Police Throw Temper Tantrum with 5-Year-Old | Kevin Christmon and Dionne Holliday Case Analysis

This video answers the question: Can I analyze the case of Kevin Christmon and Dionne Holliday?
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[@scarn3241]

5 years old … the adults involved in this are disgraceful

[@ashleyvestal9030]

Agree totally, but a 5 year old assaulted my 4 year old daughter in the early 90's and left permanent disfigurement. There has to be a better way to deal with such children. They need intense psychiatric intervention.

[@Masterho310]

@@ashleyvestal9030 That escalated quickly...

[@brigidspencer5123]

No kidding! I have worked with many children and adolescents with special needs that includes traumatized children. Children learn to regulate their emotions from the adults around them. I have no empathy for these incompetent cops or the adults who don't seem able to handle an upset 5 year old, including the mother. This school must be staffed by idiots.

[@jaymike3302]

They can yell at me for $275,000. Even at age 5 I'd know that was a good deal.

[@fighterflight]

@@ashleyvestal9030 this child didn’t hurt anyone

[@everwhat013]

i love how the mom was going along with the cops, encouraging them, saying she wishes she could beat him and get away with it. then she got dollar signs in her eyes.

[@kingdele01]

That was exactly what I thought! Money would make people sing a different tune really quickly.

[@cantfindmykeys]

It seems that she is too passive and can't deal with much of anything, so she follows any suggestion offered in a difficult situation. Probably the reason her kid is a monster. Some children are well behaved and others will take advantage of a passive adult and she probably filed the lawsuit after yet again being persuaded by somebody with a backbone. I remember growing up and discovering that the most difficult children were ones with a primary caregiver that didn't take control of whatever situation was at hand. My mother never disciplined us and was basically oblivious and agreeable to anything we said or did. We were monsters. My sister is still a monster but my brother and I grew out of being spoiled brats. Giving children carte blanche and not disciplining them isn't the best method. Neither is beating them. You need to find an acceptable middle ground.

[@kingdele01]

@@cantfindmykeys I agree with you! One can't be too much of a disciplinarian.

[@cantfindmykeys]

@@kingdele01 I think proper punishment is healthy but within limits. Beating on your kid will just create a cycle of abuse. I think removing privileges and dragging them to deliver an apology works pretty well without smacking them. Spanking and paddling and all that.. it works as humiliation. Like when we were paddled in school by a teacher. It was mostly embarrassing and not painful. No bruises or physical damage, just humiliation.

[@FilmArtPhoto]

If an adult is reacting to an upset child by screaming and threatening, they have already lost that fight because they've lost control. Good point about the cops being obsessed with dominating a situation and "forcing their way" through the problem. That is never going to work with a kindergartner... I mean, they might submit, but you've only succeeded in making them hate you. You haven't really worked through anything.

[@Army4life82]

I pray they don't have children good lord

[@WWENETWORKGAMING]

No, no, you have to establish dominance first with the upset child, by ANY means. Cop showed restraint by not tasering the toddler..

[@tw1705]

When are we going to wake up and demand police reform and the end of qualified immunity. A badge is basically a free pass to be a criminal, and sadly most of them are to one degree or another. Yes, there are relatively good cops, but they are all forced to look the other way at times. Anyway, it's a real dirty system and needs a good overhaul and a lot more oversight. Completely egregious, the behavior of the police. The vast majority of police officers are minions and yes men puppets with zero integrity, and the few good guys out there are forced to go along to get along or else they end up set up or dead.

[@julielevinge266]

Odd that police are totally incapable of dealing with a problem that those dealing with young children do on a daily basis.😮

[@chrishealton3830]

@@WWENETWORKGAMING bad take

[@lazydaisy2292]

My daughter started kindergarten three weeks ago. When I went to pick her up after school, a little boy was throwing a fit, refusing to go back to class and screaming "bad teacher" They sent an adult out to watch him outside, from a distance while he calmed down. My question is why did the school call the police on a five year old in the first place? This is a kindergartener whose probably never been to school before and is adjusting. This is disgraceful.

[@ashleyvestal9030]

I agree, and congrats on having a Kindergartner!!! (I taught it for years :). I will say that there are kids that age who need a more conducive setting in order to protect the majority of children. Even little kiddos can be very dangerous - not that this is the case in your experience. Probably fine. I can't imagine calling the police - a mental health professional is, in my opinion, the best option. Or just a caring adult who is calming......

[@mariee.5912]

They called the police because the child ran out of the school, but they can still see the child. So, I don't know what the school's procedure is, but I would just go and get the boy. I agree the police wasn't necessarily. Hah, your child's school understand staff how to handle tantrums.

[@jhoughjr1]

Yeah just sit and let the kid throw their fit that’ll workout for 18 years.

[@jhoughjr1]

@@mariee.5912 no they don’t. Letting them happen and just watching is not how to handle them

[@martyal]

I believe that this was a case of the school administrators not wanting to do what they are paid for.

[@LadyCin611]

Geezzzz! 5 year olds act this way sometimes. As a foster parent of 17 years, had I said or did any of these things, I’d lose my license and thrown in jail! They should have given the boy strategies to calm down and a way out. Shaking my head!

[@denine5232]

Completely agree with you!

[@Throatzillaaa]

Thank you for fostering! ❤️

[@jhoughjr1]

Foster parents have zero business commenting of discipline of children. The private prisons thank you for your service

[@jhoughjr1]

Yeah that’s what kids need to learn when you break the rules the system will make sure you feel happy and hold your hand.

[@wholeshebang1]

@Fuzzy Friends Rescue Volunteer - "Wait 'Til Your Father Comes Home!" was what mothers would tell their children as a threat when they were misbehaving, in the 1950s to '60s - which implied that they'd be strongly reprimanded, yelled at, spanked or beaten, once their father got home. It worked to quiet me & my siblings, but the punishment caused me & 2 of my 3 siblings trauma (my C-PTSD is the worst, because it continued into my teens & early 20s). My older sister, the "golden child," was never hit, roared at or chased around the house by a 6', 230-lb raging man - a cop - until I ran out of the hoyse or locked myself in the bathroom. She & my mother were the only ones who would stop him. I'm 62 and still get panic attacks when men bellow at me as I cycle in downtown traffic - inexplicably outraged at me, after they've cut me off or almost collided into me, while _they're_ on their cellphones or driving aggressively, to speed through a red or make a roght turn. *_They're_* the ones protected in their 2000-5000-lb vehible!

[@pssurvivor]

For a country where abortion and babies' lives is such a hot button issue, there doesn't seem to be much love or understanding of children. I used to run away from my swim classes cuz I was terrified of the water and every day my coach would personally go out and carry me back, repeat day after day, talking to me telling me that the water was ok. Eventually I got it, and I was able to participate in the training. That man showed me patience and understanding and as a small child I was able to pick up on it and move ahead

[@PoopyBarfy]

Yeah. If people loved their children, they would not abort them.

[@gabe-po9yi]

Yep, get those babies born to women who don’t want them, yet will rarely give them up for adoption.

[@AlintraxAika]

The fetus is not a baby and the decision of an abortion involves much more than loving or not children.

[@lillidaisyASMR]

OP was not trying to discuss the topic of abortion or adoption- she was just saying that for a country who pretends to care it sure doesn’t act like it towards children. Her story was not anecdotal and useless, just an example of how being shown some love and compassion as a child helped her grow through something many adults could’ve responded to with annoyance and rage. She was trying to show the different outcomes between the two responses..

[@LoveLivesHere12]

I think abortion doesn’t need to be the answer to a struggling mother. Perhaps giving her resources and bringing attention and awareness to the lack of training in the police force is more appropriate. It’s very cowardly to think an issue like this could “easily” have been resolved with abortion. Be better than this, please.

[@dominickdolio2414]

As one who experienced childhood abuse I can honestly say not everyone needs a beating. Sometimes the parents do.

[@shayb413]

I'm so sorry you went through this! And NO CHILD, EVER, EVVERRRRRR "needs" a beating, for ANY REASON! Studies show it is only very traumatizing and causes them Psychological problems. There are MANY ways you can discipline children, and you SHOULD, of course, but not by ever laying a hand on them in anger or punishment, or by causing them physical pain. There are many much more humane and also just more EFFECTIVE methods! I'm glad you made this comment, and I agree 100%- sometimes it's the PARENTS who need a beating instead- and in this case, these horrible, ridiculous excuse for Police officers!!

