10 More Outrageously Dumb Darwin Award Winners

[@LocalHeretic-ck1kd]

"One video is hardly enough to contain all of the worlds stupidity." Well said Mr. Simon. Well said.

[@martinmccomb5462]

One large library probably couldn't do it LOL!

[@billh.1940]

It is a start!

[@scottdoesntmatter4409]

By definition, 100 IQ is average. That means 50% are above it, and 50% are below. This is what humanity really is, campers.

[@FrederickPurcell-py7bx]

​@@scottdoesntmatter4409 I say we get Sponsor involved with a highly competive Darwins to kill off the Stupid and put it on liv Television

[@williamclarke4510]

​@@scottdoesntmatter4409That means that a quarter of the people are really stupid.

[@uprightape100]

"People falling off cliffs in Yosemite whilst selfie-ing" should be its own category.

[@bonnie.duncan]

Upright Ape - another one fell and died last week...smh

[@davidsmart2252]

Not just in Yosemite. Three people fell to their death within just eight days at the Grand Canyon this year.

[@AlexanderRJaruk]

Lacking Excellence.

[@peterf.229]

@@davidsmart2252 happens a lot, they need to update the book, Over the Edge, Deaths at the Grand Canyon. most were sadly not falls but over weight people trying to hike ot the river and back in a day with no water.

[@zencat999]

not to mention the people that get boiled at yellowstone while trying to rescue his dog that was already dead afer it jumped in.

[@robertphillips6296]

I remember that one about the mugger shooting himself during a robbery. There was one about a man that tried to siphon gasoline from a camper but he placed to hose in the wrong tank and got a mouth full of sewage instead.

[@michaelmoore7975]

Yup. I remember it like this: My favorite was the guy who robbed a ? and was stuffing the money inside his jacket _with his gun hand,_ and conveniently blew his own head off. He was the defendant, judge, jury, and executioner all in one.

[@raymondclark1785]

Back in 57 I looked out our window to see a local honey siphoning diesel out of a bulldozer into her Thunderbird I wonder how she explained that to daddy

[@BedsitBob]

Bring a whole new meaning to the term Potty Mouth. 😁

[@flagmichael]

That seems not very likely. In siphoning the liquid is sucked up high enough in a long hose that the hose will have the liquid past the top of the tank level when the tube is stuck into the receiving container. Getting gasoline in one's mouth is as bad as getting sewage in it.

[@RideAcrossTheRiver]

It's a bit nutty ...

[@Mars-ev7qg]

In 2012 a man living near Richmond Virginia was keeping a large number of venomous snakes as pets in completely inadequate cages all over the dilapidated shack he called a home. As you probably guessed this was highly illegal. One night a cobra escaped from its cage and bit the idiot who owned it. The man was later found dead in the house. This was the first fatal snake bite in Virginia for a very long time. The police found more than twenty venomous snakes in the house from all over the world. I think that this guy deserves a Darwin award.

[@Whitpusmc]

The cactus one is my favorite. Buy a freaking $.05 paper target and leave the hundred year old plants in peace.

[@briant7265]

It is actually fun to shoot holes in something until it falls down. Like a 4×4 for example. The best way to do it is to stand up two boards and have two groups compete to see who can saw theirs off the quickest. Murdering saguaro deserves a prickly death.

[@babboon5764]

Arm the Cactuses .......... Its the only way

[@patricktaylor6761]

@@babboon5764 Nature has already done that - as this idiot found to his cost.

[@terryh5763]

lots of stupid gun people who should be in this category i bet.. leave the guns to the police and military and hunters.. NOT the idiots who shoot cacti

[@updownstate]

@@babboon5764 They have arms, silly.

[@raysaunier8071]

Loved the one about the bomber who had her device set off by a “Happy New Year” message.🤣

[@monteceitomoocher]

😂😂😂😂 classic!.

[@TheSuburban15]

I've never gotten _under_ a vehicle to remove the wheels. It is simply not a required part of the process.

[@Septfox]

Probably figured he'd grab the catalytic converter while he was at it. Stupid *and* greedy.

[@ricklett1688]

Probably changing the oil out of guilt.

[@seanseoltoir]

And cinder blocks *can* hold up a vehicle, IF you are smart enough to orient them the right way and put a board across the top to distribute the load correctly. The holes have to be oriented vertically, just like they are when you are building a wall. Concrete is strong in compression, but not in tension. Orienting the cinder blocks so that the holes are horizontal and then putting a car on top will likely result in a point load over one of the hollow areas which will result in the concrete in that area being in tension. It will not support much weight that way.

[@apocalypsepanda1415]

Hey he is stupid

[@heresjohnny6598]

@@seanseoltoir you are 100% correct sir

[@unrulymuse]

"There is a stereotype that... stockbrokers are pumped up on caffeine and adrenaline." Weird way to pronounce cocaine, but ok.

[@billb0313]

Ha! 😂👍

[@bobbobson5245]

He pronounced amphetamine weird too.

[@scegenius6275]

Muse He’s British stupid...those are the British pronunciations 😝

[@weltonvillegal6258]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@nursenatedawg]

SCE Genius 🤦🏼‍♂️ it was a joke bud

[@siggyretburns7523]

Missionary: I'm here to introduce you to your maker. Tribesman: No. We're here to introduce YOU to YOUR maker.

[@saschamayer4050]

Checkmate.

[@gamingdemigodxiii5630]

@@exotic_lobster69 He is a Christian missionary, so of course he wasn't in his right mind. He was too high on zealous faith.

[@siggyretburns7523]

@@gamingdemigodxiii5630 You are 100% correct. Think for a second. If he had pulled it off and converted them all. But National Georaphic gave him zero credit, what are the odds of him trying it again? Probably next to none. So who exactly is he really trying to save?

[@onose10000]

@@siggyretburns7523 his ego

[@nowthatsjustducky]

Just getting started listening to this... I am guessing this one is about that idiot that tried to evangelize the people of Sentinel Island?

[@Tlyna1952]

We had one here in southwest Florida a couple of years ago. The man went swimming in a pond on a golf course to retrieve a bunch of golf balls and was killed by a gator. Anyone who spends any time in Florida knows there could be and probably are gators in any body of water down here (I've even seen one in a large mud puddle) and he was a native Floridian so definitely qualifies for an award.

[@DeathbyPixels]

Tlyna1952 I’ve never even been to Florida but just reading the start of this story I knew how it was gonna end lmao

[@pawwalker3492]

Agreed. Anyone going into natural water in Fla is looking to get eaten. And you need to look into your swimming pool to make sure there aren't any uninvited guests.

[@Tlyna1952]

@@pawwalker3492 LOL, oh yeah. Years ago when I lived in Florida previously I was awakened one morning by shouts and found that a 10 ft gator had climbed the fence into the pool at my apartment complex. I also check outside my door before opening it, especially at night in case one may be lurking there as I live on a small lake and they are known to wander around the houses and often actually up to your door. My neighbor one time had to wait to go on a shopping trip because one was snoozing in her driveway. If you are careful and observant gators aren't that dangerous. If you are careless and oblivious to your surroundings you can end up gator chow.

