👌More videos can be found on this topic at kzbin.info/aero/PLcB3trehXswgW-61D3FvRNO7nq_AHkxma&si=aMaTR2qO8mQ3p8y5 ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
@LEEeveryday2 жыл бұрын
What has worked best for me when listening without defensiveness is having radical acceptance of myself. High self esteem means you'll have no need to defend yourself from something you already accept about yourself. That acceptance causes any verbal attack to lose it's bite, thus making it easier to ignore.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@Nyc99 Жыл бұрын
I love me, i got rid of chronic pain on my own, now i can help my friends, family, predict stuff too, if some ppl dont like me, they just dont know me
@kassandrav5043 жыл бұрын
This should be a mandatory training when entering a new job or marriage 😁
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
TY :)
@ramludasari51012 жыл бұрын
20415
@ramludasari51012 жыл бұрын
P
@johnanderson50312 жыл бұрын
Damn right
@seanm75392 жыл бұрын
Yes
@echase4162 жыл бұрын
Listening ‘without ego’ or assumptions, and using a good degree of humility, is also super important.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@Franniecds2 жыл бұрын
So true
@deannaguillotte93252 жыл бұрын
Absolutely
@pechoja2 жыл бұрын
E Chase Ego is essential part of ones personality and protective of one's self, care taking of one's welfare. . It is part of one's identity. Are you in the convent? Even nuns have an ego. Suggest you wear something not exposing your generous cleavage. You can be proud but it is very distracting. I am a 79 yo retired registered nurse, and educator. Am not attacking you as I have written this on other sites that seem to have distractions of the message. Being forced to look at your bosoms is distraction of your message. which is of interest and presented on the rest of the screen. Still have my standards from the 60's. Imagine in Catholic HS, we could not wear short sleeves, or a cardigan after first of May in MI.
@christineburton25402 жыл бұрын
Some people with super inflated ego possibly have high narcissistic traits in their personality. In order to live in a more happy healthy and productive world we must show a certain level of humbleness and forget our pride.
@abigailcb6853 жыл бұрын
Top lecture. Imagine if this were made into a 1-day workshop and held at the start of every high school year. Would be a different world!
@TallulahBelle32763 жыл бұрын
Right on Abigail! ✨👍🏼💯 My Sister is a teacher/educator and would be totally on board with your suggestion. She teaches 11th grade History. She absolutely loves her students. She’s been teaching for twenty something years n still has former students keep in touch. So many are doing well but she loves those that aren’t the same. I wish I had had a teacher like her when I was in high school. Her diligence about her job is impeccable. She’s frequently up late n always up early. We’re also the sole caregivers for our Mother with Alzheimer’s. Our Mother lives with her in her own apartment downstairs. I live a block away. We both grew up lacking these important skills in life. I know I’ve gone on but I love your idea of this being taught in school. It’s brilliant! ✨👍🏼💯
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Ty
@adamquinn49413 жыл бұрын
Yeah because all teenagers go to school or attend class or actually listen blah blah lady
@TheOriginalRasheedat3 жыл бұрын
Especially if the teachers have to take it first. Lol
@obatalaosun22223 жыл бұрын
@@adamquinn4941 Some of them will, some of them won't. Kind of like how it is in school already. The ones who listen will change our society drastically, and for the better.
@YaHzDizciple2 жыл бұрын
As a business owner I sometimes get defensive when I receive complaints from customers about a job I've performed for them. I had to realize that when people spend their money with me I have to at least first hear them out, see if their point is valid and rectify the situation. I've also concluded that some customers aren't always realistic in their expectations so I try to appease them as best I can and choose not to do anymore work for them going forward.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Good insight. Thanks for watching.
@susiew.713 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! Honestly. I've been in a lot of unsafe, abusive situations in my life where I constantly had to fight and prove myself. This led to me being defensive all the time. Extremely contra-productive in conversations.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing and watching.
@lesliedegnan3 жыл бұрын
Same here. I get told all then time that I'm being defensive, when I feel like I'm just trying to explain myself.
@publicserviceannouncement47773 жыл бұрын
I can relate. It's hard to know who has your best interest at heart.
@publicserviceannouncement47773 жыл бұрын
When I tell my mom she's being defensive and doesn't have to be, her response always makes me laugh. "I'm NOT being defensive!" which is a statement to defend herself about not being defensive.
