Tough Guys Don't Dance (Welcome To The Basement)

Stop all that dancing, you "tender guy"! If you stand perfectly still with no rhythmic movements whatsoever, you too can be a "tough guy" and use immortal phrases like "one potato a man eats" and "Oh god! Oh man!" Get me?
In Seen It, we discuss cinematic portrayals of tough guys, warriors, watchmen, wrestlers and the like. Now get your ass off my pillow!
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All film footage is used in accordance with fair use and US copyright law. All music in the show is used with full permission of the composer.
Thanks for all the great comments. Keep em coming! If you watch one of the movies we discuss, let us know what you thought of it.
Welcome To The Basement" is a show about watching, discussing and having fun with movies. Matt choses the movie and Craig doesn't know what it is until the cameras start rolling, so none of the discussion or riffing is planned ahead of time.
Movie announced on facebook before every new episode. Get the movie and follow along.

[@maryb2587]

reporting from june 2020: "on a zoom" actually means something now.

[@drksideofthewal]

It was ahead of its time...

[@ivanclark2275]

The look on Craig’s face when he realized what the movie was is the most pure terror I’ve ever seen.

[@slc2466]

Yep, and at one point Craig appears to be melting into the couch, just to get away from the movie.

[@michaelcooley4553]

This made "THE ROOM" look like The Godfather

[@jroth8119]

"This looks like a David Lynch movie, if David Lynch was stupid..." LMFAO

[@wildinthestreets101]

I couldn't agree more. My favorite director if he had a gpa of 0.0 haha

[@jerkchickenblog]

these guys are morons. he wasn't a director and made some rookie mistakes. the film is incredibly complex and they went in trying to make fun of the whole thing and missed the point completely.

[@jerkchickenblog]

@@wildinthestreets101 not a director

[@crescentfreshbret]

Angelo, Badalmente wrote the music, so it has that connection.

[@horrorscope07]

More freaked out about the letter than finding a head in your weed stash. What a guy.

[@crescentfreshbret]

More freaked out about the possibility of killing someone than the possibility of having killed someone.

[@Davidwash3r3]

Craig’s mental collapse, hunched over on the couch, will always be my favorite moment of this show

[@theloniousswope2814]

This is one of the classic WttB episodes

[@giovannipinazza]

I never get tired of the horrified look on Craig’s face when he guesses the movie

[@wolfdwarf]

I would like to announce that this is the ""MOST POPULAR"" 'Welcome to the Basement' episode ever. Well deserved, me thinks. OH MAN, OH GOD.

[@michaelcooley4553]

This Masterwork won Mailer the Golden Raspberry for worst Director. He tied with Elaine May for Ishtar.

"Type type type!" made it into my daily vocabulary.

[@terrorsquadlith]

you fuckin loser..

I know, right?!

[@terrorsquadlith]

***** nah man you're cool

[@MrBjanders]

Why would a grown man, with his own house, keep his weed stash hidden driving distance away in the woods? I suppose that's only one out of a thousand more pressing questions this film raises. I knew I had to watch the full movie after watching this excellent episode and I wasn't disappointed. It's even more hilariously insane than the well-chosen clips here can convey.

[@NatterCast]

I saw this movie in the theater when it first came out and ever since then I've been shouting "Bolo!" whenever I leave a room. Changed my life.

[@jmparker78]

It was only after seeing this that I realized Bolo was her African-American driver. Why on Earth Clarence Williams III took this nothing role I'll never know.

[@Manny535]

That's because you got no woooomb!

[@liketanyanot]

I hung out w/Mailer's son one night. He was friends with a bunch of Scientologists and was dating an ex-Playboy bunny who was having a solo art exhibition that among other things in her show included a 9-foot tall painting of a penis that was being used as a jewelry stand. The whole night was basically an extended second generation version of this movie. I mean it made about as much sense as this movie and the characters were about as real as the ones in the film. I didn't feel like I had learned much at night's end.

[@Piterdeveirs333]

Every couple of months I have to come back and watch this episode because it is amazing

[@Qunt21]

7:43 The greatest line delivery of all time.

[@stevnated]

This is the freaking greatest and most iconic Welcome to the Basement ever.

[@jerkchickenblog]

then the show is the problem. morons

[@TheStewieOne]

I just look at the Wikipedia page and they don't know what this film is about. It's described as "crime mystery comedy-drama film." When I read that I started laughing.

[@Kenro200x]

Tough Guys Don't Dance is the movie that introduced me to your videos so this movie holds a special place for me.

[@TheRealSplitterguy]

"I wanna get rid of Big Stoop-... Rich guy, marry him, then, we'll meet again-... I divorce the rich man-" I don't even... But I AM amused at Penn Jillette's appearance in the film.

[@TheVision114]

One potato a man eats...

