Tom & Bert Almost Break Up | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Highlight

[@dannyzorc3259]

I would love to see a paid special episode where Tom tells stories that include both of them, and Bert gets $500,000 for every minute he's silent.

[@John-Doe-Yo]

If they took 500k each time he did then maybe he would stop interrupting and stfu

[@thedevo01]

​@@John-Doe-Yo I don't think you get it; Staying quiet hurts Bert more than losing money.

[@elliotmorin5560]

He would end up owing Tom $.

[@Panama_Red]

To be fair, at least this time he was adding context and not completely changing the subject. 😂

[@COBRAHAWKband]

This video could have been half as long if Bert didn’t open his mouth.

[@deeez3606]

Tom is great about not getting frustrated about Bert’s continuous interruptions

[@colbyzur4642]

Because he grew up with Charo doing the same

[@Eriey3]

@@colbyzur4642 omfg you just blew my mind. He’s so damn patient because of her 😂 reminds me of how chill Top Dog was, at a certain point you just let the person do their thing while you stay quiet 😅

[@Notimp0rtant523]

At the end of the day, when you have a bro in the business, like a real bro, that’s your bro. My best friend still doesn’t believe the Covid vaccine is safe, of course I tell him how stupid he is, he’s still my best friend and has been for over two decades (and I’m not that old)

[@Mexicanboy1144]

It’s cause he knows he’s r worded

[@savagepropressurewashing1289]

Tok’d

[@AsparagusVideo]

Holy shit, Bert starting a story is like trying to shovel water.

[@timmccarthy9917]

Yeah but you know, Christina and I were talking, and I was saying like, y'know, back when I was in Los Angeles, she and I were thinking, as a child I always had, y'know, we were saying,

[@ryansmoot5180]

Yeah he’s brutal.

[@Rosskles]

Yeah, life is such a struggle ain't it? 😂

[@BrashHail]

This comment had me cackling 😅😂

[@John-Doe-Yo]

Lol this commented reminded me of my Drill Sergeant, if you messed up or were being insubordinate he’d make you play his “fuck-fuck games” the funniest was when he gave someone a spoon and told em to move a puddle a few feet away, while it’s still raining.

[@bandee6638]

Literally, you cannot count to 5 without Bert interrupting.

[@MrBigevil512]

I counted to 20 😅

[@acegambit777]

​@@MrBigevil512cap

[@whysthissodifficult]

And having him argue that hes the best at counting

[@bummfacef1828]

Tom: 1..2..3.. Bert: DUDEDUDEDUDE, THEN COMES 4! 4 comes next, like RIGHT after 3!

[@rokrjon]

With no interrupting, this clip would have been like 3 minutes.

[@johnnybgood7442]

Bert's lack of self-awareness is startling.

[@cliftonfurney5083]

That might be the only person he is aware of

[@Idotisme]

He is so selfish 😂😂 like a spoilt brat. Oh wait.

[@d4mdcykey]

@@cliftonfurney5083 ~ You two have created a conundrum that broke my goddamn brain. Thanks?

[@ReaperCaliber]

He is obsessed with the delusion he has of himself but is totally unaware of the person he really is. It's not a conundrum or paradox. It's ironic.

[@Ruckus333]

AND his busybody wife. F You Leanne!

[@morrisc4624]

Man, it would kill me to be around someone like Bert all the time. I assume he knows he is cutting people off, but he still does it. It's fun to watch Tom and listen to the crew laughing each time. One would assume he gets worse as he gets drunk. Couldn't handle it.

[@EMD_HOKIO]

I don’t know how he got so far in life

[@TurbulenttJuice]

I would punch him.

[@carlrs15]

​@@EMD_HOKIO privilege

[@mikebyars9463]

He’s always drunk. So… he’s always like this.

