Abandonment Anxiety-- Video corrupted See

Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com Abandonment Anxiety-- Video corrupted See • Healing Insecure Attac...
📢SUBSCRIBE and click the BELL to get notified when new videos are uploaded.
💲 AllCEUs.com Unlimited continuing education CEUs $59
💻 Online course based on this video can be found at allceus.com/Abandonment-CEU
⭐ Specialty Certificate Programs for Case Management and Counselor Certification beginning at $89 AllCEUs.com/certificate-tracks
Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes addresses how fears of abandonment impact relationships, the origin of fear of abandonment, how it impacts mental health and mental illness and strategies to address fear of love.
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @docsnipes
NOTE: ALL VIDEOS are for educational purposes only and are NOT a replacement for medical advice or counseling from a licensed professional.
Video by Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes on integrative behavioral health approaches including counseling techniques and skills for improving mental health and reducing mental illness.
AllCEUs.com provides multimedia counselor education and CEUs for LPCs, LMHCs, LMFTs and LCSWs as well as addiction counselor precertification training and continuing education on many of the videos on this channel. Unlike other providers like CE4Less, AllCEUs includes a weekly LIVE Stream Webinar with your unlimited continuing education and professional development membership.
Abandonment Anxiety: Overcoming Fear of Love Based in part on the book Love Me Don't Leave Me
#abandonment #insecure #attachmenttrauma
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Introduction

[@DocSnipes]

👌More videos can be found on this topic at: kzbin.info/aero/PLcB3trehXswh9zC9xVkAJekUGA1DwXyC9&si=lH_VvbHGc2T8C6WN ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

[@SkyePhoenix]

In the end, it doesn't matter to me "why" I felt emotionally abandoned by my mother. I know she had issues and she didn't do it intentionally. The bottom line is this deep childhood wound has affected me for my entire life. I want to know how to heal from it, so that I can move on and learn how to have a healthy relationship.

[@dominiquetrueman9363]

Reprogram the subconscious mind. Check out Live the Life You Love - she’s changed my life.

[@jdm_pilot0630]

God and Jesus are the only way. They will never leave you. Self love can’t do anything. God can and will show you love if you go to Him.

[@maristahuddleston6213]

Hi Jennifer I recently did some research on healing my inner child. I hope this help it’s amazing when you tap into your inner child and begin to parent her. Just loving on her unconditionally.

[@maristahuddleston6213]

@@bogdanlazar3278 Yes very much so. When you start the inner child journey a lot of people gone want to know about it. I have a saying I put in my book if we had a choose in choosing our Parents we all be Healed. Everyone has been through something or dealing with issues they don’t want to discuss, the narrative is changing. People are loving inner transformation and sharing. How one overcame such obstacles face before them? I hope was able to answer your question Bogdan.

[@jahkayatp6560]

Fax

[@katharina1439]

This video makes me cry everytime I watch it. My parents should not have had a child😔 They did everything wrong! My mother gets angry when I try to bring up my childhood. She wants me to focus on my future and finally marry and make her a grandmother. 🙄 "We can't change the past; the more you look into things the more flaws you find, so stop looking" She doesn't get that these traumas keep me from a healthy relationship

[@saidasavage]

you are strong to even recognise your trauma. a lot of people cant. you are here, you are unlearning and learning. youre on the right path. keep going.

[@AN-gq8zr]

I relate on 1000... I've started podcasting .. telling my story in bits, talking helps so much. It was difficult getting over the fear of judgement, and accepting was was done to me, not by me. honey! the struggle with shame you DID NOT create ... everyday lol

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

Yeah they do. I adored a girl that grew up like you. She self sabotaged the whole thing then left after years and years. I haven’t been the same since.

[@XanderShiller]

@@AN-gq8zr THAT'S great! I'm very interested in starting a podcast but I don't know where to start (esp in the context of technology and apps) I can't find anyone willing to help produce. Any details you can share?

[@eileensianez6766]

Narcissism is a scary thing.

[@belindaoleary4000]

Parents are human .People sadly pass on their trauma to their children ..Its a generational curse but it can be broken ..Forgiveness and self love which is self discipline is the way out..Have to go from victim to survivor to thriver..

[@wowso4]

I agree with you, I hate blaming my parents for my short comings, i’m a adult now so it's time for me to take on my problems instead of running away from them thinking it will magically fix itself, I feel our parents did the best they could do with what they were taught as children. I hope I can heal myself, so that I can be a healthy parent for my future children one day.

[@aahmonddelite690]

@@Solmaz_S I brought one and I apologized to him. I still think whose ever responsible for EXISTENCE must be a sadist!

[@nikitaw1982]

@@Solmaz_S not sure thats the way. good luck on ur journey

[@KurosakiLuvar01]

Then they need to close their damn legs and get some damn help before abusing their child.

[@hisnewlife3543]

Yes, but how?

[@lwontherez7927]

At around 9 minutes in, you said that people with fear of abandonment react in one of two ways: either “I’ll comply; I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t leaven me.” Or, “Whatever. I don’t care.” Disengagement. And I believe the disengagement and the aloof response serves the purpose of, “If I don’t care about you, then you can’t hurt me (if/“when” you abandon me.)

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching and commenting!

[@fleurboisvert8816]

How about one then the other I don't understand what you expect of me and I can't keep you calm. So now I will disengagement.

[@marliesyanke4580]

LW Yes, same here, over eager to please.

[@jawanauselton9197]

Absolutely. It's a survival tactic. I'm tired of hurting and worrying that you'll leave so I just stop caring. If you want to go, just go

[@cierrasimpson632]

Yessss

[@MsGechi77]

I never cried when I was left somewhere new. It was always going to be happier than the place I was coming from. At home, my emotions were ignored but I was treated as their stress reliever. Their anger was always focused on me. Feeling invisible everyday made any new place an opportunity to be seen & heard.

[@kiriume]

:) i totally get you, that's why I always like to sign up to new activities, to meet new people

[@boydstunna]

This blew my mind. I still feel this way as a 27 year old man. The only time I feel relief is getting away,

[@melaniepaul8150]

Wow this was all me growing 😢😭😪 up .

[@tonyakarp]

this is exactly why i loved school. teachers were nice to me.

[@vixenvalenzuela]

Same here

[@veronicahaney3145]

When there's a wound that needs healing, then we attract people that will re-injure those wounds, so it actually can be guaranteed that the people we initially meet as we are "healing" will leave us.

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@SkyePhoenix]

Everything is temporary. Love always ends in sadness. That is a fact.

[@seramarie76]

Agreed.

[@jessicalr8654]

Agreed.

[@jdm_pilot0630]

@@SkyePhoenix God and Jesus love never ends and it is infinite God can and will show you love if you go to Him. He loves you so much He really does.

[@joaquinrojas9380]

I’m a 17 year old male. I remember growing up in believably traumatized from my mom. I remember it was so scary I felt a crippling amount of stress in my chest at home when everything was silent. You feel like everyone hates you and you can’t form an emotional connection with women despite you being attracted to them. I thought everything negative my mom said was directed toward me. I tried to bring it up to her that I felt this way but she called bs. Took therapy and it’s helped tremendously. Thing is she didn’t do it on purpose. She claims she loves me. She herself had an extremely rough up bringing. God bless the fact that I am realizing this more and more as the days pass by. If you feel a certain way about your parents and you feel betrayed by the world, it isn’t your fault. Thoughts of ending myself were constant. If you are experiencing this. You aren’t alone. It’s excruciating, I know, but keep finding that hidden light you know you have inside of you deep deep down.

[@jenniferleigh1674]

This helped so much! I sabotage EVERYTHING and every potential date because I just put a wall up. I hate living that way and I continousy get turned off by the slightest thing. I dont want to live like this and want to be loved and love.

[@jenniferleigh1674]

You nailed EVERYTHING I got through with my mom choosing a spouse over her kids how ive acted and how it worked out in my adult hood at 33 now when i try to date and/or act as if i dont "need" people. I feel like you were reading my mind.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks so much for watching. Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@HisaLight2mypath]

Yep same as me every relationship I get don't last past two months because I overreact and the person ends up running away. But right now I'm seeing someone . but I'm gonna use this as practice and try and self soothe every time I get triggered for example if the guy doesn't call or goes silent for a while I get triggered I need to put my hand on my heart and self soothe

[@kellomelon5404]

That is EXACTLY how I feel

[@willverify1606]

You must learn self love and value or you will never find love. It's you you're looking for.

[@travis2050]

Divorce is abandonment, and that's most of us nowadays. I don't care what your background is, economically or whatever, it's hard to see your family break up and process a new idea of what a family is. I have felt unloved and unlovable my whole life, even while feeling confident at certain skills. This is very relatable.

