrap! Bull slag! Horse slag! Ball bearings! Aft! Afthole! Pain in the aft! Pain in the exhaust port! Pain in the rear bumper! Oh, my Primus! Dear mother of Primus! For the love of Primus! For Primus' sake! Good Primus! Primus curse it! By Primus! By the Matrix! By the Pit! What the pits?! Pits! Pits, no! Motherboard fragger! Mother fragger! Up your aft! Up your afterburner! Up your tail pipe! Up your exhaust port! Blow it out your exhaust port! Blow it out your aft! Blow it out your afterburner! Blow it out your tail pipe! Leakin' lubricant! Sweet Solus Prime! What in the name of the Primes?! By the Primes! How in the name of Megatron's pistons?! By the All-Spark! Good fragging Primus! Harri H. Krishna! (or however you spell it.) Jinkies! Zoinks! Whillikers! Gee whizzikers! Wowee-wow-wow! Ru-roh! Ripes! Rikes! Swine puppies! Crud puppies! Fudge puppies! Fudgies! Holy cricket! Bummer! Bummer city drag! Bummer Joe the Third! For crying in a bucket of mud! Holy catfish! Holy shanghai! Gollers! Gollers, Meltman! Rats and snails and puppy dog tails! Un-dirty wording-believable! Mule muffins! Bull muffins! Horse muffins! Meadow muffins! Asciugamani! Questa macchina non funziona bene! Your mother is a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* ing *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* Laura Epson *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* agmintenvenium *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* tragulla *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* hippopotamus *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* Republican *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* and Daniel Radcliffe *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* with a bucket of *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* in a castle far away where no one can hear you *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* soup *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* with a bucket of *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* Mickey Mouse *beep* *beep* *beep* and a stick of dynamite *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* magical *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* ALAKAZAM!

[@GuessWhoTheDoctor799]

+menslady125 AAHHH YEEEESSSSSSS! XD XD Oh those puppet pals... *sigh*

[@Crackmandan]

+menslady125 I personally liked "Voldemort's nipple!" It's the right amount of perv without going overboard.

[@scorchflare5765]

I personally love all the curses related to transformers. (frag, slag, scrap, glitch, etc) Yep. I love being a transfan

[@JonesNate]

lol @ "what in the name of anti-gravity!"

[@revanreborn2548]

you know so many Transformers alternatives how about this one "hexagonal nuts"

[@lunar4815]

I couldn't stop laughing when he said fart knocker! lol

[@mrssiordia06]

That one was mine!!!!!!!

[@niamhhunter5840]

Son of a motherless goat!!!! my fav

[@real_lampcap]

"For Pete's sake." "For the love of Pete" "Jeez Pete." Wait...who's Pete?

[@krystalharwood5240]

peter in the bible

[@MichaelMoore99]

My favorite is one kids at the Christian school I went to came up with: "Cheese and Rice!"

[@maddie4582]

Son of a motherless goat!! Where's your mother? I don't knoowwww! Lol

[@bunchmom]

Tim is alsome

[@katieking2525]

Madison Reams read this as he said it😂😂

[@landof6prices]

Freaky Friday iyjgjgfhjghjgcchjgghhhjjkhjjhj

[@user-pu7vk9bc7k]

okay I have to say, "fart knocker" was my personal favorite!

[@mrssiordia06]

That one was mine!!!!!

[@randomweirdo25]

i thought I was the only one who said son of a biscuit!

[@lexifeldmann5353]

My mom came up with one. Sweet Baby Buddha. At our house its Oh my Buddha. or Good Buddha. I say Oh my Lanta a lot. but Motherless Goat and Fartknocker are becoming popular now.

[@lucasfain4465]

HAHAHAHAHA. I like the CRUD MUFFIN. alsoooo..... WHAT THE JEFF WITH A CRUD MUFFIN

[@larrylentini5688]

HOLY CRUD MUFFIN! I'VE GOT TO MEMORIZE THESE!!!

[@songsalieri]

i just use the name of a local business I kept hearing on radio ads growing up: Fracalossi Chevrolet

[@erinnikoal4611]

JUMPING JUNE BUGS OF GOSH GOLLY

[@ashleydeaton4842]

sugar honey ice tea

[@marksmoot385]

Uep only I use sugar honey Instagram tea

[@chrissyjoy08]

Should have looked before I posted....yes, exactly!! ;)

[@minmin7181]

Isn't that from shreck

[@ashleydeaton4842]

mindie cuozzo Madagascar

[@torqueandturbo8598]

The first letter of each word

[@primadonna3676]

Um, Where is Holy Shiitake Mushrooms?

[@JonesNate]

Spy Kids?

[@BonziBUDDY]

Shit-take

[@shouttothelord77]

I saw both Tim and Bob Smiley last night and they were hilarious! Tim is even funnier in person lol! :-)

[@2sam12_3nathan]

His comedic timing is the best, ❤ 😂😂great voices, love the different accents

[@Anskygodpokemon]

I use "Son of a flying goatfart!"

[@maryannwolowski8496]

I am laughing so hard right now !

[@plasmawolf7960]

Nine years later and I find myself unironically saying SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT.

[@theskundricks9951]

i hope everyelse enjoys son of a motherless goat as much as me

[@czer259]

Son of a motherless goat is from Three Amigos with Steve Martin lol

[@JeffBainMusic]

Tim...this is the FUNNIEST thing I have EVER seen from you!!! I was laughing SO HARD through this whole video!!! God Bless you Tim! (You son of a motherless goat!) HAHAHAHAHA!!!

[@ashtuatara]

Son of a motherless goat!! I can't breathe!!

