Humans are Scary the First Terran System's War by AceSorou | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS985

Original Story :
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Greetings Ladies and Mentlegents and welcome to my channel where I like to make LEGAL Audiobooks of various types from web novels and short stories. If you are new to the channel then click on the information icon for the entire playlist to help get you up to current faster.
This Oneshot was Taken from the HFY subreddit which hosts mostly Sci-Fi based short stories called oneshots and series. It is done with the Authors Permission.
As Always i hope you enjoy and can find some content on my channel you like. Feel free to recommend a series or a story and i will have a look into it.
{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:36 Humans are Scary the First Terran System's War
#Hfy #Reddit #HumansAreSpaceOrcs
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This Story is Classified as HFY , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
This is also a Science Fiction story ,What is Science Fiction?
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Science fiction (sometimes shortened o sci-fi or SF) is a genre of speculative fiction that typically deals with imaginative and futuristic concepts such as advanced science and technology, space exploration, time travel, parallel universes, and extraterrestrial life. It has been called the "literature of ideas", and often explores the potential consequences of scientific, social, and technological innovations.
Science fiction, whose roots go back to ancient times, is related to fantasy, horror, and superhero fiction, and contains many subgenres. However its exact definition has long been disputed among authors, critics, and scholars.
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Taken from Wikipedia
What is Humans are space orcs?
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"Humans are space orcs" is a sci-fi based sub genre where in the galaxy as a whole humans are treated like and or behave such as orcs in our fantasy setting. These traits can be strength regeneration hardiness as well as many others. This sub Genre is closely linked with HFY and Earth is Space Australia. "Humans are space orcs" was made popular by tumblr and has spread to reddit with the aptly names r/Humansarespaceorcs. Humans Are Space Orcs was porpoised by youtuber P.M Seymour bringing it to a new audience.
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[@AgroSquerril]

Dont forget to check out this weeks writing event , kzbin.info/www/bejne/nqrJhKGsj6-lhtU

[@j-core2895]

remember me

[@henrypaleveda7760]

I know that any "part two" is on the hands of the author, but could you keep a lookout for "the second Terran system war" if that isn't a burden?

[@AgroSquerril]

@@henrypaleveda7760 will do

[@pingomez647]

@j-core yes yes

[@Fr3AkFr3Ak]

*A bipedal feline race start invading earth and slaving humans* Furries: That is our time to shine

[@mr.e6289]

the other reason humaity didn't ask for more was simply becouse "well they're cats... it's what they do" but thought that might be abit spiciest to say outloud

[@AgroSquerril]

they kept knocking the satellites out of orbit?

[@bo9591]

@@AgroSquerril it was too cute to stay mad for long

[@KertaDrake]

@@AgroSquerril And it was really hilarious to see camera footage of their finest warriors chasing laser sights.

[@gmailquinn]

Uhm racist?

[@pabloandresdiazabarza3300]

@@gmailquinn spiciest

[@JoeSmithpwns]

In truth, we exposed a target of opportunity. Then we systematically salvaged every piece of military hardware and tech. Now we use politicians to appear benevolent.

[@cheeseninja1115]

its the best we can do to thank them for their military intelligence sharing ;)

[@mstrfool]

Score!

[@Hektols]

Just wait until the cat people read the small letter in the forced trade agreements, let them feel the terror of the human lawyers.

[@cudafrost2129]

oh god, not the LAYERS!!!! *dramatic music*

[@bubbaturps394]

The most powerful of all human factions

[@iglidor]

There were strings attached to that agreement. Those cat people simply could not resist them

[@Debilitator47]

@@iglidor Catnip coated strings. They'll be ours in no time. To paraphrase a german warrior/philosopher, 'Bellyrubs are simply warfare conducted by other means'.

[@davidcannon3515]

@@Debilitator47 it's a feline-like race. Cats attack belly rubbing hands

[@taitano12]

When you hit the new guy so hard it hurts your hand, but all he does is look at you, pop an eyebrow, smile, and goes back to what he was doing.

[@yimingwang8037]

bruhhhhhhhh

[@jacobfoss7783]

You mean "breaks your hand."

[@mstrfool]

Wait... You mean that's not normal?

[@ravenouself4181]

Every Shonen Anime's first villain in the new Arc

[@CidGaius]

Humans: Meh, we’ve had worse. Xenos: you were occupied and enslaved… Humans: yeah, but it wasn’t that bad, you should have seen **describes any point of human history** Xeno: I see…excuse me a moment….**runs away screaming** Humans: Huh, Xeno’s are so strange. I do hope they come by again, they’re cute.

[@nocontext9635]

i wouldnt have been suprised if humans have advanced genetic engineering making xeno fuckable

[@chongwillson972]

@@nocontext9635 1.what xeno would allow them to be altered by humans? 2.what are the ethic's of that would be?