[@CashCowz962]

I totally domt believe in love anymore...divorced..with child abandonment issues...family abandonment issues too..used by my family..raised to be a provider....I have never seen myself as deserving of even caring for my own self...tough

[@ralfwashington1502]

Divorce is horrible to the kids. Now split up family gatherings for many more years and ongoing BS.

[@PS-xb9hc]

Divorce is so painful.Sometimes needed unfortunately.

[@kiriume]

It's worse when parents who don't love each other stay together, that's awful :(

[@Aztecinexile]

@@kiriume so you're divorced

[@anusomarathne5677]

This video made me realise what a walking train wreck I’ve been all my 24 years of life.. I finally understand my sudden panic attacks, nightmares and why i keep hurting and pushing away the one i love most and why being with him makes me feel like am loosing myself and why I can’t trust anybody in my life. i feel like I’ve finally found my family in this comment section. I can relate to most of what you guys are feeling.. I feel for you all.. ♥️ Thankyou so much for this video.. I hope this helps me with time.

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing peace, health, and happiness.

[@codacreator6162]

I’m really glad you discovered this at 24. Took me to 56. Multiple misdiagnoses, relationship breakups, feeling like I’m running and not getting anywhere. I always knew something was wrong, but people kept telling me I just needed to “focus on work” and it would go away. That actually worked (sort of) for a few years at a time before I would melt down emotionally and retreated to a place of isolation. Over and over. Knowing what’s wrong is huge step in the right direction, but finding someone to help is tremendously difficult. Don’t give up. You’re young. The journey will absolutely be worth it, no matter what else happens in your life. I’d give anything to have the confidence that matches the accomplishments of my life. And that’s what I’m working toward now.

[@cbcbmail1125]

You’re VERY fortunate to have this realization at 24 than 48 or 68 😵

[@utkdimebag]

33 years for me now, realized first time when i was 31. Still trying to regain my sanity.

[@savannahrhodes7259]

When I gave it to God, things got easier. I didn't have the ability to love the person I was in a relationship with due to a wall I built to protect myself. I constantly tried to flee my marriage when things got tough. When things were out of my control I would spiral like it was the end of the world. I prayed to God to help make me vulnerable to my husband so I could finally feel love for him. I learned through prayer and reading the Word that I was not relinquishing control to God. I felt good when I was in control until I wasn't. Learning to trust God taught me how to feel secure whether the world around me was steadfast or crumbling. I became vulnerable to God and let Him in, and then likewise with my husband. I was able to experience love for the first time and it was amazing. Praise be to You, God. He freed me from my past.

[@iisaka_station]

Good for you, hun

[@ByDesign333]

you found the best... bc your answer is eternal!

[@loveschile7339]

This is my goal. This was inspiring for me. Thank you.

[@sylviaachieng7299]

AMEN and AMEN 🤲🤲🏾🙏🏾🙌🙏🤲🏻

[@karinajocelyn]

Yes! Thank you for sharing this! May God bless you! ❤️❤️

[@Iquey]

Am I afraidd of abandonment? Maybe. I'm afraid of wasting people's time. Afraid of trying to get closer and then just being written off as not worth it. I'm not getting any younger so, I may as well just be happy with whatever I CAN get, shallow friendships are good, as long as it doesn't hurt me. Deep friendships are also good, but very hard and very rare.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching, and expressing those thoughts and feelings.

[@Medietos]

We usually attract others with similar energy and emissions as we.I met a man 2 days ago, fantasising wishfully. He behaved only awfully in many ways,said he was Bipolar,but it took me a whíle to get it,and i want to be accepting towards others psychical health states. And am numb with ongoing trauma (we met in waiting room at bad PSychiatrist' office where I was abused.Again. We have much in common, but I realize that is not enough.If ill, he has to bw willing and working to take care of himself and be decent to me., and self-heal-work. What I take away, as the pearl in the manure-heap,is that i have to get stronger and wholler to attract a healthier man. I am not like him,but can be abusive in my worst moments even though much more amending and helpful, self-sacrificing, enduring. Maybe he was the best sign-post God had nearby to send in my way. Good speech this, great that an extrovert can be so compassionate and wise.

[@barbibutton9619]

@@Medietos just my opinion but it sounds so unhealthy. Be careful

[@Trper-qh1nn]

Same here I relate totally so I'm with you on that but I'm trying so hard to get away from my abandonment issues and I cling onto almost anyone who shows good emotions towards me and more so in dating

[@adakarayel6684]

Hate shallow interactions, they seem to me like a waste of precious time.

[@CrownedMeadow]

I felt this a lot as a child. Extreme anxiety about absolutely everything, because I never felt that I did anything right at home (how could I possibly be getting anything right anywhere else?) Fortunately, as an adult, I’ve tried a lot of new things out of sheer interest, and have gained confidence from simply being involved in something I wasn’t pressured to be good at. Fortunately, as an adult, much of it has subsided, but people in positions of authority still strike fear into my heart. I am convinced in the depths of my soul that I’m going to disappoint them and I’ll be seen as a failure in their eyes from that point forward. I know it’s absurd, but I don’t know how to stop believing it. I don’t fear not being loved per se, but I’m convinced that I’ll be found to be a fraud, or not good enough, and I’ll disappoint and fail for some reason anyway.

[@cbcbmail1125]

You have to find a new belief. What’s important to you? What do you like & want? Questions to ask yourself! Do things that make you happy EVERY day! Even if it’s just getting some flowers or going in nature!! Look & dress ur best always!! Listen to “you can heal your life” from Louise Hay here on this platform. Much love 2 u💕 You are worthy 🤩🥳

[@kevintolbert4934]

I so wish I would have heard this a few years ago. My gf of 6 years recently died. She suffered from this greatly. She was raped for years by her grandfather. Her dad was a hells angel and put her through so much. She had terribly abusive relationships. Her ex beat the hell out of her all the time. He forced her into sex acts She didn't want and much more. So sad when she told me that at 48 years old I was the first man that made love to her. She had a difficult time getting that I always wanted to do the best for her. She didn't know that it was possible for a man to put her needs first. She started trusting me, because I was always trustworthy, but she struggled with being able to except love. She would take nearly any drug to cover her pain. She would leave for days and get in trouble. She was raped twice while with me while in pursuit of drugs. I could on forever. I worked in mental health for years, that and going through trauma from her and listening to her I eventually got a good handle on what was going on. Then I was able to handle her abuse without being personally hurt. I came to understand why she did what she did. When she was sober and not in a psychotic episode she would tell that she needed me and couldn't make it own. I basically tried to give her unconditional love. No matter what she did or how bad she hurt me I always forgave and tried to love her more. No one understands why I put up with so much, but I loved with all my heart, no matter what. She did start to trust me more and more, never completely. If I had figured it out sooner it would have helped. She would try so hard at times to hurt me and she did, until I realized it wasn't personal and I could easily predict what she was going to do next. Then she couldn't hurt me and I had even more empathy and compassion for her. My people never understood this. It was an illness and deserved to be treated as such. The more she did to me the more I loved her. She knew this but at bad times she didn't, but would later apologize. I know she loved me, but had difficulty showing me. God I would do anything to be able to tell her this and I understood her. She did eventually become to know and believe that I was not going to hurt her. But for a long time she always was afraid that at anytime I would hit or hurt her sexually,I mean physically hurt her sexually. Just like every other man she had been with. She eventually trusted me enough to say she had been with over 30 men, everyone of which beat her and sexually abused her. When she raped she didn't think she was worth doing anything about it just the way was. One of the men that raped her drugged her and then sent me pictures of her naked. He thought I would leave her and go to him. However the pictures proofed to me what happened. She was so scared of what I would do. I told her I believed her and I did. I hate to say it but the only time I have ever physically hurt someone was him. Wanted her to know when she hurt I hurt and that she was worth me doing something I wouldn't have. Also willingness to take a risk because he hurt my baby. Nothing too bad,I beat both his eyes shut and stomped his testicle, made sure he knew who I was and why I did it. This is not me. Only ever touched someone in anger, but it was good I did, because it was the real beginning of her starting to trust me. No one ever took up for her. She said it was the first time someone risked a lot, including my life or my freedom. Because someone hurt my baby. She never completely was able to love herself, but I proofed to her my loyalty and she still did the same things. However, not as much and least during her more stable and sober times she let me know that she truly believed I loved her. Now a week she try me, but I would tell her what she was doing and knew right. She never was able to always love, but became able to at times enough that I knew she loved me and when I would tell her I knew what she was doing and because of that she couldn't me and by God she couldn't ever make me not love her. I think in her last year she more often felt my love and had some peace sometimes. I think if we had more time she would have slowly but surely have been able to love and be loved more. I pray everyday that I least helped her experience a little taste of love and acceptance. I talk to her everyday hoping she hears me and she has peace that she was lovable. I got to stop. This is still fresh and difficult. Writing this is helping me organize my thoughts around this. Anybody out there that has such a troubled person in their life. Please no matter what love them fully, because all human beings are worthy and deserving love. There are a lot people in this world that don't know love. That is unacceptable.

