Top 10 BRITISH INSULTS | RUDE, CREATIVE and VERY FUNNY!

Learn the top 10 most creative British insults in this brand new English lesson. I teach you some very funny insults that British people use on each other. Enjoy!
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[@ryannefisher149]

I usually hear "a few fries short of a Happy Meal" in place of the "two sandwiches" phrase. Thank you for this video!

[@empoweredlips]

Another one is, "They're not playing with a full deck [of cards]," and "her cheese done slid off her cracker."

[@williamfarr8807]

Growing up in Texas back the 1970s, a friend of mine use to say vitiations of "He's just got one oar (or paddle) in the water" or "That guy doesn't have both his oars in the water". Another common one is "He's not playing with a full deck".

[@gianlucac.8944]

In Italy sometimes you hear: "He is out as a balcony" meaning out of his mind

[@webrambler88]

Fuori come un balcone😁... I learnt that from a nice song by Povia (by the way why is the title Immigrazia and not Immigrazione??)

[@arjaygee]

Great expression!

[@vittosphonecollection4134]

Mai sentito giuro

[@amiraali412]

Love this

[@donnar4261]

We say in Spain "he's like a goat". Imagine it, goats jump randomly and their face is like...out of their mind

[@rbarnett3200]

"You look like an accident in an abattoir" is perhaps my favourite insult I've heard. The other great one was "I got a birth certificate, your parents got an apology slip from Durex". The more creative the insult, the more heroic you are as a person. Be creative people, you'll win friends

[@shadowysea]

"When you were born the doctor slapped your mother" (as opposed to slapping the baby to make it cry/intake breath)

[@steelpanther9568]

Or you can always use “you look like you’ve fallen from an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down”, Or “I was going to take the Micky out of you, but it looks like Mother-nature beaten me to it”, 🇬🇧😎👍🏼

[@edgaraquino2324]

At R Barnett - the Durex is a good one!😂thanks!

[@edgaraquino2324]

​​@@shadowysea good one, very funny! 😊

[@FoxFighter-HellBringer]

One Gordon Ramsay would use sometimes was calling people a muppet. I love it. 😂

[@TheAtreyeeShill]

"... Now please go out and insult" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mamymimma]

I fell in love with "the bulldog chewing a wasp" 😄

[@iwonakuzminska8709]

#me too

[@EatSleepDreamEnglish]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@fastwalker2163]

me too :)

[@shadowysea]

The version I'm more familiar with is 'A bulldog licking piss off of a thistle'

[@bartonbrevis3831]

Mmm ... spicy sky raisins!

[@kmsmail489]

Here in the US the saying 'he is a few cards short of a full deck' is a phrase that means the same thing as the 2 sandwhichs short of a picnic .

[@MsGbergh]

That makes more sense, as there is no 'correct' number of sandwiches for a picnic. You need a full deck of cards to play most games though.

[@talscorner3696]

Our equivalent of "Mad as a box of frogs" is "crazy as a horse", at least in my neck of Italy

[@christopherwharton6022]

In America we say “bat sh-t crazy.”

[@arjaygee]

American equivalent of "two sandwiches short of a picnic" : two bricks shy of a load. "Not the sharpest tool in the shed" is used in the US, as is "not the brightest crayon in the box."

[@Stinger913]

Never heard of the bricks one. I thought of “he lost his marbles”.

[@darlahays2471]

A few fries short of a Happy Meal is one I have heard

[@tjstraw1]

A couple cans short of a six-pack as well.

[@ellynmacgregor8210]

My favorite (which I heard in a Disney TV cartoon) is "A couple of tacos short of a combination plate."

[@DxModel219]

yah but American insults are not funny ....

[@gwillis01]

As an American, I would rather say. "You're so chicken!!" to a cowardly man. A chicken is a symbol of timidity in America

[@stephenswistchew7720]

You have a lot of timid fat people that need two trips over the thresh hold to get into the house 😂😂😂😂😂 she likes chicken so much people go to colonel sanders to lick her fingers 😂😂😂😂😂we were so poor my mum used to take us to popeyes just to lick the steam of the windows 😂😂😂😂😂 add your own to the list

[@StewyAdamRules]

You could say someone is a few blanks short of a blank and put almost any combination of words in there, it’s quite a versatile phrase.

