Total War by gheistling | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS1084

[@BrazenBard]

"The law of reparation demands a life for a life!" "Alright, we'll wipe your planets and boil a few anthills on Earth. Happy?"

[@Kingofdragons117]

Kinda ingenious idea honestly. Consider an Ant a worker class of sort then just use them for reparations.

[@TrueFork]

@@Kingofdragons117 a bit unfair to the ants... only fire ants and termites maybe

[@Kingofdragons117]

@@TrueFork Just make them wasps. Everyone will be happy then.

[@thereprehensible435]

*"If it was born on our world, it is terran. We have legally added every documented insect on our planet to the Terran Confederation. I you wanna screw with us and abuse the rules, fine, we'll do the same. Hell, we'll genetically engineer ants that breed even faster than your own race!"*

[@en4833]

@@Kingofdragons117 Use mosquitos. Wasps have a purpose. Mosquitos dont, not really.

[@talieclandestine9155]

"I respectfully submit they have not paid equitable reparations. They have killed, 9, 678, 452 fully independent Terrans. 5, 345,291 were Terran Females. All Terran Females are capable of breeding. Approximately, 2,000,000 of those were in the process of doing so when they were murdered in violation of Our Rules of Armed Conflict. Of those young not yet independent, 67% were female. They owe us 5,345,291 Queens, 2,000,000 of which need to be breed but not laying. And that 67% of larval Queens. Only then will Reparations be paid. Of course, that means their race would be extinct. " .... Silence. "Dear Council, silence is consent."

[@Darkinu2]

This put a smile on my face.

[@kevincaruthers5412]

I was thinking the same thing. A drone is not the equal of a queen. All human females can reproduce, thus they are ALL Queens.

[@redhausser7492]

This has the same energy as "I recognize that the council has made a decision, but given that is a stupid-ass decision, I have chosen to ignore it."

[@xanthos9641]

Exactly

[@bishalnath24]

Furry

[@derrickmiller9776]

If humanity is considered space orcs, there is only one response that comes to mind. "Start the war machine boys, this is a WAAAGH!"

[@widdershins5383]

That was a call to waaaaaagh if I’ve ever heard one lol

[@xavierzaxavier5873]

So its Cowabunga right.....To the war Brother/Sister!!!! For The Emperor!!

[@ravenouself4181]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

[@glowstickterra94]

1; Terrans are territorial, do not encroach upon our claims. Failing to heed this warning will lead to death, possibly war 2; Terrans are a pack bonding herd race, do not take the life of a Terran unless you are willing to pay with no less than ten of your own. Failing to recognize this will lead to total war 3; Terrans do not yeild, if you are at war with Terrans: you will cease to be, or the Terrans will. Either way the systems where war is raged will be forever scarred 4; Terrans, are experienced in reviving dead and war scarred worlds, and will sacrifice one of their worlds if it means destroying ten of yours.

[@reggiehigh22]

I think the show M*A*S*H said it best. "War isn't hell. War is war and hell is hell. Between the two war is a lot worse." Look up that clip if you get a chance.

[@kalskirata42]

5. Should a race warring against the Terrans agree to terms of surrender (if permitted the opportunity), they will gladly lay down arms and render aid to your injured and dying, help rebuild your infrastructure, and even pack bond with some of your populace for mutual integration. However, despite this sudden switch to docile behavior, this doesn't mean that Terrans suddenly become weak, so when they help rebuild what you've lost, you accepted your fate of having your entire race being held at gunpoint should your government (or equivalent) violate future peace treaties. In short: do NOT betray the trust of Terrans, for it's one of the highest honors they, as a species, can bestow upon anyone, and is most sacred to their countless subcultures.

[@thereprehensible435]

I'd raise the count per terran life in reparations according to the race and their average successful birth counts/rates. Humans rarely birth more than one child pe, with a massive amount of time and resources spent... Not to mention raising the child. Insects like these? They birth thousands, hundreds of thousands, daily. A human life is worth, *at least* a million bugs' lives... If not several million. Alternatively, one human per queen.

[@soffren]

@@thereprehensible435 I mean, if you gotta be a nerd about it. It's mostly supposed to be a spiritual statement.