@EamonWill3 жыл бұрын
It's good that you recognize it! Keep up the good work!
@kennapinkston61003 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness... before I even reached 4 minutes I had reached a lot of conclusions about how I was raised and why I take criticism to heart. I was never told I made a "bad choice" and that I was a good kid. It was "good" versus "bad" kid in my house. The all or nothing fight or flight response has instilled a very aggressive style of communication. I'm either in falling apart in a puddle of tears or yelling at someone for telling me they didn't like a behavior. Because my "behavior" has never been separated from who I am as a person. Thank you so much for the upload. This is pretty groundbreaking stuff for those whose parents couldn't give them what they didn't have.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@cokefishtail2 жыл бұрын
Yes me also...
@aramotselaw37942 жыл бұрын
Me too…still growing. Here’s to the healing process 💛🥂💛
@Alphacentauri8192 жыл бұрын
Definitely that programming from childhood can leave some deep core wounds in us. Those wounds are triggers and when anyone comes close to it, it can feel like a burning stove or sharp knife. Our reactions can be automatic in self protection. Unfortunately, we can perceive threats where they aren’t, due to the extreme ingrained defensive patterns (and lenses). Often we don’t see our own worth and give too much credit to someone else’s analysis. Even good, constructive feedback can be hard, due to all our negative internal dialogue. We can reprogram that, we can heal, we can be empowered! I wish you healing and peace 💫
@priscillagrrr44052 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@jtcarrey Жыл бұрын
I have been battling this for 40 years, you've literally just made this clear for me, now I can be less defensive and listen more. I am so thankful for you and your video.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I am grateful to be of help. Thank you for watching the video. What have you found most useful from it?
@FaithFashionFinances3 жыл бұрын
It's hard to listen to someone criticize your behaviors 24/7 when that's all you have ever heard most of your life. I have always loved that saying in the 12 step rooms " Take what you like, leave the rest". Sometimes the lesson doesn't apply
@courtneyboudreau42843 жыл бұрын
Right
@LifeofaScorpio923 жыл бұрын
Wys
@wootwootwoot322 жыл бұрын
Then you’re in the wrong relationships of constantly that happens
@Madkre8tor3 жыл бұрын
I've noticed a lot of people use humor as a defense mechanism / coping skill. They brush off emotional issues with a joke, or switch gears to another subject with a joke, or attack you for bringing it up with a joke. Watch out for those Jokers, they don't seem able or willing to handle your reality.
@Alphacentauri8193 жыл бұрын
That’s deflection. There are ways to communicate to bring it back to task. Don’t take their behavior personally. They likely never learned how to deal well with conflict and it might feel unbearable. The joking is often a subconscious strategy. Have compassion and move on.
@lorahaynes31312 жыл бұрын
It helps when you have a partner, and support team, who are mindful of this as well. As a pair or group, to be able to discuss, and plan without the defensiveness is such a beautiful thing. Thank you so much for sharing these presentations.
@maurinedknyantika22893 жыл бұрын
Thank you for a very therapeutic video that spoke to lots of personal internal struggles
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome! Thanks for commenting and watching!
@PuginaConverseShoe3 жыл бұрын
This is another great video. I'm so grateful for your channel and the work you do. The community appreciates you!
@PacificPier3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the wonderful insights. Really happy to see you survived the mountain lion attack - glowing & more beautiful than ever. Be well & many thanks ☀️
@LL-cc1km2 жыл бұрын
This Therapist is SO GOOD! I've had a lot of therapy in my life, before internet access. I'm so appreciative of people offering their help and knowledge! This is such a good way to reach a lot of people who otherwise would not hear it. There's such a lack of privacy IMO these days, I won't visit a Therapist in person any longer.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. I am glad my videos are helpful to you.
@jenneen66422 жыл бұрын
I truly want to change being so defensive especially in the workplace. Great tools to get me started in this video!!!👏🏽👏🏽
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching.
@MS-ns4ki7 ай бұрын
I feel at this point in my life it’s impossible to not get defensive
@indymg44563 жыл бұрын
Here’s my thing I have Empathic abilities and usually I can tell when someone is being concerned Or authentic and coming from a good place or is it someone just completely insensitive of my feelings and is trying to insult me,,
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for commenting and watching.
