Chris Distefano's TRAUMATIC Night Out | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Highlight

[@calebfernandez7782]

I'm so glad Bert was not around to hear this story because he would have interrupted it immediately and ruined it all 😂

[@capncrunch6422]

I was thinking the same thing. He definitely would have tried to make it about him lol

[@kurt9034]

I read this comment at the beginning and now at the end you are so right. He would have killed that story soooo fast

[@wingersdingers]

Because the word LIkE 40 million times doesn't ruin it already.....

[@idontknow2stoned]

It's a lie anyways.

[@Peppavicious]

I came to the comments looking for this comment lol

[@nickdicrescenzo770]

This is one of the most wild stories I've ever heard.

[@TheReturnOfBloodyJack]

yeah it’s almost… unbelievable

[@CherrrrBear]

@@TheReturnOfBloodyJack 😂 riiight

[@Lgo559]

Definitely one of the tallest tales😂

[@RANINGHAVOC]

@@TheReturnOfBloodyJack You know how comedy works right? 99% of comics stories are highly embellished if not completely made up. Everyone feels like they discovered gold when they point out the stories aren't 100% real

[@stevc1122]

Yeah but when comics are on stage telling an obviously embellished or made up story for the purposes of entertaining a crowd it's different. This is a one on one podcast where it's assumed the stories would not be made up and its a lot more personal. That's why when he goes into his stage material telling a story like that in this setting it seems a lot more like a guy just lying his ass off and making up a story.

[@codytaylor7861]

Chris is a real one for warning that guy about the AIDs tbh.

[@Furio666]

Ikr it was the first thing on his mind🤣

[@tychols]

I forgot this was a suey wuey story until “I bid you both, a farewell!” 100% I loose my bowels.

[@xRip666x]

Yeah it was such a fucking great story and my fat ass was salivating over the ranch dip and warm pita, I forgot it was a suey wuey too x)

[@ludmillagutomo]

aaah..so that's how we spell suey wuey 😂😂😂

[@jusbamathy1355]

@@ludmillagutomo I was thinking the same! 🤣🤣🤣

[@TL2354]

Lose

[@MyhorseInthegravy]

Only Chrissy could call suicide suiee -wooey lmao

[@johnfuller183]

Chris is seriously one of the greatest story tellers I've ever heard

[@idontknow2stoned]

Lmfaooooo!!!!!! Hes trash and bombs on everything he does.

[@ludmillagutomo]

yes! i still laugh every time i watch his 9/11 story 🤣🤣🤣

[@jacobbrown3242]

its fake

[@kevinlajoie2966]

like, like, the worst, like, like, I can't even like, believe you like, said that, like..

[@johnfuller183]

@@kevinlajoie2966 umm.. ok

[@everything...interesting]

The truth: Chrissy just told this story to try and convince his cousin Mark that he's not gay

[@mackieincsouthsea]

"100%, not even kidding, all facts. It happened" 😅

[@steph7960]

And incase the story got out. Said it himself u have to throw an atom bomb in to cover the truth lol.

[@MrVovansim]

That was some killer ranch all over his lips though.

[@thedouglaspodcast]

@@mackieincsouthsea 1:44 when Bobby Lee says that literally every single story he tells on podcasts is a 100% complete lie (to save his ass 💀) ..and now comics need to preface stories with that 🤣🤣💀 I cannot. People probably hear any of these stories now and they think.. _hmmm 🤔 how much of this is utter BS?_

[@mackieincsouthsea]

@@thedouglaspodcast Ikr, Bobby says some wildddd bullshit. As much as he's helped create some funny moments, I've always felt he was kinda creepy

[@elijahleeking5648]

I just love Tom. So good at facilitating the story. King of the, “yes and…” Not to mention, Chris is one of the best story tellers of all time.

[@TonyC317]

When Chris drops that bomb at 8:19.. I immediately got an ad and then my face looked exactly like Tom’s 💀

[@KaninTuzi]

They must have placed the ad there on purpose

[@matthewroreilly]

That ad was kinda nice, gives you a good 10 seconds to process it lmao

[@ARestlessDreamer425]

I literally got an ad for PreP when this happened😂

[@JDHURF]

One of the wildest stories I've heard in a while and goddamn can Chris tell a gripping story, masterful story telling here!!

