The Confessions of Saint Augustine

[@user-hw2tg5bt1d]

I like the idea of some old grandpa clicking on this video hoping to watch a documentary

[@vvitchysims]

Not an old grandpa, just a young student, but I couldn’t have asked for anything more beautiful 👩‍🍳 💋

[@SPACECOWBOY705]

He's clearly gay

[@liammeharry]

Your gay grandpa would

[@rainbowGZUS7]

This is literally how I found this.. was high listening to religious documentaries and ended up gay

[@stoicpoetry]

This is literally the video that introduced me to cumtown

[@ardaorhan]

"My lord, I've had a basement built for the sole purpose of committing sins closer to hell..." Nick in rare form

[@inktoxicant]

The change-up in Nick's voice when he yells "I'M WRITING MY BOOK" is comedic art

[@purshottamadevadhikar5035]

@tatersncorn just some beautiful synergy

[@CosmicL407]

He's so effortless funny 😂

[@iwantsomecookies08]

i am also gay.

[@snafu700]

Thats nicks real voice

[@dookfields2362]

@@snafu700 woah fr? No way dude

[@mattposky2892]

It's so important to keep history alive. Thank you for sharing this.

[@namebrandrobots1248]

Not as important as doing gay stuff with my dad. I'm doing my part

[@JeffreySmith84]

"St Augustine's diary was discovered *after* his execution for homosexuality..." is one of the funniest interjections of all time

[@Garry_Combine]

Yeah, sure thing bud.

[@GARGANTUANMASKEDFISH]

Heh, alright pal.

[@Chiefs_fan1595]

“Oh good we got it right”

[@Cowboy684]

We're really glad you liked it, Skippy.

[@juvenoiachild7675]

literally hands down the best all time riff of Nick

[@BacklTrack]

Its close but not quite the best

[@squarenoize1]

@@BacklTrack whats thw best backitrack

[@masonkowalski2576]

Rift

[@EdwardSnortin]

@@masonkowalski2576 this nigga really said rift

[@realexkav]

Rift

[@-relentlessxchaos-]

I had to read to read portions of The Confessions of St. Augustine for a college paper. This bit made me laugh to the point I had tears flowing.

[@jesseriekenberg1724]

It's pretty neat book

[@ShinMadero]

I can't believe how niche this bit is. It's so funny and accurate.

[@lonewulf108]

and ur gay.

[@Kwisatz-Chaderach]

It's one of the most important books in Western Civilisation. Pretty cool these goobers are well read XD.

[@wtp7631]

I got me too😊

[@47jakobi]

it's actually kind of beautiful that Adam felt so pulled in by Saint Agaystine's ramblings about Stewie that he just had to interrupt

[@tennesseewilliams101]

Took too long on a lunch break and they Sent me home Too long on a lunch break Adan friedland show

[@Cocklord911]

@@tennesseewilliams101least drunk and fired cum town viewer

[@MTyler8787]

@@tennesseewilliams101 a beautiful almost-haiku

[@benjaminharper677]

@@MTyler8787 oh good lord

[@chiefwawawa]

@@MTyler8787 kzbin.infoMVciqR7CTyM

[@stuckinadazzee]

I have this entire conversation transcript tattooed on my stomach.

[@nothingforyouhere418]

Hell yeah dude

[@liammeharry]

Prove it

[@Loquacious_Jackson]

Half of it is Stav cackling like a maniac

[@joshleake4587]

Qa

[@gils33]

Down to your anus ?

[@nutty_tv2967]

This bit straight up got me fired from a dollar store job because this shit came on Bluetooth while I was out smoking a cigarette.

[@roastbeefy0weefy]

hell yeah dude

[@borismuller3279]

Imagine you're just browsing and then this comes on over the intercom.

[@gabeal2892]

It was divine intervention! 😂

[@nutty_tv2967]

@@borismuller3279 straight up what happened 😂

[@borismuller3279]

@@nutty_tv2967 hell yeah, dude

[@astral_plane_crash]

Nick Mullen is the funniest living comedian and this is proof. He is a genius.

[@lindboknifeandtool]

Without sounding dumb and gay it’s because he’s so smart. He has lots of arbitrary information up there, and half of it is verbatim plot synopsis

[@WeOnlyEatSoup]

100%

[@weedtaco1443]

As an Augustinian Catholic I am so happy this exists and that my dad might accidentally watch it

[@dogma7346]

adam asking what’s the deal with saint augustine before immediately saying two facts he knows about him right after they called him out for doing that with the ski slope is amazing

[@lindboknifeandtool]

Him being under such a microscope all the time with all he says is so funny. It’s a bit but you treat it as reality 😂

[@larkturner7136]

I’m transcribing this rift into Ecclesiastical Latin and Biblical Aramaic

[@seanyb5289]

Post it when you're done

[@nateybopeep1020]

Progress?