@keziahmwangi99203 жыл бұрын
Me too. I think this is the most important factor.
@niffellbique37442 жыл бұрын
Yup same here 😔
@roegincordovi81723 жыл бұрын
3 minutes in and I already know this video is definitely for me. Thank you Lord for putting this in my path.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Wonderful!
@ann-sylvianalule3052 жыл бұрын
... amen 🙏
@samantharodriguez59992 жыл бұрын
Amen!
@fernbailey60992 жыл бұрын
Jesus led me to this too…incredibly helpful. Thank you
@maxwellali-kinney58562 жыл бұрын
Right same!
@cathleenkealey74512 жыл бұрын
Excellent lesson and I value your self disclosure of your experience with your analytical son. A skill to learn, relearn, rehearse and use.
@drewg30873 жыл бұрын
Another great video, some won’t get it because of their own ego but it takes two in a relationship and after a hard time both parties have to forgive each other, learn new healthy behaviors, and move on to build a new better relationship. Living in defensiveness of old behaviors while acting or responding in new behaviors is detrimental to the new built relationship.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for commenting and watching.
@moorliving2703 Жыл бұрын
This comment made me cry
@Kuragdar2 жыл бұрын
Yours are some of my favorite self help videos. Thank you for all your hard work. You are making a difference!
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much
@carlalampkincrawford29242 жыл бұрын
Maturity has a lot to do with it too. This is very good information 🙏🏾
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@sholandosmiguelito65083 жыл бұрын
I need this, sometimes i just cant help myself.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
:) Thanks for watching.
@briancurry20203 жыл бұрын
same I really like listening to all of her videos
@courtneyboudreau42843 жыл бұрын
I feel this happens often, sometimes the way the message often delivered . I feel this is. Me,😳😳😤😱,. But sometimes it happens too Me there offended alot by my presence LoL
@heatherlangley19903 жыл бұрын
I know just how you feel
@babycakes8434 Жыл бұрын
So much great info. I didn't know that this is natural for introvert to process the info later to be able to talk about it. I thought that I am not smart enough and not eloquent enough to do it right away in the moment. Thank you!
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
So welcome. I appreciate you watching
@pauladuncanadams17503 жыл бұрын
I live with a teenager too...he's sixty-six.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
:) Thanks for watching.
@BethyKable3 жыл бұрын
You too, huh?
@aramotselaw37943 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@sophansen5793 жыл бұрын
😂🤣🤣
@lindatohara64383 жыл бұрын
Mine is 67 😂
@butterflyh.marinez17853 жыл бұрын
Wow I first time here no idea how I end here but I'm glad I did cause just by listening to you I actually felt really good cause you explanations are exactly what I want to hear . I honestly say thank you . I'm 53 yrs that I been through a lot triggers that push me to the point to be defensive with family friends even strangers cause for reason I was target for everyone but now that older I don't let nobody cross the line . I agree 💯 with everything you said . I try to take notes but I can't see to well .
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for commenting and watching.
@mikejarrells4312 жыл бұрын
Thanks & good job. My parents didn't model healthy relationships. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@crestonhardcastle76313 жыл бұрын
As crestons wife it's best to get away from people who are not good for us who don't have boundaries or dysfunctional even our own families who don't want to change and even if they are negative or controlling even with their words or critical people it's best to be around positive people and I've noticed when I do I don't usually have that it's usually limited not usual behavior I only choose people who are positive and that makes a huge difference in my life
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching
@AlleyCat-12 жыл бұрын
My husband is like this ... always defensive about every topic, except to some degree if it's abt our kid's, he's like this at work too. It's always a "your picking on me" (type behavior), or your not being supportive. Never have been" I spent little time talking to him abt anything, we had to live like we have to walk on egg shell's all the time for yrs. It took abt 5 yrs for me to grow a backbone & stand up for myself but not jumping into the argument arena with him.
@charitihope2 жыл бұрын
The Holy Spirit led me here and I'm very thankful for your ministry and knowledge.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Bless you. Please check out my Bible channel, and consider subscribing. kzbin.info/door/YYJCD94NU3_qdbkSEyHLrg
@godlywisdomministries58152 жыл бұрын
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind..meditate on God's word and let his words dwell in you richly and the more you meditate on his word and speak his word the more you will hear his words.Renew your mind by God's words .Man shall not live by bread alone but by everyword that proceeds out of the mouth of God .I promise you all creation is speaking his words whether they know it or not...let him who hath an ear let him hear what the spirit is saying to the churches ..Pray God gives you a good conscious and that your heart doesn't condemn you and most of all pray we will be worthy to stand before him .
