Recovery Dangers - Part 9/10 - Victim Mentality

Рет қаралды 19,902

Күн бұрын

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Children of Complex Trauma are victims of neglect, abuse, or abandonment. The problem is that as many reach adulthood, they continue to see themselves as victims. Living with a victim mentality is a very dangerous place for someone in recovery to be. Find out why people slide into a victim mentality, and learn tools to break out of this self-destructive habit.
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Пікірлер: 93

@poisonivy745 4 жыл бұрын

I think 'victim mentality' has a negative connotation and telling someone who has a mental illness that phrase makes it seem like they're to blame for what's happening. I just think the wording should be "stagnant response" or "cyclic response" or something related to learned helplessness. Btw all of your videos have help me tremendously! You put into words what I have experienced but could never explain.

@musicandwellbeing 4 жыл бұрын

I think here Tim is explaining what happens when learnt helplines is taken to the extreme in adulthood

@cerissabrown3487 10 ай бұрын

I agree victim mentality is a harmful label. Cyclic thinking. Stagnant response.

@blankearth5840 7 ай бұрын

Thank you.

@CJSmith-ky5bh 7 ай бұрын

I think, like in all his other presentations, Tim calls it out using real language and what it truly is. I suspect if it’s a triggering term, it’s hitting something that needs to be addressed. 2:12 “A lot of people don’t even see it in themselves”

@jcepri 4 ай бұрын

Think of victim mentality as a common cold and victim complex is a lifelong chronic illness that will get worse unless the person. pursues recovery.

@jerinrinee4731 4 ай бұрын

You are not just speaking to the camera. You are rescuing my life in past 3 months. Ive been watching lots of your videos. Thank you from South India. Its very helpful. And why these series aren't getting million views? I think all should watch this. Not only people have complex trauma. Thanks a lot.

@wolfkai82 4 жыл бұрын

And dude I’m not trying to blame anyone else or not take responsibility but sometimes shit really is not your fucking fault

@hurricaneaquatics 2 ай бұрын

Quite the contrary. Everything is our fault. Outside of a child that cannot change their circumstances. If you're an adult, everything is your fault because we have a choice, a choice to leave, a choice to stay.

@wendydaniel1110 Ай бұрын

S---t happens, that's life. How you deal with it makes the biggest difference. Are you going to use the opportunity to learn and grow or sit there and try and get mileage from others from your situation .

@julievalentine5745 4 жыл бұрын

I can relate to everything Tim says here. I am getting so much self awareness from listening to Tim. He is amazing

@mailill 2 ай бұрын

The worst "victim syndrome" is people who in the past have been victims of abuse, and who now deny that their trauma is not yet healed (sometimes they even deny that there ever _was_ a trauma), and instead of trying to heal start abusing others (subconscious trauma reenactment taking the role as abuser and often also misplaced anger), and then they blame the very people they abuse for "victim mentality". Now, that is a real problem. Acknowledging that one has not yet healed from a trauma, is not in itself "victim mentality" (in the meaning of stagnant response or learned helplessness). It is being honest and brave. Just my ten cents.

@SAMEntalhealth 2 жыл бұрын

This is a very complex subject. I am a victim of the victim mentality due to trauma addiction made it way worse

@aaronmann9442 11 ай бұрын

Lol how can you be a victim of a victim mentality 😂

@mintyichigo5153 4 ай бұрын

@@aaronmann9442 i think they meant they were the echo chamber for someone with victim mentality, at least thats how i understood it, therapist friend but worse 💀

@iw9338 4 жыл бұрын

Watching 3rd time with note book. Great truths, that I can validate the pain & respect myself enough to do something about it. Thanks very much.

@charlene336 4 жыл бұрын

When I'm bombarded with brain dysregulation, and constant triggers... yes I go directly into self-pity. I can take responsibility for my life and still be triggered by everything happening around me. I can stop telling sad stories though and stop trying to get pity from others.

@chilloften 2 жыл бұрын

Sadness is so meaningful to some because it’s mind-blowing to us. Sad songs rule! We got to get rid of it.

@katebueno191 7 ай бұрын

This is for every woman out tgere ever stalked by a man and then called a liar !! Because of the possition they have because of tge job they have !!

@iw9338 4 жыл бұрын

Wow, thanks very much. Got some awareness & tools to grow. Always benefit from your teachings.

@stuartpaul9211 5 ай бұрын

wish I'd have found your channel at the time all this shite was happening.

@wolfkai82 4 жыл бұрын

But we not victimized though? I just want someone I know to get that

@sunnygirl9691 4 жыл бұрын

Yes, you deserve a “witness”. My theory (and maybe others too) on healing is we each need ONE person who loves us to hear us, understand us, and ACHE WITH US for that pain holding our mind hostage. Then I think we can heal.

@teresabatel5051 2 жыл бұрын

Bless you Tim for your teaching. It has helped me tremendously and my daughter is also receiving your teaching! It is giving us hope and tools to overcome!

@janeanneouellette8249 3 жыл бұрын

A woman who is over 60. Has no income of her own - no family to take her in - no bank account - no job - no way to get a job to REALLY support herself (unless she wants to live in the ghetto). Whose narcissistic spouse is committed to make her life a living hell if she leaves - she'll have to fight for every penny - who can't afford a lawyer - whose spouse is verbally/psychologically abusive all the time... he won't go for any counseling. What does she do? I 've spoken with her and if I cud, I'd let her live in our house. How does she have a healthy life?

