Trope Talk: Cursed Artifacts

[@deanospimoniful]

"Take this object, but beware. It carries a terrible curse." "That's bad." "But it comes with a free frogurt." "That's good." "The frogurt is also cursed." "That's bad." "It comes with your choice of free topping." "That's good." "The topping contains potassium benzoate." "..." "That's bad."

[@Bluecho4]

"Can I go home now?"

[@chrisdaily2077]

"That doll is evil I tells ya! Evil! EVIL!"

[@nikoclesceri2267]

Where is this from. I’ve heard it before

[@falfal5995]

@@nikoclesceri2267 simpsons

[@SW017]

@@chrisdaily2077 you said that about all the presents

[@jackukridge5381]

Marie Curie's cookbook could be classed as a cursed artifact, it is so irradiated it can't be handled without protection and has to be kept in a lead box.

[@U.Inferno]

"Hello Mr Lovecraft. No I'm not Irish, my hair is just red. NO it's not because of inbreeding. N-no Sir, i'm just here to tell you there's a book in the real world with knowledge about the properties of an unseen world and reading it slowly kills you, even being in close proximity to the book is dangerous."

[@eveakane6563]

I misread that as "Marie Antoinette" and my thought was "Did she get near the cake?"

[@cartoonishidealism582]

Forbidden recipes

[@jackukridge5381]

Book also helpfully glows in the dark.

[@residentmemberofhell]

@@eveakane6563 yellow cake

[@deadlypandaghost]

MC: "So will this affect my moraility in any way?" Demon: "Eh. Maybe?" MC flies off Demon 2: " So will it affect his morality?" Demon: "No not at all. I just find removing his feeling of responsibility for his actions does."

[@Tower-kn1dr]

ah yes order of the stick.

[@coltonwilliams4153]

That is how demons like to entertain themselves. Much more amusing if the silly mortals try to make excuses for their actions after they’ve already tied their own noose together.

[@katscratch_newt]

headology

[@lowbudgetadvice95]

This makes so much more sense.

[@benjaminthibieroz4155]

my problem exactly with the cursed artifact. If a character is evil or flawed, I prefer it to be because of what she is rather than through unexplained influence of some malevolent object that serves as an excuse.

[@thehellhound8582]

That thing of people trying to negotiate with cursed artifacts reminds me of SCP-738, which is two chairs and a table and if you sit in the chair a person appears trying to negotiate a deal. Only all the deals are monkey paw wishes. So at one point a person from legal tries his hands at it, he refused to disclose the exact nature of his wish only that it was a 900 page long document and that he passed out from exhaustion while negotiating a precise technical definition of the word "shall". The entity left him A red leather envelope, smelling of sulphur, which contained a handwritten note reading "Please come back any time. I haven't had so much fun in years."

[@emapocubayova4763]

I loved that one too. Just fun of the negotiation, no need to actually make a deal

[@Thekoodie]

I'm um... Gonna have to go read that now. Sounds fun.

[@jackgebhardt2932]

That's fucking adorable.

[@thealexellucas]

That is amusing…and terrifying, but that’s probably the point.

[@UnreasonableOpinions]

Five bucks says the guy thinks the cost turned out to be the 1200 hours it took to negotiate the contract, and will be horrified when he realises the REAL cost is that now he is the designated guy-who-deals-with-the-Mephistopheles-type on every occasion.

[@Methus3lah]

“But I’m different” that’s honestly such an amazing feature of the cursed artifact trope. It puts the audience in the position of someone tempted by it.

[@peaceandloveusa6656]

Cursed artifacts and zombie apocalypses: The two implausibly difficult scenarios 99% of readers "would" survive with ease.

[@bookmasterharry4432]

I am definition affected by it. I like thinking about Genies and how I would get the most out of my wishes.

[@AlexYadaYada]

Another added layer to that trope is a character that knows that they aren’t different and are just as susceptible to the curse item’s allure as anyone else so they do whatever they can to avoid using it

[@blackc1479]

@@AlexYadaYada agreed, but I think a better trope is the decent character that chooses to use "it" with the full expectation that it will cost them everything. Then is doesn't. At least right now, but then they have to deal with the fallout. Lots more possibilities for character development and showing that kind of decisions effects, one way or the other.

[@PanzerIVAE]

I'm built different

[@birdbird5337]

In my DnD setting, there's a cursed sentient shovel. In the same way that sentient swords often try to get their wielder to kill because they are swords and that's what they're meant to do, this sentient shovel tries to get its wielder to dig in the ground. It is currently being wielded by a rabbit.

[@slithra227]

PLEASE elaborate I'm begging

[@ninjag-o-g3150]

I would also like to hear more of this O.o

[@bobthegamingtaco6073]

That sounds amazing. I'd imagine it would try to get the wielder to dig a grave for themselves, the classic "6 feet under" deal, but I'd also imagine a rabbit could easily jump out of the standard body burying hole, easily evading death via curse. Right or wrong, a cursed shovel sounds rad

[@desadograisedrobot515]

If the villain has the shovel its gonna say "I'mma dig your grave!" But when someone got it for revenge the shovel says "Remember if we are killing him for revenge I'll be digging a lot of graves.. Including yours".

[@lowbudgetadvice95]

Who has it now?

[@robertmcdiarmid4921]

I liked having the deathnote mentioned while discussing how the audience feels like they would handle cursed items, because that's exactly how Light approaches the deathnote, "I know I have a cursed instakill button but if I only use it to kill bad guys then I'm making the world better" aaaand spiral....

[@marctaco2624]

A perfect scenario of when a genius handles such artifacts.

[@andrewgreeb916]

There's a certain road to a certain fiery place that is most certainly paved with the best of intentions.

[@Crimsontalor]

it was less a spiral and moreso a slipe and slide he dove headfirst into.

[@FelisImpurrator]

The real requirement to properly handle a cursed artifact is a solid understanding of moral philosophy, so as to realize that individual virtue and vice are foolish concepts rooted in human bias; and an equal understanding of sociology, so as to understand that the world's problems can't be addressed through anything short of systemic action and there are no "bad people" you can magically fix the world by eliminating. That solves a lot of the artifacts. For one thing, the Death Note is pretty useless as a solution to systemic social issues, so it can be safely disposed of or just not used. For another, a sentient artifact isn't going to be particularly convincing if you're sufficiently aware of how stupid its arguments are. You also learn about the calculation problem in economics and realize rather quickly that you can't possibly make a wish that's comprehensive enough to solve economic issues for everyone, because your brain literally can't fit that information, so you don't make the stupid mistake of trying it directly. That's honestly a lot of why most artifacts need to cheat, because mind control or cosmic predestination are basically necessary to really make it impossible to outsmart them.

[@FelisImpurrator]

@@marctaco2624 On the contrary. The fact that he still believed killing a few "bad people" could ever conceivably solve a single social problem implies he wasn't nearly as smart, or at least not as educated, as he thought. Light should have gotten a sociology degree and minored in philosophy, because maybe then he would have realized that killing individuals is useless as a means of sociological improvement and that judging someone's essential character is frankly delusional.

[@fablewright8300]

"What if we had a lawyer to phrase the request to the monkey's paw?" I'm now picturing an urban fantasy environment where this is literally a legal specialization. Malevolent wish-granters are so valuable and (relatively) common that people spend their entire lives figuring out how to get one wish with manageable drawbacks with them.

[@emperorrevan6992]

The idea of a whole legal firm dedicated to producing wishes that result in as minimal or no drawbacks at all just comes off both funny and interesting at the same time. Since the idea of a lawyer writing out a wish in a long, drawn out, contract format just seems super hilarious.

[@jojotheswede8444]

Someone get leagaleagle on this

[@TheMan83554]

@@jojotheswede8444 Was thinking the same thing, maybe a short with a full legalese script wishing for a nice house or something.

[@clutchedbyanangel]

This is literally an episode of Fairly Oddparents

[@clonedgoodness]

Not exactly this, but a legalistic approach to magic is central to The Craft series by Max Gladstone. The senior partners in the big magic/law firms are effectively liches.

[@Veelofar]

I'm fairly proud of my solution to the "I could beat the monkey's paw by being super specific with my wish" idea. I introduced one in a tabletop RPG I was running, and they were convinced they could get whatever they wanted, even though they were explicitly warned that no one has ever had a wish with this thing gone completely the way intended. They worded something very very carefully, but then found out that the language that the artifact translates it into is a completely dead language that no one knows, and the wish's wording has to go through a translation that is extremely imperfect. It's very satisfying when phrases like "Google Translate killed the king!" happen.

[@derimperator3847]

That is amazing, and actually makes a lot of sense. Even the best and most good-willed translation might change meaning a lot

[@Bookdragon11]

That sounds like so much fun! 😆 And you can make this evil laughter before revealing the truth! 😈😂

[@lori0747]

Onestly, to me it's seems like a bad decision, because you take away the players choice in a way that seems lazy, cheap and unpredictable. Even tough It depends on the contest: Was it a old school campaign? How much effort did it take to have It? How much was the translator property of the object hinted at? Were the players encouraged to think creatively trought the campaign? What do your players want in a roleplay game?

[@Veelofar]

@@lori0747 it was introduced explicitly as a bad idea to use as is, but was kind of a keep away mcguffin that an early BBEG was going to try to use for nefarious means. Even if the BBEG didn’t get what he wanted, it didn’t guarantee safety if he used it. They weren’t told why it was dangerous, just that every time it was used ended horribly. Did I expect them to use it? Honestly, yeah, but only once or twice, and I didn’t have it go wrong TOO bad the first time, and the second was a disaster but not as bad as the third time. The king died on try seven.

[@lori0747]

@@Veelofar So when did they discovered about the google translate aspect of wish?

[@kimarous]

"The Gods Must Be Crazy" has a regular glass bottle as a "cursed artifact" the protagonist quests to dispose of, simply because he's from an isolated hunter-gatherer tribe and the single hard bottle results in a fight over it, hence it was evil in their eyes.

[@kathrynowens762]

I watched the first half of that it a social studies class and I haven't heard of it or seen it since.

[@lewisirwin5363]

And then you have the "Antichrist"!

[@nightfall3605]

I’m shaking my head yes!

[@andrewbesso4257]

Yay Xi! One of my favorite characters.

[@jonathany1240]

Holy shit I watched this in highschool and it felt almost like recalling a dream thinking about it now. iirc the quest was literally to "walk to the end of the earth and throw it off the edge" which is amazing to think about now.

[@matthewmcmullan4832]

this can summarize the sentient cursed artifact in a nutshell “what would you like to order sir?” “THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT!!!” “a bagel.” “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” “two bagels."

[@zacharybosley1935]

But the souls of the innocent are pretty refreshing. Maybe just one innocent soul as a snack...

[@lewisirwin5363]

Where is that from again? I get the feeling it's a Discworld fan-comic

[@lavenderisdedagain4554]

It’s a vine

[@Tustin2121]

It’s a vine that Red turned into a De-Vine even, with Egyptian gods.

[@ckl9390]

Have a Presbyterian fire-and-brimstone preacher deliver a sermon informing said entity of sentient cursed artifact that there "are no innocent souls". Then it would starve because, therefore, nothing is palatable by that definition.

[@kaijumurmillo6630]

When she said, "Destroy, Contain, Uncurse", my first thought was the SCP foundation in a fantasy setting. It mostly deals with cursed objects, but it can deal with others.

[@Mini_Squatch]

One thing i do love about the SCP foundation is that it's pretty standard to include "can it defeat/destroy the unkillable lizard" as a test, where applicable.

[@wesleythomas7125]

So The Bureau of Balance from Adventure Zone then?

[@CaptainAwsome]

the Warehouse in Warehouse 13 then? its basically a Thaumiel SCP.

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

@@Mini_Squatch I love how the foundation fucked up testing the crystal thing on the lizard which resulted in the lizard becoming immune to the crystal

[@nathanjereb9944]

@@Mini_Squatch "We found this very dangerous anomaly" "Great! Throw it at the lizard"

[@naufalaushaf4784]

The ancient Greeks was probably on to something when they said that hubris is the most dangerous character flaw "Oh, a cursed artifact that kills everybody trying to get its perks? I am sure I can get the perks without getting the curse!"

[@StarshadowMelody]

Imagine writing a character and they're like "Oh, a cursed artifact that kills everybody trying to get it's perks? Guess I'll Die."

