Too Many Messaging Apps are DESTROYING Social Media

Back in my day, to message people you either sent them a 25p text message, tried to instant message them on MSN or perhaps send a message on Facebook. Fast forward to 2024 and every single website and social media also has an instant messenger attached which can also be used to make group chats. This ease of access might be seen as a good thing, but it makes us largely ignore our messages as we are overwhelmed with constant non-stop notifications and DMs begging for our attention.
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.00:00:00 - Messaging Apps have gone too far
00:03:50 - I am overwhelmed by messages
00:04:50 - It wasn't always like this
00:09:10 - The Rise of Facebook Messenger and Whatsapp
00:12:30 - Its makes Social Media anti-social
00:15:40 - We ignore all our messages
00:19:00 - I recommend this
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[@NHarts3]

Every social media is morphing into a messaging app while every messaging app is morphing into a social media app. Like why does whatsapp have channels and status and freakin ai-integrated search. I hate it so much. They are all just clones of each other at this point.

[@Pensushets]

I knoooooow!! Like tf? As an east coast Hispanic, WhatsApp is a must but now there's this bs and I caaannot deal, that search bar is so aggravating to me 😂

[@NHarts3]

@Pensushets switching your WhatsApp language will actually get rid of the AI search. I switched mine to Spanish and it's just a regular search bar now. I think its because the AI is probably difficult to implement on non-english languages

[@frohnatur9806]

That's because "capitalism breeds innovation"

[@hikelfin5941]

The reason is to increase your screen time. They are willing to give you a messaging feature like Instagram, but it necessitates having to open the news feed to get to chats, which is then algorithmically inclined to have very attractive reels up for you to watch.

[@pokemonmtg2468]

The carcinisation of social media

[@GuyWhoLikesTheSnarkies1435]

It's honestly quite scary how capitalism, in the form of attention economy, dabbles on the commodification of even the basic human needs such as social interaction. The way it incentivizes ease on artificial engagement on a regular basis, that our social interaction must always emphasize benefits, self-gratification or even profits as our main motivation only further erodes the abstract, intrinsic value of social interaction itself that could only be made sense through the unique way that our human brain and psyche process it. It further desensitizes us from our own conscience, empathy, logic, critical thinking and even the capacity to dialectically understand the ever-changing reality in this world.

[@Virjunior01]

But reality has not changed. What HAS is capitalism finding out ways to extract more resources in the form of our very _time._

[@bertbaker7067]

You ain't lying. It's part of the reason I stopped believing that socialism is "inevitable." Hopefully I'm wrong.

[@ishisu_]

im diagnosed with combined ADHD, im a 26 years old woman, i have severe executive dysfunction and cant get anything done without medication, it really affects every area of my life. And everything you are describing about ignoring people because you're getting prepared to answer averyone at once is SOOOOO relatable to my experience nowadays. I used to be obsessed with messaging my close friends regularly, i loved socializing with the people i love. But since i hit my twenties I just feel extremely exhausted to reply just a couple of messages per day. I still love my close friends but im tired, so tired. The only people i ve the energy to answer DAILY is just my parents and bf. I honestly thought this was a consequence of aging with adhd, as it can get worse in some areas as you age and unlearn to mask. So i just assumed i was getting worse in socializing. Im really surprised to hear you and other people here also get this level of overwhelmed that you just stop answering for days or weeks on end. I guess the capitalist worldwide web is raising a whole generation of chemical altered brains, that shit will and already does forever alter the developement of our brains, it cant handle all the stimuli, late stage capitalism is f scary and equaly rotted, we are screwed

[@dliap98]

YES this is so real. I have 2 or 3 days a week where I sit down (usually on the toilet if I'm being honest, for some reason it feels like less effort) and reply to all of my friends and family's messages. if I'm busy then it's more like once a week. it takes so long because I will avoid opening messages all week because it feels like so much effort. I'm honestly glad it's not just me because I feel so guilty about it sometimes

[@frohnatur9806]

At least you're not alone. A better world is possible! A big question is how to deradicalize fascists, because most of them are just common people corrupted by all the propaganda, not realizing that they're acting against their own interests

[@annjepsen1621]

Same here!

[@frohnatur9806]

My comment got deleted. You're not alone! A better world is possible. The question is how to de-radicalice the many common people who became corrupted by capitalist and fash propaganda

[@arithmetikmilitantpoetry9548]

Omg Same here. I just shut down then binge aka eventually Marathon replying to everything. List my Phone for a Couple Weeks and it was wierd. I wish i didnt have one honestly

[@AtomikNY]

I miss the days when you could ignore the telephone ringing and just tell the person later that you weren’t home when they called. I hate how, in general, you’re supposed to be accessible 24/7/365. It feels like my privacy has, in part, been infringed upon forever.

