Trump Auditions Potential VPs, Can’t Pay His $464 Million Bond & a Visit from Crab Jesus!

[@MikeCee7]

From 6:09 to 7:39, the Marco Rubio versus Donald Trump, was the funniest 90 seconds I’ve seen on TV and a long time. Whoever was in charge of composing this segment, give that person a raise!

[@J.M.-nb4gw]

I hope the Democrats use that segment in their campaign ads 😂

[@unbotheredmovement]

Thanks for the timestamp! Hilarious! 🤣

[@nogames284]

i didn't know rubio had lines like that, good editing indeed

[@marshwetland3808]

@@nogames284 Never seen him before, but he was impressive.

[@fullchicken4492]

Jimmy Kimmel has been on fire the past month

[@mayberelevant3237]

“If at first you don’t secede … try , try again” has to be one of the most succinct jokes ever !!

[@Fifyfofum2345]

That old B! She's so old South.

[@oftenwrongphong]

Thanks for this. I heard "succeed" so thought it was a bad attempt by Kimmel.

[@Wheelerdealer2]

You should invest in an English dictionary

[@Midbro100]

He stole it from Trump. He said it to Hillary.

[@drumbird]

That was the most chaotic ending to a late night monologue that I've ever seen. 😵

[@ricobhi]

This was pretty epically hilarious, but you really need to dig out some old David Letterman episodes

[@drumbird]

@@ricobhi Got some recommendations?

[@sadhumannell2769]

Really bad fish skit!!!

[@rennstreetpodcast]

That came off the rails like a Trump speech. But damn it was so hilarious!!

[@Erika1965]

Loved it!

[@vedacarmony5754]

“I grabbed him by the assets. When you’re an AG, they let you do it.” - Leticia James, AG

[@2011DigitalMedia]

😂

[@Oub2000]

😂😂😂

[@Oub2000]

Fortunately and unfortunately

[@chiguireespacialespecial]

Doctros stop humoing camels, wait Seth and Crew

[@nelsonhunter-valls3206]

When you're an Attorney General, they let you do anything; you can Grab 'em by the property! 😂

[@aaronclay79]

🤣 I did not know Marko Rubio got in on Trump like that, that montage was AWESOME🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@davidobriend8560]

8 years ago. After Trump won the primary, Marco never criticized him again

[@damienjeremyweir4543]

😂

[@darrelllowe2619]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@InTheLight54]

I didn't either!!!!😂😂😂😂

[@lindakautzman7388]

Marco talked like that before Trump was elected when he was running for president too.

[@b-meaker99]

The crab jesus bit went totally sideways, but that lady freaking out about the fish saved it all 😅😂😂

[@elvinn9434]

So true 😂😂😂😂

[@michelebenedosso3899]

I think She was phobic of fish… I picked her fear out immediately since I’m phobic too. Funny but, but probably not for her. 😱

[@evilscorpio1981]

She was annoying and over doing it like why act like that over a dang fish

[@hurdygurdyguy1]

She's saying to her friends, "the one time I get to Kimmel's show AND score a front row seat! What are the odds??!!"

[@sim_city]

​@evilscorpio1981 Yeah, but to be fair, she has fish slime and blood on her shirt in a studio audience now. That's sucks. I'm a fisherman, and I feel for her.

[@BaconTomatoCheese]

“ If he asks you to run - RUN” 😆😂🤪

[@LyonsM]

“RUN”, hilarious!!

[@scottstl6776]

If he asks you to run... RUN! LOL

[@cherylhill9350]

Run far, run FAST!!!😮

[@janetarqui.momtraveler1273]

How do you bankrupt a casino. Still cracks me up😅😅😅

[@sassafrasdinglemeyer4513]

How you bankrupt a casino is by building three of them right next door to each other OMG so stupid!

[@mysticcove3392]

​@@sassafrasdinglemeyer4513 🤔 Reno NV "The Row". Silver Legacy (30 years old) is in the middle. Circus Circus (46 years old) on the left Eldorado (51 years old) on the right. 3 Hotel Casinos connected to each other (indoor no need to go outside). They're doing fine.

[@crashburn3292]

How Trump bankrupted the Taj Mahal is worth reading about. It was a masterclass in business buffoonery.

