Toxic Positivity: The Dark Side of Positive Vibes - From Fort Lauderdale Therapists

[@YoungBasedChefBeezy]

I’m surprised this doesn’t have more views! This is extremely important for people to hear. ITS OKAY TO BE UPSET! life isn’t isn’t perfect and neither are we!

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Thank you for the kind words! We're new to putting things on KZbin so it might take us a bit to learn how to be discovered.

[@YoungBasedChefBeezy]

The Psychology Group blessings and prosperity to the both of you. I hope your message reaches out to anyone who needs to hear it.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Thank you, @@YoungBasedChefBeezy . That is very nice of you.

[@GuitarGrrrella]

If life were perfect, we'd be awfully bored.

[@Rkisosondi]

I was told by someone very close to me that posting on Facebook about how much I was grieving for my mother was “bring everyone down”. If you can’t be there when I’m down, be gone when I’m up.

[@DearProfessorRF]

I didn’t know it was called toxic positivity, and now that I do I see why I get upset with those who are dismissive of one’s sufferings The expression “it is what it is” is one that I hate to hear. Thank you ladies.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

You're welcome. Thank you for watching!

[@YanniMillz13]

I just had to go through this before , I couldn’t be my full self around them , I was forcing myself to be something I didn’t want to be because my “friend” was on this growth journey and she had no room for anyone else growth spectrum . If it didn’t look like how her looked , it was “I don’t have time to be around this”

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That doesn't sound pleasant at all. How are you doing today?

[@angelrose7426]

Thank you for this video . I was raised in this kind of environment. In such an environment a child's needs can go unnoticed. People don't realize the impact that losing touch with reality has on a child. In my case I was sexually abused by a family friend living in our house. My parent's choose non reactivity, blaming me for the abuse and complete non protection. I was 10 years old and doubly traumatized. By the abuse which continued in spite of me begging and pleading not to be left alone with him . And second by the trauma of realizing the people who said they loved m would not protect me. My parents were addicted to a positive image of our family life ... a perfect one . My father was addicted to PMA at all costs and Non Reactivity. He actually told me as an adult that if he had done anything to protect me he would be just as bad a human being as the man that abused me. People are addicted to Denial and painting a rosy picture in our society. It has traumatic consequences both for the individual and others around them like a defenseless child.

[@AnimalsMatterMorally]

So NOW I know exactly why co-workers piss me off when they try to brush away something I mention that's a negative reaction or if I complain about something with irrelevant and unhelpful stifling positivity. (Yet they want ME to listen to when they bitch on and on.) Thank you for nailing it !

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

In the end, everyone wants to be heard. Thanks for watching!

[@AnimalsMatterMorally]

@@ThePsychologyGroup Exactly! But few want to truly listen to others or validate them anymore.

[@mrsdragonite]

I'm work in the fitness industry, and while I love the job, I am living in poverty under my superiors. I've tried negotiating for more hours, which I was denied, so I tried explaining the importance of nutrition I needed through food. I got every other "optimistic" answer like food banks and snap (which I'm *just* over the poverty line). It's terrifying because I feel like my mental and physical health have been sabotaged through an outlet I thought was going to make me better. I don't have weight food throughout the week to prepare me for my job. My bosses are driving me to insanity.

[@ROSE_reddy]

I totally agree with everything here, lol! I particularly don’t like the one that says, everything will be okay in the end which is another version of, it will be alright and I always want to say, how do you know?! I’ve come to also dislike, everything happens for a reason because these days, there’s just too much craziness happening, craziness doesn’t really even begin to describe it! and there’s no real reason for it other than some people are just evil, stupid, afraid, etc.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Exactly! It's good to be aware that "positivity" can be negative in certain situations. Thanks for watching and commenting!

