Top 101 Chuck Norris Jokes that Defy Reality! | WARNING: Uncontrollable Laughter Ahead! 😂🥋💥

[@stevencelestin5901]

Chuck Norris wasn’t born. He stepped outside when he was ready 💪🏾

[@stevencelestin5901]

Chuck Norris found me to approve this original Chuck Norris joke, after he stared at me and had to revive me.

[@mrbiglungz1789]

When chuck notris was born , he drove his mom home

[@jacobdalton1602]

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in

[@hasbulla989]

What?

[@TexasSteel]

Chuck Norris took a lie detector test and the machine confessed everything…😜

[@Skoc90]

Chuck Norris once raced against time. Time is still running

[@Taffy03]

this one is lit😂

[@singriioticstudios]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@seanhill8949]

Santa leaves milk and cookies for Chuck Norris

[@jr.a8301]

😂😂 thats a good one

[@paulg8148]

@@seanhill8949 Ghosts huddle around camp fires to tell Chuck Norris stories

[@parrothead6570]

Chuck Norris doesn’t cut his grass. He gos outside and dares it to grow.

[@SimonIngram-j5t]

Chuck Norris is the unstoppable force AND the immovable object.

[@htwtrbg1]

When Chuck Norris visits the Museum, the exhibits look at him in amazement.

[@xcoder1122]

The reason why light has a finite speed limit is because it doesn't dare to overtake Chuck Norris.

[@Kevin-gg2bl]

You forgot Chuck Norris's favorite one. There's not a chin under his beard, just another fist

[@jeffanderson8165]

Met Chuck. Nice guy. Seems he heard about the time he accidentally got me fired. I was working at the Kitt Peak Solar observatory and was the tech on duty when the Sun blinked during its staredown with Chuck Norris. Folks thought I'd been screwing with the equipment so they fired me. As a favor, he helped me get back on my feet; he got me a gig as the private trauma counsellor for the Grim Reaper, after his near-Chuck Norris experience.

[@quicklinecomedy]

LMAO. Nice one.

[@sarahberkner]

I like most Chuck Norris jokes, but you put extra work into this.

[@jeffanderson8165]

@@sarahberkner Thanks. They were actually just a couple of oddball thoughts that hit me, once upon a time, and gave me a chuckle. Once I heard the *real* truth about Chuck Norris, about how he's an active member of his church and is involved in mentor programs for at-risk youth, also how he has taken all the "Chuck Norris Memes" with good humor, I called on my inner Paul Harvey and put this little tale together. Seeing as how they're clean and complimentary, I imagine he wouldn't have any problem with them and, who knows; he might even get a laugh out of them as well.

[@themc.kennyshow6585]

I love this​ thank you. God bless @@jeffanderson8165

[@the1art]

Chuck Norris let the dogs out, that’s who. End of story.

[@MaazIqbal-pl3hw]

Chuck Norris once got cut by a knife. Now the knife has a bandage.

[@SimonIngram-j5t]

Most people cannot grasp infinity, infinity cannot grasp Chuck Norris.

[@helmetguy01]

Chuck Norris plays a role in Star Wars franchise. He’s the Force.

[@mafruhafauzia3256]

When Chuck Norris heard nothing could beat him , he found out nothing and beat nothing in a fair fight.

[@Smartbot3800]

What?

[@KingAdrock420]

_“Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.”_ You said that one twice.

[@hawkskybound4393]

thats because he used TWO ive ccubes smh...

[@TexasSteel]

@@hawkskybound4393😂😂😂😂😂

[@chaserussell2689]

In case you didn't hear it the first time.

[@Skoc90]

Chuck Norris filmed the invention of the Camera

[@Projectmayhem82]

Chuck Norris doesn't tell dad jokes Chuck Norris just makes a joke out of every dad.

[@cinocage]

The Kings sleep on Chuck Norris sized bed. Edit: Nobody was killed by Chuck because nobody had the guts to go up against Chuck.

[@homeandacre]

Life doesn’t dare give Chuck Norris lemons 🍋

[@Leftists_are_Losers]

Chuck Norris can win a rap battle by keeping his mouth closed.

[@gaiaakatheearth5604]

he also invented rap music when his heart started beating

[@johnleeson6946]

Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "funeral." Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

[@KingOfGamesss]

When 'Chuck Norris' tells somebody to "Hurry up!"...he snaps THEIR fingers (Literally)

[@Exclamsquared]

He knows what the dog is doing. When he walks into a gym, treadmills do push-ups.