[@reneewatson9861]

😮mmm

[@scotmandel6699]

@@sassafrasdinglemeyer4513 don't know, don't care but he will be our next President. Deal with it. TRUMP 2024

[@marcusymarcos8750]

“For the same reason you wouldn’t loan a watermelon to a hippopotamus” 😂 Bravo! 👏🏽

[@waryaawariiri1812]

I immediately had these visions of hippopotamus crushing watermelons as seen on YT Short clips.

[@Yepthatswhattheysaid]

Yep that’s what he said

[@patrickmichael5719]

That crab jesus bit was insane, that lady freaking out about the fish was hilarious

[@Arkangel.98]

God will not be mocked, there is more then one war going on, crime is in the rise more then ever, weather conditions in LA and in unusual places, volcanos, the ephrates river is dried up, these are the signs of Jesus is coming, please reach out to him, he is using me to tell out to you God bless Jesus loves you

[@keithhunter3910]

Big Donnie and Little Marco, the perfect GQP dynamic duo.

[@sugarcookiecube]

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸little marco has less than zero self respect…does he not remember why tiny mush wanted to do to his previous vp???🤔🤔🤔

[@SocialMediaDale]

I’m English and live in the UK. I don’t think most of the population is bothered where Kate is. It’s our press making a big issue about it.

[@williampowell15]

It's not being discussed in the press or TV but everyone is talking about it. Something is definitely going on we are being kept in the dark.

[@billienova]

Yes she needs privacy . As we all do . The press needs to stop 🛑

[@alisonmcnamara800]

Well I hope she is well!

[@ighdesigns]

Yeah, because nothing else is happening in the world.

[@rodanone4895]

​@@mechez774couldn't be a distraction from the middle east by the media. royals... trump... musk. time to be done with these people. WHO CARES?! highest intellectuals discuss ideas. the lowest discuss other people... the dumbing of the populations. all to prevent ideas.

[@donnewton7858]

I can tell you how to bankrupt a casino: 1. Build a casino with borrowed money. 2. Refuse to pay any of the builders or sub-contractors, because you're a deadbeat. 3. Get sued by everyone. 4. File bankruptcy to avoid having to pay what you owe.

[@annakingry9157]

And Trump money making strategy--take money out of 1st casino to build second, take money from that one to build third, etc. Finally, lose all because you can't run a business of any kind, soaking your investors and moving onto the next get rich quick scheme.

[@reneewatson9861]

Trump Still have to Pay the Bank back If he fouls bankruptcy

[@reneewatson9861]

🎉

[@GratifyMeNow13]

That’s after you’ve wasted $400 million of your dad’s money through it trying to keep it afloat then switched to laundering money selling condos to Russian gangsters.

[@piamorrow6955]

Having 3 casinos competing with each other.

[@1cremate]

Once again, Jimmy knocked it out of the park🎉🎉🎉

[@luciustitius]

Don't take away his plane! That rickety thing might be our best chance.

[@sonsaraeronnow4404]

LMAO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@DoraEliaCrake]

LOL… 🙏

[@xosweetiexpieox5]

I want more of the lady freaking over the fish in the audience. That was the best part 😂😂

[@darkpepsi]

The best part lmao

[@Citlalic18]

Lol! Yess!!!!

[@bolasblancas420]

Best part.

[@UkeCan1]

The next Guillermo!

[@MayTheSchwartzBeWithYou]

Live TV at its best. Honestly funnier than 90% of their scripted bits. She took what would've been a mid-tier bit and made it iconic. 😂

[@therealhiesenberg2731]

Just imagine eric standing next to donald when his plane gets repo'd. I can see him yelling "De plane boss! De plane!"

[@marjoriegarland2798]

😂😂

[@Mostlydarkmagic]

😂😂😂😂

[@paulmiller6245]

Thanx

[@victoriazwick1082]

Thanks for the laugh!!

[@taunicheree]

The Rubio/Trump montage gave me a much-needed laugh. Thank you!

[@veramattox]

crab jesus was too much i will never watch you again

[@ray24051]

The audience thought the guy was going to pull out rubber fish and he was throwing actual real dead fish.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Fanney47]

Didn't see that one comin. Lol

[@exDivinityFPS]

NGL I loved the squeals of terror.