[@pierre9694]

3:36 In Belgium, we say "Il n'a pas toutes ses frites dans le même paquet" meaning "He doesn't have all his chips (fries) in the same bag."

[@sarahsmiths550]

HSDev Lol 😂

[@johnphelps7519]

Also "A few chips short of a full bag" in the U.S.

[@goldenretriever6261]

How about in Flemish?

[@MeMe-dy9hy]

@@goldenretriever6261 in northeast england we say daft as a brush.

[@miadodson1938]

I lived in the South of England and never heard that one about the "Northern Monkies, Southern Softies" But I wasn't allowed to be around people who used that sorts of slangs, because my mother was and still is a huge snob. People called the area we lived in "Nob's Hill". I learned a lot of slangs after I left school and moved away from Wiltshire, like "two bobs short of a quid", "Light are on but nobody is home" "Dressd up like a Christmas tree", and loads more.

[@raymondgarafano8604]

Frankly I love the british, used to watch all the British comedy on public t.v. Say hi To Rumpole!

[@emiliecouillard8917]

About "crazy as a box of frogs", I thought about what I would say in French ( Canadian French from the province of Quebec). And we have an expression that says :" Fou comme un balai" which translates to "crazy as a broom".

[@palavraescritanarede]

In Brazilian Portuguese there's a mean expression to say someone is ugly : " He, she, the baby, the boy,, the girl, your girlfriend, your mother, that woman, etc... ( You specify the person ) IS INSIDE OUT! ..."Ele, ela ( etc) está pelo avesso".

[@YasamanJoaquin]

Haha, you Brits are really hilarious 😂😂 Very creative insults 👌👌

[@ismneek]

You need to see the roadman insults, and here is an example you melt

[@lisalaurel1352]

Two sandwiches short of a picnic in German: nicht alle Tassen im Schrank haben (lit.: 'to not have all cups in the cupboard')

[@birgith4127]

Yes, I was thinking of the same!

[@bittorrentsdownload]

The German expression is also very popular but if you straighten things out, then you can bring everything together under a hat (Alles unter einen Hut bringen) :)

[@rociomartinez4641]

In Spanish is: le falta un tornillo (he's missing a screw)

[@nordveld]

@@rociomartinez4641 In German: "Bei dem ist eine Schraube locker" - he has a screw loose 😁

[@immasuredamoya]

Two sandwiches short of a picnic in Spanish is: "le falta un hervor" which means she/he lacks of a bit of boiling i.e. that person "is not completely done (boiled)". Pretty similar in concept, 'cause it also means the person felt short in something and this something is also related with food ;)

[@acedragon1456]

A sciencey version of "2 sandwiches short of a picnic" would be "a neuron short a synapse"

[@estherkim6895]

The “two sandwiches short of a picnic” would be understood here in the US. We have a lot of similar sayings and some people get quite creative with them but it’s always understood due to context.

[@anneott7796]

Yep. Also "a couple bricks short of a load."

[@chrisgood525]

I’ve heard “A taco short of a combo plate”, but it seems derivative to me. But what do I know, I may not be playing with a full deck.

[@g8ymw]

Another British version is "One can short of a six pack

[@say_hello_sarah9792]

I've heard a few fries short of a happy meal

[@g8ymw]

@@say_hello_sarah9792 I think that may be American. I heard Colonel Jack O'Neill come out with this on Stargate SG-1 when he and Tealc were stuck in a time loop

[@MrAndrii11]

a year ago Lucy made a video on the same topic and she used the idiom in a slightly different way "to be ONE sandwich short of a picnic" plus she explained this idiom with the word "stupid" not "crazy", I think it's important to mention everything in Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels they used "southern fairies"

[@Batmanstabbingadog]

2:49 “Now I know I’m insulting you but I don’t wanna be rude to women”

[@azzlingtonmcazzle9544]

British here - growing up, heard "face like a slapped arse" to say something looked pissed off more often than ugly, but it works either way 😂

[@mikaylaedelstein1115]

"Now please, go on and insult" I loved that! Haha, thank you for the great lesson, I'm always looking for insults with no swear words (I don't want to say these), they are the best!