[@erushi5503]

@@thereprehensible435 make that 100 queens per human life 1000 if its a child

[@whatsagoodusername823]

"The Terran Federation acknowledges that the Zeldarrins have paid what the Council considers to be 'fair reparations'. However, the Terran Federation has also determined that the Council's 'Law of Reparations' is laughably insufficient. It utterly fails to act as any form of deterrence from conflict, with hive species like the Zeldarrins being allowed to wipe out any number of our people and paying us back with a number of their own lives that they value less than dirt. Such hive species could simply wage all-out war on us until we went extinct, and pay what to them is practically nothing, but if we were to fight back and wipe out even a fraction of their population, reparations would drive us to extinction anyways. This also renders any treaties with our fellow members of the Council utterly meaningless, as such treaties can be broken by these hive species at any time at practically no penalty to them. Whoever came up with this ridiculous 'Law of Reparations' was either a moron who did not take into account hive species like the Zeldarrins that do not value their own lives, an equally stupid person who does not understand the concept of punishments being meant to _discourage_ lawless behavior, or was themselves a member of a hive species that wanted to wage war with impunity while pretending to be civilized by paying what, again, to them is nothing. "As such, the Terran Federation has decided that the Council has failed to make any effort to protect us from its own members, and thus has nothing to offer us, as anything it might offer is overshadowed by the simple fact that continuing to abide by this ridiculous Law would drive us to extinction in just a few generations. We will continue to wage war on the Zeldarrins, taking planets for every one of our outposts that they destroy, until they decide to stop, and we will not pay reparations. If the Council does not appreciate this decision, consider this our official resignation, and our declaration of war on any members of the Council that dares try and stop us."

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Looks solid, send it, and an hour later the first warheads

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

I agree with the terran arbiter and think all of the hives should become batterys.

[@julonkrutor4649]

@@wolfoffenris9951 why wait one h? Just kill every last insect ASAP.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

@@julonkrutor4649 give em time to read it, at least someone has to be "civil"

[@lazartestigus2414]

Salt the land. Burn their planets. Ruin their population. Human war with no limits is a monster noone will be ready to fight, as it will end in the ruination of any species who tries. Let it be known we have rules of engagement so that we dont go to far. If you give us a reason to ignore them, you will all burn. There is an old saying,from popular media "Suffer not the xenos" and we tried to let that be a falsehood, but should it turn out to be necessary, we shall not suffer your presence

[@lloydkeith3061]

I'd say the humans response so far has been quite reserved. That it has only just recently escalated, and very measured, reservedly so. That being said,... the old saying of "f-around and find out" is beginning to play out. Some poor xeno is about to, and poorly thought out I may add, "see what we'll see".

[@dantreadwell7421]

Ya know, this is a reason why, BEFORE any major negotiations, you NEED to know, and understand, the history of the people you are negotiating with. A basic understanding of Terran military history and our rules of war, and how we respond when they are broken (in theory, at any rate) will give you a very good idea of how we would respond to that kind of situation. Doesn't really matter how far back the major wars may be, there is no way that there will not be little brushfire skirmishes or conflicts that we will be involved with, we, as a species, will never lose the ability and skill to make damned sure whoever fucks around WILL find out.

[@HoNkYforLiFe1]

Unrealistic

[@erushi5503]

Insect: we kill your people and we kill some of ours, this is the law of reparations, this is the way Elder: his correct this is the way Humans: RIP and TEAR it is then

[@platinumchromee3191]

Humans: well then fuck your laws we are about to get the bug spray

[@dariustiapula]

For when simply attacking someone isn't enough. So you harness the sheer hatred of your nation to make them pay.

[@nonoo694]

Based

[@widdershins5383]

Sheer hatred of your planet* you are talking about an interstellar conflict, we’re mobilizing planets at this point, not merely nations. Think bigger.

[@kurtismiller9544]

We don't treat our people like object, things to be used as counters or chits in a game. And... War is actual WAR

[@henrypaleveda7760]

war is costly, war is grisly, war is death, pain, gore. War is humanities' home

[@MalefAzelb]

"We got so good at war that we stopped from fear of MAD. Mutually assured destruction"

[@thomasvogel1696]

We most certainly do if the world wars and more have proven anything

[@jakobblaine1505]

Makes me happy knowing his shout out list is getting longer because people with money are able to support such a great content creator.

[@MrKaiyooo]

Since humans killed are capable of breeding. Demand reparations in hive princes and princesses.

[@k0rf3on6]

cease your xenophilia

[@cassiswyrm8121]

@@k0rf3on6 Somehow I doubt that's how that was meant....

