Trauma, Triggers and Emotional Dysregulation: 10 Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System w/ Anna Runkle

Check out Anna's Daily Practice to self-regulate when triggered here: crappychildhoodfairy.com/lp/d...
Trauma has a massive impact on your nervous system and when you're triggered, it's hard to think clearly, it's stressful and it impacts your ability to function and your relationships.
Anna Runkle, aka Crappy Childhood Fairy, has a history of Childhood Trauma, abuse and CPTSD, but she has over 20 years of healing and teaching others the techniques that work for her to calm down when triggered by trauma.
Emotional dysregulation is the term therapists use to describe what happens when your brain essentially flips into fight, flight, or freeze mode, some kind of trigger sets your brain into high-alert mode and can make it hard to think. Being dysregulated or triggered can really mess up relationships and a history of trauma leaves some people triggered or dysregulated in a chronic way, but you really can learn to regulate your nervous system using simple skills that Anna teaches in this video.
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In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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[@heartion]

(1) Notice that you're triggered (2) Say "I'm having an emotional reaction" or "I'm feeling triggered" (3) Make sure you're safe (4) Stamp your feet on the floor (5) Take 10 slow deep breaths (6) Sit down (7) Eat something (8) Wash your hands (9) Taking a cold shower (10) Get a good hug Thank you Anna.

[@lunadog71]

Thank you! I'm going to write them down right now, make copies and put them where I can see them, so that I can make them part of my mental tool set.

[@lolamarie3884]

Thank you David - just as I was thinking I’ve forgotten the tips already

[@k.8846]

Thank you David for writing the 10 Points. Thank you Anna for giving a name to the emotional Trigger. Sometimes my nervous system needs 14 days to regulate and i feel shame of my high sensitive. You help me to accept, that is the Trauma and it is a part of me. Next time when the Trigger is activ i will go in the cold shower...and try the other points. Sorry, for my english, my homespeech is german. Thank you so much🙏❤

[@MGUERRERO18]

Thank you David for summarizing Anna's strategies to self-regulate. This video was very helpful. Thank you Emma for having a wonderful guest as Anna.

[@SheenaSpeaks]

Not all heroes wewr capes. Those of us with comorbid ADHD thank you!

[@nau304]

Cold water on neck and hands. And shake, shake like dogs and animals after someone chases them. That's how they release cortisol. It hurts to know how much we have survived but since we are here now, we can make it 💙

[@sirprize5191]

I thought shaking was a trauma response (to release) that only animals had and humans had lost it due evolution. I saw it in TRE ( trauma release exercise. ) Is it different to that? Just shaking still does it? It makes little sense to me. It's just movement, similar to walking, there's no special system of TRE we can activate if you're just shaking. TRE required a specific move to fully tire out a muscle group. Simply shaking still does something apparently?

[@aliciacaudillo3517]

I shake my hands or jump to calm my self sometimes it works

[@amateurmeteorologist7365]

@@sirprize5191 humans definitely still do it but we tend to be taught not to because there's an association with shaking being "wrong" somehow - it's definitely worth a try if your body's okay with it

[@daion1247]

Hey !!!!! It sounds like you’re describing the Hokey Pokey. Thank you. Happy memories 🌈

[@arazemijo9674]

Thank you, this is really helpful. I often find myself trembling uncontrollably after feeling triggered but usually try to suppress it because it's scary

[@moonshineonme75013]

This should be taught in all of our children’s schools!

[@sadistickitten]

I school, my guidance counselor & I used to talk every day. I didn't tell her exactly what my parents did to me (emotional & physically abuse that I got as a kid & even up till 4 years ago when I stopped talking to my parents) but she knew by my behavior & how I was acting all the time. She tried to get me out once but no one believed that my parents were mean. They only saw them as "nice good catholic people" ha! Tell that to my missing childhood! So I went to her every day to talk about my day at school & at home. She was the best lady ever!

[@1browngirl29]

@@sadistickitten reading your comments struck a cord. I counsel in a school and feel joyous knowing you are getting support from a caring individual at school. I hope my students see that I care just like you noticed in your counsellor

[@sadistickitten]

@@1browngirl29 I'm not in school anymore, that was when I was a kid. I'm in my 40s now but the trauma from all my years of abuse are still there

[@sadistickitten]

@Susan Zollinger thanks, I am & will. She was 1 special lady & because of her I stopped commuting suicide. Started to fight for myself & she gave the courage to live every day

[@Compassion3333]

SERIOUSLY!!!! Emotional intelligence is JUST as important!!!! Healthy coping mechanisms too!!

[@erikallauren]

I’ve been doing this for 6 months and I’m getting better and better in self regulation. Please try it and don’t give up on yourself ❤

[@petyabor5223]

Hello! How are you feeling now?

[@alexandriahutson3391]

This is me. I tend to cry or get angry and defensive when I’m upset because my cptsd causes my body to go haywire even in small disagreements or issues. People see me as over dramatic. Which causes even more tension in relating w others. I learned from Anna that I was dysregulated and it helped alot. I wish they would study BPD and childhood trauma more closely. It’s a really hard line to walk.