[@bigtone1348]

My favourite has always been 'the lights are on, the door is open, but nobody's home'

[@frozenbreeze]

I just gotta comment about no. 7 it's so hilarious! I'm Chilean and here we have two phrases that I think are priceless! One of them is "Se le arrancaron los duendes para el bosque", which literally means "Their goblins escaped in direction to the woods", and the second one is "Le faltan palos para el puente" which means "To be short on sticks to finish building the bridge". I swear I'm cackling already Hahaha.

[@spriggansiedeutsch6817]

I quite enjoyed “Mean Tom.” 😄

[@EatSleepDreamEnglish]

Hehe do you think I should bring him back?

[@spriggansiedeutsch6817]

Eat Sleep Dream English Absolutely!

[@lazser47]

Eat Sleep Dream English oh yes! Please do! It was such a fresh and funny take on learning the Brit culture. Also, quite apt to this video.

[@Fitness178to]

German (meaning: crazy) "He hasn't got all cups in the cupboard."

[@analauracoloccini290]

In Argentina instead of "two sandwiches short of a picnic" we say "he's missing a couple of players" (as in a football team)

[@Eeyesablous]

In Poland when someone isn't quite sane then it is said that someone has an uneven ceiling :)

[@noeljohnson6867]

My favorites here in Montana, Not the brightest crayon in the box, His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top, and she's one cat short (as in one cat short of being crazy).

[@emiliecouillard8917]

Hahahah ! I love the cat one 😂

[@prosto-inna]

Amazing video! That's the part of language you always struggle with the most, isn't it? These are not just idioms, these are slang-idioms! Crazy! Thanks a lot Tom!

[@NellaMars]

My favourite insult to say in german, if someone is stupid, is: " Er ist nicht der saftigste Apfel am Baum" ~ He's not the juiciest apple on the tree

[@daniipieper2486]

Jaaaaaaaa!!!

[@leandra4268]

Never heard of it.. 😅 It'd say "not the lightest lightbulb"

[@MBSRbushcraft]

“two sandwiches short of a picnic” would be in Dutch: "Een steekje (een paar steekjes) los hebben": "Having a loose stitch (or: a few loose stictches". We also say: "Niet alle vijf op een rij hebben": "Not having all five on a row".

[@RaymondRead-gu3kv]

In South Africa we talk in Afrikaans saying “sy varkies is nie almal tuis nie!” which means in English, he does not have all his little pigs at home. Another one is , “ the lights are on but nobody is at home!”

[@shaunleonard3878]

This was as interesting as watching paint dry. 😆

[@barbwire3507]

In America we have different accents depending on what state or area you grew up in. There’s Boston, Philly, Texas, Southern, New York, New Englander, Chicago, Minnesota and California accents that all are uniquely different.

[@lindadeters8685]

It’s always fun to learn new idioms. Thanks.

[@micheleprofeta7614]

“You’re not the brightest crayon in the box”. “You’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer.” “The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.” “You’re not the brightest bulb on the tree. (Christmas tree)”

[@queennadya6741]

Next, TOP 10 BEAUTIFUL IDIOMS, please? 😊

[@randorific333]

Thanks for these. "Dead from the neck up" had me LOLing!

[@petarnovakovich240]

We also use "needs a check up from the neck up"

[@jasonwoodruff6931]

He/she is a few fries short of a happy meal

[@stanlivengood9500]

Two bricks shy of a load A few fries short of a Happy Meal His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top The light is on but nobody's home

[@heelasediqi3340]

In Afghanistan people call a mad person "the Jackal " and they say , he had just runaway from mental hospital, or may they say ," can I show u direction right to the mental hospital? "

[@nicolaemihai8871]

2 sandwiches short of a picnic in romanian:"A nu avea toate tiglele pe casa" ( have not got all the tiles on the house)

[@ED-es2qv]

I like “he’s not the sharpest crayon in the box, but one of the most colorful.”