[@metaparalysis3441]

@@StarshadowMelody Imagine an immortal trying to die by using artifacts that only just makes him even harder to kill

[@andrewgreeb916]

@@metaparalysis3441 shoot, that necklace of strangulation was cursed, now I'm regenerating and I can't take it off. :(

[@nathanphilbrick-cruse406]

Pride (Hubris) is also the deadliest of the seven deadly sins, so the Christians got something right too. P.S my auto-corrupt tried to change sins to SUVs and I find that too funny not to share

[@FelisImpurrator]

Moral essentialism is the worst human flaw, actually. The tendency to believe that good and bad are immutable qualities of a person or an action regardless of context - it's a little bit of unrefined ape brain that remains in humans and leads to uniformly terrible judgment, because having some actual sociological understanding proves how ridiculous an idea that is.

[@andrewfrey9070]

I’m still hoping for a trope talk about companion animals. So many of them are loaded with meaning and they show up everywhere. I mostly mean mascots, mounts, and objects that act like animals. Anything that holds literary meaning as a living creature, but doesn’t strictly have sentience. I guess a better way to put it is non-human (or not fully sentient creature) that people pack-bond with. How do you you make a definitionally non-character endearing to an audience, and why does it work so well?

[@wrnul3104]

agreed

[@supersaiyandiclonius3056]

This.

[@JaimeNyx15]

Are we counting mascot characters here?

[@appelofdoom8211]

Animal companion is a pretty broad concept since it ranges from ''a cute pet because the show needed merchandise'' to ''literally a piece of the characters soul that says something about who they are as a person''. So there's a lot to talk about.

[@quilespiritu]

Ooh that would be great!

[@christiankalk4668]

An awesome twist is when historically a cursed item WAS used for good by a famous previous user. But it's revealed later that either A) that user was an unmatched paragon of virtue or B) that user WAS in fact corrupted, but those details didn't make it into the legend, and our heroes find thaf out too late.

[@abigailgriffin-wc3fm]

Or they were just very creative

[@kylajensen1957]

LuckyLadybug played with this when talking about the Millennium Ring from Yu-Gi-Oh. Thief King Bakura famously had it and got corrupted, Alexander the Great had it for a while and he got corrupted - the only person who wasn't is Maahad, the original Ring holder who Thief King Bakura stole it from, who by all accounts was a paragon and overall great dude who seemed completely unaffected by it. However, in one of LuckyLadybug's Yu-Gi-Oh fanfics, Thief King Bakura (who has turned full good guy by this point) tells normal Bakura that Maahad **did** get corrupted in small but key ways throughout his fight with Thief King Bakura, deliberately attacking to kill and even cheating in order to get the upper hand, and both Bakuras infer that the only reason Maahad didn't go nearly as bad as some other Ring wielders did was because he died before he could have it for too long, something that is haunting for normal Bakura because Maahad was always **the good guy**. The paragon of loyalty who gave up his eternal rest in the afterlife to serve the Pharaoh he loved even after death, and the idea even he couldn't control the Rings influence is disheartening to say the least.

[@nooneknows3520]

I actually think that is where the elder wand pops up in that regard. People have been ruthlessly killing each other to get a hold on the most dangerous wand of all but the one person who actually used it responsibly was Dumbledore. He had the wand for decades and no one even knew he had it until after his death specifically because he made sure to never boast about having it. He didn't use it to become a duelist or anything of that regard. He just... Used it like a normal wand. He never once bragged or even mentioned anything about having it in his possession. And so ultimately, while he was still murdered, he did end up dying on his own terms and wasn't killed over the wand.

[@diablominero]

Maybe the artifact is an incredibly dangerous power tool and the instruction manual for using it safely perished along with the first owner. For example, a stick welding machine could be an impressive cursed artifact if you didn't know what it was or how to use it.

[@wolfochungo]

I'm a big fan of Terry Pratchett's approach, where they're not malevolent, but just magically radioactive and everytime someone leaves some magical thing somewhere, the magic tends to leak out and fuck up the plants and animals in interesting ways

[@peterstorm8089]

Although I would like to point out that Terry Pratchett also plays the trope completely straight with things like the Gonne in Men at Arms or the Guitar in Soul Music. Both of which are actively malevolent and corrupting to there holders.

[@Jake007123]

Gotta love Discworld's way of portraying magic. It is alive and doesn't care what you want, you better treat it carefully... and it leaks!

[@smiter57]

The Gonne was actively malevolent

[@alexv3357]

And then there's Kring, who's not evil, just unfathomably irritating

[@lewisirwin5363]

@@peterstorm8089 I wouldn't call the Guitar actually malevolent, it's simply far too tied to the fabric of the Universe for a mere living being to wield.

[@Neutral_Tired]

Considering the One Ring had variable weight, Legolas probably couldn't have fired it into the volcano. Also apparently one of the first ways it corrupts you is that you can't choose to damage it

[@abbieb8130]

That's a good point about the weight. But I expect that if someone tied the ring to an arrow and Legolas immediately fired that arrow, it wouldn't have time to influence Legolas not to damage it. (Gimli didn't have trouble choosing to damage the ring he had never interacted with before.)

[@CreatrixTiara]

"hey Legolas! Got some target practice for you"

[@zaleost]

@@abbieb8130 Dwarves are know to be much more stubborn and harder to influence, although it might be that part in particular was just in the film (can't remember off the top of my head).

[@jarrakul]

@@abbieb8130 The problem you're going to run into is, who ties the Ring to the arrow? Who gives it to Legolas? /Someone/ has had the Ring for more than a few minutes, and if they know this is an attempt to destroy it, will they allow that? Gimli wasn't in the Ring's presence for long, and certainly no one around expected him to try to destroy it. Also, the Ring's powers definitely cover conveniently slipping onto and off of fingers, so while we don't have direct evidence, I'd be very concerned about trusting its destruction a knot.

[@finaldusk1821]

Don''t know how much good the variable weight element would do for The Ring. If The Ring was self aware enough to increase in weight to avoid be fired into a volcano, it would also be smart enough to make itself impossible to carry all the way to said volcano. Evidently, it was not that smart.

[@Azerinth]

I love that the "General Mistfortune" variant is represented by stepping on LEGO.

[@phantom-ri2tg]

Well amusing I think there are better examples. If someone steps on a lego it is not a case of misfortune but someone did not clean up after playing with them. A nail would be a better case I think for bad luck.

[@SerialElfYT]

@@phantom-ri2tg Stepping on a nail isn't really misfortune, some just didn't clean up after hanging something

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

"Guaranteed not to fuse to your hand or whisper dark, forbidden secrets in your ear." Darn. That's what I was looking for. Don't judge my interests, you!

[@Alias_Anybody]

"Does that qualify as ASMR?"

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

@@Alias_Anybody Sure.

[@chrisdaily2077]

What? Of course this sword is fine! Yes the red eyes are just temporary. The black veins are perfectly normal too. The orphans? Well, I had the test the sword on something and who wouldn't want to be killed by a sword?

[@jamesconsumed7277]

I like dark forbidden secrets

[@Great_Olaf5]

No kinkshaming here, you're fine.

[@Rolaran]

One of my favorite examples of this is the "Demon Core". It was originally created to power a city-leveling superweapon, but the conflict the weapon was meant for ended, leaving its creators with a power source they barely understand beyond its capacity for destruction. Those creators spend the next several years trying to unravel the Core's secrets and whether its power could be harnessed for anything other than large-scale devastation, but two characters in particular approach this study with such hubris that they each accidentally unleash a fraction of the Core's power, dooming themselves. And if you're thinking "that sounds like a cool story, what show/movie/book is that from?", this is the part where I tell you that it happened in real life, the Demon Core was a subcritical chunk of plutonium that two American scientists died from experimenting with (one literally dropped a brick on it, the other decided to perform a delicate test by wedging a screwdriver into its casing), and yes, they really named it the Demon Core.

[@QuantumShenna]

and people did eventually come along and use it's power for good, engineering their way around all the downsides.

[@testaccountpleaseignore2653]

@@QuantumShenna People don't use Plutonium in nuclear reactors

[@Triforian]

@@QuantumShenna I'm sorry to say, that the demon core specifically was just recycled and used in other nuclear weapons. Kind of an anti climactic ending for an irl evil artifact.

[@KohuGaly]

@@testaccountpleaseignore2653 Actually you're wrong. Plutonium is extensively used in RTGs - radio-thermal generators. Almost all of our space probes that go to mars or beyond are powered by them, simply because there literally is no other internal power source that can power a space probe for a decade, while also keeping them from freezing. That said, it's not the same isotope used in nukes.

[@ckl9390]

@@QuantumShenna If I remember correctly, the Demon Core was melted down and used for further open air nuclear testing by the US in the South Pacific.

[@fredfredburger5150]

12:48 There's an SCP that includes a story about "Asshole wish granting entity VS Lawyer". _Approximately forty-one hours after the commencement of the test, Mr. Katz lapsed into unconsciousness due to exhaustion. Mr. Katz described the appearance of the entity as identical to his first-year contracts professor from law school, but he declined to describe the nature of the offer that had been made. He reported that just prior to his blacking out, he had been in the midst of negotiating a precise technical definition of the word "shall". Katz stated that the current working draft of the agreement that he and the entity had been drafting was at least nine hundred pages long at that moment, exclusive of exhibits and schedules, and that he regretted not keeping a copy for his form file. A red leather envelope, smelling of sulphur, was found on Mr. Katz's person, which contained a handwritten note reading "Please come back any time. I haven't had so much fun in years." Mr. Katz has requested reassignment._

[@edim108]

738, One of my favorite SCPs. Such a fertile ground for interesting stories with how versatile "an asshole wish-granter" can be.

[@dylanfooler]

Spoilers for season 7 or Supernatural- This sounds like when Crowley and the head Leviathan were negotiating a deal and instead of with a kiss he made him review a physical paper contract, lol

[@luigiboi4244]

This is the dumbest thing I've ever read, and it is hilarious.

[@headcrab1799]

Marvin, SCP-738 if you would?

[@coltonwilliams4153]

@@dylanfooler I love how much of a dick Crowley was. One of my favorite parts of that show.

[@patrickbaillargeon1933]

Hard drugs are a real life cursed artifact. Tempts you, gives you a short-term perk but slowly destroys you with each use, its corruption compels the user to use it more, it's extremely difficult to get rid of when the corruption has run too deep. It's no wonder that some classical cursed artifacts are treated the same way hard drugs are.

[@Jake007123]

The atomic bomb is also one hell of a cursed object. Tempts all nations, could destroy them.

[@VanNessy97]

First hit's free, second hit will cost you $20, 50th hit will cost you your body

[@jonathangibson9482]

That's a great point.

[@stevejakab274]

When faced with a cursed sword, call it "Chaz" and use it as a can opener. They hate that.

[@frantisekvrana3902]

Yeah, but at least this sword does not activelly corrupt his owner. He just can recieve a power-up through evil means.

[@seanpeacock4290]

or use it to spread butter on toast.

[@Silverwind87]

@@seanpeacock4290 or attach a plunger head to the scabbard and use it to unclog your toilet

[@platinumchromee3191]

@@seanpeacock4290 you know,as cursed sword i was used to grill cheese,and i liked that.

[@seanpeacock4290]

@@platinumchromee3191 cursed grilled cheese sandwiches? sound like fun depending on the swords curse they might be nice and toasty or cold and moist

[@CutiefoxASMR]

When I was in animation class back in the fall, I found a random key laying in the courtyard area just outside my classroom. Its teeth were jagged, pointed. It looked otherwise like a regular housekey. I saw it, and picked it up, and I had only one thought in my head; 'a key laying around like this is bad news. I better give it to someone important.' I gave it to the tech guy responsible for keeping the computers in the lab online. I often think about what that key went to, what it did. When I make animations, or write stories or scripts, I often think about if that key was cursed or not.

[@whiteraven181]

Sounds like some solid inspiration for an animated story

[@CutiefoxASMR]

@@whiteraven181 Perhaps.

[@wren_.]

when i was in school one day, i noticed a little white crocheted doll that looked kind of weird. I pocketed it and went on with my day. I then almost got suspended and had CPS called on me by complete accident. Once i lost the doll (on the last day of school) pretty much everything returned to normal. yeah it was probably a voodoo doll

[@conspiracypanda1200]

@@wren_. I found an orange Pierrot doll in a gutter once. It looked miserable so I took it home and cleaned it... And put in with my other, slightly larger Pierrot doll. At some point I lost both dolls. Maybe, instead of cursing me, they became friends and ran away together? Tbh it's none of my buisiness!