[@ashaduplessis2772]

They do and have but it requires research on your part. I've read many books on childhood trauma, the physiological reactions to it,how it affects the brain and CNS,and how it manifest in adults and attachment styles

[@jeanettecarnell8933]

I have had friends complain that they felt like they had to walk on eggshells around me. I am doing much better,but still get panic attacks,anxiety,triggered. Still have a lot more to do.thank you for the info.....

[@tihanaharrison6728]

@alexandriahutson3391 there's a book you might find helpful by Dr Daniel J. Fox called Complex BPD

[@PunnuCooks]

During covid i used to get crippling anxiety and panic attacks because of my father. I used to go to my room and keep my ukulele handy and everytime i was having a panic attack, i would just start playing. Literally anything. It saved me.

[@rw4898]

None of these work for me, except maybe the hugs. The only things that soothe me when I'm dysregulated are: crying it out; taking a hot bath; drinking warm liquids; lying on a heating pad under a weighted blanket. And meds. That's it.

[@bajasbaby]

Thanks to both you and Anna for all you do. I’m 51 and remember family trauma from as young as 3! All my life I’ve had issues, and have been labeled. Rebel, hyper, selfish, offended, the list goes on. I have even scared away a few therapists. Thanks to both of you I not only know why I’ve been this way forever, but how to start fixing it. I just started Anna’s Dysregulation Bootcamp a week ago and I’m so happy. You show me how to deal w/my anxiety and she is helping with dysregulation. I’m so tired of being in my head, it’s no fun. I finally have some hope! I don’t want to just survive, I wan’t to live! God bless you both and congrats on another wonderful blessing from God.

[@sadistickitten]

I had child abuse from the minute I could speak. My parents & sis verbally plus physically abused me as a kid. They mentally used to abuse me till I stopped talking to them almost 4 years ago. I'm better now but the scars are still there. Mother's & father's day are a huge trigger for me. It reminds me what I never had as a kid, what I'll never have as an adult. But thanks to wonderful books videos like this, I've earned there are billions of us who have childhood trauma. So I take comfort in knowing I'm not alone. I hope that you can get through yours & be the person you always wanted to be. ♥️

[@lunadog71]

I'm also 51 and like you I've had issues for as long as I can remember and have had those labels attached to me. But I cannot remember any family trauma and that makes me feel like a fraud. However the reactions I have seem fit the description - I had to stop the video at one point because I was crying so hard.

[@sadistickitten]

@@lunadog71 I cried the whole time but kept watching it. It was so bad, I'm not the type to cry either (my dad would beat me whenever I'd cry so I learned to not cry or cry quietly to avoid beatings) so when I do I'm always like what is this wetness? I just don't cry it's from years of being suppressed as a kid, that I can't cry easily. Even with sad movies or shows. I was abused from the minute that I could speak (technically as a baby too my sis tried to kill me as a baby because she's 5 years old then me & she didn't want to share our parents but neither do I. I was in a playpen to keep me safe till I was 2 years old), sadly I can remember everything but I've worked through a lot of my past traumatic years with the abuse. I was abused by a narcissist mother & abusive father. He beat me while she emotional abused me. My sis did too, she threw me around & hit my head into our fridge a few times (it left a dent). When I moved out in my middle 20s, even after I moved out my mom kept up with her emotional abuse up till 4 years ago when I cut all ties with my parents. I had over 40 years of abuse from those toxic human beings. I don't care them my parents anymore, they're just whom I lived with. I was the slave too, think Cinderella. I did it all & had to do my homework with learning disabilities on top of that. I'm amazed that I survived! I've been working on my past since I had the abuse, found a great book by leo buscaglia called living loving and learning. Changed my life! It helped me get over my past & work on myself while still living with my parents. Because otherwise, I'd be dead (I was anorexic & I've committed suicide a ton as a kid. I also had panic attacks that felt like heart attacks on a daily basis. But I made it through & I'm thankful for every day I'm alive. I wish no kid would ever suffer how I did

[@thnkr0917]

@@lunadog71 i couldn't remember a lot and what I did remember didn't seem so bad, but the more I dig, the more I remember. I started out like you, just recognizing that I had the adult symptoms of the childhood trauma. Then, I start to connect the dots between my current behavior and what I experienced as a kid, that didn't seem so bad, but apparently affected me anyway. Two siblings can have the same childhood, like my brother and I, but one of them simply internalizes the experiences differently or maybe one has a role model outside the family and learns how to work around the family issues. My brother had some outside role models who helped him early on. My mother, seemed to think I needed extra surveillance so I was not allowed away from her very often to find those outside role models, that would have made a big difference. Even so, I feel like my brother's issues may just be buried deeper. Maybe mine being more on the surface is good, because I can work on them. Maybe I am just more introspective and more interested in improving myself in life, so I pay attention to how my childhood affected me more than my sibling. Or maybe he simply found a great spouse and that has helped him so much to unlearn those relationship flaws we got from our parents. Then there is the gender difference itself. It seems to me that females with CPTSD just have less understanding from society. You've heard of the term "girls with daddy issues" and what it implies, well that same behavior in a guy only gets a "boys will be boys" response, doesn't it.