[@jaybee9269]

@@shayb413 >> Any reason? Crossing against the red light? Sometimes you have to get their attention…

[@rogerargueta5769]

Here, here.

[@LisaPFrampton]

Why haven't they been fired?! That little boy should never have been assaulted. I'll bet anything that they beat their own kids

[@TheHogfatherInvades]

@@jaybee9269 imagine viewing open acts of defiance as grounds for corporal punishment against children in general let alone a 5 year old. imagine equating corporal punishment to "getting their attention". the military pfp makes perfect sense.

[@justinthomas3389]

And cops have the nerve to act like they don't know why their reputation is what it is these days.

[@EJ1443]

Their inability to actually read/listen, watch videos of police brutality against minorities and neurodivergent, disabled people and handcuffing nonviolent detainees to transport them to the hospital or station, is scary to me. Some police have no introspection whatsoever. I sympathize that they have a hard job and see trauma, however they really need longer training and more time on disability and de escalation.

[@nadineo9436]

This child could have been on the spectrum, therefore any kind of threat or anger would have been met with immediate stress/fear from the child. It's unfortunate that the child's emotional well being took a backseat to the adults that were supposed to help him.

[@katherineharris6917]

Great comment,except I would just edit your last sentence: It's "frightening" that...

[@R3DR0PE]

Elopement ( running away from a caregiver or situation in general ) in stressful situations is a big thing with autistic people, especially during a meltdown. I stopped going to school because I would constantly have meltdowns simply because I wasn't given any accommodations since I wasn't diagnosed with ASD at the time. It was horrible and extremely stressful.

[@moniqueloupe8867]

ASD was my very first thought.

[@call_in_sick]

@Jan Lima I agree we medicalise everything when I’m fact a lot if the time it’s simply because the kid has never been told no. Simply shitty behaviour. No one wonder there’s generations of people incapable of hearing no!! Insanely shitty parenting.

[@jaymike3302]

They can yell at me for $275,000. Even at age 5 I'd know that was a good deal.

[@Olive131]

Hard to understand the adults not having a basic understanding of the maturity level of a five year old. Instead of showing compassion and caring, they displayed anger and violence. The only thing taught to that very small, young, child was that it was okay to be violent as long as you're the bigger one.

[@ConsciousExpression]

I think they showed a fine demonstration of the maturity level of a five year old. How could they do that without understanding it?

[@paulc-xj9ck]

Cops have no empathy.

[@thecassandraeffectvsperilo6754]

My mentor in college was a brilliant Child Psychologist..he taught me a lot..HOWEVER the one lesson that was stressed the most, and I still ALWAYS apply today? Never assume an issue/solution through ONLY the lense of what you've personally experienced *=)*

[@browniehendricks3726]

Good point

[@healerscreek]

Excellent advice!

[@denine5232]

Great advice!

[@CankleCankle]

I think most parents or authorities with little to no education will revert to rearing children in the same manner that they were raised with. But anyone with half a brain knows that today’s children are different than the children of 50 years ago. Children should be uplifted and told they are loved no matter what. Corporal punishment only leads to resentment and revenge seeking as well as all kinds of disorders that disrupt emotional development. Edit: k I wrote this reply before finishing the video. But In the outro, Dr Grande spelled out exactly what I was trying to say.🤠

[@kingdele01]

That is a great point! My initial reaction is that this child was just another brat & his parents were after a payday. But now, I am thinking it is possible that there could be another underlying problem with him.

[@dustybun1378]

The absoloutle lack of common sense of all the adults is pretty disheartening.

[@ZombolicBand]

makes me wonder how many children go through this daily but nobody knows about it

[@dustybun1378]

@@ZombolicBand with officers at almost every school these days probably happens all the time.

[@Watcher6868]

Thanks Dr. Grande. Listening to you and paying attention to all the details you shared made me reconfirm how important it is to stay calm with my own child (he throws a cocktail of tantrums daily). I admit that my voice had not been pleasant on many occasions after his erratic behavior but I’m the adult in the room. Overcoming how I was treated growing up is a challenge but a key to be a better dad. Thanks.

[@katherineharris6917]

Keep working on being a better dad. There is nothing more important for you to be doing. I'm glad you see that.

[@jaymike3302]

I hope I get yelled at for $275,000.

[@jessicamillslagle3203]

When my now 12 year old child was younger, they went through the terrible 2's, 3's and 4's. (It was 6 good months and 6 awful months.)... What I did was to allow space for the daily breakdown. My child would go to nursery school. I would have a snack and drink for the car ride home. (Being Hangry is awful.) We would listen to music and I would let my kiddo talk or not. (Their choice.) As soon as we walked through the front door, my child would flop on the floor and have a melt down. I didn't react, I simply stepped over my child. I took the folder out of the backpack and hung it up. I would then get some play clothes out and turn on some cartoons. Then I would start making dinner. Kiddo would always come to me in the kitchen and hug my leg with teary eyes and say "I love you mamma." I would wipe the tears away and ask if they wanted to help cook or watch cartoons. (Obviously, I would say "I love you too baby".)... It was weirdly hard in the beginning to be understanding of younger children and their frustration. (Growing up I was met with resistance and punishment.)... I was always the adult with my child. I allowed for age appropriate tantrums. (It sucked though and it's not easy!)... Now I have a great relationship with my child and we can talk about literally anything... we are all making it up as we go along. You'll probably be just fine. You are doing a great job. 👍

[@Watcher6868]

@@jessicamillslagle3203 thanks for sharing your experience and I appreciate your words. Happy Labor Day

[@Watcher6868]

@@jaymike3302 :) and

[@nikkilynn4000]

My fiancé did a little bit of time in prison when he was younger (we're in our 30s) for some nonviolent property crime (stealing from a store while he was using drugs... And for being caught with said drugs). He's been clean for a long time now. When we got into the spanking debate (we plan on having kids), he said to me the old "i was hit and i turned out fine" that most people do. I said ".... *His name*... You went to prison..." And there was nothing he could say to respond to it. So no. If you think hitting small humans worked because it supposedly worked for you, it doesn't. I'm glad he's since came around.

[@joincoffee9383]

Yep, nowadays teenagers stealing is becoming widely accepted if not considered cute and trendy and popular thing to do. Something to be proud of. One is considered dull , no fun or not adventurous if doesn’t steal. What a world.

[@nikkilynn4000]

@@joincoffee9383 I agree. He's very embarrassed and remorseful about his previous actions now. It was years before we met, but I do believe he's changed and became a better person. Obviously stealing is wrong, but i believe someone can be rehabilitated and given mental health/therapy and drug treatment too. The man I know would NEVER dream of doing that stuff again.

[@00RoxPink]

I hate when people say that. If they didnt turn out fine we would just say that the person is bad so they deserved it.

[@SailingWindGypsy]

Millions of kids (including me) got "spankings" and did turn out to be law abiding, high achieving adults (like me). Not saying spanking is the best option, but your personal experience is not data.

[@JonasC22]

Somehow shrieking into a child's face that's freaking out doesn't strike me as the best option to get them to calm down.

[@wasupgaming]

its worked for me in the past

[@TomikaKelly]

The adult shouldn't have to shriek in a child's face. The child should be behaving or the parents should remove the child from being a burden to the school.

[@ericjones1289]

An adult that shrieks into a child's face shouldn't be allowed anywhere near children for any reason

[@PrimericanIdol]

@@wasupgaming I bet it traumatized you.

[@jhoughjr1]

Yeah better to just give them what they want immediate that way they really get conditioned to act out anytime they want. Good idea!

[@pfranks75]

I’m a retired special education teacher and counselor who dealt with children who exhibited explosive or uncontrollable behavior. We had a quiet room and would use it before an incident gets out of control. It makes teaching difficult when you have students who exhibit defiant behaviors.

[@cantfindmykeys]

Better yet, trade the quiet room for homeschooling. I hated school and classrooms. I would constantly leave the school grounds and wander into villages and jungles and even the desert in foreign countries. I would eventually be picked up by authorities and taken to the embassy and my parents would be notified. My mother didn't discipline us and we were brats. Luckily, homeschooling worked well. I placed 2 years above my grade level after returning to the States and then to private school which worked fine because I missed most of the days and still passed when I scored well on final exams. College was not a problem. I showed up on the first day for the syllabus, then for the midterm and final, and turned in papers and got my degrees. I never liked school. It was a prison to me. Some children don't do well or belong in an "educational institution" type of setting. Ironically, my Dad was a tenured professor and my mother was also an educator and speech pathologist. They both had lifetime careers in a setting I couldn't tolerate.