[@aaronwishard7093]

@@k0rf3on6 How is it xenophilic in any regard to demand that the portion of the population that is actually breeding is the one who gets the sword of Damocles? Humans all contribute to how many we have in the population. In an ant colony, or really most hive mentalities, you have a queen who just lays a ton of eggs. So demanding a queen who hasn't started reproducing be the one to die isn't a bad way to go about actually holding a species accountable. Otherwise what happened in this story happens. "Oh we killed 10k of your people. We'll kill 10k of our people. They'll be replaced by tomorrow."

[@Egilhelmson]

@@aaronwishard7093 The Sword of Damocles is just a threat; killing princesses is a bit more than a threat, it is an actual harvesting. Princes probably matter little more than the workers.

[@aaronwishard7093]

@@Egilhelmson Just like human lives are worth much more than standard worker lives. And the threat is that "you do this again and that's the level of repercussions we're asking for". Granted if you cannot follow through with a demand like that then everyone then sees you as a paper tiger

[@katyushamarikov8819]

This reminds me of the "Red Blood" story. A galactic federation is about to fuck around and find out.

[@dantreadwell7421]

Know where one may be able to find that? Sounds interesting.

[@AgroSquerril]

brown pants time

[@aman7196]

@@dantreadwell7421 Argro Squerril did a reading of it.

[@dantreadwell7421]

@@aman7196 cool, will look for it there, then. Thanks.

[@dantreadwell7421]

I see what you mean, Damm.

[@amorphoussolid8512]

We do not have peace summits and diplomatic corps because we are a peaceful species. An individual who is wrongly killed can be valued by their people to be worth up to and including the entire population of the offender.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Oh, no, we are peaceful, these spacebugs just got the difference between peacefull and harmless wrong,... well they gonna learn it the hard way, nuke em

[@amorphoussolid8512]

@@wolfoffenris9951 either way, time to go PURGING WITH MY KIN!

[@drewahrens3141]

"It is always the bugs who think they can push us around and get away with it. No more. I, Lycos Silverblood, Alpha of the Silverblood clan of Earth, declare that if any bug is found in our territory, we will tear them apart!" Growled Lycos, eyes flashing silver with fangs bared at the Zeldarrin Arbiter. Seriously, it's always the bugs.

[@AgroSquerril]

would you like to know more?

[@gmailquinn]

Yes plz

[@IRMentat]

Strange to have a 1:1 reparations system when each species may have vastly different numbers. 100,000 may mean nothing to a hive-swarm while it could wipe out a nomad species. And that’s assuming that the reparations are not made of the weak-of-the-litter who would likely have not survived in the first place. Matters of territory and resources even moreso. If it costs 1000 lives to secure a resource that could support millions then mere 1000 in reparations could see a species overwhelm the surrounding space at virtually no cost.

[@CadetSammons]

The speedrun intro always gets a laugh from me at the echo part

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@CadetSammons]

@@AgroSquerril

[@henrypaleveda7760]

it seems like the Terran arbiter would have been more successful if she led with each human life is equally valued and then explained how civilians shouldn't be the ones to die in the wars, or at least about humanities conflicts with it self through history. What she said was a threat and meant to be one, but wouldn't explaining a discrepancy be better than threatening the galaxy?

[@whatsagoodusername823]

Their “That’s the way it is” response to her complaints made it pretty clear that they don’t care about stuff like that. And in the first place, the real problem isn’t that humans value every life; that’s the point of the Law, to discourage fighting by forcing the aggressor to pay with the lives of their civilians. The problem is that the Zeldarrins DON’T care about their civilians’ lives, and have plenty civilians to spare, so that price that’s supposed to scare them out of attacking their fellow Council members means nothing to them. Unfortunately, threatening all of them is the only way they’ll get the Zeldarrins to stop and the Council to change that stupid law.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

@@whatsagoodusername823 thanks for the counterpoints; I like learning to be better

[@eleethtahgra7182]

I suppose such law favor the sapient species with drone/slave population...like insect hive. It would be unfavorable for any startrek-style species, including humans. Based on history and stories, given the right condition, many of us would go for forlorn hope, but few of us would want to be the sacrificial lamb. Besides, based on the story, either the terran accept the law n suffer casualties or go for total war n suffer casualties. The former is in the form of sacrificial lamb, the later in the form of forlorn hope. Its quite obvious what most terran would choose. If u gonna die, lets kill as many as u can before u die.