[@michelebenedosso3899]

@@exDivinityFPS Those screams of terror were real for the blonde trembling lady in the front row. It looked like she was phobic (I’m phobic myself, so I can spot it a mile away.) I think those fish were alive & squirming… 😩

[@Dan-Simms]

They were not alive lol that poor lady though, that was funny, she was terrified.

[@KittyCat22976]

@@michelebenedosso3899 no worries, they weren’t alive… the animal rights activists would be camped out in front today if they were. Using real fish instead of rubber ones was a mistake though, for sure!

[@StarChasersHere]

*tRUMP- "I just want to find $464 million, which is more than I have"*

[@Damremont18]

Always looking for something: money, votes, porn stars, sympathy, someone to blame, VPs…

[@UkeCan1]

"I just want you to do me a favor though"

[@Oneshot8242]

If it's Russia, that would be MORE FAVORS!

[@dozzer009]

⁠@@Oneshot8242 I’d be curious if be so stupid? Of course he would…what am I thinking 🤦🏻‍♀️ Laws don’t apply to him in his universe.

[@joachimschoder]

"... which is $465 million than I have".

[@user-md4di6yg2p]

"If he asks you to run...run!"... gotta love it! Why anyone would want to have anything to do with that guy is beyond comprehension.

[@margaretweber50]

He tried to have his last one hung😂

[@Mike-again]

I love these people that showed up for a Jimmy Kimmel Show and didn’t realize they’d signed up for a Gallagher Special.

[@SteveFanning-xq9ji]

BassOmatic- clean up in rows 1 thru 10

[@ianhowarth2656]

Gallagher. Now there’s a name I haven’t heard in more than a dog’s age. Where is he now. Lifting weights with Carrot Top?

[@casparnigell5510]

Please make the fish a fixture. I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time!!!! Crab Jesus for Trump's VP!!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@DeepSeeBlue3636]

How was it now what Trump said; “You got to pay your bills! you delinquent! We won’t help you!”

[@omccabe1]

The fish stuff at the end had me dying 😂😂😂

[@PleaseDontEatAnimals]

Unfortunately, it was the innocent fish who were dying in real time as people laughed and screamed. Mean people suck.

[@kimsland999]

@@PleaseDontEatAnimals Incorrect, the fish were already dead.

[@clintmash245]

I'm honestly not sure - they looked to be flipping around. Still seems crazy that they used not-fake fish

[@SugarandSarcasm]

@@clintmash245the one fish held up by an audience member looked like it was already gutted.

[@SugarandSarcasm]

It was hilarious! Although I'm sure that lady will be traumatized for a little bit

[@samsepiol05590]

Jimmy Kimmel is a national treasure! Gutfeld studies him nightly lol

[@scotmandel6699]

If garbage was a national treasure. TRUMP 2024

[@ShawnHartmann-ul2qk]

When Crab Jesus walks on water, is it sideways?

[@deeemm979]

He scuttles to and fro turning it into wine.

[@ronalddrumpf7126]

It is sideways indeed but it is also upside down because crab Jesus lives in the ocean he is actually walking on air

[@jeepdude7359]

Some of the funniest parts are when it all goes horribly wrong. Jimmy is a master at adapting to the situation.

[@tsubadaikhan6332]

Whatever Jesus the Republicans believe in would really want to walk backwards in Time.

[@humbleevidenceaccepter7712]

Lol! You win the internet today.

[@tassochristopoulos2046]

The fish throwing was hilarious 🤣 😂 .... genius 🤣

[@PleaseDontEatAnimals]

I don't understand why humans think being cruel to innocent animals is hilarious.

[@kimsland999]

@@PleaseDontEatAnimals Because the 'fish throwing' part. That's exactly what he said! That's what made it funny, and laughing at Jesus crab.

[@nealfager8126]

Crab Jesus throwing real dead fish at the audience! WOW JUST WOW! 😂 😂😂 That was one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen on any talk show!

[@dr.kraemer]

Were they dead?

[@hc1314]

Audience response was hilarious😂🤣🤣

[@Fanney47]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@CT-vm4gf]

That crazy striped top lady freaking out about a fish, omg.

[@pyriph]

They were moving when the guy was holding one.

[@richardluce775]

He was a “Security Risk” before his legal and money troubles.