[@user-xg3uy6hq9g]

some school use yoga and breathing/meditation to caalm kids down.

[@maxbygrapes3681]

How many rooms do you have? Seriously.

[@queenofweaves916]

If a child is acting this way there is something deeper going on more than the boy being “bad”.

[@troy3456789]

The boys mama is provoking his wrath by ignoring him or whatever, but not by caring too much or by showing the boy too much compassion and discipline.

[@thereal4113]

Yes. Maybe a month in a mental health facility might solve his issues and put him on a path better coping skills.

[@Kalleesto]

He’s FIVE

[@thereal4113]

@@Kalleesto so were the Menendez Brothers.

[@TomikaKelly]

That's not the school's problem. If he has these kinds of issues he shouldn't be in that school.

[@raquellofstedt9713]

It amazes me that parents and others seem to think that without hitting a kid, you can´t set boundaries. I run into that here in Sweden constantly. All kids are different, but there are a range of things you can do before you should even have to think of lifting your hand. Honestly!

[@mkuti-childress3625]

Times are definitely changing. I see it both in the US and Europe. I hear parents talk to their kids now the way we used to train teachers to treat kids, and it’s really great to hear. But it’s happened really slowly, and there are still plenty of people around who think it’s okay to hit their kids-or worse, that it’s the only way to have discipline. If a teacher can have a classroom full of five year olds who listen and follow the rules without hitting any of them, ever, parents can certainly do it with one kid. It’s all about patience and not taking what a child does or says personally-which so many adults still do. Kids act like kids naturally. They’re supposed to have a lot of squirmy energy, they’re supposed to test rules and want to interact with their environment. Parents getting angry when their kids don’t sit quietly and immediately obey are wasting their time and energy and jeopardizing their relationships with their kids. Set boundaries and enforce them calmly and consistently, knowing that kids have to be taught how to behave. And give them attention when they are behaving instead of just when they misbehave. Some kids are so desperate for attention that they misbehave-not purposely, but automatically-to have more interaction with their parents.

[@riseuplight]

@@beorlingo Yeah maybe she's talking about unassimilated immigrants

[@gulfgal98]

I am 75 years old and I grew up in a house where my parents never laid a hand on me or my sister. We both ended up happy and well adjusted adults who have happy memories of our childhoods. It is definitely possible to raise a happy and productive child without hitting him or her.

[@kualabear]

I lived in Sweden in the 1990’s and smacking a child was illegal back then you never saw it and Swedish friends would let their children get away with a lot. They were way ahead of most countries in this at the time and every country knew you couldn’t smack your children in Sweden.

[@jhoughjr1]

Amazing to me how many people think their kids are far too good to be spanked. Over my life I’ve seen the effects of permissive parenting vs authoritarian. I know which keeps the prisons full

[@KatieDoesCrime]

To be fair, I also reacted irrationally to the mystery meat in my elementary school lunches.

[@LoneWulf278]

😂

[@shayb413]

WOW, this made me laugh SO HARD!! I was always truly a perfectly behaved child, probably too much, but I would literally have to fight back tears on "Cowboy Surprise" day, when that was the lunch for the day! It had the NASTIEST "meat" (mystery meat!!) EVER!! But seriously, this made me laugh SO HARD, so thank you for that!! 😂🤣😅 This situation was so incredibly ridiculous and horrible- I can't believe these Officers still have jobs after they acted this way to a itty bitty FIVE YEAR OLD child!! But you're comment here was ABSOLUTE GOLD!! 🥇👍😁

[@judeinLA.]

Oh my🤭😂

[@mariee.5912]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@KatieDoesCrime]

@@shayb413 Oh, my, just the name "Cowboy Surprise" sounds ominous!

[@reddiver7293]

This is less about how the police handled this case than the endless levels of liability for teachers, administrators, staff etc. If any of the above had restrained or made the least physical contact with the child, they could have been fired and/or sued. Not to mention being canceled in the media on a national level. The police handled the situation horribly, absolutely. But how does a situation occur where police are called to deal with a violent 5 year old?

[@firstlastname7437]

The original video said the police are called in this situation because the boy left school grounds and the school has to call them or they are liable for any harm that happens to the child. You need to watch the video entirely because no one mentions he attacked other students and teachers, destroyed a 1000. computer, and the classroom. Schools use to have separate classes for students who needed more care but now they are blended right in. Mom brings up in the video that he has no friends because of the outbursts and hurting others.

[@reddiver7293]

Bingo

[@cheerfulremorse]

"You don't go to prison for beating your child." Wow. Edit: 4:10 timestamp

[@KarlMarxFanClub]

I’m like, Ummm you should.

[@LottieSue]

Beating a child is child abuse and yes, people go to prison for that. Perhaps, your definition is different. What is the definition of beating someone? 1 : an act of striking with repeated blows so as to injure or damage also : the injury or damage thus inflicted. This is very different than time outs and spanking.

[@tianna1116]

@@LottieSue who are you directing your comment to? If it’s OP I think you may have misunderstood

[@andiejoanides9233]

Terrifying statement from a police officer!

[@mariee.5912]

You can physically discipline your child without being severe under the law, but I don't understand how people do that. Especially children in distress.

[@lnc-to4ku]

Really loved and appreciated your whole take on this! Their behavior was absolutely terrible! I think you hit the nail on the head when you said "Without the ability to exercise their power, the officer's essentially had their own temper tantrums." ♡♡

[@tommccormick9290]

Dr Grande's voice can have a calming effect. Sometimes I get too calm and fall asleep like halfway through this video so had to play it twice.

[@yeenbean3318]

I'm a fully grown adult and this story activated my fight or flight response. This kind of thing absolutely stays with you for the rest of your life. Clearly there's something more going on with the boy that needs to be looked into to figure out why he's behaving this way. Punishments don't work in every situation, and sometimes they can make it worse. In my admittedly limited experience with kids just from being one, sometimes they can panic and feel like they have no other options when adults act like this. From a kid's point of view, if the adults who are supposed to care for them are "losing it", then the situation is beyond the point of benefitting from any sort of cooperation. That would possibly make a child panic and react in a way that reflects the adult's behavior because they've effectively been given an example of how to respond. I'm not saying for sure that this is what was going on in this situation, but that's just what it seems like to me based on what I know about similar things. In other words, in order to not be in more trouble, the kid would have to be the bigger person and not act like the adults in the situation. Obviously that doesn't happen because that's not how kids work. I also think a lot of times the punishments that adults inflict are disproportionate to what the kid has done. It shouldn't be up to a 5 year old to deescalate a situation. I'm not qualified to make any kind of decisions about this, so this is just an armchair opinion from a random person on the internet. I think the correct response would be to stay with the kid in the parking lot until he calms down enough to go back to school willingly and then talk it out there to figure out why he was having issues in the classroom. Even if it takes a long time to stay with him in the parking lot, you're being paid to help resolve conflict, not to yell at kids. If a professional in any other field acted like this on company time, they would be fired no questions asked. I'm not saying that's necessarily what needs to happen here because that's not up to me, but I'm giving this example as a metric for the severity of the problem.

[@LisaPFrampton]

Perfectly said!

[@b3n3d1ct10n]

So well put!

[@jhoughjr1]

No. To not be in trouble he had to do as he was told, like Fauci said to all of us

[@deannang455]

"A society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members." Mahatma Gandhi

[@maxshea1829]

@@jhoughjr1 LOL!

[@shadestress9898]

How unfortunate these policie officer's acted so irresponsible. It is apparent this job was beyond their abilities. Once again Dr. Grande gives a thoughtful analysis.

[@Snapper314]

Members of Law Enforcement these days seem to be little more then Violent Thugs in Uniform.

[@jaymike3302]

I hope I get yelled at for $275,000.

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

Unfortunate? Reprehensible.

[@musicismagic3001]

@@jaymike3302 - Traumatizing a 5 year old is very different than being “yelled at.” Try either at work and see how well it goes.

[@shadestress9898]

@@sixthsenseamelia4695 I guess sarcasm is a little too subtle for you ?

[@lawoman608]

I have no excuse for ANY adult treating a 5 years old less than loving. I want to hug thus little child. Why haven't we learned from our own childhood traumas to be kind, especially to childeren? Evils live among us. I am lost for words.

