Transactional Analysis Ego States and Transactions

In this video I explain two Transactional Analysis concepts: ego states and transactions. Eric Berne is the founder of Transactional Analysis (TA) and he proposed that individuals have three distinct ego states known Parent, Adult and Child. Each ego state consists of a set of behaviours, thoughts and feelings and reflects a different way we interact with the world and those around us.
🔵 VIDEO TIMINGS
00:00 What are Ego States?
2:09 The Controlling Parent and Nurturing Parent
2:59 The Adapted Child and Free Child
4:32 The Adult
5:08 Complementary Transactions
6:37 Crossed Transactions
8:34 Ulterior Transactions
🔵 THE PARENT EGO STATE
The Parent ego state has two parts, the Controlling Parent (frequently called the Critical Parent) and the Nurturing Parent. When in positive Controlling Parent the parental energy is genuinely aimed to provide safe boundaries and limits with the intention to protect. When expressed negatively it can be over controlling, judgemental, critical and authoritarian. The other part of the Parent ego state is called the Nurturing Parent. When expressive positively the Nurturing Parent can be caring, supportive, protective and loving. When expressed negatively it can be smothering and overbearing.
🔵 THE CHILD EGO STATE
The Child ego state expresses itself through feelings and instinctive reactions. It functions in two distinct modes. For example, you are in your Free Child when engaging in behaviours from childhood that pay no attention to parental rules or limits. Sometimes this can be positive and the Free Child can creative, spontaneous and playful. Sometimes if can be negative and the The Free Child can respond in socially unconstrained ways such as belching loudly at a dinner party or ride a motorcycle at full speed along a busy road. The Adapted Child responds on the basis of internalised social learning. You are in Adapted Child when you behave in ways in which you conform to parental or societal standards. There are thousands of rules we follow about how to live life and be accepted in the world. Before I cross the road I look left and right as my mother taught me. When my husband asks me If I’d like a drink of tea I say “please” as I was taught it would be rude if I didn’t. By replaying these rule following patterns we usually get what we want comfortably for ourselves and other people. We can speak of positive Adapted Child to describe these productive ways of behaving. By contrast we are said to be in negative Adapted Child when we replay childhood patterns of behaviour that are no longer appropriate to our grown up situation. As a young person you may have learned to sulk or manipulate you get attention. Then as a grown up you sulk and manipulate in the hope you will get what you want.
🔵 THE ADULT EGO STATE
The Adult ego state is not subdivided. We class any behaviour as Adult which is in response to the here and now situation using all the persons grown up resources. The Adult is the ego state of rationality and reason. It functions to mediate between Parent and Child ego states. The Adult checks our external world and brings realism and rationality to our internal view.
🔵 TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS
I personally recommend the following Transactional Analysis books:
☐ TA Today by Ian Stewart and Vann Jones: amzn.to/3DoWrge
☐ Transactional Analysis 100 Key Points and Techniques by Mark Widdowson: amzn.to/409yaER
☐ Transactional Analysis for Depression by Mark Widdowson: amzn.to/3JhI15w
🔵 WORK WITH ME
If you'd like to work with me, or a member of the Lewis Psychology team, please click on the links below:
☐ Lewis Psychology CIC (for face to face therapy): www.lewispsy.org.uk
☐ Lewis Psychology Online (for online therapy): lewispsyonline.co.uk
🔵 ABOUT TERESA LEWIS
Teresa Lewis is the founder and Director of Lewis Psychology and a Senior Accredited psychotherapist with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP Snr. Accred). Qualified in 1995, Teresa has been providing counselling and psychotherapy treatment for nearly 30 years. Teresa holds a masters degree in counselling and psychotherapy and is a qualified EMDR Practitioner having completed training accredited with EMDR Europe. Teresa is also a qualified adult educator and an accredited Mindfulness teacher As a recognised expert in her field Teresa is frequently asked to conduct editorial reviews and endorse counselling and psychotherapy books for international publishing houses.
☐ Email: [e-mail]
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[@sakurakissb]

This was very well explained. You have a clear and engaging way of talking and appreciate you taking the time to explain this so well.