[@jfrsnjhnsn]

This was to 1987 what the Counselor was to 2013.

[@tarransanders21]

Actually, now that you mention it...

[@TheRealSplitterguy]

Sadly, the Counselor actually had a conceivable plot, compared to this mess.

[@jfrsnjhnsn]

DID NOT.

[@TheRealSplitterguy]

jfrsnjhnsn USING CAPS AND NON-SEQUITORS NOW?

[@jfrsnjhnsn]

Yes, I'm trying to get a job as Cormac McCarthy's ghostwriter. And GIVE ME BACK MY PLIERS

[@MisterSynyster]

I pretend that The Wrestler is actually just the movie Barton Fink was writing the whole time.

[@MrJohndoakes]

This was made when Cannon Films was doing or releasing arty movies to seem somewhat respectable; they also released "Powaqqatsi" (the sequel to "Koyaanisqatsi"), a version of Verdi's opera "Otello" with Placido Domingo as the title role, and the black sheep, Jean-Luc Godard's "King Lear", which has bits where secretly-taped telephone conversations between Godard and the film's backer Menahem Golan are played because Godard thought Golan and Globus were shlockmakers.

[@adgato75]

I love Big Trouble in Little China. And the DVD commentary is one of the best and most entertaining I've heard. Carpenter and Kurt Russell laugh the whole time and sound like they are genuinely having a good time.

[@DVDandFilmBloke]

7:43 You can even see the actor trying not to laugh, imagine all the outtakes. If only I could find a copy, it looks hysterical.

[@bryanfreeman5239]

A nice limited edition blu came out last month, from Vinegar Syndrome. Some slow parts, but such a strange vibe and weird dialogue. Def worth a watch.

[@DVDandFilmBloke]

​@@bryanfreeman5239 I should have put this as a response but I've finally seen it and I thought it was complete shit, not even funny shit. It was so boring most of the humour from what should be the funny scenes was muted.

[@annaheff7332]

The way Craig goes into the fetal position after the “make out five times a night” line never fails to slay me

[@tobiasbash5741]

You all are my type of dweebs. Recognize. Have you read any other Mailer?

[@RobotEthanMars]

So, I figured out where David Cage learned how to write and direct.

[@lyricsfromsweden]

JASON?!?

[@OfficialChrissums]

ETANN QU'EST CE QUE TU FAIT ALORS?! What are you doing here you Spago?

[@marinajordan8939]

2:01 Craig's reaction is my favorite moment in WTTB history

[@Fuckyourselfgoogle]

FINALLY I know where that "oh god oh man" scene is from.

[@GreasyMcNasty]

"BOLO!"

[@matthewdietzen6708]

Maybe she was trying to summon Bolo Yeung?

[@Herv3]

lol at his face when he heard Ryan O'Neill

[@primalkaran3483]

Watched this episode so many times. Gives me so much joy. Watching it yet again. ‘One episode a man watches.’

[@evildust-vd7ql]

I’ve rewatched this episode so many times I think I’m starting to understand the plot of this movie.

[@captainnutella67]

I finally watched this film after 7 years of rewatching this video regularly. I had to buy a dvd of it because it's no longer on any streaming services(and all *alternate* sources are either dead links or in low quality). It was definitely a bad movie, there's no other way look at it. However, I think having seen your review of it braced me for the craziness and helped me to follow the plot far more than if I had went in blind. The slow way the story is told over the course of those strangely ordered flashbacks was actually somewhat interesting. I believe that under all the horrendous acting there's a compelling mystery about a man being framed for three murders that happen during and because of a scheme to defraud Wardly of his money and the bizarre love triangles involved. The details don't always add up and it buried under insanity, but it's in there. It's because of this I really want to read the book now, even if it lacks the potato consumption metaphor. In the end, I greatly enjoyed the movie but that enjoyment was doubtlessly enhanced from this video. I'm glad to have it on my shelf now, and I'm grateful to you both for showing it to me in the first place.

[@jerkchickenblog]

it's a bad movie if you're a moron it's true. its a poorly directed movie for the rest of us. the script is amazing and it's incredibly complex

[@thenamesbanana]

Man, the more I watch these, the more I just love Craig! The guy is quality!

[@mikehurt3290]

When I feel down or need a good laugh I watch this video and it always helps

[@linkfan160]

5 years later and this is still one of the best episodes on this show.

[@jerkchickenblog]

then it's a very shitty show

[@elijahbeaver5388]

I'm no huge Norman Mailer fan, but to be fair, a lot of this dialogue was pretty good on paper. On paper, I say.

[@jerkchickenblog]

it's an amazing script. it's great spoken too he was just a shitty director.

[@Mute_Nostril_Agony]

I agree. I loved reading the book but the movie is like The Room. I remember watching this in Japan and trying to make sense by resorting to the subtitles. About half way through, whoever was doing the subtitles clearly gave up

[@TheDenoginator]

"Master of the house Doling out the charm Ready with a handshake And an open palm..."