[@ryansavoy469]

wait does that mean berts gay? he loves his body and taking his shirt off. its starting to make sense now.

[@yougotmycheezewizboy]

One hundred percent

[@elijah2118]

No wonder he can't cheat on LeAnn

[@whooptydoo6256]

Please, everyone knows Berts gay.

[@timothykappel198]

He's also delusional asf

[@timothykappel198]

But it's kinda the same thing tho right?

[@nighttrain1565]

This was probably my favorite segment of two bears ever. The way he told this story had me enthralled at work, I was dying laughing and forgot where I even was

[@DesertDweller1776]

13:38 anytime a comedian says “I swear this is a true story” I immediately think he’s making it up on the spot.

[@TL2354]

I don’t

[@supremebuffalo6322]

Yea, I have the same thought. Chris says that a lot. But I'm pretty sure I've heard him tell this story identically a year or two ago. It would've changed slightly if it was made up. I'm open to the possibility its made up but I *think* its true

[@-KYUSS-]

I have not laughed out loud to a story on a podcast in so long. The way it was told was gold. Thank you for sharing this Chris, I’m genuinely in tears 😂

[@maatnessmonster7603]

I had to stop in the middle of my workout and damn near barf because the phrase "sooey wooey" had me laughing so hard.

[@adamgee7755]

Love this story. Heard the podcast today and had to see the video to go along with it. Was not disappointed. Made my gf cry laughing and she usually pretends to hate the stuff i'm into. Well done Chris, will see you in Aus soon. Tom, thanks for making the trip down, you were great!

[@joedolfJuiiceler]

Maybe your girl hates like just you.

[@andreanaylor4773]

Chris was born for literally this reason. To tell stories and be who he is. I have no words for how hilarious this man is 😂😂😂 unbelievable

[@deneilbaker]

This was one of the most breathtaking stories I’ve ever heard. I was so tuned in the entire time. I’m so glad he was able to tell it without interruption.

[@Hostile_Ink]

Best ad break I've ever witnessed.

[@chrisdavis273]

“Careful he’s got AIDS” lol

[@travisfox]

As Chrissy said "I also gave you aids" - it cut to an ad... KZbin has finally achieved comedic timing.

[@noahquigley4773]

Underrated comment

[@lukefarness4593]

I love Tom but the response to the most insane story ever…”has your thumb ever slipped and accidentally followed someone?”

[@kalki-13]

Yo, the timing of the Ad is insane. 🤯

[@MrsEarthtoEmily]

After 13 minutes of unbelievable stuff... "This is where it gets unbelievable..."

[@nachomansandyravage2346]

Listened to this story 3 times, still locks me in. Chrissy is one of the best story tellers

[@Bowlos0428]

This is one of the funniest story I’ve heard 😂

[@johndreasher5300]

Sounds like a Quinton Tarantino movie to me! Had me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what's going to happen next! Has to be the craziest story I've heard in a while!

[@TL2354]

Does it?

[@bambus_ross]

Chrissy StoryTells. He's so good at telling stories man. Also that is wilddd.

[@LongNeckLives]

I have a headache from laughing so hard after "Careful! He has AIDS!"

[@Selmeister15]

I was drinking boba while listening to the podcast and when he mentioned he’s got aids i spat out a few pearls 😂😂

[@kermainejelly]

This is easily the craziest story I've heard in my life so far

[@EikottXD]

Haven't lived much life yet huh?

[@EikottXD]

Never seen a school shooting on the news or read about a serial killer? This is easily the craziest story you've heard huh... Jews in gas chambers? Stop saying stupid things.

[@kermainejelly]

@@EikottXD I mean in recent years it is but like...I guess I haven't hahahaha

[@braydenfury9272]

​@Eikott you really acting like this story is a common occurrence

[@kermainejelly]

@@braydenfury9272 RIGHT!