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Bless you. I also have another KZbin Channel, I just started: Good Orderly Direction | Practical Bible Study kzbin.info/door/YYJCD94NU3_qdbkSEyHLrg Please consider liking and subscribing.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com. Based on this channel's videos and the proceeds support our continued mission to make these resources available.
@ebonydickerson3792 жыл бұрын
Just a minute into the video and know for a fact the universe sent me to watch this! Oh my goodness, I needed to hear all of this 🥰
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for being here. Please share. :)
@Trw-ke5oo3 жыл бұрын
This video popped up, so grateful! Made so much sense! It helped me to get clarity in how I have been feeling. It helps me to compartment things in my mind so I can start working at having a healthier relationship with myself and others. I grew up in a home of dis function. Feel a “disease” for life. You spoke of 12 step work, you speak of the tools given, I have known about them. And I went to meetings for 7 years, just I struggled to agree always see or agree with others opinions, which they are. Was told take what you want, leave the rest behind. I do feel a better sense of relationship to the Al anon program then AA. Not that I have not abused alcohol ever, just I do not feel I relate who heartedly to the individuals in those meetings as I do when I listen to Al anon individuals. I guess it is the adult child and codependent issues that I need work on. Just, was having a hard time separating what is mine, as to what is theirs. Do you have any suggestions for a book, or work book? I have thought about going to a councilor and have tried making appointments, just it’s 3-4 months waiting just to get appointments. Thanks
@---nj7hl3 жыл бұрын
Get a different counselor. A lot of them are doing online.
@luckymeyer10142 жыл бұрын
Start writing in a journal about your journey a little at a time in the mornings a little at noon a little about bedtime.
@heatherlangley19903 жыл бұрын
Wow I really like how you explain things in such a respectfully manner. I really need this learning in my life. It's a lot of what is going on. Communication problems. Ty
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Ty
@WM37980 Жыл бұрын
I also have a very logical son (an engineer) who likes to 'debate' and be the devil's advocate. I love him very much but unfortunately I find it exhausting (anyone would), it has the effect of constantly invalidating my point of view, it s a sort of passive aggression. I just let it drift over me (no point in taking it personally) but it diminishes the richness of our relationship. The wonderful thing is that I feel so grounded in myself (in part thanks to Donnelly) I am able to let it go. I just tell myself with a smile: "Life will teach him..!"
@powerofknowledge7771 Жыл бұрын
Yep, I go through the same exact thing with my mom. If I point out something that's bothering me even if I do it in a loving constructive way, she jumps on defense and then starts jumping down my throat and attacking me over things that aren't even relevant. She'll accuse me of doing what she does and it's very obviously not the case. At that point, how do you even have a healthy conversation with a person like that? Both parties have to be willing. I will say that she's willing to jump on anybody else's shit that messes with me. But if it's her messing with me then she is completely closed off to the concept of it.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I appreciate you watching.
@whitewings2363 Жыл бұрын
Wow. I wish you were my mom growing up. You're kids should really appreciate the wealth of wholeness they have in their parent. How much different would things have been had I gotten this stuff as a boy? Wow
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching the video and thank you for your kind words. What tips would you use first to listen without defensiveness? If you’re interested in videos on assertiveness, you can find them at: kzbin.infosearch?query=assertiveness
@caseteamcouture86333 жыл бұрын
I’m just here to improve my life
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@mapleleaf9022 жыл бұрын
Thank you for to this post and I will adjust my speech to express myself and protect myself when dealing with a narcissistic person. This helps me see why I react the way I do. Good directional guidance for me. Thank you again.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@janeherring54023 жыл бұрын
This ha really helped with the views on government/COVID differences. As a RN I have had to truly work o the compassion factor and let go. Thank you
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Interesting point. Thanks for sharing.