[@Ashley.D]

I've never related to anything less. Nobody messages me except my mum every month or so, so I guess that's an upside of having no life

[@teedjay91]

Thanks, I'm not alone... in being alone

[@leinad2934]

I have like 5 people who I message with regularly and I only like talking to one of them. Sometimes I wish I could ghost the other ones lol

[@a-rab7761]

@@teedjay91fucking best comment I’ve ever seen 😭

[@liz_loves_cats]

I only have like 3 friends I talk to regularly but those 3 friends and I run into this exact problem all of the time because we take turns blowing each other's socials up and exhausting each other. Even when you have a small world it can be too much

[@brooksiebabyy]

i had a friend who would only use facebook messenger because she "could see when anyone read the message." ok hahah thanks for the added anxiety.

[@dagfinissocool]

if you just read the message on the notification on your phone it won't register as read

[@brooksiebabyy]

@@dagfinissocool that's what i resorted to which is insane. it doesn't matter now we're no longer friends.

[@dagfinissocool]

@@brooksiebabyy For me it doesn't matter who sent it I won't open until I'm mentally prepared for them seeing it, it's a huge pain which is why I only use text message. I hope you've made some better frienda:)

[@frohnatur9806]

She could see when anyone had "read" her message. A big part of the problem is that, as soon as you (maybe accidentally) open that message, it counts as "read". Sometimes you don't have the time to actually read the message, especially when it's longer than expected, and sometimes answering the message requires some extra effort. That's why I turn off "read" status everywhere I can

[@vansdan.]

i turn that off on EVERYTHING if its an option. if its not, uninstalled (snapchat)

[@johnaarson]

"What is the solution?" - For me the solution was to remove myself from all social media around 8-9 years ago. I don't know if it is a good solution because it basically meant that I was taking myself away from society. I have barely spoken to most of my friends and almost all my acquaintances. That was the price I had to pay for and part of me doesn't like that. It helped with my anxiety but it probably worsened my depression, so, yeah. I don't think there is a solution. We just have to choose the less shitty way to cope with this new reality. As humans we are not ready for the insane pace that our social lives are evolving with the help of technology and I don't even imagine how the social world will be in 20 or 30 years. This is depressing.

[@AutMouseLabs]

I made a similar decision about 5 years ago. It is isolating and also freeing. I am not sure there is a perfect answer just a series of compromises.

[@johnaarson]

@@AutMouseLabs Yes, it is freeing indeed! Just the time thinking that I haven't answered in a day, in a week, in two weeks is so fucking stressful for no reason. Screw that! It is a prison.

[@dliap98]

I've honestly thought about doing this, at least partially. not sure if it's feasible because I'm in uni but man it just seems like it could be sort of freeing. I've heard a lot of my friends saying they feel the same

[@lokouba]

I use WhatsApp, Discord and KZbin exclusively. I only truly need to use WhatsApp, the other two are for fun.

[@hikelfin5941]

KZbin is a social media platform. You're not off social media if you're in a KZbin comment section

[@CaptainDock44]

For me it's the worst with instagram because multiple friends are sending me multiple reels a day, which means serious time investment into checking all of them. So i just anxiously see all the reels pile up, until it's suddenly three weeks later and i have like 30 minutes of reels from three different friends... Becomes a damn chore instead of being a fun time. Also it leads to me never sending my friends any reels, because it feels weird to send them something without checking their reels first, because that would lead to cluttering the chat even more!!

[@zwicker5585]

I think people need to understand that you don't need to everything interesting online. People are addicted to their phones

[@goosewithagibus]

Who are these average Americans with 47 unread messages?? I don't have a single one! My best friends message me every day but other than that it's just spam and the occasional text from parents and grandparents. Do ya'll have that many friends??? God damn it I'm a loser. No wonder people don't reply to me, they have 50 other people I'm competing with and I ain't gonna win that competition.

[@teedjay91]

Thi average must be skewed by few peoples with thousands of unread message while most people have none?! I'm having the same introspection as you honestly! I can't wrap my head around 47 unread messages as an average XD

[@desertels5119]

Tbh I have unopened messages from from people who i don't know (thanks facebook) - so thatbmight be skewing the stat

[@ericktellez7632]

Not American but I have over 80 thousand unread mail on my gmail

[@irregularstuff5290]

Average american has 4 undead messages, Unread Georg with 5 600 000 unread messages is an outlier and should not be counted.