[@bewiseopeneyes8720]

Sure sure. Tell me you have no brain without telling me 😂

[@samfedor2194]

The KGB set their sights on him in the 70s when wife #1 came into the picture. They deemed him easily manipulated... extremely vulnerable intellectually & psychologically.

[@scotmandel6699]

@@samfedor2194 you have any actual proof comrade biden apologist?

[@paddycable1723]

Thanks again Jimmy for another great monologue - a UK fan.

[@scotmandel6699]

nobody actually funny in the UK?

[@jbaba6923]

OMG that woman with the fish in the audience was hilarious!!! 😂 🐠

[@CP-ho2wj]

She was being over dramatic. Very annoying.

[@lindakautzman7388]

@@CP-ho2wjagree. I almost think she was a plant to create the laughs (fiind it hard to believe the audience was not warned in advance of this bit

[@LedZep207]

@@lindakautzman7388 We were not warned in advance. The chaos you saw on TV was genuine and continued even after the taping of the monologue was complete.

[@richardhenrysr5029]

she was a really good sport too!!!

[@tarl1812]

No this was real how the others reacted was what they predicted not someone freaking out about fish, we see so many reality shows hard to tell genuine reaction but this was it, hilarious.@@lindakautzman7388

[@justinesimone5343]

I thought of seizing his plane to keep him from flying off to Russia.

[@stuartb3609]

They have a habit of falling out of the sky once in Russian airspace for some reason.

[@Ockv74]

Please let him go to Russia, anyway we can end this MAGA nightmare is fine!!! 💙 💙 💙

[@jaredchilders3781]

No, keep him from having cult worship rallies.

[@AcademyNS]

Oh, going to Russia is the perfect ending. "Oh, Donald. You disappoint me. All I asked was that you unfreeze my assets and undermine NATO..."

[@tiffanyshanley1419]

I'd rather him not be able to come back

[@JohnEmmanuel-hf3wd]

The Jesus & fish at the end of the monologue 100% Classic. Thumbs-up guys

[@terryreynolds200]

Imagine running for president as a legal strategy to keep yourself out of prison.

[@joogie1849]

That's all he's doing for. It's not qualified 😕

[@blainewalker2147]

Sounds like a movie script if you ask me

[@doug8321]

unfortunately we no longer need to just imagine it we are witnessing it in real time.

[@donna8243]

What's to imagine? It's happening now.

[@schoolbus071]

This is what our country has become 😡😡

[@wallochdm1]

Driving the Holy Rollers nuts with Crab Jesus. Love it.

[@PleaseDontEatAnimals]

Why do you love such a display of animal cruelty?

[@CT-vm4gf]

That group of old ladies did not look amused at the Jesus mocking lol.

[@kimclarke5018]

Yay. Thank you Jimmy for bringing up the POW and the fact the world has gone crazy because she had surgery and has been recovering from that surgery. Exactly leave her alone.

[@philiphurban9498]

How do you bankrupt a casino? We’d all love to know the answer to that

[@Beth-zg6gb]

I agree, leave Princess Kate in peace! Who cares about all the lookie loos and paparazzi?! To heck with them!

[@karmaalstad5588]

She just had abdominal surgery, that takes time to heal depending what was done. Damn, if Princess Kate can dress up, from the hips up and Zoom her meetings....let her.

[@n.a.lockhart]

I agree. I have had abdominal surgery and the last thing I wanted to do was get dressed up and go out in public.

[@veryberry39]

@@karmaalstad5588I'm surprised she was given the luxury, though. Do you remember how she had to come out for photo ops like right after popping out babies? I've never given birth and even I know how excruciating that had to have been for her!

[@mandyinseattle]

I'm so tired of all the coverage of that picture. So she altered it or edited it. Who gives a s*** and it's nobody's business. People are falling apart over at calling it a scandal.

[@n.a.lockhart]

@@mandyinseattleRight !! It’s so ridiculous !!

[@jameshellard7042]

Best Kimmel clip ever. All hail Crab Jesus! Christacean!

[@scotmandel6699]

thats a pretty low bar

[@n.a.lockhart]

Thank you Jimmy Kimmel for standing up for Princess Catherine.