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@ayanjoemusic]

Thank you for sharing your story.

[@denfolo5224]

Beautiful ❤️

[@nebula5025]

Thank you for sharing 💜

[@gailm778]

I also tried to be a saviour to my ex...recently I've became a member of CODA and its helping me turn my life around and my focus is on my own mental pain and insecurities, it feels wonderful to finally have amazing support...blessings

[@beachesincali7606]

This video actually took me out of being majorly triggered and wanting to cut everyone off and just getting really suicidal. I'm not sure how but I really do want to get better, I'm 21 so I just want to have a good life. I need to heal idk I'm gonna get a therapist

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@bossthoughtress]

Find someone good that wont just question you to death, but lets you lick your wounds and grow in the right direction. You are young you have time to repair what whatever is in your way. Im excited for you and your journey.

[@AdaAdi77]

get help with attachment-focused EMDR or with brainspotting. Those are modalities that actually work of childhood trauma.

[@beachesincali7606]

Thank you guys so much! I actually have gotten a therapist so I'm setting up my second meeting! She did give me some coping mechanisms and she was so so nice so hopefully all works out

[@laurenazalea8848]

you are so young and can heal these woundings- follow me on IG @missthirdeyeblue i have been there and understand, i am here for you to help you heal through your trauma and into self love

[@wiscatbijles]

I got abandoned by my father when I was 4. Through a lot of pain and denial I finally figured out I have an attachment trauma that has led to a fear of abandonment. I sabotage my own relationships because of fear of being abandoned, it gives me a sense of control. Thanks for this presentation. I definitely see myself in the slides and see that I have these core beliefs about myself.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Best wishes.

[@adakarayel6684]

WisCAT Bijles, some people can be trusted. Some people can see into other's hearts & see their uniqueness & light. Give yourself a chance. You deserve to be happy & have a peace.

[@eyespy0070]

By doing that you are hurting other people and that is perpetuating pain. If you are going to do that to people you really shouldn't be dating.

[@lauriefillman307]

Exactly

[@krish.5823]

Guess what? It never goes away, it's always with me, and it's torturous.

[@brianarbenz7206]

You can reduce its hold on you. You can become more contented. I have, though there is no "fix."

[@melissamaclean2733]

I am the same.

[@jordsupp]

It's your safe place, perhaps?

[@conqururfear]

Yep. Me too

[@lukysevynx6385]

Focus on how it would feel to be free from it instead. Actually feel it. It will go away it’s still here because ur focusing on the fact that it’s here. 😊

[@TAG-1984]

All my relationships have been extremely short, so far. because of unbearable anxiety. Thank you so much for explaining where it stem’s from. And for the advice!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@taslikhoney]

This was me. Never had a relationship last over a few months because i.would.push them away

[@alexgorron6470]

Looking at attachment styles helped me and I found her videos as well.

[@SleepyCity0001]

I find that many people do not talk about what having a parent with major depressive disorder is like, and this is one of the first videos I've seen that actually talks about that, so I appreciate that. My mother had and has severe depression, she was often emotionally unavailable, I never remembered feeling like it was my fault but I do remember feeling very very alone. Unfortunately my father left when I was born and I had inconsistent father type figures in my life so I was without both and I think, that loneliness was very painful for me & something I endlessly seek to avoid. I cannot be without some type of romantic partner or potential love interest, and I'm constantly daydreaming to cope with the reality I'm in and the loneliness I feel. I want to escape this but it's difficult, but lately I've been feeling hopeful and its videos like these that help it all make a bit more sense. thank you♡

[@violetgc6049]

Just want you to know that I hear you and I relate to you very much. Our stories are very similar. You aren't alone. It's not our fault. We're not weird. Love yourself as you are and meet yourself WHERE you are right now. One positive thing about this kind of pain is that we go deep, we have to. Our lives are not easy so we have to go deep to understand ourselves and to learn why we hurt. And that causes so much growth and depth, and compassion for others. I've come to embrace this about myself but it's still such a relief to hear other stories and know that I'm not alone. Much love! xo

[@janlowmeg5682]

Not all abandonment comes in childhood but in marriage/relationships- given by the people they love. It hurts all the same.

[@Joel-sv3ww]

There is a big difference...Someone with trams vs someone who hasn't will handle that situation a lot harder than someone who doesn't have that tramua..

[@SEASCAT]

Hate to say this, but imagine that pain increased by about 200 times and that's what it's like to be abandoned as a young child. That pain often stays with you all of your life and it doesn't end.

[@indoororchidsandtropicals358]

I second and third the other comments. When you're a child you're 100 percent dependent on caregivers and your brain hasn't developed yet. Neglect and trauma literally changes the brain. It doesn't develop the same way. See the article titled sticks and stones may break my bones but words can cause brain damage. A kid can't go out and get a job to feed themselves. Thats kind of the difference. Your schema can prob get screwed up from divorce but your white matter won't shrink.

[@elizabethgalentine64]

Hmm

[@jovitabhengra]

its rlly not the same but ur hurt is defo valid

[@FS02012]

14 isn't a young woman - 14 is a growing teenage child! I was still going through puberty as a female!

[@crazycatladyjo2688]

Yes 14 is a child. Anything that happened to you at that age that was abusive or inapproiate was not your fault.

[@Rasheens-Story]

I used to be this way. I used to think that by disagreeing with my partners they would leave me forever. Now I am healing and getting better day by day. I’m happy I’m a good mom because my Kids have never cried when I left them at day care or school yay 😃 I always speak positive words to my kids and I always encourage them ❤️

[@DocSnipes]

Awesome. Wishing you peace, health and happiness. Thanks for watching.

[@fmouse6269]

That's cool 😎

[@joeygreathouse3029]

Get ready to have a good answer for when your kid asks you why you didn't raise them and instead permitted strangers to raise them It's coming eventually!

[@empressoflonelinessnightwa936]

I knew if I disagreed with my parents they would leave. It is prevalent in my life to this day. And to use my sibling or any other trusted person in my life against me no wonder I struggle I struggle extremely bad with abandonment issues. Because I'm used to having a parent shut down to trigger bad behavior or choices in me. Then they can use that senaro against me. I know I'm not a child any more but this is true for adults. I am so used to a parent or sibling not seeing the stress I am in and blaming me for everything. I am used to being scapegoated .

[@donnakeeley7924]

@@empressoflonelinessnightwa936 Just know you aren't alone. I cannot trust and when I have trusted, lowered the walls, they used me,lied to me and left me. Abandoned by everyone I've ever loved, ghosted by a mother who hated me and a family who believed her lies and wouldn't even let me know my nieces or nephews. I wasn't included in holidays or visits. I don't know how I survived for 60+ years, except I have been totally alone for the last 10 years and haven't formed any close relationship. I am safe by myself but do have 2 cats that I treasure and adore. It works a day at a time and I walk the razors edge between life and death with every breath I take. Isolation, being alone, is the only way I have survived so far.

[@kesalawheeler]

This video triggered some pain and healed me at the same time. Wow!

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@thatsjustnotfair5888]

@@DocSnipes Peace, health and happiness, even love...they all wither very quickly without simple, fair justice.

[@DEFACTO9]

As a sufferer I have come to realise the fear of rejection has caused me to pre-emptively end Relationships or behave inappropriately in too important relationships. The fear has caused rapid flight upon perceived impending rejection. Thank you for this content I have so far been able to triangulate everything back to attachment issues because both of my parents were narcissists. The slides are gold in helping me on cover this and providing a pathway for healing. And therefore behavioural modification when this fear of rejection perception arises

[@DocSnipes]

Great self-analysis. Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@DEFACTO9]

@@DocSnipes Thank you, it means a lot that you said that. I am also aware. That many don't get here. Because of their own particular issues. It's not your fault guys. We are all works in progress. But you are here for a reason. Recognise that. Something is up.

[@primrosec.2045]

This is such a brilliant counseling session . Exactly what I need to help me heal from abandonment anxiety . Thank you

[@DocSnipes]

I am happy to know it was helpful to you. Best wishes, and Thanks for watching.