[@renee1961]

It's Appalling a 5 year old was treated like an Adult Hardened criminal!!!

[@jchur7128]

Only in America!

[@tammylaronde8593]

@@jchur7128 It happens in Canada too.

[@LisaPFrampton]

@Jan Lima you're right, however you're very wrong if you condone anything the mother or cops were saying to do to this little child!

[@jhozthron4415]

Right, i mean who would have expected the police to encourage violence and even give tips on how beat up and torture a 5 year old...

[@shayb413]

Thanks for bringing attention to such an important case Dr. Grande! This BLEW MY MIND, this is absolutely horrific treatment and so extremely traumatizing for this child! I remember as a very young Mom, feeling judged VERY often about not "disciplining" my son enough. I was 19 when he was born, and he had high functioning Autism. I'm someone who doesn't even believe in spanking a kid, ever! But he would throw very intense tantrums, sometimes for 2-3 HOURS at a time, when he was a toddler and a very young child. I saw something other people DID NOT SEE in my child during these times- absolute TERROR and exhaustion! His heart would always be racing a million miles an hour. This would happen usually if the schedule or plans we had that he was looking forward to had to change, or if we tried to insist he try new foods, because there were only a handful of foods he would eat. I noticed when my husband got so angry, it only made things SO MUCH WORSE- my in-laws DID tell me I should "smack him' or "beat him", and once my Father in Law hit him in the face and then spanked him with a board at a family reunion- I didn't let my son near him for 2 years after that. When he was 6 the tantrums had slowed way down, but still happened occasionally. And FINALLY I saw an Autism specialist that made everything make sense to me. He told me that at least with Autism and OCD likey son had, his own BRAIN was punishing him and torturing him already, which I could see. Where everyone else saw a horrible acting, insufferable Little boy at those times- I saw my little boy suffering and unable to regulate his emotions, and he really would try to. That Doctor just said the most important thing to do was NEVER "give in" to the tantrum, and tell him whatever he was having the tantrum about, if he waited 2 hours and then could ask calmly, then we could talk about it. He also said not to react with strong emotions in any way- make sure he was safe, every few minutes ask if he was ready to calm down and use his manners and his words yet. He said don't ground him or punish him, bc his brain was already doing that- but also never give in to his demands in that state. BEST advice I was ever given, within a few months the tantrums stopped completely, and he is now 18, just graduated high school with honors, and is one of the most responsible, thoughtful, hardworking, caring, compassionate etc. humans I know. The OCD actually made him VERY organized and goal oriented, and he has never been in trouble a day in his life after about the 2nd grade. If you stay calm with children, and tell them they are capable of ANYTHING, that they are smart and unique and special, and really point out their strengths, then they will BE THAT, and work towards proving you right. It's not always just that easy of course, but 5 is still SO VERY YOUNG, and often little boys are mischievous and act out still at this age. They get bored or easily frustrated. They need common sense consequences, like privileges taken away, time out, and MOST importantly, a reward system set up to bring the focus to what good things happen when they behave WELL- that's what worked WONDERS for my son, you HAVE to give really young kids struggling like that incentives to start fighting their negative impulses, and give them them the skills and opportunity necessary to do so, and make sure they know YOU believe they are smart, capable, and GOOD, even if their BEHAVIOR is bad sometimes. Sounds cliche and cheesy but it's true, I've seen it work. These cops should've been fired and should NEVER work with children again! I would've been DEATHLY afraid of the Police FOREVER if this happened to me at age 5- the ONLY interaction Police should EVER have with children that young is to be protecting them, keeping them safe, or building trust between children and Police officers. They should be fired for telling the Mother to beat her child, and that it was legal. Sounds like she wasn't the greatest either, saying she wished she could beat him but didn't want to get arrested?? I've been a VERY EXHAUSTED, VERY FRUSTRATED Mama before, where at the end of the day, I would shut my bedroom door and just literally almost collapse in tears bc of my son's tantrums and issues and the exhaustion of dealing with that on a regular basis when he was a toddler. But still, NEVER ONCE did I want to "beat" my child, and the Police probably traumatized this kid and did some lasting harm to him, only making matters worse! Sorry, this one was HARD to wrap my head around!! In 2022?? Are we freaking Savages? I just hope nothing like this ever happens again, and I lose more and more respect for a lot of law enforcement officers more and more as time goes on, and since the implementation of body cams. Sickening to know how many of them do things, and probably always have, but we just know about it now due to the cameras. Can't believe these Officers are still even employed as such after this inexcusable incident!! Great video and Analysis on this, as per usual Dr. G! 👍🌵💖

[@claracarpenter8913]

Very good comments.

[@jaymike3302]

They can yell at me for $275,000. Even at age 5 I'd know that was a good deal.

[@LisaPFrampton]

Omg I can't even begin to tell you how much I love your comment!!! I'd give it 100 thumbs up if I could, and a few hearts and smiley emojis, just to make it clear how much I love it. My son, who is also high functioning, severe ADHD, and possibly OCD (I may also have all three myself, currently going through that process myself!), I know that my son sees and feels things far differently than others do. He just loves everyone, wants to be everyone's friend, accepts everyone and is lighthearted and so much fun! He was also a very difficult toddler and preschooler. I always remained calm with him, never hurting him or anything like that. I just "got" him and instinctively knew how to handle him. I've been having to buckle down more on discipline lately, though, because [his] Dad is not consistent with discipline, has a short fuse, and let's him have whatever he wants when he doesn't want to deal with him 😡😫So I'm left being the one doing all of it. It's exhausting!!! He does behave better for me than anyone else, though, and I think it's because he feels safe with me and that care about him. I hope we can maintain this relationship. I am very scared about him going through puberty and throughout his teen years! Anyway, with all that said, I wanted to let you know that your comment really inspired and encouraged me! Tysm!!

[@ericjones1289]

Thank you Shay B for your wonderful insight. I never had any problems ever with my 2 daughters growing up. They were always really well behaved, but over many years l've seen every type of bad parent, and yelling is never the answer. The person who yells and screams is always the looser. Earning hate from the unfortunate child.

[@cottontails9003]

Hello Shay , long time without texting. How are you?

[@eveo2223]

Shepherd of the devil? Not even my late mom could've come up with that one! I miss her so! Loved the analysis and thank you for reminding us that violence is not the answer

[@gyrlyninja]

That’s a quote from the late, great Bernie Mac. 🥰

[@deannang455]

These adults are the "shepherds of the devil." “If anyone causes one of these little ones-those who believe in me-to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” (Matthew 18:6)

[@maxshea1829]

Speaking in tongues with eyes glowing red!

[@YayaSweetie]

If you can't discipline your child without "beating" them, you probably shouldn't be a parent. Obviously these adults were beat as children and I think it's a very good case against that type of discipline because they are all broken humans. These people are disgusting and none of them should have their jobs.

[@allinaday9882]

@Indi Darling: ….. and…. I am waiting for you to finish your first sentence…..So when this parent realizes that they cannot stop their child from harming themselves or another living being without hitting them. what do you propose happen to parent and child. Your statement is stupid unless you are hiding a timemachine from me.

[@daveyoder9231]

I think this situation happens more often than we think. Because school administrators cannot handle violent students, they call the police, who function as collectors of humans exhibiting unacceptable behavior. The reason for the behavior is unimportant- mental illness, drug use, overwhelming stress, or criminal intentions. Police are taught there is one answer, dominate the situation, and transport the subject to a place which will assume custody. It can become unbelievably hard for police officers to deal with. This case is troublesome, and the officers misread the emotional cues badly.

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

Cops go through short training and then they're throw into a world where everyone can potentially carry a gun. Deescalation? There was no time to teach. Dominance and intimidation - that will help with the whole "protect and serve" thing

[@relentlesseducator]

Many Elementary schools have a team of staff who are trained/certified in deescalation/physical restraint to respond to students who are escalated or violent.

[@cici736]

Agree!! Police are called for situations that are clearly not criminal and often medical. Often police treat everyone as subordinates. I was raised by a police man and I remember being told I would go to jail if I didn’t do …. Sometimes it was something as simple as brushing my teeth. It taught me that police are to be feared. Because Police are called to handle Situations that aren’t criminal, there should be protocols on how to not dominate but rather empathize and protect.

