True Monogamy in the Digital Era: Is It Still Possible?

[@m.e.a.n.y]

I love listening to your takes Celine, they're always very well reasoned ❤

[@timsheehan1541]

“They’re all the same.” Worst person you know who profits from controversy & insecurity.

[@rahelkamber4839]

I appreciate your insights and your deep thinking! I think in order to have a good love-relationship both people need to have clear and strong boundaries with other people. People who let everybody into their life, or who are very unconcious of who is how close to them usually don't have very successful relationships. These boundaries apply also to Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc.. If a man follows women who pose in bikinis, he's probably going to feel something at some point. And if a woman is looking for approval for her attractive body from other men, she's probably less focused on her man and more likely to develop feelings for someone else.

[@springmustend4853]

Came here for the thoughts, stayed for the Wong Kar Wai films.

[@Daniel..Lobo..]

Discovered your videos recently, love watching them; your takes always seem very insightful and dense to me. It is apparent, at least to me, that you think thoroughly about what you want to say, which I find very rare nowadays. Keep sharing your thoughts. Sending big hugs. D.L.

[@thelegendofme9340]

I really like your takes on the digital age, especially the disconnection part troubling relationships nowadays. But i think that we have to differentiate between certain types of online consumption or activity. Social media platforms do have all of these issues you said, as they actually sre a way to invite eveyone you know into that relationship. I feel like with that, someone actually is always connected with other people, of whom you do have a certain relashionship (social if you know each other mutually irl, parasocial if not). And the constant connection with all those people can damage a relationship tremendously. But i think there are other types of online interaction, where these issues are less present. Online platforms, where people are anonymous does make the connection and relationship more distant in some way. Or youtube for example, where most users are also anonymous and watch people they enjoy watching, not because they know them personally, but mostly because they like their content (ofc parasocial relationships can also happen here). But the fact that you yourself are anonymous gives this a different tendency.

[@Pazzak13]

Im in 7 years old relationship, 3 years of marriage. I love monogamy ❤

[@UsualOxym]

This was somewhat unexpected (in a remarkable way). Sometimes I feel a bit lost when considering morality. For most of the time I understand what is considered moral, but for some cases I don't know why. It feels so arbitrary.

[@mrowienie8829]

i feel like in the past the reason for long-term relationships was the bond of marriges and resposibility of children that kept the couples together and i wonder what these days can be as bonding as commiting your whole life for the sake of big family. how can two not be bored and overcome this feeling for years?

[@hasanunver2600]

The last two parts of the video have good points.

[@josenunez8310]

Spot on, just wow.

[@arbitarious]

I'm definitely open to an open marriage but that still relies on communication and asking permission. But yeah I feel like with cheating, a lot of people love the thrill of it. And also alot of people don't think about long term. They just want short term gratification. It's really sad.

[@SpencerBRandall]

another golden nugget of knowledge

[@tezismith8795]

3:53 "divorce was not accepted" at 0:34, the woman in the red dress, she's "JustPearlyThings" iirc, and one of her main grifts is that she "thinks" divorce should be banned (she doesn't actually believe this I don't think, she just says it to get views from teenage boys who're terrified of women) on new age cheating: I personally wouldn't say social media use is cheating because imagine living in a tribe, or a commune - you would still have to share a level of intimacy with that tribe and commune in order to contribute to those societies. humans tend to be more complex than just settling with one partner and that being that for their socialisation a lot of the "discourse" (Tate bros and people like JustPearlyThings) surrounding cheating is just about normalising dated Western (and hence white supremacist) conceptions with respect to relationship dynamics to a younger generation of terminally online insecure teenage boys who're terrified of women. being queer and terminally online I've seen plenty of examples of people being open and happy even with *purely* online relationships - it's possible to love through / with the internet, it just hurts, given that on this hellscape called Earth we are not afforded the freedom of movement we require to freely express these relationships how we desire and the trouble of consistently expressing love for another without the aid of the internet .. I think that problem is more general than just romantic relationships, I think it's that generally speaking the internet has corrupted our interpersonal communication skills - on the internet you're always interacting with facades so perhaps, over time, you lose the ability to peer past facades and interact with those people in a rawer manner internet queers I've seen solve this tend to do so by being damn near ideologically committed to being as open as possible in order to try and prevent that facade from forming and damaging their relationships

[@Rolfwar]

I think it is quite interesting how you briefly portrayed the moral framework of relationship of the pasts and how these have now evolved into a more lax standard (as you pointed out, being single is "not a big deal anymore"), but then you say you are "baffled" because people still cheat. Here you missed the difference between moral life and public/community life, which in the stricter societal order of the past were almost synonymous. Adultery in the past implied a very much real danger of repudiation by one's husband, loss of employment and standing for men, and outright ostracization in one's community - keeping in mind the very important role religious institutions still had even in daily life. To be a citizen, in the past, more or less overlapped with being an individual acknowledged as moral or embedded in morality. As this past order has collapsed or withered, private relationships are almost entirely just that - private. There is no public outcry or consequence regarding cheating for most common individuals. Indeed, the digital era has introduced a growing component of 'gamification' in sexual or romantic relationships, which is a consequences of the fact that institutions such as concubinage or betrothal have either disappeared or become more or less a function of individual interpretation; this, combined with the understanding of these relationships' value as essentially embedded in their entertainment value, really removes any real brake of arbritrary/egotistical behaviour.

[@celine_marie]

Sure, but here you’re making an argument that people wouldn’t act morally, ie. Keep their promises, not cheat or be kind if theres not some sort of external checks and balances system around them. I disagree. I believe humans are inherently kind and capable of respecting each others boundaries (with some exceptions of course). I agree that relationships and their structures are increasingly “private”, but I see no connection between this and a greater reason for cheating. The private contract between individuals I’d argue holds more power precisely because it’s an individual “interpretation” of what a relationship should entail as opposed to a “public” mass prescribed formula that you have to agree to. Breaking the contract you yourself wrote is a bit ridiculous and pointless in my view. Might as well not write it and not be in relationships at all.

[@Dekjo00]

So rare to find people that have this way of thinking and that level of self-awareness. And its like, actually rare, just think about it. its rare, we are hopeless frr lol Although at the part where you say that digital age makes you feel lacking, well we can also use the "you are not really sure of who you are and what you stand for" point we did on cheating depending on the circumstances. That being said, Im in a 8 yr old polyamorous relationship, I oppose the idea that monogamy is the natural thing to do, AMA under the comment section.

[@TheOfficialNicely]

So do you eat the leftovers?

[@Dekjo00]

@@TheOfficialNicely Nope

[@_kokos_]

​@@Dekjo00What do you mean by polyamourous? Does it mean your love is not exclusive?

[@Dekjo00]

@@_kokos_ Yea

[@carlillos-d8m]

i love your videos.

[@cuperceriouspersion]

hello ! appreciate your content :) What microphone do you use?

[@martinstu8400]

No monogamy = bye bye civilization 💩

[@TrossDolfei]

Thumbs up!

[@lorileon2816]

Cheating is different with men though. Guys would fuck anything. Women have to be emotionally invested. Which do you think is worse🤷