@tatungt.8590 Жыл бұрын
I feel so grateful to be learning from miss snipes, listening to her helps me access my executive wise mind and I know that this is so much important for my healing period ryt now. Thank you so much doc for making such valuables contents accessible. Will forever be grateful ❤.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@thetruthwillsetyoufree47473 жыл бұрын
I’d rather be told I’m wrong dentist for somebody to talk behind my back or make fun of rather than constructively criticize what I do and explain what upsets them forward with the truth regardless if I like it or not I’m sure there’s something there that I can learn from I don’t mind what hurts if someone doesn’t take the time to even acknowledgePerhaps the other person doesn’t know if I’d rather help somebody that’s all thank you excellent video
@MataH13 жыл бұрын
Always so interesting, food for thought without judgement. Thank you!
@kapilafavorites3 жыл бұрын
This is very useful therapy educational free session. I just enjoyed listening the whole video. Heartfelt thanks!
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching and commenting.
@coppersense9993 жыл бұрын
Surprised to see this was published a week ago. My first thought was this is an older video. The content is valuable.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Ty
@glee_again25942 жыл бұрын
The extrovert/introvert point in discussing is spot on for my husband and I. It’s hard when we are pressed for time I know in my “talk it out way” we have to have this important conversation now. I guess his introverted processing becomes stunned. He becomes silent & I give up and feel abandoned. Normally I give time and space to think first, but there are things that can’t wait… Hard, but worth realizing even if it stinks
@AGirlCalledJim Жыл бұрын
It's the opposite for me and my person. I'm the introvert who wants to talk things out, and he's the avoidant extravert.
@gladyssanabria97012 жыл бұрын
This is WONDERFUL! My son and I are healing from his father/ step mother wrongfully taking him from my custody and now that's my son is back. Over the last 2 1/2 years. We both have been triggered by many things. Something as easy as wash the dishes. Was so hard to understand until he told me why. It broke my heart. This video is absolutely perfect and needed for all humans. We as a whole have to face on the matters that are spoken of. Thank you tremendously
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Best wishes to you both. Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@boostmobile92492 жыл бұрын
Self-Regard, self - Respect one's own physical being. Important. Very important person..
@musicanovas62 жыл бұрын
"Right now, there are people all over the world who are just like you. They're either lonely, they're missing somebody, they're depressed, they're hurt, they're scarred from the past, they're having personal issues no one knows about, they have secrets you wouldn't believe. They wish, they dream and they hope. And right now, they are sitting here reading these words, and I'm writing this for you so you don't feel alone anymore. Always remember, don't be depressed about the past, don't worry about the future, and just focus on today. If today's not so great don't worry! Tomorrow's a new chance. If you are reading this, be sure to share this around to make others feel better. God bless you and your family wish you a new day full of blessings, health and happiness 🙏🏻💋Have a nice day!"
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching and commenting.
@musicanovas62 жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes Thank you very much . God bless you and your family wish you a new day full of blessings, health and happiness 🙏🏻💋
@jewelsfromcoal3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this. This validated what I’ve been through, where I am and where I am headed.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome
@MissTree223 жыл бұрын
Wow! Thank you 🙏. I took notes and sent it to my sister to heal our relationship.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Wonderful! Thanks for watching and sharing.
@gailc.501 Жыл бұрын
This was helpful, I'm an introvert and my husband is an extrovert. I think setting ground rules is a good idea, as I find myself getting frustrated when he excessively talks and I definitely need time to process what he's saying. Thank you!
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching and for sharing. Here are the videos on temperament: kzbin.infosearch?query=temperament And the videos on relationships: kzbin.infosearch?query=relationships
@Zelicious112 жыл бұрын
Persons really should be receptive to this! Some one said “whatever” to me after speaking however they couldn’t understand how rude that was. The convo didn’t go how I intended to.
@kemeyartusniki8423 жыл бұрын
This has helped me tremendously. I am so grateful that I came across this video. Everything happens for a reason . Hallelujah and glory to God.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Ty. Best wishes to you.
@Sunny256112 жыл бұрын
Short answer: Defensiveness is caused by insecurity. Stay out of politically charged chat rooms and you won’t get triggered. Excellent informative video! Thank you.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching and commenting.
@Nekole13 жыл бұрын
This was very helpful, Thank you for this video. I love how you put up the slides for the viewers to read along.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for commenting and watching. I get requests for me full screen too...it is a balancing act. :) We may me full screen with lower third graphics soon.
@margaretwinson4023 жыл бұрын
I find the slides really distracting.