[@troy3456789]

taxpayers picked up the bill on this. The bar is now lowered quite a lot since no smart person would ever go to work at a police department. We should expect to see a lot more otherwise childish rash behavior from police. It used to be you had to pass a 10 year background check and have a bachelor degree in a related field of study, and impress your interviewer to get to be a police officer (they could afford to be picky, because people wanted to help the public and it paid quite well as a rewarding career field, and the list of applicants was miles long). Now, no smart person would ever do it.

[@LisaPFrampton]

Well said Mr. Yoder!

[@jodimarie379]

I fostered my nephews for almost two years. The younger exhibited the outbursts and the running behavior. It is sooooo difficult to handle this behavior. But these officers managed to handle it completely wrong.

[@jennw6809]

It sure sounds to me that those officers' beliefs that problems are solved by force and violence, formed because of being beaten themselves.

[@Michadoo]

Definitely a cycle of abuse being perpetuated throughout the community it sounds like :/

[@sciencenate]

Jeez I wonder if that type is drawn towards abusing authority!

[@jackk9723]

It's so crazy, that attitude and belief "I was beaten as a child and it didn't hurt me" pffff well clearly it has f**ked them up if they think beating a child is acceptable.

[@jhoughjr1]

Yeah idk how people ever thought force and violence solved anything. wonder what the IRSS needs those 87K armed people authorized to use deadly force are for? surely not using force and violence to solve a problem

[@PrecociousFriand]

Well given that most police officers are psychopaths who enjoy power, force and violence it kinda makes sense, don't it.

[@mariamerigold]

So much trauma in one day. I can't imagine the repercussions that this single day will have on the rest of his life. At the hands of "professionals" at that. Imagine how those police officers treat children in their personal lives! Generational trauma needs to be educated more worldwide. Not enough people are aware of it and so many people unfortunately carry that trauma on to the next generation. Absolutely heartbreaking 😔💔 thank you as always doc, I love the way you present these cases

[@beeimaginative]

The officers clearly had suboptimal parents themselves. Watching this video made me want to throw a tantrum!

[@Watcher6868]

You must be an operations research professional.

[@beeimaginative]

@@Watcher6868 Nope

[@shayb413]

Yes, which is sad, but still NOT EVEN CLOSE TO AN EXCUSE to treat a 5 year old child this way, or tell his Mother to beat him!! Nothing could ever excuse their behavior with regards to such a young child, and I can't BELIEVE they still are employed as officers after this! They are NOT fit to work with the public or have ANY kind of power or leadership roles, and shouldn't be working with children OR adults. Just my opinion though. There, that was me throwing MY tantrum about it! 😂, Thanks for bearing with me! ✌️💖

[@LisaPFrampton]

@@Watcher6868 😂

[@call_in_sick]

Grow up

[@anneflynn9614]

As an experienced teacher that has dealt with many children with emotional problems that acted out in school I can state that professions should always model the behavior that they want the child to exhibit.All children but especially children from dysfunctional families need love and stability.

[@gaylewinds4808]

I had something like the exact opposite happened when I worked at Walmart. A mother caught her little boy shoplifting a candy bar and we just so happen to have a police officer returning something at the customer service desk when she came to return the candy bar. She asked the officer if he would tell her kid what happened to little boys who stole. And he was as nice as he could be and was like "oh you don't want to go down this route it's bad". But the little boy only spoke Russian so his mother was interpreting for the officer, and by the way that kid started BAWLING we could tell she was not telling her kid what he was actually saying she was making it much scarier. I think she was hoping for something a little more Scared Straight, which was popular at that time, if I'm remembering my Reality TV correctly.

[@shrapnel77]

That's hilarious.

[@kingdele01]

That was a good mother!

[@sonjagatto9981]

@@kingdele01 teaching her child you can't always get what you want. NO!

[@slconley]

I watched the body camera video of this. It was so hard to watch the adults treat this little boy in this way. They should be ashamed of themselves.

[@Andreamom001]

For heaven’s sake, he’s a child. He is barely more than a baby. He’s only been in the world for a short time. He needed help and support, not physical and verbal abuse! Ugh, that poor kid.

[@badtrips]

If that kid is already behaving like a psycho then he does need discipline. I guarantee you he will be in prison at some point in his life

[@chrissied4902]

The statement of realizing your parents had no idea what they were doing is so powerful! Very freeing.

[@dee8714]

How incredibly sad. Poor kid. He has a lot of pent up anger and his mother doesn’t know how to manage him. Who knows what his home life is like. Also sad that she did nothing to stop the police treating her child the way they did but finds out she can make money from it afterwards. At least the money is going to the child.

[@Stephanie-hl8jo]

I am a teacher in the DC area and I've seen versions of this situation many times. I appreciate your analysis from the bottom of my heart.

[@great567]

As a child I was abused, all it did is make more violent towards other kids. As a father to a 3 year old, I’ve never even screamed at my child or made threats. It’s all about diffusing a situation sometimes even with humor. Sometimes I look at my daughter and wonder how a grown adult can bring themselves to physically hurting a vulnerable child - Nevermind the harsh beatings I took at the same age.

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

I applaud you, someone needs to break the cycle. 🙂👍

[@hannah50353]

As a mental health professional, I can only say this behaviour is despicable. However, I understand what Dr Grande is saying when people perpetuate the cycle of abuse. I hope the officers are given the help they need to overcome their childhood traumas.

[@badassdaphne]

Great analysis, especially the last comment about getting liberated from blindly accepting, complying and following parents' beliefs and behaviours,. People make decisions against their own willing and desire, then even commite their whole life to do what they don't enjoy and pride just for the sake of getting recognition or validation from their parents who in some case have no idea or even bother to think about what they want from their lives.

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

I am so happy for being able to comment right after the upload.😊 I am just speechless by the behavior of these two officers.🤦🏻‍♀️ Your conclusion was quite insightful. I think it’s just so important to identify the ways in which our upbringing wasn’t desirable and also to conduct an ongoing analysis of our own parenting. In this process we learn a lot about ourselves and we have the opportunity to fine-tune our parenting skills. Thank you so much, Dr. Grande.❤️

[@LDiamondz]

Hi Rejane! The police officer's behavior was ridiculous. I had to rewind the part where he asks the 5 year old, "IS THIS HOW you want to live your life?" Blinks. Yes, I heard it right. How insane is this entire situation? Some people are not cut out to be Police officers. So stupid and sad. 🤯

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

@@LDiamondz Absolutely! They handled the whole situation so poorly. I don’t even know what to say.😓

[@LDiamondz]

@@rejaneoliveira5019Hey Rejane. 👋 The video of the encounter almost made me cry. 🥺 I didn't, though, because I was so angry at the police officers AND the mother. That boy needs help, you could see that. Heartbreaking. 💔 Not everyone who can, SHOULD have children.

[@kathyglass2922]

I'm interested in understanding what this young child experienced that upset him. The adults only focus is on the child's behavior and no inquiry into the events leading up to the child throwing the clipboard. Without understanding what happened, this will occur again, in one form or another. Whatever made him throw the clipboard, and vehemently refuse to go and to return school, matters. Something happened. What was it? Noone is trying to uncover this. It just gets dismissed, and the child labeled as a brat.

[@scottashe984]

Many kids are wired that way. Most of those that are violent won't change until they are much older and have been through the system many times, if then even.

[@hicknopunk]

The fact the assistant principal got involved is sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. She should be under arrest.

[@shawnnewell4541]

My mom would always remind me to behave myself when I was in public and that I was embarrassing her when I'd throw a tantrum in public. For me, that worked. I didn't want my mom to be ashamed of me. I wanted her to be proud of me.

[@salemish]

Unfortunately, that's still a pretty shitty thing to do. Parents shouldn't be making their children's emotions about themselves. I have a narcissistic mother and she would do the same thing. If I was upset, if I got angry, if I was crying, not knowing how to regulate my emotions yet, I was never met with understanding. It was always about her and how I shouldn't be "making her look like a bad mom" or "embarrassing her". Now I've grown up emotionally stunted and have been in therapy for years for cptsd, depression, and anxiety.

[@shawnnewell4541]

@@salemish My mom was very loving. But man, I had a horrendous temper combined with stubbornness that exasperated my mother. Shaming did work. But usually you only had to punish me once. Her most frequent punishment was to send my sister and I to our rooms. For me that wasn't a punishment. I loved being alone in my room to read my books or listen to the radio.