[@1977HFB]

In winter season Chuck Norris keeps his fire warm

[@isaaccraig8711]

Chuck Norris doesn't paint the walls, he just waits for them to change colour.

[@Phil_AKA_ThundyUK]

You know the key to telling a joke timing.

[@mercuryman1250]

Chuck Norris doesn't pay his electric bill. The electric bill pay chuck Norris

[@MonsterHunter267]

Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer

[@wereallthinkingit9389]

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg 😆

[@matrixphijr]

Chuck Norris doesn’t have a middle name. Nothing comes between Chuck Norris.

[@TexasSteel]

Carlos Ray Norris!!!

[@sthomjoseph1058]

Had to pause this several times lest I have a dam heart attack 😂

[@heatherharger9709]

Bigfoot, The Boogyman, Superman, Bruce Lee, R.L.Ermey, Jackie Chan are all his Halloween costumes.

[@quicklinecomedy]

Nice one.

[@ramsessalderete1935]

When chuck Norris goes to Vegas the machines gamble on chuck Norris and he takes it's money

[@homeandacre]

1000 words are worth lass than a picture of Chuck Norris

[@harryboyes2812]

Chuck Norris can also dribble a medicine ball. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in five seconds. In his spare time Chuck Norris teaches sharks to swim. Chuck Norris doesn't go fishing like everyone else. He simply picks out the fish he wants and says, "Right, get in the bucket." Chuck Norris once killed fifty people with a grenade. Then the grenade exploded. Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a stationary bicycle. Chuck Norris has a bearskin rug. The bear isn't dead, he's just too afraid to move.

[@quicklinecomedy]

Good one.

[@harryboyes2812]

@@quicklinecomedy A friend and I both love Chuck Norris jokes. Keep 'em coming. 😁👍

[@ChrisTheFard]

Party's throw themselves for Chuck Norris. 🔥

[@Sneeky930]

Times knows what Chuck Norris it is.

[@91mrpogi]

Cancer is undergoing Chemotherapy after being diagnosed with a stage 4 Chuck Norris

[@DoubeEdged7]

Superman was stuck in a phone booth and dialled 9-1-1. Chuck Norris showed up

[@htwtrbg1]

When the Tooth Fairy's teeth come out, she puts her teeth under her pillow and waits for Chuck Norris to replace it with a gold coin.

[@earlleeruhf3130]

Chuck Norris shaved his head, moved to Japan and got a job in films. That's right Chuck is One Punch Man.

[@mpues_]

- Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, now they're just Islands - Chuck Norris can make the alarm clock wake up - Chuck Norris can roll a 7 on a d6 die - Chuck Norris turns off the sun at bedtime - Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover - Chuck Norris gives quests to NPC's - Chuck Norris can hear pictures

[@Sanswrangotaku]

John cena part was legendary 🤣

[@NycktheDyck]

Chuck Norris doesn’t actually run, the Earth just spins faster for him.

[@joebator9858]

On the 8th day GOD created Chuck Norris.

[@johnhazlett3711]

Chuck Norris once went sky diving. That's how we got the Grand Canyon.

[@hinesmaster99]

Chuck Norris doesn't need a lightsaber, his forearms will block anything!

[@simoncarlile1965]

Chuck Norris blood type is AK47.

[@michaelcummingsherrera1232]

When Chuck Norris speaks, E F Hutton listens.

[@mungarthedestroyer]

Chuck Norris quells his heartburn with napalm. Chuck Norris uses gravel on his slip n slide.

[@ROBLOVESTHECORE7]

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger and yelling "BANG".

[@Russianbanjo]

I heard that in 1945 Chuck Norris fell out of a plane twice the aftermath was Hiroshima and Nagasaki

[@Skoc90]

When Chuck Norris opens the window, the Oxygen leaves the room.

[@larryhatfield7372]

Chuck Norris could get P Diddy out of trouble

[@cruzer05]

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to make a stick.

[@DarkoP9.13]

Chuck Noris's words are always uplifting only because they defy the law of gravity...

[@homeandacre]

We don’t know if Chuck Norris can lift Thor’s hammer, he never needed it.

[@Allan_aka_RocKITEman]

The _Unicycle_ bit is one of my favorites. So is _Swim Through Land._ 😊

[@TexasSteel]

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

[@harryboyes2812]

And then he drove his mother home from the hospital.

[@spreadingthelightofchristj9081]

Chuck Norris can travel faster than light!