[@pawwalker3492]

@@Tlyna1952 Gator Chow - I LOVE that! People really have to learn to respect wildlife everywhere. I hiked all around Tucson AZ and had several mountain lion encounters. I'm still here. Careful and observant _IS_ the key (works with bears, coyotes, and White Mountain wolves)

[@STScott-qo4pw]

@@Tlyna1952 i've heard they can climb 4 ft fences (without razor wire lol) and are actually fairly speedy for the first twenty feet. any truth to this?

[@CandC68]

Old crooks story. I heard this on the radio while I was delivering tires near Nutley NJ. I can't recall the exact date, but was probably in the late '60s. In a warehousing area a man thought he smelled smoke so he checked around the area in case there might have been a burning warehouse. While looking for a fire, he came upon a strange scene that was self explanatory. Remember, back then copper was worth money. What had happened was three geniuses noticed a long string of wire strung between the power company poles. One of these cables ended without connecting to any building. So the three figured to cut off a long piece of it for the copper. As two held the aluminum ladder, the third went up to cut the wire. There was no warehouse fire. The smoke came from these three who crispied themselves on 13,000 volts.

[@catjudo1]

That voltage still wouldn't be enough for a Norwegian Blue to see the fjords of Scandinavia again...

[@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith]

I bet that was a rather... SHOCKING, experience! They must have gotten quite a... CHARGE, out of it!

[@thehellyousay]

@@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith *grrrroooooooooaannnnnn*

[@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith]

@@thehellyousay Darn, and here I thought my humor was... ELECTRIFYING!

[@stadleroux]

Copper is still worth money, and cable theft, as we call it here in South Africa, is a major enough problem that it is treated as a separate category crime, with one or more less competent perpetrators being fried to a crisp every once in a while... 🤨🫣😒

[@Niinsa62]

A friend of mine had his motorcycle stolen. The thief removed the license plate and left it on the ground. With his fingerprints on it. The cops said they had caught this same thief before. The same way. Not really a Darwin award, but still...

[@velkanzi]

Stories about stupid thieves is also an entertaining topic.

[@deboracopeland4795]

There is a famous story about a guy who ran into a yard doing all kinds of damage to a fence etc. He went home and called his buddies to come fix his car up so not to show any damage and get away with his hit and run. All that trouble to find out that he had left his plate at the yard he destroyed. Ha ha. Your story reminded me of it.❤

[@updownstate]

At least he's working toward the award.

[@rachelgarber1423]

Right up there with Stupid Criminals

[@kefkaZZZ]

I mean, for a common theif that’s as close as you get!

[@a.gordon.1385]

Highly inaccurate description of the death of Jimi Heselden. A guy who was well liked around here in Yorkshire for his philanthropy, amongst other work. There is no "Leeds River" he was near Thorp Arch and he fell off a cliff along the River Wharfe. He didn't fly off out of control. He was backing up to give way to a dog walker.

[@paulheap1982]

Or, nice guy does something stupid and people will say anything to defend him.

[@thomaslester6173]

Yeah Simon needs to work on his knowledge of the north...

[@xocoyotl4]

Sounds stupid still

[@a.gordon.1385]

@@legpad5857 Selling bags that make temporary walls or flood defenses? It doesn't seem immoral to me or am I missing something?

[@dorrisgonnawreckyou7111]

aw poor guy, and poor dog walker! must have been pretty harrowing.

[@PanzerDave]

We must remember that every pool needs skimming, including and especially the gene pool!

[@billyandrew]

Dredging the gene pool is more appropriate. 😜😂😂😂

[@AnnoyingMoose]

There is simply too much chlorine in these gene pools.

[@johnbockelie3899]

Cactus revenge story is the best.

[@Rog5446]

My favourite Darwin award winner was the guy whose vehicle broke down next to a rail track. He got out of his vehicle and used his phone to call for a breakdown truck, but unfortunately, he decided to walk along the track while phoning. The driver of a train said he was sounding the horn, but the man had his phone stuck to his ear. Nuff said.

[@spaceman081447]

I think that one is an urban legend for the following reasons: (1) A railroad engine's horn is extremely LOUD. (2) An approaching train shakes the ground, which can be felt a LONG way away.

[@malectric]

The number of people who are wedded (welded?) to their phones is legion. Wired for sound I say. Many have wandered into the path of a bus, blissfully unaware of what is going on in the real world around them.

[@10tonhamster]

My all time favourite is a zoo keeper who hated his job so much that when drunk he tried to poo on his tiger that he was responsible for, and unsurprisingly it killed him.

[@aussie870]

But frequently in scenarios like that the Tiger is put down within the following days.

[@eddieb7054]

Was his name, 'Winnie'?

[@c.j.cleveland7475]

No sh*t?

[@seastarslark2301]

@@c.j.cleveland7475 :DDDDDDDDDD

[@michaelmoore7975]

Hmmm....death by feline hemorrhoidectomy. Prolly the same amount of pain as a regular one.

[@JamesRichardWiley]

Protected hundred year old Saguaro Cactus riddled with bullets falls on laughing POS shooter and kills him. YES! I love it.

[@jgw5491]

Kids, don't attack plants that are armed.

[@bbhrdzaz]

full grown ones weigh several tons!

[@ginnyjollykidd]

Saguaro cactus is no wallflower or shrinking violet! 😂

[@ginnyjollykidd]

@@jgw5491 Armed! Hahaha! 😂👍

[@jakelowang4132]

Nature have a sick twisted humor.

[@Steppenwolf27]

I remember reading the news story about the missionary who got himself killed. What really bothered me about the article was that his family said they forgave the tribe. They should have been apologizing to the tribe for their son's reckless behavior.

[@pollypockets508]

I also read that he had been there the day before. They chased him away. So this was his second attempt.

[@Ajehy]

No kidding, he could’ve killed them all.

[@Normal1855]

I agree. They forgave the tribe, like they did something wrong? So according to them, a person needs forgiveness from the family of a thief, if the thief gets killed breaking into a house?

[@sergeiyzerman7240]

@@Normal1855 He was not a thief. Your point makes no sense. And yes, killing a man for nothing more than trespassing is doing something wrong. He was murdered and his family was the victims.

[@JulieWallis1963]

@@sergeiyzerman7240 ODFOD! The simpleton was in the wrong, the tribe are protected for a reason. He was potentially out to kill them all, he could have infected them with a simple cold and killed them all. But he thought his imaginary friend was more important than the lives of an entire nation. All be it a small nation.

[@oOoJeeoOo]

The guy who asked his gf to shot him with a desert eagle protecting himself with a phone book is one of the best

[@zaidshah4535]

Lmaooo

[@zaidshah4535]

Wasnt it a .44 ?

[@MK-hh1vo]

Surprised that wasn't on the list!

[@comettamer]

Geezuz

[@ManetInAEternum]

@@zaidshah4535 it was .50AE and happened here in Minnescrotum

[@stanbarker3764]

# 3 - Heard that one on local radio the day it happened. Happened near Lake Pleasant which is north by northwest of Phoenix. A little known fact, saguaro cacti can weigh several hundred pounds per foot of height due to the water they retain. Not uncommon for a 10 to 15 foot tall specimen to weigh several tons. It is not the stabbing cactus needles that kill you, it is the crushing weight.

[@thehellyousay]

They bought it in every sense of the term.

