Trauma bonding in a LONG DISTANCE relationship

Рет қаралды 10,652

Күн бұрын

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Пікірлер: 101

@nataliehelmig920 Ай бұрын

I gave up dating and relationships altogether because I'm a magnet and easy target for narcs. I got so tired of being gaslit, lied to and cheated on etc that I became completely mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted and drained of all my confidence. I've never been happier since ditching dating and I don't regret it for a second. There is a great sense of freedom in singledom and no man will ever ruin that for me again.😊

@naheleshiriki5496 Ай бұрын

Same. I just don't have the patience to maintain a healthy relationship like I used to. After having all of my time, patience, and energy sapped by man-children I can't put in the effort anymore. I consider emotionally investing in a man a high risk endeavor with heavy losses. I tell them this and they somehow see themselves as the rare exception. The one to prove me wrong. Except they don't. I break up with them after a week because I can't put up with even the minor inconveniences of a basic relationship after being deprived of my peace of mind and freedom for so long.

@nataliehelmig920 Ай бұрын

@@naheleshiriki5496 I totally agree. I got sick of being repeatedly manipulated, used and dumped. I just can't and refuse to do it anymore. I've had enough to last me a lifetime.

@naheleshiriki5496 Ай бұрын

@@nataliehelmig920 Get you some pet chickens if you can, it's what I did and it is an incredibly rewarding hobby. They are wonderful birds who are often overlooked and mistreated that give fresh eggs daily. They deserve the love and it can be therapeutic.

@cherylrusso7708 Ай бұрын

Same

@RRthee1 Ай бұрын

Same. I do not have the energy to recover from anyone else's manipulation and lies. It reminds me of the evil folks on Scooby Doo, who would unzip the full body costume they were wearing and finally end up having to reveal themself. I cannot unzip that costume myself, it's on them, too (mostly). I want my peace and happiness to remain un-toyed with.

@sushmayen Ай бұрын

Mostly they live rent free in our mind. Distance will not matter.

@erinward2983 Ай бұрын

EXACTLY!!

@microdosenyc4515 Ай бұрын

The rumination is fucking awful…but it does get better.

@user-gy2uc3rv8r 27 күн бұрын

🌹

@AsToldByBrittanyy Ай бұрын

This channel makes me feel less crazy.

@erinward2983 Ай бұрын

Me too. She knows her stuff. I count on this. She’s gotten me through dark days. We are good people. We try but they abuse us and confuse us “into place.” 👉🏼 Until we find a place like this. We put things together and gain clarity!!! My best is with you on your healing journey. Trust the knowledge you find here. Dr Ramani knows her stuff. Blessings.

@wangcheng3940 Ай бұрын

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago, The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

@bartholetbay412 Ай бұрын

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldn't just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.

@wangcheng3940 Ай бұрын

Amazing. how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

@bartholetbay412 Ай бұрын

Her name is Shelly renee white , she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

@wangcheng3940 Ай бұрын

Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up now online. impressive.

@eph2vv89only1way Ай бұрын

You probably posted here for the same reason I have posted comments not strongly related to videos before. You probably need somewhere to vent fresh hurts and fears somewhere safe and don't know where else to do it.

@deborahswart1718 Ай бұрын

Long distance makes one fantasise abt how to "do better" next time. These unrealistic fantasies are time-consuming and energy-draining and make you forget to experience the present.

@karunas007 Ай бұрын

Good Morning. I WISH to share a great news. After 2.5 yrs after a 2 yr relationship w past narc ex. I focused on healing and listening to your videos and with help of your book. I met someone after diligent healing work. I just got engaged past wknd. ❤❤❤❤❤

@karunas007 Ай бұрын

I have a healthy partner who is Kind, empath like me, and I find such refreshing feeling of healthy boundaries and communication ❤

@paulinecronin2311 Ай бұрын

I did most of my discovery and healing within the relationship before I left it. Today I am in the healthiest relationship of my life. There IS light at the end of this tunnel.

@erinward2983 Ай бұрын

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing. It helps to hear what happens when we get away, working diligently to invest our time and energy into ourselves and healing. We’re resilient and we heal. When we know we matter, and don’t ever deserve abuse, life gets better.

@Victoria_Loves_Jesus Ай бұрын

yayyyyyyyy congrats ❤🎊🍾

@amylynn7415 Ай бұрын

Yes the chase and missing them pulls you to them even more. You can idealize them and they can be so charming living apart and you fall for it.

@humbleheart1000 Ай бұрын

Yes! I was in a long distant relationship with my narcissist father for 10 years as an adult calling him every Sunday. It was a one way relationship always me reaching out to him to keep the connection. I’m almost 50 and just learned about narcissists and found you. So glad I’m healing. I stopped all contact and now re-evaluating every current and past relationship I’ve had with ex’s, friends, my own children…..