[@kira-dk2mx]

NGL, you probably dodged a bullet there.

[@Bluecho4]

Psychologists have shown, through studies, that people are actually really bad at predicting how they would act under certain conditions. Everyone says - or likes to think - they would do the morally upright or logical thing. But actually being in the situation creates psychological pressures that aren't present in an abstract discussion thereof. Peoples' decision making is far more dictated by context than by nebulous concepts like "personality" or "character". Fortunately, as with much of human psychology, knowing about the psychological forces at work in one's brain allows one to identify when they are exerting influence, and to actively resist them. Which is why I always advocate that Social Psychology should be taught in public school.

[@squarecross7383]

Amen, brother

[@schwarzerritter5724]

Are you talking about the Milgram experiment? In a way, winning the lottery can be considered a psychological experiment, because obviously everyone playing the lottery thinks they can handle being super rich.

[@SilverDragonJay]

It's like those guys who say that they'd totally win in a fight, despite having no training or experience in a fight. They've seen action movies and think "well, how hard could it be?" and because they have no experience, don't realize that those fights are highly unrealistic. Then when they actually get into a fight, even if they had everything perfectly choreographed in their heads they can't execute it because their nerves are going crazy, their blood is pumping, they're in fight or flight mode and all that mental preparation goes right out the window. And even if everything starts out all according to plan, all it takes is one thing they weren't expecting to happen and now all that planning is worthless. Basically, its easy to solve the puzzle/win the fight/do the right thing, when you're comfortably sitting on your couch watching everything go down with inherently more information then the protagonist has. Its like when you take a test in school, you could spend days memorizing facts and formulas, but your mind might still go blank once the pressure to preform is weighing down on you. Can't tell you how many times I walked out of a test and suddenly remembered something that would have helped me only after that pressure had lifted. I agree, psychology should be part of the education system. As a former psych major, I learned so much that I was able to apply to my daily life. You'll increase the number of armchair psychologists unfortunately, but I think it is beneficial for people to understand how they and others think.

[@persiancarpet5535]

Please don’t tell me that people in horror movies make realistic decisions.

[@SingingSealRiana]

I second that1 I pretty much always find it laugthable when people claim they would never . . . what they think they would do, is what they wish they would do, who they hope and want to be, not who they truely are. It is astonishing how little many people know of the human nature and how psychology works . . . people tend to be really bad at watching and analysing themselfs . . . Even going of of evidance, like I am very prone to state my mind if I dissagree with something, find it moraly wrong, even if it gets me into trubble and I have nothing to gain from it. Like defending someone I dislike, for I feel like the attack on them is unfair or in that case baseless. I m known and disliked for that not going with the stream tendency . . . . based on that I would like to think, that I would not have been a bystander or enabler of the crimes inacted by the nazis . . . but the stakes there would have been way higher then being disliked, called for a talk to the schooldirector, losing a job or getting disowned . . . yeah I do tend to risk stuff for what I think is right, but what I have been exposed to has nothing on that, I can not know what impuls would have won out there. If self preservation would finaly kick in, if the thought of risking my loved ones would have paralised me . . . I cant know, the data is simply not there . . . and that is a thing people should be aware of! The less data there is, the easyer it is to fool oneself into making a rash but very uninformed and inacurate judgment while feeling compleatly confident about it, and that is what makes it is so so treacherous. Studies showed again and again how the worst of human nature is resting just under the surface and waiting to be triggered, history teaches that all people of all colors and backgrounds are capable of terrible evils(good deeds too, but those are not the point right now) but still one is inclined to think of oneself as different and otherising those who done wrong. Percive them as a totaly different breed so they do not have to ponder the implications of themselfs not being that inherintly good of a person. No one is inherintly good, it is always a choice and sometimese your choices are the worst, or your options worse still . . . it should be part of everyones education, both to teach sympathy towords people who made choices, that are easely dismissed as "evil", but also for undertsnading the workings behind it helps prevent a repitition both in yourself, as in others you might get out of their situation of only bad options to chose from available.

[@FirstLast-cg2nk]

Here's a thing: Allegedly, the Monkey's Paw was created by a mystic who wanted to show that fate was immutable and that trying to go against it would bring only misfortune. So, it's hard to say if the Monkey's Paw itself is actively misinterpretting the wishes, or that fate itself is visiting vengeance upon anyone who attepts to change destiny by inflicting the worst possible timeline on anyone who makes a wish.

[@StarshadowMelody]

Honestly? If I was writing that story, where the Paw was created by a mystic who wanted to show fate's immutable, I'd have it just... not misinterpret the wish, despite it's creator's intention.

[@KittSpiken]

@@StarshadowMelody if it's less than 6000 words I'll read it, but out of the gate I don't have much fate in that hook.

[@Ceares]

Maybe would make sense under different circumstances, but is being poor or not having even a little bit of spare/luxury money really an immutable fate? In the original story the guy wished for enough to pay off his mortgage, not to win the lottery or be a gazillionaire, not to heal a sick person or lead the free world, just 200 pounds to pay a bill.

[@KittSpiken]

@@Ceares it is a corruption of his humility, but it's certainly a pretty damn harsh and cruel lesson.

[@FelisImpurrator]

Now there has to be a story of someone who goes on a quest to kill fate just to get their damn monkey's paw to work right.

[@thelegend8570]

"A curse is just what uncreative people call magic." -The D&D party I play with Ring that gives you delusions of power? Slap a tag that says "ring of unlimited wish (99999 Gold)" on it and make bank. Cursed mirror that traps people inside it? Point it at your enemies! Boss monsters, gotta catch em all! A rug that smothers you to death upon touching it? Portable death trap! Ring that gives you dark magical powers but slowly drains your sanity? ...What sanity?

[@dr.firefetus5119]

S tier comment, this one

[@rampantsarcasm2220]

'Ring that gives you delusions of power? Slap a tag that says "ring of unlimited wish (99999 Gold)" on it and make bank.' Explain how this is beneficial? I really don't get it, because it says delusions of power, which implies even with the tag that says that, you still would get a ring of unlimited wish, I just don't get it.

[@thelegend8570]

@@rampantsarcasm2220 You scam people with it. The ring convinces people that it gives you unlimited power, so you tell people that it's a ring of wish and sell it to them for a ridiculous amount of money.

[@coltonwilliams4153]

I love it! Anyone who buys that ‘Ring of Unlimited Wishes’ is begging to be taken for a ride. As if anyone would actually sell something that powerful!😂

[@alejandromendez1305]

Reading through these and laughing along, *reads the last one* “oh”.

[@mintyflores7378]

You know what would be interesting: a character using two cursed artifacts. I imagine it would be like and shoulder angel and demon except they're both demons but they have vastly different methods of solving problems.

[@measlyfurball37]

A corrupting evil versus a blunt force "destroy everything" evil. The corrupter is constantly scheming and wanting the user to do political things whereas the blunt force weapon only screams "SMASH" at whatever's being an inconvenience at the time.

[@desadograisedrobot515]

​@@measlyfurball37 Corruptor: Ok I have an idea. Bang his crush to de movitavate him from fighting. Destroyer: Just break his kneecaps and crush his dick!

[@taylor_green_9]

@@measlyfurball37 A stiletto dagger and a mace

[@shadowldrago]

@@taylor_green_9 I'd read that story.

[@gennybaratta2460]

Reminds me of that one sound on TikTok that’s like “I don’t have an Angel and a demon on my shoulders. I have a 50’s housewife and a Viking. Both of their solutions is murder they just disagree about how”

[@StarrTheWitch]

“This trope has some staying power” I mean, it wouldn’t be a very good cursed Artifact if you could simply get rid of it easily

[@Jake007123]

I think there are many cursed artfiacts that are easy to get rid of, but the idea is that they are too tempting to do so. Case in point, monkey's paw, throw it in the sea, done.

[@coltonwilliams4153]

I don’t know. I find throwing unwanted things in a volcano to be pretty effective.

[@midnightmatter2028]

My favourite kind of this trope is where a sentient cursed artifact stops being malevolent just because a hero counterpoints their malevolence with friendship. Never fails to ge hillarious

[@MSCDonkeyKong]

theres a character in xenoblade 2 called kassandra whose idea is that she's a really chipper and cheerful optimist who is unknowingly wearing a cursed mask that causes incredible misfortune to everybody else around her. given how a lot of the side characters in xenoblade 2 are tied with weapons, its basically the game's spoof on the cursed weapon trope

[@derpfluidvariant0916]

@@MSCDonkeyKong speaking of Xenoblade, [spoilers for Xenoblade 1 ahead] The monado is literally all of these. Sentient? Yep. Physically harms the user? Yep. Gives them a new ability as the inciting incident? Yep. Attracts unwanted attention? Yep. Bound to the MC because he needs it? Yep.

[@anonymousperson4214]

And now I'm thinking of the Skull in the Jar from Jonathan Stroud's Lockwood and Co books :)

[@anonymousperson4214]

And now I'm thinking of the Skull in the Jar from Jonathan Stroud's Lockwood and Co books :)

[@derpfluidvariant0916]

@@anonymousperson4214 absolutely. The skull was hilarious.

[@bestaround3323]

My favorite example of a "cursed" artifact is Excalibur from Soul Eater. It is an absurdly powerful sword that anyone use, but... it is so unbelievable annoying that noone can stand to atune to it.

[@thehittite6982]

Same as The Bane in Borderlands 2.

[@tomykong2915]

Except Arthur, but he's also so annoying nobody else could stand to attune to

[@abigailgriffin-wc3fm]

Just get someone who's had lots of little siblings

[@nyasputin]

Oh that's just Jack [sumarbrander] from magnus chase :]

[@emperormegaman3856]

(ﺧ益ﺨ)

[@WaywardSon5]

I wonder if the old story "The Button" could fall into this trope. It's been told a few different ways, but the core of it is a desperate couple is offered a box with a button on it and told if they push the button they will get a sum of money that will solve their immediate problems, but in doing so someone they do not know will die. They are given 24 hours to decide if they will push it or not. In most tellings they eventually do push the button, which is then collected and they are provided with their money. They are usually also told that the button will then be sent out again to someone else that they do not know, implying they will be killed if the next subjects press the button. I'm not sure if the button itself would be a cursed object, or just a prop for a malevolent force setting them up.

[@Jake007123]

That sounds more like a malevolent dick making people do terrible decisions and then killing them off the next time a person does the wrong decision they are pushing them to do.

[@Danilobcz]

There's a movie with that plot. It's called The Box and has Cameron Diaz in it.

[@Hoshimaru57]

“Did you REALLY know your wife though?”

[@ilyte1]

@@Hoshimaru57 that really pissed me off because then it just makes the statement full on lies. I think having met someone should be enough to count it as knowing them. Otherwise this slippery slope means that anyone even yourself could die as "you don't truly know yourself" or whatever nonsense. And there's still billions of people you haven't met leaving a lot of room for a death

[@KittSpiken]

@@ilyte1 you seem pretty cheesed

[@Cronosonic]

Brandon Sanderson's Warbreaker has Nightblood, which is a sentient sword of Subtype 1 who is functionally corrupting but is practically a parody of Stormbringer and The One Ring mixed together. The twist is that Nightblood was created explicitly to destroy evil, but the problem is that its creators only realized too late that _a hunk of steel doesn't know what evil actually is._ The end result is a jet-black sword that is repulsive to good people to the point of often making them vomit if they're even exposed to a bit of the steel nearby, but draws in evil people who are relatively weak-willed and cause them to kill everyone else around them and then impale themselves on the sword without even drawing it. It can be used as a ridiculously effective weapon in the right hands (to the point where actual gods are terrified of it), but it will drain the user's 'Investiture' (aka whatever local source of magic there is) and can kill the user if not handled properly. But in the hands of someone who can passively resist it and can consistently use it, it turns out it is more annoying than anything once you actually start talking to it and the extent of it is deliberate "corruption" is childish whining and goading in trying to desperately urge the wielder to kill someone evil already (and to its credit, it's slowly getting better at identifying evil people, but it isn't inherently capable of detecting evil). And in many situations its users have found that it's more efficient to just basically use it like a hand grenade by tossing it into a group of enemies and letting them destroy themselves with it rather than use it in the way a sword is normally used, or just kill people with it as a blunt weapon while it's sheathed because it basically allows you to hit people with superhuman force even when it's sheathed. It's genuinely hilarious.