[@primrosec.2045]

@@DocSnipes Thank you so much! :)

[@djdebssuperlawyersjusticeu9855]

Thanks

[@djdebssuperlawyersjusticeu9855]

Babies raising babies is ridiculously high

[@djdebssuperlawyersjusticeu9855]

Is JEALOUSY A RESULT OF FEAR OF ABANDONMENT??????

[@aubreyduncan8459]

I'm here because I've been ghosted by someone I really care about.. I'm moving at the end of next month... and it's just heartbreaking. I try to work through these feelings of abandonment but I literally have a broken heart💔💔😭 this past year I've lost so many people I love. 😩😔💔 I'm basically just picking up my pieces hoping for a new start. Abandonment issues suck😔💔

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness. Thanks for watching.

[@KishBish]

😭😭 it's the worst!

[@emilyl.771]

How are you doing 6 months later? I’ve recently been ghosted too. It’s extremely distressing. Hope you are ok. Time does heal.

[@brianmarshall3931]

Toughest thing I have ever gone through in my entire life... facing the truth.

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness.

[@AdaAdi77]

but you are not responsible. You are just a victim of your environment...

[@TT-hw2ol]

How did you go about doing it? I need help and feel alone and scared to know where to begin

[@brianmarshall3931]

@@TT-hw2ol Hi Tory... I know exactly how your feel. I can only outline for you what I did, I am NOT qualified to give you advice. It was a painful process and took almost 2 solid years of daily research, TONS of hard work & self examination - and I did it pretty much on my own. I also had the deepest, darkest depression of my lifetime going on at the same time. Looking back now, I think I could have done it more efficiently (less unnecessary detours) with some qualified help - but at the time I had no resources and formal, professional treatment is not free. (Nor is it easy to find the right fit - and that is super important!) I can say that it was definitely worth doing - understanding yourself always is... I discovered an awful lot about myself that I had no idea of beforehand! I would need some semi-personal details about yourself - age, whereabouts on the planet you might be, what resources you have available, and how much time you have to devote to it. The most important ingredient would be your level of commitment to beating it. I don't know if you would want to get into that on a public forum like this - or do it more privately?

[@FreeDom-fv8wy]

At least you did it, and started your journey to self-healing.

[@flowercreamy8856]

I always feel like the black sheep

[@frankstared]

This is because you give credibility to harmful introjects. You need to start listening to your inner child.

[@victoriasouter2295]

So sad how many feel like this I feel a disappointment everything I do is not enough I just feel so empty all the time & my brain goes in overdrive then i shut down completely feel sad I dont even want to engage with people I crave alone time then I'm wrong for that too. Maybe if our feelings arent neglected we wouldn't feel like this 😪

[@frankstared]

@Huminatarian Smith I suggest reading Alice Miller's "For Your Own Good"...or anything by Alice Miller. You need to find therapeutic activities that help you healthfully integrate the pain and the past and into your true self and the present.

[@wowso4]

Your not a black sheep your loved and appreciated. You need to do the inner work to heal that part of you that feels that way. best of luck darling your worth it.

[@evemaddox469]

@@victoriasouter2295 Because you have to be happy with yourself. Don’t base your happiness in others. I had to take some time alone to learn this. I used to not be able to be alone. Now, I’m completely content either way. I can be alone. I no longer need someone else’s approval. I no longer have to have someone there at all times. I have lived alone now for two years. I actually love it! I have healed so much in so many ways.

[@ecolife3855]

This video was not really made for people with abandonment anxiety or fear of love, but for therapist or counselors seeking to help others. If you are dealing with abandonment issues you first need to acknowledge these emotions, find where it stems from more often than not it's your childhood and then you need to forgive. If you can't forgive or at least understand the perspective of the person or situation that caused this trauma it will be hard to move forward. Many times someone who caused this sort of trauma wasn't able to love themselves or others adequately. You need to forgive or at least understand in order to remove yourself from the victim mentality and end the cycle. Then you need to start loving yourself so that you aren't dependent of it coming from an external source that may or may not eventually let you down. Easier said than done, but this is a good start.

[@Medietos]

Eco Life: Thank you.

[@KateBates22zabu]

Yes talking, putting into words helped me understand & make connections because I found being motherless *shameful* and embarrassing

[@marinaviljoen7139]

How do you love yourself

[@UrialsGift]

This comment was worded perfectly thank you

[@taaliyahnatasha4967]

Definitely!

[@carins1499]

I have had fears of abandonment and rejection for many years. I was dealing with them fairly well for a few years but I’m back to an unhealthy place with them again. This presentation helps me think my issues through. My mother unexpectedly died when I was 19, then a few months later my “second mom” died (grandma who had lived with us since I was a baby), my dad was the polar opposite of a parent from my mom and we fought horribly for years, I was married to a narcissist for 14 years who in the 8 years of being divorced has worked hard to alienate me from my son, and my only sibling has not been there for me when I’ve asked at important times. I happily, by choice, spend most of my time alone but I know it’s not healthy. I realize I have a lot of healing to do. I’m close to 50 and hope I still have time for an emotionally healthy and fulfilling life.

[@miguelchippsinteligente6072]

Jorden Peterson is very educational and helpful 👻💎👨‍🎓🤍🗽💖🧮🛡🗡⚖☄🌪🧮🌬

[@miguelchippsinteligente6072]

Tesla referenced human energy 🌬👻jesus christ referenced living waters 💎👨‍🎓science described water memory 👩‍🎓🌊existence reflecting psychologically, psalms16:24 k,j 👻💎👨‍🎓👩‍🎓🌊🧮🗽💖🛡🗡⚖☄🌪🧮🌬

[@miguelchippsinteligente6072]

Ya will their is 💎🗽💖👨‍🎓👩‍🎓

[@frederickbowdler8169]

Hope and pray for you. exercise and fresh air if you are able is my diagnosis good day to you.

[@SqueakySassy]

I am of the belief that if family is harmful to you, physically or emotionally, then it may be better to cut them out or at least go grey rock with them. It's up to you who your real family is. Take a look around you - close coworkers and friends could very well be your real family. Stay true to yourself and what is healthy for you, even if society doesn't always approve. Good luck!

[@poisonmistymoon3966]

I really never asked to have cold parents. All my life i always dreamt of having loving warm parents and friends. I now understand why i want others to love me, it's because i haver experienced love early on in my life, i search for something i never realised and trying to heal.

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@lkern6238]

I appreciate this video. I'm 66 but feel emotionally stunted at 14. My dad died when I was young. That's when I learned "life isn't fair." I've learned to interact with others and have interest in their personal lives. I share things about my interests with others but don't believe they really care, but accept that. I think I'm hypersensitive, need to be in control of my emotions, and over analyze everything.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@mimi5985]

I am 65 and our Mother left us four kids when I was 10 , the damage lasted a life time and as a result I have bpd and live in a 24/7 enmeshed relationship always fearing he will abandon me ! Thankyou for this amazing video if only it had been available 50 years ago but guess it’s never too late

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness!

[@QueenCraftsChannel]

My God she read me like a book! I’m so glad I came across this channel/video. I need to heal asap. 🙏🏾😫♥️

[@DocSnipes]

Ty

[@thatsjustnotfair5888]

@@DocSnipes Who's Ty?

[@brianarbenz7206]

The first way to overcome abandonment anxiety is: Don't be the child of my father.

[@frankstared]

Freud taught us that the inner child is the father to the man. That is immensely hopeful! Whatever our real parents and guardians were like, we can still be the loving and kind parent to ourselves. That is the real hallmark of adult wellness. A good tip when you are in a bind is this: think about what you would say to a good friend, a friend you respected, you cared for and one who always validated the real you, who asked you for advice-that is precisely how you should counsel yourself when you are in a difficult spot too.

[@Nobi72]

Yep. Hearing you. Trying to heal myself now at 48, never too late. Good luck on your journey.

[@WWHJourneyofaWhitefeather]

I hear you ...they gave us shelter food water and a chance to get educated but what else Not much if not anything really I have come to the conclusion on this No harm but my power and life is highest priority now

[@adakarayel6684]

@@Overprotected-oi2pl Hugs from me.

[@wouldntyouliketoknow1894]

😪😳🙈🙉🙊💔🤦😭

[@larrycork1361]

I have abandonment issues, this was helpful, triggering issues about holding on to what is familiar, change is difficult, holding on to the past, not being able or willing to expand in to a new social life to replace the people who are no longer there.