@lornajwebb Ай бұрын

Absolutely!! I reckon that Long distance relationships offers a better platforms for trauma bonding because they can so readily remove their communications.

@SloppyJolene Ай бұрын

Yes, 100%. I've lived it for two years, with a covert narcissist. Still recovering.

@daleswain9520 Ай бұрын

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder" (There's myth we can take on) - I can say this is so true and your cognitive thoughts can make you think wonderful things... we Romanize the little things they do and say and their means, which only makes the trauma bond worse. For me, I have had a couple long distant relationships and I actually enjoyed them more when they were far away... they were nicer and kinder and not the arrogant jerk they were most the time in person. However, I was so trauma bonded I hung on for dear life, but I didn't understand trauma bonding back then. One boyfriend even cheated on me continuously when we were apart and even fathered a child and I didn't want to stay but I felt stuck as if super glue was holding me there. My loyal is not always a good thing for me.

@paulinecronin2311 Ай бұрын

The trauma bonding began early days in our four year long distance relationship paving the way for 18 more years of hell when we were finally together in the same place. If I knew then, what I know now.

@Anadrol88 Ай бұрын

Very interesting subject thank you, I got trapped in a long distance relationship with a awful narc

@marconius2020 Ай бұрын

Yes! I'm still stuck in a limerence state and trying to process it so I can move out of it. It's been almost 2 years. Like so many of us, I have such deep attachment wounds along with a disorganized attachment style...lots of healing to do.

@sharishakti9075 Ай бұрын

This video was already released...3 days ago, which is why it's so familiar.😂

@a.leehilliard4716 Ай бұрын

Move on

@LiveFaustDieJung Ай бұрын

I was questioning myself like did I watch this already? Thanks for clearing this up. My memory sucks. 😅

@Wishpool Ай бұрын

YES! I was LD friends with my nex for 5.5 yrs. He contacted me while going through a divorce saying "You're the one who got away." I took the bait and we dated LD for 2 yrs (1700 miles apart). We chatted constantly, so I felt secure, but only saw him 7 nights in 2 yrs. He was the *king of future faking* and had me hooked, until he discarded me for new supply when his divorce was final. It's been 4 yrs since our split and it was the most painful breakup I've dealt with! 😪

@pascalbro7524 Ай бұрын

This video was uploaded 3 days ago. I went back to make sure too.

@user-qv9nw1dq2f Ай бұрын

Trauma bonding is an extremely painful experience and it takes a lot of time and grief to get out of it. Thank you dr Ramani ❤

@MarcosFerreira-yw8jk Ай бұрын

Traumatic (or traumatic) bonds are created when strong emotional bonds are established to connect two people, following an incident in which one person attacks, expresses violent behavior, is abusive, intimidating and threatening. It is an emotional dependence between two people, in a relationship characterized by periods of abuse, violence and power imbalance. The root of this bond is marked by feelings of intense connection, cognitive distortion and behavioral strategies of both individuals that paradoxically strengthen and maintain the bond, which is reflected in the vicious cycle of violence. “I don’t want you except because I want you and from wanting you to not wanting you I arrive and waiting for you when I don't wait for you passes my heart from cold to fire. I want you just because I want you, I hate you without end and, hating you, I beseech you, the measure of my traveling love is not seeing yourself and loving yourself as an ego…”. (PABLO NERUDA - SONNET LXVI).

@LiveFaustDieJung Ай бұрын

I’m so anxious and avoidant at this point. My initials should have been a clue. LDR I only just found out stands for long distance relationship. 😅

@Brooklyn-rj3np Ай бұрын

Realizing my parents destroyed me was the first.step. now in therapy and alone its getting better.

@gailrobinson3853 Ай бұрын

Yes! My mother lives 6000 miles away. Ive been here 2 decades! 😢 So thankful for knowing!❤

@roccocarbone7829 Ай бұрын

When i educated my self about narcissist, my narc. Wife of 12 years she started do more things to create drama but I remained calm then out the blue she said we need to talk she told me she returning to her native country for good, I replied if that is what you wanting I respecting your decision, then she said her flight is in 10 days time and she need to stay in my house until that day, I calmly said no you leaving my house today she start cry and started pack she was angry, I told her what should I do with the rest of hers belong she replayed do what you wanting, I then bring 2 garbage wheel bins in the bed room whatever was left unpacked old and new in front of her I putting in bin while she looking she new it was the real END of 12 years of narcissistic supplying and triangulation, 12 years of hell I been bottle in I hold nothing back at that moment the taxi arrived and off she went out of my life, I am still traumatised my soul is broken I see my psychologist to helping me heal I know it’s long road to go, I blocked her on all social media, phone and her’s fly monkeys too but they or her still trying with new phones number as my cellphone is on silence unknown callers.