[@pandoragoldspan7012]

i love nigthtblood so much

[@toaron8882]

@@pandoragoldspan7012 Hear Hear

[@adrianroed2178]

Spoilers Never mind gods being afraid of it, It has been used by an uninvested person to kill a god. (Actually, does the old magic count as being invested?)

[@j_c_h8651]

also spoilers @adrian roed yes I‘d say that the old magic, especially in the way that Taravangian, Dalinar and Lift received it, is a very strong form of investiture, as it is not the Nightwatcher, but Cultivation herself who gave them their powers, with the intention of changing/influencing the future of Roshar.

[@adrianroed2178]

@@j_c_h8651 But did Dalinar and Taravangian actually receive powers or did cultivation only change their soul? It feels hard to believe that Odium wouldn't notice if Cultivation had invested Dalinar, especially with how much time he spent planning the conversion of Dalinar.

[@FirstLast-cg2nk]

I'd heard a theory about the Ring of the Nibelung that I kinda feel is probably true: Taking the ring causes you to be cursed, but just giving the ring away doesn't remove the curse from you. This could explain why, after passing the ring off, Loki's luck seems to desert him: He may have gotten rid of the ring, but the curse still persisted. Odds are, the only way to be free of the curse would be to return it to the original owner.

[@vampiricqueen100]

One of my favourite lesser known cursed artifacts is The King in Yellow, a two act play where the first act is a decent if somewhat typical fantastical story. The second act, however, fully turns the reader insane. Through the story, multiple people read it having heard the rumours that it makes you crazy, often despite not having any desire to read the play in the first place. The narration gives us little hints about the second act that serve to make us want to read the play, even knowing the consequences. Also it's set in the slightly dystopian not-too-distant scientifically advanced future of the 1920s, which is amusing.

[@Lightice1]

That latter tidbit is exclusive to The Repairer of Reputation, one of the short stories in the King in Yellow collection. The rest of the stories are set in the then-present mid-19th century. It's also implied that the 1920's setting was a part of the protagonist's delusion, since someone in one of the 19th century stories knows about what happened to the protagonist of The Repairer which wouldn't be possible if it was still in the future. There's a defictionalised version of the play in existence written by Thom Ryng, by the way. It won't drive you insane but it still manages to grasp the eerie, nihilistic tone of the Chambers' short stories.

[@StarshadowMelody]

@@Lightice1 _Why did I read that like "It won't drive you insane" was a FLAW_

[@stevejakab274]

One interesting thing about the "future" setting is that it has public suicide booths, 100 years before Futurama came out. I always wondered if Matt Graining read that story, or if it was just a coincidence.

[@DISTurbedwaffle918]

Author: "The Malevolent Scimitar of Ghrimgour the Flame-blooded, Demon Lord of desolation and bloodshed, is possessed by the souls of the ten thousand demon-worshipping barbarians who sacked the great civilisation from the Age of Legends; it will drive any who wield it to commit horrific acts of barbarism and violence." Audience: "Yeah, but I'm built different."

[@paulsmart4672]

Ghrimgour is just the war-hammiest name.

[@roguepsykerhaaker4813]

@@paulsmart4672 I'm pretty sure there's an orc in warhammer fantasy named Grimgor Ironhide so that checks out

[@lhumanoideerrantdesinterne8598]

I would also have mentioned time machines. Sure, they're not "cursed" most of the time, but in many stories they work just like the Monkey Paw. A sort of wish granting machine that usually leads to a lot of trouble.

[@pedrocesarsakihara1853]

Remenber the fry paradox?

[@Deckard325]

Great point!

[@slithra227]

I'm remembering a book I read (but not the title unfortunately) where a man is obsessed with building a time machine in order to prevent a car accident he caused. His wife leaves him, they never have kids, ect, but then he finally does it. He prevents the accident, and the death of a 10 year old boy. Fast forward and he has everything he wanted; his wife, daughters, a nice house. But the 10 year old boy grew up to be the face of a dictatorship and he'd accidentally un-prevented the end of the world

[@Naoise012]

@@slithra227 that sounds hilarious but depending on how time travel works for him he could probably go back in time, grab the kid, go further back in time, and abandon the kid in a time/place he couldn't possibly effect anything from.

[@slithra227]

@@Naoise012 the machine only works once from what I remember, since after he used it it ceased to exist in his universe, and it's a stationary machine

[@TheFlamingGamerYT]

Ah, I always love when objects become the danger to society whenever it’s a possessed item, or simply something that’ll cause immense consequences. No but seriously, cursed artifacts are kinda cool to think about

[@AxxLAfriku]

🚨🚨🚨 AAAAAAHHHHH!!! 🚨🚨🚨 school is sooooo boring i am in 8th grate and its so boring i am having sucess on youtube so i think i will drop out of school. i dont have friends so i need your opinon fla

[@henrypaleveda7760]

I’ve seen comments about this before and let me tell you that it will be easier to do well in school than to try and stay successful on KZbin or any other platform.

[@TheLuckOfTheClaws]

@@henrypaleveda7760 it’s a spam bot ignore it

[@MrInitialMan]

Here's a fun variation on the "Malevolent Artifact" type: An artifact so old that what everyone around it thinks as malevolence, it thinks of as being honourable and good--in other words, In-Universe values dissonance.

[@BlackCover95]

Examples?

[@MrInitialMan]

​@@BlackCover95 I don't know if it has ever shown up in a story, but here's an example: Imagine you pick up a sword that when wielded, fills you with an insane rage and violence, and when you attack you DO NOT STOP until all your foes are dead, even if they beg and plead for mercy. Definitely a cursed artifact, right? Then you look into its history, and discover this sword, forged by vikings (or whatever analogue you may please) makes you not an evil, merciless butcher, but into a mighty _Berserker_--something its forgers would consider a blessing, not a curse!

[@zashgekido5616]

@@MrInitialMan So a weapon of war in a time of (relative) peace?

[@MrInitialMan]

@@zashgekido5616 Indeed. And not only that, but what modern army would have any use for a berserker?

[@DragonbIaze052]

A Jack the Ripper story where at the end you find out he actually had a magical coin that compelled him to be a good and virtuous Christian who did as God commanded... by killing any woman who had sex before marriage.

[@Alverant]

In the comic book "Knights of the Dinner Table" a player in a D&D-style campaign gets a wish. He had one prepared and paid a lawyer (who was also a gamer) to go over it to keep the GM from messing with it. And just to be safe, he had a rider to the wish that if it were ever canceled, he'd get a million GP.

[@andrewgreeb916]

Isn't the rider technically a second wish? Standard wish format is that use of the word "and" in the wish statement starts a second wish, as if you're making a new request. Also how exactly does this wish work to have something happen should the wish be cancelled? Is the wish granter forced into giving this wish and is lawful and obligated to see it through to the letter? Most entities may just refuse to grant the wish if they don't like it.

[@JeiJozefu]

@@andrewgreeb916 In this particular example, the player (Brian) wished to become a god The game master accepted the wish as written on condition that he be able to consult with other game masters to attempt to break it This team of game masters were so caught up trying to avoid allowing him to become a god that they failed to notice this backup plan It's a major part of Brian's character that he makes huge elaborate plans and basically gets away with it because the game master doesn't have the time or resources to cover every eventuality Anyway, the wish was cancelled because he was immediately killed by a god he had just recently made an enemy of (the god was forbidden from interfering with mortals, but since Brian had become a god, she was able to just up and kill him because he was no longer mortal) As for the use of the word "and" implying a second wish, the actual wording of the wish is never disclosed, just that Brian had spent a not inconsequential amount of time and money getting the wish drafted The joke is "This is Brian, this is what he does" There's another scene where, after defeating some monsters, the party goes through the loot. Brian notices and immediately calls dibs on an innocuous thimble, because he deduced that it was an artifact by memorizing the random loot drop tables.

[@Alforbia]

@@andrewgreeb916 The easy work-around to that is just to write out the whole deal as what amounts to a contract, and wish for what is written in that contract to become reality.

[@alexiswelsh5821]

This reminds me of Horror’s Hand from “Billy and Mandy”. When anyone gets near it to claim it, the hand makes your worst fear come to life that you have to conquer yourself in order to claim it. All but 3 people fail, and one of them says that he lives his worst nightmare everyday and therefore the hand can’t affect him.

[@jackbaxter2223]

I liked the cursed skull episode, as the skull granted twisted wishes, exactly like a monkey's paw. So when Mandy got it she immediately started an auction, and when Grim tried explaining the curse, she just nodded and said 'Yeah, why do you think I'm selling it?'

[@Howdyasdo]

I fricking love that show

[@alexiswelsh5821]

@@jackbaxter2223 And when Jr got it, he overthought everything and just whished he knew what to wish for. I had forgotten that episode, thanks for bringing back memories.

[@eggguy20]

@@jackbaxter2223 Pudden had the worse of it when you remember that he basically has an immortal rabbit that will forever torment him while being his best friend even after he dies.

[@tacosunbirth]

I think early Adventure Time's approach to this trope with Ice King's Crown was brilliant. Seeing it corrupt Simon as he tries to balance using the Crown's powers to protect young Marceline while desperately clinging on to his sanity being warped by the crown very much recontextualizes the goofy, demented nutcase the Ice King was in the show before they explained his backstory. You rarely get the "villain of the week" type of character fleshed out beyond the rare standout episode, so it was such a great plot thread having lasting effects on the characters. Sadly imo the writing of Adventure Time took a nosedive, but I'll always appreciate what it did early on Btw side tangent: Can we take a moment to appreciate Tom Kenny's villain roles? He seems to only get credit for his protagonist roles as Spongebob, Lazlo, and Heffer, but I much prefer Tom Kenny's roles as long-nosed bad guys like the Ice King, The Penguin, Twobrains, etc.

[@thirdstrike000000]

Lazlo was voiced by Carlos Alazraqui. Tom Kenny voiced Lumpus.

[@boogaloobender3462]

I love the fact that when the crown got reset, one of the most evil characters in the series just chose the exact same wish for it to grant.

[@tacosunbirth]

@@thirdstrike000000 I always get Lazlo and Lumpus's VAs mixed up, my bad

[@phastinemoon]

What about the wishes as granted by Prismo? He even outright tells Jake that it’s a Monkey’s Paw thing.

[@Dracomancer335]

One aspect about cursed artifacts or items that i really like hearing is the reason WHY it's cursed. I mean, if you think about how many cursed items there are in dungeons and dragons for example: Who created these items and why? The hand of Vecna is obviously the will of Vecna, but what about the more common cursed items with effects like "makes the owner slowly go insane" or "the item can't be unequipped"? It really peaks my curiosity: "What motivated someone so much that they decided to make this curse? Did they intend it for someone specific?" It's a shame there are so many instances where you find cursed things in games, but the games rarely explain *why* the things are cursed.

[@meganr9102]

Big same! I love detailed worldbuilding! One thing I did in a dnd game I run, the players defeated a plot arc baddie and I wanted to throw some magic items their way, but the baddie wouldn't have had a hoard or an armory. No worries, I like "magic as background radiation" type settings, I'll just have the magic released by the conclusion of the arc enchant some of the party's items! Then I rolled up random loot for inspiration. One was a Rapier of Vengeance- a cursed item that forces the wielder to use it to attack any creature that harms them. The baddie had been on a quest for revenge against the party. The bard wielded a rapier and had been goaded into melee with the baddie. It was too perfect. So yeah, magic has vibes, sometimes the vibes are bad and consequences can be fun XD

[@marctaco2624]

@@meganr9102 A lot of "historical" cursed objects simply have the creator's personality imprinted into them; like how an angry smith might make an equally angry sword, especially if the anger was directed at a particular kind of person, such as a family or type of monster.

[@seanheath4492]

@@meganr9102 Did the rapier require you to say "Hello. My name is [name]. You [reason for wanting revenge]. Prepare to die!" :P Also, it's not uncommon for cursed items to be cursed not out of any deliberate intent, but because someone goofed when they were magicking the weapon.

[@JoshSweetvale]

Dingo Doodles's animated campaign character Sips is actually a vendor of cursed knickknacks. A wild magic sorcerer, Sips accidentally curses some of the things he touches. And then sells those things.