[@JohnHazelwood]

I have seen this video 50 or 60 times over the last couple years; finally, tonight, I watched the movie. Have to say I liked the film but only because you guys did a great job setting it up. The movie is terrible, but I understand why and can ignore that and soak up the crazy. :)

[@take1the1waffle]

Wow Matt has lost a lot of weight . Good on him

[@kakashi76767]

THE END. You did it again Mailer! You're really on a zoom kid! Laughed so hard I started crying! :)

[@Saltine79]

I watch this episode monthly.

[@stormcloudsabound]

9:03 man john wick chapter 2 looks great

[@eryndean2769]

9:53 "on a zoom" get's funnier every time I hear it XD

[@Mr.CantThinkOfAName]

My guess is that Mailer was trying to use exploitation film dialogue

[@blamesocietyfilms]

I did like the peek behind the curtain of professional wrestling and we did talk about that, but it ended up getting cut. Probably should have just left it in. The main things I didn't like in the movie were his relationship with his daughter and with Marisa Tomei.

[@RMSanford]

Great episode! Watching Craig's reaction of terror as Matt introduced the film was priceless.

[@Fubsy555]

I'm glad this is the most watched video in this series. This episode is the one I show people to get them into this show. Cause it's genius!

[@shooterep]

I'm starting to think this is my favorite blamesocietyfilms show. Matt and Craig, your intelligent discussion mixed with the humorous pokes at the movie make for an extremely entertaining video to watch. I hope you are still doing this show far into the future!

[@phxsns1]

I'm so glad that I discovered this series. Keep up the fantastic work, guys.

[@sgt.zombie]

Finally watched yesterday with my friend, and we had all the same reactions as Matt and Craig.

[@BiscuitDude01]

7:43 - You can tell she's trying to hold her laughter in after reading that line. Oh god, oh man.

[@jerkchickenblog]

if you're actually stupid enough to believe she had both not read the book or the script before she did the scene sure. these guys are morons that went in looking for comedy and trashed an amazing script, missing the whole point.

[@blueberrywine69]

this was one of my favorite episodes you have done

[@simongissler]

GREAT episode guys! While you were watching the movie I was laughing so hard I was crying almost the whole way through.

[@ShonkyAdonis]

Oh man, oh man, oh man, I love this show.

[@theonetheonlymeggiet]

You guys have influenced me to watch so many movies! I can't wait to watch them all and I always look forward to each episode; I usually get really interested in the movies you briefly discuss like Trolls 2, the best worst movie ever, and I just watched Audition, creepy! I really love movies and I appreciate the hilarious and intelligent discussions you have about many aspects of moviemaking. Keep up the good work guys and I'll keep watching!

[@Schmoopie56]

This video made me laugh so hard I cried. Actual real tears. Thanks so much for that.

[@Zylork0122]

I can say that I've had the Putney Swope Panic while watching Battleship tonight on FX.

[@jmparker78]

Well, it's been five years since I watched this review, and I've finally watched the movie. And oh god, oh man, it was GLORIOUS in its awfulness! The stuff you guys showed was insane enough but there was so much more on top of that! And good lord, Debra Sandlund, who found this woman? And where? My guess is poles and high heels were involved. It is rare that I see a performance so bad that it's transcendent! One thing, the line "get your ass off my pillow"...the way you guys talked about it made me think it was a metaphor like "get out of my personal business" or something. But she's sitting on his bed and her ass is literally on his pillow. He's telling her to stop sitting on it.

[@jmparker78]

Also...I don't think I've ever seen a movie where two guys are repeatedly described as "faggots" (the movie calls them that, not me), and apparently literally, though both of them go after women. Wardly and Lonnie are supposedly gay, and implied to have been in a relationship with each other, but aside from Wardly at one point suggesting that he wants Tim to suck his cock (he settles for an arm around the shoulder) neither one of them do anything that's actually gay. Lonnie is apparently married to Jessica and Wardly is married to, and wants back, Patty Lareine.

[@griffknox]

Excellent timing this time boys. I was just ending up my day at work and for some reason I thought "Man, seems about time for a new episode of Welcome to the Basement". I get home and there it is! Thanks!

[@ClaroQueQuiza]

I watched "Tough Guys" with my friend to distract him from his recent surgery. Success! Too confused and amazed at the script and performances to notice his discomfort. Thanks for pointing this one out!

[@comandercool22]

I bought Tough Guys Don't Dance because of this review and oh god, oh man do I get a kick out of it. Thanks Matt and Craig!

[@MegaGamerdemon]

Hey guys, went and watched Clue and thanks for suggesting it it had me laughing throughout the whole film and thank to you it is my new favorite film, Thanks again, Elliott

[@SeeJayAre]

Wow, these are fantastic!