[@NoseJackMaggot]

I’m so happy I’ve come across this video. Currently I’m navigating through an adult intimate relationship that has uncovered a deep rooted abandonment wound.

[@vickymontufar]

How did you noticed? Im living the same and I never wanted to accept it or avoided to realize it so deeply inside of me 😔

[@NoseJackMaggot]

@@vickymontufar honestly, therapy. I've been going to therapy for the last 4 years. It has given me the tools to build awareness within my body and how certain words or actions make me feel. For example- my bf wants time alone, my mouth gets dry and my stomach knots. In a way to comfort myself I might people please or over extend myself for that person. Doing that leads to resentment. Once you become aware of how your emotions are projected externally it will become easier to spot your patterns. Journaling as well has been so helpful.

[@moniqueabundance]

I'm suffering from deep rooted abandonment wound too. Can you tell me what really helps? I'm suffering and can't stand when I get any hint of my partner not being close enough. Then I threaten to break it off (control). I hate the cycle. Please help

[@melanierobinson929]

Theres alot to unpack here and I thank you for helping to having a insight to my own feelings of abandonment and trauma. A step in the right direction towards my healing.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@Lil_Guy-ser]

I'm so happy to find your teachings. I've been struggling with abandonment, fears, and anxiety issues. I'm hoping to start healing. It took a while to understand what I've been dealing with. I have so many emotional failures in me and I can't seem to get rid of them. I cry a lot it's like I can't seem to accept that I am good enough. The slightest thing gone wrong and I go after myself so hard. I hope to find some healing here. I'm ready.

[@letsgrowandprosper6562]

Try learning more about self compassion. My therapist recently introduced me to it first coined by Neff K. All the best to us!

[@kit6863]

I am that newborn baby that did not get to bond with her mother. My mother had a traumtic birth experience with me and I am the eldest of her 3 children. She was the primary care giver as my father was in the army and was not home a lot. My mother bonded with my younger sister and brother. My brother was born with severe disabilities also. 46 years later and my mother still hates me, neglects me, shuts me out, and has gone out of her way in the past and now to cause me pain. In the past she always reminded me how much I hurt her and how I stuffed up her ability to have a normal birthing experience. She pushed me away from the very start 46 years ago, never touched me, was never kind to me, never gave me the time of day, was always abusive, angry, heavy handed and negative with me. This then stemmed to her using me as a pawn in order to lie, manipulated and steal from my father. She now controls the family and myself and my little girl are on the outside. We are not invited to any family events or holiday celebrations. If my friends see my mother out in the community and say hi, the first thing out of her mouth is how bad I am. This has caused me so much illness and pain, it cripples my life moving forward on every level and has done my entire life. Im beyond one hot mess... I want and need help and I dont knw where to start.

[@DocSnipes]

My heart aches to hear that. I would suggest exploring a therapist that specializes in attachment-based therapy to help you process the trauma and loss. www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/ find your location and under "types of therapy" select attachment-based

[@oopsidazy143]

Once a scapegoat always a scapegoat. It’s been yrs here...I chose no contact. It’s easier on my heartstrings and although the pain continues to remain; in turn this isn’t constantly triggered by their narcissism. I wish you well whichever way you decide to grow and or let them go❤️

[@michs1143]

Wow, sorry to say but sounds like ur mum and mine were good friends and shared parenting techniques. I'm mortified to hear my story from a stranger. I don't know how to get out of survival mode yet but I know that at least for today, I'm alive. Hold on and know your better than anything anyone ur mum included, could tell you about yourself.

[@michs1143]

I totally understand the crippling part. But I've come to understand that when you are removed from your "oppressor" their words, become a self fulfilling prophecy through self sabotage. Learn to love and put yourself first. You are so much more, than the sum of mere words. Mine or anybody else's. You are infinite, with infinite capabilities ready for the picking.

[@pandorasullivan777]

I'm sorry. It sounds like she may be narcissistic, or sociopathic. They can pick on one child, while other children are golden. It isn't you!! It is a flaw in your parent. Seek love and approval elsewhere. Especially, find love from above, as healing will take a supernatural power. You are special, valued, love worthy, and you have gifts that most others don't have. God will bless you!

[@retard_activated]

Around the 12 minute mark - I know that my loved ones and I struggle with this fiercely - I am stuck in "survival mode" and have been for years now... My family feels the need to remind me of incomplete, defective and unwhole I am, due to mental and physical illness (a whole other topic because my physical illness also causes mental illness type symptoms and my family not understanding that definitely does not make me feel more stable...) I am becoming more self-aware and one of my daily rituals is watching something that can help me progress... But knowing and having it acknowledged that people in survival mode aren't usually focused on self-actualization is very validating. I often wonder why I can't seem to get the 'easy' and 'simple' tasks to improve my life when it literally seems so easy and simple to others...

[@serge6886]

I listen this many times... this lecture inspires me to heal

[@miguelchippsinteligente6072]

Jorden Peterson is good too

[@miguelchippsinteligente6072]

Tesla referenced human energy 🌬👻jesus christ referenced living waters 💎👨‍🎓👩‍🎓science described water memory 🌊👨‍🎨👩‍🎨existence reflecting psychologically, psalms16:24 k,j 👻💎👨‍🎓👩‍🎓🤍🗽💖🧮🛩⚖🌪☄🌬

[@miguelchippsinteligente6072]

Much love god bless 👻💎👨‍🎓👨‍🎓🤍🗽💖🧮🛩⚖🌪☄🌬

[@shan22777]

If only I watch this video 3.5 years ago… I might be able to still be with the one person I ever loved

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@saverdemocracy8793]

I thought the same thing but mine was in the late 70s. I literally self destructed because I could not believe he loved me. I have spent over 40 years working on overcoming my childhood. Before that I spent 15 yrs trying to destroy my self. Today I do not interact with any of my family because I finally want peace more that a relationship with insanity.

[@Happinessandhealth1]

Love yourself!

[@FROFilmsIRE]

Ah that’s so sad.

[@tariqahmed7244]

Thts co dependency . Empthtic to tht person despite all odds

[@bluewaters3100]

This was an excellent video and should help many people who maybe cannot afford professional outside help.

[@DocSnipes]

Ty

[@UrDutchFriend]

I came across this video as a recommended video while looking to learn about PTSD and depression, since someone I know is struggling with those issues and I want to understand. I decided this video looked interesting and I would watch it, eventhough it had nothing to do with what I was looking for. Today, while watching this; I've learned that I, myself, have abandonment anxiety and I never even knew. I always noticed the patterns when certain things in life happened over and over. I never realised why I was struggling so much with opening up to people and forming relationships, intimate or otherwise and why I kept showing the same behavioural patterns when things felt like they were going south, eventhough they might not have been after all. This video made me realise I've put up so many barriers around myself to avoid getting hurt, that I've never been able to form real relationships except for some very old childhood friends of which I've learned they were never going to leave me. I never understood why, when I was trying to open up and connect with someone romantically, that that wasn't what I was really doing, but instead chased them away out of the fear of getting hurt. Which in turn, hurt me even more. I am now trying to date again for the first time in 10 years because all this time I've been scared of being abandoned again and I've been noticing I was slipping back into my old patterns again. Being way too scared to open up and be my true self, since I've lost who my true self was in the process of being scared to abandoned all the time. And I'm being way too clingy. Affraid to lose that which, for the first time in 10 years, I've chosen to feel vulnerable with again. I realise now that I need help to overcome and process this. So I can actually learn how to be the best version of me. This has really opened up something deeply rooted in me that I didn't even realise was there. I will try to seek therapy. Thank you.

[@kaffeine69]

I am a stranger to you, but I want to say that I’m so proud of you for making these deductions about you and your life patterns. This was movement, and please continue with your awareness of how you react to life. This will not only make you stronger and happier, but also please consider how your relationships will change in the future...we are all paying forward our past misbehaviors in ways we may never see, as well as our future behaviors that are loving and honest (no games, no walls up) with those we meet and current friends. Good for you. What you wrote was genuine and moved me, I hope you continue striving for happiness...the past is just the PAST 💖

[@UrDutchFriend]

@@kaffeine69 Thanks you for your kind words. It means a lot to me. Since I've wrote the last message I've been to the doctor to seek help and talked to my family and close friends about it. They've been very supportive and I will soon start with therapy and am already on some medication to help me with my (what seems to be) depression and anxiety.

[@violator2695]

All the best on your journey mate.