[@jolenepayne1378]

Wow🎉 YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MEEEEEEE! I felt like the only one always labeled from day one by friends and family😢 had no idea what was wrong w me or how to fix and therapists….omgoodness treated me like lazy excuse maker! Alllllll my love to you, all my support and prayers…..screw them ignorants, WERE GONNA GET FREE THEN THRIVE SISTA🎉🎉❤😘😘😘

[@firetea775]

My biggest takeaway from this was that 'a part of your brain has switched off' for rational thinking. I feel this statement alone takes out the intense level of responsibility I feel for being triggered after the fact and I feel less guilty and embarrassed by the intense emotional reactions and behaviours that eventuate. I feel a sense of relief reminding myself that I am not defined by these reactions/behaviours.

[@khansherani]

Emotional dysregulation is a major symptom for many of the mental health issues, depression, anxiety, PTSD, CPTSD, Autism, BPD, Trauma, Asperger Syndrome any help to reregulate your symptom is a big win for all sufferers. More you practice, more at ease you are and less drama in life. Finally with more and more consciousness of your inner sensations, focusing techniques, Somatic Experiencing, befriending your sensations, being more aware of your inner world, hugging your inner child, doing loving compassionate inquiry, doing mindfulness helps you to address your core issue. It looks like too many names, but at core they are same, Feel your feelings and be friendly and in acceptance of them.

[@YatoDharmaTatoJaya]

"Press your back into a corner and hug yourself". This is so sad. First, we can't let out our immediate emotions, then we have to self hug ourselves. I wish we as a society just loosened up a little for a while and just let ourselves be. And had each other to hug us without it seeming like a big encumbrance

[@katsong3302]

For a hug, can use a throw/blanket, wrap tight and it hugs the back . Thx for these tips

[@cmaggie5748]

It's also great to dnue w lots of blankets and pillows

[@lindaainslie8578]

This would have come in handy yesterday. I was triggered in a bad way and ohhhh my... I'm glad I still have a job

[@ashleyjeffers8185]

I LOVE SEEING YOU GUYS COLABORATE! I watch you both independently and resonate alot with crappy childhood fairy. Thank you both for you work! ❤

[@gostrum1]

Ditto

[@raelee1588]

Double Ditto here ! WOW ! Awesome !!!

[@user-ye2ce8vp9i]

1) Notice you are triggered. 2) Say to yourself "I am feeling triggered" or "I am having an emotional reaction" 3) Make sure you're safe. Separate/excuse yourself from the situation or conversation however possible and defer until you are less triggered. 4) Stomp your feet on the ground, say "left, right" as you stomp to ground yourself into your body. 5) Take 10 deep breaths. Push your tongue against the back of your teeth. 6) Sit down and feel the weight of yourself in the chair. 7) Eat a protein-rich snack to ground yourself. 8) Wash your hands. 9) Take a cold shower. 10) Get a squeezing hug or hug yourself. Push yourself into a corner, and wrap your arms around yourself.

[@hippopotamusanonymous1580]

I love that you acknowledge a person with a lived experience, sometimes you have to live it to truly understand.

[@spunkysparks1779]

I think people who have this disregulation are the best at helping others. It's a degree from the school of hard knocks!

[@fascistscansuckit]

One of the worst aspects of this is that you can't predict when a dysregulation event will happen and w/o effective accessible tools, it brings an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness. Helplessness, to do anything about it. These tools are actually useful. Ty.

[@rsi4561]

Anna has helped me more than ANY therapist I have ever had. even the ones with PHDs. she is AMAZING. and REAL. love her.

[@christchaik8317]

I already apply some of these tips unconsciously, so it's great to actually hear them verbalized so eloquently by someone as deeply as empathetic as Anne. Her level of insight and her choice of very relatable words makes her stand out. I don't know a better person on the topic of CPTSD.

[@SongofaBeach2012]

I appreciate videos like this that help me understand how my (many) traumas manifest physically. I just wish there was a way to completely heal from trauma but maybe in my next life I wont be so effed up. All of us have to just do our best and be kind to ourselves and one another. ((Big hugs)) to all my trauma survivors..we're gonna be alright!

[@Krystal620]

It’s wonderful women like you that help woman like me, to survive and thrive! You save lives! So much appreciation for what you two do! Thank you! 🙏🙋‍♀️❤️

[@Healinghandschildcare]

I love the depth of this womens tone and her smooth delivery

[@annabellacrewe8858]

Yes, I still have that ! I am 70' now and cannot afford trauma therapy ! SO I shall listen to You, as well as I've listened to others for several years now !

[@Lissa11638]

🙏💜🙏💜🙏💜🙏💜🙏💜

[@annabellacrewe8858]

@@Lissa11638 unfortunately there is a ptsd I also have to struggle with and comes in the way all the time...It is very expencive to get the right treament !