@WhiteBirdMustFly12 жыл бұрын
Very good, and true. Some people judge others versus discernment, and that can trigger the defense system. Example: A woman who openly rescues dogs, has 3 and walks by while stating that My Dog, is overweight... Assertively, I stated that he had just been to a Veterinarian, who praised his health and weight. I described her short haired dogs as easy to see their weight. Reached down to my dog with hair and fur, and smoothed it down, where she could see that his size was larger due to his fur and hair. Told her that when his fur and hair is washed, he looks much smaller, then I walked away.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@barbaramorton72302 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this. As I grow into new leadership roles, relationships and journeys, this is much needed. Well organized and said!
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@batraworldwide7203 жыл бұрын
Fantastic fantastic talk. Great pointers, great presenting style thank you for putting this out!
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching and commenting.
@publicserviceannouncement47773 жыл бұрын
Environmental boundary "this is my apartment. I deserve to breathe. My neighbors chainsmoking inside their apartment 24/7 makes me feel disrespected and unsafe."
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for commenting and watching.
@breathinggreen27902 жыл бұрын
Are they the kind of people you could approach about it? Sometimes people have no idea how their actions are effecting others. Or they could just be selfish assholes and that would really annoy me too. I hope things have gotten better at your place. 🙂🌱
@chileigh9412 Жыл бұрын
I don't know why but this video made me cry a lot. You really hit the nail on the head. I have some soul searching to do.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I am sorry the video made you cry. What tips will you use to improve your assertiveness skills?
@jadek58222 жыл бұрын
All the psychology in the world & I still go back to acceptance because 85% of us have trauma & most are unaware that it’s even trauma. We’re all in survival mode & just coping. I can’t do anything about your trauma, only my own. You can’t hurt me, only I have the power to do that.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching and commenting.
@valenciawalker64982 жыл бұрын
This is so very helpful. some people don't respect boundaries. It's definitely, their projection. Yes, I've been using the I statement more. I do feel like my boundaries and personal space are being violated and peace at times. I'm not very talkative. Yes, anxiety does it triggered. this is all very important. Thank you, for the strategies. I've learned with certain personalities keep it light and small talk. however, when I feel it's safe. I can engage in in-depth intellectual conversations if I prefer.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Ty so much. Glad it was helpful.
@ambersadae81592 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate your message throughout your content. Your videos are very helpful to me. Thank you for sharing!
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@david75502 жыл бұрын
Thanks for putting the talking points in the notes section. It makes it easier to make my own notes :)
@abigailhazle25392 жыл бұрын
Excellent presentation! It was very relatable and insightful. Thank you for the tips. Now comes the hard part to remember and apply, but I will....I will, with God as my help! 💪🏾
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful! Bless you. I also have another KZbin Channel, I just started: Good Orderly Direction | Practical Bible Study kzbin.info/door/YYJCD94NU3_qdbkSEyHLrg Please consider liking and subscribing.
@avicohen30352 жыл бұрын
Enjoy listening. Educational experience. I better myself. I gladly adopt the American way. It makes me understand where the quality of the American women emanates from. I am grateful to you, Dr snipes. I am grateful for the English language, it has changed me. I owe a debt of gratitude to all the American woman I listened to.when You listen to quality, you gain quality.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much! Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@reconnectwithyou2 жыл бұрын
This is the most helpful lecture/presentation yet on this topic. Thank you so much Dr. Snipes! I’m gonna save this to my favorites 💜
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Awesome! Thanks for watching.
@loveme24now Жыл бұрын
For the example of "the sky is blue", but another person sees the sky as "teal". It becomes a problem or conflict with someone creates a label of character personality to define a disagreement. When in fact both individuals are correct. There are many shades of colors that could be. We have primary colors that are added with other colors to create a lighter, darker, or different color entirely. If those two people were to take a moment together and examine the sky together and point out the space or area of color their sight see.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching the video! What tips would you use first to listen without defensiveness?