[@Amor_y_Alma]

Love how simply this was explained. So clear! Thank you!

[@Akaza-Do]

Thank you so much ma'am this TA gives me the hell now things are clear for me.

[@tristantierney3969]

This is so empowering.

[@LewisPsychology]

That’s great to hear. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@boxbino]

This resonates extremely well

[@LewisPsychology]

That’s great to hear. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@ShonWilsonOfficial]

Subtext of my divorced parents conversation to and about me, "You have to take care of me."

[@eternalreality4346]

Thank you so much❤❤❤❤

[@JonasEricson]

Brilliant insights. Thanks.

[@LewisPsychology]

Glad you enjoyed it! Best wishes, Teresa.

[@oleeb]

I haven't heard anything about Transactional Analysis in probably close to 50 years! My parents were into it in the early 70's and it seemed to be a very popular means of approaching communications and relationships. I hadn't really thought much about it but I suppose its popularity must have diminished over time. Watching the video recalls many memories of my parents using TA in groups. My memory as a kid was that this method was revelatory for many of the adults learning about it.

[@LewisPsychology]

I’m such a big fan of TA, it’s actually my favourite theoretical model. I’ve been using TA for 30 years. It’s great to hear that your parents were using TA in the 70’s. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@yvonnewykes7091]

It has been for me

[@karissasamos2578]

Explained amazingly thank you

[@LewisPsychology]

Glad you liked it. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@elainetaylor914]

Thank You 🙏

[@LewisPsychology]

You’re welcome 😊

[@Luuu_Ann]

Дякую, дуже цікаво, я завдяки вашому відео покращую свою англійську)

[@LewisPsychology]

That’s great to hear. Thanks for your support. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@yoursocialmediaassistant-d1827]

Subbed and liked- actually made me realise the link between parents and my adult romantic relationships, thank you! :-)

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you for your support. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@jared8038]

Great videos thanks

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you so much. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@karenmazzola8758]

❤

[@tonyrabone4668]

How about when the other party refuses to switch to adult and finds a calm rational answer frustrating? What to do in that scenario please?

[@LewisPsychology]

Stay in Adult and avoid playing games. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@tonyrabone4668]

@LewisPsychology thank you

[@TamagoEgg]

​@@LewisPsychologyWhat if the rationality comes from an avoidant that makes it sound rational but just the avoidant tendency being triggered and it's actually not rational?

[@yamanaljamal9925]

🌹🌹🌹🌹

[@greencertifiedweb]

The Sandler Selling System is based in TA. We are taught to come from an Adult Ego State. They say, "leave the child in the car." The way I learned it, the child has a natural state, a compliant state, and an rebellious state. I'm assuming, in this case, the Adapted Child represents the compliant, and rebellious child!? Or has more been learned about TA since I studied it 15 years ago?

[@LewisPsychology]

TA has evolved tremendously over the last 15 years. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@greencertifiedweb]

@@LewisPsychology It's a powerful system, you explain it well... I have a friend doing some self discovery, I referred her to your channel. Best wishes to you too!

[@sabrinaszabo9355]

Who identified an ego state that is be on this in one’s authentic self, where one acts in service to others as opposed to self and understands these driven moods in order to step out? This is the point of meditation, a nonjudgment to step out of the non-duel thinking, observe

[@LewisPsychology]

The idea behind this model is that you are made up of different parts (ego states). When your ego states are in balance you are in good psychological health. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@sabrinaszabo9355]

Is it difficult to apply to one’s self, Will more ego states become apparent as time goes on? Trying to work with JUNG’s ideas simultaneously

[@LewisPsychology]

There are no additional ego states. Best wishes, Teresa.