To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On

[@angelacarolinacasallas2741]

Heartbreak hurts so much because you have to grieve someone that is still alive

[@happyhippo4559]

That‘s it. You know they are still walking the earth, living their life and it often seems like it‘s so easy for them to move on while you are hurting and missing them so much.

[@lorraineleschinsky8616]

​@@happyhippo4559I'm going through it now

[@amocmom]

Yes, so true! This is exactly how I feel! Grieving since May after 30 years of marriage and learning of him cheating for 2 or more years 😢

[@JacquiQ]

SO SO hard. i said to him ..its like you/ve died but its worse in a lot of ways.

[@michellerose7591]

Totally agree,

[@melavery9210]

I am 3 weeks into a separation from my husband of 17 years. I needed this video.

[@palestar828]

How do you leave?

[@bharsanta5029]

Tc

[@SallyBowles5050]

I hope you’ll be ok. 🌷💖

[@thebatmom]

This hits home so much, the fantasy of them coming back in the future has kept me from letting go

[@llbailey9946]

@@thebatmom I totally relate!

[@xolantlangula422]

OMG , I relate so much. I am just glad I am not the only one but atleast I can now work through this fantasy

[@TWBarb]

It’s such a hard fantasy to let go of !!!

[@thebatmom]

@@TWBarb especially when you spent years with them. When you all figure out how to let go, please let me know.

[@thebatmom]

@@xolantlangula422 it sucks so much

[@brendahinson5266]

Mel, I am divorced, almost two years now, after a 40 year marriage. My heart is still so shattered and I am so stuck. This video has me sobbing. It seems impossible for me to move on. Thank you and Sawyer!!

[@roslynt1585]

Hi, I’m viewing from Melbourne Australia. I too have this headache at 58 after 40 years. It was during COVID. Completely and utterly blindsided, my husband simply uttered the words one Saturday morning in bed….i don’t want to be married anymore, I don’t want to talk about it, you need to accept it. That was it. I was so utterly shocked that I couldn’t respond, it was an out of body experience truly. Once he left , I was alone, couldn’t go anywhere due to strict lockdown restrictions…..his family disconnected. I seriously do not know how I made it to today. He wanted a new life apparently, a new persona, a new older partner . I have only the opportunity to see and talk with him 3 times for no longer than 15 minutes, a time broken , sobbing begging to try and make sense of what he has done. There was No opportunity for closure. No processing as to why. No thank you for 40 years of adoring him. I’m still very broken 3 years later. I will never get over how poorly he treated me, never. Anyway….tomorrow is another day. I wish us both happiness , health, peace . sending you hugs and love ❤

[@jinyinyangseer1542]

You got this❤

[@fetabrown]

Live energy to you. We are made to withstand this. 💪

[@debraquinn6751]

Same.

[@nicksterp2805]

Sending you love and light. Once you love being on your own, you'll never look back. Get a pet!

[@AlchemyByNature369]

Gosh, Mel, what a world it would be if we all had had mom's that could help us actually get through life mindfully. Amazing mother-daughter connection💖 beautiful! Thank you🌻

[@llbailey9946]

totally!!!! That moment was a jolt, that I have never, and will never, know that comfort. Any time anything happened to me, my bio-birther would just yell or worse at me, blaming me for my own suffering or her narcissistic "how this makes her look" LOL obsession... Her BS was not my fault, however learning to support myself with other resources now IS my Response-ability... argh, the words are so easy LOL.

[@lanel04]

I echo this so much.

[@carlyreigel510]

❤❤❤❤

[@diverdan601]

@@llbailey9946 I have a mother like that too. She has zero empathy for me and everything is always negative. I am going through a devastating break up right now and I feel so isolated, so I reached out just to talk and hopefully maybe get some empathy and understanding. But nope. She changed the subject and asked me what kind of Jell-O I made for Thanksgiving. So I called her on it and I said oh, so you’re not able to show any sort of empathy to your grieving daughter? And she replied, well, I know that anything I say will just probably make you mad or hurt your feelings. So I replied, why would you feel the need to go to judgment, rather than empathy? I’m not asking you to solve my problems and I’m not asking you to pass judgment on what you feel like the relationship was like. I’m just wanting you to connect with me as a mother to a daughter and try to feel some compassion for what I’m going through. But what I realized with my mother is it that is never going to happen. And I have to just accept it and let her and I will let myself be distant from her from now on. I am no longer going to reach out to her or call her because it’s pointless.