[@jessecortez6602]

Thanks Jimmy one of the funniest shows I’ve seen! 😂😂😂

[@davewyman]

Little Marco vs Orange Jesus was awesome. Crab Jesus was clearly in a class by Himself, though. I’d love to see OJ and Crab Jesus go after each other, too!

[@chiguireespacialespecial]

Meant Holy Fans!

[@patsylvest]

Jimmy Kimmel keeps me sane.

[@roxannecarpenter6668]

This is true 😂

[@Random-sk6hm]

He reminds me there's normal people in the US still

[@damondavros3712]

OMG! This whole crab Jesus bit and that Lady's rxn???? Hilarious. It brought tears to my eyes.

[@gangsterhet]

😂😂😂That fish part... I was hooked

[@paengs.delrosario7804]

"Crab Jesus" 🦀 should have walked in sideways...like a crab would. 🥰🥰🥰🤣🤣🤣

[@brianchase9251]

The GOP has dug itself into such a deep hole over the last 7-8 years and they just keep digging. My former party is unsavable at this point, and it will take at least a generation to overcome. Quite possibly two generations.

[@jonncockrell3606]

They started digging when Reagan became President. Bush ran the country while Reagan read the script in front of the camera. Since then the digging got progressively intense and crazed. Using Supreme Court to steal election in 2000, invading Iraq for weapons of mass destruction that didn't exist, refusing to pay for the War and borrowing Trillions while accusing Democrats of tax and spend, tax cuts for billionaires and cuts in services to everyone else, running economy into the ground and bailing out the corporations, banks,etc while leaving everyone else naked,etc. Trump is just the latest version of the Big Lie Republicans have been selling since 1980.

[@davidc2838]

Unless Crab Jesus can save them! They need a few catfishes.

[@jeskoog]

And they should make restitution

[@Thomas-fj8ol]

gop/government of putin@@chrislambert5571

[@RockSoup]

And it was all 100% self inflicted.

[@seraphonica]

Trump looking for a running mate is a reminder of a job interview question you should ALWAYS ask; "What happened to the last person who had the job?"

[@terryreynolds200]

Being Trumps VP could be a hang up.

[@ParahSalin]

Trump: He “hung” up on me when I asked him to steal the election

[@chimdi_samuel]

Sadly, in their selfishness, the applicants don't care what happened to the last guy!

[@elviarodriguez3908]

Buried in legal fees in the backyard swamp owned by rump.

[@wade7959]

The show legit lost control with the fish. 😂🤣💀 That lady was hilarious.

[@walternullifidian]

Drumph is Schroedinger's billionaire! He's both rich and poor at the same time! 🤣

[@Alex-jx5bx]

Wow!! Very impressive😜🤪👌👍

[@jaweddeshmukh7729]

Fab comment sir

[@KatieAubrie]

If you spent more time on creating business and compounding money instead of talking smack about our former president, you might become a billionaire too

[@gyrene_asea4133]

A Schroedinger quip is always timely. :)

[@MK-lh3xd]

Until you attempt to measure his wealth. Then it cillapses into one number, which is 100 million.

[@triciac1019]

So that may be how he will choose his VP, if they will pay his bond.

[@VladimirPutin-p3t]

Vice President Vladimir Putin...

[@FreedomVoice365]

@@VladimirPutin-p3t You know Putin said he doesn't want Trump, and he doesn't care who's president because it doesn't make a difference to relations. (Because of CIA positions etc., which both sides agree on)

[@MissJudyLee]

“Can you imagine the sign of Donald Trump standing in line for SouthWest flight?” 😂😂😂😂😂

[@agathac6187]

Ick! Imagine the stench. Travelers would have to jump out of the plane.

[@belovedhearts]

"Economy" ... as a former Head of State, you'd think he'd know what the word means, but I bet my last ten bucks Trump doesn't know what the economy is, let alone "economy class"... *laughs in sigh*

[@geoffstrickler]

The airlines should demand cash or debit, no credit cards from any Trump.

[@WaywardVet]

Crab Jesus is awesome. Get that man some loaves!

[@WaywardVet]

Jimmy did offer to have the head removed. Crab Jesus looked ready and willing to provide that miracle. I'm a combat veteran. A foxhole atheist. I trust in Crab Jesus because that motherf'er delivers.