@cody_go_create 9 ай бұрын

Women’s shelter

@robertafierro5592 6 ай бұрын

@@cody_go_createno no, she probably needs to find a situation like a live in Nanny or something g likev that..you know maybe even a company that does professional.Companionship for elderly clients. There's a big industry in Elder day care..the lady does have options. She can get a job, lots of seniors work!! Really! I see them working the cash register at the Super Market, and CVS!

@robertafierro5592 6 ай бұрын

The Ghetto looks different now

@claireh.7605 5 ай бұрын

She goes on section 8 housing and food stamps

@vitashaw4126 5 ай бұрын

She gets with God!! Pray and let God do what only He can do. He works miracles!

@saycog1084 2 жыл бұрын

That’s my parents’ life story right there. So sad.

@haidyyousif2125 6 ай бұрын

BIG THANK YOU. ❤ Tim LEARN ALOT From YOU🙏

@KJ-pu8dw 2 жыл бұрын

This is describing Vulnerable Narcissists?

@jeremygreene1 3 ай бұрын

I think narcissist may be overused and in a mentally unhealthy situation two people contribute to mental instability may result which looks like narcissist

@arudolphwiseproduction 10 ай бұрын

I'm definitely grateful for all of these series. Thank you. 🙏

@totalhorse6987 2 жыл бұрын

I'm in heal and destroy mode. WorkSafeBC kills. Destroy WorkSafeBC. Heal, learn, destroy. It's important to have goals.

@sarahbyrne8501 2 жыл бұрын

This gives me so much hope. Three years and counting. Xxx thanks Tim. So much work to do…

@cheekychoc5132 10 ай бұрын

This is so real for me right now….incredible

@AlliannaFitness 5 ай бұрын

How many wait on God/ Jesus to come and save them .?

@dlin5068 Ай бұрын

Relying on god is the best thing you can do god created you and would take care of you

@naomigrech1643 2 жыл бұрын

Tim! You are amazing!! So grateful for your videos 😊

@jcepri 4 ай бұрын

This was excellent and so helpful. I just wish there was a portion on how to approach and set boundaries with someone (especially a family member) who has a victim mentality.

@octaviahh8774 2 ай бұрын

A little bit of tough love seems to be the only way that has worked for me so far. In my experience, being nice about maintaining your boundaries so you don't hurt their feelings doesn't work as they seem to think your not serious. Your boundary will hurt them because they're always the victim but it's either your mental health or theirs, the choice is yours.

@DZ-rf9fh 2 ай бұрын

Option - Teri Cole on KZbin author of "The Boundary Boss".

@roxy7255 9 күн бұрын

Wow this video is spot on. I met someone who had victim complex recently, couldn’t see their part in their abusive relationship at all nor were they open to seeing it. Passive aggression popped up again and again. How do you find the patience to work with them?

@Audrey-k2h Ай бұрын

Worse than being stuck. Your life starts imploding. Smh

@rascallyrabbit 17 күн бұрын

we are taught to be victims. it takes courage to stop this behavior. courage was never modeled for us. fight, fight, fight.

@NattyByNature- Ай бұрын

My brother or sister will beat someone up and say they made me do it. Me I live in victim mentality more so self pity but not blaming others. Which I am learning from this video, is the reason why I am self sabotaging. My oldest brother and youngest sister became the narcissist that wants the world to circulate around them.

@NattyByNature- Ай бұрын

@TheBmex 2 ай бұрын

He is talking about me wife that always blamed me 40 years of it. Im 63 male who needs therapy

@alinacobzariu7410 2 жыл бұрын

You're a God send!Thank you!

@jackperry6269 10 ай бұрын

this is all well and good, but does it work? Can one heal?

@Nadiouchkaaa9 2 жыл бұрын

Much gratitude 🙏🏻

@jeremygreene1 3 ай бұрын

@tim How do both people (parents) heal from this cycle ?

@tmosest 3 жыл бұрын

So grateful that you doing the awkward job of talking to a camera and nobody. Transforming my life!

@elbradavid533 7 ай бұрын

Amazing. He's amazing. Thank you Tim

@KourtneyRichardson-s6w 10 күн бұрын

Davis Sandra Martin Barbara Jackson Linda

@jialiu7122 4 жыл бұрын

thank U Tim

@munimuni1385 9 ай бұрын

Great insight! Many thanks.

@Sindhabadforever 5 ай бұрын

thanks sir

@johnkennedy1242 4 жыл бұрын

Perfect video at the perfect time !

@debfugate4517 2 жыл бұрын

Thank You So Much!!!!

@snow4e23 2 ай бұрын

Whoa! My life 😢

@redheadredneckv Жыл бұрын

Thank you

@Blablablamiau 5 ай бұрын

No dear Fletcher not everyone sensetionalise their story !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep that in your F mind. I barely share my story and my story is really sensational without me making it sensational

@Silvertestrun 2 жыл бұрын

@thattracyperson 7 ай бұрын

I wish someone had sent this to me 3yrs ago i/o me finding it on my own, now. Would have saved me quite a bit of heartache.

@marleenstukkien5384 6 ай бұрын

Thanks, I was thinking about sending this to someone I know, but I was hesitant, because it can sound very accusatory and a kick in the nuts while you already feel down, and I don't want to cause that in anyone. Thank you for affirming this message can indeed be welcomed 🙂

@thattracyperson 6 ай бұрын

@marleenstukkien5384 Most people will absolutely be offended being sent this simply because of the title of the video. If they watch it though, and are capable of self reflection, they may not be so offended.