[@Shannonbarnesdr1]

@@shawnnewell4541 id just take away your radio and books and give them back to you in a few days or so , as ytou earned those privileges back.

[@shawnnewell4541]

@@Shannonbarnesdr1 Mom, never thought of that. And I sure wasn't going to tell her. She died when I was 16. That was 50 years ago. I do miss her. She was sweet.

[@dianamarie5663]

Dr. Grande I know you have two sons. I can't imagine you administering corporal punishment, threatening harm or name calling. I agree with your approach to this situation. I hope the boy get the attention and redirection he needs.

[@badtrips]

If that kid is already behaving like a psycho then he does need discipline. I guarantee you he will be in prison at some point in his life

[@southbug27]

If you have a child, especially one that young, acting up to that extent the child is almost surely suffering from abuse & violence at home. If they’re aren’t suffering from violent abuse, then they are likely suffering from severe neglect, missing parents, or some type of chaos. These kids are the last children that need more violence & lack of respect for their physical boundaries, making how the cop picked him up & moved him against his will absolutely the wrong move. The fact that they want & demand a parent beat a child proves they have no business being cops because they won’t protect a child from abuse if they come across it, & they could be the difference between an abused child getting help or dying from abuse. Fire them immediately!

[@sianmilne4879]

Either that or undiagnosed neurodiverge/mental illness. Look deeper! Kids aren't "just bad"

[@AnodyneHipsterInfluencer]

*Mom -* "I _want_ to beat my child but I'm scared I'll get in trouble." *Unhinged Cops -* "No, you're good. It's not illegal to beat your child in Montgomery County. Just don't leave any bad burns or cuts. You _need_ to beat this beast." *Also Mom -* ~ Gets cops in trouble and costs taxpayers a quarter of a million dollars for disciplining her child "the way she wanted to." ~

[@kimberlysmith7311]

Great Analysis Dr. Grande. I think like you said, the officers didn't know any better then what their parents taught then, and that's sad actually. 💞

[@joannaeaton9436]

Omgosh. This is totally wrong. And this is why we don’t trust law enforcement. (from a mum with 2 special needs kids)

[@mariee.5912]

❤️ I have one special needs child and I can't imagine agreeing with the police to scare my child. All I can think the mom was stressed.

[@jonathanisrael9714]

The Great Caper! When my daughter was around 9 years old, she decided to deliver a free 'good news' publication to the neighbors on our street. Someone called the police on her and the squad cars quickly showed up. The police scared and confused her, challenging her and making her feel as though she were a criminal. My daughter was greatly shaken up that day and has not liked nor trusted police ever since. It seems they should have special training on how to treat children.

[@LDiamondz]

It sounds like the kind of neighbors we had, when I was a kid. One of them once called the police on my 5 year old brother because he had a lemonade stand. They said it made the neighborhood look 'trashy.' The police showed up, were very nice, and thought the neighbor was bitter and wrong. There were 4 officers, and they all bought a cup of lemonade! We never knew which neighbor called them, could have been any of them. Adults can be so cruel to other people's children. These kind of people are crazy, imo. Your daughter should have been praised for showing initiative and creativity at 9. I bet you were very proud of her. 👍

[@jonathanisrael9714]

@@LDiamondz It is sad that an adult would call police on children for non criminal activity. However, it was so much more egregious the way the police responded and continued to push hard to find justification for the arrest of my little girl. I finally convinced their Sargent there was NO crime committed, and after repeatedly asking him to leave my property, he slowly and reluctantly did. We call it the 'Barney Fife' syndrome.

[@LDiamondz]

@@jonathanisrael9714 What a horrible experience for your daughter to go through. It should have been a non issue. To push for arresting a 9 year old girl is really disturbing. She wasn't a criminal! There is something seriously wrong with law enforcement, now, and it seems to be getting worse. Maybe in the hiring practices, they are more lenient than they used to be? As in, they hire unqualified people with no experience and lower scores? I'm sorry your daughter, and you, had to go through that. Must have been terrifying.

[@jonathanisrael9714]

@@LDiamondz Thank you for your empathy. Yes, it was very stressful for our entire family but especially for my little girl. I didn't mention this but what escalated tensions even further was when the police sergeant seemed to purposefully agitate and provoke me to say or do something warranting my arrest. It was unnerving and surreal to have to be pushed so hard over such an innocuous event. However, my daughter is grown now and doing well; and I make it a point to pray for police since they have such a stressful and highly dangerous job. May God help them do their jobs safely and well.

[@websurfer5772]

As adults we play out our childhood programming. There should be TV shows about how to parent without being abusive. In the '80s they had a show on PBS just like that on TV and it was a live broadcast of a class I was taking in college by a wonderful professor who knew how to deal with discipline without resorting to negative tactics.

[@11cabadger]

OMG that's terrible. The cops. The parent. The school personnel. And we wonder why that little boy is going to need the money for psychiatric help. If he manages to reach the age to recover it. Your observations are, as always, humorous & fitting. I think your right about their behavior & "true maturity level". Until I saw this video, I couldn't understand why not having a child in your life justifies treating a kid so insensitively. Thanks for presenting the idea that never questioning poor parenting sadly leads to the grown-up child becoming a reflection of their parent.

[@melissadwiggins]

Sadly, he probably really believes that. I didn't know that I was being abused till I was like 16 years old when my guidance counselor asked me about a bruise on my arm. It's especially bad in the south.

[@julielevinge266]

Never take any notice of temper tantrums, it’s just frustration from child & always best to leave them, within minutes they’ll calm down✊♥️

[@m.f.richardson1602]

This was a good one. I totally sided with the young boy. That little guy is going to have a rough life. The mother's frustration with her son is bull. What's going on at home? Your explanation of the police was very interesting. Sounds like there could be a lot of truth to it. Thank you. Peace 💕🇺🇲

[@ashleyvestal9030]

The mother and son both need intensive psychiatric intervention to protect the future of society. They don't need an arrest, they need medical care. This child could potentially hurt/kill many people in the future. It shouldn't be taken lightly. Please get him (and mom) help. The "little guy" might have a rough life, but preventative measures should be taken before he destroys other lives in the future.

[@LisaPFrampton]

Well said!!

[@timmyturner999_]

“This guy is going to have a rough life” yeah I’m sure that 300 thousand dolllars he is going to get when he grows up for throwing a temper tantrum and running away from school is going to be very hard for him be real you meatball Lmfaoo beat that little shit he deserves it

[@jhoughjr1]

Single motherhood is going on at home the best way to raise boys

[@oregonsnob31]

Dr Grande Ive watched at least a hundred of your videos and followed you for over a year and this particular video is hands down, your best, in my opinion. Too many bright points to list. I just want you to know how much you add to so many lives and how grateful I am for your astute candor on some current events and past events…. Resulting in group learning by using critical thinking and honesty.

[@carth85]

The sneaky dry humor always gets me.

[@patball7485]

The humor was what got me to subscribe.

[@shanna72030709]

Excellent analysis. I have worked in the foster care system since 1994 & this analysis parallels how foster parents can struggle with the youth they have in their home.

[@snow999]

I worry that police won’t recognize my son is special needs. He likes to break away from me and he teachers and run out the door. However, I like that his school has a police office assigned to it. This world is just so crazy I feel it’s necessary.

[@LisaPFrampton]

My son also used to do this. They couldn't keep an eye on him and I said enough is enough and took him somewhere else where they could actually both keep an eye on him and teach him!

[@TomikaKelly]

Homeschool him.

[@snow999]

@@LisaPFrampton thanks. I’m working on that right now. It’s a fight but I’m not giving up.

[@snow999]

@Jan Lima wow

[@snow999]

@Jan Lima you have no clue what you’re talking about and are quite mean spirited.

[@Lisa-ir2gz]

I was "spanked" (with wooden spoons and paddles) as a child. When I started having children, that is all I knew. I spanked my first child. To a lesser extent my second child. It never felt right....my older child in particular had a lot of behavior issues and would hit me back. I recognized that these situations were escalating and as the adult it was up to me to get it in check. For that reason, I stopped spanking my children. As a result my youngest child has never been spanked. I got a lot of flack over the years about not spanking my children.....but once I decided to do it differently I was committed to that. My oldest even told me a few times that his younger siblings "need to be beaten". I reminded him that I was the parent and I would handle the situation. I also apologized that I used to spank him...but reminded him that I didn't do that anymore. It is the best decision I ever made. I wish I had made it sooner and never spanked any of my kids. But, I am still thankful that I came to realize my mistakes and changed my behavior.