[@melissaweyrick5311]

🌸Spring🌸 Tis' the season for seizin '

[@marjoriegarland2798]

Great line 🎉😁

[@jeffs6090]

Yeah, that was total lawyer speak for "yes". If they don't specifically say no, then it's a yes!

[@ssnyder1513]

Absolutely loved the trump vs. little marcus mash up!

[@kathyeyesopen4078]

OMG I LOVE the crab Jesus bit😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@steveelliott628]

Crab Jesus and the fish will go down in history Mr. Kimmel. Bravo!

[@AlejoMX5]

That lady must have a fish fobia. Sue coming up?

[@elephant_888]

This is one for the books!!! 😂

[@douglasalder6039]

I'm not sure if that was a failed skit or a brilliant skit but I laughed

[@reneebauman2994]

I didn't laugh it made me uncomfortable as a Christian and sad for having lost respect for a fantastic comedian

[@jamesheuer5139]

@@reneebauman2994…hahaha!

[@cammieg4381]

The front row freaked out!! The fish stole the show!!!

[@PleaseDontEatAnimals]

And the show stole the innocent fishes' lives for a stupid sight gag.

[@cammieg4381]

I was a bit taken back when I saw the fish were real. ...- - I just now heard something (diff show): "the world population will reach 10 BILLION by 2080". I can't recall who is interviewed so I can't immediately post source(s) but if this is correct, we've already passed the tipping point for this planet's balance. Not sure why I felt it okay to share this first (for me) with you. @@PleaseDontEatAnimals

[@JN-Bellicose]

​@@PleaseDontEatAnimals Do... Do you think the show killed the fish? If they were already dead when purchased at the market, why do you give a F*¢k what people do with them? Do you cry everytime you see a dead fish in the movies, in the market, on the shore, in a restaurant?

[@gonelocoffs]

Amazing how you got 100% of every intelligent thing Marco Rubio ever said collected in one clip.

[@davidlundquist1979]

The exchange between Rubio and Alex Jones from a couple years ago was pretty good too. I don't find Rubio to be all that bright, but he figured out how to get under Jones' skin pretty quick. He just pretended he had no idea who Jones was. "You know! You know who I am! Tens of millions of views!"

[@mojoyote5924]

That dueling Trump vs Rubio montage was awesome. Edit: And OMG, now I've just watched the crab Jesus fish giveaway, lol

[@sheila-we7em]

Best part of the sow to be honest

[@lararesende7499]

13:53 Jimmy laughing at the fish woman😂😂🤣🤣 🐟🐟

[@ukhawaja]

I think he realized the skit went awry and was trying to make her feel better as she was terrified of fish. Maybe get her a gift card to a good sushi place?

[@olliemarin1823]

@@ukhawajathey do get compensated

[@matthewcalifana488]

@@ukhawaja RAW - FISH !

[@PDXdjn]

The Crab Jesus fish bit had me laughing far harder than was reasonable.

[@manbtm1]

Evangelicals will be just fine with that whole thing provided they put a picture of Trump on the crabs

[@TahtahmesDiary]

That lady was my favorite by far 😅

[@julioperez1850]

I was wondering where the crab Jesus bit was going, thinking in my head about how they pitched it in their meetings. Then, it seemed to me both Jimmy and Crab Jesus guy realized it was going nowhere until Crab Jesus guy went for a bag and started throwing real dead fish at the audience! I lost it with the lady freaking out!! I laughed so hard!! She even kept freaking out at the end!! I guess it went according to the morning pitch meeting😂😂😂

[@gloriaf6971]

That Crab Jesus bit was about as crazy as you can get!

[@medavog]

JIMMY I JUST CAN'T HANDLE ALL THIS GREAT NEWS ON TRUMP BEING POOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@AbortYurfetuses]

@@chrislambert5571Was that English, pal?

[@AbortYurfetuses]

@@chrislambert5571 If Putin gives him $464 million would that make your fuhrer ineligible to be president?

[@AbortYurfetuses]

@@chrislambert5571 If Putin gives him the $464 million would that make him ineligible to be president?

[@Hania0433]

That should be on gigantic poster boards in every city......

[@Junkman2008]

@@chrislambert5571 Trump's a BINO: Billionaire in Name Only. 😄😆😅🤣😂🤣😅😆

[@bobwilliamson9562]

The people of earth want trump to leave.

