TMC || Episode 5: Islamic Marriage Advice, Reminders and Warnings

In this episode, my guest, Umm Talha, shares Islamic marriage advice, reminders and warnings for current and future generations.
This was an honest one!
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www.hayatcoaching.com
If you would like to be better prepared for marriage, consider taking Sr Maryam Lemu’s Premarital Masterclass, an online course that takes an in-depth look at every aspect of preparing for marriage. Suitable for brothers and sisters. Check it out here: www.maryamlemu.com/link/8Byt3k
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The Marriage Conversation is a series dedicated to having honest, open conversations about marriage in the Muslim community, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Hosted by award-winning author, speaker and coach, Na’ima B. Robert, every episode contains a wealth of insight, wisdom, advice and Islamic reminders for Muslims who want to have successful marriages.
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[@muznarladha9094]

23.50 👏🏻 '' We often think grass is greener on the other side but the reality is Grass is green wherever we water it''

[@ashamohamed2627]

My husband always hates when I Express my thank u to him coz he feels like it's his duty, but still I say and show him how thankful iam for everything he does in the house.....

[@MuslimMama]

LOVE and GRATITUDE can be more useful in a marriage than those lonnnng logical discussions...

[@SativaSeanLasVegas]

FACTS.

[@cherryblossom6551]

I always look out for UmmTalhas episode on here mashAllah tabarakaAllah so productive amd useful. JazakumAllahukhairan to all of you

[@The-Zaynab]

Thank you is such a short but a powerful word for those who know how to use it well , doesn't even need to be in speech Yes we are made for each other but appreciation goes a long way Even Allah says, “…Anyone who is grateful does so to the profit of his own soul…” (31:12) “If you are grateful, I would certainly give you more; and if you are ungrateful, My chastisement is truly severe.” (14:7)

[@opocoyo]

This is so beneficial! Packed with gems JazaakumLlahu khieran

[@AM-ok2uv]

Masha'Allah tabarakaAllah.. Really insightful episode... JazakmuAllahu khairan

[@bintehaider5288]

Uf our women just stop watching stupid dramas and movies, and listen to such podcasts, things will turnout better, in shaa Allah. Jazakillah khair sistas❤️❤️❤️

[@haleemahsaida9772]

Arrogant much 🙄

[@supportingsistersuk2238]

Assalam u alailykum, I'm sorry I have to say here as someone who has also worked with women for many years, one of the first principles in counselling women or anyone is acknowledging their difficulty, their pain and working through it, to tell a woman coming to you with a problem to be grateful to a person that may be causing you hardship and pain is poorly thought out advice and shows your lack of depth and experience when dealing with marriage issues, gratefulness goes both ways and has to happen through both husband and wife, it's very likely that the husband is not grateful for all the wife is doing so both should be counselled in this. This is the sunnah that both should follow. Doing talks to a bubble of women doesn't always qualify you to give sound advice umm Talha. Please get some sound expertise in dealing with marital issues. And Naima b's reaction to that said it all, I raised my eyebrows too! The prophet SAW had emotional intelligence to a level beyond this and never overlooked the pain and hardship of others.

[@ibnadam9415]

This one 💯🌹

[@aminullah2902]

W Salam MashaAllah sweet 💕 princess we proud on you

[@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543]

Wait I just saw something like this on august 8th upload date... is this a copy?

[@QasimKhan-cb7ou]

The race is about to change the game

[@moniquestaley432]

As Salaamu alaykum. So my husband is outstanding, Alhamdulillah! I acknowledge him, I appreciate him. We have a good marriage. With all of that being said, am I being ungrateful for noticing where he can show more effort in spending quality time with the family, should I not bring it to his attention, just because he’s wonderful in other areas of taking care of the home?

[@majidkhan89]

Walaikum salaam, I don't think so. I think both of you should sit down and do a sense check on yourself and the marriage. See what you could do better in yourself as well in marriage. And share with your spouse your thoughts. Its important to communicate. Sometimes we are able to let go of little things, other times it just sticks around. And that feeling can turn in to something negative. So I think it's good your looking out for your husband and seeing how he can be better. Sometimes us men don't have that self awareness. We might think everything is OK, but there is still room for us to improve and be better. It's just that someone has to tell us in a nice, respectable way. With love and encouragement.

[@aminullah2902]

Assalamualaikum wr wbr sweet sisters and mams

[@SativaSeanLasVegas]

Roles are critical in marriage - but also, how you carry out those roles. The Man, provides and protects, my culture also dictates that he "not mention it" or "make it a burden, no more or less than being born with brown hair, it is what it is, and it's never going to be anything else". The Women, helps you to worship Allah(swt) and takes care of the home and the children under Islam Insha Allah. Sister Talha (respect to her husband) is correct, you both "share the load" in different ways. The problem working Muslim Men are facing is Muslim Women that want to have careers, and earn money; this is disharmonious to taking care of the home, not because money isn't useful but because you can't put a price on obedience to Allah (swt), where you wife works as a backstop, and raising children under Islam and keeping a peaceful home where the wife has full dominion. Therefore; high value Muslim men like myself who live perfectly at home(s_ with a high income, my sisters and mother do every bidding I request, and I attend sporting events with my brother, love time with my Muslim brothers during the week and Fridays at Jummah- and study and work constantly, it's just "too easy" to be a bachelor, and not worth the investment to attempt to be a husband. I don't want a working Muslima - my future children need a full time Niquabi to insure our legacy is worthy of the creators faith in me, I want a motherly Muslima, but do I need one? No? I leave it all to Allah (swt) to decide for me, but for now; either / or is fine. I will do well regardless.