[@viviennelee2215]

Sad that your oldest had to go through that from you and then watch his siblings get a better life

[@Lisa-ir2gz]

@@viviennelee2215 in a way yes. That is why I apologized to him. I couldn't in good conscience continue to do something that I realized was wrong for a sense of fairness. It benefitted him too because he no longer got spanked either. As he got older I explained to him that we do the best we can with what we know at the time. I explained that when he was younger I didn't know a better way and at first didn't know it was wrong because it was done to me as a child. But, then I realized it was not working and was damaging so I stopped. He seemed to understand. It was hard for a while tho because I was a single mom and he was my only son. People would tell him "you are the man of the house now". I would constantly tell people not to say that to him..but they would anyway. Despite my telling him that I was the parent and I would handle things, he internalized the "man of the house" thing and remembered that he used to be spanked (even tho at this point he hadn't been spanked in years) and felt that it was his job to advise me that "they need to be beaten". Not to mention the influence of my family of origin that heavily believes in corporal punishment. I just had to stand firm and remind him that I was the parent and discipline was my responsibility even if he didn't agree with how I was doing it.

[@utubefreshie]

You're a good parent for learning your initial mistakes in parenting and making a change and most especially for apologizing to your eldest child. I would think they're all doing well these days.

[@RobertaReal7980]

I'm really appalled the school principal didn't stop this crazy screaming behavior from the police.

[@kevinc809]

Yeah, assuming all this is true. Police should have carried him to the principal and left.

[@alliereesor115]

When I was 5 years old I ran away from home (to my grandma's house) and someone saw me walking and called the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) and they picked me up. I told them where I was going and they took me to my grandma's. They let me sit in the front (it was the 80s) and play with the siren, they were so nice. It was my mother who was to be feared, I don't think she'd even realized I was gone.

[@ngi638]

😳why didn’t I see this story before ? This is nuts!

[@PHlophe]

before you molly whopped the unruly relative ?

[@SF-eo6xf]

Wrong demography

[@ms.noodlemandisapproves2496]

This breaks my heart because my 4 year old son has moderate autism. I cringe when strangers approach me on how to discipline him. I respond with "you want me to beat a special needs 4 year old with a heart condition?" ( he has a congenital heart defect). I cant imagine how scared this kid was. I know my son loves police & firefighters. This would eliminate trust forever. So sad.

[@witch_haunts_ghost]

Dr Grande strikes again! The demon sheep comment was brilliant. They are warmer than normal sheep. Those police officers sound unbelievable. That poor child. Imagine being a five year old and acting like a five year old and then being reprimanded like a 35 year old. Terrifying. I don't think the mother or the police officers have done this child any favours.

[@shrapnel77]

Normal 5 year olds do not throw clip boards at a teacher and fellow student and run out of the school. Something's going on at home and I do not condone the officer's behavior.

[@DJ-nk4dq]

The officers were acting ghetto because that’s what they know. They were beaten and abused and since the child is black, they took it upon themselves to treat him like they were treated. I watched the video of that and it was appalling. The school staff was quiet, as if in shock. The mother played right along the officers, then turned around and sued the PD. The male officer even said (paraphrasing) as long as you don’t leave burns and cuts you are ok and will not be in trouble.

[@deannang455]

Enjoy the coming lockdowns. If this is how you treat children!

[@xminusone1]

Ordinary 5 years olds don't act that way in the first place. There's obviously something more going on with that kid. He should be evaluated. Kids who act like that often have many other issues.

[@witch_haunts_ghost]

@@DJ-nk4dq I agree with you 100%

[@A358M]

I saw the footage last year . The cruelty ,the bulling,the mental taunting, the interigation the police did to that little boy broke my heart. The police weren't talking to him ,they were abusing him! That little boy,throughout his adult life will be traumatized for what those dispicable police did to his syche. Also,his mother complying with the two police bullies infuriated me.

[@judybashoro3364]

A 5 year old kid? That's shameful

[@wendychavez5348]

I know someone whose autistic son, after acting out in class when he was 9 years old, was detained for hours, during which time he was sexually assaulted by at least one of the detaining officers. The mother was called ONCE, and no definite message was left, nor did they attempt to reach the child's father (who I believe was out of town on business that week). I believe that was 10 years ago, and my friend is still trying to get justice for her son and the rest of their family--including proper counseling services at schools, more appropriate facilities for handling behaviorally challenged students, and accountability for authority figures that choose to abuse people under their care. This case was obviously not affected by the laws and staffing changes she has helped to enact--that is upsetting, even to someone who has no children that could be harmed in such a manner.

[@robertgiles9124]

Now that the little beast knows he can get a quarter Million for acting out...wait for the sequel.

[@JaneDoe-fn8ni]

Exactly what I was thinking.

[@dianedeck]

Exactly, prime example of rewarding misbehavior.

[@shayb413]

Ummm, NO. These Officers traumatized this kid THOROUGHLY, and encouraged his Mom to BEAT HIM, over and over they did this. If this happened to ME at age 5, I would've been left traumatized and terrified of the Police FOR LIFE!! Besides, it sounds like this kid may be having a rough time- by the time he turns 18, $250,000, after taxes, it won't even be THAT crazy much money. It could pay for his college or go towards a first home for his family. I'm just so glad it's not going to his Mom, and WILL be saved until he's older. I just think there was NO EXCUSE for the Police to act this way, and the kid was 5- the POLICE were the ones with the "bad behavior", come on people! This isn't rewarding a 5 year old's "bad behavior", it's saying it's UNACCEPTABLE for Police officers to treat a child like an ANIMAL, and traumatize him, and encourage and instruct his mother over and over again to beat him anytime he acts out. How is that even KIND OF acceptable to you??

[@THE-id1by]

A quarter million in 15 years, I don't believe that would have any consequence on child's current behavior --its too remote..

[@robertgiles9124]

@@shayb413 Maybe not for the kid....but for you....I'd consider it. LOL

[@ms.blanche8578]

I will never forget the amount of pressure that was placed on me 30 years ago to whip my young children by older relatives. I stood my ground though. BTW, I have two awesome college educated young adult children that I could not be more prouder of. Taking away privileges & time out works if a person will take the time to explore this type of discipline. Communication is key with your children.

[@kingdele01]

I do believe that those should be the first resort while attempting to discipline children. However, one should never remove corporal punishment from the toolkit of possible punishments. Also, having college education does not mean one does not have personality traits that come from lack of parental discipline!

[@nadadhibi]

@@kingdele01 nothing worse than personality traits of corporal punishment anger issues antisocial behavior. literally every dongle serial killer out there has been beat up as a child. when will you people learn hitting someone years snd years younger 10 times smaller than you is disgusting and leads to nothing good

[@kingdele01]

@@nadadhibi That is complete nonsense! According to that logic, then past generations of Americans & Europeans should all be serial killers, since corporal punishment was not only practiced in the homes, but in society (schools, courts, etc....)

[@techyall]

Thank you Dr. Grande, you always provide the best videos from a Doctors perspective, there are many parents who deserve to listen to you. I'm very proud to know that you exist online.

[@HeavenEarthFloral9]

Excellent analysis Dr Grande. A very important topic. The shocker is rewarding the child for throwing a tantrum! I was beaten as a child. As an adult having to deal with my young niece throwing a tantrum, i would look at her and ask: "Why are you laughing, what's so funny?" I kept repeating this until she realized she was not in control. I would love the response from her, "I'm not laughing!" Never acknowledge behavior one does not find appropriate.

[@theuprising4847]

These kids can be very difficult to deal with. Should have called a social worker instead of the police. Other than that I don't know. Glad I'm not a parent. The kids $hi++y behavior paid off ching ching

[@Khaleesi_Of_Kittens]

Or the parents, maybe??

[@theuprising4847]

@@Khaleesi_Of_Kittens Sending police to deal with this is like sending a child psychologist out to write traffic tickets. Says the money is in a trust for the kid. Wonder if he can collect it if he's in custody of the youth authority. Give him a teddy bear, a juice pack, and call it good.

[@ashleyvestal9030]

Yes!! Don't call police for a 5-yr-old. Call a mental health professional. Police are not trained for this. They (the children) need intense, in-patient, psychiatric help. Regardless of home life, they need help from caring, professional people.