[@flagmichael]

For needles, it is hard to beat the very common Cholla cactus. Rarely more than about 4 feet tall, they have fearsome coats of barbed needles. They are sometimes called "jumping cactus" because it is tricky to squeeze past one. Those barbs take every opportunity to catch victims like the devil's Velcro.

[@mrroboshadow]

i can imagine that dude in jail "so what are you in for?" and a few minutes later the roaring laughter of everyone in earshot

[@DEADisBEAUTIFUL]

I loved that you laughed and were grinning about the man’s stupidity which caused him to jump into the tiger’s cage.....followed by you mentioning that he’d been killed. You also mentioned the tiger purring, but they aren’t capable of producing a purr. Just loud roaring that the thief probably wished he heard prior to flinging himself directly into the mouth of the beast. 🤣🤣🤣

[@flagmichael]

True - felines can purr or they can roar. The mechanics of the vocal chords do not permit both. Roaring felines can produce chuckles but not purrs.

[@DEADisBEAUTIFUL]

@@flagmichael Oh, I remember this one…this is a great video. And it’s been forever since I watched it. I guess I’ll view this one again!

[@adam346]

we really should not be laughing at other people's untimely deaths... didn't stop me though.

[@kayskidf1]

i just really really hope i don't die in a "memorable and unusual" way. hate for that to be the last memory of me and plus how are my friends and family NOT going to laugh at some point during the memorial/party?

[@mystic_tacos]

@@kayskidf1 I ABSOLUTELY want my death to be darwin worthy... When I'm a lot older! I want my memorial service, which I've begged them not to have but they will, to be a giggle fest, so why not have it at my expense!!

[@theodorefrazier2989]

Stupid people deserve to be laughed at. In life and in death.

[@catzkeet4860]

Oh I beg to differ.....the cactus plugging moron’s rather apt exit had me lol ing all over

[@JeantheSecond]

Except for the bomber.

[@gingermoore4561]

Simon, I always look forward to watching your new videos. I quite enjoy your knack for sarcasm on the Darwin Award videos. Please continue to post more of your exceedingly entertaining work.

[@Martin.Wilson]

I'm still trying to figure out how you remove the wheels off of a car while lying underneath it. Bizarre.

[@Moletrouser]

Certainly , but not as bizarre as *laying* underneath it: Mr. Whistler has been associating with Americans for too long.

[@christophersargeant4545]

Maybe he had really poor grip strength and instead of pulling, he had to resort to pushing. That's all I've got lol.

[@martinmccomb5462]

Perhaps attempting to retrieve a dropped tool? Or trying to steal the catalytic converter also? Just a couple theories.

[@MrEsMysteriesMagicks]

"I say, Holmes, have you found the answer to the conundrum this unfortunate has left behind?" "I have, Watson, and it is as elementary as can be. Clearly, we are dealing with an extremely stupid individual. Therefore, I deduce that he obviously read the owner's manual upside down."

[@thomasraahauge5231]

Daniel Rodriguez: Or was he tyred?

[@kenhelmers2603]

As always, the Darwin Awards videos make me laugh - thanks Simon!

[@duffduffington843]

There are more and more contestants vying for this award in the recent years. The US has some pro level contenders. Looks like we're taking all the gold medals this year.

[@jamesduncan6729]

USA! USA! USA! 😎🇺🇸

[@crappyaccount]

@@darrickcortez7672 and the lockdown protestors And the conspiracy theorists And the religious nuts And the anti-maskers And the anti vaxxers Etc.

[@CrypticConsole]

Donald trump will win at some point

[@emansnas]

Hmm... imagine that somewhere in this vast universe there exists a civilization (worthy of the name) that 'ordains' some of its members (those properly qualified with sufficient intellect and wisdom) as 'caretakers' to whom the authority and means have been granted to responsibly 'eliminate on the spot' unacceptably stupid genetic throwbacks (or whatever terminology might be used by such advanced civilization). I suspect on the universal scale of 'civilized', the untenably dysfunctional population of Earth likely ranks around the 95th percentile... on the wrong end. Hmm... does this channel's narrator look a bit alien or what... makes one wonder if given the right 'persuasion' if it might not be possible to obtain a visa or similar. Hmm

[@RaiderDave-xe1pn]

As well as the Silver and Bronzes'

[@seecha8970]

The Sentinelese case. You didn't mention that he was killed on his SECOND attempt after he was ran off the island during his first attempt.

[@azanathwhateley7235]

Doesn't really pertain to the video dude. It's a video about stupid people. Not that guy specifically

[@donjones4719]

@@azanathwhateley7235 Sorry, disagree. It's about how mortally stupid these individuals are. A less stupid person would have figured out contacting this tribe was lethally dangerous after a near-miss brush with death.

[@ladycplum]

@Gingerscantbepirates Pardon me, I happen to be a Christian, and even I wouldn't be so stupid as to try and force my religion on anyone, let a lone on a tribe I know is hostile to outsiders and I know could be exposed to germs they've probably never been touched by.

[@esmenouvelle9439]

The Sentinelese guy was Death by Hubris, more common among missionary types than millennials.

[@JamesRichardWiley]

Religion poisons everything.

[@RabidKanid]

To be fair to the Segway guy that died, Segways aren’t really something that you just ‘jump off’. It uses a gyroscope mechanism that shifts where the Segway moves based on how much you’re leaning forward, back and to the sides. The best way to get off a Segway is to come to a full stop in one spot and step off it backwards. If you just jump off I imagine the machine would shift direction to the same place you’re trying to jump off and you’d be horribly injured as the machine tries to meet you half way in some fashion. I drove and learned how to use a Segway once as part of a Disney event, so I’m aware of how tricky it can be to get on or off those things.

[@seecha8970]

Horribly injured is still a million times better than dead.

[@irobott3713]

5:10 Thieves steal wheels off police cars ... Cops say they will work tirelessly untill items are recovered.

[@gbear1005]

Steal?

[@irobott3713]

@@gbear1005 you are correct . I have edited the spelling. To quote Bender from Futurama .. "I'm so embarrassed - I wish everyone else was dead"

[@stevenhailey9639]

OK It took me a second but I got it.

[@donzemanovic4205]

That's bad. 😀

[@gwenmartinsen3979]

Groan.

[@juliaset751]

I have always wondered about people using cell phones as detonators. I always get calls at the worst possible time.

[@JohnJ469]

So did she.

[@russlehman2070]

Killing terrorists might be the only redeeming feature of robocalls.

[@RosesTeaAndASD]

Im dying😂😂😂

[@Jefe_Huncho187]

Same, I'd get a call from scam likely

[@jrb2280]

@@RosesTeaAndASD hysterical!

[@roycsinclair]

The biggest problem I have with the Darwin Awards is that they often give them to people who have already passed their genes on, negating the whole point of the award.

[@thijsjong]

In case of threatening overpopualtion intelligent people do not reproduce because they do not want their offspring to life on an overpopuated poluted world. Leaving the genes for lesser intellingence to thrive in an overpopualted world. The genes of stupid people and the people who do not care about future suffering survive into the next generatons. The genes for people able to work a solution to the problem out get filtered out by a behavioral sink. ....WE ARE DOOMED....