[@janetvanantwerp8899]

I second that! Instead when I told my mother I thought I needed to divorce my husband in 2001, her response was: “you can’t do that, he is the father of your children!” No discussion. So I stayed with him….and 11 yrs later he decided he wanted something else.

[@sonynathaniel8484]

I am a licensed psychotherapist in CA. I often refer your podcasts to my clients. Your approach and humility is so genuine. This one is great, especially during the holiday season when many advertisements about gifts and rings being exchanged can make one feel so lonely. Thank you for another great podcast. Much appreciated.

[@dituwehsadi2784]

Breakup is the hardest thing to face, especially when there’s no one support you poll through it. Thank you for sharing .

[@CarrieBellCoaching]

It’s so true-breakups can feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world alone. What most people don’t realize, because heartbreak affects your nervous system the way it does, it doesn’t just hurt-it rewires how we see ourselves, our worth, and even our future. But like Mel and Sawyer so beautifully spoke to, and what is absolutely true: it’s also an invitation to rebuild, to grow stronger than you ever thought possible. I’ve seen it happen over and over, and have absolutely been there myself. Rest assured, healing takes time, and even on the toughest days, brighter days are always ahead.

[@jaretmushka]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😂😂😂🎉🎉😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😮😮😮😅😅😅😊😊😊😊❤😊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂😂😂😊

[@andziagreen4922]

Acurate conclusion

[@stepht2782]

Agree, people are busy with their own families, esp when your older and circle has diminished

[@Dana-l6n5b]

The only thing that has helped me is when I made a list of everything he did that upset me and hurt me. I read and reread that very long list when I start missing him or when the sadness or emptiness hits . Reading that list and rethinking the betrayals and the lies, all the other women he chose over me, all the canceled dates, excuses, all the gaslighting, all the nice things he did for other women etc really helped me realize I stayed too long and gave too many chances . That all motivated me to try away from him, to next time see the red flag warnings I ignored, to promise myself to do better next time and that I wasted so much time on him. I was actually mad at myself ! But it’s what I needed to start the healing process. Let another woman have him. I know I deserve so much better. I slept a lot too and watched tv, I was emotionality and physically exhausted. But it’s getting better . Watching you tube like this helps a lot too.

[@amyb1689]

I’ve done that too but my brain still misses him and thinks of all the good times. May I ask how long it’s been? Looking for some hope.

[@stepht2782]

Im in a similar boat, lost fiancé, future step son i helped raise for 5 yrs, our home, family

[@eusou1azar]

@@amyb1689just remember that everyone’s healing process is different. I’m currently on the same boat and it’s been 9 months for me. Don’t be harsh on yourself

[@noracurcio7910]

After being in a terrible process of not letting go and on and off all in all for 8 years, I met the best man of my life! I met him before, but there my energy was in the old pattern. I met him after I worked on my self love and worthiness. So I could meet him in this energetic field. This was two years ago. And now I am 60 😊…. It is never too late to find the biggest love in your life! Even I am sorry a bit beeing that old, I know I had to understand myself in order to move on. ❤

[@marissa4699]

Thank you for sharing your age. It’s inspirational that one can still find love at any age. As women, we feel that once we get to a certain age that we won’t be able to find love again because our society only values youth.

[@crystalmorrison1539]

Im in the same situation, working on self-love and worthiness, because I know I have to fix myself first to find the love that I deserve. Thanks for the inspiration that I can❤❤

[@summerof6734]

@@noracurcio7910 you are an inspiration! Thank you for showing me that there is hope as long as we work on learning to love and value ourselves first.

[@vz16881981]

Thank you Mel and Sawyer. I really needed this episode. I'm 43 and just ended a two month relationship where the love bombing was intense. I truly felt as though I'd met the love of my life until their true colors started showing. It's hard to get out of bed these days but I've been pushing through. This episode gave me hope.

[@TWBarb]

I’m 43, too. I was love bombed by someone who I’ve known since we were 14. It broke me. I am stronger now, it’s been 8-9 months and I solidly in my own life I will never let someone play me like that again. Ever again. I deserve respect and so do you. Hang in there !! We Got this

[@charlottewagstaff3107]

Having being divorced following a 25 year relationship, a few years later I had a 2 year relationship and was completely love bombed! Awful experience and I managed to end it. I met someone a few months ago and I’ve now realised that the love bombing has reared its ugly head - thankfully I saw the signs !

[@janetrobinson2699]

You are going to realize you dodged a huge bullet!! I wish I had dodged one. Instead, I was married to a manipulative, unfaithful, toxic narcissist for 30 horrible years. What a waste! Glad you have avoided it!! 😊

[@kawanclinton950]

2 months isn't a relationship. It's dating. Get to know a person and take your time.

