Trying to Rebuild After Trust Is Broken (is it even possible?) EP. 18

[@2PeepsOnAPod]

Love the conversation! Trust can be rebuilt IF and only IF both parties make a choice everyday to choose each other and fight for the relationship. With that there must be respect. With no respect it won’t work

[@kieba1995]

That convo about money could be a whole episode

[@oneonetwo1442]

Great episode

[@msjohari3218]

If I can't trust you on every level and every aspect.. there's no way I can put myself in someone's presence that will allow me to have you apart of my life.. TRUST is extremely important..I need that in order for me to be around you.. That includes Family Friends Associates as well as partner 💯

[@DedewRobinson]

This episode is definitely fire 🔥

[@kellirai35]

I'm so glad you made the statement that you have to determine who they are. When dealing with infidelity in a serious relationship the first question I would have to ask myself is who they are. Is this the type of person that chose to cheat as a way to handle conflict or because this is easier than being vulnerable if the answer is yes then the choice is simple. If the answer is no, or this is not a serious relationship then, for me, it would have to end.

[@kieba1995]

I agree. Im not built for rebuilding after cheating or breaking trust. It would be crazy for me as an honest and authentic person to settle for a liar and manipulator

[@TheShellaSpherePodcast]

Agreed!

[@shes_ah_truckher7716]

If you seen a texting conversation between and your partner..No sex involved. Just co-workers that built a bond. And they were texting each other saying things like “I miss you “ baby this, baby that…I love you…Blah blah , but no sex involved. Could you rebuild that trust?

[@saracee3003]

I am a person who rarely comments but I love this pod! And the other pod that you guys had with friends. A topic I would love to see explored would be Nelcia having her daughter on to talk about what it was like to have a gay parent. Or just her experience of you as a parent period. It was really nice to see your little cousin on the show and she spoke highly of you guys’ influence in her life. Have a great day!

[@NelciaofTheShellaspherePodcast]

This is a topic that was in the plans since the other podcast. However my baby don’t want to come on here lol but anything is possible

[@shinethreu]

I appreciate the evolution of yalls reflections as well as accountability in regards to your growth. That’s what makes these conversations introspective. Especially in the shellasphere✨ To bring it to astrology, if I’m not mistaken you alls plutos are in Libra and Libra rules our interpersonal relationships. Nelcias Pluto definitely inconjuncts her sun, her transformations are linked to her self image, ego, and being seen etc. and ainas sun may sextile Pluto -- To me, you alls relationships have truly transformed yall. On a deep level mentallly to where it adds to your soul’s knowledge, now (approaching your 3rd pinnacle), you prioritize going deep, having meaningful relationships that are sustainable and that you can show up authentically. Nothing less. I love yall though keep up the good conversations!✨✨ Ending question idea: how do you all make peace with aging? Do you feel you have outgrown certain things you used to love and how have you made peace with it?

[@VegMadeEasy]

I have forgiven someone for cheating and stayed. Without me doing anything to them in return. I didn't start questioning them. I didn't go through phones. I just went on as if it didn't happen. In hopes that we could repair what had been broken. And thinking me being the best person could help them be better. Ultimately it didn't work out with either person. One left me for the person they cheated on me with. And the other ended up breaking up with me wanting to be single. Both yrs later apologized . And going forward I know that when people show you who they are .. believe them the 1st time. And no one can "change" someone . They have to desire to change for themselves. They have to be willing to do the work on themselves. Currently if someone treats me less than I deserve I will forgive and leave.

[@GraceNcube]

Loved Aina’s book! Enjoying this pod, tons of value for sure.

[@TheShellaSpherePodcast]

Great to hear! Much love to you!

[@shanelledunbar7810]

I was late watching but love the episode! ❤

[@karmeishakashaun]

On forgiveness and staying, I think age is a factor, at least for me. In my 20s, I was a bit more hopeful that people would change and understanding of different circumstances. Most of my peers were all over the place, trying to figure out life, so a bit more grace was extended. In my 40s, it's a whole and absolute no. Who has time for that?! It's like I'm trying to build a house and here you come with a sledgehammer. We can't make any progress. Dishonesty, especially cheating, is not an accident. It doesn't just happen. And once you tell one lie, there will likely be more lies. We all know the scenarios with cheating. If it's someone you know, there have been inappropriate thoughts, comments/flirting, etc before anything actually happened, so it's premeditated. And even if it's a stranger, you have to open yourself/be receptive to cheating. By your 40s, you already know your tendencies and weaknesses. If you allow yourself to be in those situations, that's your own lack of discipline and integrity. You're making a choice, and it's not me, so why should I keep choosing you?

