Trying to Parent Autistic Twins|Autism Family Vlog_339

[@Wildernessadventuresoz]

It’s been a while since I’ve seen your vids and your boys have grown up so much. My son is now getting his license and is almost 17. Funny when he was your boys age I didn’t think this would have ever happen. He is studying auto mechanics and has passed his cert 2 so well I’m so proud of him. It’s taken so much therapy, blood, sweat and tears but I’m saying this to give you hope that things can change and things do get better. It’s so very tough when they are young. You guys are in the thick of it that’s for sure.

[@amycannan914]

Thank you, all we can do is try our best. Sounds like your son is doing amazing!

[@AutismTwinsUs]

Hi Karen , haven’t seen you or Toby in a video for a while , hope your both doing well, sounds like it. Thanks for coming back and leaving us a comment , how’s the travelling going ? Adam

[@gregbouchard414]

U do a rally good job on here keep up there good work on here I hop we can be friends with u at well be good too do at I hop we can be friends with u and I hop we can do at if u can let me know if we can do at how there boys are doing at if we can be friends with u at well be good too do at if we can be friends with u and there boys too at well be good too do at if we can do at if we can be friends with u at well be good too do at if we can do at if we can be friends with u at well be good too do at

[@gregbouchard414]

U do a rally good job on here keep up there good work on here I hop we can be friends with u at well be good too do at I hop we can be friends with u and I hop we can do at if u can let me know if we can do at how there boys are doing at if we can be friends with u at well be good too do at if we can be friends with u and there boys too at well be good too do at if we can do at if we can be friends with u at well be good too do at if we can do at if we can be friends with u at well be good too do at

[@Faye.Louise22]

I'm so sorry I've not been here, I'm on nursing orientation and it's HEAVY 🙃 you are both incredible parents and it shows how much you love your boys 💙💙

[@amycannan914]

Hope it eases up faye x

[@lindablindt7265]

Its so hard. Well done you are great parents. It wears you down. Sending love to you.

[@amycannan914]

Thanks so much ❤

[@AutismTwinsUs]

Thank you Linda x

[@aaronwebb7090]

I can't speak from a parents perspective but I can speak from Matthews, kind of. That frustration will never go away but it is manageable, however you are doing the right thing by removing the source of frustration. For me the source of frustration was internal, I couldn't understand how someone could be better than me, and that would often lead to outbursts directed at them. What might help is stepping in as soon as you hear him becoming frustrated and getting him to stop playing so that he can talk though what he is feeling and what is making him feel that way. That way you can explain things to him while also allowing him to reset and calm down. Even now at nearly 40 I will exit games the moment I feel myself becoming frustrated but that took a lot of self learning. Now as for George. I think you are right in thinking that giving in will only exacerbate the problem and with modern advertising and the perpetual hunt for profits it will never be easy but perhaps a solution could be to choose a specific time frame between new toy purchases and then do your best to stick to that plan, but of course forgive indiscretions. Might it be possible to remove some older, less used, toys to somewhere he won't easily find them so that they can be given back at a later date? I know it isn't always possible since we all fixate on different things and I don't know what his fixations are specifically.

[@AutismTwinsUs]

Thanks for sharing your experience, I hope some subscribers view and read this post you’ve made , it all helps with awareness

[@xelaolive4181]

I have twin 10 year old girls. It’s been a battle with the whole loosing stuff and I have usually been the one to find whatever’s missing. However, more recently (don’t know how old your boys are) they moan about loosing something and come and ask me to help look but these days I’ve found these two things help 1) if there is time and no one is rushing out the door I don’t even tell them to try and find it. I basically say right step away from what you’re doing. There is no point trying to find it because most likely they have put it somewhere and forgotten If the child keeps getting upset at the lost thing throughout the day then firstly I make them retrace what they were doing. At some point someone will remember something and then hey presto, they find it themselves (if it’s that important) 2) if it’s rushed then I make sure the kids stop what their doing and promise to help find it later. By the time we’re home, they’ve forgotten BUT if they are adamant I follow through with promise and help Also, with autism, put things in clearly labelled boxes etc and ensure the kids help you go through their toys and organise them. This reduces the likelihood of loss and helps them to regain control-that’s what they like, in my experience Hope this helps

[@AutismTwinsUs]

@@xelaolive4181 same age as ours then , 10! Some great hints I’m sure we will be able to try and implement, thanks for your suggestions, we do have everything clearly organised, issue we have is George mainly will see a scene up with toys somewhere and lose certain todays in transit while setting a scene somewhere in the house , a lot of the time he does know where they are but thinks by shouting FIND he can sit there and watch us search which is something we’re obviously trying to discourage, thanks so much for your suggestions tho I’m sure they will be helpful for us and others reading the comments, Adam

[@hollyhodgson7253]

Buying them more toys is doing them a huge disservice. I'm 100% sure if you minimalised the toys and only bought new ones on special occasions, things would greatly improve for everyone. Parenting is the hardest thing we'll ever do. More toys or possessions is never the answer.