[@matthewgangne1324]

Hey Sawyer. Thank you so much for sharing your story and participating in this interview. It was so very brave of you to share your most raw emotions and struggles you endured in your breakup. I believe it sincerely helped everyone that listened to your story to know that they are not alone when they feel the severe and crushing emotions when experiencing their own breakup (me included). I was moved to tears during many parts of this interview... Thank you again. Take good care.

[@jillcorsiglia5796]

I so agree on all counts❤🙏🏼

[@monicaprado2890]

I wish I had a Mom to talk to about heartbreak. You are blessed. Thank you Mel for being our mom.

[@PeterNotSoWhite]

As an indigenous person from North America I know of some tribes when they lose a loved one. They put away all their photos they have of them, they don’t speak their name either for a year. It allows them to grieve and heal, while allowing that loved one move on also.

[@dawnettahumphrey]

I was married for 19 years and the seperation and divorce was one of the hardest things I had to go through, the mourning makes sense after hearing this.

[@candygirl1990]

Just gone through this after being love bombed. I am alone and it's over. I am going to take better care of myself, good food, vitamins, and take your time. Sawyer is amazing and so inspiring. Mel you are amazing ❤

[@MarilynAllison-on2wi]

Hold your head high, Gain self respect, pat yourself on the back. drink lots of water, exercise, eat right, This too Will Pass.

[@JaneMosgrove]

Pivotal: processing it is NOT moving on and it's not closure. I love that. Makes sense why I'm still hurting from it even after a year. I've processed but haven't found full closure yet.

[@scottyb.8710]

I’m in the exact same position. Almost 5 years together, and she left a year ago. Barely any contact for the first 11 months, but for the past few months, she’s reached out quite a few times. That made things extremely difficult, and behaviors that don’t align with her words didn’t help. That said, I’ve processed all of it, and I understand why she does what she does, and I understand the chances of a relationship working should it be rekindled?

[@Rico-RR]

Super valuable episode 💯 “To live is to suffer, but to survive is to find meaning in the suffering”

[@JacquiQ]

im going through this now after 38 years together...beyond devastated. I said to him "Its like you have died but its almost worse" ...cos he is still alive. It is def a grief. It is like a death. We were going to grow old together and be buried together . I bawl my eyes out every day. throughout the day I know his reasons are kosher but emotional part of me is so heart broken. Its this continual logic brain vs emotional brain roller coaster everyday. Thank u ladies !

[@annettegoze9430]

This pod cast is comforting to me. My husband of 60 years died 30 days ago. I’m grieving and trying to make sense of this process. Thank you for the kind and gentle advice. ❤

[@melrobbins]

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, Annette, I know that must be tough. I'm glad that you found this episode helpful and I'm sending you so much love and support ❤xo

[@claire0626]

A big hug from the UK 🦋🩷

[@user-dm9kw1pp3y]

What a lovely daughter you have, so mature, and reflective. At 55 yo she taught me so much.

[@marguskiis7711]

Simp

[@sandraalston7863]

Yes, a beautiful daughter ❤

[@theLanceInPants]

There's often such a massive disconnect when people try to advise others that are brokenhearted because the timing is never right. Everyone's break up is different, they process it at different speeds and really just need time to themselves to reflect. Sure, it's nice to have someone to vent to, but at the end of the day, the demon is within you. You have to do the self-realignment and face reality. You have to rebuild yourself and let go of the past. The best thing someone can do for their friend going through a break up is just be present with them, reassure them of the good qualities you see in them that they are struggling to find in self-loathing, guilt, overanalyzing every little interaction they may have messed up. Help them go through all the emotions of their loss and just let them know they're not alone. Can't be all bad if the world ends and there's at least one person in your corner.

[@user-wb7ks4mn6x]

I am so glad I stumbled on this channel! I am in my 60s and going through what your daughter is going through . Doesn’t matter what age you are!!! Now… it has been 2 months … just starting to feel better . I have done EVERYTHING your daughter did ,30+ days , took golf lessons, etc. Funny hiw life is… thought at my age no one would want me! WOW was I wrong! There is someone who is my age ,met at work , AND lives around the corner from me … taking it slow , but never give up on yourself…

[@travelwithsouthernchick5112]

Listen to me been married for 17 years and yes you will need a good support system! The pain is real and the feeling of embarrassment and anger will be there! I thought I was going to go under! Once I accepted it got out of disbelief I could move forward! And yes counseling helps. Yes you will make it give yourself time to heal. Much ❤to anyone who is dealing with heartbreak

[@DaintyAbby]

Yes.. making a list of the bad things he did to me helped.. but the one that helped the most is watching videos of other women talking about their break-ups. Knowing that im not alone.. and relating to a lot of what those women were saying in their videos relieved me of a lot of pain. Especially when i found myself rooting for those women.. im like, wait, this applies to me too.