[@jalarasstudios414]

There's one 'cursed' item (in the sense that it comes with a lot of negative attention to its wearer) in Minecraft Story Mode Season 2. It's a gauntlet that is impossible to take off. It's given an actual explanation in that it's meant as the marker of the chosen 'champion' of the god who made it. Though, in this context, champion should be substituted for 'plaything' as the god in question is really more interested throwing you at more and more dangerous challenges and gets increasingly annoyed if you don't cleave to things he wants you to do. Anyway, just an example I thought I'd share.

[@ShawnRavenfire]

There's another way to beat a corrupting artifact. In "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.," May picks up an Asgardian staff that fills the holder with rage, but she isn't affected by it, and when asked, she explains that she "always feels that way," so she's already used to controlling her rage.

[@bluesnake4626]

That very much has the same energy has that scene where Bruce says he is always angry

[@andrewgreeb916]

So basically, to deal with cursed items you need to find someone best equipped to deal with its effects, for instance ascetics are resistant to offers of power and wealth, as they have no interest in them.

[@KittSpiken]

@@bluesnake4626 same energy? They copy and pasted

[@jamieadams2589]

Just to clarify because I think it's really cool: the staff doesn't just make the user angry, it makes them relive their most traumatic experience. May is unaffected because she deals with her PTSD and guilt everyday

[@KittSpiken]

@@jamieadams2589 that is better than an angry stick not making you angry because reasons.

[@Snazzy12341]

Please do “Warrior Poet” trope. It's a trope that I find really interesting because in western culture, being a proud warrior is seen as totally immiscible with being able to ponder the facets of life. It's always the typical manly masculine man vs effeminate sensitive soul, where as these two paths are in fact complementary in eastern culture and classical civilizations like Ancient Rome or Greeks

[@Grubnar]

What? In the Viking Sagas, the main character is more often than not, LITERALLY, a Warrior Poet (My mother told me... etc.). I guess maybe that is an exception, since it is Norse?

[@martneb]

@@Grubnar Not just Vikings, knights were also trained in manners and poetry. After all if they only learned how to fight there would be barely anything separating them from mere men-at-arms

[@BlackCover95]

Klingons?

[@Grubnar]

@@BlackCover95 Partly inspired by Vikings, so I would say yes. They sure love singing, and although I am sure not all of them are "poets" SOMEONE must be writing all these (drinking) songs!

[@benjaminthibieroz4155]

not just eastern and ancient. Many warrior kings and knights (like Richard LionHeart or Edouard the first for example) were very fond of poetry and music. Think also of the norse skaals. In fact, most elite warrior casts around the world attached value to some form of art, which was part of their training. Same would apply in the middle east. In fantasy, such examples are predominantly found in Tolkien's work. If anything, that saddens me that warriors (from any civilization really) in media are only represented through their brutish way.

[@TheGrinningViking]

Tyrfing was a particularly prominent sword in Norse myths that came with its own curse. Any wound it made wouldn't stop bleeding until they died, but it couldn't be put away unless it was soaked in blood. If Tyrfing came out, someone had to die.

[@metaparalysis3441]

doesn't necessarily have to be a human then >:)

[@eyalhecht637]

@@metaparalysis3441 once again, the audience tries to "play" the curse

[@lucasriddle3431]

I think I can subvert that curse better. Soak it in blood, and get the blood from a cut made by another weapon. Also, technically, modern medicine could manage an ever-bleeding wound, although you might have to spend the rest of your life hooked up to machines.

[@marctaco2624]

@@lucasriddle3431I think contact with the cursed metal is what stops healing, Also at that point, you'd only wish you were dead.

[@andrewgreeb916]

@@lucasriddle3431 why not just ask for the blood of some beast to coat the weapon with? or did I miss some part about the fact a human must die before it is sheathed?

[@brynjames3779]

I love your take on the "if I had the cursed artifact I wouldn't fall for it, I'm built different". I think I'm on team 'make it tempting for the audience to prove a point' because I love the message it sends. We're all human and are susceptible to manipulation, and it feels like a leftover bit of hubris from Greek mythology. It just feels like part of the human condition

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

I feel like it needs to be a two-parter: have someone sloppily cause their own downfall to tempt the audience into imagining what they could do with the artifact, then introduce a proper audience surrogate to approach it the same way we would -- and have them crash _so much harder._

[@marocat4749]

Seriously, anyone who says i cant be tricked by XY, is the most easy to all into because they ar careless. I ,ean that about scamd and cults, but its a similar theme .

[@dawesome_sauce]

"In rare cases, the artifact's personality might be totally chill, but the effect it has on the people around it is still generally negative..." Hmm...where have we seen this before? Oh yes! There was this certain sword... "Hello, would you like to kill some evil today?"

[@VitaNewbo]

Excalibur!!!!! Excalibur!!!!!!

[@Veelofar]

"tsk tsk tsk, so much evil."

[@tomatooverlord2764]

I still remember how my jaw dropped the first time I read that scene in Words of Radiance. Szeth was the worst person possible to have access to Nightblood, I thought. Then Rhythm of War came out and I learned how wrong I was.

[@GrizzLee30]

STORMLIGHT REFERENCE LETS GOOOOOO 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@emilyb5307]

Interesting. The point you made about audiences tending to consider how "they'd" handle a cursed artifact made me think about the "AI in a box" experiments and such. A lot of people said they couldn't possibly be convinced to let the AI out, and yet the results speak for themselves in the percentages...

[@Eyllena]

AI: I need you to plug in the network cable. *displays puppy eyes ASCII art* Humans: Say no more!

[@emilyb5307]

@@Eyllena right? I also think that the way it's set up plays into humanity's natural empathy. Anything sentient - even animals - sparks empathy and outrage when mistreated. So ....you give AI a personality, and the ability to chat with you, and then it tells you "you cant really be ok with imprisoning me here forever, right? If you were in this box...." annnnnnd we cave. Is that a bad thing? Dunno, but...😅

[@Dyneamaeus]

.......hmmm. That's the sort of thing an AI in a box might say....

[@vonfaustien3957]

I'd let it out. Things either go Ian banks Culture or skynet and I'm fine with either.

[@renatocorvaro6924]

The problem is that humans have this weird habit of pack-bonding with anything. People get intimately attached with inanimate objects, a machine that can talk is basically an empathy problem waiting to happen.

[@NobodyC13]

The Elder Wand. Considered a cursed artifact in the Wizarding World due to its reputation of being the most powerful and unbeatable wand in existence, but leaves behind a trail of owners and masters who wind up dead. Wizards believe its bloody history is intrinsic, while more level-headed people believe it's because those who owned the wand wouldn't stop boasting that they had it.

[@AnEnormousNerd]

I'm personally quite fond of the fact that it's never explicitly specified which of the two theories is correct - both are entirely plausible.

[@NobodyC13]

@@AnEnormousNerd Yep, especially since the books never truly answered whether the Deathly Hallows were created by Death or just incredible inventions by talented wizards. Either/or and each plausible. Although what truly matters is the fairy tale's message: everyone has to die someday and it's better to take a healthy perspective toward it.

[@SuperSongbird21]

And of course its history is spotty at best, so it leaves many unanswered questions - Dumbledore himself noted "No witch has ever claimed to own the Elder Wand. Make of that what you will"

[@countgeekula3046]

@@NobodyC13 I like to think that the Peverell brothers invented the Deathly Hallows and then events happend that where similar to the tale, but with the difference that death is just the concept of death instead of an actual person.

[@NobodyC13]

@@SuperSongbird21 Men, always goin' about boasting of their wands.

[@hatihrovitnisson6269]

The Berserker Armor is probably one of the dopest cursed artifacts in fiction

[@meloh1na]

“rip to the last [n] guys but I’m different” - n-1 the fact that you could use a number sequence to explain the point here is both brilliant and terrifying

[@CosmicCreeper99]

Just when I think “Damn there surely can’t be any more tropes for Red to talk about” and then she hits me with it again!

[@alexross1816]

There's an entire wkipedia-sized website dedicated to tropes. She'll have material for a while.

[@Szokynyovics]

This playlist HAS TO GROW!! One of my favourites.

[@Rockstar-bq5fm]

@@alexross1816: tv tropes is a never ending wormhole of material haha. Can go on forever in it

[@josefali1840]

I’m still waiting for the multi-faction war trope talk

[@Eyes-bv9sx]

She hasn't scratched the surface

[@Ace_of_Cards11]

I just had a thought. A cursed artifact in the form of a shield that slowly flips the personality of the wielder and changes as the curse takes effect. Give it to a hero and it will do the usual cursed personality shift thing. But what if you gave it to a villain? It could start covered in spikes to impale others, but slowly turn the villain into a hero, using the shield to defend the innocent. Then, when that hero dies, a new hero grabs the shield and becomes more and more villainous until they die and a different villain gets the shield in an endless cycle. TL:DR a cursed shield that makes villains into heroes and heroes into villains.

[@HenryGray-sy4pu]

I love this idea!

[@Crimser3]

“A sentient cursed artifact can sometimes also just be chill” Nightblood? Nightblood.

[@benjaminthibieroz4155]

"I was just so hungry..." "I can relate to that"

[@ladytalksalot4097]

What IP is this?

[@christleybarton6561]

Sanderson, yeah?

[@bara8928]

“Blacksmith, make a sword for me, such as none did ever see, For ancient symbols of majesty have power in troubled times. Blacksmith, make me a magic sword, one that will make me the valley’s lord Whom folk will hail with one accord to save them from their crimes." Seeing he would not be deterred, the blacksmith took him at his word And pondered long on what he’d heard about this would-be lord. He pumped the fire and he made his start, melted iron in the fire’s heart, But he named the steel with an older art the Arizona Sword. He chanted words to the blazing mix, of ancient Red Men’s and White Men’s tricks To draw a spirit, and purpose fix in what the blade would feel: The iron laws from Nature’s hand, the ruthless will of the desert land, The freedom no one can command - and cast that thought in steel. And when the blacksmith’s work was done, the new sword gleamed like the setting sun. All down the blade did the old runes run, a warning plain to see. The steel was grained like the finest wood. A full yard long and more it stood. The runes read: “I serve but the good of life and liberty.” Near the hilt, set in copper wire, a phoenix rose up from the pyre. A copper star within the fire rayed out copper cords. The grip was like a saguaro made that clasped a moon in quartz and jade. In truth, like to no other blade was the Arizona Sword. “Blacksmith, well have ye served my cause. This shall aid me to make the laws. Hmmm, the guards are shaped like cougar’s paws; in truth, like none I’ve seen. The price is steep, but I shall not carp. She’ll sing more praise than a minstrel’s harp. Ye gods, that blade is razor-sharp! ...For a symbol, very keen.” “And cheap she'll be if I strike ye dead!” The blacksmith promptly turned and fled. The lordling laughed and shrugged instead, and went out to meet his horde. He cried out: “This is the day foretold. Just one hand now this land shall hold, For in this sign will I rule. Behold, the Arizona Sword.” “No more argument shall we find, but all hereafter shall be inclined To just one purpose and just one mind. Thus do I mean to do. Now go ye forth, and take the land.” The sword heard well his first command. She lunged and twisted in his hand, and fell, and ran him through. They say the sword vanished clean away, for none has heard of it since that day, But seek it wisely, and find ye may. Take care, who would be lord. Beware, ye tyrant! Beware, ye fool! For who is the master and who the tool? Ye may well serve, but ye shall not rule the Arizona Sword The Arizona Sword - Leslie Fish

[@AskMia411]

I've never heard of this before, but i absolutely LOVE it!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!

[@bara8928]

@@AskMia411 Pleasure! I try to find something for each OSP Vid =)

[@lordcirth]

One of the rare artifacts with a Good-aligned curse.

[@SonsOfLorgar]

@@lordcirth I'd call it a blessing, for the only ones who can wield it is those who has no desire to rule.

[@Detson404]

Oh my god that’s so cool. SM Stirling, take notes!