[@kmsmail489]

Here in US we use 'The lights are on but nobody is home' means the same thing as your dead from the neck up.

[@dianapohe]

In Italian, for number 7 we would say that a person is a few Fridays short 😂

[@puteriaisyah9197]

😂😂😂

[@Alex-oz2cv]

I love it!! My favourite video so far! 😂 so funny and useful! Love u Tom!

[@MyLittleEnglishPage]

OMG number 9 is brilliant!! I had never heard of that one before, thanks for sharing Tom ;)

[@rmason1357]

If you say “His cheese slipped off the Cracker” means he’s gone nuts or crazy. There’s also being “dumb as a box of rocks.” We also say “not the sharpest tool in the shed.”

[@rebeccasimantov5476]

I remember many years ago seeing a movie called "Hockey Night" and the main actor famously said: "Welcome to the armpit of North America"...referring to a little hick town in Canada...

[@asiatasanova4127]

Two sandwiches short of a picnic, one of my favourites from now on)) There are lots of expressions meaning 'crazy' in Russian, some of them are mentioned in the comments below. I thought of this one - без царя в голове, which literally means (there's) no tsar in their head

[@elisamastromarino7123]

I like "big girl's blouse".😄 We say, "you Nancy boy!" And "bulldogs face chewing a wasp" just made it to the USA. Thanks Tom! 🤣😂😄😅

[@melissaj1965]

I use "not an oil painting" all the time. Also "he's no Greek god". "Slice short of a loaf". There are a few different ones here in Australia.

[@myriamguns2162]

The 'armpit' one reminded me of how my American husband was always offended when I used that word and corrected me: 'not armpit but underarm'. I stubbornly maintained that 'armpit' was the correct term while 'underarm' refers to the 'forearm'. What do you think?

[@linnaeusshecut3959]

I've alway heard it as armpit. "Underarm" is more genteel. Consider: underarm deodorant vs. armpit deodorant.

[@myriamguns2162]

@@linnaeusshecut3959 I see your point. But deodorant is usually for the armpits/ underarms so no need to specify really. I'm glad you agree on 'armpits' as an appropriate term. 😊

[@itsdamoko]

One of David Cameron's legacies: You don't need it to be Christmas to know you're sitting next to a turkey!

[@alicerossi_ap]

😃 👍 I like this one! It's elegantly offensive, the kind of insult I prefer (when I'm not out of anger 😀)

[@truthmatters-jt5up]

"Gone 'round the bend" means lost touch, lost it, a bit crazy. It used to be very common, but I don't think younger ppl know it so much. More intense is-- Mad as a hatter, Looney Tunes, bats in the belfy -- crazy. Also older phrases.

[@gwillis01]

If I wanted to say someone was crazy and did not appear to have all the usual thinking skills, I as an American could theoretically say [ He's ( or She's ) not playing with a full deck ] Deck as in deck of cards. He's not playing with a full deck means he does not appear to have all the usual thinking skills

[@maryannlyons5695]

So funny! Can’t wait for the book release

[@maryrichardson1318]

for the sandwiches one, we often say "Two tacos short of a combination platter", or "one brick shy of a full load". If someone is dumb we say "not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, or not the sharpest knife in the drawer". If someone thinks they are "all that" or is full of themselves, we say "well, isn't he just the cutest trick in the magic show?".