[@AGMonz]

I’m only 30 mins in and I’m sobbing! This hits home. My heart is broken and I’m lost.

[@gjin141]

I was crying about 3 minutes in. It's so profound!

[@jillcorsiglia5796]

My ex had trust issues before I met him, and throughout our entire two year relationship 💔 There was no amount of my effort of loving him that made him see my devotion or value. He kept pushing me away until I finally went away💔 He moved on in 3 days with someone new it broke my heart to no end that we couldn't make it work💔 I have spent the last 10 months processing the let them theory &I don't want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with me. He was everything I ever wanted but he didn't want me.💔 I appreciate your advice of remembering Love of our lives is just ahead of us not behind us. Thank you both for your time sharing and caring God bless ❤🤤🙏🏼🌹

[@RPK1633]

Mel you have to be so proud of your daughter. I said out loud two or three times, “ how does she know this stuff at 22 years old!” Wow, she’s a smart woman ❤ i needed to hear this podcast 30 years ago! Thanks so much for bringing this topic to all of us!!

[@lisapost9088]

I really needed this. My ex broke up with me after my sister died. Double grief!! It’s been the most challenging yet insightful year of my life! Thank you. ❤

[@dianea9765]

Wow...I just went through the same experience...

[@lisapost9088]

@ my heart goes out to you. ❤️‍🩹

[@barbarawiacek6557]

1:09:24 "Spark is about attraction. True love is about admiration and consideration." Thank you Mel Robbins. That was gold.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

There’s a lot of peace being alone. It’s so much better

[@denisearonow4921]

Yes, after healing from the breakup, however long it takes it is peaceful on the other side. I'm fine alone.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

well each situation is different but I’m in a very violent situation/community area. I’ve tried moving and came back still violent. My daughter’s dad does not get it. I get threats all the time from my family, his friends he’s part of their gang. It does not change every decade and they just became more violent over time

[@marguskiis7711]

Why you here at all?

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

@@marguskiis7711 wtf

[@josevillamar7462]

How kind and vulnerable of you two to host this episode to help so many during a difficult time. Thank you!

[@mirnamestrovic479]

Mel over the years I've watched and listened to many of your episodes. This one with Sawyer is my favourite at this moment in time. I have so much admiration for Sawyer's vulnerability and your relationship with her. Few weeks ago I have ended my long term relationship and I am a mother of three and with my oldest teen daughter one day I will probably have similar conversation. I will remember this episode and come back to it, share it with my loved ones when it's time. You have truly touched my soul and this is the best way I could have spent the evening in your comforting company. Thank you so much Sawyer and Mel!

[@StaceyDesroches]

WOW, I feel this SO DEEPLY. It's only been about 4 months out of a 6 year relationship for me and it hurts, but this is super helpful, thank you! 💜The part about their personality and voice being kind of "wired" into your nervous system made a lot of sense as to why we still hear them in our minds and feel them, etc. It also helps me understand why it's so hard to let go more than just holding onto the fantasy. I believe in energy and if you share that space with someone in an intimate relationship for a long period of time it makes sense your energies will become "entangled or intertwined" as you said. I just never really thought about it before now as to why that would make the break up and letting go all that much more difficult. Thank you for this Mel and Sawyer!

[@shanlam12459]

It’s also so important to note that when she talked about the on and off again in a previous relationship .. I experienced that too and can say I never let happened again to such a degree. And also deleting the social media helps so much…. Shit is so toxic

[@amyb1689]

I’m at 7 months and feel like the heartache has become worse since October knowing the holidays wouldn’t be the same. I usually love Xmas. I’m just going through the motions. I am speaking with my therapist weekly and my depression is making me feel hopeless. I am not losing hope and really resonated with this. I just don’t know if I will ever find someone again and that terrifies me. The person I love, left.