[@somethingcreativeprobably5160]

Are you done?

[@josephwallace202]

Give us an update

[@PreacherJenkins]

Still waiting, brother

[@smokyprogg]

Him scrubbing through the book and randomly landing back to back on "so easily penetrated" and "loving a man as if he will never die" is all the proof I need of God

[@prangmasterflash5590]

i watch this bit every couple weeks, keeps me grounded.

[@BranGrizz]

Nick would never admit it but he must’ve listened to the st Augustine audiobook for several hours to prepare for this, what a professional

[@quelquefois6754]

i think he just knows religious shit from reading crazy stuff whenever he's really manic and goes a bit cuckoo fantasizing about being god

[@BranGrizz]

@@quelquefois6754 I dont think he fantasizes about being a god, I think he fantasizes more about getting syphilis and then dying in a holy war

[@CoreyGolphenee]

He also read a ton of William S Burroughs.

[@lindboknifeandtool]

@@quelquefois6754exactly this.

[@rabbitrun777]

not really. it’s one of the most famous philosophical works in history that most people have some passing knowledge of

[@WDC_OSA]

A classic. I'm glad more people are finding the wisdom of Cum Town, even after all three of its hosts have passed.

[@nateosborne7361]

Rest in peace. Especially stavros. He died really hard of gay diabetes

[@v_i_e_w_e_r_405]

R.I.P. Gay Actor Michael Douglas

[@manuelmelguizo5739]

Two hosts*

[@FumblsTheSniper]

I can’t go to church anymore. It’s been ruined. Thank the lord and all his pleasurable girth.

[@metromancer]

one of the funniest things ever said in this show was the "IM WRITING MY BOOK" bit

[@gagnorblu]

Stav interjecting with the thickest Baltimore accent possible was the icing on the cake.

[@orfeo793]

@@gagnorblu shit like this is why I miss him

[@IntolerableFish]

"there's fucking slopes!" - pvt. Nick Mullen, Saigon (1972)

[@georgeemery3295]

Nick would have thrived in Vietnam

[@sandequation2653]

​@@georgeemery3295In a Frank Reynolds way though

[@diverguy3556]

​@@georgeemery3295he would have gone full Dennis Hopper.

[@jamieloomas347]

i watched this video for the first time after spending ten weeks translating st augustines confessions into english from latin for a university course. Nick understood the book better than 40% of Academics

[@1shogunate696]

I can listen to him doing this 24/7

[@mememaster-pj7xn]

Heres to you Saint Augustine

[@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese]

Did I do that?

[@Aex3f4]

Jou can't just say that about Christianity. It lacks de context.

[@djcoinlaundry]

So I guess the fortune tellers right

[@brendan4859]

I just clicked to say that this Photoshop is excellent. Now I'm listening to the whole thing.

[@cheesetownboatrepairmainte2101]

Not a homosexual but your hair is immaculate 👍

[@cheesetownboatrepairmainte2101]

Not a homosexual but your hair is immaculate 👍

[@cheesetownboatrepairmainte2101]

Not a homosexual but your hair is immaculate 👍

[@cheesetownboatrepairmainte2101]

Not a homosexual but your hair is immaculate 👍

[@cheesetownboatrepairmainte2101]

Not a homosexual but your hair is immaculate 👍

[@gofannon1943]

“You’re gonna mid-bit explain it” 😂

[@bonsur7412]

I remember the first time I heard this like it was yesterday. I practically suffocated.🎉

[@thejunkface]

I love that my mid role advertisement for this video was a Chinese portrait photo shop from southern Ontario.

[@jrwhynot3631]

it takes about 25 seconds of nick not talking for the cast to unravel. priceless

[@doug892]

I keep coming back to this classic. So damn funny

[@karllager2214]

The use of reverb as a bit enhancer is genius.

[@ShinMadero]

I went to an Augustinian college and this shit is so funny.

[@nicholasricardo8443]

Go Wildcats

[@TurdFerguson884]

“Oh good lord when you looked down upon me as I bend at the knee and hip to receive thine good graces upon my puckered anus” -Saint Augustine

[@DMO-DMO-DMO]

I've listened to this so many times now

[@coheteos]

This video is the 3rd vid that appears when you write "the confessions of saint augustine" in the search bar. So 100% a bunch of old guys ended up here by mistake

[@tovsteh]

Man I literally cry laughed hearing this skit for the first time and Ive been looking for it ever since.