[@Neo_Geisha]

Nah, I don't think that's the case. The majority of people I know my age or younger only have a few close friends.

[@IndellableHatesHandles]

"Everyone has access to you 24/7" But the real question is, do they _want_ access to me 24/7? (The answer is no. My DMs are empty)

[@purpleprinc3]

🎶All by myself, don't wanna be 🎵

[@anotherspaceboy]

Yeah, the solution is just to have no friends. I never have unopened messages because I have no messages at all.

[@zwicker5585]

@@anotherspaceboy or just be normal and set different expectations? none of my friends expect a response quickly and same with me

[@sugarjxd]

You have perfectly described the overwhelm of constant accessibility to being contacted. Message paralysis actually hurts my irl relationships because I have this unconscious hesitancy to get more connected with people because Im trying to maintain that boundary. It actually discourages me from going on non-anonymous social media. Idk if the benefit of avoiding those social medias outweighs the damage it does to my mindset to make and maintain new friends. Life is just so overwhelming. There is never a break.

[@ericktellez7632]

The grip WhatsApp has on the global south is genuinely devious work.

[@kai_plays_khomus]

I have way more than 1000 unread WhatsApp messages because about one year ago it became incredibly difficult to me to keep up such contacts - I didn't even dare to just open the app although I didn't know such struggles priviously, but I didn't feel well in general. A few months ago I learned that I wasn't only ADHD but an autist as well and appearently I just couldn't deal with it any longer, I couldn't maintain appearence and adhere to social expectations any longer because without knowing it I was so incredibly exhausted from masking. It's quite comforting to see that I'm not the only one and presumably sharing the experience with neurotypical people as well.

[@brodieorr5393]

i definitely feel this. i'm constantly battling between wanting to stay in touch and feeling too overwhelmed by the discord/group chats. I really just need to get it through my head that any good friends would understand that you don't owe all of your time to a group, and showing up at all is enough. I've been caught in that awkward place where i was depressed and hadn't talked to my friend group for a while, and it feels awkward to just show up after being off the grid for so long, but they're always happy to see me and welcome me back, as any good friends should be.

[@unfriendlyatheist616]

No Friends Much Better🙂💙free Palestine 🇵🇸

[@cloudycolacorp]

This sounds like the problems of someone with lots of friends lol

[@blu8993]

For real I don't have many friends and we mainly chat on discord.

[@damakuno]

I'm over here being like DMs? What DMs?

[@purpleprinc3]

@@damakuno I got this bro, it's Dungeon Master!

[@PGOuma]

That article is so relatable because I definitely need my breaks. Not only am I a people pleaser but I have social anxiety so sometimes I don't get back to people until a day sometimes three days later and then people get mad at me as if I'm not already fighting through my draining battery to respond to them to begin with. It's exhausting and frustrating at the same time. And I hate that people feel entitled to your time literally 24/7... I miss the old times at times like this...

[@lilmorsecody]

its the concept of people having access to me that gives me so much personal anxiety. I literally seize up a bit when my phone rings. It's dread that someone wants my attention and likely more. The way phone calls can come out of the blue with no warning, it feels like someone suddenly trying to get in my door?? It disturbs my peace entirely. I honestly just don't want to have a phone number but there's no way to live otherwise. I might just limit myself to a business phone God knows but I don't want to live like this😂😂

[@SuperNicktendo]

As someone who lived until 25 before social media, going back to what it was before has been so liberating. I'm using my phone less and less and only have notifications just for my wife. I suggest setting an hour of time on your day to respond to stuff. Part of me learning self care is to create time boundaries for certain things because it's so easy to spend all your free time on worthless things.

[@p.chuckmoralesesquire3965]

Was just wondering this same thing 20 minutes ago, why do I need FB messenger, texting, chat for work, etc etc etc

[@dliap98]

i honestly just don't want people to expect me to constantly be checking my phone, and expect a response from me within an hour. or to expect that i've watched their story. i really just want to be able to do my own thing for the day if i want to and not be stressed that someone might be wanting an urgent response. i find it so tiring

[@NotDaveGahan]

I’ve always struggled with anxiety and instant messaging is one of the worst things to be normalized because I really being constantly alert with several messages from several people is overwhelming and a lot of people take it personally when you don’t reply immediately.

[@samuelrosander1048]

I used to get a burst of energy when getting responses, but over time and with experience in Quora and YT comments sections learned that an awful lot of people are toxic, don't know anything, etc, and it made me dread seeing responses. So much exposure to toxicity and braindead responders gave me a degree of PTSD, so eventually I "quit Quora" almost entirely, and I stopped obsessing over responding in YT comments even in conversations I appreciate. It's pretty rough dealing with that, so I can't imagine how rough it must be dealing with hundreds/day.