[@nocontext9635]

@@chongwillson972 A xeno that was made to be horni

[@nocontext9635]

@@chongwillson972 human with xenophilia would do that

[@nocontext9635]

@@chongwillson972 well the ethics would be bad or kind of illegal

[@haleffect9011]

Let's see, Keth come in Get rid of all the politicians, give us technology give us jobs leave not too bad all things considered

[@yimingwang8037]

lol

[@cripto130]

could really use that right about now, a good reset would fix alot of problems

[@muridtahmatgnas2184]

Please visit again

[@carlosdgutierrez6570]

Left brand new technologically advanced Infraestructure for us to use without charging a dime. It is a bargain trade tbh.

[@DonPatrono]

"Enslavement? we got three warm meat-based meals a day, a stable job with reasonable shifts, decent housing, they even let the neighbor's kids play baseball on weekends, no taxes, no politicians, and when they were routed they left us the factory plant without even destroying it....basically it was a holiday man" "...sooo what should we ask for reparations?" "Iunno man, just ask for a couple space catgirl maid cafes and we could call it even"

[@Troleandocreyentes]

Xeno: we enslave your people. Human: the detention camps? Xeno: that was bad. Human: barely. Xeno: what would humans will consider bad? Human: let me introduce you to some fellow man called Leopod II. Xeno: puking in the ground.

[@johntaco861]

Humans: “this ain’t that bad all things considered.” Aliens: “we literally enslaved your entire population and forced them to make us weapons.” Humans: “Enslave? That was more like...Force basically everyone to have a job. If you consider that slavery....I don’t think you should see the American civil war and why it happened.”

[@charchadonto]

@@johntaco861 "Also we tried the heavy sanctions things once, and it led to ANOTHER World war. We have learned..."

[@MalefAzelb]

And also our 2 world wars. Don't forget about those. OH and also Veitnam. Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Vlad the impaler. Mongol conquest. Ahhhhhh, good times

[@jrm48220]

Also, don't forget that we literally have a torture museum and several holocaust memorial museums where we can show you in grainy 35 mm film the horrors we inflicted on each other.

[@jrm48220]

@@johntaco861 Three hots and a cot AND we get to go hunt aliens at night. Some people would call that a good deal.

[@vazk-thret]

humanity the galaxies physical equivalent of "eh ive done worse to my self"

[@iamgroobs9377]

At this point we're just steve O', we've done so much worse on ourselves for shits and giggles.

[@alexs5814]

Days before the Tribunal. The final assembly of all Important people in the Earthling alliance: some are calling for heavy sanctions. Some are calling for outright reversal of their roles: making the Keth slaves to humanity. Then a researcher of some renown enters the podium: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Scolars, Members of the house of Representatives of the collective nations of Earth. I have only one argument to present to this illustrious house: "Space Catgirls!" Thank you for this opportunity to make myself heard."

[@Franktanker0]

And just like that, the people of earth collectively thought "oh shit, he's right" and changed stances

[@mrmaxwell346]

Somewhere in the galaxy a poor threk woke from a horrible nightmare of the dreaded monster of f'rry.

[@ratzelbarreto2070]

Me, remembering that space cat girl anime with lots of H in it..I would vote for this.

[@DarkKnightofIT]

@@ratzelbarreto2070 sauce so I can wa-err... _avoid_ it?

[@ratzelbarreto2070]

@@DarkKnightofIT think it was just called space cat girl, but you need to look for the uncensored version.. it was that spicy.

[@corinthiansdaniels3728]

Every cat owner: "Oh no I'm being enslaved by cats.... Wait what? Why hasn't anything about my life change?

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@nicholashernandez4611]

As a cat slave, I feel both insulted and represented perfectly. This is more understanding than I’ve ever gained from my current feline overlord. Excuse me, I must refill her water bowl and keep scritching behind her ears while typing this. I would ask for help, but I am finally of use. I graciously accept our new space cat overlords. May their purrs drown out our pains.

[@Sorain1]

To be fair, these cats can directly communicate... so it's kind of an improvement?

[@phoboskittym8500]

If it was a spider race, the humans would have voted for genocide

[@ravenouself4181]

@@Sorain1 Now that You mention it. Hmm... maybe the thing on the table will survive? Maybe.

[@levantdiggerus3473]

Keth: "You... you aren't mad?" H: "Eh. Could been worse." K: "WORSE? WE ENSLAVED YOUR PEOP-" H: "Oi. If you want us to be mad, that's an option to, but we are some SPITEFUL fuckers, and if we go to blows, one of us is gonna have some history to write."

[@britishneko3906]

humans: **proceeds to make MACs(the stronk af one and the BRRT one) and the unholy abominations of MAC-CIWS**

[@eliaswagner]

​@@britishneko3906 now, please elaborate what those things mean

[@britishneko3906]

@eliaswagner MAC = Magnetically Assisted Cannon stronk af one = big caliber BRRRT one = fast firing low caliber MAC-IWS: MAC but CIWS

[@eliaswagner]

@@britishneko3906 huh, I understood maybe half of that 😅 but thanks!