[@MaricaIvica]

@@annabellacrewe8858 have you tried the daily practice.. and are you spiritual or believe in God. You can read books. But also working with something like hand work painting or learning a instrument, walking... some activity that relaxs you.. I have not much money so I am learning to play a guitar , I paint , Do the daily practice, I walk , pray... it helps but it took me weeks.

[@daniellechekel8866]

"I'm feeling an emotion" or "I'm feeling triggered" and taking a moment to breathe helps! Even minor triggers can be frustrating.

[@reneeelias9514]

OMG! You are speaking to me. I had a nurse many many years ago tell me i was suffering from ptsd after telling her about my childhood. No one before or after ever said this to me again. Thank you.

[@lapislazuliphoenix]

I find it interesting that it sounds so easy to pull out of an argument. Being a people pleaser I feel like that itself isn't easy. Being in a conflict I feel I'm not allowed to leave. I'm glad she gives us some examples of what to say. I also feel I want it to just be over, so it will be hard for me to want to come back to once I've escaped! It takes so much out of me just standing up for myself, I feel I need those extreme feelings before I can act on my behalf. Then to need to basically re-visit the argument/fight without my rage doesn't feel safe! How will I know they care about what I need to say, or will even listen? Conflict is fraught with extreme fear for me; I need to figure out that first. But, I totally love the idea of all my thoughts in a row, or organized so I don't look like some sad idiot in a fight I'll never win, because I don't have the tools, and can't express myself logically when triggered. I hope this makes sense. Any conflict turns on my triggers!

[@ABhattacharya]

I usually say "oh that's another conversation, I will save it another time"

[@ashleyiz2008]

I have dealt with (and I still struggle with) this exact problem. Conflict is very triggering for me and I essentially shut down in those instances. This happened a lot w my past job w my narcisstic boss and senior coworker who both loved conflict and would criticize me even more when I was shutting down. It was hell for someone who already gets triggered w conflict, but I learned that 1) don't be so hard on yourself for not speaking up loudly enough--even a small step where you stand up for yourself by excusing yourself from a conflict is a big deal if you struggle w ppl pleasing. Be proud of yourself when you assert yourself even if it seems small. 2) tell the other person that you need some time to think before getting back to them--and you don't even need to get back to them on the argument! Especially if the other person is not making the argument a safe and productive discussion. You're not obligated to get back to someone if they are being verbally abusive. 3) if you have a good relationship w the person/trust them and the conflict is making you feel overwhelmed bc there is yelling or elavated voices, ask if 'we can talk at a lower volume bc the raised voices is making it hard for you to continue the discussion' hopefully this will help calm the situation and they will respect you, if they don't though, this is a scenario where you should excuse yourself from the convo. I hope some of those tricks help, they helped me a lot. Allowing yourself to not be perfect w "standing up for yourself" really helped me bc I blamed myself for getting walked all over in arguments but honoring the small or imperfect ways in which I spoke up for myself really helped me. I wish you luck!

[@johnorsomeone4609]

So glad that you wrote this. I wondered, how do we handle it when we’re talking to someone toxic? It’s a sad truth but some people (not many, but they’re out there) *want* to trigger you or enjoy it when you are. I don’t know how to comfortably assert myself or even get away from them without losing my cool. It’s a pickle for me.

[@lapislazuliphoenix]

@@ashleyiz2008 Thank you for those tips Ashley; I'll practice saying them. 🙂

[@ashleyiz2008]

@@johnorsomeone4609 you don't need to keep talking to them then. It's hard, because we often a social obligation to continue the conversation, but if they are being hurtful/rude/etc. (and especially if they are doing this on purpose to get a reaction or because they find it fun) remember that you have no obligation to continue speaking with them. If you're in a situation where you can physically walk away, saying 'I gotta go/I have to be somewhere' could work. Or if it's a phone convo or a work/school situation where it's harder to just leave, just excuse yourself to the bathroom. You don't need to stay in the situation; trying to assert yourself w bullies is a setup--nothing you say is going to make the bully back down or stop, unfortunately, many of these bullies like the fight and enjoy seeing someone upset, so getting into it w them only fuels the fire. Sometimes, the best way to "stand up to them" is by totally disengaging from the situation, it's hard to fight w someone who ignores them, don't feel like you have to confront the bully. I know every situation is different, but I hope some of that helps. Best of luck.

[@andrewmcnulty6789]

I washed my hands earlier after partaking in a spot of cleaning and I did notice that I felt calmer, this happened only around 3 hours ago then I watch this video on KZbin - I guess someone really does love me.

[@TYGZus777]

It's really frustrating when I try to be friendly and it's meet with coldness. I feel as though I am really trying to be open, yet so many people see me as not friendly.??? That's where I get triggered and I can't contain my frustration. Then, I get a reputation of being rude, mean, or something along those lines. I don't understand people at all. They all seem to understand each other just fine. My biggest disappointment in life as an adult is the realization that the middle school cliques are the reality for ever, and I'm not invited. I'm a good person. I have a lot to offer, but no one to share with. I wish I understood.

[@77Tadams]

I feel ya so hard. 45 here and I am an alcoholic. I use to try hard but I ruin it all.