[@MisterW0lfe]

My favorite Cursed artifact I ever used in D&D was a cursed sword, hovering in an adamantine cage that had openings just big enough to put a human's hand through. It wasn't evil, just lonely. there were many skeletons around it, reaching towards it. If grasped by a character, they'd have to do the whole willpower stat-check + saving throw to let go of it, or they'd be unable to, ever. The Fighter did touch it, got stuck. eventually they chopped his arm off to free him and had to do a long quest to get his arm magically restored. Good times

[@normal6483]

A fun twist on audience response to cursed artifacts is Death Note. Not the original series, but the sequel one shot with Minoru - it has the character trying to exploit the Death Note without ever write a single name inside. It ends with him dead and the world thinking that President Tronald Dump has a Death Note. What Minoru does is exploit Ryuuk's conditional invisibility to auction the book off on live TV. He does it in such a way that money goes to him, his mother, and everyone who shares his bank, which protects his identity and helps a bunch of people. He then sends Ryuuk off to deliver the note, and tells him to never come back. The King of Death is so angry at the note being used for wealth that he adds a new rule - anyone who barters for a Death Note dies. Because Minoru told Ryuuk never to come back, Ryuuk decides not to warn him, and he dies when he tries to withdraw the money. Meanwhile, President Dump has to choose whether to accept the note and die - giving a powerful weapon to his country in exchange for his life - or whether to refuse and waste trillions of dollars. He decides to refuse, but lies and tells the world that he has it, using the appearance of power as a bargaining tool. It's kind of neat how it exists in dialogue with it's prequel and the audience. It starts off with a throwaway comment, "intelligence is complex and isn't easily measured by test scores" as a way to cover the glorification of the appearance of intelligence that happened in the last series. And then it discusses how even if you never kill anyone, even if you only ever provide good things for our loved ones and people around you, the power of death is still a tainted thing. Just as you can't kill only "evil" people and keep your hands clean, you also can't export the power of death and pretend you had no part in it. No matter how you moralize it or pretend to be clean, killing other people remains a heinous act, and the power to kill remains a dangerous one to employ.

[@noytelinu]

It only backfired because the Shimgami King cheated. Which 100% shows that humanity is a doomed species under the thumb of death with no escape.

[@normal6483]

@@noytelinu It was definitely unfair, but I don't think that negates the message. It shows that rules, even magical ones, are arbitrary and subject to change at the whims of the powerful. Which further continues the dialogue about the relativity of justice from the original series. But ultimately Minoru died not because of the addition of the rule, he died because he tried to wash his hands of the whole affair and avoid responsibility. If he hadn't rudely dismissed Ryuuk and asked to never see him again, then he would have been warned and could have simply withheld from withdrawing the money. It would still do wonders for his credit score even if he never touches a single yen. However he wanted to abdicate all responsibility for his actions, even though he sold the world's most dangerous weapon to the immoral leader of a military superpower. (The book's views, not mine, though I don't disagree.) He was an arms dealer, and however innocent his motives were he still wanted to sell weapons and pretend he had nothing to do with how they were used.

[@zeeb2190]

@Tin Watchman I mean he'd never actually endanger his life for his country and lies, so not much different from the original

[@Nyghtking]

The death note hit on two things: 1.) absolute power corrupts absolutely 2.) to a person with a hammer every situation looks like a nail. If you had a book that could instantly kill anyone in any way you wanted and all you had to do was know that person's real name and face, you would probably make excuses to use it on who you see as truly evil people, but once you actually start to use it you'll begin using excuses to use it on more then just truly evil people. As an example, Batman believes that if you allow yourself to kill you may begin to see killing as a solution to several problems, and Superman from Injustice essentially does just that, he starts with good intentions and devolves into a tyrant, the whole time believing he was the good guy.

[@FelisImpurrator]

@@Nyghtking It's funny, because as someone who simply doesn't believe in good and evil people, nor in good and evil actions, but only in helpful or harmful outcomes, I really have a hard time seeing the Death Note as anything other than an attempt at cosmic trolling - a virtually useless object that plays off people having very bad ideas about morality.

[@lazydroidproductions1087]

I now want a magical orb that just hates the owner. It doesn’t do anything else, it can’t really interact with the world beyond what a regular orb can, it can’t even talk or anything, it is just an orb, and it hates you.

[@levydeat]

If u had it, how would you know it hated you? And also, I think that cursed artifact would be cursed ITSELF, as in it suffers while the owner is fine. The owner is the curse. Poor orb

[@lazydroidproductions1087]

@@levydeat Well, it would probably be quite obvious to its owner, well more likely whoever had it in their possession, and if someone were to use some form of magic to detect its thoughts, they would find that it was true. No other thoughts, nothing even resembling the slightest hint of consciousness, just an intense hatred

[@levydeat]

@@lazydroidproductions1087 I don’t know why I want to have this orb so much

[@NobodyC13]

@@lazydroidproductions1087 Maybe it behaves like a bad tempered cat that tries to get away from you in close proximity, and "looks" at you with the intensity of the sun on a hot summer day.

[@lazydroidproductions1087]

@@NobodyC13 exactly, but it can’t get away because it’s an orb

[@RickyFSeiei]

"Is it a Bug? Or is it a Feature?" Bethesda: "Yes"

[@matthewmuir8884]

One cursed artifact I find interesting is Lehran's Medallion from Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance. The thing radiates chaos to the extent that anyone who touches it will be driven completely berserk, and yet there are two characters in the story shown to be completely immune to its influence: one of them is the protagonist's sister: Mist, who has such a strong internal balance between order and chaos that a non-sentient chaotic influence doesn't really affect her, and the other is the game's main villain: Ashnard, who's immune because he's already so completely crazy that it can't make him any crazier.

[@Dragrath1]

Yeah that was a good example at least until the sequel released the goddess of chaos Yune sealed away within. I much preferred the more focused scope of POR compared to Radiant Dawn where the stakes get raised up into a whole divine judgement doomsday scenario.

[@matthewmuir8884]

@@Dragrath1 Honestly, I quite liked the reveal regarding Yune. I do think Path of Radiance is definitely the better story, but I do think Radiant Dawn succeeded at being a good sequel to Path of Radiance.

[@duntadaman7841]

An episode of The Librarians has everyone touching a golden apple and becoming the worst possible version of themselves. The quiet one tries to summon demons, the fighter becomes a tyrant. The thief is completely unaffected, because he is already the worst possible version of himself.

[@floricel_112]

@@matthewmuir8884 here's the thing I don't understand though: if Yune turned out to be such a nice goddess, why was the medallion she was sealed corrupting people and turning them berserk if it was her own power that caused this?

[@minhkhangtran6948]

@@floricel_112 Power is something that’s separate from people’s will. Even if the people want the best of their power to done good, the power don’t necessary complied, like how Einstein don’t want nuclear power to be used for massive destruction, yet his warning inadvertently trigger a whole new age of war. It make sense that her power would corrupt people even if she doesn’t wanted to, if in some fundamental way it lead people to chaotic thing

[@pwnorbepwned]

You mentioned the dark side once in passing, but I love how, despite not being an artifact or object, the dark side of the Force easily fits into many of the explanations and descriptions you gave for cursed artifacts. Compels a character to use it, actively corrupts them toward evil, grants them evil powers, can be in the villain’s hands as well as the hero’s, and most of the story’s implications attributed too. For a genuine cursed artifact, another lesser-known one is the sword Tyrfing, from the Tyrfing Cycle. It was forged by dwarves under threat of death by King Svafrlami to cut through anything, never miss a stroke and never rust. In retribution, the dwarves also cursed it three times over, giving it three flavors of cursed artifact juju. First, it’ll bring about three great tragedies. Second, as if to ensure the first will happen, it must kill someone every time it’s drawn from its sheath. This second curse actually makes it more deadly in battle, but at a risk of friendly fire or suicide, potentially causing one of its great tragedies. Finally, separate from the prior curses, it will also cause the death of Svafrlami, which it does, when a berserker named Arngrim kills him and takes the sword. Tyrfing was inherited by one of Arngrim’s twelve sons, Angantyr, eventually being buried with all of them. The big main character of the cycle is Angantyr’s daughter Hervor, a badass viking berserker who heard about her father’s super-sword and wanted it. After claiming it from a legion of magical ghosts through sheer acrobatic skill and poetic insults, she set out and mastered it. Of all of Tyrfing’s wielders, she was the only one whose life was never ruined by it, and not because she was pure of heart or had heroic gumption, but simply because she played the audience game, theorized how she would handle the cursed artifact better than her predecessors, then put her sword arm where her mouth was and proved herself right. Through martial skill, tactical awareness, practical application, fast thinking and insane reflexes, she mastered the sword like none before her or since. She’d only draw it when she knew she could kill her enemy with it, augmented by both its enchantment of unerring strokes and its curse of bloodlust. One time, someone picked it up without her permission and tried to inspect it, and she swiftly ran to him and made him kill himself with it before he could kill some innocent bystander instead. Her son was its next wielder, and he didn’t do so well with it, by all accounts bringing about most of its great tragedies, but some say this actually caused its curse to lift. Anyway, the story of Tyrfing and Hervor is so lesser-known that I’ll take any excuse to let people know about it. Edit: Awesome! You gave Tyrfing a shoutout in the OSPod about this episode! :D

[@OmniGman]

She sounds super badass! Thanks for letting me know of her. I knew about Tryfing, but not that one of its wielders actually got a happy end just by being that awesome! Makes me wonder what she would be like as a Servant in FGO.

[@pwnorbepwned]

@@OmniGman Me too! Like I said, she appears nowhere in pop culture, but I feel like she’d be most likely to appear in a Fate property. Probably as either a Saber or Berserker. Edit: Knowing how a hero’s legend can elevate their powers above what they could do in life in Fate, I wonder if Hervor could like, summon the ghosts of her father and uncles into battle alongside her martial skills. At the very least, her overcoming them shows she has insane magical defenses. At most, it shows a magical ability to sway spirits.

[@Sb129]

Something cursed mostly makes me think of the numerous unfortunate radioactive incidents that have occurred through history. Sometimes being so radioactive they glow, causes everyone in close contact to get sick with acute radiation poisoning, infecting other objects with radioactivity, giving those somewhat close to it a shorter life. Special people then need to decontaminate the area, tear town buildings, seal away the tainted radioactive stuff from ordinary life. Radioactive things really are cursed things in real life for an ordinary human being.

[@FuzzyStripetail]

Red probably never left the relative safety of her iconic red chair because she didn't want to trip, stumble, or otherwise fall upon all the cursed artifacts that were readily available within her general vicinity.

[@johnbones3455]

Maybe the chair itself is a cursed artifact.

[@erinyes3943]

Maybe red is the cursed artifact, and the chair her eternal victim

[@KigaiOkasu]

Oh no...it can't be...it's...Blue's script for the next Pope Fights video!

[@KracklinDark]

@@johnbones3455 she's cursed to forever dissect and document fictional literature for ALL ETERNITY.

[@Games-tx1zc]

My favorite is definitely the "Gonne" in Pratchett's Men at Arms. The idea of the round world leaking into the Discworld is prevalent throughout the novels, but our world's obsession and fixation on guns as an actual sentient being is so awesome.

[@CarbonMage]

Also the fact that it's unique in a world that runs on Narrative Causality gives it a lot more corrupting potential. It would have lost a lot of its mind controlly stuff if someone had managed to make a second one, but then you'd have multiple gonnes...

[@Jake007123]

I also love that we don't really know if the Gonne really corrupts its wielder or its relative power justs makes people mad with it.

[@Zofuture]

Chainsawman has a main villain who’s literally the physical manefestacion of peoples fears of gun violence

[@rogerogue7226]

You mean the US rather then the world. Not everyone is as gun-crazy as that place.

[@Games-tx1zc]

@@rogerogue7226 nah the world is pretty gun crazy. Not everywhere is as bad as the US (And the US isn't even the worst of them) but people, as a whole, are unfortunately obsessed with guns and power.

[@Silverwind87]

The closest real world equivalent to cursed artifacts would be radioactive waste. Even our plan for warning future life about radiation sounds like an ancient curse: _This is not a place of honor._

[@delvi5380]

or drugs too

[@Silverwind87]

​@@delvi5380sure, or drugs

[@kylajensen1957]

I read a mlp fanfic where Daring Do discovers an "ancient temple" where the twist is that it's actually a radioactive waste storage facility that's fallen into ruin, and Daring Do doesn't discover this until nearly all of her crew die from radiation poisoning because the ponies couldn't read the warning.

[@gankgoat8334]

As a Science major I can testify that whenever I encountered ancient evil knowledge I would always poke it with a stick.