@FlyingExplorer2022 Ай бұрын

I was in a long distance relation with my ex, we broke up on January 2023, I am still trauma bonded with them now I still get panic attacks thinking about them. On the other hand she has moved on and now married by December 2023

@cherylsibson2529 Ай бұрын

I think I'm over it.

@amylynn7415 Ай бұрын

Yes! I’ve lived it.

@Victoria_Loves_Jesus Ай бұрын

looking beautiful as ever ❤️

@sportimpactfoundation6506 Ай бұрын

It's in the absence. Distance or not. This is exactly why there are all the mind game bs in dating and why it works so often. Because the less they are actually available, the more you can create of what you want them to be or who you want them to become. (fantasy) When people are actually present you usually can see who they actually are and make a decision on reality. This is a thing that I've seen happen in my own life and others--- not just narc relationship--- all new relationships to some degree. BUT, in narc relationships it is actually meant to be deceptive and to create exactly that dynamic.

@markrichardson937 Ай бұрын

Absolutely yes it happened to me in a long distance relationship

@LGP210 Ай бұрын

In fact, I started to watch Dr. Ramani videos because of two trauma bonded relationships that picked up again after years of no contact, both long distance. In one case, I saw the person again briefly but in the other case, I did not see the person nor ever will, probably, yet the relationship caused me years of heartache and trauma.

@kappyotheshire2561 Ай бұрын

Yes. It happened to me. It was intoxicating even though we rarely saw each other…in the beginning of course.

@christinemunger7054 Ай бұрын

I gave my boyfriend (later, husband) a roadmap for abusing me during our long-distance relationship because I recorded my thoughts and feelings in journal entries which I then sent to him.

@DrTechMedRevolution Ай бұрын

Yes long distance is worst

@remarkable937 Ай бұрын

Yes it can. I'm proof of it

@EliseParadis-km4yh Ай бұрын

I just want to reach out and tell you that you have made such an impact on me and my life. You have taught my friend and I who follow you, SO MUCH over the years and I am forever grateful! As is my therapist because he has admitted that he has learned so much from you through me. I never reached out before because I know how busy you must be. But he wouldnt leave me alone until I reached out and thanked you. So from Megan, Dr Rutberg, and myself...THANK YOU!

@Sigma-jl5fk Ай бұрын

Thank you Dr Ramani. Your videos have empowered and touched the lives of many (including me). And may I add, you are looking fabulous😊.

@rakhil1830 Ай бұрын

Thank you for covering the long distance Narc relationship trauma bonding. It’s been a year now that he discarded me and I am still trying to heal from it.

@MaryWallace-wv2bn Ай бұрын

You are absolutely right

@fruhlingsfrisch6205 Ай бұрын

Such a great video!

@thereallisa1 Ай бұрын

It's the worst kind!!

@brianbrino4310 Ай бұрын

So interesting! Thank you kindly!

@brianbrino4310 Ай бұрын

@Te.le.g.ram_Doctor_Ramani hi Dr Ramani,i will definately get into your programs more and more from now on! thank you for your wonderful continuous effort to help us all! love and happiness to you and your loved ones!

@roorooadventures4771 Ай бұрын

can you do a VIDOE ON NPD AVIODENT ATTACHMENT PLEASE. THANKS Dr. Ramani. Have a great day. you rock😊

@Someoneoutthere67 Ай бұрын

Yes it can absolutely, happened to me.

@yukio_saito Ай бұрын

You make a fairy tale or fantasy when in a long-distance relationship. 😦

@yukio_saito Ай бұрын

Thinking of nonsense like "twin flame telepathy" can be a sign of a remote trauma bonding.

@MasterSplinterPDX 26 күн бұрын

The answer is yes because that shit happened to me!

@antipsikiyatriKizi Ай бұрын

When you're poor they wont give their daugters/sons to you. They won't accept a poor person as an intercessor or give credit to their reference. These poor people are better than the others. And when they speak they dont get listened to.

@deborahswart1718 Ай бұрын

yes.

@elieli9556 Ай бұрын

❤thankyou

@shreyaindia4024 Ай бұрын

You re-uploaded this video... exact same video was uploaded 2-3 days ago...

@erinward2983 Ай бұрын

Yes yes yes

@peterhoekstra2957 Ай бұрын

Sad but true 😢

@sre135 11 күн бұрын

❤ this happenED to me

@user-pq6ob2xx8t Ай бұрын

Yes

@daykibaran9668 Ай бұрын

Hey 👋🏻

@meganlazaro6266 21 күн бұрын

Thank you mam, I am in a long distance relationship now and we had a problem now.i felt that partner is having narcissistic behaviour..based on learning from you, now I all recall what happened from the past until now, his attitude towards me.i only have a question to you mam, if the person having a narcissist behaviour they know that to them self or they aware of that?