[@purpleprinc3]

I'm shadowbanned so I rarely see reply to my comments, I miss the toxicity, it's what got me up in the morning!

[@gemain609]

Lol I turned off comment reply notifications on most apps and turned them off for posts on Reddit. So much nicer that way

[@sarah30932]

“There’s no solutions, only problems” yep 🤣

[@migoreng7789]

i refused to use messenger and it caused me actual problems at uni because people wouldn't text me, only used fb/messenger. 'why you're ignoring me?' bro i'm not on fb 24/7... and as time went by facebook made messaging people on mobile using the website super annoying and later almost impossible... they force you to install the app 💀

[@erinl4111]

I'm an old person so most of my life was free of the internet, social media, and messaging. About a decade ago I said that people have become proxies for interacting with our phones and other devices. People are mostly interested in their phones buzzing and beeping and getting that sweet sweet dopamine hit. This tech overwhelm is rotting our brains and eroding our relationships.

[@zorufoxthing1688]

One really concerning thing I read is how psychologists have noticed people get anxious without their phones because they see them as physical extensions of themselves 😬

[@annjepsen1621]

I am someone who often misplaces their phone and it absolutely gives me anxiety when I do. I don't *need* to have it in my hands constantly, but I do need to keep it close. ​@@zorufoxthing1688

[@michaelcorcoran8768]

​ I mean it's sort of like if you're a smoker. If you don't have your cigarettes. Or if you wear glasses and you can't find your glasses. You know basically we carry around these magic boxes that have the sum of all human information. So it's a hard thing to go with that when you're used to having it. Even if it's just a fidget with on your board. But what really frightens me in the US is the complete cultural obsession with apple in particular which has a closed app store, which doesn't allow you to download any app you want, which doesn't even really let you own your own phone . People just buy it and they assume if you don't buy one you're poor. Even though the best Android phones are more expensive than the best iPhones and have better specs, better cameras, higher resolutions, etc. @@zorufoxthing1688

[@Neo_Geisha]

​@@zorufoxthing1688Holy shit that is terrifying but also explains so much.

[@altlover85]

If it wasn't for my phone, I wouldn't be able to stay in touch with my family and friends since I live hundreds of miles away from them now.

[@maineaglexproductions4025]

WAKE UP COMRADES, KAV UPLOAD!

[@conrad4222]

Wow, this video makes me anxious for all the messages I'm actively and passively ignoring

[@cupcakesoup]

I have the lovely combination of having ADHD and the anxiety that comes with it, doing professional work that involves social media marketing myself, and being a woman that just sometimes really really does not make me want to open DMs. I have to be in the right headspace, and it's so frustrating that we have created this culture of "respond to me right now and always be available or I'll get angry." Like, no, maybe I was reading a good book or enjoying a day with my family. Corporations having such control over your time and your life really can't be healthy. Some days I just want to unplug, and I feel like I'm the weird one for not just being beholden to a notification.

[@michaelserwetnyk1607]

Grad student here. It’s stuff like this that really makes me regret giving my boss/PI my phone number back in the day. Thankfully he’s never texted me, but the fact that, generally speaking, your boss can just contact you at any point, even outside of “standard” working hours, really sucks. It doesn’t make a good combo with the perpetual feeling you get from the need to always be doing something productive, even in your downtime.

[@jakaotter]

Something I always hear from folks that sticks with me is the idea that we're almost always reachable, on-call, or available 24/7. It's only been a recent thing, while in the past, you would catch someone on the street in person or visit them at their house. I think this is where the idea of us having an avoidance type of anxiety towards messaging apps, where the exact reason is different from person to person, yet it's a common thing among people. I rarely get this myself as the only messaging platform I use is Discord. Other social media apps I use like KZbin, Reddit, and rarely Bluesky I just use for content, I barely reach out to users on those sites, and if someone reaches out to me, I just make it a point to bring the conversation to a close. Though even on Discord, of the servers I'm in, I'll see a conversation going on in a server and just lurk in it, sometimes not engaging in the 50+ messages because it's just too much at that point. Just some thoughts, not really a cohesive point to be made.