[@trevordrexler5652]

whats awesome is the title is a real book and 100% old catholics have clicked on this video.

[@InnerGhiEnergy]

“Hey auggie”

[@beetlehorn]

The "I get it" and breaking the bit in context to explaining arousal over Stewie Griffin had me almost dying

[@cicadatired]

This is literally the funniest ad read I've ever heard Like I have no increased desire to buy the product I just cried from laughter

[@Thomas_Roland]

"Who is Saint Augustine?" "IDFK Why you asking me?" "The only thing I know about GOD is St Nicholas's name" Stav has disappointed his Greek Ancestors that spent generations fending off muslims for their beloved Orthodox Church

[@timkopf5400]

Stav: “is he actually gay”

[@GAMER123GAMING]

What generations? Remember the old phrase better the Turkish turban than the Papal tiara?

[@raingulfdrengot195]

Fending off Muslims? They were sucking turkish cocks and producing best statesmen for 5 centuries.

[@violenceisfun]

​@@GAMER123GAMINGafter all the looting and snuggle struggle play in the 4th Crusade they would say something like this.

[@tracing.fiction]

Fifty shades of faith

[@trashteamracing8262]

I didn't realize there was a "source of our moaning" angle! St. Augustine was a real bro for sure.

[@a-gnosis]

i like how this whole thing was technically an ad. lmao

[@rgblanka7344]

I love how it just immediately turns into nick reciting lolita from memory

[@SPACECOWBOY705]

Nick is a genius

[@alliedatheistalliance6776]

Shout out to all the people who clicked on this thinking it would be a serious video

[@btsnake]

Shout out to the people who clicked on this video in lieu of doing their reading for a college class

[@alliedatheistalliance6776]

@@btsnake "Citation: Cumtown episode 237"

[@Cowboy684]

Slipping this into a publicly listed biblical history playlist frfr

[@jotunwhoracle9334]

One of the all time best bits. Norm quality.

[@cu11en76]

The show isn’t the same anymore without stav, but thanks to anti prophet for taking me back

[@PanicGiraffe]

Stav fatly quitting the show really ruined it. Adam is a bad host and not in a funny way.

[@stevensmith1031]

​@@PanicGiraffeyou have to admit that getting celebrity guests like Doug Levinson is a pretty good bit

[@about29cats]

The show is actually better now that I don't have to listen to Stav try to convince the audience that he has sex

[@PanicGiraffe]

@@about29catsNo way dude.

[@about29cats]

@@PanicGiraffe yes way bro

[@jared_really]

The Sins of Defication is a great band name

[@moretoastedthanatoasterstr9773]

I honestly find it fucking hilarious when nick goes in full fuck the audience mode just getting the text to speech voice in the echo effect will always be hilarious just for him to go back to the read truly a Innovative comedian

[@JoeyTheShmo]

This is like an actual sermon, but instead of Gregorian chants, it’s just Stav’s fat chuckles

[@aaronfields9711]

2:24 will forever make me laugh

[@EMD_HOKIO]

The greatest sin is discovering this even existed after it’s all over

[@nils4279]

i feel like nicks eyes roll back into his head when this form comes out

[@tcritchfeld481]

You got me. I pulled up the video.

[@drbrontosaurus]

Honestly not that different than the confessions of St. Terry Davis.

[@Topgorilla_]

Reminds me of the confessions of Adam friedland

[@chaddaddywarden4349]

You see a glowie, u run it over

[@nnnn1285]

I think he's havin' sess with God, yo.

[@nnnn1285]

I got pissures of his debit card

[@domsanchez148]

Nick should do Thomas Aquinas next.

[@domsanchez148]

@MadeAnAccountOnlyToReplyToThis Nice one bro. 👍

[@morqesahar]

Wonderful.

[@kobeyashi808]

This Clips about to blow up again

[@goodtimesgamingtm1316]

Literally came back to this video just to say that the part where the roommate walks in just makes me think of 40k angron walking in on lorgar writing his chaos book

[@janberkemeier7406]

"All I ever wanted was to be gay. Remember those words as you read the ones that follow. I never set out to topple my father's kingdom of lies from a sense of misplaced pride. I never wanted to bleed the species to its marrow, reaving half the galaxy clean of human life in the bitter crusade that followed. I never desired any of this, though I know the reasons for which it must be done. But all I ever wanted was to be gay."