[@noppornwongrassamee8941]

The law favors any fast reproducer that doesn't value individual lives, not just hive species. A despotic human government with just a population numbers advantage over their enemies would also benefit from this law.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

@@noppornwongrassamee8941 dude, humans take 18 years to be fully mature. 20+ years for the brain to be fully developed. 9 month of pregnancy with only one child (on average). Even with the most vile leaders of earth history who view their population as just numbers, theyd lose in this law of reparation simply cos we could replace our number fast enough. And I said startrek, not the human federation only. Meaning, even the romulan would balk at such unfair exchange rate of life.

[@merlinathrawes746]

This may be how YOU fight wars. You DO NOT want to be introduced to how we fight wars.

[@ravenouself4181]

Meanwhile, the Terran engineers: Finally, a chance to put some of these theoretical weapons into production! *Enter the StarBuster9000*

[@janthion3590]

Savage or not, we stand and you fell. Think on that Xenos

[@chaosbringer5248]

It needs a continuation!

[@medicentio]

Xenos: We demand reparations for your actions! Sacrifice your kind! Humans: 𝔾𝔼ℕ𝕆ℂ𝕀𝔻𝔼 𝕀𝕋 𝕀𝕊 𝕋ℍ𝔼ℕ. 𝕐𝕆𝕌 ℂ𝔸𝕃𝕃𝔼𝔻 𝔽𝕆ℝ 𝕀𝕋. *Doom music intensifies*

[@darthvex1971]

Believe it or not, were I not unemployed, I'd donate....I love his renditions.. when my book goes mainstream, I'm seriously going to ask him to be my voice

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@LordMekenshi]

"We humans treat our members as equally valuable. Killing one of our miners is as bad as killing our president. As such, the reparations offered of drone workers aren't enough. For reparations to be equal, the ruling class must be offered as sacrifice. I am happy to begin with by strangling the opposing ambassador with my bare hands. That will make us even for one."

[@paulhuston9991]

If everyone who can make a complaint is dead there is no complaint and thus no reparations. So how bad do you want to play with humans again???

[@alfredsutton7233]

The politics of war is a funny business. A willingness to fight a war may postpone or prevent war. Playing nice will only encourage the bully, and war will be upon us. Hmm ... a message with relevance to our near future?

[@farrglehorn8216]

Until the bully turns out to be your country all along...

[@el3g3le]

For only half a year ago, this aged well.

[@MestreDentistaGUC]

Well that story needs a sequel. 😁

[@cnlbenmc]

War, war never changes!

[@zyanidwarfare5634]

Dang I didn’t even realize I just barely missed a reading until I started reading comments and realized how long ago this premiered

[@AgroSquerril]

Better late than never

[@adphoenix600]

Man this is the best story ever this has some fire and it was very encouraging so much engagement so much pride that we fight back and help some civilization that need help

[@yomogami4561]

very similiar to star trek: tos' episode a taste of armageddon in that they have found a way to make war 'clean' and 'safe' but in this version it's not balanced as hive species have a significant advantage. i'd love a sequel to this story

[@cpt.honklerof3rdkekistania400]

Humans: WOLLT IHR TOTALEN KRIEG aliens: *chuckles* im in danger

[@davidreedy7597]

Fantastic narration! As usual. Thank you.

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure , glad you enjoyed

[@brianlips8346]

Thanks for the story 🙂☺️

[@allanfitz3535]

Hopefully this is a series

[@AgroSquerril]

not as far as i know

[@WallNutBreaker524]

Humans have a history of getting annoyed by those who cross their borders and take their territory, don't fuck with human borders. we are very territorial. 7:48 now that I think about it, this sounds like China's Grayzone warfare, though at least the zeldarin pay reparations. This is damn good....just like the other one called "why humans avoid war", the only thing is, it's too short, I like how humanity flexes it's muscles, and the galaxy gossips endlessly about it.

[@vinnyganzano1930]

Humanity only knows one way to fight.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel.

[@paulsim7589]

Always sad when they feel like they should go on for several more chapters :p

[@royalroses123]

WARKANDA FOREVER

[@crsed]

Hold up, is there more to this? This sounds like it'd be a great series.

[@sinaves]

well the galaxy at large will find out why we call this... The Chicago Way.

[@ecarots9469]

Reminds me of star trk tos " a tadte of Armageddon" episode.