[@67angie]

A very stupid or slow-thinking person can also be called: Someone who isn't the "full quid" or someone who is "one brick short of a load". These are funny expressions, too 😉

[@joshuastclair7725]

A penny short of a pound

[@WhiteSpatula]

I like to use insults (and compliments as well) in the «blank» as «blank» format. Dumb as a box of rocks. High as a giraffe on stilts. Cold as a witch’s tit in a brass bra. Sharp as a tack. Fit as a fiddle. Smooth as a baby’s backside. Hot as fish grease (“hot” here in the Louisiana sense meaning hot-tempered, angry, pissed, etc.). Hairy as Benny Hill’s palms. Busy as River Dancers on ice. Flat as a pirate’s dream (a sunken chest). The possibilities are as endless as plumbing. Cheers! -Phill, Las Vegas

[@JoColours]

Nice one, Tom. For anyone who likes the '"Two sandwiches short of a picknick", go and listen to Queen's I'm going slightly mad. In the Netherlands it's 'Een klap van de molenwiek gekregen'. This means 'He got hit by a windmill sail'. :)

[@gianlucac.8944]

Man, this is awesome! Mean Tom rules! More please

[@skmcc9252]

In Australia I've heard the expression - "'He's got a roo loose in the top paddock'' which basically means you're mentally unstable. However, the irony of thinking that the British expression, "a big girl's blouse'' is now actually politically incorrect, makes you a bit of ''a big girl's blouse'' :0)

[@browngirl9746]

I'm from Singapore. I would say "Mad as a hatter" .... Could we see more of mean Tom? 😀

[@EatSleepDreamEnglish]

Hehe did you like mean Tom?

[@browngirl9746]

@@EatSleepDreamEnglish yes, he's an absolute riot 😂

[@baskervillebee6097]

"On your bike!" When do you use this phrase? When someone annoys you? Sending someone away? "Dumb as a sack of wet mice."

[@petarnovakovich240]

"on yer bike" is telling them to go away.

[@baskervillebee6097]

@@petarnovakovich240 On an old episode of Chef, someone yelled it in French.

[@Drusille]

In catalonia we say : he's short of one little summer ( Li falta un estiuet) to say he/she left his/her mom womb too soon and he's not the sharpest tool of the box. We also say he's short if one boiling (like veggies not cooked enough). We say someone is crazy as a goat ( estar com una cabra), and the worst place is the ass of the world (el cul del món)

[@clivegchesterman]

I like "a most unfortunate face only a mother could love" 🤣

[@jaime-johnhughes9088]

Gotta face like a slapped arse, new favourite!

[@EatSleepDreamEnglish]

LOLS! That is a funny one huh!

[@leandra4268]

In German for a bit crazy/stupid: "got a screw loose" And for not the brightest: "not the brightest lightbulb" works in English, too, I'd say :D

[@petarnovakovich240]

We also use "got a screw loose" & we'd also say that someone or something is "screwy". We also use "lost his marbles" or "not got all his marbles".

[@myworld-sp3xr]

Now please go out and insult😂😂😂 I like this one 😂

[@andreanatsuminadeau5608]

For "not the sharpest tool in the box" a Quebec politician once used "Pas le pogo le plus degelé de la boite" meaning "Not the most unfrozen pogo (wich is a sort of corn dog we keep in the freezer until we're ready to heat and eat them) in the box" wich was hilarious. I always thought the sandwichs thing was link to calling someone a basket case wich also mean "crazy".

[@karelpeeters1994]

Say Tom, where do I find your free audiobook? I can't access it!

[@brandonhughes179]

In the American South, for crazy/stupid we might say "an apple short of a bushel"

[@AustinTheWeenieTickler]

My list of insults: -Matress -Melt -Spherical fucker -Gruntarse -Wheel -Chopped Grapefruit -Cubed Car

[@birgith4127]

In German: Der/ Die hat nicht alle Latten am Zaun. (He or She hasn´t got all the slats on the fence.) means someone is crazy.

[@katoukanga9488]

Dumb as a box of rocks! In French it's con comme une manche à balai or dumb as a broomstick🤣🤣🤣

[@webrambler88]

Oui😂 !

[@philosophicsblog]

Mate, I can up the [armpit]. Where I was raised, it was said that 'New Jersey is the armpit of the US', so having visited Houston, my rendition became, 'Houston is the New Jersey of Texas'. This went over well until I found myself in the company of people from New Jersey. But still... cuz NJ

[@andrewvelonis5940]

In the US, "dull as dishwater" refers to a speech or lecture, not a person.