[@brianmeadows1137]

It's a reference to the fact that the winners write thr history books, implying only one side is still going to be around.@@eliaswagner

[@chestonunnewehr6954]

Can we all just take a moment and recognize the legend that is Datamagnet, who appears to be a sponsor of every single video.

[@kyrillvankessel745]

Praise to Datamagnet

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

Bob The Dragon

[@Drago_Whooves]

@@veryangryduckpl2122 well yer but bob has his gold hoard and sells alot of used armour and weapons

[@cheeseninja1115]

@@Drago_Whooves when you are a dragon with that much gold you gotta do SOMETHING with it, and whats more valuable than money? entertainment!

[@Southern_Crusader]

Shhhhh…

[@chrishamilton7516]

“You see we hate each other FAR more than we could ever hate you.”

[@antonscott1585]

"Nanites will steal the other sock" I have never felt so threatened before in my life.

[@kennethhummel4409]

The concord is thankful that humanity didn’t get truly angry... they might not have all survived!

[@inquisitorthornside3p494]

PURGE ALL FILTHY XENOS!!!

[@jaytonobrien6325]

@@inquisitorthornside3p494 yeah well we would rather strap a bomb on ourselves and cling onto the enemy... (because if i've learned anything from hfy humans it is) that we win no matter what, so long as they lose

[@badbloodkiller3471]

Yeah, the Keth were smart enough not to kill unarmed civilians. That would more like another story were a xeno had a child in their mother's arms just because it cried to loudly!

[@tylorbronson5349]

@@badbloodkiller3471 I remember that story... my blood was (figuratively) boiling over the fictional story.

[@CEBph5997]

They should really read us Human's History. We're fucking brutal but kind as well.

[@StarSong936]

A story I just saw today "Stop giving us Garden Worlds" implied that in order for humans to be healthy we needed death worlds and exploring the unknown. Therefore, the human diplomate asked for the galactic council to send us to unexplored space, and we could take our pick of any worlds we found there. The implication was, garden worlds would go to the council, and humans would get the death worlds.

[@mstrfool]

Well... They are more fun.

[@StarSong936]

@@mstrfool True that. Quite a few of these stories I would like to see more fully developed, like more backstory and political alliances before the time of the story, and perhaps after as well. Given the time constraints though, I can't really blame them. Edit: In the days of the civil war, my family ran a safe house running escaped slaves in to Canada. Also, see other comments here. Aliens don't have anything on us.

[@SH-qs7ee]

Humanity needs conflict, it is the driving force behind our evolution. Even today, in our relatively benign, relaxed society, we feed our need for conflict with everything from sports to video games.

[@taitano12]

When God made us, he made us in a garden and told us to "fill the Earth and subdue it." We are specifically designed to turn untamed planets (death worlds or not) into garden worlds. Xenos giving us a bunch of garden worlds would be a MASSIVE disservice, violating the whole point of our existence. "Give us your hostiles and death worlds; the uninhabitable longing to hold life, the retched refuse both within and without the hallowed borders of your empire. Give these, the uninhabited and radiation scorched, to us. We lift our lamps to light life's eternal fire." - Me. Just now.😊

[@dariustiapula]

At least we didn't leave any unexploded ordinance or unmanned drones around, hopefully.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Nahh a little occupation isn't that bad I mean they were decent and it was realy bad timing on our end I mean they didn't even try to genocide us,... Like some of our leaders

[@SuperGamefreak18]

Probably a good idea to hide our history...the worse parts until AFTER they gotten used to us

[@CEBph5997]

Ugh don't remind me.

[@ChemySh]

I'm also willing to bet 10 dollars that the Keth invasion actually interrupted an actual genocide in progress somewhere on Earth

[@sakib6258]

Human civvies before Keth enslavement: Nooo! Don't take us! Humans civvies after: well... this ain't so bad after all. also another one Keth when the ship starts speaking human: *heavy panic*

[@crayonchomper1180]

Humanity had mercy on the Keth because we think kitties are cute

[@mstrfool]

Not like it was the first time cats subjugated the Earth and ruled as gods. It's just a cat thing, kinda cute. Nothing to get upset about.

[@leahpawlowski3352]

True

[@freakyskull516]

"forced to sign a trade agreement with every human faction ... they are never going to financially recover from this are they?...

[@AgroSquerril]

probably not

[@pirataalienigena6235]

Oh boy, they don't even know the tip of humanity's horros

[@tanknerd7193]

**Coughs in WW2 Japanese**

[@Troleandocreyentes]

*Coughs in Pol Pot*

[@secretobvious6033]

@@tanknerd7193 coughs in bataan death march

[@vanta_8lack591]

Coughs in off brand anime

[@platinumchromee3191]

Coughs in shooting a hole into surface of Mars for shit and giggles

[@shinraset]

I am actually very surprised at the measured response out of humanity. After all I know us humans to be a reactionary species and a lot of us follow the old adage "eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" The occupation must not have been as bad as I was imagining given how I figured that it would have been more similar to Nazi death work camps. I also suppose that humanity was clued in on the other Delta death world race that had spooked the universe so that probably helped to moderate our reaction.