[@loribothwell5493]

Don't change or withdraw your friendly nature. Most people are insecure

[@Micah7-8]

Well I can honestly say as one who’s battle a lifetime; learning techniques are very critical in your time of need. If you don’t stop to do something on purpose when you need to do it, then we’re going to lose things along the way. I also appreciate somebody coming in and sharing as well who’s not licensed or has a major degree. Often times I have found it more helpful with those who have walked through it, and experienced it to be the most helpful people in the world! Thank you!!! 😊

[@annaread3829]

Two of my favorite ladies on Utube! You have both helped me so much! Anna has given a name to things I’ve struggled with my entire life!

[@Watashiwaa]

Another near loss almost happened in my family last month and my dormanf PTSD returned. I had no one to talk to so I shared with my coworkers my experiences and feelings. Of course, now I feel ashamed of having said anything. They are NOT people you should be sharing your feelings with looking for sympathy!

[@toriahennesey]

Two favourite youtubers in one video?! Champion!

[@PrincessPineapple92]

Why is it only on KZbin I see caring compassionate understanding mental health advocates / professionals but In my 15 years of suffering and maybe 20 professionals later there is not a single one found!

[@1130Tim]

I am a caring therapist

[@SandyBrookover]

It’s an injury….love that perspective

[@kitcat9214]

Yes!

[@JW-rw8fq]

Emotional dis regulation. “Dis regulated” Thank you (both) for giving it a name, a description, an explanation and a way to get out of it! This is SO helpful! 👍🏻😊☀️

[@GoatGamingCanada]

Only cause I googled, look up "dysregulation ".... I found some interesting resources to help in addition to this! (I have complex PTSD)

[@alexvevo2901]

I feel like I should say this, this brought back a memory where at my old job they FORCED me to continue to work while being uncomfortable in many situations just to get the work completed. With no chance to walk away or voice my trigger. The manager quote said " I was being to emotional and acting like a victim". That karma is going to come back around.

[@annekerotterdam7499]

On your job you were dealing with narcissists. I've been there.

[@annekerotterdam7499]

Boundaries!! Or get another job!

[@nessalight8681]

Yes Ive had this. I had it today. And I recognized it for the first time without having a panic attack. Sometimes to the point of disassociating because its so scary and painful. This video was just so helpful in identifying it. It was triggered by a party I hosted. Being vulnerable or intimate with anyone triggers it. This is a huge reason why I have not had a romantic relationship in years

[@sambailie4773]

I had a dreadful childhood at the hands of my father.... Even now I have feelings come up when I see him.... It's hard....I have to be perfect or I'm useless to him....I'm so glad to know my worth is not in being no1 at everything constantly

[@Chopsyochops]

Thank you so much for this video. I have been using food to settle my state when I am triggered into complex ptsd. I’m going to start trying stamping my feet and washing my hands from now on. I finally have hope that I can lose the weight from stopping the eating to self sooth. Do not eat to self soothe guys. I did and I gained so much weight that it gave me a stroke after 7 years of using food as a soother. Don’t do it!!!!

[@katiegriffin3286]

I was binge eating sugary food.

[@cvermette]

Question: what if family members are the BIGGEST triggers? How does one deal with that? I think that question is worthy of a whole show.

[@lasarelight]

Step back, step back, step back! 💜💜💜

[@nadaahmed3439]

Read a book for Dr Ramani Durvasula has a book called “should I leave or stay” I think it would give you the answer.

[@zion888]

Sometimes we have to remove weight that keep us down and out. We can only fix ourselves, we can't change others no matter how hard we try or want to.

[@Mika-kq1qd]

I love Anna and I love you thank you both for everything you do!! I completely believe that people who have healed their own trauma are the best able to understand with compassion grace and forgiveness what trauma feels like from a mental emotional and physical aspect

[@godzillamanstreb524]

My late husband was like this, but we didn’t have the name for it…..he eventually was diagnosed w/cptsd, unfortunately his body paid the price of years of dysregulation & he suffered a premature demise🎩💙

[@rhondasmith7413]

🥺

[@osamaqtaitat]

I’m struggling with anxiety, fears, sadnesses, physical pains, and despair, having no job, no future, weakness, . I tried consulting therapists, psychiatrists and medications, and nothing works!! I got deathly sick and tired of life! I’m lost, alone, outcast, and desperate! I watched a lot of KZbin videos about my problems, and i found it very difficult, unclear, not specific, complex, and not useful. I don’t have the energy and motivation to do anything!!! Anyone can give me a specific, concrete, clear, simple baby steps to move on. Especially if someone experienced that before, what worked for them and think that it will objectively work for anyone!! I started doing only meditation in my life before 4 days, i do it plain and basic with no complexity, i don’t know if i will benefit from it, or if I’m doing it the exact accurate way!!!! And i do absolutely nothing more besides that. Lazy, sad, anxious, afraid, desperate!!!!! I get sick of life!!!!