[@danielmorales1470]

We👉👽👽👽don't want him either!

[@chrisrj9871]

@@danielmorales1470- nobody says he has to occupy a planet.... or a space-suit.

[@danielmorales1470]

@@chrisrj9871 OK, it's a deal👹

[@matthewcalifana488]

Fly him to moon and get him there before it,s June , Fly him 2 the stars or maybe Mercury or Mars another words , Hide his face .

[@colmanpm]

What have aliens ever really done to us?

[@myrahunter131]

I hope no fish were harmed in the making of this sorry skit.

[@YourHeartsDesires]

I'm sure they were ok, lol. Bet they never thought they would end up on Kimmel!😂

[@seosamh.forbes]

Crab Jesus spotted the best target in the room for that bit.

[@HoraceInkling]

Why did they use real fish though lmao

[@ThatDamnTaurus]

Jimmy Kimmel is always funny

[@dianep6791]

Jimmie Kimmel 🔥 🔥 🔥 Stephen Colbert 🔥 🔥 Seth Meyers 🔥 🔥

[@n.a.lockhart]

@@dianep6791Jon Stewart

[@FreedomVoice365]

Not always, but this time was good, because he wasn't bitter at Trump, just saying jokes, and the Fish skit was great, although he wasn't that comfortable at the end.

[@MayTheSchwartzBeWithYou]

@@FreedomVoice365 He was probably a bit concerned she might have a panic attack or something. Gotta love live TV!

[@PleaseDontEatAnimals]

Not funny when he's killing innocent animals for a cheap joke.

[@MiBzAn]

That lady's reaction made Crab Jesus worth it bahahaha I've never seen someone lose it over a dead catfish like that before 🤣😂🤣😂

[@singingsunflower9000]

She got literal blood on her clothes i mean i hope it wasnt an expensive/fave sweater

[@MiBzAn]

@@singingsunflower9000 he literally said they'd buy her a new one. 🤣

[@KanuckStreams]

The guy behind her with TWO fish was having a field day. Look at that smile.

[@bupdaddy1]

If this were Seth Meyers, I'd point out that Jesus would never have catfish because they're not kosher. I think crab Jesus was a FRAUD.

[@TheddreaJackson]

Lolololol 😂😂😂

[@Serai3]

"I can't pay my bill" -ionaire. OMFG 🤣🤣🤣

[@debprobst330]

Please take the plane...the plane...the plane😉

[@humbleevidenceaccepter7712]

Don't know about "Crab Jesus," but I once heard a patient yell _Jesus! I've got crabs?_

[@matthewcalifana488]

Hey man got any butter ?

[@peace4myheart]

I want to see Trump evicted from Mar-a-Lago. That would be so funny.

[@dougofthewoodsdouglasb5505]

I want to see them chisel his name off Trump Tower too!

[@5thribroarn304]

I want the $10 Million Dollar paid off Judge to meet some BIG, Bad Military Police.

[@macsmith2013]

Sure, but noone wants Mar-a-lago, too encumbered by the limitations on the deed and probably up to the ears in mortgages.

[@jakklump]

I'm looking forward to lara dump complaining about makeup stains on their couch.

[@douglaswild3852]

Yes!!! And to lose Trump Tower too!! 🤞🏻

[@jam1870utube]

🤣🤣 I thank Crab Jesus for the Jimmy Kimmel Show. So Entertaining. Great sketch.

[@momauxpommes699]

if king trumpet can bankrupt a casino, imagine what he can do to the country .... looks like a challenge

[@Trina_White]

You make me giggle,Jimmy!😂❤👍

[@visariosorino8034]

Love you Jimmy Kimmel, your show is terrific. Best talk show on the air. Welcome back Jimmy Kimmel. 😊❤👍

[@inviktus1983]

Seth Meyers is better

[@loveshine7819]

I'm surprised Jimmy didn't catch the joke: Christ-acean !! 🦀✝😂

[@babybijou969]

Trump the BINO: Billionaire In Name Only 🤑🍿

[@threeravens1788]

😂😂😂😂

[@MDone402]

WHINO BINO TRUMP 😂😂

[@Darbobski]

@@MDone402 WHINO BINO VOTE-NO TRUMP.