[@elfeater1760]

Lac pro Lac Deus!....lol

[@Wastelandman7000]

Did you just go Total War? Never go Total War!

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@freedomfighter2054]

Hey nice peace ya got there, would be a shame if someone were to burn it.

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@gcramer30]

Dudes. Like the damn videos. Seriously. All two thousand non liking viewers. Its not difficult.

[@derGhebbet]

*LET THE GALAXY BURN!*

[@fuge74]

legal thing, reparations are for accidents, retribution is for aggression.

[@AgroSquerril]

war , war never changes

[@gobrinsan7173]

Please tell me there is a prt2?

[@demonelf2094]

For my collection.

[@macpurdy]

For the algorithm and the narrator.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

So it was decided to deathstar all of terran space.

[@gamegirl8722]

For the algorithm!!

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@AgroSquerril]

kept going

[@IronWarrior_69]

What will we do with a drunken sailor? What will we do with a drunken sailor? What will we do with a drunken sailor? Early in the morning! Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Early in the morning! Shave his belly with a rusty razor Shave his belly with a rusty razor Shave his belly with a rusty razor Early in the morning! Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Early in the morning! Put him in a long boat till his sober Put him in a long boat till his sober Put him in a long boat till his sober Early in the morning! Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Early in the morning! Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom Early in the morning! Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Early in the morning! Put him in the bed with the captains daughter Put him in the bed with the captains daughter Put him in the bed with the captains daughter Early in the morning! Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Early in the morning! That's what we do with a drunken sailor That's what we do with a drunken sailor That's what we do with a drunken sailor Early in the morning! Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Early in the morning! Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Way hay and up she rises Early in the morning! I got the irish rovers version mostly but a few from different songs.(for a person in live chat.)

[@ornu01]

Stop huffing trench fumes and get your rebreather back on, guardsman.

[@Battleguild]

I prefer the Drunken Whaler variant. The one that was featured in the Dishonored game.

[@IronWarrior_69]

@@Battleguild ive never heard it.

[@Battleguild]

@@IronWarrior_69 What will we do with a Drunken Whaler (x3) Early in the morning? Weigh, Hey, and Up she rises (x3) Early in the morning Stuff him in a sack and throw him over (x3) Early in the Morning Feed him to the hungry rats for dinner (x3) Early in the morning Weigh, Hey, and Up she rises (x3) Early in the Morning Shoot him through the heart with a loaded pistol (x3) Early in the Morning Slice his throat with a rusty cleaver (x3) Early in the Morning Weigh, Hey, and Up she rises (x3) Early in the Morning

[@ChronaDecrox]

I want to know what happens after that

[@ianhogben3472]

war crimes

[@gordonhardwick9552]

Good night

[@AgroSquerril]

night

[@garysprandel1817]

Don't challenge the murder monkeys to war. We're exceedingly good at it and should you decide to do so anyway don't make us show you why we have so many rules about war.

[@CorwinTheOneAndOnly]

This is what people raving about "proportional response to crime" need to learn. All it does is incentivize people to pay for something AFTER they steal it and get caught.

[@strangelizard439]

Not really... Normally when people are talking about that they mean crimes such as non violent dog offenses. Think about it, there are people serving sentences of 20 years + (Imagine a 40 year old gets thrown in jail for that. They'll come out with 60 and have 20 years of declining health and terrible finances to deal with) for selling a drug that is now completely legal in states like Colorado. 1/3 of your adult life (and condemning you to a life of poor quality jobs) is simply not at all proportional. Further, the whole "tough on crime" hogwash obviously isn't working.if it would be, why does the USA have a much higher incarceration rate than countries which have lower sentences and focus more on reforming criminals to make them into productive, safe citizens?

[@10Tabris01]

I wager a guess that the response is actually not proportional in quality but quantity in the story which would be exceedingly harsh on a k strategist like ourselves and meaningless for an r strategist. That of course means that in truth there is no proportionality in the punishment applied here

[@mage3690]

You demand reparations, a life for a life? That is completely unacceptable. Come take them, if you can.

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@nelswolf]

I say Terrans are in the wrong here

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@gordonhardwick9552]

Hello again

[@AgroSquerril]

hey there

[@GenStallion]

Suffer not the xenos

[@plinko-moss]

Fuck around, find out.

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@arakheno4051]

F.A.S.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@merlinwizard1000]

192nd, 16 January 2024

[@VadulTharys]

F T A

[@Tmonger127]

A comment for the Algorithm.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm