"Twice Exceptional & Proud: On Being Gifted with ADHD" Q&A Session for Parents of ADHD & 2E Students

[@marijabu]

I saw a video about 2E for the first time this morning. I sat down and cried. I identified wholly. At 68 I am trying to work with my therapist for an ADHD diagnosis. She is reluctant, maintaining that the symptoms are just my CPTSD. I ticked all the boxes as I learned about ADHD recently. I am an artist, writer, and photographer, costumer, and have several other talents that I have received praise for throughout my life. Yet my "failure to launch," with any one of these talents had left me distressed, depressed, and wondering what is wrong with me all of these years. Yes, I had a hard life, hence the CPTSD, but I always knew there was more, something I could not quite put my finger on. I had a WISC test done at 54. I scored 128 in spatial perception and high in verbal skills as well. My mathematical ability, however, was only 5th-grade level. I knew little about ADHD and nothing of 2E so I did not follow up. My health is good and my artistic ability is intact. I still want to try to do something marvelous. I find that I am begging for a diagnosis and seeing quite the run-around. I thought it was my age but I have learned that help is not plentiful for this condition. At least, in my heart, I know what is "wrong," or just different, now. I'm neurodivergent as all get-out and I am quite ok with that knowledge. I just want to accomplish something before it's too late. Thank you for your very informative video. I quickly subscribed.

[@carmenm4479]

Oh my goodness, your comment rings to my core. I’m 42 and have major “failure to launch.” I have spent my entire life trying to figure out “what’s wrong with me.” In elementary school my IQ was tested at 145. My math and reasoning are strong, but I’m a very slow reader. I also could never pay attention to the teacher so I would just spend hours and hours working on my own to learn the material to make up for it. My fourth grade teacher intentionally gave me lower grades than my actual performance because she said I “wasn’t trying hard enough” based on my IQ. I’ve struggled in school my whole life, and had many, many sobbing meltdowns. Eventually went on to get degrees in psychology and neuroscience, finishing at the top of my class by studying for HOURS. (also had a nervous breakdown toward the end) Despite high marks, still never felt like I was enough. I struggle with debilitating perfectionism. I am currently a waitress because going on further with my education terrifies me because of the emotional toll. I feel like a failure. Recently my boyfriend sent me a parody song about ADHD and told me he thought I might have it. The video talks about misplacing items all over the house, only having two modes “on or off,’ but also being very creative (I’m a painter and dance choreographer also). After researching and coming across 2E I sobbed for 2 straight hours. I’m so scared of going to a therapist and feeling misunderstood and invalidated like you mentioned with the run around. I don’t want to be a waitress. It feels like such a waste of my ability. I want to do something marvelous with my life, but I struggle so much with everyday tasks. It feels like a boulder lifted off of me to maybe understand what might be happening and why I’ve struggled so much. I’m hoping that I can learn a lot about 2e and strategies that will help me achieve what I want to in this stage of my life. It touched me so much to see someone older than me still longing to achieve greatness they know is trapped inside. I really wish you the best on your quest and am rooting for you to fulfill your potential and to feel seen for what you know is there.

[@Rollwithit699]

Have been extremely gifted in many subjects I'm very interested in, only average in subjects that bored me. Extremely high SAT scores. Owned a very successful business in a detailed medical business for 34 years. Very empathic, can read the room and am aware of each person's emotional status when I enter a room. Was diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD last year at 68. I still have real trouble focusing on subjects that bore me, and excel at projects or skills I'm obsessed with. My sons call me O.Z. for "overzealous"...just now learning about 2E.

[@mmcmiddlechild]

Wow, I tried to get tested for cptsd, but there was no specialist here in this country ..your story sounds very similar to mine...you give me hope!... I'll chase it down again! 👍

[@Emanu2018]

Here too my son is just 6 diagonisis with adhd but I don't think

[@AndreaOverall]

You have in so many ways just told my story ❤

[@blievelovedream]

I was tested as gifted as a child, but just diagnosed with ADHD at 38 earlier this year after my son's diagnosis last year. School was fairly easy, but noticed it harder working on my Masters degrees. I have had people question my ADHD because of being "smart". I have found many people do not quite understand ADHD fully. I am learning to even embrace it now that I know for sure.

[@carolbryan5921]

Bless you. I know it’s hard.

[@alfinou_13targaryen]

You've just summed up my life! I'm sending virtual hugs!

[@FA-kt3is]

My daughter is almost 12 and I still try to understand her. She was assessed by psychologist. Her visual abilities are above average , everything else is average. But she is struggling with language development. No one can understand what's going on with her. So she is diagnosed with learning disability in language development. Despite that she is bilingual child who talk, read and write in both languages. She is just struggling with grammar in both languages. Her piano teacher tell me she is musically gifted. Math comes easy to her. Now facing junior high school I decided to homeschool her. I hope I can individualized her schooling to help her overcome her troubles...

[@wordforger]

I have not been diagnosed with ADHD, but the more I learn about it, the more sense it makes. Even before I started suspecting it, I'd say "It's like I've got a ten terabyte hard drive running on 256k RAM." Because yeah, I've got all the knowledge there. My brain is an encyclopedia of random, interesting facts. But if I try to access the information or keep it at the front of my mind it's difficult and takes longer than a lot of my peers. If the work was timed, I'd do worse on it than you'd expect compared to all my other work. Multiplication minutes were the bane of my existence. Even after everyone else in my class started getting all or most of them, I'd only get a row or two, yet I'd have the best or second best grade on every single math test. Learning that ADHD isn't simply about being unable to focus, but about lacking control over what you focus on makes it make so much more sense. I mean, I was almost always able to pay attention in class when the teacher was up there giving the lesson because I was interested in it. I could finish my class work because it was structured with fewer distractions and, again, I was usually pretty interested. But when I'm in "The Zone" I am unlikely to register a single thing you just said. They sent me back for a hearing test in fifth grade because I kept having to ask for repeats of directions. The nurse said: "She doesn't have a hearing problem. She has a listening problem." And yeah... As soon as homework started taking longer, it got harder for me to keep up with it and I ended up having some problems with my grades because of it.

[@blacdiamond2334]

Literally just the other day I was using your analogy of ten terabyte hard drive and 256k RAM but slightly different (did not think as a direct numerical value but rather a ratio because I was explaining this idea to someone who did not know much about computers); this message is the most relatable message in a while I seen! I myself am quite good at maths BUT only once I repeated the course in school as I could not bring myself towards attention as I could not control my focus because I was not obsessed about it (yet hopefully), thank you for helping me by explaining your story as I was able to connect to mine and recognize myself more 😊

[@megshea43]

“Within Person Difference.” This is perhaps the most important, nuanced, and overlooked aspect of individuals’ assessments-rarely identified and even more rarely addressed and treated in any meaningful way. This is so important. Thank you for your diligent work to bring awareness to these misunderstood struggles for so many exceptional people.

[@FortheBudgies]

You are taking to gifted people and using a made up term to dumb it down. It's individual variation.

[@xornand6833]

I recognized my self as 2E with executive paralysis in my early 20s , although I didn't have a name for it , I wrongfully underestimated the long term Impact of ADHD , now at 30s still struggling with proper diagnosis and effective medication , thank you for talking about the topic of 2E

[@jonnyjazzz]

I am just going through this now. due to dwindling performance at work (changes to role). I took an ADHD assessment through a psychologist and found that I am both highly gifted and have ADHD, so I'm hoping this opens up a path that I can navigate to open more areas at which I can excel.

[@SamanthaEcho]

Thank you so much for posting this. I am an adult with a 2e profile: I was a child prodigy singer and always had excellent verbal skills and emotional intelligence/intuition BUT I always had slow processing speed, poor spatial relations and coordination issues. The interesting and perhaps challenging thing is that I know some people have the reverse profile: for example, my brother has autism with severe social challenges but he has always been excellent at math and science. Because my social skills and verbal skills were well-developed, most people didn’t see how much I struggled, and whenever I ran out of time on a test or turned in late assignments or avoided certain tasks that required lots of organization, I was accused of being lazy. My experience of being 2e is an experience oh basically feeling like an alien. I am grateful that there is finally a conversation around this and that I don’t feel so much like I have to hide anymore.

[@harenokaori]

i tested as gifted and “quirky” always scored in the highest percentile in language arts and sciences but failed algebra 1 two times, recently diagnosed with adhd at 29, a lot of things are making sense now

[@iomoon3608]

Omg… when I looked at ADHD Reddit, it was an eye-opener. I was so ashamed of my traits that reading other peoples’ experiences was so freeing!