[@mswatts426]

I will forgive but I will not stay.

[@shes_ah_truckher7716]

Currently dealing with this with my partner. She was texting a co-worker. No sex was involved, but they were communicating with each other in ways they shouldn’t have been. Trust has been broken. I’m trying to rebuild from that..Although it was no sex involved, but I’m older than she is and I don’t have time for the games. Just be open and honest with me. So currently trying to rebuild.

[@breonnaclark-russell7425]

Thank you for addressing my question. I was absolutely trying to shoot my shot lol but I respect the fact that you’re back with your boo Marquita so I’m going to chill. I appreciate the content and look forward to next week’s conversation.

[@marylowery4096]

Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation.

[@_divinetiming_333]

Only changed behavior & consistency will make me stay and truly forgive. But there will have to be sum form of separation to give that person space to see if they gone actually do the work without me hovering 💯 I’m very similar i go into most relationships trusting that this person will show me who they are

[@Sheisshanay]

It’s definitely possible, I’ve done it with one person yet everytime we got to a good spot she would do her bs again. So after so long how many chances am I suppose to give for you to get it right especially when I gave you the manual? Yeah … We got a step closer every restart but the last time was the last time. Because how can I be the only one seeing the potential? Patience and listening to understanding is definitely the key in those situations but if both of yall are not willing to do the work at the same time … smh it’s not gonna work !

[@nikkyluv2244]

Dang… I felt this.. I’m right where you were… Every time we come back together we learn more about each other and grow closer intimately but yet she does something else to set us back and it’s like she’s forcing me to let her go

[@amberboomin.]

Great episode ✨🔥🔥

[@ayepee9775]

I don't think I can forgive and stay. I can forgive but im walking away

[@tdsiva9051]

Thanks I needed this

[@TheShellaSpherePodcast]

Thanks for tuning in!

[@faithmusser5219]

Past behavior is a predictor of future behavior. I forgave but I couldn't forget. So I couldn't go back. Many years later my ex told me that she lied to me about her age also. That was really bad for me having been groomed and abused as very young girl. She pursued me. She had just turned 17 I was 22. All along she said she was 19. Because of my earlier experience I was very aware of not wanting to make someone uncomfortable so I never pursued. It messed with my mind. I felt like a predator because a lot of my core values were that no one should ever be preyed upon and abused by another person. In my head she put me in the category of a person who went against everything I stood for. It made me physically sick when she told me all those years later. Because that is the last thing I would have ever done. The whole family knew she was lying and never said a word. It broke my spirit.

[@latashajordan2893]

Yes, I think you can Rebuild after Trust is Broken. It's just gonna take some time to Heal Within yourself.

[@DedewRobinson]

Nahhh once I walk away from a friendship it’s over ‼️‼️‼️‼️

[@DedewRobinson]

This!!!

[@Rita30rage]

It's possible to rebuild the trust. Address the reason and understand why your wife cheated. It can be a cry for help or a deeper issues so I think everyone deserves a second chance and thank you guys ❤❤❤✌️

[@kellirai35]

I know this is not a popular opinion but, the reason why I might, MIGHT be okay with having my partner cheat on me is I understand that I can't be everything my partner needs. And if a decision was made at a moment of weakness, it's possible that I could get past it. If my partner is willing to admit that this is what happened. Of course, I wouldn't share these revelations with my partner beforehand unless we agreed to have an open relationship.

[@Only1forL]

Once a person show you who they are believe them…

[@jaqkeejaq]

I've Forgiven & moved on from a Situationship, tho can't Trust Her to have a Friendship Again. WTF to Do??

[@HollE2300]

Topic idea: maneuvering a new relationship after heart break… it coincides with this topic…

[@suavean2647]

With me it took yrs we went separate ways he was with someone & I was but yrs l8r got back n relationship I don't think I can stay & rebuild

[@jaysteph3167]

Make a pt 2

[@karmeishakashaun]

LONG work week 🙄 So very ready to unwind and get into this episode!

[@YoThatsJo]

Bruhhh y’all gotta have a “a space for us” explanation or Atleast make it a ending question. Cmon now 😂 tell us the tea 🍵

[@TheShellaSpherePodcast]

lol we’re going to still drop that video

[@kemogang9530]

Can you make a video about kids not that yours but you been taking care of them but now you and the money ain’t together because she was cheating do you still help her with the kids or do you say fuck it and move on with your life

[@joniseh4891]

My parents healed their marriage after infidelity with counseling…..I’m not saying it’s the best choice but it is possible

[@jesusitacharles7091]

Es una situacíon dificíl.....