[@MattyV6]

Frank: “you know what Johnny, I am cheating on you, and guess what, I gave you aids” Ad: “hersheys cookies and cream is filled with everything”

[@scottmanring4768]

Omg this has to be my favorite episode

[@Moon-be6wp]

This might be the craziest story I’ve ever heard on ymh This needs millions of views

[@seemeburn]

I randomly came across this video and listen to the whole thing, and I have to say it was a quite captivating story!

[@harrisongreenway2592]

Medic in NYC, this is one of the best EMS stories I’ve ever heard.

[@mikealwisdom5167]

“That’s why you would always like fkn rub my leg on the road and shit. Just slowly massage my balls. I thought it was bcz we were boys and you said you were into like you know healing.” 💀💀💀 I spit my fkn drink out I swear! 😂

[@TL2354]

Why are you swearing?

[@CherrrrBear]

8:25 I’d stop eating too 😂😂😂 what the actual fuck toms reaction got me

[@coopersmith8216]

Thank the lord Bert wasn’t here to interrupt this wild story

[@mysstories2533]

i came back to this multiple times this is the sixth time, and i love the the delivery and i am french.... this is how you should tell the story!!! all the time i was like how th'ats gonna end? lol

[@alec6948]

Anybody else realize that Frank is actually Tim Dillon?

[@Bigjokerjoe]

I figured one of them was Matteo Lane

[@speedrob]

love to see the bodycam from the cops lol Chris panicking telling the EMTs the guy's got AIDS with the dude yelling in the background

[@scambaitnaansense512]

Good luck if it actually happened could be FOIA requested

[@shilohwehrmacht2947]

​@@scambaitnaansense512 this was pre 2018 there might not have been cam footage

[@lilguaro]

He told the guy whose balcony it was when he came out the the guy had AIDS not the EMTs

[@3005lives4you]

This is better than "The Machine" story.

[@johnbroe]

Sui-woowy had me dying. "Fuck I think I broke my legs." buried me six feet under.

[@peterkovic2241]

This is the best story I've heard Chris tell, and he's told some bangers. WILD night!

[@dakotalowe1194]

8:19 "I also have you AIDS!" There's never been a more perfectly timed ad interruption! Damn that was like the cliff hanger ending to a great TV episode! 😂

[@jlllx]

WAYYY better than The Machine story.

[@carolinHR]

this might be the best story i’ve ever heard

[@R.m.laughin]

20/10 clip. Chris was INCREDIBLE and Tom was a great host. Please please PLEASE have Chris back on someday 🙏 Too funny

[@FoxIslandRailroadCo]

Chrissy is simply the best storyteller in the game

[@rawsko0316]

We need Nadavs live reaction vid to this

[@emily4gov007]

“I’ve ranched it.” Oh, this phrase is about to get integrated into my daily life. Thank you.

[@NecroBurt]

Chrissy’s dad has the answer “make the sign of the cross!”

[@brooke6198]

It is CRAZY that I got an ad at 8:19 😂who made that decision

[@BigRokko5196]

He said "Johnny, she said..." 😂😂 Tf

[@negativeindustrial]

He’s so gay.

[@mikeymainstreet569]

Best story I've ever heard

[@CamperVanClark]

Hahaha! This is one of if not the most wild stories I've ever heard! Thank you. Incredible. I thought I had a wild life. I got stories but this one is wild!

[@OftenGreenLaflippadoos]

Sooooooo I've actually seen a suey woowie similar to this. I watched a man climb on top of a Penske Truck (to get over the overpass safety railing) and jump off a beautiful double arched bridge in Oceanside , CA. He rag dolled when he hit the first side embankment and then landed on the south bound freeway side. I was with my dad full view going down the Southbound side of the freeway. My Dad and I ran across both freeway sides and were first to respond. He was long gone. 56 years old.

[@royvelazquez4275]

“Cus we were boys” 😂😂 the best!

[@toalladepapel]

i've never seen the video only listened to the pod and this is fucking amazing

[@josephedwarddowling5919]

Greatest story ever. The first cousin showing up is the best.

[@maddiemorales4265]

“I was in Tuscaloosa and ate some farmers ass” 😂

[@BigWrangler]

Gonna write my Suwey Wuwey letter tomorrow.