[@IRMentat]

"forced labour" (likely with terms less strict than their existing vocations), enough salvaged tech to leap forward several generations via reverse-engineering (not to mention any captured technical manuals/documents and tech previously not considered due to it's pre-requisites never being discovered), oppressed by cat-people (par for the course for humanity) and a withdrawal and return of territory just outside of a year with if not an apology then a larger entity offering direct political control over the responses. Sure the loss of combat troops would sting but rebuilding would be easier than previous, you just netted an insane amount of technological and political capital and you can now go about making yourself a much upgraded defensive fleet while being far better known on a galactic scale as being the unfortunate (yet seemingly peaceful and benevolent) victim of an unwarranted crime. sounds like a pretty good deal to me overall and if that's the worst to come after you the "next time" someone tries something funny there will be many a surprise in store for them.

[@noanswer1864]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we would have turned their cradle world into a dusty grey monument to all their sins.

[@slowfudgeballs9517]

I think genuinely we really already have done worse, so we're over it (by this point in the story). But I think the story does imply the only way a species becomes advanced is through the ability to "move on" which most (healthy) humans do. I think it's required in a species to have this ability, less nobody would ever have evolved pass selfishness and throwing monkey poo. If a species (humans) weren't innately cooperative and at least somewhat understanding, the chances of mutually assured destruction happening to a species are exponential in likelihood. If we make it long enough, we passed a great filter. So it's likely any other alien has to pass this one too and will be just as enlightened (Don't trust aliens still). I just think the best species is the one who believes in the rule of law and freedom of speech.

[@mikeharris6429]

It makes stories like these stupid. It’s like the bleeding hearts who write this shit have never interacted with their own species.

[@mikeharris6429]

@@IRMentat you really think that the millions of families that had members murdered by the xenos would be fine with no retribution? The author is just a idiot.

[@joseph1150]

Well the galactic's had just waged a war of extermination... So yeah, a temporary occupation wasn't really all that bad.

[@perryfolk8796]

Humans: Or have you looked at our 20th century history? Xeno: *reads a brief summary of human history* Oh...

[@calvingreene90]

We figured out that a vengeful peace never lasts long enough for the ink to dry.

[@Anomaly-uz9pr]

Yeah learned that one that hard way and I’m not fully sure we have fully learned it yet I can see governments today doing something like that and it leading to a war

[@calvingreene90]

@@Anomaly-uz9pr Socialism is built by of lies and murder by the stupid and evil.

[@Cannonfodder0617]

> Keth, a carnivorous bipedal feline race enslaved most of the human population. Human: [looks down at pet cat] "This is normal." > In retaliation the Keth were introduced to Human warfare. Human: [looks down at pet dog] "This is also normal." > After the peace and tribunal when asked about the generous terms of punishment over the Khet. Human: [hides cat girl pictures behind back] "It could have been worse."

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

[@cameraman4549]

"Wow, so funny and weird! I like these Classifica-" *Realizes he's naming things from Earth.*

[@Velshard]

Aliens: "We apologize for all the suffering we've caused you." Humans: "Pfft.. Amateurs."

[@garystewart2355]

There is probably some fine print about the humans being allowed to pet them instead of a handshake during business deals

[@rohesilmnelohe]

Bipedal felines... We just wanted to be able to mate with them 🤣🤣🤣

[@Hellsong89]

Yeah, cant really go total war and extermination with them. This was the best strategy to keep relations so in few cycles we can go boop the snoot non aggressive manner.

[@LuffeLuffesen]

Glory to the algo/writer and narrator. I want to thank you great Agro Squerril, for introducing me to the HFY Reddit and for narrating these awsome stories.

[@AgroSquerril]

A Pleasure , glad you are enjoying

[@bernardrednix756]

There's no way the human race as a whole be that forgiving

[@badbloodkiller3471]

Well, the Keth didn't kill any civilians, and just enslaved them. Compared to what humans have done during WWII, enslavement is pretty mellow.

[@choboibigly6565]

You'd be hard pressed to find a moment in history the entire human race agreed on something

[@mrmaxwell346]

Cat girls nuff said.

[@Anomaly-uz9pr]

@@choboibigly6565 it’ will never happen and should never happen it’s part of what makes us humans we have discourse and disagree and discuss things it makes us stronger maybe we could do with the whole mass killing thing and war in the future keep it to debates not killing each other

[@iamgroobs9377]

10 bucks says we nicked their tech and as soon as we get our production rolling it would be open season on space cats, not officially of course. A missing space cat here and there won't hurt anyone.

[@Wolfbroa]

The paranoia makes sense and so far didn’t seem genocidal so I say it’s fair enough

[@bendover9813]

Tbh, why would we wanna hurt the real life cat girls???

[@darklex5150]

You sir, are right.

[@dogman4422]

Me!

[@BarokaiRein]

''Dude it's fine, you guys didn't force us to watch you eating our friends and family or something nor did you use animals as living firebombs.''