[@antokkis]

ive been debating removing myself from social media completely, and i think this is confirmation for that. :-/ it's honestly so SO exhausting to exist online, people constantly having access to me, and it being sort of.. accepted for you to give access to yourself. i enjoyed this video so much. thank you. ❤

[@mai8013]

16:11 not just time out of your day but also the emotional energy to deal with both the negative things you want to avoid as well as the positive things you need to be in a good mood for, it's like you have to be everything all at once, you have to be ready to celebrate your friends achievements and also deal with a difficult conversation you've been trying to prepare yourself emotionally for all in one sitting because if you're gonna reply to one then you have to reply to all and it's just insanely overwhelming and so demanding and taxing all the time. I'm so glad I watched this video, for years now, the sound, vibration or even just color change on my phone that signals a notification has been something that is intensely anxiety-inducing and just makes me want to avoid everything and not respond to anyone even the people I actually do want to respond to, and it makes me feel so guilty all the time so I continue to make the effort to keep up with my messages but the second I start delaying one message it just piling on and then it becomes harder to open those messages because I feel bad for having taken too long without opening them, it's a constant demand for your continued high-level of attention and presence without allowing you any space for just yourself, yet I still feel guilty to be even complaining about this.

[@UncomfortableGinger]

I’m treating many emails like messages from messenger apps. There are too many messages from too many people, all demanding varying amounts of mental energy. I want to ignore all of them but feel like an jerk when I don’t thoughtfully reply to people 😭

[@WriterMarkusRegius]

I was born in 1988, I had friends as a kid that I wrote actual physical letters to. I remember vividly when I started communicating with some over email, and I was stressed about answering an email I had gotten maybe the day before, and my mom said something along the lines of "if they could wait a few weeks for a letter, they can wait a few more hours for an email." At the time I didn't agree, but I think about that often when I or someone else starts a message saying "sorry it took so long to answer," and it's been, like, 2 hours. I luckily don't use that many messaging apps, it's basically Messenger and Discord, but I recently disabled the function in Messenger that lets people see when I'm active or if I've read their messages, and that has reduced my stress tremendously. It also means I can't see if others have read my messages or if they're active, and honestly that is also a lot nicer than I thought it would be. Anyway, I'm only 6 minutes into the video, I will continue now 😅

[@valentinchappa6702]

I remember when i was a kid, a single text cost 25 cents. Insane. Now unlimited talk and text is the standard.

[@gonzopatra]

Jeez, I’ve had Do Not Disturb mode on (with concessions for immediate family, nobody else) for the last two years tbh It’s truly the only way to stop the overwhelm. I have severe ADHD, so I’ve always used tactics to control this sort of thing (such as literally putting my phone in a drawer), but I’ve noticed in particular the last year or so has been far worse for me replying to messages.. I just don’t. I want to but I find it hard to do- which is bizarre as I used to write letter length messages with my friends. I loved it but if I did that regularly now I think I’d cry. (As for unread message count, mine is shamefully in the hundreds- not including emails)

[@Coops65]

Excellent topic. I’m often overwhelmed by the amount of messaging apps, group chats and what not. I want to keep in touch with friends/family but it often gets too much.

[@87morpheus11]

This makes me feel better about myself and my habit of delaying responding to messages

[@NoorAhmed-nk2jq]

I am not even a public figure, I don't have strangers sending me messages, yet I am always exhausted and feeling guilty when it comes to messaging, like when I call my dad and he asks If I saw the AI video he sent me on Facebook messenger or when my mom asks why I didn't congratulate my cousin for graduating on the family group, don't even get me started on the work group chat!

[@KGBSpyGeorgeCostanza]

In a way though, i do not like messaging, neither social media especially from the amount of degeneracy and chauvinism that lingers I'd rather live in the hills like the guerrilla fighters of El Salvador during the civil war, away

[@Marco_Onyxheart]

Back in the MSN days, they just used some open protocol, and I could talk with people using third party software that I could also use for other platforms. And now it's all separated.

[@adversary22]

It's like this because no government has been fully willing to step in and address the problem the way they did with the telephone system. On the other hand things like Bluesky having DMs makes a kind of sense. You might want to have a private convo with someone from there without giving them your phone number for a WhatsApp conversation.

[@rogerbabin8175]

Chat competitors are a GOOD thing. I have several communication apps to accommodate different peoples preferences. Its fine. I'd rather this then everyone using the same monopoly of a chat service. As for how to solve the 'problem'...its simple. Communication. Set an expectation with individuals on how to reach you if its something that's ACTUALLY important/urgent vs casual convo where they won't care if it takes you days to get back to them. For me its simple...SMS is the 'emergency' means of communication along side a phone call.

[@AmpluexCompressa]

God damn, I thought I was the only one who was overwhelmed by too many messages...