[@goodtimesgamingtm1316]

@@janberkemeier7406 Angron:”Yo lorgar cut out that gay suit we can hear you from in here.” Lorgar:”GET OUT IM WRITING MY BOOK!!!”

[@ivn3580]

When 40k and Cumtown crossover, I fucking rope Also I'm gay

[@olliedibben8837]

Khornetown

[@emmamiddleton3190]

Cumarragh

[@ManDuderGuy]

Thou busteth in duty!

[@INEED2GOHOMENOW]

“Have you never read the Confessions of St. Augustine?”

[@bunchaducksinatux]

It is impressive that the narrator managed not to laugh throughout this whole thing.

[@imsurfingontheearthimasurf5975]

Guys, I, much like Saint Augustine, have a confession to make: I'm gay

[@alexandersen1072]

I need a version with stav and adam edited out so i can just throw it on and people think its an audiobook

[@bobloblaw3191]

The 3 together made something special

[@thatonescrambler]

More like 5am

[@eddiek106]

I love that this is recommended above all the other videos on this subject matter.

[@KeeperOTG]

The Sins of Defecation

[@josefbecher4790]

Thank god my closet has wifi..

[@kimberlyel82]

I live in Dundalk now I didn’t grow up here but I had friends that did

[@Loquacious_Jackson]

Your guy friends? Whats his name?

[@kimberlyel82]

@@Loquacious_Jackson it’s a lot of them… I hung with ppl that went to Dundalk high that graduated from 96 to 1999 and Patapsco that graduated about the same years. And my husband is in the picture but he lived in sparrows point

[@dzavelion]

You could do a whole special on this and it would kill

[@cactuscraig356]

Looks like this is the video antiprophet spoke about

[@sarahd8093]

Here from antiprophet too 😊

[@stevenhetzel6483]

Man, I wish I could experience Cumtown for the first time again. Yall so lucky

[@OLDMANWAFFLES]

Damn this shit aired so many years ago, it’s so funny that you were recommended this by a troll.

[@tylersimmons4287]

when he threw on the echo it was THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST FROM THE FUTURE

[@davidfenton6682]

I love this picture! Great work!

[@connorpalmer6454]

I have watched this more than once and I just realized the thumbnail is not St. Augustine. I'm gay.

[@kevinnicholson2335]

Yesterday I watched a lot of CumTown. Today I was on a Christian Theology binge. This thumbnail made me double take .

[@Hussainmq]

He looks like Nick Mullen

[@jacobjenn1]

I never noticed, but now that you mention it…I kind of see it

[@gorlack2231]

Man, I recognize Simon Vance's voice fucking anywhere. Crazy to find out he's Saint Augustine.

[@janefkrbtt]

The confessions of Saint Bustanstine

[@josefbecher4790]

St. Hogistine

[@rovleculina8237]

Why St. Augustine wanted to receive the girth of the Lord, as well as the saint's time in San Francisco 😄😄😄 This was some nice trolling man.

[@tylerwilliamson6798]

Stav always tries to hijack the best Nick bits

[@iannordin5250]

In this instance it worked

[@Murphmonster69]

Keep in mind this is a bit with a hint of ad read.

[@havanaradio]

That cocaine pause 🤣

[@CoreyGolphenee]

This is like feudal Soft Machine.

[@Vincent-dw2mg]

They should have you on the Adam Friedland show

[@m3llowrush]

St Augustine for 3rd mic

[@JoyTiempo]

I love that the recommendations are baffled by this one and I'm getting Trad Cath and Cümtown. Both me ultimately, because I'm gay but Catholic monastic gay

[@paulmarchano7238]

I laughed the whole video, just from looking at this picture.

[@DrBose]

I am from a different religion and I thought I am going to have some Philosophical knowledge about Christianity from this video. 😢

[@Ki_Adi_Mundi]

It's....equivalent.

[@B.C.101]

You did. You learn just how gay priests can get. And you thought lil nas x was gay.

[@somethingcreativeprobably5160]

It's just a bit more honest

[@gabeal2892]

Congrats, ur gay now! 😂

[@danieltownsend6500]

It was a different time back then that's for sure

[@td0713]

Watching this before church this morning! Hoping to pray the gay away, wish me luck!

[@ConspiracyGamesAndPodcastClips]

Wtf movie was Nick watching that he got this cadance SO RIGHT! 😅😂😂

[@gediboy5695]

Btw, the podcast is question is actually called cumtown

[@pooproductions3394]

Lmao my man out here referencing Cumtown

[@loganlee5875]

That's def Stavros giggles I hear. I'm in

[@5686darryl]

saint bustentine