[@andrewvelonis5940]

I first heard the expression "dead from the neck up" on the American TV show "All in the Family" in the early 1970's.

[@estherkim6895]

I had to google “big girl’s blouse” after hearing it on Downton Abbey. It’s such a funny/interesting phrase. 😆

[@EatSleepDreamEnglish]

Right! It's a funny one. Do you think we should still use it Esther?

[@arjaygee]

@@EatSleepDreamEnglish I don't. I believe I heard Bojo use it recently, and it seemed a bit tone deaf.

[@vandanapandey6276]

@@EatSleepDreamEnglishwhy not 😂😂

[@hei444]

@@EatSleepDreamEnglish Being a big girl myself I don't like it, it feels quite sexist.

[@e.d.4824]

@Eat Sleep Dream English Sure! Stop apologizing! Tough sh@t for wimps making a lot of fuss pretending being offended! :-)

[@hectorluisramone]

Hi Tom! In Argentina "Two sandwiches..." would be "he/she lacks two players in the field" (because of football, you know).

[@gwillis01]

I would rather say "He's got a screw loose". for "he's crazy "

[@extraterrestrialval9711]

"Mad as a box of frogs" in Russian: "korobka s paukami" = "a box of spiders". "Dead from the neck up": "Tupoy kak probka" = "As stupid as a bottle bung".🙂

[@Buffalo_Bills_1964]

A couple of fry’s short of a Happy Meal...

[@freeman_0154]

Russian expression 'Your roof has gone away' means 'You have gone mad'.

[@Eeyesablous]

Pretty same here in Poland , but it is scaled down because we refer to uneven ceilings or inclined ceilings instead of lacking roofs xD

[@Tony_Malini]

Now I love your channel more 🤣🤣

[@dinakarmampilly5601]

Super awesome. ..teacher. ...👍👍👍

[@EatSleepDreamEnglish]

🕺🏼my pleasure mate

[@carolynnmathisen8754]

Had me howling 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@maryconner71]

The lights are on, but nobody’s home-out of it, unaware or not very bright

[@Justme-ip3wc]

3:30 In Polish we say "Brakuje mu piątej klepki" which means that someone doesn't have the fifth "klepka". I don't know if this word actually means anything now but as far as I know, it was used in medieval times. People believed that apart from the 5 senses (vision, hearing, smell, etc.) everyone has another 5 inner senses (klepki): judgement, imagination, fantasy, memory and the fifth one that controls them all. If someone was a bit mad, they said he didn't have that fifth one. I have no idea if this is true but that's the information I found. Edit. We also say "mieć nierówno pod sufitem" which means "to be uneven under the roof" or something like that.

[@ms-ht1cj]

"Klepka" is a part of a barrel, a stave. But I don't know why this word is used here. Maybe someone who hasn't this "fifth stave" is incomplete, thus stupid? 😉

[@jdlinkousproductions2105]

Two sandwiches short of a picnic in Mexican Spanish: "No le llega agua al tinaco" (I wanna hear you saying it somewhere hahaha)

[@janmcguire5268]

Interestingly, many of these same expressions are common in the US as well.

[@fastwalker2163]

1. What about "He is smart as grass"? 2. Is there this punch line (when some person looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp, and his brain is sleeping yet): - Hey! Take off the handbrake! or: - Did you forget to take off the handbrake?

[@MsGbergh]

Mad as a hatter has a sad origin. Where does the expression Mad Hatter come from? The phrase “mad as a hatter” actually comes from Mad Hatter disease, better known as mercury poisoning. In the 19th century, fur treated with mercury was used to make felt hats. Hatters were confined in small spaces and breathed toxic mercury fumes, resulting in “mad” or irrational behavior.

[@kurtsteiner8384]

Some I have not heard of and am English one or two were going round 50 years ago when I was at school