[@envision_embody_become]

I needed this so badly. It’s been 5 months since we split and I still haven’t gotten over him. Thank you. This helped. So much. ❤

[@elevatewithsusie]

Five months can feel like an eternity, but it’s also just a chapter in your journey. Here’s a perspective that might help: this isn’t just about getting over him-it’s about rediscovering you. When a relationship ends, it can feel like a part of your identity is missing, but this is actually an invitation to rebuild your self-concept. Your self-concept is how you see yourself, and it’s the foundation for every relationship in your life-including the one with yourself. Ask yourself: Who am I without this relationship? What version of me do I want to step into now? Start taking small, intentional steps to embody that version of you-the one who feels confident, whole, and radiant. The truth is, you’re not just “getting over” him; you’re stepping into a new season of you. The more you focus on elevating your self-concept, the less space there will be for the pain. You’ve already made it five months, and that’s powerful. Keep going-you’re stronger than you think. ❤

[@Nomsa_C]

He took her on a trip a week ago and lied about it. And it was not the first or third time. 6 years down and the trust is gone. Thank you for this podcast Mel and Sawyer. This is soothing my heart as I pick up my life and move on without him

[@MichaelHunneyman-j9z]

Mel Thanks for doing this podcast because i needed to hear this. You hit on the nail when you said you have to greive the separation just like when you lose a loved one

[@rachaelsmith7646]

I stumbled upon this podcast and I’m glad I did but it also hit me hard in the heart and soul 😢. I’ve been trying to leave my narcissistic boyfriend over and over again for literally years. It’s critical for my physical and mental health to get away from this person. The explanation you ladies gave about the chemical and physiological bond that we have when we’re in relationships really helped me as I start my journey of trying to really break this trauma bond once and for all. Sawyer thank you for sharing your very personal experience and I can relate in so many ways that it brought tears to my eyes. I’m reorganizing my room right at this moment as I finish listening to this. Thanks again Mel and Sawyer

[@lauriemcnab9855]

At some point i realized I was the only person who really cared about MY happiness. I began to think about what would make me happy...what gives me joy. Long story short, i moved to Seattle, enjoyed the northwest. I found how to care for my happiness....it was a great thing i did for me. I did not so much love myself....but I did SHOW myself love and kindness.

[@shewhome]

Im almost 2 years past my separation and imminent divorce from a 15 years relationship. Im glad this video came out now. 2 years ago i would not have been able to believe a word said in this podcast. I wasn't there yet..now 2 years later with distance,therapy, lots of work on myself, learning to love myself, love and understanding from my support system i can attest that it does get better. The pain may always live within you but each day does get better. One day at a time ❤

[@thebatmom]

This is mind blowing, the explanation on why it hurts so much and how embedded they had become in your daily life on such a deeper level then just a heartbreak. I feel like I'm dying every day, woo many questions unanswered, I also know that all the memories I have are not the memories he has. The songs that remind me of him or us, he doesn't have for me, I need to move on, but honestly I don't want to.

[@donnagilbert1039]

I wish I had this last year…I understand now that I was grieving..thank you for this.

[@amandabailey4896]

Thank you both for sharing! I cannot tell you how many times I have said “Let Them” in the last week... So now to go through “My Processing” and accept reality. 💜 I can’t wait to read your new book Mel!

[@JennBen34]

You don’t know how much I needed this right now. It’s been three months that I was the one who dumped him not because I wanted to, but because I needed to and he is an amazing man which makes it even harder. Exactly 10 minutes into this when Sawyer Was describing how she feels… That is exactly me. I will continue listening and I know this is going to help me a lot thank you both! Love from Quebec

[@Karmeon1982]

Sawyer, thank you so much for trusting us enough to share your story!

[@staejaye1910]

Same

[@LazyDaisyDay88]

I respect your daughter being honest about her own experiences. I don't underestimate how hard that must be. I'm a very private person and cannot imagine opening up like that. But this was very helpful - and I needed it especially today. TY.

[@desertbluesplaylist7550]

Big thanks to you both for this, Sawyer's honesty and openness about how much her breakup hurt, and the advice you give us here is pure gold ✨🙏🏼❤

[@JD-hb9zu]

Thank you for this and being so honest. I personally believe that only people who went through the same pain and healed from it, can help others overcome the same trauma. The love of my life broke up 2 months ago after almost 18 years, it was an amazing relationship for 15 years and then it went so wrong, he cheated, lied, got cold to me, we fought every day , yet we still tried to fix it for years after that until he suddenly broke up. The hard thing is we still live together at the time, him minding his own business, me only focusing on him. Having complete closer will be hard for the longest time cause I will have to see him almost everyday. We have too many mutual hobbies and friends. It's even harder letting go when you are confronted with him every day and see how he's going on with his life with my own eyes. I hope in a year I can manage it and feel better.