[@korigocrazy2262]

Make a KZbin channel talking about your struggle s

[@tihanaharrison6728]

Be gentle, loving and kind to yourself. Start with the very basics of loving self care. Eat well/healthily, shower daily, brush your teeth after eating or at least twice a day. Write a journal of your thoughts and feelings, spend time in nature as often as you can. Above all be living, gentle and kind to yourself. I felt that before. What got me out the black hole of despair were books: Dying to be me by Anita Moorjani, Embraced by the Light by Betty J Eadie. Cold showers might help regulate your nervous system. Good luck... I hope you find the inner peace you so desparately need.

[@Leslie25525]

Check out integrityminitriesofgod1

[@chakaylaaustin8808]

God bless you. I can finally start my healing journey from Childhood PTSD and emotional dysregulation. Thank you God for this woman!

[@sieunpark3436]

Noticing whether I am triggered was not easy in the beginning. When I noticed it, it was already hard to get out of the situation making me triggered. I made a time to sit down to think about the situation making me triggered and had something to eat, and I realized that I am changed, not others. My behavior makes a difference!

[@GoatGamingCanada]

Congrats to you and your family on the new little one!!! Hope all is well, and thanks once again for a great video!

[@kumaranpillay5305]

Have a teenager of 17 years with a diagnosis of Autism . Who can self regulate. Thank God. This content is brilliant. Gives us a better understanding to be more sensitve to heal each other.

[@jmc8076]

He’s ahead of many adults. No doubt from lots of love and support. He and you may like Sleep Cove’s bedtime stories w/soothing Brit accent. Husb’s friends have two adult autistic sons 30ish. They both have good jobs w/govt (repetitive tasks) and share a condo. Ones a bit older and higher functioning so he drives and helps the younger. Parents phone weekly and visit often but not too often. Husb says they were raised as abled not dis/abled and yes with some specific resources. ✌️

[@mrandersong1]

She’s on point. Not only childhood trauma but religion does too. It’s to where u sense threats and all the time and causes a wide range of mental illness. I’m lucky to be alive because of these two reasons. Constant work to overcome them.

[@thefuzzfactor2989]

I don't know what religion you refer to but I think it would be very helpful if you could get that ironed out and it should be free unless it was a cult. I find that my religion helps me a lot.

[@Godfailedyoustophumpinghisleg]

​@@thefuzzfactor2989The illusion of a positive force emanating through the universe is a nice thought, but what is religion really good for if you already have a fundamental belief of the good that humanity is capable while reconciling their current and past terrible behavior. Religion seems like a cop out for needing a positive authority when there isn't one. There is no God other than the self, and the self can be a cruel God or a kind God. So if all of us treated ourselves and each other as we would treat God or wanted to be treated by God, what's the purpose of religion needing humanity to subjugate to something rather than to empower us all?

[@sanhara2747]

I very very rarely leave comments. This episode has changed my on life. . I have gone from 0% to 10 million % in 3 seconds for years. Triggered equaled red rage. I now know what has been causing this. I am going to tell my counselor and start working on this.

[@wheathusk2499]

Eating, showering, literally -touching grass, being in nature, taking deep breaths helps. Also writing ur running thoughts on paper and expressing a little bit of that anger by venting may help too.

[@BeautifulDreamerK]

I dealt with childhood trauma when I was in college and took advantage of their counseling. It was my “almost adult free therapy”. It helped a lot with my mindset. I’m not perfect but I’m a better version of myself and will continue to be better. I’m out of quicksand of childhood trauma. Here’s the kicker- I lived with in laws for the past 2 years to save for our house. It was like Re-entering childhood trauma but in another dimension. I realized I was living as an outlaw with narcissistic in laws. Now that we have our own place, I think I need to start going to counseling again but excited for the opportunity to heal

[@Nyx773]

I really hope that in the long run it isn't necessary to spend as much in counseling as you did on the money you saved. Sanity is priceless.

[@sanhara2747]

So happy for u. Anxiety is something else. I get anxious and easily angeredd like rage 😒

[@jmc8076]

Sometimes universe/life tests us and sends the same/similar lessons guised in diff faces and costumes. Dance of life. Two steps fwd one back. Not a race or competition and no finish line. Maybe just more better days if we keep trying.

[@Twinmama143]

@@jmc8076 ❤ yes

[@Twinmama143]

I lived with my in-laws too to save for a house. I don’t know how I allowed that! Plus, he decided to buy out of state and I was in misery debating on this decision. God so much trauma from moving and leaving him in the end.

[@riley-ferguson-]

Very grateful for your channel, and especially for your video today. Myself, I had no great childhood (teen years) at all and now in my mid 30s I’m still trying to process and deal with things. Lots of love and support from Winnipeg,Manitoba, Canada 🫶🏼🌟🫶🏼🫶🏼

[@lolitazavala1879]

Thanks Emma, Anna ..... Anna was fantastic, finally someone talks about this deep triggered adrenaline rush in a way that makes me know they understand how I feel when I say since experiencing trauma from domestic abuse from my ex. Am definitely going to put these tips in action 🆘

[@stephm5877]

Most helpful thing for me was quitting all sugar and caffeine and drinking only water. I also take 5 deep breaths...quick in and slow out 3-5 times per day. Huge difference over time. I still have sugar, but only after an event or conversation or on a day where I'm just at home. If I get anxious before speaking, I just tell myself I'm excited and it helps.