[@harima36]

Your writing is very clear and concise. Such a pleasure to read. I myself am very skeptical of therapists. I spent some time with a therapist after an extremely difficult divorce. I felt at the time that the therapist was not very effective and was in it for the $ and self importance. Then i came to the conclusion that she herself needed a therapist. For example the woman speaking here drives me into anxiety just by her high pitched erratic mentally stressed presentation that i was not able to tolerate for more than 5 seconds. I sampled the youtube in several places but for me she comes across as hysterical. I would be interested in the information but the presentation is 'off' for me. I would recommend instead looking to oneself for healing. This may be the only true direction to go since deep inside is a SELF that is ever present and ever well. In hinduism this self is referred to as atman. To reside with that SELF for even a short time facilitates the capacity for the 'shattered pieces to reassemble themselves'. Looking outside of ourselves to the sensory world is futile, vast and filled with litter. - Answers and repairs can flood in of their own accord if we work internally. Before we even begin we need to calm down a little. Gentle slow deep breathing (a science in itself) can help us calm. We must decide to trust the most trustworthy part of ourselves.. which is inevitably the only solid rock that we can build on. We need to stop looking at all the 'glitz and glitter' of the distractive external world. Perhaps spend a little time in nature under a tree just doing nothing. Curl up and sleep like a little animal under the tree. 'Allow' the healing.. just 'let go'. Ask the 'vastness and the universal intelligence that animates everything that we are to hear our 'prayer for the self'. Some people call that god but i find that religious concepts/dogma get in the way. If you seek in a fresh non-grasping sincere way while extending trust and humbly ask.. much will be given. Some simplified practices such as gentle yoga, the breathing that i mentioned, some intentional gentle 'letting go' of everything (most of which is unnecessary baggage) to which the mind clings a space for new possibilities will open. Some regularity doing this can create a base... upon which can be built 'little by little' through 'self -creation' a new relationship to ourselves that can be the new home for our 'new selves'. Hope this makes sense. Looking outward to others to do this for us is dangerous in my opinion because no-one can know us or take responsibility for our selves. Looking to the past or asking someone else to dredge it up for us will just muddy the water. Once we come to a place in ourselves that is close to absolute zero we can find solid rock upon which to form our own foundation. From there we can look out to the myriad possibilities of wonderful spiritual teachings, philosophers, therapeutic knowledge on KZbins etc. to choose what gems of knowledge work for us... without getting dragged down the street by them. Ultimately, only we can be the discerning ones who little by little choose which 'stones of external knowledge' that resonate for us that are qualified to cement into place on our new foundation. We must choose wisely. I have walked my ever-unfolding path for as long as i can remember and i would be happy to answer as simply as possible your specific questions.. Ultimately we can only 'trust the SELF'

[@younot6921]

@@harima36 i agree wholeheartedly, thank you for sending this message. it was much needed and much received from me at this time

[@kg8046]

I really struggle at 62. I was abandoned several times in my early childhood in several different ways - also family scapegoat middle of three daughters with very dominant father who pitted my sisters and I against each other in the name of sports excellence. Here’s the problem .... I don’t believe my family did it on purpose and I don’t believe they didn’t love me. It’s taken years to understand and accept this. My father apologized when I was an adult- but the family dynamics never changed. It’s just the way it was/is. As we get together as adults it all comes back. I understand it, recognize it - don’t react anymore. I guess that is dealing with it - but it still hurts terribly and makes me wonder why . I exhibit all signs of fear of abandonment and codependency and seem to attract narcissists who end up treating me horribly. Why can’t I escape these behaviors ?

[@aktchungrabanio6467]

You need to set very strong boundaries with your family if you wish to end the cycle.

[@margarettelaizure3220]

That is totally me as well, setting boundaries and self care are definitely the place to start.

[@alysiahite12]

Was abandoned emotional, and physically. I was left in another state when I was 12 years old with a family that I was babysitting for. Mother never came back. She was never there for me emotionally too. 😓 My ex was in the National Guard. He was always leaving me. He found reasons to leave me. 🙄 He is a malignant narssisstic physcopath. Left him and been healing my inner child.😍🙏💪👑

[@alexliu7572]

I was in the similar situation, my parents left me and went to another country when I was 12, for 5 years. It was one of the most painful moments of my life and it happened to be the most life changing blessing that ever happened. The larger the wound the more capacity we have to help others. Because when we heal ourselves from this wound, we can relate to so many others out there and guide them through their healing journey. Life happens for us, not to us. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and amazing people will come into your life who will always be there for you and never abandon you. Most importantly we will never abandon ourselves❤ Sending you love & blessings

[@SaltedHope]

Thank you! This was so helpful. After watching this I think it's clear that I have abandonment issues and some codependency. I'm seeing toxic patterns in my relationships and it seems that when a partner sees that I have a very emotional reaction to feeling abandoned it's often used against me to gain control of me and with my fear of abandonment I allow many other toxic habits both in myself and with unhealthy partners. Many of my relationships have been unhealthy and the ones that went well I ended out of fear of them going badly and feeling that loss. The unhealthy and even abusive relationships seem to be more of a comfort to me since it resembles what I grew up with. I'd like to rid myself of codependency and attachment issues so I can actually have standards for myself and how I deserve to be treated. I've learned this evolves from loving myself the right way first. In that, knowledge is key and being able to recognize unhealthy behaviors both in myself and others, which I am only recently finding I've been unable to identify until recently. I wish everyone else luck if they're on the sake journey of personal growth. Remember,that doesn't mean you're messed up or unworthy. We all have our own issues and these days it seems people are becoming more mentally unhealthy. I'm glad some are taking the responsibility to grow and live a happy and whole life. Set the example of stability and you can change the world! ☮️

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@PS-xb9hc]

I personally get so scared that run away from everything that might look as a chance of being loved.I'm a work in progress.

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness. Thanks for watching.

[@graycat7704]

Same I get extreme anxiety if anyone is even attracted to me, I don’t really like compliments so I convince myself in my head that it is a joke or that they kind to everyone secretly I’ve found out that I just wanna be Someone’s number 1 but at the same time I can see how toxic that can be.

[@brudyboy58]

Trust no one but yourself. I learned this early as a child and I have no regrets.

[@ralfwashington1502]

Same but deep down I know I want someone to share my fears with. I put up a wall saying no I'm good but really I do

[@grassgeese3916]

I learned this early as a child too. I'm exhausted though. All the adult life things, + my own grief of my entire childhood, I have no more strength to keep up this facade. I want to change for the better and I hope that you can find your way too. Much love take care

[@ralfwashington1502]

@@grassgeese3916 I'm at that point too. There is no way I can live a meaningful life without getting help to solve the past. Sure I'll have some notes on my medical record but I'm at the point where it should be worth it. Good luck with your search!!! The good thing is they have already heard most of it before so they can help.

[@lilgorgo]

I can't even trust myself. Yet. I will learn how.

[@kryssym1460]

That’s sad bcuz u actually CAN trust people u just haven’t found them or given ppl a chance I know it’s ppl u can trust bcuz I’m a trustworthy person been this way since a baby u can leave a billion dollars in my home and I’ll only take $100 😂 (I got my own money) so yea maybe u need to find u someone like me so yu can enjoy the act of Trusting ❤️❤️❤️

[@MsGechi77]

At 43 yrs old, this treatment is so new to me. Thank you 💜

[@fahezahnormohamed6147]

Get heal soon...

[@shelly4012]

I’ve done a lot of work on my abandonment wound issues, I’ve come so far! When I was young and dating, the more I liked a guy the more I pushed him away. I didn’t understand it at the time but now I think I was testing them to see if they would remain loyal and stay. My parents were too young when they married and started a family; dad checked out by working long hours and mom took care of basic needs only. We only received negative reinforcement, good behavior never acknowledged, not taught self respect and healthy boundaries, etc. It took me a series of failed relationships, both with partners and the relationship with myself, to want to change. I also made peace with my relationship with my parents before they passed away, not forgiving them but acknowledged it was the best they were capable of at the time. Taking that power back helped me tremendously.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@Walpurgisnacht.]

I'm at a loss of words only six or so minutes in.. this makes me feel an in incredible sense of new self-awareness. Here we go, therapy.

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@shannonsupplee9549]

Definitely spot on. My father wasn't around. And my mom was nasty. I have extremely terrible abandonedment issues. So bad, I'm 43 and alone. Have two kids too. I ruin every relationship I have bc I have no idea how to express myself and communicate.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@joshuawolff5119]

wow I've never left a comment on a video in my life. I'm 40. but after watching this video is just like to say thank you. very much this hit home on so many levels being the abandoned kid to the addict to the father that's been incarcerated. I always knew I had abandonment issues. so this was very insightful. I appreciate you so much really do keep up the good life changing help you do thank you

[@DocSnipes]

Wow, thank you! Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@hildahighlander2586]

Same with me, I loved going to my girlfriend's home, my grandparents, just about anywhere but my home. I felt safe and secure at either of these two places...much more so than I did with my own family.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@dr.timothyfuller8763]

I just now realized why I loved going to my grandparents for the summer and cried when I had to come back home

[@mike569112]

You can tell this women is efforting to offer service with her words. 🙏

[@DocSnipes]

Ty!