[@handeekin6778]

My son took Wisc test recently during his ADHD assessment. His perceptual reasoning index is over 99 percentile but his verbal comprehension index is only 46 percentile; and his FSIQ over 90 percentile. He is also diagnosed with ADHD and have mild anxiety. He is a very creative and artistic boy, can create amazing drawings and spend hours without distraction while drawing but have a terrible handwriting. I am still trying to understand him, his way of seeing and navigating the world.

[@user-bd4bo4tb8u]

Psychiatrists aren’t all adept, either. Many list ADHD as a specialty and just prescribe. Ive felt like I know more about ADHD than they do so many times. (I’m NOT bragging. I’ve had to read and learn for years to try to figure out how to first to help myself, and then last seven years I’ve either tried to teach my son EF skills-every time we moved-but ended up just being his EF out of desperation. I could learn and retract him his work pretty easily, but I couldn’t clear a place to work or find a pencil or have the right groceries for anything. It was insane.

[@cleardayify]

I have never thought about the school system so much until we had one very neurotypical child and one very neurodivergent child. They just need very different approaches. Both become lost and frustrated in whatever works for the other. But they both do great in what works for them, they get there totally differently, but they both get there. At least at home. I saw my NT child get incredibly frustrated when unable to keep up with the big picture, out-of-the box thinking exercices designed for our ND child and I felt so sad bc they didn't need to. But isn't that how all other learning styles must feel every. single. day?

[@cathispooner-renewingheart7783]

Thank you for sharing this information. You’ve described my son and as he’s entered young adulthood the challenges have been overwhelming. As a mental health professional, I’m really frustrated with how often this 2E profile is misdiagnosed. Giftedness and ADHD is often overlooked and misunderstood. Great information. Loved this.

[@rachelcollins7686]

Feeling very sad and understanding of my 7yr old. I had my IQ tested years ago because of my extreme struggle with ADHD Mines 147. But the ADHD with it has been a constant struggle regardless of intelligence. My son is very much the same way. And it's causing him depression and sadness being different from his peers. And the school system is failing him. Due to the ADHD they want to brush him off. But he is such a a intelligent little human. I know the struggle it takes more work for me to take what's in my mind and get the focus to use it and succeed. And I want to help my son flourish and live to his full potential. Please help!

[@rachelcollins7686]

I am 2E and it's so hard as an adult! And I'm so worried, I do not my son to struggle the way I have

[@Handle8844]

Have you found an effective medication for him, yet?

[@MikeFuller-d4d]

My Mensa IQ is 116 ( SD 15 ) and I was placed in remedial sets at school.

[@daganbanks]

I didn't get properly diagnosed till 47, Even though my mom was told earn I was in first grade, I had ADD. Being 2E WITH ADHD and no prior treated diagnosis as an adult, males it 4 times as hard to get diagnosed. Throw in RSD and my diagnosis were all over the place. Better late than never, but I imagine what magnet school and college scholarships would have been like. On top of better relationships, more friends, being a better dad, better job stability, no being on disability and those intrusive suicidal ideations. But I made it through and can help my son and others

[@maeaziz5717]

I was graduated from medical school, and master and then get dignosed on my third year doctoral research. I am aware of what is important, and that was my hyper fixation, which was all and then none for any other non important stuff, because no dopamine left!!! Then ending with crying to sleep for not doing other important stuff

[@DonnaMcMasterRiver]

I wasn’t diagnosed until two years ago at age 70, but I’ve always struggled with trying to take on more jobs or projects than I could handle. I’m like someone who can juggle two balls very well, but gets sloppy with three and falls apart at four. It’s very hard, because even now I’m always discovering something new and highly interesting that I want to pursue, which means I’ve left a long trail of abandoned efforts behind over the years.

[@jolene8497]

My son was recently tested and diagnosed as twice exceptional. You’re video really resonated with me, both for my son and myself. How do I go about getting tested as an adult? We are both dyslexic and dysgraphic.

[@rubyglasspool2155]

I’d love to hear some content on the way that crisis or adversity affects a gifted adult. So why is it that gifted people ‘seem’ to have less resilience to difficult events than non gifted people. Why would we be so existentially thrown from a challenging event or threat? And what can we do to stabilise ourselves and cope better?

