Trauma & Gift-Giving (it's okay if the holidays are tough)

[@westcoastweird455]

Proud of you for pulling us close rather than pushing away ❤❤ I resonate with not wanting to receive gifts but like yea I want them! Thanks trauma 🙄😒

[@star13r1te]

I heard something once that made me stop and reconsider my fears that my friends secretly hate me. I can't remember what it was, but two people were talking about that same thing and the friend said something like "that's really mean, that you would think I was the sort of person who would just pretend to be friends with someone" obviously, "all my friends secretly hate me" is not a logical thought, but when I start spiralling into self-loathing that scene pops into my head and makes me pause. I know my friends well enough to know that they aren't the sort of people to just pretend to be someone's friend. It's not a perfect solution, but it often helps me derail that particular spiral. I hope you have the best time you can for the holidays and that 33 truly is a year of love and growth and success

[@sherrylong6251]

I love giving but stress out when receiving - I oscillate between I don't believe in love toward me and the idea that I'll have to 'pay' for it with mistreatment somehow.

[@grindsaur]

Thank you for explaining this. That sort of thing can seem very baffling to those of us who are dealing with different 'flavours' of trauma :) And have a nice and peaceful holiday season

[@kellyblack9868]

Damn, I understand this. Thank you.

[@anneplowman9034]

I have a terrible time receiving as well. It's so confusing. Holidays are hard enough. Stay strong. ❤️

[@Narratorinthecloset]

I remembered KZbin again 😅 thank you for your vulnerability and making so many feel less alone.

[@WendySanchez-lc4co]

I hate receiving gifts because I feel like Im not worthy. My daughter is having a birthday party for me today and I'm freaking out! I don't know how to receive gifts and even though I love every gift because it's from their heart and shows me that I matter, I don't believe I matter myself and I don't know how to react properly when opening gifts. I'm trying to look up proper ways to react when opening gifts. I've always been shy and felt unworthy to receive gifts. One of my grandmother's was AMAZING at giving amazing gifts and they'd touch my heart what shed give me and Id say thank you but didn't know how to express myself. (Like the dry eye commercial guy) One time I was about. 8yrs old and after opening my gift from my grandmother my mom said "Wendy, you don't appreciate anything do you?" That killed me inside because I think I overly appreciate things. If that's possible.

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Just in case nobody has told you: You are appreciative enough, and you deserve the world even when it makes you uncomfortable to receive it 💚

[@jcmauthe]

As your best friend whose love language is gift giving/receiving - I love you so much and I'm so sorry for all the gifts you have gotten from me and will continue to receive in the future 😂💜💙

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

😂😭💃

[@ElvinaRoses-dl2hs]

Thank u for sharing that God bless u I was wondering why I felt that why u cleared alot of things 🙏 I pray for everyone healing WE ALL ARE WORTHY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

[@tinar9930]

Same. Thank you for explaining this 💕

[@SlugcatEmporium]

Happy* holidays Gift-giving and receiving is difficult. I worry I will not have the 'appropriate' or expected reaction. I see gifts for others during the rest of year, but when it is an expectation it gets so hard and I end up struggling to fulfill the social norms even if I really, really want to succeed and make people happy. *: ?????? Profit

[@MsArmitage]

I had a similar reaction. Not too long ago. My dad's cousin offered to buy me a dishwasher to make my life better. I have cptsd and am an orphan now. So things are hard. It took me three months to take him up on his offer. As soon as I accepted I was profusely thanking him and crying my eyes out. I have baked so many different cookies to thank him with but now I can't bring myself to invite him to my home because it is so overwhelming. On the other hand my sister gave me a shitty gift card she had gotten for something I didn't even use last year for my 35th. It really broke my heart. I would rather have gotten well wishes other than that..

[@PlanningisFutile]

Yep can confirm I have cried like a baby at surprise gifts 😂😭 it’s ok, your self-awareness will help you pull yourself out of the trauma spiral trenches ❤

[@CanadianMum444]

Hey….🫂…..relate very much to this. I’ve never heard anyone else really explain this before…. But yeah, I’m full up on the trauma train and ptsd party in my head🤯 I never ever ever want holidays to try to happen ever again after this year and the past couple weeks. Intrusive thoughts and fears and anxiety abound. No sleep, I think you likely understand well. It is always sad to me that there are so many other ppl going through such pain as myself. I get the “helpful to know it isn’t unique to me” and other ppl get it but …ahh babbling. This was only the fifth most awful time in my adult years at Christmas (don’t have a positive reference at all from 0-21) and new years. In the past 2 weeks, we lost my mum in law, almost my son, and my dad on Jan.3. I already have had it for 2023. I am desperate to begin therapy hopefully by the end of the month to see if EMDR therapy can begin to alleviate even some of this extreme thing I’ve been experiencing where I can’t get my heart under 100 beats a minute. Since Jan.2. I have felt in constant fear and dread. Another wedding anniversary in a couple weeks that won’t be celebrated…..guess it’s my fault for getting married in January living where we do too…..freaking snow and ice this year…🤨 I just wanted something good to look forward to in January, and we’ve never spent a single night away from our kids nor did we honeymoon. Last Jan we planned a very fast 18 hr trip one hour away and got a huge storm 24 hrs before and had to cancel. Just not meant to be my head tells me. No more expectations or hoping for positives. Argh. I think this is over sharing on my part. I hope it’s relevant and safe….Not sure. Being in a weird place trying to distract from pain and grief and it’s 5:06 am here and it’s night 6 with zero sleep. Can one keep doing this with only passing out for a 40 minute nap between 10am &2pm every 48hrs…without brain injury?!? Thankfully KZbin and Advil exist but man… ((((Kelela))))) I hear you loud and clear and I hope and wish for this to be your year too.💜 Kimberly