[@RaeleneAnthony]

Hi Sawyer. I have experienced heart break in the past. Had this of been available then it would have made all the difference. I’m in a completely different place now but years ago this would have really helped. Nice work sharing your authentic, honest story & utilising the platform you have to “reach” people. To give and to help. Impressive and kind. Much love Raelene

[@Jenlop777]

What an amazing relationship you have!! I love your daughter! What a character!! Reminds me of me and my mum who I’ve just lost last year! Loved this and so inspirational- the fantasising is soooooo true!

[@kez-chick5647]

I was married 38 yrs, I’m so happy I went to a psychologist, so much help, my worst time was , I dreamt about him every night, cried all day, I was exhausted, it was like I couldn’t get away from him.. What you both said, so so spot on. Was lovely to see mother and daughter talking about this , thank you ❤

[@greg4712]

I still dream about her 1 year on

[@megantimberman8218]

I too have dreams

[@NoBSAffiliateCoaching]

Thank you for bringing us the best information to be not only the best version of ourselves but advice and encouragement and you are like my mum I never had and best friend I wish I had. You’ve helped me build my confidence. Work out my late diagnosis ADHD Move past breakups. Believe and motivate myself. Build my own online Empire. The list goes on. I’ve finally got out of an abusive family and am moving. And to them - “Let them” - my words “Fk them”! So Mel Robbin’s you are THE GOAT.

[@Tleho]

I am 4 weeks into my break up, I was actually ghosted 😢and working through the acceptance of never getting the closure. I think I am doing better than I anticipated. Thank you for sharing these great tools, I have already been implemented most of them. First time I hear of the “let them” theory and I am going to incorporate it into my healing journey.

[@pamelaryan8753]

Omg! Our son is about to do this!!! And yes, as parents we are mourning…he is waiting till he’s done with his finals….sigh We so need to hear this, thank you

[@geniefrances6904]

I could not have come across this podcast at a better time. Thank you both! My six year long relationship that was toxic/narcissistic recently, and necessarily, ended.. I have been three weeks no contact. Thank you for clarifying the importance of untethering the multifaceted bonds that take place (yes, even in a toxic relationship I have experienced this). Sawyer’s candor and compassion is remarkable, and inspiring beyond words. Experience is our best teacher. Communicating this with compassion, humanity Will no doubt help and encourage others 💜🙏💫

[@ronni6346]

Greetings from Australia - Wow what a GREAT Podcast. So many of us needed this right now. Everything you say is spot on. We need to grieve regardless of their situation. I believe after grieving the breakup we become stronger for ourself and not only that. We learn what we want in our life. For me that is the freedom to be myself and enjoy life to its fullest. Thank you so much Mel and Sawyer you both are very inspiring. I admit I was teary during the podcast. I had to pause it then go back to it. We all deserve love in our life. But loving ourself first is important.

[@kimwalkermitchell6199]

I just went through a breakup recently. These were great tools. Thanks Mel and Sawyer. Awesome video.

[@KINGLOWNESS]

Great perspective!!! Now i just need to watch this on repeat... Been going through the "process" for over 2 years.

[@MilagrosCruz-x1k]

Wow, I wish I had this wonderful tools and knowledge 4 years ago. It would have been much easier to go through all the grieving and pain, but thank God I was able to survive the horror I went through. I pre-order your book, let them I can't wait to read it. 30 days rule is hard to fallow when the person who hurt you kept showing up, but it was up to me to avoid the contact, very soon I realized that, my ex didn't want me to get over her and that all she wanted was to keep me grieving. I changed for myself and I'm sure that I have to become the kind of person I want to attract into my life. And stying single, it's been the most wonderful thing that has happened to me in many years. Thank you.

[@boldbeautybanks499]

Sawyer’s vulnerability is admiring. Thank you for sharing ❤

[@usersss100]

30 days...60 days and now probably over 120 days. the pain is still there. the desire to wish they are still there still pops up. the wish to tell them how i feel is still there though less often. but yes, over these few months, i learn alot and somethings starts to make sense. Thanks Mel for the talk with Tais Gibson. that really helped. And this video popped up as I was feeling down again today. does it get better, yes it did. let them...let them. the driving force behind my "let them" is i want her to be happy even if it meant without me. i hope whoever is going thru the same feeling will get better with time. learn to unlearn and untangle the lifestyle we had and adopt a new one. it takes time...

[@brendaanderson4972]

Thank you so much! ♥️ I loved this!! ♥️♥️♥️ Watching you and your daughter was a mix between a therapy session and gitls talking about how hard relationship break up really is. There were so many things that resonated with me ... Thank you both! 🥰

[@KimHarvey-cy5ji]

I used this advice about no contact. I finally did it for a year and then another yr. I was the one always calling him. Very empowering controlling your impulses. It does get better!!