[@RaulSalazar-xe6po]

THX doc, this is great,You are a gentle hand For those that cannot afford therapy

[@javiertorres-bb8lf]

I don't know what happened to me. Since birth I knew evil I was NOT taught. I had great parents that did the best they could with the little they had. Instantly, I was evil. Backstabber, liar, tyrant, trouble maker, jealous, insecure- you name it. I had to battle this insanity my entire life. I did not want to be this way. I was not taught this. At 64, I finally live a decent life.

[@Totalinternalreflection]

I'm 43, the amount of catastrophic thinking, self hatred, anguish at the past I still feel that have totally dominated my life. I've spent most of the last 20 yrs bouncing between trauma bonding and limimernce i think you call it. No one I've ever loved has truly loved me back. It was alway me feeling more from a friendship than was or could ever be there or simply being used sexualy between that ive hidden in my flat using drugs and alcohol to cope. I'm trying to build a life from scratch right now but it's so hard. I'm trying to get into volunteering work and I'm learning to drive and I'm pushed to my absolute limits. I spend so much time crying and feeling like there's nothing in life left for me, and thinking my brain is so broken I can't learn to drive even.

[@annelbeab8124]

How are you now - a couple of months later ?

[@lenas5613]

Thank you Anna & Emma!!!!!❤

[@brigitterose562]

I've been to therapy many times for this exact reason and not one therapist explained this to me. I was kinda left feeling like I was just erratic and it was my fault and I just need to learn how to control myself and get it together. Thank you for this. I feel so validated and much less "crazy" for my reactions and outbursts. lol

[@Devlins10]

I'm starting to think diet is in part perpetuating disregulation in many people including myself. Diet is paramount in conjunction with wonderful videos like these to help us on the healing path.

[@vv9452]

Agree with all other regulating tips… except using eating to calm down! Maybe a cup of warm herbal tea? Beneficial and hydrating, however so many folks I see could benefit more from eating well when it’s a conscious choice rather than a “regulation”. IMHO

[@Jo-lp1px]

What a dynamic duet, I love both of your material!

[@e.malloy7530]

Thank you! This is the best cross over episode!

[@emilyspeakshuman4829]

Emma & Anna, I want to thank you both for continuing to make these free helpful videos! These have been life changing for me & I can’t thank you enough! 💛✌🏼

[@ricerice9437]

So excited to see both of you in one video! ❤️

[@mwoods4810]

Congratulations Emma! I love your teachings. Thank you! Enjoy yourself and your family!

[@veronicaacciarresi3278]

Thank you both so much! 🙏🏻♥️

[@80Vikram]

Thanks a ton for sharing this, god bless you both

[@TheJilayne]

What a great collaboration! I watch both of you ladies, and what a wealth of knowledge and support. We're so blessed to have folks like you share your knowledge and experience with us on this platform. It has helped me so much.

[@cfredz1001]

this is gold! thanks a lot!

[@tierras760]

I have cptsd and this was so validating and helpful. Thanks so much for putting out content like this, it genuinely changes lives!

[@dc9511]

I love you Anna! The force is strong in this one

[@cynthiahoward2285]

Congrats on your new baby! Thanks to you and Anna for all of your help.

[@stickiestfingers2155]

Great team up!

[@aubra_dash]

Awwww!!!! I love watching you both!!!! This is so exciting.

[@ems11388]

Congratulations Emma and family on baby Hazel. I hope her big sisters are so very excited. Thanks for this Anna. Absolute perfect timing to see this

[@kristinmeyer489]

When I get dysregulated, it comes in a terrifying flood that feels completely out of control. I had a panic attack at a temp job once, because the backlog I was in charge of triggered me, reminding me of the workplace situation prior to my seeking temp jobs, where I was mobbed. I filed for stress, expecting some kind of work to learn how to deal with and manage it better, which never happened. So I was triggered by the situation, and terrified, and my workers comp psychiatrist had the nerve to tell me he thought I called him crying and hysterical because I had some imagined crush on him. This was not a regular occurrence. I gave that man zero reason to think such an arrogant, self-serving and baseless thing, while I was hysterically crying and trying to understand what happened to me. I think because of how I've been abused by, and through psychiatry (my narcissistic family has also enjoyed abusing me thru medicalized B.S. too) , with what I've additionally learned about that industry and the non-scientific bases for diagnosis, that it's full of incompetent self serving liars who care about money, not people. I have found a lot of people on this platform who know, and understand stress, and the phenomenon of dysregulation WAY better than ALL the experts I saw, including the one who told me, after meeting with my parents, that they were "narcissistic, emotionally abusive, and (that) the healthiest thing (I) ever did was to move as far away from them as (I) did." Thank you. People like Anna are life savers. Screw fancy degrees which impart LIES for the truth we all NEED.

[@tarasheikhi5936]

lets practice those tricks everyday! might save some lives too!