[@DesertDawg-oq5fg]

Bert is conscious of how obnoxious and unintentionally rude he is, so he tries to make up for it by taking really good care of his staff and fellow comics who open for him by being a really nice guy who lavishes them with things like dinner and gifts That’s why you don’t hear any comic actually trash him

[@s3hunna]

Even in Bert’s hypotheticals he’s drinking and sad about drinks being poured out 🤣🤣

[@wutangisforthechildren1598]

😂

[@Mike-wo7cy]

This was soooo hard to try and get through. Bert is brutal.

[@abepassman]

This story is a 5 minute story that Bert stretches to 12 because he cannot handle not being mentioned in the story for more than 30 seconds 😂

[@huntmine2343]

So damn true

[@wildcatdan5072]

I scrolled down to comments at minute 5 to say the same thing.

[@buitenwesten8444]

The reason why I don't watch the full podcast, only a couple of highlights a month or if Tom has another guest. I love Tom and like Bert but this shit is just unbearable(pun intended).

[@Rosskles]

1st world problems huh?

[@mattsr24]

Kind of like... The... Machine... story?

[@DesertDawg-oq5fg]

1:22 Bert: “ tell the story from the beginning” Proceeds to let Tom talk for 30 seconds before cutting him off again

[@itsfreakincap3089]

Dammit Bert come on! Even Tom was like, “So before I was interrupted..”

[@purocaballero]

Brent's face has never looked redder or fatter, living it up I see 😂😂

[@Mmlujan]

He looks like shit. He really won’t live long going down this path. Insane non of his family says anything.

[@chrisstormvox]

And still most likely doing way better than you

[@eyeknow8009]

​@@chrisstormvoxokay bert

[@chrisstormvox]

@@eyeknow8009 Confident on that actually

[@daveeggleston8218]

This sounds like the friend who you do everything for complaining about that one time something came up, even though he's never done shit for you.

[@jamesgoater2416]

Bart Crystals should start a podcast where he invites framed photos of guests, that way we don’t have to get annoyed at the constant interruptions + the podcast will be pretty much the exact same as Bart doesn’t let anyone else speak 👌🏻

[@whatever9017]

I think they are the best duo of all time, cuz Tom is the attitude you show to strangers and Bert is the emotions you share with loved ones, I think everyone has a lil bit of Tom and Bert in 'em hahahhah

[@979259]

Can we get the optimal version of these where everything Bert says is edited out?

[@EMD_HOKIO]

Yeah definitely needs to happen or just get rid of him and replace him altogether even..

[@brianmashak5413]

Toms patience is crazy. I almost can’t listen to episodes with both bears

[@philipsanabria1031]

Fuck, not another story about Bert where Bert cannot stop interrupting a story being told about him 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@jn9336]

Tom was probably going to the premiere for burt the whole time , he just wanted to torture burt like he does everybody else.😂😂😂

[@mambaboy1982]

Wow!! Tom looks great, he looks fit and healthy. Great to see him looking so fit.

[@jackpackwood7760]

Listening to them try and get through a pretty simple story was hilarious and pretty sad 😂

[@proxy8918]

Tom Segura as usual is the only sane person in the whole situation

[@armorykittington]

Christina seemed equally weirded out and like she just wanted to spend time with her family.

[@Frozen_Bean]

Very nice tom. I bought your hardcover book from barnes&noble. Congrats on getting the reprint!

[@AdemVoldy]

I scrolled to the comments simply to write, "BERT LET HIM FINISH THE GODDAMNED STORY" only to find pretty much everyone else already said it so I'm glad I wasn't alone. Holy shit.

[@TheIamlazy9293]

LeeAnn hit’em with that trademark southern girl guilt trip 😂

[@havenpowell153]

Good lord this was a hard listen. Bert needs to realize everything is not about him and other people can tell their experience

[@nathanwho1384]

He was already bad enough, now he's got a Hollywood movie which ramps it up 1000x worse. Now it really was all about him and he still can't stand someone else had a moment during it. Even if it's his "best friend". I really just watch this for Tom and the jokes between them. Bert has always been kind of annoying from the start, and his entire career is based off one bit that got spammed all over Facebook back in the day.