[@adamjg4]

The way you two observe films - even bad ones - is oddly compelling.

[@ndgv2]

another great episode. thanks.

[@MELANIE1001]

Man I love this show. You guys rock - and now I don't have to watch this movie, you did it for me :-)

[@JakeWithee]

This show only continues to get more awesome with each episode. Keep it up! Also, have either of you seen In Bruges? Because that is one hell of a movie.

[@Zylork0122]

I watched this film on Tubi tonight and found out that Penn Jillette played Big Stoop.

[@ben_bennie_nie]

You guys are the only why to make these kind of movies funny ;)

[@LordTJT]

I would like to thank you for watching this movie. Now I now never to each it myself. It did make a good episode of your show.

[@jonnavdpas]

I cracked up so many times during this. What even was that movie!? You guys are the best. ;)

[@WilsonFiskTheBlackKingpin]

John Bedford Lloyd: Also in 'The Abyss'. That was driving me crazy.

[@Enigamis]

Haha i agree full heartily with you, i hope they see this and actually consider it.

[@Coreycoolguy]

I love the show. Please keep up the amazing work guys. I would donate, but I'm always so broke!

[@blamesocietyfilms]

Actual sounds.

[@toddybottoms]

I am so glad you guys do these so I will never make the mistake of watching certain movies....like this one. Although I have to admit I already saw Megaforce decades before you could warn me. lol

[@karilari8057]

aww, poor little Craig...he didn't know what to do.

[@TheJokersCorner]

I gotta watch this film now... this looks hilariously bad. xD Love your show guys! I watch it every chance I get. Keep up the great work! :)

[@blamesocietyfilms]

Yeah, agreed.

[@hottopicthief]

As much as everyone always requests it, you guys really need to do a review of "the room" or "undefeatable", they are a couple of horrible movies you watch over and over and it just makes them great!! Love you guys!

[@DanielVanDale]

Also, I would like to make a suggestion that in your Guides section of the website, that you list all of your Seen it! movies. Just because it's getting hard to remember all of them. Love you guys! Your dynamic and wit are a delight.

[@tmrezzek5728]

'Link' from TV's The Mod Squad is in this! Awesome! -- god bless Golan-Globus for green-lighting what is arguably one of the most hilarious films of the 80's.

[@Maxx5Studios]

Matt, thank you for the commentary on film adaptations. I completely agree, and I get extremely frustrated when I hear people complain that an adaptation isn't exactly like the source material.

[@Av1l0n]

Loved the episode, Inspired me to trek the outer reaches of film, thank you. Craig, has anyone ever told you that you look like Nosferatu's Illegitimate white great great great great great grandchild?

[@tinabina122]

Just so you guys know, I went through heck and high water (very publically) to get my hands on a copy of this film...... told all of my friends about how cool you guys made it sound...... then Friday I watched it( with my teenager)... OMG.. I wish you would have told me the rating. I covered her eyes ( and ears) and we muddled through it,,, It sort of helped get the conversation going about things I should have talked to her about already so, thank you? besides that, I appreciate your humor

[@joebyrneguitar]

man I love these - always sooo funny. The best show ever to have a drink watching and it made me go and watch love story!! i actually really enjoyed it though probably wouldn't go back and re-watch it, i would highly recomend the james bond film tommorow never dies....yeahhhh i know seems weried but it was my favourite film growing up XD

[@frankenmuth1]

If you guys ever want to do the cinema immersion tank again this would be a fine choice.

[@MrRobison94]

The Wrestler is way more than Mickey Rourke's comeback. It has a compelling story, interesting look on the wrestling scene, and the off life of one who pursues that path.

[@CaptChrispy]

fookin brilliant

[@takingtheblade]

Are there any shows similar to this on KZbin? Can't get enough!

[@AgentAdorno]

Good show on any level again! Would love to see another special like Lost Highway but with Watchmen. And have you seen beyond the black rainbow or samsara?

[@Brandon12983]

4:06 This guy played the mob boss in Star Trek TNG S1 E12

[@LucasKussowski]

Thanks for the shout out Matt - OMG!!! :)

[@PoppyRoseWitch]

My very favorite WttB!

[@craigsips8677]

I watched this movie when I was 10 and loved it!

[@sarasak86]

This is my favorite video lol

[@Houlgravely]

If Tough Guys Don't Dance isn't the greatest movie of all time, I dunno what is! :D

[@jerkchickenblog]

it's complex and most millennials now think it's a big joke because of one line and an inability to actually think about things.

[@Tardisntimbits]

Oh god...Oh man! I wish I could've hung out with you guys and watched this with you, I can't imagine how much funnier this was all the way through. I hadn't actually seen this before, it's a bit less fun being by yourself. ._.