[@janek9090]

​@@thijsjong thus making the so called 'intelligent ' actually stupid. Why? If we need a majority to regulate what s is going on, then it needs to be a majority. Point proven, those who do not reproduce (and pass intelligence forward AND making it the majority) are actually making the most stupid mistake. OR we ditch the democracy into meritocracy where people do not vote, people need to pass multiple exams (the best best best score wins) BUT that gives them the power to rule and create essential regulations based on calculations and measurement... hurrah by doing so we have achieved new-world order totalitarianism :) ... run probably by Elon Musk :)

[@macman975]

The 1st guy at Number 10 was out to try and get money anyway he could, it was going to buy food, because he had just lost a child to malnutrition and he had another two that were dying. He lost his business and his residence above his shop when a local gang, who were running a protection racket, burnt it down because he could not afford the protection money, as a tiny business he couldn't afford insurance. He didn't hurt anyone and carried a small knife just to scare people into giving him some money so he could feed his wife and children. It was such a heartbreaking story 😢

[@andrealynn7979]

I know!! Too bad they diluted the whole gene pool.

[@thelivealohashow6162]

Actually, from what I'd read, if they had any children, they are not eligible for a "Darwin Award." But still entertaining anyway.

[@hughgordon6435]

A "murderous tribe?" How's about a suicidal missionary with a death wish?

[@aberamagold7509]

Or, in simpler terms, "a complete moron."

[@hurdygurdyman1905]

It is a tribe thst murders people, so it's correct.

[@snkybrki]

The two aren't mutually exclusive. The missionary was mentally stunted to think that the infamously "we attack/kill outsiders" tribe was gonna take to his evangelism well. But they still killed the man. There's no two ways about that.

[@flagmichael]

@@snkybrki They played by the rules.

[@snkybrki]

@@flagmichael What rules might that be?

[@simonpeter5032]

“Grown up hearing stories of foreign men who had tried to enslave them” Probably true

[@censusgary]

There were definitely people trying to enslave the Andaman Islanders a few generations ago. That young evangelist was one of the few people who have tried to bother them recently.

[@troy3456789]

it was mainly locals in Africa, and still is today. it is easy to stay away from trusting someone who doesn't look like you; not so easy if they look like you but need some money.

[@weltonvillegal6258]

Yeah, pretty much.

[@ancientmingyu0604]

Most definitely true.

[@throatwobblermangrove8510]

Well, he did say that the British had "colonized" the place.

[@old-moose]

As a retired history instructor, I love the Darwin Awards.

[@caroljomartin3051]

As a reasonably intelligent person, I do, too!

[@danielfronc4304]

Thank you very much for your services over the years. I've always taught my sons to study all kinds of world history so as to learn what might be lurking "around the corner" timewise, so to speak. Born in 1957 with a father who was a highly placed mechanical engineer designer of weapons systems and their outfitting on ships I watched Vietnam usually nightly and supported our supposed noble motivations for being there. However, as the goings on there were revealed over time, I realized that our cause was at the least poorly executed and more likely perverted by the military industrial complex. While still a conservative, I have made it a point to educate my boys as to the dangerous mix of politics, "police actions" (ie. warfare undeclared by Congress), and of a war run from the other side of the world. I have made it a point to make sure my boys know that any warfare that the politicians keep their own eligible children from fighting in deserves a very careful second consideration of being involved in. I wholly support our armed forces and the sacrifices they make but that it is the last form of legal slavery in the U.S. My wife, in the reserve, was pulled out of college and sent over to Saudi Arabia in DesertShield/Desert Storm. The stories that she told me were very interesting and illuminative that even over 20 years the military's mindset and actions haven't changed much at all.

[@greygibson2443]

As military, they help.

[@greygibson2443]

@@danielfronc4304 what are you ?

[@greygibson2443]

@@danielfronc4304 besides verbose.

[@jonathanwessner3456]

I am glad the missionary got an award. He actually went several times to try to get on the island. After the first time, he was explicitly told it was illegal and dangerous, and not to go back. He didn't listen, and tried landing at night (as, during the day, he had been fired at) So, yeah, definite darwin award nominee

[@nurnberghossnuggets1559]

I wish he'd have included that bit of information. It would be considered smart/logical (or anti rather) instead of an attack against faith.

[@jonathanwessner3456]

@@nurnberghossnuggets1559 The first time, he barely escaped with his life. The second time, they dragged his body to the beach so officials could recover it.

[@rachelgarber1423]

Oh he was a winner not just a nominee, so he got his just desserts, at least he wasn’t dinner 🤣😂

[@spaceman081447]

@@nurnberghossnuggets1559 RE: ". . . an attack against faith." What do you mean?

[@europeangardenflower9812]

@@nurnberghossnuggets1559 An attack on faith? That's a weird frasing. An attack on faith implies they killed him because he's Christian. That's not the case. These people can't communicate with him, they have no clue why he's there, who or what he is. And don't care either. They killed him because they didn't want him there and was trespassing.

[@Darkwollfe]

The person on the Segway was said to have been very polite. He moved in order to let someone pass by with a lot of space. That is what caused him to fall off the cliff.

[@davidripley2916]

. . .That AND gravity. . 😔

[@skunkrat01]

Great vid. I love the ones where Simon can be sarcastic and make jokes. Sometimes the subject matter is too heavy for that to be appropriate.

[@kennethdicke2125]

"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity." - Harlan Ellison

[@davematkins6829]

Re: Hydrogen & stupidity. Awesome quote! thank you 4 sharing.

[@struckfire3337]

I love the one about the suicide bomber that one's the best one of all happy New Year text Set It Off

[@davideggleston2752]

Must be the real reason phone companies send out those lame texts. 😂

[@andrewb378]

It would take like 10 seconds to program in a safeguard that would require that the bomb only goes off if contacted by a specific phone number. Removes this accident from occurring or from people with wrong numbers and the like. People don't safeguard their codes for accidents smh

[@thebeagles2025]

Its rare when I actually laugh out loud for real while watching youtube videos but I gotta say, I did with that one.

[@peterf.229]

@@andrewb378 sheesh dont give them ideas.

[@HellCat838whp]

She went out with a bang

[@jamesmcgrath1952]

It goes to show you. You can fix ignorance with an education but you just can't fix stupid.

[@sebione3576]

You can fix stupid with a "Darwin award"

[@thinkabout288]

why are some reversevoliving must be the water couldn't be our system da

[@thinkabout288]

@@gojirageek as a retired teacher i can tell you that is not correct ( at an early age )

[@thinkabout288]

@@gojirageek if u say so 🤣

[@nobodyimportant2470]

Duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.

[@Nitephall]

"The arrogance, overconfidence and entitlement of a millennial" 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Thank you for actually saying it.

[@kevindunne5753]

The best way to describe a millennial,

[@ajreukgjdi94]

Funny how Gen X is the main source of what Millennials are referring to as the 'Karen,' yet Millennials are the entitled ones? Every generation is full of overconfident and entitled people. The difference is, the older the generation, the more they should know better. They should have more experience and maturity. The best way to describe a Millennial, ​ @Kevin Dunne , is by saying they were born between 1981 and 1996. We're not special. We're not what's wrong with the world. And as much of an optimist as I try to be, I doubt we'll be able to fix the mess you've left us either 'cause we probably won't be any better. If you've met any Millennials that think differently, then they're just as deluded as the generations before them. Judging a generation by what they do in their teens and twenties is like judging a president's term in office by their college years. We haven't had our chance to run the world yet. The Boomers and Gen Xers still have most of the political power. So how can our contributions to the world be judged already?