[@wouldntyouliketoknow1894]

Agreed

[@peaceinthemidst2814]

Thank you so much for this session! You've helped me understand why it's so hard to let a man get close to me, even if I want him to. Thanks!

[@DocSnipes]

I glad you were able to gain insight and hopefully will be able to take the next step towards loving yourself and developing meaningful intimate relationships.

[@tijanaharris3860]

I have this issue with my father, who remarried and left, and my mother who has always been emotionally unavailable. Now, I have three children with people who have decided the boys weren’t worth sticking around for. Alongside this, I’m a stepmom and it’s super challenging.

[@peaceinthemidst2814]

@@tijanaharris3860 WOW!!! I can't even begin to imagine how you are even coping with all of that!!! I recently found out from a Dr. Bruce Lipton that our daily behaviors and choices in life are due to the programs or beliefs that our parents and others instilled in us as children. Thoughts of unworthiness, fear, inadequacy etc. He stated that the only way to change is to reprogram our subconscious mind and replace the negative beliefs with positive beliefs. He said that we just need to record how we'd like to feel, behave, etc. and between 60-90 days we should see positive change in our behavior. I'm still in the first 30 days so I can't comment on the technique yet. I wish you and your family The Peace Of Jesus and success!!!

[@krish.5823]

Do you have trouble with only male relationships or relationships in general? Cuz I find it hard for me to have any kind of friendship or relationship.

[@peaceinthemidst2814]

@@krish.5823 I'm like you in the sense that if I get attached to a female as a friend and she starts to seem disloyal, I'll cut her off. Loyalty is huge for me. My mom left me when I was 2yrs old and I chased after her until I was in my 20's. The rejection was constant. I literally never speak to them again. That's no way to handle friendship but I can't stand the thought of allowing any friend to play with my mind. Their human and make mistakes but I can't bring myself to let them hurt me. So, yup, like you, I can't keep good friendships because of fear. My constant friendships are with girlfriends in 3 other states that I've lived in.....distance 😢

[@madisonmichelle8942]

Listening to this makes me realize how messed up my child hood really was and how I’m messed up from it.. my father left when I was like 3 or 4, and I got taken from my mother who is a heroin addict when I was 11.. my guardians where my aunt and uncle, even though I know they did they’re best because they were in their early twenties with me and my brother, an 11 year old and my brother a 10 year old.. However my aunt was extremely depressed and slept a lot.... and my uncle was a “hard love” kinda guy.. only pointing out our flaws.. never letting us know he was proud.. ive left every good guy I’ve ever been with for reasons I can’t explain. I’ve been on a spiritual path this past year or so and I’ve been healing so much, however.. my brother just passed away from an over dose at only 19.. he just partied and got a fake Percocet.. fentanyl. Gone just like that. And listening to this. I realize he was treated worse and he felt losing our mom (metaphorically shes Alive she’s just not there) worse. He was put down by our uncle and our grandpa so much.. I just feel that he could’ve been helped so much.. I’m sure he felt completely alone.. it’s sad.. but I am accepting myself, I’m very thankful for where I am.. I’ve met a great guy but my trust issues and I guess fear of abandonment is very scary.. this man is a future husband. Not just a boyfriend.. I’m falling for him and I’m petrified. I just want to be happy... I just want love. Idk. It’s difficult.. okay life story over..

[@flor8310]

I love you. I see you. I support you!

[@Estella275]

Sorry for your loss God Bless🙏

[@LDR411]

I like so many others stumbled on this video. I am a mental health professional but I did not expect this. I began watching this and my anxiety went through the roof (because I realized I have many of these issues) and I ended this video with a peace that I’m able to say, “I’m going to be alright but I have some work to do”. For me personally it was God sent and now that I have better understanding of me, I am committed to get better - Thank you so much.

[@DocSnipes]

You are welcome. Wishing you peace, health and happiness.

[@colleennederlof8889]

I am so thankful for one relationship. He listened, he respected me, he was so smart and he valued me. I gave him all I had which was a relationship with Jesus. I am so thankful to him.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for sharing

[@eddybrevet6816]

As a male with neurotic widowed mother, deceased father, three older siblings, WTF, I was a mess, to find that I was normal took too long, was fortunate to find someone I needed, Rest In Peace, a mess with a reason, gone away, I remain to love. She provided what I had so longed for human contact of opposite sex, without her, afraid to think where I be now

[@namugerwashamim1159]

Keep positive and stay focused love, life is too short to live a life of regret, i know your in pain having lost the person you loved most, but give your life a chance and peace, you will find love again.......Have you ever though of Gods love and the peace and new life he gives :), give him a chance and thank me later.

[@favored81]

I was abandoned as a kid by my parents. I am now 40 years old and just started therapy. Listening to this I understand why I am the way I am. I hope to embrace inner healing soon.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@erikpedersen4195]

This was the very first video of yours I watch and cracked the egg of my self healing journey. I've watched and rewatched so many of your videos, taken notes, worked my therapist with the content you make. I healed so much because of you. 2 years later and I am a completely new human. Boundaries, self love, stability. You saved my life! Forever grateful

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thank you for your kind words and for watching the video. I am grateful to have been of help on your healing journey

[@Psych2go]

Love this format!

[@cianjohnson7048]

Fyp cycle ml et

[@marisolflores9594]

Hi Psych2Go, I really like your channel. I try to watch at least one of your videos everyday.

[@supermichaelssecondchannel4342]

@@marisolflores9594 keep up the good work.

[@palaktaing6264]

Still yours is easy and better 😁

[@OXSweetnspicyXO]

Hey, it’s Psych2Go! Love your channel :)

[@Dying.ironically]

The list of Schemas was very much my life in a nutshell, although my Dad inadvertently taught us critical thinking and he could argue the toss about anything, sometimes from contradictory points of view when it suited him. I tended to be the family scapegoat a lot of the time and at the age of 52, I still have the automatic thought that if someone behaves badly towards me, including complete strangers who were probably out of order and / or having a bad day, that it was either my fault or something in my personality which caused them to be rude and unreasonable towards me.

[@AdaAdi77]

IQ versus emotional intelligence, two different things. If you want to address the childhood trauma, you need to look into modalities that go deep enough. Understanding the schemas is not a healing modality. Look into attachment-focused EMDR of Laurel Parnell or brainspotting.

[@michellebrown8495]

I dedicate this to my deceased partner this message. May God bless his soul.

[@kirstinstrand6292]

No thumbs up? Millions of views! Who, as Adults, has not had botched relations as we learn about ourselves. Doc Snipes gives us all tools to begin recovery, regardless of our ages. 😍

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks so much for your kind words.

[@deannabriley3748]

@@DocSnipes I can't thank you enough for these teachings. You are such a blessing to all of us.

[@djdebssuperlawyersjusticeu9855]

Adaptation and STRESSORS, STRESS TRIGGERS, EXPECTATIONS, MOM'S UPSET, DAD'S UPSET, THERE IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, FIGHT , FLIGHT ,FREEZE

[@jenaya_laila2442]

My friendships have always been like that! Smallest boundaries and people kick me out!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching and commenting. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@Savoiefair64]

This hit the nail on the head! My parents are both narcissists and growing up I learned to disengage. It was easy to do, as I am the oldest of 4 and they moved on the emotionally neglect the other 3 after me. My mom is a master gaslighter and it’s only now at the age of 58 that I’m finally able to not engage in her game of “see it my way or I’ll withhold my love”. She committed a final blow to the so-called relationship at the end of 2021, and I’ve completely walked away. Never have I had more peace, however I’m still dealing with the grief of the loss of a relationship hoped for, but never achieved. Thank you for this video!!!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching!

[@LC-eu1zh]

thank you so much for taking the time to make this video. already it's helped me view things through a different lens. I've been working on myself for a while, I acknowledge that the recognition from my parents for their absence would greatly help me, but because I am not them, I can only do my best and this video has been a great tool and step in undoing bad karma. I pass this mantra on to those that may read it, I came up with it and it's helped me, especially as someone who tends to like to be alone: you are worthy of the work required to bring out your best Self!