[@pirrepe]

🤣

[@cynthiagutierrez9103]

😂🤣😂🤣

[@tubruton]

Trump needs to get the super mayor, Tiffany Henyard, from Dolton Il. to be his VP. She's already under investigation!

[@n.a.lockhart]

😂😂😂😂

[@marjoriegarland2798]

😂😂😂😂😂🎉

[@penelopewilliams6711]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@PN_48]

Oh man the fish scene was brilliant😂

[@BMichaelL]

I just watched that Stormy - Jimmy interview last night! It was DELIGHTFULLY UNCOMFORTABLY FUNNY AS HELL!!! The spanking and the MUSHROOMS 😂😂😂

[@cristinesaunders2428]

You are the Best, Jimmy Kimmel! You just made my wake up call, now I can hop in the shower!:)) I still can't stop laughing, LOL!

[@jeanettelemcool8881]

The whole fish thing was hilarious!

[@immario11]

Please take Mara-largo! That would be the best.❤

[@TORTANK_8]

THE FISH 🤣 when that man holds up two of them at the end omg

[@koenigxolo]

Hilarious!

[@aaronkornaus3975]

As soon as Crab Jesus brought out dead fish, the show warped back to 1990s Letterman.

[@QuinnCloudz]

Amen! 😂😂😂

[@arthurau9231]

Are you allowed to bring the fish home and cook it and eat it? Free dinner right?

[@bolasblancas420]

@@arthurau9231that’s the spirit!

[@jannetteberends8730]

Are you sure the fish was dead. They seem pretty alive to me.

[@arthurau9231]

@@jannetteberends8730 This makes me wonder as you can buy live fish in a supermarket, this implies that if I were in the audience that I can get a free dinner out of attending Jimmy Kimmel as I get to keep the fish, bring it home with me, cook it and eat it.

[@TripleS24Squad]

Just throw Trump into a prison ASAP 😡😡😡

[@craigmildenberger5918]

There taking to damn long hurry up already damn

[@KatieAubrie]

​@@craigmildenberger5918everyone has rights when crimiminally charged. You would exercise those rights if you were charged too

[@ivangrotrian1798]

so confused from Canada we see invasion and most from old creepy joe and absolute chaos because of Biden and this fella says throw trump in prison for what@@KatieAubrie dems wont debate the second you say illuminutty their safe word.

[@mookins45]

@@KatieAubrie 'charged' lol trump is guilty as sin

[@edgarfigueiredo579]

Someone needs to explain how it takes a lifetime to get this guy into court with all of the shady business deals. Bankruptcies, a fake university an assault on the US capitol. Amd he has not spent 1 day in jail.

[@lashendawest7509]

We love your show jimmy kimmel

[@richardwarnock2789]

Vice Prez Soilent Marggerbel Green !!!😅😂

[@optimistprime7897]

I'm very disappointed that Jimmy Kimmel missed the opportunity to say "Christacean"

[@NSPresbyterian]

I was waiting for it too...

[@PleaseDontEatAnimals]

I'm very disappointed that he tried to make a joke out of animal cruelty.

[@lifebydefault]

@@PleaseDontEatAnimalsHe’s cruel to people as well so not a big surprise here … unfortunately.

[@SMGMissy]

As soon as he said crustacean, it clicked lol

[@swisstopia]

@@lifebydefaultHe’s cruel to the deserving ones.

[@Columbiastargazer]

A genius doesn’t call himself smart… a billionaire doesn’t call himself rich… but a dictator calls himself trump

[@charlesfenwick6554]

Would be dictator who must be stopped

[@williamteuthorn7413]

Someone has a troll.

[@jakemoeller7850]

​@@Andr50n• Get a life!

[@douglaswild3852]

Well said!! 👍🏼

[@tuyenle8107]

trump 4ever 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MrDerekMagnuson]

I was in the studio audience for this episode! 3/21/2024 😄

[@dceplay]

Did you get a fish?

[@PleaseDontEatAnimals]

Glad I wasn't. I'd be pissed if somebody put a half-dead fish who was needlessly killed for a stupid joke on my lap.

[@TheSanDiegan]

How do you not work “Christacean” into the bit?

[@devak45167]

The watermelon hippo joke got me more than I expected 😂