[@klausolekristiansen2960]

I was disappointed by this. "The arrogance, overconfidence and entitlement of a missionary"vis what it was.

[@RideAcrossTheRiver]

@@ajreukgjdi94 Anyone who calls his generation "we" is an idiot.

[@merkabah2]

Cactus plugging: Thought this was about to be a case of sticking cactus up one's bung hole. :V lol

[@Tkieron]

Paige No!

[@prevost8686]

Juicy Smollet did that.

[@Stevenisbelieven]

I think that's called cactus pegging ;-)

[@zaidshah4535]

I thought it would be where they would to try to penetrate the plant.

[@jessicagalvin4598]

That second story really infuriated me when it came out. The news had commented in a way that made him sound like a hero trying to save an evil group of savages. Your religion does not give you the right to break the law and endanger yourself and others. He could have killed them all trying to bring a book the natives can’t even read.

[@Paiadakine]

Very true. Millions of people have been killed by missionaries spreading their religion on others.

[@ROBERTGOTSCHALL-j8u]

The missionary group the kid was involved with wanted the natives charged because the "missionary" had a right to be there, unlike the natives I guess?

[@pickleism253]

I really wonder what was going through his mind, like you reached the island you landed safely now what? How will u communicate with the locals?? Sign langauge?? Telepathy?? Not only that but even convince them to believe things they probably cant even comprehend

[@leeenfield4900]

Not like History is rich in various "Explorer / Missionaries murdering and raping local cultures they "discover".

[@twistedleft1060]

A while back in Baltimore, a guy robbed a parking garage. As he was absconding with the cash, he stuck his sawed off shotgun into his pants. Yes, he blew all the family jewels completely off. Then he died from blood loss.

[@jasontodd8071]

I remember that one!

[@Rebar77_real]

My favorite Darwin Award story is of these two teens who were bored and went out looking for something like weed to smoke. So they were walking in the woods smoking random plants to see if they would catch a buzz. They ended up smoking Poison Oak and their throats swelled shut before they could get to help. First heard that on the show 1000 ways to die or something similar.

[@chocomanger6873]

Meh. Not too dramatic. Just a mistake.

[@getmeoutofsanfrancisco9917]

The funny thing is weed is so cheap, they probably would have gotten a buzz faster just coming up with $5, lol.

[@thehellyousay]

Urban myths.

[@monicasalyer8875]

I loved that show!

[@rob4java]

I think Darwin Awards should only mention people that get themselves killed. The story of the fellow that attempted to rob a hotdog vendor and ends shooting his own hotdog and lives, shouldn't be mentioned.

[@dillionedmonds5736]

I remember reading an article a few days ago about a guy who was robbed and called the police who came out and took a report about what was taken, who got up the following day and went to clean up the mess the burglar had made and had to call the police a second time because when he looked under a old solid steel safe that had been tipped over, he found the body of one of the burglars.

[@quantisedspace7047]

How come the police didn't notice the DB when they originally came to investigate ?

[@Spyderredtoo]

The fact that only one body was found may also suggest that, if there was more than one thief, this might have been a murder. Or that the owner of the safe had set a booby trap. If so, the event gives depth of meaning to home defense.

[@thehellyousay]

@@Spyderredtoo what is wrong with you?

[@Steppenwolf27]

This sounds fake. How did nobody notice the smell? The guy who got squished would have defecated and urinated all over himself. Also, how did the police not notice that the safe wasn't sitting flat on the floor? How big would that safe have to be to completely cover a human body? Where did you read this article? The Warner Brothers Times? The Coyote and Roadrunner Gazette? The Onion?

[@98f5]

Link to the news story? Sounds like the best story

[@calraise6460]

Dammit. I accidentally clicked one of your videos and I can already see I’ll be here a while.

[@seastarslark2301]

Same thing happened to me. Dammit is right !!

[@antonbruce1241]

@@seastarslark2301 I know...they are WAY too difficult to pass by...

[@randallulrich]

@CalRaise: Yep. It's kind of like watching a slow motion train wreck. You know it's going to be horrible, yet you can't look away.

[@joatmon2623]

A bit Harsh on Jimi Heselden, his company made the bags they fill with earth to create temporary protective walls, they've also been used for flood defences, not exactly arms dealing . Apparently he died reversing his Segway to make room for a dog walker on the path near his home.

[@louisebentley4886]

And the Leeds River? The one that doesn't exist? Lazy research lol

[@beauxbromwell5121]

He’s the only one I actually felt bad for and didn’t even know this part about him. 🙏🏽❤️

[@paulluce2557]

His 'Concertainer' wire basket system was the primary defence wall of Camp Bastion in Afghanistan. He also gave millions to Leeds and other West Yorkshire hospices and other causes.

[@thenightowldude]

#1 - Faked an attack on himself to gain sympathy. At least that would never happen these days (wink, wink).

[@mathieuleader8601]

SMOLLET

[@shotforshot5983]

But he didn't have the nerve to do it himself....

[@dlcalbaugh]

He Jussie'd himself.

[@420sakura1]

Most common type of scheme of scumbags. It happened to my family once.

[@jaysonchilds4676]

Too bad he did not end up on this list... yet.

[@davegoldspink5354]

😂🤣😂 Great stuff I’ve heard many of these many times before and it still cracks me up hearing stories like these. That old saying you can’t help stupid always springs to mind whenever I hear stories like these.

[@deezimmo4814]

In 1982 in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, my late husband's friend accidentally killed himself setting up a "Devil's Night" prank; the deceased was 18 years old. The victim tried to string a wire across a high-voltage line (that supplied current to the iron mine across the field) in order to "hang" a dummy. People in the store across the field called the fire dept because they thought someone had set the field ablaze; it was the victim going up in flames from the electrical current.

[@flagmichael]

Voltage to a mine is likely to be 69Kv - more than enough to do the job.

[@Benson_aka_devils_advocate_88]

How you said saguaro was so hilarious I had to back up numerous times to listen to it! Sorry, I'm born and raised in Arizona, and I love listening to people try to pronounce some of the words from the SW USA. The gila monster is a common one, it's (heal-ah) monster...

[@jackielinde7568]

Hehehe... Yeah, I had to stop the video to write out how to pronounce our iconic cactus's name. Thank goodness he didn't try to pronounce "Tohono O’odham", the people who made extensive use of the beloved plant. (I know how the name's supposed to be pronounced, and I still find myself tripping over that one.)

[@catjudo1]

Saguaros form some of the most striking and beautiful landscapes I've ever seen. Though my goal is to move back out west, probably to Flagstaff, I'd take drives south just to see the Sonoran desert. If I could see one more Arizona sunset, I would die content.

[@ralph40]

Suh Warr o, or there abouts In s Texas, Mejia, affectionately known as mah hair Cheers

[@jackielinde7568]

@@ralph40 I'm scratching my head on this one. There are no wild Saguaro in Texas. Heck, Saguaro aren't native to either Texas or New Mexico. Just Arizona, Sonora Mex. and a little bit of California. (Just a smidge.)