[@MajorNutsack]

It's pretty much like if I see Bert in a thumbnail there's a 75% chance im not watching it.

[@whysthissodifficult]

He's gotten to the point where he thinks that if he has something to say then everyone else should stop talking so he can speak.

[@andrewandrew569]

Usually Bert has bad analogies, but that one with the girl and the drinks and the “you need to leave” so good.

[@lScottsy]

From Bert’s point of view, I can see why he’d be upset, but from toms i can see why he didn’t go

[@brandonball5971]

But he did go lmao

[@jddd12]

He went though ?

[@whysthissodifficult]

Theo called eddie bravo a "deaf jack russell" and ever since then i have thought that was the perfect anology for Bert!!!

[@DesertDawg-oq5fg]

You can’t tell me that an unintended perk of Tom moving to Austin is getting to have a almost exclusively business relationship with Bert. Doesn’t seem like he sees or talks to him more than necessary

[@bobbyhelsel1160]

Watching Tom have pure Joy having tortured him regarding the Premiere is Priceless!! 😂

[@the_comedycritic6066]

Holy balls Bert’s head is massive!

[@superbaal]

Tom looks like a drill sergeant but I'm imagining he'd be in full uniform yelling BIKES

[@Xplora213]

Sempre Fehhhhhh

[@BurtHandsome]

It's amazing that Bert is like this and they still have a friendship, his world is blown apart cuz he isn't the center of the universe, out of this world narcissist

[@denyaal.9944]

I really get Tom's perspective because I feel the exact same way and don't "celebrate" someone or something else if I don't have an authentic reaction to it. If I don't have an authentic reaction to something, I'm not going to fake it for the sake of someone else, because then I'm not really doing anything for them. On top of maybe the person having social anxiety, having to give up their time, their plans to enjoy something else now being thrown out the window, and the pressure to act genuine, for the sake of someone else just seeing that you did something or showed up to something. And then it's like, "If this person didn't do this favor for me, then they must not like me," when that person could be feeling genuinely happy or proud of whatever it is about whatever you have going on, but then you're writing them off because they didn't feel proud of you or congratulate you in the way that YOU wanted? I can understand Bert a little bit, but I hate hate hate when someone gets angry or indignant about receiving something genuine, but just not in the way THEY had in mind. It's awful.

[@vess928]

Yeah but you arent an LA fake phony.

[@drchico40]

Bert is truly a man-child.

[@Yourmission9]

Man I was looking for a song I loved in my 20’s a few months back and I couldn’t find it, then I saw the Dilated Peoples album, 2001 worst comes to worst, thanks guys!

[@jeaniebird999]

My friend, Emily, is like Bert only 1000 times worse. I'm pretty sure I've never EVER finished a single story. It's sofa king frustrating.

[@ric0024]

Feels like I’m sitting in on a couples therapy session

[@bdrenfro]

Just realized Tom does have a rad taste in both music and cars.

[@tcritchfeld481]

Tom is the most normal out of all of them. He is a father that wants to be with his children.

[@afroman773]

35 seconds for Bert to take over the conversation for Tom

[@stephengutierrez9149]

I say this is the end of their friendship but not their profession one. Burt is so damn needy that he expects everyone to drop all for him and now his wife has to get involved just to sooth his massive ego and protect his feelings. I'm sure Tom will stay classy about it but you could tell he is tired of Burts shit already.

[@danielmeuler2877]

Bert is a Child. a spoiled, over grown child. Children think about one moment over everything and he ONLY thinks about himself.

[@paullmight42]

Bort interrupted enough times to make him flushed in the face...

[@chrisbenn6764]

I love these guys

[@jeeneeraykreenaldeen7979]

This is sooo funny. I can't wait to hear about what the royals are up to later

[@tschaderdstrom2145]

It's odd to me that they talk so much in public, but text in private when a simple phone call would've avoided this whole thing

[@Blackmegagun]

Tom would never be able to get his thoughts out if he called Bert. He barely speaks now and they're face to face

[@nicholassmith8212]

I know Bert is leaning into it but for God's sakes shut up for a second

[@walkertexasraymond]

Use to love 2 bears. But my god Bert’s shtick got old. Tom has the patience of a saint.