[@Roosauec]

Keth: "You...I...WHO THE HELL WOULD DO THAT?!"

[@mightyocelot]

@@RoosauecHumans: **Shuffles in front of evidence** “Umm…”

[@radioactiveassassin5218]

Many stories where humanity is discovered and feared due to them being deathworlders goes like this: Humans: Hello! Aliens: Hi! We decided to exterminate you all. Humans: What?! Why?! Aliens: We came to conclusion that you are too warmongering and violent and possible threat to every other species in galaxy Humans: That's not true! I mean, we are too violent and warmongering, but only between us! Humans and other humans! We wouldn't even think about hurting you, IF YOU LEAVE US BE.

[@silence___]

Jokes on you *I A M T H E N A N I T E S W A R M*

[@thirg424]

WHERE'S MY SOCKS?????

[@burnttoast5372]

WHERE IS MY SOCKS NANITE SWARM!!!??

[@silence___]

@@burnttoast5372 somewhere

[@anthonygenejones6744]

Humans:" eh, could have been worse." Galaxy:"what do you mean "worse"?!"

[@Eramiserasmus]

Gotta love humans random acts of mercy.

[@Demon_Umbreon0666]

I just found out about this channel a few hours ago, and I'm already loving it, lol. Hearing about my own race from the eyes of another species really puts our history into another perspective, which has been a very interesting experience.

[@yuudontenomi6947]

I propose, humans be entered into the galactic register as "fuck around and find out" in all categories.

[@user-cr4cj1fl8z]

Well it clear the humans played the tall game here. They survived a not so bad conquest and got a lot of high tech and the support of most races. I bet in no more than 10 solars the Keth would be a vassal race to the humans as servants [ Insert Cat maid image]

[@dementededge3266]

For the diplomacy! Also a great sequel to this, if there isn't already one, would be a species from outside the galactic community goes on a full scale war. They decide to start with the humans, because according to intel they let another race just walk all over them. And when humanity actually fights back at full force it's seen as terrifying, but then come the peace talks, and once again the humans show mercy. Mercy because the species didn't attack any civilians intentionally, mercy because they spared all of the children and ill, mercy because even in war they refused to kill anyone who was already wounded, humans showed mercy because even though the other species attacked them they chose to treat the humans they did capture with dignity.

[@WiredTurkey316]

Don't think of it as being kidnapped and forced into slavery. More like a surprise unpaid internship

[@morescodesup2087]

“Yeah, they made us move relatively Light boxes, and they were hard to stay mad at.”

[@Roosauec]

Only difference is, when the cats enslaved us, they gave us reasonable pay, working hours, and accomodations. So it's more like a surprise *paid* internship.

[@rhysfirth3506]

I wonder what the galactic council would have made of the Belgian Congo, If the Keth had been like Leopold II, things might have been different, but just being used as factory labour? Meh, silly kitties.

[@CaptainShield]

Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.

[@earlenriquez810]

Keth: ...Why such merciful punishment? Human: Meh it's not that bad, plus *points at their representatives* cat girls😽 Keth: ...pardon...? Human: *whispers onto her ear* *Keth blushes uncontrollably* Keth: STOP IT NYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! Human: *smug grin*...heh works everytime 😏

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

Alien: After what they did to you how can you forgive them? Human: read the latest copy of the Geneva convention? Alien: yes Human: guess which rule we did didn't break first? Alein: only one hasn't been done by you? Who on? Human: ourselves..... want a peace treaty?

[@mariemacfhionghuin11]

Khaji-- er... *_Keth_* has wares if you have coin

[@FeyTheBin]

"Space Vietnam" is one of my favorite HFY tropes.

[@MTF.TAU5..Bob.]

"When the trees speak Vietnamese and other Asian languages and the snow speaks Finnish and Russian run When the air shines with stars and Suns pray When falling comets have a radioactive symbol do nothing cause you can never do anything"

[@hollyferay8131]

I would love more of this story from this universe.

[@therealsilverking4802]