[@godallowsuturns679]

If you are a parent or know of a parent who has a child that suffers from anxiety, perhaps my latest video can be of assistance.

[@lisamarie8155]

I feel a sense of healing, already after listening to these pod casts today. My mom died sudden death when I was 11 which then drove my dad to drink more heavily and was already an alcoholic. Yikes! He having to raise 5 young children on his own. I like that you make reference to who I am now as an adult and how that's different from when I was 11. Pretty tragic and definitely has had a deep effect on my ability to have a healthy love relationship. But! I haven't given up and have a wonderful man who had his own abandonment issues growing up and has done much work! Oh this being human. God bless you all!!!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@DocSnipes]

Bless you as well. I also have another KZbin Channel: Good Orderly Direction | Practical Bible Study kzbin.info/door/YYJCD94NU3_qdbkSEyHLrg Please consider liking and subscribing.

[@lisamarie8155]

@@DocSnipes where do I find that?

[@lisamarie8155]

@@DocSnipes I found it! This is wonderful. What a great way to bring biblical truth and mental health together. I will share with my Christian friends!! And inbelivers I share the Gospel with.

[@originalcats2569]

I feel very anxious about my relationship because if my partner is sad or annoyed I feel like I’m losing her. Thanks to this amazing explanation !! Super well structured !!! My mum had to travel abroad and left me with my aunt along with my brothers for years. She came to visit us every two years when I was a child. I felt very scared and abandoned . My dad never was with me because he was traveling for all the time. Why am I so insecure in my relationship and why I feel like my wife will abandon me for another man. At this point I’m trying to not let my anxiety, jealousy , fear to trigger my feelings and then have an emotional outburst because I have a child. I realized that every time I have this kind of problem, my daughter can feel that negative energy. I just need some tipis so that I can understand why I feel like that thanks 🙏

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@TANYAJOY629]

I cried while listening to this. I felt like someone finally understood! Thank you so so much for posting!

[@DocSnipes]

You're so welcome!

[@PuginaConverseShoe]

This is potentially my new favorite channel to tune into. Thank you so much for these comprehensive and relatively in depth videos.

[@DocSnipes]

Welcome aboard! Ty

[@dianecall6171]

You absolutely hit everything on the head with my abandonment issues!! Thank you so much for explaining everything so well. I am learning more and more about what it is to have a healthy mind and soul. Knowing that I’m human and my feelings do matter and what I’ve been through as a child. I can validate my thoughts and feelings 💜

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@peggyoneill6115]

Thanks for your words . I have dealt with my past. God bless you and your family 🙏

[@DocSnipes]

Same to you! :)

[@jenniferbrown9301]

Every new parent should have to watch this video.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching!

[@mtbiker4life918]

This really hits home and explains so much. When parents are distant from their children they are setting them up as adults to be manipulated and used. This is why I will never get involved with a single parent ( even if society says it's fine).

[@damaris0980]

I've come a long, long way,........ watching this, made me realize that I still have a bit more to go.(I thought overcame this, but I guess not). Thank you for this! I appreciate knowing indepth what I have been feeling......Have wonderful day ❤️

[@HighSpeedNoDrag]

Amen and you made it this far, you will Make It the rest of the way.

[@angelstarxo]

I'm trying to heal, thank you 💙

[@DocSnipes]

You are so welcome

[@pure-pisces9470]

Same at 52

[@xenedraabourque1393]

Your video made me cry.... I didn't realize how much of this hit home with me.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@crystalmclaughlin9523]

Omg I love you u actually helped me with a few things regarding the wounded child I didn’t kno I had to be the one to reevaluate and enable a reaction i needed from the mother I never had and tbh without a emotional connection or proper physical without unwanted kinds my whole life and being out thru the ringer with now I kno, narcissistic grandma and mother with other addictive and mental health issues and severe poverty and sarcastic and cold and inaccurate ideas that have touted my life and it’s amazing what I’ve been seeeing at thirty three years old now, I love and appreciate u so much I’ve never gotten this help from anyone and or known I needd this, I can’t evr express what u mean to me, ur the mother and understanding I NEVR knew existed please don’t evr stop putting these videos out, I kno this will be a battle I can’t do alone. Ur voice soothes me and calms me and makes me feel safe.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@gabrielagabyrodriguez72]

Very clear and great examples. I shared it with my nieces and nephew so they can better understand their little brother who was abandoned

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for sharing!

[@polabear9710]

It is amazing how accurate you are.

[@cherylnathanodette]

I feel sorry for anyone who going through this, I lost both my parents before the age of 21,but thankfully they provided enough love in the time I had with them. Hopefully with time and love most people will overcome these issues.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@recoveringbaptist2023]

I'm 67 and have learned NEVER to trust ANYONE. All ppl are treacherous and have ulterior motives. I am so happy alone! Totally at peace and filled with joy.

[@1amG1G1]

Watching this while living it up, introvert style, in the woods and realizing my 'friends' are my own siblings 😭. Yikes.

[@1amG1G1]

@Jane Smith I agree. I consider making friends at times but then something happens that raises red flags. I attract people who take advantage and or have a hobby of gossip which gives me anxiety. I'm sorry for what you've endured. I'm sure it's shaped your relationship with your children for the better ❤️

[@miguelchippsinteligente6072]

Tesla referenced human energy 🌬👻jesus christ referenced living waters 💎👨‍🎓science described water memory 🌊🤵existence reflecting psychologically, psalms16:24 k,j 👻💎👨‍🎓🧮🤍🗽💖🗡🛡introverts 👩‍🎓⚖🌬🌪🧮☄

[@eligrace6707]

@@1amG1G1 ik exactly how you feel every person I have made friends with has just used my anxiety and insecurities against me and in the end just wanted me around for the benefits I had. It feels like these are the only friends I attract to just cut everyone off it was hard but I feel a little better now.

[@ann-sylvianalule305]

@G R I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. I'm a SUPER INTROVERT. My siblings are also my 'friends'

[@Myllkka]

Siblings can be your best friends in the world because they know you for real, so don't diminish that!

[@lostandfound3026]

I needed to hear this. You touch on many aspects of my childhood and how it’s hard as an adult. Thank you 🙏 for this information!!

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@demojones2958]

This makes me cry but it shed so much light on everything

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness. Thanks for watching.

[@iamwabisabi3711]

This is the most valuable video I have ever listened to. I didn't want it to end!!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and, happiness.

[@stellaricci7612]

Thank you so much. This is the only video on the internet that has been able to give me something to do that makes me feel hopeful that I can move on from my childhood and maybe have healthy relationships.

[@DocSnipes]

Great! Glad I could help. Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@foggycraw6758]

Everyone in my life has left me bc Im lonley which makes me feel even more lonely

[@teresawaid6088]

Me too

[@almt1486]

You are an excellent speaker. Concise and talk at a good speed. Enough to understand yet without waffling on.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate that. Thanks for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and, happiness.

[@rebeccalarson7995]

Abandonment seems to be something that we all can fear and I think that fear can cause us to not trust or to withdraw. I felt abandoned as a child by my mother, my father, and my step-mother. That abandonment felt like I was not loved. Now, that feeling wasn't the truth. My parents loved me the best they knew how. The lack of love came from myself because I felt that I wasn't worthy of love, so learning to love myself is how I was able to heal and that healing came from God. He taught me how to love myself and how to let go of the negative beliefs and emotions. It comes through forgiveness and acceptance just the way we are and the way they are and that boils down to love. Love God, love yourself, love others. You don't have to be perfect or act a certain way to be lovable.

[@Estella275]

Very true also living in Truth also helps.

[@bananian]

This is by far the most helpful insight I've had. My last therapist just tells me to day affirmation words while slapping my knees or something silly.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching! Glad it helped.

[@microbito66]

😂😂 please change therapists

[@Loos3scr3ws]

Im 28 years old I've been single for 7 years, and the girl I've been in love with finally loves me back and wants to be with me ,but now I keep self sabotaging and I ruin everything. I keep hurting the person I love the most and it fucking sucks and I'm trying soooo hard to change and figure out why I do this 😥 I don't wanna be like this anymore :(

[@Heyimthai]

You’re not alone I do this as well

[@DocSnipes]

I suggest you find a local, licensed counselor to help you. Wishing you peace, health and happiness.

[@carolcottle8157]

This is the best supply of info Doc. Not only clearly opened these abandonment issues but you have clearly both explained how, why and when then you have allowed us to see the big picture in each scenario and allowed to clear away all misinfo one has blindly held for a life time. Now I can look outwardly and no longer be subconsciously afraid. We are all affected human beings... Thank you for your valuable gift of sharing info.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.