Arranged marriage is better?

[@alexww180]

The only alternative to online dating is not arranged meetings… we could also actually engage in activities and meet people irl.

[@slowrunn3r88]

I agree with you, unfortunately our current culture and economic system actively works to make this harder. Nowadays, almost everything requires spending money, and while there *is* a guarantee you’ll spend money, there *is not* a guarantee you’ll meet people. Hopefully we can fight against this and work to create “third spaces,” but it’ll be a struggle

[@masonredding5678]

It’s kind of wild that your KZbin channel was recommended to me. Every one of your videos has been something I’ve recently contemplated. I’ve been on a “debunk, debunk” journey where any firmly held opinion I have, I go research others debunking my opinion. And then I do the reverse again. Anyway, as a 25 yr old dude in the dating pool, it’s refreshing to see somebody my age that is putting out deeper content like this. I tend to meet people that are so surface level. But who knows, I could be the asshole.

[@earthed-vw9zb]

you have such a good skill of connecting a bold "clickbaity" video title with a differentiated and thought-provoking deep dive; also really enjoying your selection of themes!

[@arthas4870]

Thank you for the thought-provoking video; I enjoyed it very much! While your critique of dating apps was very considerate, ultimately I think it was undercut by a skin deep examination of (and therefore defense of) arranged marriage. It may be true that we can't know our choice of partner is best, and that ultimately our self-centered criteria fail to recognize failures which may be obvious to our loved ones. But then: Is arranged marriage any better? Can't we ask for their advice, instead of submitting all judgement to them? Arranged marriages are usually made by families (not friends), are often made young, and may use criteria which are just as silly as any dating app user's. Money, politics, or else friendships between parents which have little to do with their children. Also, it's worth examining: Do our loved ones know better than us, who do not live inside our minds? Is detached analysis really the best path to love? You gave vague anecdotal evidence for this position at the beginning of your video, but it's impossible to know whether or not your friends' circumstances were specific to them, or you. (And, of course, our friends and families do not always have our best interests at heart.) I have to point out the alternative, begging for air. People can make choices unstrung from dating apps: we've done it for longer than they've been around. Okay, if you've come this far: There may be no right choices, but I am sure you can make yours one, should you possess the courage enough to do so. Believe in the partner you choose, so that they may return the feeling.

[@slowrunn3r88]

I made a comment saying something similar to what you just said. I have had friends who “meant well,” but actively discouraged me from going after the women I wanted, but ALWAYS tried to pressure me to pursue women *they* found attractive even though their type is not at all compatible for me I even had a “friend” gaslight me into staying in an abusive relationship, he convinced me “nobody will love you the way she does, you’d be screwed if you left her. And you’d be seen as a selfish jerk, so stay!” And growing up I had a good friend, and while I loved her as a friend, many said “you’re gonna marry her!!!” And…the thought of being forced to marry her sent me into panic attacks for many years - no offense to her, but… it didn’t “feel right,” but I felt so guilty, like I was “horrible” for not wanting to marry her Case-in-point, friends and family don’t always know what’s best

[@slowrunn3r88]

I do appreciate your thoughts and analysis on this. That being said, while it is possible for our friends and family to have an “objective outside observer viewpoint,” that doesn’t mean they’re always right For instance, I have a friend - well meaning guy, genuinely thinks he’s doing the right thing for me - who often suggests I ask out X woman, and it’s always someone I’m not vibing with. Many would suggest “maybe he sees something we don’t see,” but… no, I’ve gathered over the years, *he* finds those women attractive, and projects that onto me, when women who make *me* happy are very different from the type he’s attracted to Heck, I even had a therapist say “you know sometimes our friends see something we don’t see,” but this therapist never let me finish a sentence before interrupting and trying to force me into something I didn’t wanna do (he was HORRIBLE!) In fact, for many years in my life, my “friends” wouldn’t respect what was right for me. They’d tell me to keep around “well meaning” (but toxic!) people and keep me away from people who’s company I actually enjoyed even just as friends Heck, I was in an abusive relationship and one “friend” refused to reassure me I’d be safe if I left her. Nope, he knew how to manipulate me and guilt trip me into staying with her

[@Black_pearl_adrift]

I remember arguing about this with a guy I was dating. And he kept arguing as if arranged meant forced. When really an arranged marriage can be as simple as your parents vetting someone, and recommending them to you, and then you marry them. Is it foolproof? No! But the advantage is your friends and family know you in ways you may not know yourself, they can see your relationship patterns from a bird's eye view. And with your community (friends, family, etc) being involved in the process, you have more responsibility to treat each other better for fear of the community's judgment. I don't practice it right now, but I am always open to matches recommended by people who love me and have my best interrest at heart.

[@abdulaigoro7433]

We are growing up.

[@johnny_veritas]

💁‍♂️ You know your preferences better than your parents.

[@johnny_veritas]

♀️There is higher optionality if you are a woman or a top 15% guy. Most men don't get many options if any online.

[@MarinaM-o6p]

I CAME TO THE CONCUSSION THAT NO MATTER WHAT TYPE OF MARRIAGE A WOMAN HAS , SHE WILL BE USED , ABUSED AND BETRAYED ….

[@alicefreist318]

In order for a marriage to work, all parties must agree that staying together forever is the point of it all. Why would anyone do that, why choose to be limited that way? There are many reasons, but mostly it boils down to raising children into productive adults, and taking care of the elderly. Dating apps seem to have weirdly disconnected people while they're marketed as bringing them together. We are becoming so socially isolated from each other, and our time is so limited, that any deep relationship has to be deliberately built and maintained. So, having your life mate picked for you is convenient, even if it is a gamble.

[@RISHISAIKIA-z3l]

My god , the more I try to understand this things , the more I feel dumber . ( ╥ω╥ ) I guess I should probably walk my dog instead

[@shanzydacunt8953]

I am so sorry, but as someone who lives in a place where arranged marriage is promoted and endorsed culturally, this is a no...... just because a certain trend of dating is awful, It does not mean you should defend "arranged" marriage. People need to be more open to meeting naturally and communicating with honesty.

[@UmiTurko]

Neo-NorwegiannicheWoke>TradMasculinity lol. Celine is clairvoyant of complex modern issues. Economy blends in philosophy with existentatlism. Always delivers good content

[@isabellalora6533]

You look similar to Kate Moss 😊

[@zerozerozero333]

Would you rather be a Karate black belt or just sit on your ass and cry about how your perfect life should be like? Strike first, strike hard, no mercy. It's up to you...

[@slowrunn3r88]

Whereas here at Miyagi-Do, we say “only reject love in self defense, rule number two-refer back to rule number one” ^^okay I did a terrible job making a philosophy out of that 🤣 but I had to go off the reference you made

[@lightghost7524]

You traded places with Mikhaila Peterson

[@klaraelisabeth]

I was always partly pro arranged marriage because people mistake physical attraction for long lasting love :) There's one thing I don't understand; why wanting ambitious friends? For what particular reason.

[@olleolausson]

So they can encourage you and find solutions for them self which you can also learn from