[@joandigregorio9963]

An excellent example of a practical, refreshing psychological educational tip that opens the door to greater wholistic resolution of the sadness, suffering, loss and grief that are indeed part of everyday life. Your approach leads well into personal, in-depth applications of EQ and CBT and so much more for ourselves and in assisting others - spot on and congrats to both of you ! It’s a pleasure to meet you and know we are in the same community -beautiful Broward Cty Fla! Dr Joan DiGregorio

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Thank you for the very insightful comment, Dr. Joan. We should get together for lunch sometime. We love meeting people in our community.

[@qzddzdwx]

👌👌👌👌👌 thank you for doing this huge service to the world !!

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Awe, thank you for the kind words! And thanks for watching and commenting.

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

I just lost a 30 yr friendship to this. It feels like a brick wall went up 🧱 between us. When she started listing words and real life things (reality) that she banned me from saying in her presense" i knew our friendship was over.

[@mbalensiefer]

I try to go through life generally negatively so that I cannot be overwhelmed or caught unawares by Surprise Positivity.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

What it's really about is not suppressing authentic emotions. Not overly positive and not overly negative. Just being true to your emotions.

[@jwerner3903]

Great message and a terrific video -- thank you!

[@ChiefThanos]

Had a roommate start smoking meth in the house around her dog. Sweet girl. It was what it was. It's all trauma so I tend to be very forgiving. Any time I would bring it up to my sister(her friend) I was now the enemy for being able to even say something so negative. Same with my mother. It was very strange. They would use positivity, spirituality, high emotion to shame me for being able to speak negative about someone when I was just observing what was going on. Like it is what it is. No bad no good, it just is so they'd add such more meaning to it. I am starting to see these people as incredible dangers to youth, learning, growth, and society.

[@joseklatter8857]

The body responds well to positivity. Being positive should never mean lack of attitude and procrastination. I mean, counting on the feelings of positivity to resolve things. Positivity should only give you energy to deal with whatever comes at you.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Interesting insight. Yes, we agree, you cannot deny the power of positivity. In this video, we simply point out that there can be a time when positivity does not help the situation. Instead, it makes it worse. In those cases, positivity could be considered toxic.

[@melissas.5020]

yes it does when it is not forced. The human experience is many different types of emotions and energy and none are good or bad

[@marleengarza2023]

Thanks so much for this.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

You're very welcome. Thank you for watching and commenting!

[@Metaphyical0samak]

Thank you for this

[@christopherwarner7300]

I think this is an awesome message and I appreciate the video.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

That's very nice of you to say. Thank you. Have a great week!

[@Adlerjunges83]

thx very much for the so much needed video. I have always had people around me who couldn't deal with my not 24/7-366 positive attitude and and who have all tortured me with their toxic positivity.

[@Adlerjunges83]

....that me me bottling up my emotions. Since June 10th 2020 my bottled up emotions exploded and that destroyed all happiness, well-being of myself and those around in my life. They are hurt to a degree I can't make undone.

[@Adlerjunges83]

@Auspician no not at all... Loneliness in it's hardest way, perhaps 4ever. I am nearer to ... due to... than to... because if it and hospitalization a blink away. Online counceling doesn't help in my case. This time I won't wait until it might be too late.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

So sorry that it is impacting you so negatively. How are you doing today?

[@Adlerjunges83]

@@ThePsychologyGroup not at all as well as I would like. Quite the opposite. And I am dealing w something I can't talk about publicly. As my gut feeling is always right it get even worse tomorrow. Same situation as three weeks ago.

[@upliftinggodspeoplewithnushie]

Thank you for this video 🥰🙏🏽

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

You're welcome! Thank you for watching and commenting!

[@DimaDesu]

Really good. Thanks.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Thank you so much for the kind words!

[@catalinage1894]

Thank you so much for this video! I am a (very) positive person and beeing positive with myself truly works for me; it has made me come a long way. Is it still toxic positivity if you just practice it with yourself and it works out?