[@beyondmeasure8088]

Chuck Norris doesn’t go swimming, he just allows water to be around him 😂

[@tiggalong227]

Chuck Norris doesn’t look for jobs. They queue up and wait for him to do when he’s ready .

[@BrexterRojo]

existence exist because chuck exist

[@YevgeniyShcherbakov]

What about - Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with an ironed shirt and a sandwich.

[@Nightdare]

👍❤🤣

[@Rrramon790]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@singriioticstudios]

Best comment 😂😂😂

[@Leftists_are_Losers]

Chuck Norris doesn’t paint the town red, he just stares at it until the walls blush.

[@Lightmaker5]

Chuck Norris can still repair the Titanic and continue its journey to New York.

[@s.gsaiphilip8813]

Chuck Norris never takes painkillers.. Pain takes Chuckillers..

[@AndrewAguilar-w3v]

Chuck norris doesn't shower he stares at it until it starts to cry

[@katieandkevinsears7724]

I'm happy I have something in common with Chuck. I too can sneeze with my eyes open. He's probably OK with that. I learned how to because I had a teacher in school who claimed it was impossible.

[@seanhill8949]

Chuck Norris once back handed Rudolph now we know why he has a red nose

[@markengler5614]

Your FICO determines your credit worthiness, however your Norris score determines your fate

[@FriendChicken]

Chuck Norris reads newspapers in 4k.

[@killianjohn4794]

Chuck Norris won an American idol by using sign language

[@KingOfGamesss]

When 'Chuck Norris' tells somebody to "Hurry up!"...he snaps THEIR fingers (Literally)

[@Honey_beePolska]

when Chuck Norris is late they are sorry for starting wihout him

[@BrentWelch-z8i]

Chuck Norris can cut down an Oak tree with a pocket knife.

[@jenningsslayer314]

No one needs an alarm in their home, just a picture of Chuck Norris on the front door.

[@johnnyrhl6740]

they once made Chuck Norris toiletpaper, but it wouldn't take shit from anyone

[@DoubeEdged7]

Chuck Norris doesn't have Alzheimer's because it saw Chuck and forgot what to do

[@RajJaiRaj]

When butterflies are in love they feel Chuck Norris in their belly🦋

[@wormhunter89yt74]

Chuck Norris doesn't break boards he stares at them and they break themselves.

[@moseswongsengfu4225]

When chuck norris dive 5000 feet down the ocean and his oxygen run out, he go back up to the surfer to refill it.

[@Billtwiggmeister]

Chuck Norris created the entire species of giraffe. He got into a fist fight with a herd of horses and gave them all upper cuts.

[@Mackymemes212]

Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

[@Mrjokak]

Chuck Morris once got frost bite from fire

[@VukGvozden]

When Chuck Norris enters the water he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Norrised

[@cephelps6339]

I’m hurting from the laughter 🤣😂

[@xenonomy1258]

Chuck Norris doesn't aim, his bullets just know not to miss 🤣

[@Thaumazo83]

When Chuck Norris left his parents' home on his 18th birthday, he told his father: "You are the family man now".

[@k9mouse]

Take one drink every time "Chuck Norris" is said... I dare ya!

[@glitchylol2546]

Alcohol poisoning speedrun Norris%

[@homeandacre]

Two wrongs don’t make a right but Chuck Norris only needs one right to make everyone wrong.

[@heru-deshet359]

Hurricanes happen when Chuck Norris farts.

[@quicklinecomedy]

lol.

[@sarahberkner]

I watched an interview with him, and I like that the boogeyman one was his personal favorite.

[@biancablayze1453]

The "Most Interesting Man in the World" is a disciple of Chuck Norris.

[@tiggalong227]

Chuck Norris doesn’t blink the light turns off temporarily. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep late times just running early

[@Leatherface123.]

Chuck Norris stacked his spare bricks after building a house, as a result we now have New York City

[@kflem80]

Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn. He stares at it and dares it to grow

[@RajJaiRaj]

When CN wants to sleep he puts the Sandman in his eyes

[@russellhorsefield9199]

Chuck Norris kicked Covid 19 in the knackers

[@quicklinecomedy]

Chuck Norris didn’t get Covid; Covid caught Chuck Norris.

[@NoixNoir-gu4fd]

No it didn't. Traveling by air is far too slow of a method to catch Chuck Norris.

[@russellhorsefield9199]

@@quicklinecomedy AND CHUCK still would had gave it a low blow.

[@DrGeorgeAntonios]

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.

[@liambridges]

i drank a gin and tonic. watched this. i cried. literally cried. so freaking hard