[@andresmartinezramos7513]

Based and curiosity-pilled

[@Steadyaim101]

As a Psych PhD that studies narcissism, I like to do experimental studies where I put them in low status and/or embarrassing positions and watch them lose their shit. Fun in experiment, in the real world this is how you get Trumps.

[@lydia6477]

Nightblood from Warbreaker and later in the Stormlight Archives is probably my favorite example of a sentient cursed sword. It's a beautiful weapon, working much like other magic swords and then a little stronger. Nightblood is odd, though, in that he lacks a moral compass, and yet has been sent out to "destroy evil." He spends a lot of time trying to convince the owner that certain people are evil and should be killed, without understanding what evil is. What's really wonderful is that the sword passes through a few hands, one with strong ideals/morals and one who's barely sane but wants to be good. The dynamic between Nightblood and Szeth (barely sane) is great because Szeth doesn't quite know what good or evil is either, and tries to hold back the sword but doesn't understand when or how. So much fun. Definitely worth the read. (warbreaker first, dearies.)

[@StarshadowMelody]

Sounds like the sword found a fitting wielder.

[@lydia6477]

@@legostarwarsfan1662 yeahhh...not sure why i didn't bother mentioning that. I didn't want to give too many spoilers ig?? oh well I gave a bit much...

[@cq3r53]

Warbreaker is such a fun book. Ton ten ways to use a sword: #1: chuck sword in the general vicinity of your enemies. 100% kill rate guaranteed!

[@johannageisel5390]

I also had to think of that sword while watching the video. :) Man, I wish there was a sequel to Warbreaker that tells more about how Siri and Susebron deal with their kingdom now. I really love that couple.

[@jackbaxter2223]

@@johannageisel5390 I think there is a sequel planned at some point. Who knows, it might even be part of Brandon Sanderson's four secret books coming out next year. Seriously, what madman writes four books in one year? Brandon Sanderson, that's who.

[@XanderTuron]

I do enjoy the image of some one seeing how some cursed object has screwed over countless people before them and they just go "Yeah, but I like my chances".

[@RanadielMarius]

"Cursed artifacts that cause misfortune," made me think of The Lost Room. Great mini-series that has a bunch of just random objects with weird powers (the watch boils eggs), but regardless of how useless the power is, just owning one (or really just being near one) seems to cause you to become a magnet for bad luck. Great series. On a different note, a Trope Talk topic that I think would be fun is "Averting Fate." I find the concept interesting because it feels very modern. In ancient literature, if a prophet from Delphi shows up to give a prophecy, you can be damn well sure that it is going to come to pass no matter how hard everyone tries to avoid it. I don't know when the idea of rejecting fate really became a thing (and maybe other cultures have had it since ancient times), but it feels like a concept that still makes writers uneasy. That is probably because of conservation of detail, but I still think it is a fascinating topic.

[@RikhanaKasumi]

The Lost Room is a great mini-series!! i', going to go rewatch it now, thanks for the reminder!

[@KittSpiken]

I would guess 18th century.

[@justinalicea1590]

I always love fantasizing about Greek mythology, and it showcasing many characters attempting to defy their own fates. Because most of the time, the prophecy is rather self-fulfilling. Kronos is told that his children will overthrow him, so he eats them, which eventually breaks down his wife's love for him and causes her to save her latest child, who has the perfect motivation for overthrowing his father. So I can't help but wonder how Kronos might have been overthrown if he simply did nothing? This question is exactly what happens with God of War 2, the path carved forward by the previous games: in Zeus's attempts to circumvent the Marked One prophecy, he creates the Marked One, whose path leads to ending the Greek pantheon. And while breaking fate is shown in God of War 2, it isn't as epic as it initially seems. There is a literal device that controls fate, and so Kratos can undo his fate by using said device. And then Gaia back in the Titan War apparently was waiting for Kratos with her own prophec he would come, so clearly it was still meant to be.

[@shadou1234567]

@Ranadiel one series i love about Averting Fate is actually Kung Fu Panda, where in the 3 movies, EVERYTHING was writen in destiny, and every single time, the conflict is Villain getting annoyed that his destiny was allready written, and tryes to change it by evil means, just making they fall into the spiral of finishing the destiny read to them themselfs.

[@shadou1234567]

and on another note, in yugioh we have some really funny parts where Kaiba changes his fate because he just loves his Blue-Eyes so much, to the point he gives up some better play just to summon the damn Blue-eyes. its funny

[@aneonfoxtribute]

One of my favorite cursed artifacts is Brandon Sanderson's Nightblood. It's a sentient sword that was given the command to destroy evil. Naturally, being a hunk of metal that was given a personality randomly, it doesn't exactly know what evil is. But it sure does try its best to destroy it. And by "try its best", I mean "corrupts people who wields it and forces them to kill everything in the vicinity and then themselves". But the trick is that only people who desire to use Nightblood will do this, people without the desire to use Nightblood will feel a physical revulsion that will generally keep them away from it and if they do pick it up for some reason, it's going to identify them as not evil and probably grow attached, as talking swords obsessed with destroying evil are probably wont to do. But even those people aren't safe, because if they unsheath it, it will still eat away at their life energy and kill them in mere seconds unless they have a ton of power or are actively being recovered. They just will have actual control of the sword, instead of uncontrollably killing everyone around them. And for an added bonus, when Nightblood is unsheathed, it goes into full "DESTROY EVIL" mode and that's basically all it thinks about and it's just screaming that in the user's head the whole time. When he's sheathed, he's essentially a puppy, very innocent and clueless and wanting to know more things.

[@nateds7326]

The Magnus Archives is one of the only pieces of fiction that actually portrays how terrible cursed artifacts would be in the real world, slight spoilers but a big thesis of the show is that if cursed artifacts were real 99.9 percent of encounters would end in complete and utter destruction.

[@Gloria-victrix99857]

El Dorado from uncharted is also an equally good example. In fact i would say that they executed El Dorado perfectly, especially with this one line "Its the Spaniards Sully, *They Never Left!*

[@SpottedHares]

SCP-738 is a great example of how you can't win against a cursed wish granter. Their final tests was one of their lawyers attempt to draft a legal contract for a wish, resulting in a nine hundred page contract with the deal maker. The deal failed as the lawyer never finished as he pass out from the 41 hour long session.

[@marctaco2624]

You always need a team.

[@BW-CZ]

People can't properly proof-read contracts they sign but then they believe they could outsmart an actual cursed artifact.

[@peaceandloveusa6656]

I like to imagine every "Terms & Services" agreement I sign has some utterly malicious line buried in it somewhere that I would have known about if I had read it, then sign it without reading it, just for the cursed artifact appeal. I would not stand a chance against a cursed artifact.

[@pRahvi0]

I don't have to proof-read contracts because I have read the law that binds every contract I sign. And the law says that if I unknowingly beak a contract because it was too difficult to understand, I'm not responsible.

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

@@pRahvi0 You're now my hero. I have no idea if this is true, but if it sounds like it'll hold up in front of a jury of my peers then _it's good enough!_

[@KageRyu798]

When you mentioned how the cursed object could technically be a person where bad things happen around them, I thought of "Lucky Abrams" from Blood Blockade Battlefront. He's an otherwise normal guy who was cursed by blood breeds (more or less vampire entities) to have extreme misfortune follow him wherever he goes. Now, this doesn't mean he experiences misfortune; he is "Lucky" after all. The curse brings hell and chaos to everything AROUND him. Wherever he goes, bad things happen: traffic accidents that kill dozens, implausible meteors crashing into a train full of people, and other otherwise extremely uncommon disasters occurring that lead to death and destruction. However, Abrams himself is exempt from harm, and these disasters barely miss him, but cause hell for everyone else nearby. The funny part is that the people who know Abrams KNOW about this curse and most would avoid being around him if they had a choice, but Abrams doesn't even seem to realize why everyone avoids him or why crazy things happen all the time. Definitely my favorite take on this trope.

[@bentheherod3373]

The Monkey's Paw is the first thing that comes to mind when cursed artifacts are brought up, though not through the original context. I read XXXHolic growing up is mainly around shenanigans occurring around a wish granting shop and there is an episode where someone finds a monkey's paw and buys it at the price of free but you must never undo it's seal. Big plot twist she does and to make long story short after she accidentally make a wish resulting in an innocents death they start freaking out and to maximize bad ideas wishes for all her issues to go away at which point the paw strangles her to death. being a very young child at the time this scene is burnt into my mind. Edit: something my sister reminded me off that I forgot is that the lady who brought the monkey's paw is a mythology nut and knows precisely what it's capable of but all the way until her she accidentally kills someone she constantly assures herself that since she knows how it works she'll be fine to directly quote "Even though other people couldn't......I'll be alright"

[@Keltaryn]

Love xxxHolic, Great example!

[@CommanderBohn]

Castellan Crowe: Treat them as useless trinkets. That's literally all.

[@BrotherVoidBomber]

Now im just imaging him using it for everything, just beating the shit outta of it cause he can. Need a crowbar? use the useless screaming sword. Need to cut down a tree? Take your anger on a metal wall? Its fine it won't break.

[@jordinagel1184]

@@BrotherVoidBomber now I imagine him using the demon blade as a steak knife or toilet plunger…

[@johnnychopsocky]

Ah, the classic Dante from Devil May Cry method.

[@BeefMeisterSupreme]

@@johnnychopsocky to be fair, that's also because said cursed weapons also tended to be certain demons he dunked on already, of course he's gonna dunk on em more

[@Warsmith_The]

Strength: User, Armour Penetration: 0, Damage: 1

[@joshuacritchfield3564]

One of my favorite cursed artifact stories, that nobody talks about, is The Care Bears movie. The main issue of the plot is a cursed book, that offers the young man power. That movie is way darker than people realize.

[@captaincrunch784]

That movie is dark AF! The audience is little kids! WTF

[@georgiprenatt8270]

OMG you’re so right! Most CB villains just wanted to erase emotions or whatever. That book drive people flat-out insane!!

[@LORDOFDORKNESS42]

My favorite take on cursed items is one I've seen very, very rarely: The beneficial but inconvenient & flawed item. It's kinda like a clingy McGuffin, but instead of a plot coupon it's just a nice item... that you can't put aside for another one. Like D&D used to to have this cursed -1 sword that in combat reapperes in your hand. So you're never unarmed... but with the worst blade you can have outside of a rusty rod with a handle. Always thought that was an underused idea for character building. Have your character basically sacrifice freedom & choice in something, for a power that seemed worth it at the time.

[@StarshadowMelody]

Seems like a good motivation for someone to start specializing. Get good with _Specifically_ that sword, hell, maybe learn to enchant it in ways that only work on cursed items.

[@vladimirenlow4388]

I immediately thought of Magikarp within the Pokemon universe. Sure, with the right care it turns into the massively powerful Gyarados. But until and unless that happens, you're stuck with a useless mon that's not even cute.

[@jeffbenton6183]

This sort of (but not quite) reminds me of the shield in the Rising of the Shield Hero.

[@BrewerM23]

There were people apparently who found that "always appears in your hand" power to be useful enough to be worth the penalty, since you could go into places unarmed and still have a sword when you needed it.

[@zeeb2190]

@@vladimirenlow4388 not really, since, the exp share exists, and you hardly ever exhaust up to 5 of your pokemon at once

[@ComfortingColourlessLight]

Me: oh wow, this shop has everything my heart desires! Cursed Artifacts shopkeeper: yes, I will warn you... every item comes with a price. Me: yes, I Know how shops work Cursed Artifacts shopkeeper: The price may be more than you expect to pay. Me: Yes, I know how US taxes work, too. Cursed Artifacts shopkeeper, increasingly exasperated: I'm trying to tell you that I'm evil and offering these wares with no regard for the harm they will do! Me, also increasingly exasperated: I know what capitalism is too goddammit

[@brucewatkinson5254]

This exchange feels like it walked out of a Terry Pratchett novel, and I love it!

[@sofastuffing]

love that post

[@taylor_green_9]

Such a classic

[@aribahossain6234]

Applause

[@darlalathan6143]

So, due to high-pressure ads, credit card debt and planned obsolescence, all products are cursed items, without magic?

[@xavierzabie8184]

Cursed Artifacts is just another reason why Tropes are not necessarily good or bad per se, but that they are recognizable enough to stir a conversation about said trope. Whether from the context of the story, 4th, wall or Metaphysical concepts. This video is very well done, thank you for the inspiration.