(Oh come on guys... we all know how it would go down in real life). Keth leader: Ha, ha... now we have enslaved all of humanity... lets see them all panic. 1st lieutenant: Uhhhhhm... they're not panicking.... Keth Leader: What do you mean they're not panicking, we just enslaved their entire species... what's there not to panic about. 1st lieutenant: Well, 50% of the humans are actually on our side because they claim that the accommodations and treatment they are given are actually better than what they would normally have. We call them settlers and they've set up shrines across the world, especially Egypt, in favour of cats. They say that they're just glad to have a place to live that doesn't require this strange creature they all call, the TAX.... Keth leader: We are literally beating them to death... .what the frig! 1st lieutenant: Yeah... when we asked them about that they just said.... "Well to make an omelette you've got to crack a few eggs". I don't know what an omelette is, but I'm sure I don't want to know. Keth leader: Well what about the other 50%? 1st lieutenant: Well of those 50%, 25% are rioting in the streets, looting and pillaging their own settlements, 10% are hiding inside of religious settlements, waving a crude image of an ancient torture device known as a crucifix at any of us who walk past (we would normally take this as a threat or an insult, but they were doing this before our invasion as well, so... yeah...). 5% are actually invading the settlers camps, not to free our slaves, but to brutally beat them to death with common earth weapons like the sports implements known as golf clubs and baseball bats. 5% don't care one way or the other and have found remote locations in the forests and jungles of earth to live off of the land. Keth leader: Wait... there are humans that don't care that their planet is being enslaved. 1st lieutenant: occasionally we meet a person from a large country they call "America" and they shoot at us with their "Shot Guns" while calling us, space commies... I don't know what a commie is, but they don't seem to realise that their bullets are being deflected from our force fields. Keth leader: oh my god! what the frig are we invading here.... we have to keep these lunatics suppressed at all costs.. 1st lieutenant: Yeahhhh... about that........... Keth leader: Oh... what now...?! 1st lieutenant: about 5% of them are angry about the enslavement of their race and have somehow reverse engineered our weapons and spacecrafts and they are currently bombing our slave camps.... Keth leader:.... why are they attacking the other humans? aren't they angry at us.... 1st lieutenant: Uhhh... apparently they are more concerned with destroying rival tribes and taking the opportunity to take revenge on humans who were originally settled on different land masses. Keth leader: What the frig does living on a different piece of land have to do with anything... 1st lieutenant: oh... what until you hear about their beliefs on humans that display different colours on their outer layer of skin or those that wear different religious ornaments.... (shows pictures of human related atrocities). Keth leader: Noo.... come on... you're kidding.... 1st lieutenant: Only about 2% of the 5% that are angry about our occupation are actually taking this situation seriously and are currently surrounding our planet's capital and demanding your surrender... Keth leader: .... 1st lieutenant: and the humans with different landmass based backgrounds and cultures are placing down different types of flags on every piece of land they occupy and they have already started fighting over it, so only about 1% of the 2% that are taking seriously are still alive and they are currently having a space battle in our planet's sky, see for yourself.... (Opens the door to see spaceships zooming past and firing red and green lazers at each other). Keth leader: oh god what have we done!!!

[@johnangel8361]

As the song goes "God is great, beer is good, and humans are scary."

[@nicholassmile5800]

Terror, Terra, I can see the confusion.

[@MonkeSeeMonkeLaugh]

Instead of mercy it felt more like stupidity. So they just let go because the subjugation of the entire species wasn't as bad, without any reprimand or price . Didn't went to war for that which is good but just letting go is stupid really.

[@Kingofdragons117]

They got trade agreements and reparations. I think they would have asked for much more if they were treated unfairly. (I mean that the slavery was probably manageable and the people weren't in states of poor health/starvation.)

[@2MeterLP]

Hitlers rise to power was a direct consequence of how harshly germany got punished after WW1. Having learned from that, the allied nations treated germany well and it has been an ally ever since. Fun fact: Germany has paid the last installment of the WW1 reparations in 2010, thats how much money the winners of WW1 demanded.

[@vexile1239]

@@2MeterLP almost a century to pay? Well the allies got what they deserved with ww2 and hitler but do not forget the only reason that Japan joined the axis was because in ww1 even though they couldn't participate in the western theatre of ww1 they cut of the supplies from the Eastern islands south of Japan that were controlled by Germany at that time under urging from the ww1 allies and instead of being able to keep the territory the allies forced them out and had taken them over for themselves and America was the main driving force for that

[@Roosauec]

I actually wanted to lampshade this in another story, now that you bring it up. The Keth's definition of "enslave" is "to force someone to work for no pay." During the occupation, the Keth forced Humans to do jobs they were good at, worked them for reasonable hours, gave them food, shelter, free healthcare, and tried hard to keep everyone alive. Prisoners had individual quarters, comfy beds, and were allowed amenities such as books and games. The Keth didn't engage in torture or whippings, and punishments for wrongdoings were fair. Now, compare that to the living conditions in concentration camps during WW2, or POW camps in Vietnam. Is being a Keth prisoner *really* that bad?

[@vexile1239]

@@Roosauec so basically the humans saw it as unpaid volunteer work?

[@maksgraph.47jm90]

I was a bit late but still... interesting as usual :)

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@NoTimeLikeMyTime]

Hey I heard a story from you before and I can't remember the name of it a want to hear it again it was about a human fleet gathering up for a battle and how each moved through space I think it had star wars fans, star trek fans and 40k fans in there ships (maybe some more) showing up to join the fleet If anyone knows the title of the video I'll be very grateful

[@Jason-sm4oc]

Try this link, I think it's the one you are looking for : kzbin.info/www/bejne/gXmogoWvbrhro6c&lc=Ugwf2LbbhS8C8fhgipN4AaABAg.9CkprxFS9QU9PvzxwixmaK

[@Jason-sm4oc]

the title is "r/HFY-T.F.O.S#382 - Space Battles &An unbelievable report on the discovery of a new spacefaring race" ( I think there are two stories in the video.)