[@wolfman5833]

I used to be a Missionary like you, until I took an Arrow to the Knee...and the Face🤣😂🤣😂

[@Primalxbeast]

The only cool person who ever used a segway was "Weird Al" Yankovic, and he used it ironically.

[@MastaSmack]

Two ply toilet paper!

[@MastaSmack]

I think only the most dedicated, hardcore Weird Al fan would get why I said that.

[@Primalxbeast]

MastaSmack Whatever you Like

[@guardsmanom134]

@@MastaSmack only if they're trying to catch you white and nerdy...

[@carlcushmanhybels8159]

Yes, one of the weird-miss things about Segways, clever as their balance engineering is, Segways are of no use whatever for people with compromised, injured or even tired legs or feet, or hurting backs. =You have to stand on them. If Segway made a sitting model, that would have a market.

[@laurawillits176]

"chlorinating the human gene pool." Almost fell over, laughing so hard.

[@alexandergolec2478]

Jimi Heselden was riding around his land where he allowed people to walk their dogs. He stopped and moved backwards to let someone past, whilst doing so he had a heart attack and ended up going over the edge of a cliff and fell to his death. I met him and been to his house and seen where he fell to his death, i worked on building the garage extension. He also gave 25million of his own personal money to Help for Heroes 3 weeks before he passed away, Maybe do some research before mocking people!

[@micahvan2910]

Those who do the most charity tend to do the most terrany.

[@evolutionhasevidenceopinio5234]

@@micahvan2910 evidence of that fact = religion.

[@tedlebo]

I don't think this Simon believes in research. I've noticed before that his "facts" are often NOT facts.

[@barquerojuancarlos7253]

After the Ludlow Massacre of 1914 at a Rockefeller owned mining interest in Colorado, JD Rockefeller, from the advice of his publicist (today we'd call him, his PR advisor), Ivy Lee, began giving money away to improve his public image. It worked for JD then and for rich guys ever since, unfortunately.

[@RideAcrossTheRiver]

@@micahvan2910 What's 'terrany'?

[@brasstacks2201]

finally, someone who actually knows the definition to darwin award. ive seen so many videos on youtube claim to have darwin awards, but nobody dies in them.......

[@jackielinde7568]

Well, you don't have to die. You just have to be taken out of the gene pool. Death is usually the most effective method, but all that really counts is the loss of the ability to reproduce.

[@brasstacks2201]

youre both idiots. let me go rewatch all of those videos again and see if every single one of them has guys blowing their nuts off. nope.

[@Strype13]

"Man Blows Off Hotdog While Robbing Weiner Stand"

[@flagmichael]

Jay Leno once monologued from a newspaper story about a gang banger (in L.A., I think) who wanted to show off his sawed off shotgun at a party. He pulled it out of the front of his pants but hit the trigger before getting it all the way out. The story said he was unhurt, prompting Leno to wonder, "Which is worse? Firing a shotgun down the front of your pants or not hitting anything?"

[@CliftonPhotographer]

Guess he couldn't cut the mustard as a thief.. Someone should ketchup with him and see how he's doing. 😏😏

[@ellisclevenger2860]

@@CliftonPhotographer - I relish that idea.

[@jasontodd8071]

@@ellisclevenger2860 I need to Ketchup with these stories!

[@FCWW87]

Shooting a several hundred year old cactus? Yup, you asked for it.

[@treebeard7140]

Karma lol the cactus probably lived a long time after that too which is funny. Probably put little offsets to grow new plants.

[@zenfrodo]

I love Simon's narration. You've got a great voice, sir. And I KNEW that the stupid missionary would win a Darwin.

[@ThunderbolttheFox]

So glad that John Allen Chow was finally mentioned as a winner of the Darwin awards. What he did was incredibly stupid, and people shouldn't praise him for it like too many have.

[@rorykeegan1895]

It was more than stupid, it was really disrespectful of the tribe and he got his just deserts. How I wish more tribes would eat the missionaries sent to ruin their lives ...

[@andipandi5641]

@@rorykeegan1895 safer not to eat them.. just to kill them..

[@trishbirchard1270]

And , not to mention, how incredibly selfish, ruining his parent’s lives, as well.

[@ifIOnlyHadABrian]

@@trishbirchard1270 Well, his parents must be morons to raise their kid to turn out like he did...

[@bobbieleveline3207]

"It was a cold, dark night night in December, in Pennsylvania....." Hahahaha!!! OMG, Mr. Whistler, that delivery was absolute perfection!!! Those first few words, from the 3rd story I think, were enough hilarity, to get me through the day!!!😆 I HAVE watched this before, but had forgotten about your style with some of these "subject matters" and it is just SO DAMN FUNNY!!

[@glutenskababe]

Verizon: "Happy holidays!" Women: "OH SHI--" *explodes*

[@All2Meme]

This is why you shouldn't get terrorism ideas from Batman movies...

[@CliftonPhotographer]

Darn, just saw your comment was months before mine. (I liked my explosion emoji though) Lol

[@zaidshah4535]

@Edward HARRISON [13M3] lmao

[@benjamintaylor3934]

@@dittofoster73, my thoughts, precisely! Lol

[@MK-hh1vo]

Why in heck is the phone company calling to say happy new year??? Invasion of privacy much!

[@januszkarp1362]

I love the joy in Simon's voice when he says the words "tiger den".

[@leslieshafer6343]

It was a close thing as to which of these stories is more satisfying. I think I have to go with the New Years Eve story just because of the number of people the suicide bomber could have killed or injured if Fate hadn't so ironically intervened.

[@real_fjcalabrese]

I grew up in Tucson, AZ in seventies and eighties, and I live there now. I was thirteen when David Grundman got crushed, and he's still the butt of jokes. His legendary stupidity has inspired songs. He may not have passed on his genes, but his stupidity lives on as a part of our history.

[@pipermccool]

Fellow Old Pueblo-ite. 😉

[@lorriemcgee5562]

I never heard of him, what did he do.

[@real_fjcalabrese]

@@lorriemcgee5562 He died back in 1982. He was shooting catci with his shotgun when the limb of 27ft Saguaro fell on him. The Saguaro is a protected plant in Arizona.

[@lorriemcgee5562]

@@real_fjcalabrese lol, karma! 🤣

[@flagmichael]

@@real_fjcalabrese As a Phoenician I remember that. He was lucky it just killed him, but it would have been juicier if he fell back into a Cholla cactus before he died. For those not familiar with cholla (aka "jumping cactus") they look like they have sparse fur, but those are actually thousands of spines with hooks on the end.

[@leerubin1662]

You didn't tell the WHOLE story about #9. They beat him up the first time he landed. They broke his dingy the second time, and made him swim off the island, to the fishing boat. They finally killed the idiot the THIRD TIME he landed on the island. I think the dead missionary should be higher on this list :)

[@davidholman48]

Well, he wanted to go to Heaven, so I guess he did.

[@Andrea-nom]

Okay so they gave him a chance to leave with his life ?! AND he went back!?

[@leerubin1662]

Yep

[@diyeana]

"They didn't say no, so there's a chance!" "They don't speak English!"

[@leerubin1662]

I think idiot is a more appropriate term. A true zealot would put the effort into learning the language BEFORE going there (or after 2nd time), so he could convert them.