[@immoralreplicant1332]

I can relate. I also have a grown up child who still behaves like he's 15. There are days when you think life would be a hell of a lot easier if you could just stop loving them.

[@sambromley7394]

Tom looks healthier than ever and Bert looks like he’s on deaths door. Really sad honestly.

[@fabianc972]

Bert needs a notepad to write down his thoughts. You're killing us with the interruptions.

[@BRG13DEAN]

Leeann is obviously from the south from the way she handled it, respect

[@morganrichardson1645]

Bert should donate £1000 to charity everytime he interrupts

[@JT__Media]

I’d be hurt too tho. I get toms position but it’s also one of the biggest nights of his best friends life. I’d want my bestfriend there too

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

Right

[@BobaFett5474]

Do you think Tom goes home and tells Christine the other half of the story?

[@coleyamos]

Some people have a stable sense of self and others need validation.

[@nobelmartin7801]

I think Tom is such good friends with Brett that he’s just used to the way he talks

[@ClarkKyle]

Your wife has your back so much and this gives me hope for love lol. That’s amazing

[@telesto912]

Jesus Christ, Bert cannot stop interrupting.

[@williamthomas5215]

Bert pronouncing “probably” as “prollabee” at 2:24 is the most Brendan Schaub thing he’s ever done

[@Eriey3]

THIS COMMENT 😂

[@HCodude777]

This clip is the perfect example on why I don’t watch 2 bears when Bert is there. It’s un-fucking-bearable.

[@davidmetzler6670]

That analogy about “we’re gonna fv

[@KelpYT]

Bert's head looks like it is just bloated and filled up with tito's...

[@Kayluv101]

😂😂

[@cliftonfurney5083]

Could be the opiates. On somethings burning he scratches his face more than all of Kensington street

[@EL34XYZ]

Bert is still alive?

[@drew004jc]

I hope Bert reads comments

[@matttyschultz]

Why did they cut it off there??? WTF, man! Either way, I love the chemistry between these two.... It's comedic gold.

[@jddd12]

If only there was a full video of this somewhere

[@EikottXD]

Not sure why it was cut there.

[@artchesterfitzsimmonsiii4245]

i feel like NOBODY asked bert if tom was coming. he just invents these little snippets to try to have the appearance of telling a story

[@NickPR87]

So basically Tom got manipulated and guilt tripped to reschedule previous commitments to attend a stupid premiere. Cool!

[@amandaaguirre5306]

That's what I see too

[@corycollins1399]

For a movie about a story that he's heard like over a thousand times by now...smfh

[@ryanhansen1296]

Its Bert's world, we're just living in it.

[@nathancook7800]

You sound so fun

[@Bunslightyear]

If Tom made a movie, Bert would never have thought twice about if he should be at the premier

[@JakeRaymond7]

I wonder is Tom realizes how I suffer able Bert is when he’s not your friend already

[@AD-df5tm]

I love how they act like this is some crazy story or something. Its 2 people texting each other about meeting up. This happens to every adult every other week.

[@YaboiiB1gJ1uice]

Bert is the biggest baby.

[@garystein4973]

Full episode? Episode number?

[@jamesbowlin9666]

The story......Tom was on tour in Europe and bert is butt hurt that tom wanted to see his wife and kids instead of immediately flying to another state to watch bert's premier about a story that is 90% fiction. In short, bert is a child.

[@brandonball5971]

Bert has to learn how to listen. Dude i dont even watch 2 bears anymore unless its a guess with tom. That and ymh

[@Xplora213]

The best part about this is not the story or the interruption or Bert being so insane but rather that people are listening to this

[@johnmaurer3097]

I rage quit halfway through even though I was pretty interested in the story itself. I honestly can’t stand listening to bert anymore.

[@dancole5037]

The guy laughing in the background (almost every clip) is really trying to keep his job.