[@SherylJones-b5r]

This podcast has helped me tremendously. I have been in no contact for a month after my boyfriend told me that he was contemplating going back to his ex-wife after we were in a 3 year relationship. I plan to stay in no contact. Thanks

[@SunflowersandSunshine22]

"True Love...Consideration & Adoration" ❤ absolutely love that Mel ❤ great conversation. This should be conversation that is taught in every school. So important.

[@charliebuchanan5996]

What a beautiful relationship you have with each other. Thank you for your wisdom and generosity of spirit xx

[@tocandofondoconclaudia]

Sawyer you made me cry when you said I wish he had reaching out but he didn’t… it is so hard to kill our hope. Thanks for share your vulnerability. Make me feel I am not the only crazy person that I am still can’t accept I will not see him again in my life or he is not going to be the father of my kids. It is so so hard in my case after 8!years of relationship with the love of my life accept I should not reaching out again to him or knowing how he is going. I can accept the breakup but it is so hard accept that you should kill the necessity of knowing that your ex partner is ok. Sometimes you just want to know if he is ok. Still working on it after more than one year without see him and almost 2 years of the original break up. This episode make feel I am not alone. Thanks ❤

[@GaelleTokyo]

Already more than 3 months in when I saw the video so it would probably have been different if it had been right after but I still have a lot of lingering thoughts and pains and this got me straight out of it. What helped me the most was Swayer describing the crazy thoughts that go through our minds. The hope that one day in 5, 10 years we bump into each other. The addiction to the pain and voluntarily making up sad fantasy to make myself feel sad. Remembering all the good moments and forgetting all the times he was awful. Loved it ! Thank you !!!!!

[@zullybella597]

I still remember her in 2022 she looks great healed you learn some things on your self but you are lucky to have a supportive family you’re mother what a beautiful relationship don’t let anyone tell you to start dating until you’re healed emotionally you will feel it.

[@katherineveras1577]

I have a serious obsession with Mel! So relatable! By the way, I'm 36 years old divorced 4 years ago, with 2 kids recently broke up with my boyfriend after 2 years, moved in my parents while my mom goes through cancer for the 2nd time! You can't the only one Sawyer don't feel weird about living with your parents. I'm seriously losing my mind! 😅

[@Towardsthewithin8877]

I’m 38 and after my last breakup, I’m still living in my parent’s house which makes the grieving process way harder. Pure madness.

[@HotTamaleez]

Had to go no contact with my narcissistic family whom I had been extremely close with my entire life at 46. Many of these tools still apply. Many similarities to a divorce.

[@janebraun4482]

Yes, same here a bit, the family I was closer too passed away, so the ones left very complicated but they are all I have.

[@NoBSAffiliateCoaching]

I feel for her. I know heartbreak to well and I’m so happy there is a survival guide on this

[@bevtalley]

Thank you sooo much Mel and Sawyer for this🥰

[@sao6447]

This was a very hard podcast to go through, but I would love to thank you for spending your time to give birth to this podcast, I believe it will help a lot of people, and for I heard stuff that might help me in my following few weeks :)

[@JenniferRodriguez-zy5nd]

Mel this is so incredibly real and so relatable. To Soyer I am going through a break up from a 10’yr relationship which feels like a divorce and all things you talk about just with in the first 15 minutes I absolutely do! Thank you for your bravery and sharing this is soooo helpful. God bless you both, I truly needed this!

[@jenniferduhaime8482]

Pure effective help for a life altering emotional injury, thank you

[@leececilia70]

Very much needed episode. I’m going through the worst break up of my life right now

[@punahele2127]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I never thought I would go through this feeling in my 50’s and not easy. The guy i need to let go is my colleague so I can’t do 3 months no see him or hear him. But listening your experiences I let myself go easy on me and let him flirt with new girl he likes. Let them! Thank you two for sharing this healing process ❤

[@claireSE16]

It’s grieving for the person and also the hopes and dreams for your future fun and adventures that has died as well .

[@shanlam12459]

Im experiencing one of the worst heartbreaks . It’s really weird because this dynamic never happened to me before. Usually I’ve gotten over someone pretty quickly. This situation is basically unrequited love and I guess swallowing my ego and my feelings to a big degree. I am grieving. But it’s more so the shame and embarrassment of developing feelings when I knew better. But sometimes we don’t have control of that and I would say maybe he knew better too and took advantage at a certain point. I’m not sure but I just have to actually let go but the anxiety is crazy. Thank you for this podcast.