[@Mertanian]

I actually am up to date on all my conversations but I usually read them all at once after they sit unread for a couple of days. I feel dread when I have new messages, because I know they will sit unread and it stresses me

[@cookingwithsilence]

I have enjoyed asking you about two or three things per year. I don't ever really take it personally when a creator doesn't chat with their fans, everyone is different but it does add an extra level to your content that you have actually answered questions I had about your content in the past. It's not a must it's a plus. You're a true D2E.

[@PossumMedic]

It feels like my personal life is now (involuntarily) run like a business that doesn't make any money 😅

[@adambester3673]

what i did was stop using all but 1 messenger and also email. I told everyone i knew that they could email me or talk to me on discord, and that i wouldn't be answering messages anywhere else.

[@picachugirl2036]

Im really getting tired of being messaged constantly on EVERYTHING and then people getting offended that I dont reply for a month. I dont know what to do about it. I tell my close friends to just call me and thats what they do. Beyond that I honestly dont even want to be messaged. Its too dang much to check and its becoming a chore just to respond to people who wanna send me snap streaks everyday. Idk if that makes me a bad friend for not messaging back all the time, and idk what to do about it. Its literally been giving me anxiety.

[@TheOlioster]

Android has a pretty robust do not disturb feature, it lets you schedule when to turn it on and even has options for exceptions such as specific contacts or apps. It even has an option for if you're getting multiple calls from the same number (like someone is trying to reach you about an emergency) it will allow those through. Mine goes on automatically every night at 10PM and stays on until 7AM and the only thing I have allowed is repeat callers.

[@alicecordova-potter6251]

When i was growing up i had to have 5 different conversations with my best friend all on the text messaging app which is extra hilarious because we'd STILL be responding to some threads and ignoring others.

[@Sebastian-fn1qg]

You had Bebo!!! I had that, and no one seems to remember it. I was born in 1996 and it was my first social media, after all the tweens in my small sub 1000 population michigsn villiage hopped on it.

[@Planag7]

Honestly is frustrating

[@afroponix3414]

I remember when I opened my email one time about 10 years ago and feeling utter despair at the 1000 unopened emails, a large part due to signing up for political campaign lists, and I said NOPE, not gonna spend my life doing this!

[@meggiep.2848]

It's also that some chats/people require more energy/mental load to reply to, be that because of your relationship with them, external circumstance or really just there being a lot of stuff to reply to ..... the only people who can always expect an answer in a matter of hours or faster from me is my best friend and my mum 😅everyone else can have a wild guess with next day or in a couple weeks, maybe

[@ericmackrodt9441]

Having ADHD, this is a nightmare for me. I have tons of notifications on multiple apps, I can't respond to all of them in a timely manner. People are always complaining I take forever to respond to their messages. There are people and groups, and I have no energy to interact with them.

[@lindseysgreencanvas]

I have to take phone breaks, not just social media. I miss the days when I was not accessible 24/7. One time during a phone break, a few of my online friends got worried when they hadn't heard from me in 2 days. My friend in Brazil reached out to a friend in another state in the US (West Coast, I'm on the east), and she called my local police department to do a welfare check on me at 1am! I had police knocking on my bedroom window, because I wasn't going to my door at 1am. This was so dangerous for me as I'm disabled and I do have a CPP, and keep something loaded next to my bed and my door. Hearing knocking on my door then bedroom window at 1am of course I grabbed my protection. There had literally just been a woman shot through her window by police because they saw her holding a gun. I told my friends that I appreciate the love and the concern, but that this is not ok, and for my mental health I have to take breaks because the constant contact is just so overwhelming.

[@davidpachecogarcia]

It’s entering the email dilemma we have. How many unread emails do we have in a single day? ☠️☠️☠️

[@Paz_Y_Pax]

This is really good. Thank you!

[@TIY_Correspondent]

(typing a message for the sake of it)

[@jameseglavin4]

Honestly, I want fewer messages/messaging apps and more comment sections. I want comments on Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, every news article, etc… would obviously be a disaster, could be amazing

[@arsenalrocka16]

we yearn for the landline...

[@hellbreakfast1590]

Literally lost friends because I couldn't be up their asses all the time on all the socials. I have to choose specific times to be on for work, because I work from home. No one understands that I'm not up to field their nonsense while working from home, however, because I'm at home. Do you want me to make money like a "real job"? then you need to let me be during the same hours you would work.