[@allrightspreserved4766]

I watch this at least twice a week. It fills me with inexorable joy 😂

[@bryanh9064]

Love the Pete Rock album in the background

[@crashfistfight]

1:40 Anytime someone says this before telling you a story they are about to tell you a fake story

[@tracihoeflick666]

This is a fantastic example of why i dont drink anymore......also, best god damn storyteller EVER

[@senecaclark5776]

This story is hands down. The wildest shit I’ve ever heard.

[@d4mdcykey]

Tommy needs to come back down to NC and hangout; honestly this sounds like a regular weekend around here.

[@psytron939]

When Chrissy's Psychologist told him he should be a Comic, they were fucking dead on 😂 you cant NOT be one with stories like this, too muhc of a wild life to let it to to waste without telling the world theses crazy stories.

[@marvinherrera3965]

That Pete rock and cl smooth album makes me so happy. Tom, have you ever had a Tupac album up there? Or maybe like an Arrested Development album? Happy of your music taste

[@kendigjl]

That was one of the greatest stories I've ever heard.

[@CalebsCars]

I love listening to his stories, and love Tom. Bert is hard to take

[@supriyo_431]

fuck!!! i broke my legs!!!!,,,,, 😹😹😹man i cant stop laughing....omg..

[@zillozitto]

ca someone name me the brand of the glasses that chris is wearing ?

[@larissaaugustus5714]

Thank you.

[@bryguy87]

Chris has sooo many stories but this is by far my favorite one. (And I’m a babe fan)

[@lukie2txmes775]

"...I was in Tuscaloosa!" 😅😂😂😅

[@kingantonio9016]

15:01 when he said “I got ranch dip which looks like cum all over my lips” I started crying laughing. Top Tier story

[@BenAoA]

One of THE funniest stories I’ve ever heard. Seriously almost popped a bollock from laughing so hard!!!!😅😅

[@RamseyArt]

Greatest story I have ever heard!

[@everything...interesting]

Nadav: **always laughs** Chrissy: "...gay like nadav gay" Nadav: **doesn't laugh**

[@thomasschweda5104]

Nadav wasn't there, he was in rehab, ya chooch.

[@everything...interesting]

@@thomasschweda5104 didn't ur mom ever teach u to never ruin a good story with the facts?

[@boxie13]

@@thomasschweda5104 right rehab….

[@saulalta75]

Yo, they should animate this story. Talk about an emotional roller coaster comedy!

[@OneEyedJackNLD]

3:00 Now I’m sure I’m straight too 😂

[@4Everlast]

This guy was almost Captain America you guys. 😂 It would be an unintentionally perfect choice for the US.

[@Scott-fy7fm]

Chrissy and Tim Dillon would be a very entertaining gay couple who constantly argue

[@jackogood]

decently big distefano fan here, i cannot believe ive never heard this before. This is absolutely insane

[@tonyfauci9963]

He did not have a compound fracture- and Chris gave it away when he said they were on vacation two weeks later

[@BonnChnd]

Tom didn’t seem to enjoy this story as much as we did….I wonder why? I mean that was hilarious.

[@phil_fr6732]

That's because he smelled the bullshit

[@NinjaNerosis]

And to be fair, saying "don't touch him he has aids" is the only acceptable thing you could have said in that moment lol

[@tamikajoseph6127]

Chris has the best stories.

[@nathanpetronzio6442]

Give me Chrissy BolognaNips stories all day over Bert’s one single story 😂😂😂😂😂

[@IncomingGame23]

I was ENRAPTURED by this story. What the FUCK

[@Firewingg95]

There is nothing crazier than that straight up.

[@jackdoe552]

Distefano is a top tier guest.

[@jakecongleton7108]

This has to be one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard

[@leocordero2517]

Thank GOD Burnt wasn’t there to interrupt and try to top his story

[@cainanpatterson4033]

My jaw is to the fucking floor and my eyes are so damn open when I watched this, Jesus Christ 😂

[@albinorhino7779]

Chris has way to many “I swear I’m not gay” moments.

[@Frank-it9kl]

That was wild dude.

[@thomasfisher763]

Suie-wooie has to be the funniest way I've ever heard someone reference suicide lol