[@hamidkarzai6500]

Ephesians 2:8 tells us God- through his grace- saves us by FAITH- a faith not worked up in the flesh, but which he implants in our hearts! And Ephesians 2:9 makes clear, that we CANNOT earn our ticket to heaven by our own works of fleshly righteousness- neither by being a good person, nor by any programme of religious works. If we could earn our own ticket to heaven, then we- sinful, wicked and fallen as we are- would get to heaven and boast to God that WE had earned our own way there, through our own righteousness- AND THIS GOD WILL NOT ALLOW! So- you CANNOT be saved by your own works; you cannot EARN your own ticket to heaven; you have to be saved by GOD’S OWN WORK- the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ at Calvary- you can ONLY get to heaven on the ticket Jesus bought for you by his atoning blood! And all your fleshly good works on earth will never expunge one tiny sin- per Hebrews 9:22, your sins can ONLY be washed away by blood- the sinless blood of the crucified Saviour! You can NEVER get to heaven by being good- firstly, because you ARE NOT good- you are wicked, sinful and fallen from cradle to grave; and SECONDLY- God is MORE than just good- he is 100% sinlessly perfect, so to get to heaven by being good, you must be MORE than just good- you must be 100% sinlessly perfect, and no man in history but Jesus Christ met that mark, no-one else comes close! As Jesus told us, the work of God is to believe on Jesus Christ, whom the Father sent- doing the religious works invented by Muhamad will not erase even one tiny sin, and will avail absolutely nothing to save you! You only have to look at the umma- three quarters of the Muhamadite lands are desperately poor Third World failed states- and then you will see the benefits his inventions bring to those who follow them!

[@Reem-ne7nn]

High value men do not declare that they are high value.

[@SativaSeanLasVegas]

@@Reem-ne7nn in depends on context; for picking up Women,..I agree, it's nonsensical because the value only matters to the women being picked up on and theirs 1,000's of preferences for claiming the ability to fund a home with children and take care of a wife for their lifetime it is completely appropriate..I am already doing it, and will continue to do so.

[@SativaSeanLasVegas]

@@Reem-ne7nn I fully fund my kidz, and two homes, and my mother and sisters and nieces (along wth my brothers) no woman until Allah (swt) sends me my Niquabi :)

[@Reem-ne7nn]

@@SativaSeanLasVegas You didn't get my point. True high value men do not brag about how high value they are. Just some advice there.

[@and.p.146]

what does she mean by confusion of roles? the example with the kitchen was confusing to me.... she wants to be in the kitchen, fine, but in other households men are better in the kitchen and the wife is better at something else, so they compliment each other. so confusion of roles sounds like to me that a man and a woman cannot switch roles? that does not sound right to me

[@Mark-go7qm]

Right is not about you. Are you muslim?

[@slaveofgod7921]

if your life partner is not helping you worship Allah better, do you than end it? what if he is decent , provides and maintains but cannot uphold the 5 pillars especially Salah?

[@halimatoudiallo1029]

what would you do if it was the reverse : he would pray, uphold the 5 pillars and especially the salah but wouldnt maintain and care for you financially and mentally? Don't get disheartened sister, pray for him that Allah swt put the love of upholding the deen in his heart. Allah swt is Generous and Keeps Giving when we keep asking.

[@The-Zaynab]

In this case then it is now your duty to keep telling him, keep reminding him, messages at work etc if no changes, have a conversation with him and remind him of the repercussions, send him Islamic text and messages on that topic. Let him see you as an example not only for 5 daily Salah, make nawafil, human tend to be impressed by our attitude if no changes, then report him to his respectable imam or sheikh and above all Ask Allah to put his taqwa in his chest

[@Reem-ne7nn]

Firstly, make lots of dua sis. Ask Allah to guide him. Make dua after every salah, make dua on jummah and the times when dua is most accepted. Tell him calmly that leaving off prayer is a major sin. Do not nag him, but gently remind him the importance and reason behind salah through video clips or books. Show him your good islamic behavior. Ask him if you can pray together, and make it a bonding time after. Play dhikr nasheeds and ruqya in the home. And like others said, see an imam too. All the best.

[@f.n.a5741]

@bettermuslimahwithzaynab, That's not her duty. Everyone is responsible for themselves and responsible for what Allah made them responsible for. Matter of fact it is the man's responsibility to guide his family members including his wife to worship Allah and teach his kids the deen. This idea that a woman can help a man to be a better Muslim is WRONG. Subhanalaah how many things can a woman do?! This is putting unnecessary pressure on a woman. If a man cannot fulfill the basic requirements to be a Muslim, it is no one else but HIS to work on himself and his eman.

[@The-Zaynab]

@@f.n.a5741 As a Muslim, even if we meet any Christian who is willing or have interest in our religion, it's our duty to put them through! If we don't? no sin and no pressure but if we do? more reward SubhanaLlah then when it comes to our own spouse , our better half, do you mean she should just continue to look at him? Will doing that be a kind of labour or 9-5 Job? What if it's vice versa, will he say because he is providing for the family and doing his duty so he can't put her through proper Islam? What you saying? Should that be a burden to us? because him not consistent in Salah is a burden and a disturb already so if he is doing it, that should be a relief This is not the time to start dividing responsibility.....

[@QasimKhan-cb7ou]

Don’t infect your gangster on my sister come correct

[@supportingsistersuk2238]

I'm sorry ..umm talha is far from a marriage expert as she is missing some basic points!