[@amycannan914]

We absolutely agree, we often go through and donate, throw away unused or broken toys. We try to keep a one in, one out rule. We are trying our best to navigate meltdowns due to wanting toys and don't constantly buy new. I don't have the money if anything, so George knows he doesn't get get what he wants just because he kicks off. It can become so difficult at times to know when to give in and when to fight the battles. We just take it a day at a time 😊

[@AutismTwinsUs]

@@hollyhodgson7253 we really have tried to minimise what we bring in , it difficult with boys who have a very short attention span and adhd where he’s craving different things all the time. Sometimes toys sometimes food etc , just hard to give them what they NEED to what they want , we are trying to do our best

[@xelaolive4181]

Also; whenever we get more toys ie Christmas, we have got into the routine of out with old in with new. If my kids haven’t played with something for more than a year, I tell them (don’t ask them) that we’re giving it away or selling it to be able to afford new things. I’ve found that with slightly autistic girls, the less choices the easier on them. Signposting too. Tell them a few days in advance that your going to have a tidy up and they will be easier about the changes

[@amycannan914]

We often clear out, we have to do it when George isn't aware, but we do it in a way that we only remove things we know he isn't using. We will put them in the shed and when we know he isn't looking for it we donate it 😊

[@AutismTwinsUs]

@@xelaolive4181 George has been asking for Christmas 🎄 for about 3 months , we do regularly clear out as amy has commented , your dead right though , we’re trying the best we can

[@nathanjw940]

Delayed processing causes me to feel like I am clicking but constantly loosing it's not by a lot but the slightest delay can really make video games hard. You didn't get as frustrated and struggling with emotional regulation ie. Meltdowns which is what is happening. The worst situation I am not going into the details online because it's worse than I am describing but I was refusing to go to bed until I won and fighting going to sleep. My brother had sleeping issues my mom tried to tell me not to wake him up so I started screaming to wake him up because of jealousy in the attention he was getting mixed with video game meltdown. I have thought about getting video games but realize that I have too many meltdowns over it and just can't have it available all the time. I can go and play a friend but alone it's a recipe for meltdowns. Matthew I can totally relate brother with much more severe autism and the meltdowns with games.

[@amycannan914]

I hope Matthew gets to the point where he recognises that he needs to come off it instead of it being a constant battle. I say to him it can't be enjoyable being mad at a game all the time 😕

[@nathanjw940]

@@amycannan914 if his processing speed is behind unfortunately he's going to struggle more than the typical person and if he has meltdowns which it sounds like he is having because he feels like he is hitting x one moment but really he's half a second behind. He's enjoying it by getting away and recharging his social battery. If I am trying to recharge and what I am using to recharge won't work good luck everyone.

[@nathanjw940]

I wish I could share what I went through when I was 9 so younger than Matthew but I am not doing it for the whole world to see the incident with my brother got worse than I am describing

[@AutismTwinsUs]

@@nathanjw940 again Nathan thanks so much for your insight , it is very helpful to us and others who may read these comments, emotional regulation is one of the things both the twins struggle with as I’m sure many children do , life seems simpler when I was there age

[@RetroGamerBitdo]

It's been a very long time since I commented and watched videos. Because our internet with account has many problems and I think now it's better on the way.

[@AutismTwinsUs]

@@RetroGamerBitdo Jens out friend thanks for coming back we missed your comments , we hope you are very well in Germany 🇩🇪

[@RetroGamerBitdo]

@@AutismTwinsUs Yes, I'm okay 👍 I had learned a lot in school the years. I hope you are very well in England plymouth 🇬🇧

[@elenadelawder6913]

Will George ever be able to get his driver's license someday?? I have asd level 1 & don't have mine

[@amycannan914]

I very much doubt George will ever be able to drive, unfortunately

[@AutismTwinsUs]

@@elenadelawder6913 very unlikely I think as Amys put 💚

[@kamrankhalid9797]

Very nice

[@AutismTwinsUs]

Thanks for watching 👀

[@kamrankhalid9797]

@@AutismTwinsUs anytime

[@RetroGamerBitdo]

Good morning 🌞 I'm super maker jens 🇩🇪

[@AutismTwinsUs]

@@RetroGamerBitdo Jens 👍🏾👌🇩🇪

[@deebedwell9877]

Do not find lost toys. Redirect their energy into finding their own stuff.

[@AutismTwinsUs]

We really do try , for a severely autistic child with limited communication it’s difficult, we’ve had to speak for him his whole life effectively. We do actively make him look himself. Agree with you we do , thanks for watching 👀 x

[@xelaolive4181]

I have twin 10 year old girls. It’s been a battle with the whole loosing stuff and I have usually been the one to find whatever’s missing. However, more recently (don’t know how old your boys are) they moan about loosing something and come and ask me to help look but these days I’ve found these two things help 1) if there is time and no one is rushing out the door I don’t even tell them to try and find it. I basically say right step away from what you’re doing. There is no point trying to find it because most likely they have put it somewhere and forgotten If the child keeps getting upset at the lost thing throughout the day then firstly I make them retrace what they were doing. At some point someone will remember something and then hey presto, they find it themselves (if it’s that important) 2) if it’s rushed then I make sure the kids stop what their doing and promise to help find it later. By the time we’re home, they’ve forgotten BUT if they are adamant I follow through with promise and help Also, with autism, put things in clearly labelled boxes etc and ensure the kids help you go through their toys and organise them. This reduces the likelihood of loss and helps them to regain control-that’s what they like, in my experience Hope this helps

[@amycannan914]

Hey, so the boys are 10. George will often lose things (he knows where it is a lot of the time) but we get screamed at to find it. So we get him involved as much as we can. We organise the toys regularly to make it easier to find things, but he will mix it up almost immediately. Everything is a learning curve, we are first time parents, to twins, to twins with additional needs, and sometimes we do what we have to to survive the day ❤

[@AutismTwinsUs]

@@xelaolive4181 thanks for your honest suggestions, every bit of knowledge will help us all so thanks for the time in commenting x