@Buster-im5so Жыл бұрын
Real gut laughing. 24:30. As well, (Unrelated) Don't tell the narcissist what you're feeling. They'll use it as a weapon. Copy/Paste it in your mind. Doc Snipes seems to enlighten me with new knowledge to the point that I'm memorizing key positions and terms as she speaks. Increasing the playback speed helps me because she know where she's going and she share tons of pertinent information. Thanks Doc. Thanks Crew. Thanks Husband. Thanks Family and Subscribers. Thumbs Up.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thanks SO MUCH for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@stanleyyelnats13132 жыл бұрын
Like all others... 3 min in and the bell sounded! Ive already heard a bridge, I've needed for a while, to help with issues in a very special and fragile relationship. Thanks Doc! Peace and Love family
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Very Welcome! Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@powerofknowledge7771 Жыл бұрын
I know exactly what you're saying because I heard some bridges in there as well! I started taking notes. Lol
@queenvv62442 жыл бұрын
Thank you Doc Snipes for all of your videos, I especially learned a lot from this one. I’m always being told that I’m defensive and combative all the time. Very insightful
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching
@LL-cc1km2 жыл бұрын
This is so me! In my past I suffered much domestic violence. I believe I allowed it because of being so invalidated in childhood. This makes a lot of sense!
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@rvoic Жыл бұрын
You're such a great teacher. I literally found this video right after a situation of defensiveness!
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thank you for your kind words and thank you for watching. How are you planning to improve your assertiveness skills?
@jessicac3912 жыл бұрын
Omg it really help me understand people & myself more . People at Work triggers me all times lol🙄
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@krisscanlon4051 Жыл бұрын
This has always been a tough one for me...feeling like I'm defending myself...this was a childhood issue...my paternal history was of an offensive authoritative nature
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What tips will you use to improve communication?
@nonny54892 жыл бұрын
I just realized that I get defensive because of the fear of rejection. Growing up my care giver would punish me by making me feel emotionally abandoned and rejected.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@spiritualservicesgodbless76413 жыл бұрын
27:00 Each person has their own way of picking up information
@shirleyaguilar39793 жыл бұрын
Wow, I'm very grateful to watch this channel for free, worth learning. .
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Ty for taking the time to watch. Please share the videos you find helpful.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Ty
@durelrich92183 жыл бұрын
I watch your classes and and I learn alot. A lot is just common sense and if your a empathetic person. Being genuine is a must for me. Life is to short to be ugly and disingenuous. Love each one another truly.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@durelrich92182 жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes Your very welcome💪🏾
@jolly77282 жыл бұрын
Boundaries are like a two-edged sword. They communicate to others what you will and will not tolerate, but they also identify which buttons to push to elicit a response from you. So, boundaries can defend you and enable people to hit you where it hurts. It's better to take every possible step to avoid people who make you feel uneasy or irritate you. That is, in fact, the only way. Discussing/arguing, or whatever you want to call it, is at best a temporary solution because 99 percent of the time, individuals can't/don't change.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@rickeyalyles91692 жыл бұрын
Wow.Thanks lady my 12 year old son said why i seem so angry brung me to this video thanks . We should put this on the news. Do you know how many people could of been saved from prision if they would od herd your message
@rhobounce2 жыл бұрын
This is a really good lecture! I’m an introvert and my husband is an extrovert…. I’m taking it all in!
@Alphacentauri8192 жыл бұрын
Have you looked into attachment theory? Often introverts or extroverts have opposite attachment styles (and sometimes triggering to each other). Different needs and boundaries, different core wounds, different fears and need for self protection and connection. Almost all our self protective behaviors inhibit connection unfortunately. So healing the programming, conditioning, core wounds associated, can provide such empowerment and greater connection (to self and others). I’ve walked much of this road & am still healing…but am so much more hopeful, now that I understand the “why” behind much of my behavior, and behind my exes too. I wish you peach and happiness in the new year 💫
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and, happiness.
@dromus53922 жыл бұрын
I had a disagreement with my mother a while back. I wish I had this then because when trying to process her words in the aftermath I assumed what she was saying was something I fear and started developing self-doubt and painful emotions so loud and insistent that I wasn't sure if it was my fear or intuition telling me to surrender to them. This will be a useful tool in the future.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@wouldntyouliketoknow53422 жыл бұрын
What a nice way of putting it he’s brainstorming other potential explanations lol I’ll have to remember that one with my husband! He loves to brainstorm other potential explanations every day ha ha
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching and commenting.