[@BrianDonato]

I appreciate the message - Embodying the right form of positivity is so important! I discuss this idea in the last video on my channel w/ a parenting focus. I hope videos like mine & this one encourage people to really reflect on fostering positivity in themselves. I hope you keep on creating meaningful content.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Thank you so much for the nice comment and thank you for watching the video.

[@xradical89x]

literally JUST got a text that says "everything's gonna be alright"... wtf

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

We hope the situation that spawned that text isn't too bad. If it isn't great, we're sorry. How are you doing?

[@xradical89x]

@@ThePsychologyGroup

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

That's true. We're all trying to do our best and sometimes our best misses the mark. You always have someone on your side with us. Feel free to reach out anytime. If you want to keep it off public forums, you can send us an email directly at [e-mail]. Sorry for the delayed response. A technical error caused us not to get notified when someone comments. We hope we have fixed it now.

[@xradical89x]

@@ThePsychologyGroup thank you

[@aladdinruiz7808]

Embrace it👌🏽

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Totally.

[@richardmeyer1837]

2:10 Yes

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Thank you for watching and commenting! Let us know if you have any questions.

[@richardmeyer1837]

@@ThePsychologyGroup Toxic Positivity Is Gaslighting

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

It can be in some scenarios. More accurately, toxic positivity can be dismissive of true emotions. By the way, we also have an article on gaslighting. If you're interested in reading it go here: thepsychologygroup.com/gaslighting-how-to-recognize-it-and-what-to-say-when-it-happens/

[@konoronok]

humans are flawed, no, humans are not flawed, no, we do not get jealous, we make a decision to be jealous, or angry, or resentful, or greedy, i agree with the toxicity of too positive, but , guess what, try neutral, stay as close to the middle as you can, and always peddle when you have to, and coast when you can, ...... respect the negative, and appreciate the positive ... just an observance ... c'est la vie ...

[@hederahelix622]

I dig on the thicc in white. Beautiful

[@valerie8254]

I really enjoyed the topics covered and think this is valuable information; However, why did that condescending/demeaning line of "just scared little teddy bears longing for a hug" make it in there??? Working in the mental health field it would be nice to share this info, but that does seem to undercut the message of our genuine need for validation and connection.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Thank you for watching the video, we’re so glad it was valuable to you. When I made the comment, "we’re all just scared little teddy bears longing for a hug," it was not meant to be demeaning or condescending at all! The intention was to humorously make the point that behind our tough exteriors, we are actually quite vulnerable, tender, and lovable on the inside (like a teddy bear that you want to hug).

[@ScanTheMan]

no

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Maybe?

[@ROSE_reddy]

Funny that you say, no, when your name has angry in it! You’re one of the ones that most people would speak toxic positivity to😛.

[@umairusman]

Interesting

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Thanks!

[@action23r]

Exactly like you two doing. Are you both are your self, Please put the mask away ladies and be real of your self I suggest you? fake smiles and advertising the sins. Wasted my time. Are you seeking for true? Seek the power within..

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Thank you so much for watching and commenting. It's all about being authentic to your true emotions. There is a time to be positive and a time to just be there.

[@mrsdragonite]

I got that vibe too sadly. It's sooooo easy to see.

[@cyberbob19]

........ said two women who can't stop smiling.

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Not sure what you're inferring here.

[@rikkidgermano9640]

Toxic Positivity?! Rather toxic overthinking!!!

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Never heard of toxic overthinking, but thank you for the comment and thank you for watching!

[@ROSE_reddy]

Overthinking can be toxic especially ruminating but this kind of positivity can be toxic as well.

[@melissas.5020]

when a false positive attitude is used to mask a genuine emotion, it can become toxic.

[@intgrph]

Great Direction- But if you want to go deeper, read/listen to Eckhart Tolle, a great Spiritual teacher. Be- Be beyond name & form/mind. Namaste

[@ThePsychologyGroup]

Thanks for the suggestion.

[@ROSE_reddy]

I had a book by him that became lost.😕