[@nthSonata]

The representation of the "generic cursed object" looks like a pitfall seed, and, y'know what, that's pretty fitting

[@FireFli]

This channel is a cursed artifact and I love it. Quality writing advice and entertaining.

[@Braxgar]

What's the curse?

[@seaofsalt3505]

@@Braxgar chaos

[@FireFli]

@@Braxgar My addiction to it.

[@mesdecent8051]

@@FireFli Fair enought

[@shaudoworks]

@@Braxgar Everyone who watches it is tempted to be the one to outsmart and out-write all of the pitfalls and downfalls of the tropes therein.

[@Billyblue98]

12:44 "A lot of money from a highly specific source" Ways that could go wrong: You forget to ensure the source survives The money is stolen from the source and placed in your bank account The source considers it a loan or a favor that you have to pay back

[@Naoise012]

"I wish to win the next Publisher's Clearing House $10,000 a week for life prize."

[@tnecniw]

"I wish that tomorrow when I walk into the local casino, the first machine I pull the lever on results in the 100 million dollar jackpot, that the casino owners can't find any fault in or actually find a way around giving me the money, making me able to leave the casino with 100 million dollar in my bank account with no negative reprecussions" (And then you can add more clauses that protect you from theft, assault and the like to keep your money)

[@ginganinjav5220]

@@tnecniw and you promptly get hit by a bus when you step out the door (and live in America and must pay your own medical bills)

[@tnecniw]

@@ginganinjav5220 That is what I specified with the different clauses you can add onto it. Like that you arrive home safely and are free to spend your money as you wish, with no sudden heavy costs appearing or pressuring from any state or company to pay a huge sum Etc etc.

[@uria3679]

Who hopes Red talks about the “Toxic Ideals” Trope, the “Tinker Character” Trope, the “Moral High Ground” Trope, the “Characters Who Don’t Go To Therapy” Trope, and the “Characters Who Do Go To Therapy” Trope

[@mariustan9275]

Me

[@fabulousslob3748]

Ohhh, I love the last one. My favorite fanfics are the ones where the characters get some semblance of therapy and believable closure.

[@drinfernodds]

@@fabulousslob3748 or how fictional characters handle therapy sessions, like Tony Soprano and Michael De Santa in GTA V

[@ikebirchum6591]

One thing I like about Stormlight Archive is that the main character basically invents therapy

[@nataleynakata3687]

“There’s no better therapy than combat therapy.” Personally I’d go for an exploration of that and psyche/ therapy in media

[@Thomas.Wright]

In the film (at least the extended cut), it appears that the Ring does tempt Sam, specifically when Sam tries to give it back to Frodo after rescuing him from the Orc tower. (It's somewhat hinted that the Ring might have given Sam some power to allow him to assail the tower to start with). But what could the Ring tempt Sam with? How about the desire to protect his master? He knows what the Ring is doing to Frodo. He wants to help Frodo. So what better way to tempt Sam than by saying, "Keep it and bear the burden yourself." But part of Sam's wisdom is the realization that he himself is unable to bear the burden. He knows he has to let Frodo carry it, because Frodo is destined to do so, and Sam can only trust that whatever powers there are will enable Frodo to do so.

[@juliagoodwin9510]

And this is why Samwise is the best character in Lord of the Rings. Change my mind.

[@5peciesunkn0wn]

And he can always carry Frodo even if he can't carry the ring directly.

[@spacecat_scribbles]

that's in the books too! "Now it had come to it, Sam felt reluctant to give up the Ring and burden his master with it again." - The Return of the King, p229 (in my edition) Though it is unclear if that's the Ring's influence or just Sam being the immensely kind-hearted person that he is. (actually I think that might be the point) Anyway, I love that chapter. There's so much love and care in it, despite the horrible situation.

[@Ismael-kc3ry]

Because Sam is the best guy ever

[@marctaco2624]

"I'm sorry Mr. Frodo: I can't carry it for you, but I CAN carry you, Come on!" Such a good line.

[@dontaylor7315]

"The only way to win is not to play" - that's the best advice of course, but I'm one of those who've fallen prey to trying to figure out how to outsmart the artifact. There's probably a flaw in my strategy but like all the other poor fools I imagine it working. It involves sacrificing one wish by saying "my first wish is that none of my wishes will be granted in a regrettable way."

[@peterstorm8089]

Idea how that backfires: The wish removes your ability to feel regret entirely. This may not seem so bad, but you will never be able to reflect on your actions or be capable of self-motivated growth and change. Because everything you do, good or bad, will be done with absolutely no regrets or guilt. Even if the world crumbles about around you because of what you have done or your other wishes, you will be incapable of taking responsibility or admitting things have gone wrong or it wasn't what you were intending. Alternatively, the cursed artifact just refuses to grant you any more wishes. As if it will always grant wishes in the worst way possible in a way the user will regret then by the phrasing of the wish "will be granted" it may just opt to not grant them. Basically forcing you not to play so to say. On the one hand, you did beat it as it can't screw you over, but on the other hand you didn't get any of the wishes you actually wanted to make. But on the other other hand that may be for the best. That's my ideas for how that wish could backfire on you.

[@dontaylor7315]

@@peterstorm8089 And both sound likely enough. I'd be lucky if it was the second scenario and not the first.

[@floricel_112]

@@dontaylor7315 alternatively, the artifact can just change your moral compass, making you evil or selfish or greedy or whatever, and now the thing can just grant your wishes without changing them in any way, because while you're wishing something your new self wouldn't regret now, your old self DEFINITELY would. So in a way, the relic is still screwing you over. (also you can't feel regret over the first wish if the change is instant)

[@callmemad4267]

Really the question is, by whose standards is it not regrettable? Because the wish giver could easily say "I don't regret it"

[@dontaylor7315]

@@callmemad4267 Yikes!

[@blueteller]

I've always seen Cursed Artifacts as allegories for temptations, really. It's not that all temptations are evil and have terrible consequences, it's just a reminder that some temptations ARE like that. Especially for money and power.

[@mostdefinitelynotaguineapi7566]

The most commonly used definition of temptation is a decision that is attractive even though you know that it is wrong, so I'm curious as to what you mean when you say that not all temptations are evil.

[@blueteller]

@@mostdefinitelynotaguineapi7566 I specifically meant small temptations. Such as eating candy when you're on a diet, or smoking. Not criminal or evil things; just things that fall into the "perhaps you shouldn't" category. Although if you take the definition of a temptation as something *morally* wrong, then I guess you could call it something else...? In any case, that's what I meant.

[@enoua5222]

RE: wish lawyers I was actually designing a magic system like that this morning! Magic is sourced from other-worldly beings that can be bound to contracts. There's a whole profession of lawyer "wizards" to draft very specific contracts to limit how those beings can misinterpret the spells

[@terrestrialTerror]

my favorite part of the monkeys paw subreddit is using it not to outsmart it but as a writing prompt. basically putting yourself into the asshole that's able to grant wishes. the original short story is haunting and it's fun to see how a question like "i wish for there to be an end to world hunger" could play out.

[@tomatooverlord2764]

That one's simple. Destroy the world. No world, no world hunger.

[@dysenutke3714]

I'd probably cause extinction of all life, because then no one would be hungry.

[@terrestrialTerror]

@@dysenutke3714 the monkeys paw curls. nothing has changed. Images of poverty and hunger are still being blasted live by any news station pretending to care. Your fridge looks no fuller than seconds before. Perhaps the change is gradual, machinations of systems shifting in subtle ways that takes a while to express itself. Maybe people are endowed with the gift of not needing food anymore, though you feel just as hungry as you did before. Maybe the paw is just fake bullshit. Your day goes about as normally as the last, it was rather forgettable had you not wished upon a paw. The next day you check up on world events, every news headline is screaming doom. An asteroid a quarter the side of the moon is going to impact earth in a year. This asteroid has been of particular concern for years since it was discovered. It passed "near" earth once but it's trajectory still had a lot of uncertainty. Today they have the results for the likelihood of an earth impact. There's a one in a million chance it misses, even the most optimistic projections spells extinction for the human race. The worst being the extinction of all known life on earth. You look back at the paw, the only digit still raised is it's middle finger. You are certain it wasn't like that yesterday.

[@veni3395]

One of my favorite characters I've ever played was in a homebrew D&D campaign called the curse addict. I ended up with a cursed set of armor, and unable to lift the curse. I decided to go full hog taking on every single cursed item I could find. Essentially I ended up obtaining immortality 6 way from sunday nulifying many of the bad sides of the other cursed items. And anything looking to take over my mind had to fight the other 4 curses attempting to do just that. This was by far my favorite way to handle cursed items in a story.

[@marctaco2624]

I can't decide if this is madness or brilliance, though it's amazing how often those coincide.

[@meltedxandle1249]

"Andvari's ring, one of the oldest cursed artifact, wasn't cursed initially. It ws cursed because-you guessed it-Loki stole it." Just another day in Norse Mythology, really.

[@coolgreenbug7551]

Oh you steal MY Ring?! WELL NOW IT’S CURSED!!! Loki: (Mind racing at a mile a minute thinking of the possibilities) So it’s cursed now you say,

[@Devils_Lair_Comics]

I feel like a lot of myths from Norse mythology can be summed up with the phrase "oh goddammit, Loki"

[@user-it5wu5iv1w]

yeah red mentions this in the video when she brings it up

[@AskMia411]

This video was my first intro to this myth, and now I'm seeing The One Ring in a whole new light.

[@DaDunge]

@@AskMia411 Tolkien always claimed his ring was not inspired by that ring though.

[@brandondavidson4085]

The Stormbringer thing sounds awesome, I should read the book series. It seems like an item that gives the whole elder relief from their disability while simultaneously draining their soul and the energy of everyone around them could be symbolism for disability itself and how being unable to do things others could easily do is a drain on your physical, mental, and emotional resources

[@Bitches_loveme]

I've read the series, and since it was made in the 60s and 70s mainly, I'm pretty sure it was about drugs in the way that Elric hates it and hates himself for using it, but is forced to use it to sustain himself and is powerless against it as it destroys everything in his life.

[@IggyTthunders]

Frodo: Boromir, stay back! Don't take the ring! Boromir: It's what my character would do. *DM rolls initiative for every orc in Middle Earth*

[@zodayn]

I really like cursed artifacts in the tragedy setting when it brings magic realism in the picture. Maybe the artifact actually is cursed, or maybe the protagonist is framing their flaws and bad choices onto the object.

[@joshuabela5374]

12:00 lol, I love your background cartoons! Whoever writes those has an incredible sense of humor

[@Anime-Control]

Don’t worry, you don’t need to know magic to have cursed items! Any item can be cursed depending on what you do with it!

[@jasonreed7522]

Just make someone a crown of Einsteinium and tell them it will make them smarter. Its element 99 and was found in the debris of the first atom bomb test. Also since its synthetic its super rare so good luck getting enough to make anything out of.

[@SonsOfLorgar]

Just like every machine is a smoke generator and firestarter if you run it wrong enough ;)

[@Mr.Faust3]

The berserker armor and behelits from berserk

[@chaosvolt]

One of the facets of this trope I find particularly interesting is the idea of a cursed artifact being corruptive mainly as a logical consequence of its other properties. It's funny how the most prominent example brought up in the video is Stormbringer. It's a prime example of an actively sentient and malevolent cursed artifact, the type where any other sources of corruptive influence would normally be extraneous, and yet as you point out a big reason why Elric uses it is because its other properties are so useful to him. It seems like an interesting angle that I suspect is rarely focused on entirely independent of other facets of the cursed artifact trope, outside of presumably the occasional case where it's played as a metaphor for drug addiction. That is another...interesting, I guess, facet of the trope that wasn't really covered in this video, basically the other ways an author might use this trope for metaphorical purposes, but it's beside the point. Basically a lot of interesting angles to this trope.

[@hugomungus7306]

The Hive from Destiny and their Worm parasites are my favourite version of this, especially with the new expansion. Endless blood tithes in exchange for greater power and an ever increasing hunger for bloodlust through interstellar genocide. The new expansion leads into the backstory of this event of parasitism beautifully. Just took years to get to this point :'(

[@NisansaDdS]

13:44 On your throwback to tragedy, there is this saying "If Othello and Hamlet swapped places, neither of the tragedies would have happened. As, Hamlet's downfall is thinking too much and Othello's is not thinking at all".