[@LazyDaisyDay88]

Thank you for sharing that - I'm in that same scenario. Add humiliation to the grief and its a horrid place to be right now.

[@terrik.5325]

This was beautiful, and very educational a lot of great facts! Thank you❤

[@catherineboudreau3661]

I just ended a really difficult relationship with someone who cheated on me and lied to me all the time. I gave him a second chance and I hoped he would change. Despite all the negative, the good memories always remain and that's what hurts terribly. Thank you very much for this podcast which helps me feel less alone. 🙏🏻

[@denisearonow4921]

It's not quite the same as losing someone through death because "your person" leaves you by choice. Horrible.

[@Karmeon1982]

Yeah. I am widowed and it’s difficult in a different way. But, as messed up as it sounds, I think it would hurt worse(also in a different way) if he did it bc he didn’t love me anymore.

[@Lyddiebits]

It is a huge grief, either in death or in life. We aren't here to compare our pains, but see the similarities 💔💙💔

[@denisearonow4921]

@@Lyddiebits Oh wow, you've got it all figured out!

[@patriciarivera905]

I really needed to hear that "it's going to be okay" 😢 Thank you 🙏❤

[@melrobbins]

It IS going to be okay, Patricia. Sending you SO much love ❤xo

[@patriciarivera905]

@melrobbins Thank you so very much 🫶🙏

[@Lkay4867]

No contact INDEFINITELY whenever possible 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@marines6624]

I am in my second week of letting that person go. It’s been difficult but please keep me on your prayers because I miss that person but I need to move forward

[@aprilwilcox5065]

I thoroughly enjoyed and identified with this video....I was doing these steps unknowingly on my own...I was very trauma bonded to my ex-husband.....I'm divorced a year now and started this process 3 months ago because we were still very much staying in each other's lives and I knew it had to stop for my own health and sanity. I'm now starting to feel mentally free but know I still have a ways to go and this video will be my guide

[@JustynaGorka]

Mel, it's nearly a year since he walked out on me. I got used to no contact or nearly none,but the news that he got married to a woman who he met few months before broke me inside. Like all that hope and imagination of us ending up together some day just burst like a buble 😢💔😭

[@PamelaColor]

Sawyer, you're so blessed to have your Mum in your life❤❤❤

[@nettadebeer9936]

Such a wonderful video…I said to my daughter..his not worth it..forget him…you are too good for him He will never get someone like you ever again… same let’s make a photo shoot and put it on social media… What a kind of mother am I....oh my goodness….thank you so much for this..truly appreciated 🙏🏻

[@outtatheashez6636]

I think everyone has different coping mechanisms. different ways of dealing with breakup heartache and let down. I personally am the type of person that knows that everything happens for a reason so when something does happen I stay strong knowing god is by my side and I really appreciate my dear friends who build me up speak truth into me about loving myself self-care and reminding me that I will get through this and something is better on the other side 🙏🙏🙏

[@shanonwagner3525]

My daughter went through a break up today year. I wasn’t sure if I handled it correctly. So I just would climb in th bed with her and cry with her. So excited for this video. My heart just broke for her!

[@monicalambert1530]

Same here. Brutal breakup for my daughter, and I just ached for her. Brought back memories of my own breakups. It has been three months now and she has handled it beautifully. I think the time has given her an understanding that he was not the one for her.

[@Chris-w7e]

I have been single for years and have not experienced problems from it. There are benefits like doing what you want when you want.

[@toniradloff6445]

Where have you been all my life ❤️.. “Let Them & Love Yourself” I am on the road to recovery ❤️❤️❤️( in every sense)

[@stepht2782]

And this application intensifies when your older. I see people alone with no one in hospitals nursing homes.. So when some of us see what can be, without really knowing your path, adds to the complexity.

[@johnaspaes]

Thank you very much for sharing!!! I am going through it now 😢. God bless all of us!!! ❤

[@NesteaRawks]

This episode didn't come at the best moment for me, I just went through one and the fact I could relate to everything in this episode. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable 🙌🏼💗

[@lynneMarie32257]

My break up happened four months ago and I can totally relate to what Sawyer went through. I've been on the floor weeping so hard I didn't think I could stop. But the one thing that has helped me more than anything is something you didn't mention or even hint And that is turning to God for help praying and asking him to heal my broken heart and bring peace back into my life instrumental in helping me to move on. It's saddens me that you don't remind your listeners of their higher power and how he can deliver us through our biggest pain and teach us our greatest lessons.