[@erica5218]

I could not agree more. It’s hard to plan outings with friends because of getting overwhelmed

[@ThisIsNotMyUsername]

I don't use social media as much, but when I got a new phone, I made sure to turn off some notifications and set others to silent. Only direct messages would ding. It makes everything a lot less chaotic and ensures that I know when to respond, because the message preview will appear in my notification bar. This way, I know if it's imperative that I reply now or not. I have a friend who has every social media under the sun and send me memes from stuff like Twitter and TikTok (which I don't have). I'd much rather miss out on whatever dumb video he sent me, than make a whole new account for something I don't want in the first place.

[@barelyoperational6587]

When I first started in tech someone told me that all apps eventually turn into excel or email. This is so true to this day

[@ProjSHiNKiROU]

If there's only 1 messaging app: No competition and all the enshittification stuff Multiple messaging apps: Fragmentation and basically what you've talked about Email, old IM protocols and texting somehow approximate the best of both worlds through open standards.

[@spacecat7864]

I have too many places with notifications that I just can’t handle it. I usually will focus on one app at a time. Like this week I’m responding to telegram only, everyone else can wait until it’s their week. I also have specific types of conversations with the same person in each app. Like real talk is signal, memes are WhatsApp, etc. It’s very chaotic and overwhelming lol.

[@goosewithagibus]

Damn you must have a ton of friends if you need to rotate off weeks to talk to them holy shit lol

[@spacecat7864]

@@goosewithagibus I don’t even!!! I just have too many apps. It’s like you check one, then the other, then the other, then the social media associated with each messaging app. And the group chats vs individuals. It’s too much. If it was all texts I probably wouldn’t have such a hard time.

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

Agreed. Some fam of mine in korea wants me to get on face book to keep in touch. Doood I have skype, youtube, and insta. Tooooo many already lol.

[@JosePerez-zr4sp]

Every Latino friend of mine only communicates on Whatsapp

[@Weegeeguy208]

Ive been screaming about this for years. Regulation like what the EU is doing on messaging standards is what's needed.

[@picahudsoniaunflocked5426]

Love the kitty collection around the YT plaque.

[@SavorySmegma]

I'm DEFINITELY guilty of ignoring texts and calls (ESPECIALLY calls, lol). And they almost always seem to come in blocks at the most annoying possible time.. Like, I haven't heard from anyone all day, then I lie down because I have a migraine, and my phone just starts blowing the fuck up and I want to smash it. And, I can't even comprehend how people keep up with MULTIPLE group texts at once with like 5-10 people in EACH one. Like, I was in ONE group message, EVER, a few years ago when I was trying to expose this city council candidate who had a YEARS-LONG history of shit like lying about having brain cancer, lying about working with the CIA, and spent several years straight up celebrating ISIS (she was running as a pro-life Republican, of course, who also had an abortion when an unplanned pregnancy was simply inconvenient TO HER-again, OF COURSE). I was able to stand the group text for the first few days when there were like 4-5 people in it; but, once it grew beyond that (which it did, RAPIDLY, once the story started gaining local traction), I just had to put it on mute.

[@bertbaker7067]

I stopped using social media for 7 years and it was probably the most socially rich time of my life. Unfortunately, it was while I was in prison. I had a workout crew, soccer/frisbee friends, d&d friends, Scrabble friends, seriously probably more friends at one time than I've ever had, but it's still prison so... Oh well.

[@holy.diever]

I turned off push notifications for everything other than specific discord dms (barely recieve them) and have them set to "send quietly" so they are out of the way and only available if i pull the notification tab down on my phone. and that alone has improved my messaging experience tenfold

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

this is one of the reasons me and my friends moved to just discord. That doesn't work for everyone obviously, but the only social media i really use is discord and youtube. I have other social media, but i don't really use it. I realized how bad it was for my mental health and how much worse that got when i stopped being able to work because all i could do most of the day every day was sit on different social media apps. Getting off of Instagram and tiktok specifically has been a huge boost for me personally. It does also mean I am more isolated from society, and I only really know about this weeks main drama through different KZbinrs, but I'm okay with that. I still have my main group and I'm not constantly draining myself fighting with trolls anymore.

[@conrad4222]

Congrats that your channel is doing well!

[@360crazycoco]

I think the important part, and the way I manage it, is having notifications off for apps I don't care about (IG, some discord servers, TikTok) so I only look at those notifications when I want to.