[@akeeperofoddknowledge4956]

One of my favorites was the one where a zookeeper stood on a stool to insert a suppository into the rectum of an elephant. The elephant immediately released over 200 lbs of excrement, knocking the man off the stool. Not sure which killed him, the fall or being engulfed in 200 lbs of elephant dung - either way...

[@martins_alternate_universe6783]

Hopefully, the elephant is okay now...

[@grahvis]

That reminds me of a story in the local newspaper years ago. A salesman who had travelled all over the world was telling his story and was asked if he had ever been in danger. He said how he was sleeping in the African bush and woke up with a huge pile of elephant dung right by his head.

[@moonpigdotcom5933]

#1 dying of measles in 2019.

[@wizardsuth]

Anti-vaxxers rarely contract contagious diseases themselves because their more sensisble parents got them vaccinated. The Darwin awards are not given for the stupidity of others.

[@johnp139]

Or dying from getting a vaccine.

[@moonpigdotcom5933]

@@wizardsuth you're reading too deep into a joke.

[@jacquesblaque7728]

Hearing some really Darwin-worthy bs from the anti-vaxxer crowd. Wanna inoculate any with poliomyelitis? Wankers.

[@lovinlife9648]

@@johnp139 From US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health: Modern vaccines are among the greatest public health achievements in history, preventing thousands of illnesses and deaths each year in the United States alone [1]. However, as illness, disability and death from vaccine-preventable diseases have decreased, concerns over vaccine safety have increased [2]. Despite the reality that a person is far more likely to be seriously or fatally injured by a disease prevented by vaccines than by a vaccine itself, there appears to be a trend towards increased refusal or delay of recommended vaccinations due to perceived safety concerns [3]. During the US multi-state measles outbreak of 2014-2015, most infected persons were not vaccinated against measles or had unknown vaccination status [4]. Early on, unsubstantiated claims of deaths caused by the measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine began circulating on the Internet [5-7]. The original claim was based on data from the US Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS). It is important to realize, however, that VAERS is a voluntary reporting system which accepts any submitted report of an adverse event without judging its clinical significance or whether it was caused by a vaccination [8]. VAERS is a signal detection and hypothesis generating passive surveillance system and therefore any broad claim of cause and effect with respect to deaths following vaccination based on VAERS reports should not be interpreted as proof of causality. We summarize historical information and published epidemiologic data on deaths following vaccination, including events where reasonable scientific evidence exists to conclude that vaccination caused or contributed to deaths. There are instances where medical errors or other human factors, not the vaccine as it was meant to be used, have caused deaths following vaccination [9,10]. However, our summary is restricted to deaths possibly related to the vaccine itself.

[@ReiverBlue1971]

Actually Jimi Heselden helped save the lives of thousands of British (and other nationalities) soldiers developing the HESCO bastions extensively used in Afghanistan and other base/defensive sites and did NOT profit from war and his death was a very unfortunate accident as he was being polite to another footpath user (he reversed his Segway and fell into the river). Love the list videos otherwise

[@sanfranciscoprofessor2577]

I took a Segway test drive tour nearly 20 years ago here in SF, as soon as they came out, and can guess why Mr. Heselden died. The Segway was supposed to respond intuitively to your body motions. That was only half true. In fact, you steered it by twisting the handles. The turn left was powered by twisting one of the handles forward, I forget which one. Anyone who had ridden a bike all his life by now reacts to danger by squeezing the brake levers next to your bike handles. That sent a different message to the Segway. When I had to make a sudden stop, I squeezed the Segway handles tightly, a motion which turns the handles slightly forward. One of the handles turned me sharply left, colliding with the door of a parked car. (No damage.) But if I had been riding on a river bank I would have turned left and gone in, no doubt gripping the handles in fear from long bike riding habit, causing the Segway to accelerate as well as turn. Whatever motion poor Heselden made sent a turn signal of some kind to his Segway.

[@ReiverBlue1971]

@@sanfranciscoprofessor2577 Well that certainly makes a lot of sense, thanks for that

[@zoyadulzura7490]

@@sanfranciscoprofessor2577It's stuff like this that adds to my guilt of watching a video like this. The concept of "Darwin awards" can be entertaining, and there is certainly purpose is finding the humor in grim stories, but at the same time, they're inherently depersonalizing and encourage people to just go, "Haha, stupid!" while ignoring the fact that a real, thinking, feeling person made an error and died/became maimed. In none of these stories do I feel that the person "deserved" death or harm, as tempting as it be in order to make the laugh easier, but there is still a dark humor to be found in the process of decision-making and sequence of events that occurred.

[@larrywest42]

Anyone interested in a more complete Heselden story should appreciate Tim Harford's podcast episode "Cautionary Tales - The Hero Who Rode His Segway Off A Cliff"

[@bobdeadbeef]

@@sanfranciscoprofessor2577The handle twist thing was true only of the first generation. The second generation and later have a very intuitive steering mechanism called lean-steer, which is just what it sounds like. You hold it in front of you, lean, and the amount you turn matches your lean perfectly. This had been in production for years when he died. My guess is that the ground gave way a bit underneath him; people fall from cliffs from this all the time, Segway or no.

[@tinlidtoo6615]

The millennial visiting the remote tribe was responsible for his own death

[@tncorgi92]

And well-deserved, I wish more evangelicals would take one-way trips to North Sentinel Island.

[@gludiousmaximus7918]

I think the missionary one is probably the biggest darwin award I ever saw or heard of in my life. "A martyr to idiocy"

[@yankees29]

My buddy from high school worked for the wolf of wall street after we graduated school. He used to tell me some wild stories about the people he worked with. I thought he was full of it but apparently he was telling the truth. Lol

[@Jade-be8lf]

Just subscribed! Love your channels contents & the fact you speak so eloquently & Animated, it draws one in xx

[@OliverOlinger]

When he first said, "Cactus plugging," my mind went to a very dark, and hypothetically painful and smelly place. I was actually thankful he was only talking about shooting at the cacti with guns and not about plugging... other stuff... with a cactus.

[@StudeSteve62]

Yeeeeikes...

[@StudeSteve62]

Actually there was a Darwin Award something like that. Involved a craze in Asia years ago for firing compressed air up one's rectum. One guy overdid it and blasted himself to bits. Apparently people close enough to hear but not really see the incident applauded, thinking it was the start of a fireworks display...

[@YsabetJustYsabet]

As Robert A. Heinlein put it, “Stupidity cannot be cured. Stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death. There is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.”

[@franktuckwell196]

In the 1980s two men were fare dodging and ran across about 14 railway tracks at London Bridge station and jumped over the wall. On trackside the wall was about six feet but on the other side was about a thirty foot drop. They were both arrested with broken ankles in Tooley street.

[@GamingTremor]

The tree of life is indeed "self-pruning"

[@thatguy22441]

My favorite Darwin Award was the idiot who tried to rob a gun store. He was shot dead by two employees and a cop who was having coffee before his shift started. As if not noticing that he was about to attempt to rob a gun store wasn't bad enough, he had to walk past A MARKED POLICE CAR to get into the store.

[@worldtraveler930]

Each and every one of these is well and truly earned and deserved.