[@NoTimeLikeMyTime]

Thanks so much for that I've had parts of it stuck in my head for a week it's great to hear it again and have a good laugh🤣

[@Jason-sm4oc]

@@NoTimeLikeMyTime These guys (and more) turn up in the First Contact series by Ralts Bloodthorn (also read by Mr Squerril) there are even Orks and Vampires! it gets kinda crazy at times, fun and dark at other parts worth a read/listen.

[@ashleycroydon9743]

God i love this story. I always come back to this when i need a good HFY Story. Thanks

[@MechaNexus]

I wouldn't really mind if cat aliens tried to invade us, until I get bored at least.

[@kyrillvankessel745]

What if they look like the hellspawn from the movie 'cats'

[@artbrann]

@@kyrillvankessel745 then we need the HEAVY flamers

[@idkimlikereallybored9533]

when ur tired u just grab em by the back of their neck and yell BAD KITTY

[@voodoovince8001]

Yeah humans have done some violent things to captured territories.

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhythm that is Algo It wasn't a crab, it was a cat crab lobster! (I just like the name) Sorry Keth, you're amateurs at this game.

[@J3AD]

great job, love the stories, thank you

[@carldooley9344]

Thanks for explaining why Earth is considered a Deathworld.

[@lawrencespruyt5053]

And at that last line, the rest of the counsel is reconsidered if they made the right choice

[@underworldguardian704]

“Omaga Class death worlds are worlds in which the environment is actively trying to kill life on the surface”. Humans: Australia??

[@lsporter88]

You're channel is pretty cool. You're very good at this. Salute.

[@HentaiPockyStick]

Humans: hold my caffeinated mahogany decoction.

[@ladymecha8718]

Lol the Galactic Concord were scared that the humans were scared that the humans were far worse to themselves than the Keth were.

[@luminyam6145]

That was great, thank you.

[@ashleycrane7175]

Its not nineties taking my socks but my odd cat who thinks its a dog.

[@Verboten_Joey]

Good story! Does the author intend to do one about the second Terran Systems War?

[@AgroSquerril]

I think in the original Humans are Scary they mentioned 2 wars

[@Verboten_Joey]

@@AgroSquerril I know. The story was about the first Terran Systems War. The only thing I recall about the second was stating the Terran Systems had only been involved in two wars.

[@Roosauec]

I wrote a part 1 for the Second Terran Systems war. However, I lost all my work on part 2 after I forgot to save it, and that kind of killed my inspiration. But with this newfound interest in my stories, I feel like trying again. Thanks, Agro.

[@AgroSquerril]

@@Roosauec A pleasure , thank you for writing the story

[@markuhler2664]

While I appreciate the sentiment of being kind in return after the war, I just don't see it happening. Enslavement. That's serious shit. Lots of commenters said it must not have been bad. 2 things about that. First, did I simply miss where the narrator said how wonderful being a cat-person's slave was? Second, all of humanity was enslaved. Enslaved! Is everyone here so eager to give up their freedom?

[@Roosauec]

Original Author here. I actually wanted to lampshade this in another story, now that you bring it up. The Keth's definition of "enslave" is "to force someone to work for no pay." During the occupation, the Keth forced Humans to do jobs they were good at, worked them for reasonable hours, gave them food, shelter, free healthcare, and tried hard to keep everyone alive. Prisoners had individual quarters, comfy beds, and were allowed amenities such as books and games. The Keth didn't engage in torture or whippings, and punishments for wrongdoings were fair. Now, compare that to the living conditions in concentration camps during WW2, or POW camps in Vietnam. Is being a Keth prisoner *really* that bad?

[@markuhler2664]

@@Roosauec Thanks so much for commenting. I really appreciate it, especially as long as it had been since your story was written & told. To give a short answer, as bad, no; bad, yes. First off, taking a person's liberty is either the worst or second to worst thing that could be done, with murdering him swapping spots. A slave isn't human. At least with murder you've ended to poor person's existence. They don't know that they're dead (that's a story hook there!). But with slavery you know that you're no longer the being you should be. That's why imprisonment should be such a horrible punishment in & of itself; that's why autocratic governments turn towards imprisonment, & why liberty-minded governments have such high thresholds for conviction (trial by peers, beyond a reasonable doubt, rules of evidence). Now, all this is at a ... philosophical or theoretical level and many people will think ... of more practical things & so accept the Keth treatment as you've described. But the Keth's treatment is, really, at a theoretical or idealistic level, too. Unless you want to describe the Keth as angels, which then conflicts with their attack. And so there would be mistreatment, corruption, & abuse. There would be injuries, illness, & death for which the Keth would be blamed. Crime among the humans, against the Keth, & against humans by the Keth (even among the Keth that humans would be blamed for). And some would see the punishments handed out as just, others as not severe enough, & others as unjust or too severe; and the Keth would be hated for it. There would be idealists for whom slavery of any sort would be an abomination, and so would try to raise up other slaves against their masters but fail. & the 'necessary' crack down would turn humans against their captors. There would be humans who think the universe has granted them special privileges to other humans time, labor, & goods. Obviously these are not healthy for a society but they exist & would see the Keth, who are treating them as everyone else, as oppressive because they are not allowed to oppress their fellow humans. These types of people are often charismatic & adept at hiding who they truly are (look to politicians, at least in the US). They will use their skills to excite hatred against the Keth. All this hatred and resentment and grief and loss finally given a voice in the trial. Feelings that would be felt on both sides. (A trial that doesn't really deal with the tens or hundreds of millions (billions?) dead.) Maybe you cut things short due to length of the story, although in my opinion it was good and a little more to explain things I don't think would have been bad. Something about how seeking justice after such unjust acts only leads to the master & slave reversing their positions. How in humanity's history, punishing the aggressor doesn't end the war but ensures it continues. How contact & communication in initially a limited manner like trade leads better to forgiveness, and strong alliances. Again, thanks so much for writing back. Looking at how much I wrote, can see you not (necessarily) wanting to get into all that. That getting as quick as possible to the punch of just how bad we treated each other was what you wanted to hit readers with. I guess I just got stuck on the enslavement & forced labor to support the Keth war effort.