[@evanrichardson6584]

Bert would be nothing without Tom, and I don’t mean that in a comedy context

[@revengeancer2.019]

I’ve really respected Bert Kreischer’s liberal views on subjects such as child pornography laws being too harsh, being allowed to keep “certain people” out of our neighborhoods, and you are a *Champion* for going on record saying, “If we ban abortion, there will be more Mexicans.” You’re the hero we never needed and could never have done anything bad enough to deserve. Love you.

[@bochica3562]

Brent is too fat to do anything. The guy can barley speak between burps and moans. So it's just wannabe nazi talk, you know...? A tea cup doesn't make you the Führer.

[@HIWES433]

It's hard to take Bert seriously as a person. Crazy how everyone around Bert also tried to make him see that Tom was in the wrong.

[@Yzjoshuwave]

You realize that the messenger who told you this was Bert, right?

[@HIWES433]

@@Yzjoshuwave true true, very true

[@lumbago784]

Did that really just end while Tom was mid-sentence? Well crafted...

[@jeremymcclure3372]

Bert is a very needy friend 😅

[@samanthab1923]

So, we know Tom’s book did well. What about Bert’s movie? Are we in for 2 or Fat Astronauts?

[@knock4banquetmeals]

Tbh it was sounding like its not happening but Theo von and David spade just shot a movie so there might be a new joe dirt movie to look forward to

[@aamac80]

Bert is a Care Bear. Sensitivity Bear.

[@yamyamyams2629]

The "He just got home" part so reminds me of something my ex would say..

[@Asisya18]

Having grown up in a small community within Tampa and probably being no less than 7 degrees separated from Bert here (imma an 80's kid and knew a Jesuit grad or two), I can tell you his whole persona is very much a Tampa guy thing. Bert's are a dime a dozen in that area. There's one of them in every clique. This conversation was nails on the chalkboard hard to listen to...

[@SeeStuDo]

How come Burnt wasn’t at Toms Book thing?

[@nicholasming5976]

Tom segura fans are ruthless. I love it

[@Stank.Turner]

Bert doesn’t have a shred of self esteem. He wants so badly to be liked that he insists on interrupting every guest and co host to shoehorn in himself

[@eric_casper5150]

What was the funniest was Tom jetted right to the after party without Bert even knowing. Didn’t even say anything right after the movie just jetted to the after party. 😂

[@SCUFFEDAUSSIE]

and now Tom probably wishes he didn't come 🤣🤣🤣

[@gbuddah]

How in the hell could anyone be friends with this guy?

[@wentwonn1668]

Bert literally tells stories like a toddler repeating shit over and over skipping over words never finishing a complete thought

[@John-Doe-Yo]

Lol fr. Always building up the whole story with every detail and once it’s over you’re left thinking “that’s it?”

[@matthewobrien6802]

My wife yells at me all the time for not caring about people’s birthdays. The truth is I could care less if anyone wishes me a happy birthday.

[@krotchlickmeugh627]

Same. Well kinda. I actually hate my birthday. Imagine a set day of the year where you have to get gifts from loved ones that you really don't need. While remembering all the loved ones that wished you a happy birthday but never will again from your past. Remembering that you haven't made it another year and it's a celebration of your life. But one day closer to your inevitable death and a reminder that even all you have become and accomplished. It's never going to be good enough. Hurry! Blow out the candles! Yay your a year away from another sad day. I love other people's birthdays because you can see the same thoughts silently tormenting them in their heads. But you get to give them a gift that they hate but have to pretend to like. Or that's so good. They atleast for a day forget about the struggles. But remember that maybe you haven't given them random loving small gifts when you thought of them through the year. Only on this one day. The whole thing is pretty twisted.

[@davidchoi6263]

Two guys tell each other their funny.

[@mattcousins621]

Oooh, Tom almost got a full sentence in there...keep trying buddy, you'll get one eventually

[@run876945]

Bert looks rough

[@danieldominguez3460]

“Tell the story from the beginning” ….so I can interrupt - Bert