[@pgoldbranson2480]

Shut The Front Door!!! haha....TUURRD.....love these! so funy and true

[@gloriajones3952]

I love his expressions XD

[@oliviawilliams5138]

son of a motherless goat you are awesome tim hawkins

[@AugustMilli]

Haha! And all these years I thought I was the one that made up "crud muffins" lol

[@kellisearcy7996]

He missed one of my favorites...Wack-Bag!!!! Hahaha had me dying!!! Turd. Hehe 😆😋😏

[@nina1522]

My family and I are big fans of Downton Abbey, so we say, "My Lord and Lady Grantham". If you watch DA, you'll get it.

[@AngelWingsYT]

These are funny ideas ppl had but what really tops it off is HOW he reads it XD It just makes it better

[@melissaostrihon1781]

And laughs himself! LOL

[@ruthgreen8214]

another one is "what the cheesecake?"

[@mistergamerguy]

This is a better version of a video I seen recently. FART KNOCKER!

[@ksd56]

One of my favorites that I learned at my Christian college....PeePee DooDoo Dadburn Butt. Stuck with me still 46 years later!

[@moonlightsweetener4309]

I use crud all the time when I'm upset 😂😂

[@beccaclark938]

What the Bob barker!!!

[@EricLimasTPLEra77]

I made up my own "cuss" word: Son of an A-Rod! LOL!

[@rebeccamasters6987]

Holy canoli, ravioli! Good gravy! Diggiedoggonedang!

[@setfreeson]

I personally use "flyin fiddlers feather" and "well diggidy " kinda helps come back to normal because I always think about what I said and it gives me chuckle.

[@zytigon]

Tim Hawkins does plenty funny lines. Ever wondered what f'ing is short for ? Sometimes fuging? I heard about fuguing on BBC radio 3 today; The fuguing tune (often fuging tune) is a variety of Anglo-American vernacular choral music. It first flourished in the mid-18th century and continues to be composed today. See KZbin video,"How Long, Dear Saviour, O How Long - Early American Fuguing Tune" on TheSacredCollection channel. Fuguing tunes are sacred music, specifically, Protestant hymns. They are written for a four-part chorus singing a cappella. George Pullen Jackson has described the fuguing tune as follows: In the fuging tune all the parts start together and proceed in rhythmic and harmonic unity usually for the space of four measures or one musical sentence. The end of this sentence marks a cessation, a complete melodic close. During the next four measures the four parts set in, one at a time and one measure apart. First the basses take the lead for a phrase a measure long, and as they retire on the second measure to their own proper bass part, the [tenors] take the lead with a sequence that is imitative of, if not identical with, that sung by the basses. The tenors in turn give way to the altos, and they to the trebles, all four parts doing the same passage (though at different pitches) in imitation of the [part in the] preceding measure. ... Following this fuguing passage comes a four-measure phrase, with all the parts rhythmically neck and neck, and this closes the piece; though the last eight measures are often repeated. A well-known fuguing tune that is typical of the form is "Northfield," written in 1800 by Jeremiah Ingalls. The text is by Isaac Watts. So now I'm off to listen to some more fuguing carols. Christmas is the time for fuging so I'm going to ask my wife if she would like to fugue.

[@JohnRobenault]

Every time I watch him, he gets funnnier!

[@amalphia63]

My mom wanted me to get out of the habit of saying “frick” because it was too close to the other cuss word, so I started saying “flip” and she STILL was like “No, it’s too similar to the cuss word” like the flip?

[@wandacollins2364]

Could not stop laughing!!!

[@ashermobley7041]

Fart Knocker, Buckethead, and Crud muffins!

[@DeconvertedMan]

Be a skeptic, then you can say whatever you want. Yay.

[@INtheSPIRIT2012]

three amigos reference for the win

[@katherinehodson419]

son of a motherless goat! I about tell off the treadmill at that one! 😂

[@RyanPeterson23]

The companion to George Carlin's famous routine. ... You know the one I'm talking about.

[@gamergeeknation]

Holy fucking shit.

[@nonnomimi]

Gamer Geek Nation Shut your pie hole, you fart-knocker! ;)

[@nonnomimi]

You son of a motherless goat

[@wheezy_mads]

Shut your face hole you sun of a nutcracker. You are such a crud muffin it's unreal! What the hay is up with this!😄

[@chaynebutler9572]

Maddie Sheets What in the name of Pat Sajak, Drew Carey, and Alex Trebeck is this?! :D

[@lebbo88]

Robo9400 I understood that reference.

[@sagorix3228]

My favorite was “son of a motherless goat!” 😆 I have one! “Son of a biscuit eating bulldog” is one I use ALL THE TIME

[@donovanbarr5134]

Bob Saget is a classic 👌

[@deckardcanine]

I favor "crudbuckets," myself.

[@MeigsmerlinMeigsmerlin]

+Stephen Gilberg or crapbaskets

[@Skittlezmm14]

+Meigsmerlin Meigsmerlin I laughed way too hard XD

[@bobbifields1477]

I know this was 2 years ago but I say that too.

[@maxharter5716]

@@MeigsmerlinMeigsmerlin Oh, you say that too.

[@cozylime_2006]

I like : oh MUSTARD!!!!

[@adelissahunsley]

Mine that I say is oh Mylanta. I think I picked it up as a kid watching full house DJ said that on more than one occasion.

[@TheRealGimmle]

my personal favorite is - Cheese and rise "Son of a motherless goat" is from "The Three Amigos"

[@sheneallread2833]

Son of a biscuit eatin' bulldog is one of my favorites 🤣🤣