[@Roosauec]

@@markuhler2664 No problem! I appreciate the feedback. Yes, I did want to cut down on story length, but insodoing, I ended up leaving out some crucial information that was supposed to give more feeling to the world I'm trying to display. One of the things I failed to portray was that the inhabitants of the Galaxy in my setting aren't nearly as cruel as us. While the Galactic Concord and all its member races agree that slavery is bad, what I wanted to show was that their definition of slavery was vastly different from ours. And even though wars break out, and other species are enslaved, the slave's lives still matter, and they are still seen as sentient and have rights. I wanted to bring to attention a society who basically treats captured people humanely, and make it that the Keth would eventually feel bad for something humans would hardly call slavery. I just couldn't bring that across with my writing at the time, and if I could go back, I'd probably end up rewriting this entirely to better portray what I wanted to. I had a funny idea that the Keth would collectively say "We're sorry we enslaved you, Humans!" To which humans would respond; "...that was slavery?"

[@allytank-itykitty7417]

Humans :We require some of your people.... Cats: to be a slave work force? Humans : no, to just relax in our houses and be treated like royalty with pets and snacks.

[@georgeblair3894]

Read the last two sentences from A.C. Clarke's "Landing Party".

[@sherylcascadden4988]

And all that You Tube gumph yields a like and comment for the algorithm to go with the subscription I've had for over a year. Thank you for the stories.

[@ashleycroydon9743]

Haha imprisonment sounds like a holiday. But for real I like this story

[@DeathclawJedi]

The nanite swarm is responsible for sock theft? Odd I thought it was my neighbor's pet Wendigo. Damn thing has a foot fetish. Not that you think a wendigo would be all that picky about what it eats... But when is the last time you heard of anyone keeping one as a Pet ether?!?

[@ryanstewart2289]

The best way to keep someone from declaring war on you is to trade with them. It's not always feasible, but it's almost always worth a shot.

[@benjaminpaull247]

Keep up the good work

[@AgroSquerril]

shall do , glad you enjoyed

[@yourfavoriteshiba7645]

Humans: *shrugs* It could have been worse. Aliens: How could it have been worse?!?! Humans: We'll give you an example. Today in Human history, we're going to talk about the 1930s to 40s.

[@bobsterclause342]

I laughed out loud. Oh gosh. Man dud, this is so on the spot.

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@dragonrabbit7410]

okay that was a good one!

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@idkimlikereallybored9533]

may the holy algorithm smile upon us

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@tristianlefebvre1878]

Damn Sock Stealing Nano Swarms!

[@macpurdy]

For the algorithm and the narrator.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@richardhughes4943]

I feel like this stuff should be called ego porn 😂

[@davidhenderson3400]

The Keth think they got off easy. But just give it a few years and the Keth are going to wished the humans had killed them. They are going to make the Keth's life a living hell.

[@virtualatheist]

As soon as I heard, "slave camps," I knew somebody was going to have a bad day.

[@adamorick2872]

Ya, humanity wouldn't be merciful towards an invasion of human space that had enslaved us

[@ravenouself4181]

Eh, they didn't kill any civilians or children, all in all, pretty chill Xenos. I can understand why Humanity didn't decide to pull out the StarBuster9000 Edit: Also. SPACE. CATS. Catch just do whatever they like and we just let them, mainly because it's their house .

[@technic1285]

Wait till they hear about 731.

[@gruntingtucan4894]

FOR THE ALGORITHM!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@laughingman7882]

They retooled earth infrastructure to build interstellar military equipment.... Earth won on that deal

[@oliverbroad4433]

Well that was a change, it didn't end with the galaxy in flames. HFY seems to have a lot of "Humankind snaps and totally wales on everything" stories.

[@CUBETechie]

I'm curious if you can use the whole text and insert it into a AI ?

[@davidmowbray6352]

Anyone who says sapient meat is taboo hasn't tried Teldori tendies.