@rhondabaroli26832 жыл бұрын
I listen to self help info on tube a lot. Thanks fir the help it always a good boost and reminder. I appreciated the real life examples and could relate. All I know is everyone struggles wth defensive behavior and communication breakdowns At work. In relationship s. Wth people we love wth loved ones. It happens. The good news is. We can solve it it jus takes time patience honesty self reflection energy and I don’t know lol I jus an empath spiritual human that never gives up but often get frustrated. Well thanks fir the opportunity to vent. Express my inner thoughts it what pushes us forward and ruts are what happens when we keep on the same path day after day we gotta grow and heal and most of all turn off the news and live and interact wth people in life It gos by fast. Now to those scrolling. Namaste love and light and jus fir today enjoy life ! Get busy.
@luckymeyer10142 жыл бұрын
🙂
@endigosun3 жыл бұрын
They used to teach all of this during childhood… It was called “respect and honesty”
@iMageMotif3 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately not all of us are taught that.
@ghostadventureasmr61073 жыл бұрын
Ha ha loser
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for commenting and watching.
@MikuHatsune123 жыл бұрын
Whose they
@MikuHatsune123 жыл бұрын
@@ghostadventureasmr6107 you clearly have some personal demons to work through :)
@relationshipskills68553 жыл бұрын
This is helpful. Is it possible you could record some dialogues with someone as a training tool? Somehow I think I would learn better if at the end there are some recorded examples of conflict resolution, perhaps others as well. 😊
@Alphacentauri8192 жыл бұрын
The Personal Development School has communication scripts for addressing conflict & helped my ex and I with our coparenting. While it’s definitely not perfect, it’s better. When we learn to zoom out, pause, ask for what we need (rather than complain about what we aren’t getting or the other is doing wrong), it leads to more possibilities of good outcomes. It take practice, vulnerability, dropping a need to be “right” and so on. My ex has dismissive avoidant attachment style (as well as Aspergers) and I have fearful avoidant attachment style. It made the “relating” contentious and very difficult. We were both reacting out of our core wounds, our subconscious programming/conditioning, and often created more disconnection rather than connection. The whole point is to operate together, not seeing each other as enemies. However, when you have 2 insecure attachment styles, operating out of fears and self protection, the ability to see clearly and hear is very diminished. Anyways, the above helped me so much. Life changing really, learning how to express needs and boundaries in a way that was never encouraged in childhood (or many other relationships). A paradigm shifter!
@powerofknowledge7771 Жыл бұрын
@@Alphacentauri819 just this comment alone was very helpful!
@YourHungTrainer7 ай бұрын
Well after watching this video, I could listen to you all day.
@DocSnipes7 ай бұрын
Thank you. I am grateful to be of service
@hradmin5040 Жыл бұрын
What many don't recognize is that "the box" we've been taught to live in includes a model for the denial of responsibility and accountability for our actions. Most models of religious belief defer to extrinsic control of events, rather than intrinsic responsibility and the acknowledgement that personal choices have personal consequences. The common belief in "God's will" (insert your favorite deity *here*) and "fate" defer and deflect responsibility which becomes life long behavioral dysfunction.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I appreciate you watching. What tip from the video are you planning to use first to increase assertiveness skills?
@hradmin5040 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes I have no problem with assertiveness. Dialing my assertiveness back would be my opportunity. ;)
@ithacacomments48113 жыл бұрын
Like trying to discuss your point of view with your best friend. She always has the right point of view!
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@peggyoneill52882 жыл бұрын
Amen I know my worth ! My past is my past !! God bless you
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Welcome
@monicaestrada97283 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this information. I needed it very much.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome.
@worksofhands2 жыл бұрын
This presentation is 20 years late in my life. But better late than never. Thank you
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@bert.hbuysse55692 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this course. Really taught me a lot. Being defensive is one of my biggest flaws.
@DocSnipes2 жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching.
@judithwallace20913 жыл бұрын
Okay, this is just what I needed to hear. Your videos are so good.
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Wow, thank you!
@agiejones76512 жыл бұрын
Amazing lecture! Thank you kindly 🙏🙏🙏🌟🤩
@prismintuitionllc10353 жыл бұрын
Amazing presentation. Thank you for sharing!
@DocSnipes3 жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@FRANN_GRANDlife Жыл бұрын
Wow this is a mouthful & taught me a lot about why I’m always become defensive when I feel triggered& how I can work on that from watching this video it’s seems like its gonna be alot of work to reprogramm myself but I’m willing to try wish me luck
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.