[@you2uber530]

The insight at the end if the video about one's realizing his parents didn't knew what they were doing raising one up, and the consequences of not realizing that, is one of the better words of wisdom I ever heard.. or un trumps words, no one in the world ever had a better insight... but seriously, this sentence should be the first thing someone need to comprehend before being a parent. Thanks for giving me another great opportunity to better myself.

[@BrassLock]

Yesterday was *_Father's Day_* in Australia 🇦🇺. The timing of this analysis was perfect in suggesting how not to parent a young boy.

[@nou712]

It's not about fathers, it's about subsarahan IQ's attempting to live in modern society.

[@jhoughjr1]

Single mothers are not how to raise boys

[@leylamoody3177]

O.M.G! Fire them all and keep them all away from children! Excellent analysis, Dr. Grande! ❤️

[@k.i.1700]

The last bit where you talk about gaining insight and realizing that your parents had no idea what they were doing...when you can break away from your own childhood experiences and think for yourself - hence breaking the cycle. This really spoke to me. It wasn't until I was in my late teen years when I realized it was not ok for a parent to hit/spank to discipline a child. The scars are everlasting.

[@ieattofu68]

My son was banned from a daycare when he was 15 months old for having a tantrum and kicking one of the workers...I didn't beat him in response. He is 24 years old now and is a very kind and soft spoken gentleman with two college degrees, a black belt in tae kwon do and he doesn't drink or smoke or curse.

[@celestecelestial90]

I 😂 when you mentioned they used dirty Harry as a training video, so true. I have a baby cousin who I had to help raise (now is 16) who was really difficult to be around as a young child so I know kids can be so aggravating, but kids are kids. They don't have the same thinking capacity as adults so they are going to act out at some point and do stupid things. I believe in discipline by taking away activities, making them do extra chores and taking away recreational items (like tablets and toys temporarily), but I don't believe in child cruelty. I don't want to raise a mentally unstable person because I was cruel to my child physically and emotionally.

[@Banichi04]

Thanks for your thoughtful and compassionate review of this sad situation.

[@cottontails9003]

How stupid police taking their anger out on a 5yr old child. I personally believe that child will probably have distrust and issues with police. Thank you Dr Grande. Brilliant analysis, sad outcome and informative topic.

[@zenawarrior7442]

Hi dear. Heading to bed, wanted to say hi, send a hug to you, Noah, the family. You're special to me 😊💌💙💙💌🌃🌜🎋🎁♥️♥️♥️

[@cottontails9003]

@@zenawarrior7442 Thank you. You are loved by all of us. Goodnight, sweet dreams 😴😚❤💙💚💖✉🎋🎋🎋🎆

[@zenawarrior7442]

@@cottontails9003 Thank you so much, that means alot. I popped awake, saw this. Heading back to bed. Love you all too😉💛💛🤍🤍🧡🧡💫💫💯👐🌼🌼

[@LDiamondz]

@@zenawarrior7442 Hi Zena! 👋 I hope you are having a nice sleep! Just wanted to say hi, before I head off to bed! 😉 We are all so warm and fuzzy to each other! You both are special to me, too. I love you guys! G'night, beautiful! 🥰😍🤩😘❤🧡💙💜💫💃💃💃

[@zenawarrior7442]

@@LDiamondz Hi 👋 I just got up, had a great sleep thanks. I hope you get rest, g'night too beautiful 😊🤗💌🫖🌃. We are warm & fuzzy...I like it! Glad to call you & CT my pals, you're both very special too⭐⭐😉💞💞🥳💛💛🏜🎇

[@grumpyoldlady_rants]

When I saw the video of this, I exploded with anger. How dare they treat this little boy like this. My youngest son had issues adjusting to elementary school. He is neurodivergent (ADHD, Tourette’s, OCD and processing difficulties). If the school ever had calmed the cops on him, and treated him this way, I would have gone ballistic! Shame on this cops snd school personnel. This little boy is scarred for life. I hope he gets into a therapeutic environment where he can learn to regulate his emotions .

[@sylwia7060]

Wtf? 😲This is totaly INSANE to listen to for me who lives in Norway were they can't put handcuffs until you are 16 y old and even then they 9 out of 10 times DON'T do that.... so sorry this scared little kid had to go thrue this horrible trauma😢, sending lots of love and light 💝

[@DeidreL9]

Oh wow. I’ve seen questionable behaviour with a close friend when we were children, her parents would yell at her as well…once investigated, it turned out my friends behaviour was actually associated with her diet. She ate a high degree of sugar and it just set her off. These things need to be investigated, but quite aside from this, what on earth were those police thinking of? It sounds like they were recommending violence and aggression to dominate a situation…one they were unable to handle…and this was a child! Unbelievable. Thank you for your analysis, this was really difficult to hear about. Thank you Dr Grande.

[@teemadarif8243]

Thank you ! I found your analysis to be spot on , to say the least. Your professional opinion is very much appreciated and needed .

[@Jujubean9795]

They called his parents far too late. As a mother, I would be absolutely LIVID! She had no idea what her son had endured before they even bothered to call her.

[@TomikaKelly]

It sounds like the boy regularly behaves like this. As a mother, if this is your kid's behavior then he should be homeschooling NOT being a burden on the teachers and school admin.

[@viviennelee2215]

@@TomikaKelly you really want him to get beat behind closed doors without a single witness do you

[@jhoughjr1]

Nah I’m pretty sure she knew what she hath wrought.

[@Jujubean9795]

@@TomikaKelly I don’t think so. They would have expelled him. Even if he has a history of misbehaving, homeschooling is not the answer. He’s only FIVE! Beating a five year old is never the right answer.

[@Jujubean9795]

@Extremely Honest My child is over 16yo and not a parent… I accept cash, Zelle or Venmo.

[@Nothinhurtz]

This is a great learning tool for everyone. I think everyone should listening to this.

[@MotJ949]

Whenever I see police involved in school discipline I want to know what is going on in the school that all the employees who are degreed and trained in and practicing education and child development let things get out of control enough to need the police. Did the police behave inappropriately? Yes. Did the professionals at the school fail this child before the police were even called? Also yes. Our schools need to do better as well.

[@opal1367]

Insightful video! Spot on about how obtusely, un-emotionally intelligent and one dimensional police officers are. As you said they merely try to slap a misguided Band-Aid on a complex situation and dominate it. It always appalls me how clueless they are to read social cues and interpret things correctly. They also are obsessed with power and have dominate the situation as you said. It's disgusting scary and ineffective, and these people should not be the trusted guardians of our society.

[@renee1961]

He was only 5 Years old!!! For crying out loud!!

[@Peacefullyatbeach104]

Exactly..

[@suzygirl1843]

@@laurastortoni-hager1510 Black people have BEEN telling you people this but you refused to listen.

[@jms1086]

This story is disturbing on so many different levels. They were charged with “failure to be courteous.” Well, that’s one way to put it. Thanks Dr. G. for explaining what went wrong with the situation, but also offering tidbits like “demon sheep” to the story. I literally laughed out loud on that one. 😊 Great video.👍

[@jackychamber534]

I wonder, who showed more behaviour of a little angry child, the cops or the 5 year old?

[@Flamsterette]

Thanks for the upload, Dr. Grande.

[@OpinionatedBastage]

I certainly agree that the officers were ill-equipped and handled the situation poorly. With that said, I also believe the child's mother has done a very poor job raising him thus far. The extreme behavior of that child suggests he has a substandard parent or parents and I'd say that's putting it kindly.

[@judyannstreich7499]

And Mom then turns around & sues everyone for big bucks and they pay $250,000 ?? That, to me, is rewarding bad parenting or was Mom just kidding when she said she wanted to beat the boy too??

[@OpinionatedBastage]

@@judyannstreich7499 I was thinking the same thing.

[@TheAnubis57]

@@judyannstreich7499 Good point. I was about to comment hat too. May I add that the mother maybe a doting her son the point that he'll be sociopath someday.

[@AcPh-nc3vz]

Don’t know the situation. The child could have a developmental disability that the parent is not aware of or equipped to handle.

[@fatimahrahman6158]

Ignorance, incompetence, insensitivity, brutality, misconduct, dominance and lack of compassion for a child who is in emocional trouble. These adults are devoid of empathy or compassion. What is happening in our society when those with power abuse it? These people are all failures. The only redeeming facet of this story is Dr. Grande’s intelligent, fair and respectful assessment of the incident. I still have hope for some of the human beings who continue to walk amongst us.