[@FortheBudgies]

I was never identified as gifted even as an honors student. I think the fact that my ADHD caused me to struggle masked my true intellectual abilities. I just don't think like other people. I think much faster and make connections others don't. I do not know how to translate to other people.

[@FortheBudgies]

Yes I live with this as struggle finding content targeted to adults. For Goodness sake, please create content on this that isn't about children. Adults have these issues as well and far more expectations and responsibilities.

[@Jana_14320]

This is incredibly enlightening

[@kshow5194]

I’m a school therapist and o have a student with a recorded IQ of 149, has ADHD, and ASD. He is struggling in many areas. Please, how can I help him? He is in 9th grade and testing out of many high school classes. He is very low in the areas of social and emotional.

[@susiesus]

Thank you so so so much for being you, and for this great video! I have a question.. I believe my daughter is 2Eadjacent haha! Is it possible to be 2E with being not quite "gifted" which I understand to be IQ of 130 and over... we have never had my daughter's IQ tested and I believe it to be probably slightly above average... not that high. Is there anything like 2E for that? Because she is everything in this video to a T! Except for the high iq

[@shegoeslocofoco]

Want to note; I think OCD and anxiety is mixed up with OCPD and OCD in the answer to a question asked btw. OCPD is ego syntonic, that is, people experiencing rituals or 'obsessive traits', rigid thinking and specific ways of doing things have no internal distress while experiencing them. it's usually people round them point it out if at all due to their inflexibility and relational stress this over control brings.. OCD is the one where the rituals, obsessions and compulsions are based in anxiety/fear and does not feel good even to the individual thus ego dystonic.

[@DLusby]

I'm not sure I know where or when to say that someone might be "gifted" other than in the general sense of the word. I get that IQ tests are just tests, that one can also be creative or have other "gifts"... How would a school system for example, say that one kid qualifies as "gifted" or 2E and another doesn't? Without getting into what I may wonder or speculate about my kids, I also wonder about myself. Maybe I might be 'borderline', maybe...? Close enough to feel it but not so much as to qualify by most measures maybe? I don't know.

[@dalelane1948]

apparently top 10% percentile is counted as gifted according to current criteria (part of the everyone gets a medal movement). When I was young gifted meant 1 in a thousand or the top 0.1% which I believe is what it really means. IQ test are a great indicator (if you're from a western country) but if there is dyslexia or other factors that heavily favour particular types of intelligence (eg great at math , crap at language) then the Wise tests can show those strengths.

[@pegah1942]

What about the 3 Es.. or 4? .. It cannot be be only being gifted, and AD(H)D, I have no doubt that I am text book version of two more triats/syndroms, as I am with both ADHD and "gifted'' (as they call it!!); ... These overlaps and lack of one label (pff) for me instead of 4 (at least), only show BUGS in psychological theories in my opinion! ...

[@irule387]

Excellent.

[@FortheBudgies]

My step son is gifted with ADHD and I suspect is somewhere on the autism spectrum and trans. Bring trans is the least difficult issue for him and us to navigate. He's seen 2 psychiatrists and both have put him on antianxiety meds instead of ADHD meds and it really angers me. I'm not his parent and am staying out of it but I know it's delaying him getting the treatment he needs.

[@JohnNumber5]

2e leads to anxiety

[@tangowhiskygirl]

I'm not trusting the science quoted here. As far as the research I've done, there's no notable difference in IQ for people with adhd and people without. If anything, the studies seem to point more towards people with adhd having a slightly lower than average IQ (maybe because it's tested with a test 😉). We're currently having our five year old evaluated for Adhd. He has previously been labelled gifted because he's at least 4-5 years ahead of his peers in math, and most other academic subjects. He does however not obey his teacher, won't sit still, has bad fine motor skills and emotional outbursts. Being good at school isn't nearly as important as being obedient at school. So after being excited, thinking he would have an easy life being so clever, we now worry that he won't even make it through grade school.

[@FortheBudgies]

Your kids probably should be on medication. Research shows that the brains of children who take stimulants develop more typically and with less impalement in executive function and emotional regulation, etc. It is very likely that putting children on stimulants is the best thing for their long term and short term success.

[@gyanprakashraj4062]

SELF OBSESSED...