[@purpleprinc3]

Group chat? Who needs a group chat? Ready Harry? MOCK-YEH ING-YEH BIRD - YEH YEH - YEH 😂🤣👌

[@alexxander966]

I'm autistic and it is so hard for me to reply to any messages or talk on the phone. So I just dont use any social media. I appreciate having disscussions in the KZbin comments, and i have an instagram where i post my art. I never reply there, but the random comments i get make me happy. So instagram can stay. Also Tumblr is easier because im anonymous and talking to strangers, so there is never any pressure to respond

[@lakegroce685]

Tried to get back into Facebook after not checking for like 2 1/2 years and it was just awful. 80% ads, 10% page suggestions that couldn’t have been more not got me and then the last 10% maybe people who were trying to contact me. I deleted it and crawled back into my hole on tumblr.

[@Susanoo7108]

I'm in the EXACT same scenario as you! Sometimes I have to flick between the three to remember and track what we were talking about at the time. I'm so relieved I'm not the only one having this issue lol

[@scottmckay9049]

I have a group chats associated with what the thing is (family, friends, game and walking) but I'm so done with social media if it wasn't for the social necessity I'd just buy a sat nav and get a really simple phone I feel addicted sometimes.

[@sowhatchajen2846]

When Facebook started doing messaging separate I just said guess I’m not getting facebook messages anymore

[@picahudsoniaunflocked5426]

I can't believe how brave Kav is to reveal his Numbers.

[@Kcoldraz]

I usually just reply to direct questions or those that usually need a reply. I totally do that heart thing when I get greetings. 😁

[@RaphaPortoRP]

I had this orange button Sony Ericsson when I was like 17 yo. You accidentally unlocked some memories I forgot I had! 😅

[@missm10]

I feel all of this so much.

[@MackeyDeeez]

Awww, I'll always be here to watch your vids, Kav

[@matthiasfreiburghaus4202]

My "solution" is that my livelihood does not depend on any kind of social media presence, that I use only two direct messaging apps, that I only communicate with a small circle of close friends and family, and that I never ever respond to unsolicited dm's by strangers.

[@TheMosayat]

I totally feel you. It gets exhausting.

[@callanpage1836]

Yours is a scenario I have thankfully avoided, but I do agree with how much this is an issue today. I have been insistent my whole life that I will reply when I have time, not when I see the message to all my friends and family. I have children though, so I have a permanent explanation as to why I was busy and probably get away with ignoring people more than I should. Also MSN definitely had group chats, but they were just used to spam people normally. It would replay the messenger noise every time someone was added and you didn't get to refuse being added to a chat, so you would get thrown in and then blasted by noise. And if you were bold enough to stay in, there was always someone spamming the nudge button to make sure you couldn't use your computer for anything else easily haha.

[@MrFullphat]

I've only used text and email for the past 4 years. Its so liberating I highly recommended it👍🏿

[@spoonemoji9429]

i dont use any socials anymore (hopefully it stays that way) but discord now and even there i have 125 unopened messages.;-; i also don’t like that when i try to respond, it’s been a while maybe 2-3 weeks sometimes and i immediately get interrogated. sometimes they’re just annoyed i didn’t answer quick enough. it’s very overwhelming and most of my messages are very superficial. plus being autistic makes this even worse, i rarely can come up with a response on the spot. this has been so bad that i always get surprised when someone gives me space to respond when i want to without questioning me. idk if other people experience this or not 😅

[@tropezando]

I only communicate with people about important things. If I wouldn't say or ask in person, and it isn't urgent enough that I would have called in the years prior to having a cellphone, I don't send a text. I don't use any additional messenger nor social media apps. My biggest source of unread messages are advertising emails/spam lol.

[@DrZaius3141]

Back in the day, there was ICQ, MSN, Skype, IRC. Then came the voice chat options for gaming: xfire, TeamSpeak, etc. The issue has always been around and the real problem was always the interweaving of friendship circles. One group might have settled on ICQ, the other on MSN - so one had to get both. Today, there's just more people, i.e. more circles and more interweaving.

[@AylinIsAwesome]

I have 5k unopened emails (lots of spam from as long as a decade ago), but 0 unanswered direct messages

[@berkslaw]

People SUCK at writing, so these messaging apps are painful.

[@breadpilled2587]

Great video!

[@sourpatchkiiddoo1582]

A bit over a year ago, I went into my settings and turned off all notifications for every social media app (except for snap cuz I use that + text messages solely for communication) and I have never been happier with how much it 1) reduced my overall stress about social interaction/reduced my engagement with harmful content, and 2) made me completely stop going on the apps altogether. I think I check instagram once a month maximum? Usually only for tour dates/music releases. I go on tik tok twice a year now, never used twitter except for a short time when I was 16 and immediately harassed and threatened so I left for good. I don’t use discord for anything but gaming and social planning every so often, and I don’t use any other platforms besides like- KZbin.