[@Parents_of_Twins]

I don't know which one is better. The guys literally blowing himself away while trying to rob a hotdog stand or the bomber being killed by a text. All I can say is I really hope the text said Merry Christmas.

[@jimstein3083]

There once was a group of people so inept, they picked a man to represent them, who himself was also inept. More people ended up dying due to his ineptitude than any person could have imagined. And they wanted to have this fool still represent them.

[@hawkpaul8735]

Are we talking Donald Trump or Boris Johnson here?

[@brentdavila4383]

Jim Stein Funny that the folks who were virtue signaling about social distancing a month ago are in the streets by the thousands today. Those minority owned businesses aren't going to loot and burn themselves, eh? Homages to Nazis like Thomas Jefferson and Winston Churchill aren't going to fall down and crush protestors' skulls on their own either.

[@ronskancke1489]

oh, your describing Joe Biden perfectly.

[@DonnaAbrams-qh7zt]

@@ronskancke1489 Trump himself said he loved the uneducated so when jimstein references a group of people so inept they elected someone inept. The fact that you don’t realize he’s talking about Trump only emphasizes your “ineptness”.

[@alexiskiri9693]

I love it when you start with " it was a cold, dark, stormy night".

[@route66flyer29]

There were three cases of idiots of getting killed by Saguaro Cacti within three or so years in the late 80's. Besides the shooter there was another idiot that thought it was a great idea to run them down with his pickup, until one fell back on his truck crushing it and killing him and then there was the time a glider pilot ran off the side of the runway, hit a Saguaro which fell, and you guessed it, killed him. One thing I learned shortly after I moved to Arizona, don't mess with Saguaro Cacti.

[@YouTubeallowedmynametobestolen]

Cacti.

[@danielwarpaint1963]

You misspelled "Cactuses".

[@peterf.229]

Ive seen several plants damaged around where I live with multiple gunshots going through the body of the saguaro. one got the rot but it survived it and is currently still alive.

[@CliftonPhotographer]

@@danielwarpaint1963 You mean misspelled cacti. He correctly spelled a word that doesn't exist. Lol

[@thomasjsanford4369]

@@CliftonPhotographer 1= Cactus 2 or more = Cacti

[@jacksavage197]

Love the last one. In Chicago we have Jussie Smollett.😂😂😂😂

[@RyanPratten]

This just in: Russian service provider saves lives!

[@mechredd]

One of my favorites is from such a long time ago that I don't remember the specifics, but do remember the general story. A man was using a revolver in a robbery. He decided to shoot his victim but the cartridge was a dud. He then looked down the barrel and pulled the trigger again. The gun, being a revolver, rotated it's cylinder when the trigger was pulled, moving the dud cartridge away from the firing position and replacing it with a live one. Thus the man accidentally shot himself in the head.

[@mikemorgan5815]

mechredd I remember that. I think it was in the 1970’s somewhere in Los Angeles,ca. He had shoved an elderly man down and tried to shoot him. Swift justice!

i heard of one guy who stole an old pistol, and didn't realize it also had old ammunition...the result was a "hangfire", where the bullet goes off a few seconds after the trigger is pulled... yes, he foolishly looked into the barrel during those few seconds.

[@jsmariani4180]

That one should take first place.

[@johnstreet797]

My favorite robbery story was about the man who robbed a bank. He walked out the door with a sack of money. Someone ran past him and grabbed the sack. The man then called the police to report that he had been robbed. "I stole that money fair and square, and someone took it" The police were not sympathetic.

[@hobmoor2042]

Wrong about the Segwey guy. Jimi Heselden was not a warmonger - his company makes the Hesco Bastion containers used for blast protection and flood defences. He was a charity donor - including "Help For Heroes". His accident was caused because he reversed his Segwey to give way to a dog walker on a narrow footpath. He reversed too far and was killed when he fell into the River Wharfe. An act of politeness. Do your research Simon.

[@adamparry1686]

Agreed, it’s completely inappropriate that Jimi Heselden is in this list.

[@velkanzi]

@@adamparry1686 Yes, and no ... a timely warning for other Segway riders. So even in death he is saving lives.

[@lawrencemarocco8197]

As Ron White says, "You can't fix stupid." But, eventually, stupid fixes itself by eliminating its practitioners.

[@dokenboken5542]

New Darwin award suggestion. Attacking a guy with an AR-15 style rifle.

[@JoshSipes234]

Omg wtf lol

[@jimbo5635]

Win

[@JustASpaceEnthusiast]

**My Stupidity-o-meter is going crazy on these people.**

[@Tornado1994]

1000 Ways To Die.

[@HenrietteAndersen26]

The hotdog vendor pounced on Pouncy!! 😂😂

[@epiendless1128]

Wasn't the Segway accident not just 'into a river' but OFF A CLIFF into the river? Also, what's "the Leeds river"? It was the River Wharfe, which is about 20km from Leeds.

[@equitime77]

I wondered that. There is the river Aire which actually goes through Leeds or the Wharf which is in the next valley over. As far as I know, born in Leeds, there isn't really any proper cliffs on the Aire

[@theibecks]

equitime77 Glad I wasn’t the only one who raised an eyebrow at ‘the Leeds river’! It was on a footpath above the Wharfe near Boston Spa.

[@hebneh]

“The River Wharfe” sounds like a phrase that would be the start of a comedy routine: “The wharf? On what river?” “The River Wharfe.” “I know the wharf is on the river. But what’s the NAME of the river?” “I just TOLD you, the River Wharfe!” Etc.

[@babayagaslobbedaknobba]

The missionary guy being murdered by the tribe, always makes me laugh.

[@hurdygurdyman1905]

You make your mom proud.

[@babayagaslobbedaknobba]

@@hurdygurdyman1905 I make YOUR mom happy....much happier than your dad ever could...

[@bigsmiler5101]

Normally I speed up KZbin videos. Simon is the only person I slow it down for. But I LOVE that Simon knows our time is valuable, he sticks to the point, and has a well-edited presentation. -- but oh so many different channels. think how different the world would be if he switched to decaf. 😝

[@lightweight1974]

You should do a show on the runners up. I'm certain there'd be hundreds or thousands to pick from. An honorable mention for many. So to speak. LOL.

[@diedertspijkerboer]

To me, the missionary is the clear winner here. He knew that what he was doing was likely to kill him and did it anyway. But congrats for making it into the top ten anyway. 👍

[@krisaaron5771]

He was positive he had a ticket straight into Heaven because he "died for Christ!"

[@flagmichael]

Chapter 7: the Hot Dog debacle. Mr. Pouncy's contribution reminds me of an item on one of Jay Leno's monologues on The Tonight Show. He related a tale of a young thug who wanted to make himself look tough at a party by extracting a sawed-off shotgun from the front of his pants. You guessed it; when he got the barrel nearly extracted the gun went off. Amazingly the fool was not injured, leading Mr. Leno to wonder: "which is worse? Shooting a shotgun down the front of your pants or not hitting anything?"

[@juankruger2598]

The thief was not aiming to steal the tires, I assure you. They wanted the wheels.

[@ronskancke1489]

Trying to remove the wheels from under the vehicle seems less than intelligent.

[@juankruger2598]

@@ronskancke1489 Criminals are generally less than intelligent. That's what they do though. You'd come out of the house and find your car on bricks. Happens a lot; in South Africa