[@carollizc]

Kids are one of my big triggers. When they're doing stuff that I would get in trouble for, or my siblings would so, and I'd get in trouble for, I react. I tell, I scream, my body feels both cold *and* hot, and then somebody, usually another adult will tell me that I'm overreacting. I'll yell back that no, I'm not, they have to learn to not do whatever, and it spirals from there. Now I know that I can always say to the kids that I need a time out. It works. I walk away physically from the situation, and take those deep breaths. It helps, and now I know why. Thank you.

[@stampandscrap7494]

So glad that you have found a solution to this

[@lolamarie3884]

I love what you all do,all of these free resources and information are extremely helpful and I can’t thank you enough!!

[@sandybowers5085]

Thanks so much for sharing this video with us Emma- I’m definitely going to watch this video again and again! I will also share this with my grown children whom suffer from CPTSD… Also, congratulations on the newest addition to your family❣️God bless your little one!!! How exciting for y’all👍🏼❣️❤️

[@benjamindover4337]

Thank you for these tips Anna. I've struggled with this during job interviews when questions about the past stir up triggering memories and really spoil my mood at that critical moment. I'll think about what you said to better deal with this.

[@debbylou5729]

I'm thinking this isn't true. Interviewers don't have time for listening to crap about your past

[@Jo-lp1px]

@@debbylou5729 Anna is not suggesting for one to talk about their past, but to get back in one’s body like paying attention to your weight on chair and other things she suggested.

[@shyaaammeneen63]

Benjamin, If you have issues of overthinking and anxiety then to feel better reduce negative thoughts. Be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing yourself physically or mentally with others, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly [psychosomatic problems]. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 10-15-20 minutes or more. You can sit or lie down, anywhere-anytime, neck straight and eyes closed. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night --before sleep, when reading, at work, at home, etc with eyes open or closed. Make this a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.

[@l.5832]

@@debbylou5729 Actually, if you've experienced narcissistic abuse in the workplace it IS difficult. I have had interviewers ask me "How would you rate your previous boss?' ("STUPID question....I left there, remember?) They do want you to talk about your previous jobs and perhaps why you left. I had a drunken boss assault me. I don't want to talk about that job at all. In interviews I've had, over half of the interview is dedicated to talking about the past....past jobs, past experience, past education. And we are desperately trying to put away our past.

[@debbylou5729]

@@l.5832 these sound like a lot of weird questions. How would you rate your boss?! There's got to be some clever answer to turn that around. SOMETHING. Sometimes I throw myself on their mercy, like ' I don't think I qualify to judge. I'm sure he deals with with a lot of issues I'm unaware of. '. There, ambiguous, humble and not a lie. Humor is what saved me. I just picture myself in a sitcom......no one would believe any of this shit

[@VenusianLissette]

omg congrats on your new baby!!!🎉 and thanks for the great resources! take care !

[@TorringtonFernandopulle]

Thank you so much !!! for this video and the valuable lessons...🙏

[@deborahbain9915]

Thankyou I had an insecurity scare earlier on and I was overthinking I didn't use my skills feel so guilty

[@nejkas9577]

Thank you for this, it explains so much about what I've been experiencing throughout my life.

[@ashleyhoover5463]

You’re literally helping me understand myself. You’re amazing at what you do. I love your channel. Thank you so so much.

[@lynneparro3088]

That was excellent! I appreciated all of the practical, low-cost suggestions! Thank you Emma!

[@WhitneyJohnson]

Really, really solid. Thanks Anna and Emma!

[@josephmontervino7629]

People like you are the reason my life is saved. Putting the info out about such issues that a lot of people have. Thanks 🙏

[@g.paradise5972]

Oh my goodness! You two are my favorites on KZbin for counseling and therapy. Love the collaboration. Thank you for helping so many. ❤

[@bingsballyhoo711]

Happy Birthing! I watch both your channels and find them really helpful.

[@andreawally4488]

Congratulations on your new baby! You have been such a blessing in my life, and your guest, Anna, gave some useful gems for CPTSD. I love sharing what I've watched with friends who have childhood traumas, like myself. It's harder for some people to sit down and watch a video. Thanks to you both!

[@SelenaSecretShow]

Literally fired up & stressed out today over my headphones getting stolen, my full cup of matcha tea spilling all over my stuff (carpet, white wood table, craft supplies, paperwork, phone, computer..) matcha that took 20 mins to prepare with all the fixings and 4 hours to clean up the mess, then to find my second set of bluetooth headphones broken, and then panicking finding out there's no food in the house at 10 pm at night. I think I have the right to be angry.

[@maribelmontero9902]

Thank you, such important tips!!! It all resonates it helps to know someone understands 🙏🏻

[@Pinkponk5]

Im always so relieved that these kinds of vids exist. Just so much free and deeply helpful info right there. Super appreciate all the work that goes into the creation of vids like this!!

[@ekenechristyike5461]

You don't know how you've helped me .. I. really really appreciate you. God bless you both. Praise God!😇

[@Inprogress_of_newbeginings]

I follow both of you ladies individually and I had to blink twice when I saw this video. I appreciate you both and congratulations on the new baby.

[@heatherhill3]

Thank you for sharing such valuable information I will share it with my family and help me tremendously thank you