9 lessons on love, from a retired cool girl 🤍

[@notmehakatall]

20 mins of big sister advice I needed

[@TwinkleStanly]

🥹🥹🥹🥹

[@notmehakatall]

the way a person deals with you when theyre going through something will literally show you how they are. its so true!

[@TwinkleStanly]

YEP

[@TheAlphonso8688]

Babe ur so right I dated a guy for 11 yrs...ultimately I noticed all of the efforts were from my side Nd he wouldn't commit anything, And when I told him let's get off gracefully.. and also I found out that he went to see girls for arrange marriage without telling me..And when confronted him he was so aggressive and trying to put it all over me as if it was my mistake . He started abusing me bcoz he's got caught now. Thats when I realised I was with a wrong person. I left him immediately ❤❤😊it was the best decision in my life. I'm happily married now..had an arrange marriage but lucky to find a man who loves me like crazy..recently blessed with a baby girl❤😊.

[@DesreeKrause]

Not having clarity in a relationship is a red flag, this is true.

[@TwinkleStanly]

yepppp

[@Sheisme120]

I very often spot red flags immediately when it’s in a friend’s relationship. This is one of the reasons why it’s so important for girls in relationships to not ditch their friends.

[@notmehakatall]

feeling bad about keeping boundaries is so real. I feel like no one talks about it enough. In the process you also end up losing so many people because people are so intimidated by boundaries they just assume you just take everything seriously, cant take jokes etc etc and now you look bad :/

[@rikitadsouza6410]

I needed this video. I just got out of a relationship with an avoidant man who toyed with my feelings. Slept with me after the breakup but had no intention of getting back with me. He played me and i played myself by thinking that lack of clarity meant there was still a chance for us to be together. Im so disgusted after this experience that i know im gonna stay single for a long while.

[@kavyabalakrishnan111]

How are you doing now?

[@kulsilu00]

This got me so off guard. I broke up with my ex a month back . And u are literally describing everything he used to do and i used to feel. Thank you so much. There's so much clarity to everything i used to feel and all this is gonna help me move on faster.

[@TheAlphonso8688]

Move on girl...life is short....❤hugs😊

[@TwinkleStanly]

Omg... wishing you all the best!

[@kulsilu00]

Update: i got back together with him. Now I'm back to facing all these exact issues minus the cheating. So came back to this video for some big sis advice. But I also can't let go because that would be more painful

[@madhujayaraman8630]

@@kulsilu00 Girlll!!!! Dont!! A good relationship shouldn’t give you this kind of pain!!

[@r.h.8867]

Thomas Erickson has written a book about your ex - ‘Surrounded by Narcissists’. This video basically summarizes that book.

[@SamreenVanu]

It literally felt like I am listening to an elder sister who genuinely cares for me and does not want me to go through all the pain she’s experienced. Thank you so much for what you do ❤

[@zn7zn7zn7]

So impressed to see a fellow malayalee not only making mistakes but learning and evolving! I myself had to make some strong decisions. There will be others who come to test you again. Hold your values and standards strong and never lose your momentum to be the bestest version of yourself. Meanwhile keep inspiring other young girls. Well done hon! I really love gen zs❤ They are here to create a better purely with their instincts!

[@-aiswarya-]

My ex used to show me screenshots of texts from girls trying to get him, and I thought to myself 'oh everybody flirts with him but he's committed to me 🤡 little did I know, there was more to that 🤡

[@Nikita-x8y]

Babe, Thanks for putting out there. I am taking this as a validation that I felt the same thing when I was going through this exact same situation. Now , while listening to you and reflecting on it and feel grateful that I took that plunge and ended. Love love

[@ziluaq2583]

I’m a mom of 2 grown daughters, thank you for sharing your story, you are wise beyond your years, great advice!

[@ruchanagarkar3880]

i broke up with a very toxic guy who i was on and off with for a while and lately i had been questioning my decision about leaving him but OMGG this video is what i needed to see....it really opened my eyes on how toxic masculinity looks like and all the things i had to suffer because of him.....they always cover up their toxicity with saying things like "u triggered my anger" or "u did things that make me mad".....but in reality its him who is so emotionally immature to handle his own self......he told me about the problems between him and his ex in the beginning and i realised that it was his fault and he is just bad-mouthing her now....the way a guy describes his ex girlfriend and past relationships says so much about him FR.....i just feel really bad for the girl that ends up with him.....no girl deserves an insecure man cos he will always project his insecurities on youu!!!! and he will always be insecure of seeing u grow.... better stay alone than with someone who wont let u suceed.

[@neelimakamtam5303]

I was going through youtube highlights where you were telling you dont like asking ppl to watch your videos coz that costs others time but you got no other option i felt you… so here i chose to watch this one video of yours which is terrifying and just the only thing i have to remind myself every single time i get disturbed i have been going through lot about my last relationship with the one like yours thats a family frd and its been very tough time for me till day. I am just connected to every single thing you mentioned and sometimes we knew many things our gut feelings are something which tries to help us and we rather choose others more than what we believe or notice. I could relate every thing that you mentioned in video and something which i believe which your mom told you that is something everyone should understand and have it no matter what.. again Thank you very much.for this video and hope you have a great journey here in. youtube just grow glow and blow our mind with all the good content. we love you the way you are 🥀🫶🏽

[@noimisha]

OMG this is my whole mind speaking out loud??!! MY GOD the whole thing is so fucking accurate!! Cheers to us we are the rare ones existing in this cruel world!! Hugs to you!! ❤❤❤

[@nr7507]

Thanks a lot for saying ' we are not crazy '. I was called crazy by an ex almost similar to yours. Thanks a lot for this video. ❤️

[@jaishrisidigonde2635]

Could listen to you all day❤…everything is so relatable ….

[@TwinkleStanly]

ahhh thank you so much!

[@ishabanjara1407]

U don't how much u helped me through this video..i thought am I the only girl who is facing these shitty things..and there are lots of questions in my head and i got answers just because of u ..i don't know how to thank u but i really just want to say that u are the bestest person I have seen who is sharing these things..which I think needed most..thank u soo much for sharing your experience ☺️☺️☺️☺️💌💌💌❣️❣️❣️❣️

[@Pamssangma1293]

Gone through similar experience and the way he left me is much worst

[@beccaaa.x]

the one about confusion called me out omg!!! thank you for this advice 😇

[@patriciaserrano1875]

Thank you for this video ❤I can relate to everything you talked about and nobody prepares for this

[@priyannkasandhu6312]

So thankful to have known that I’m not crazy for thinking all this

[@Vartikkaa]

I am literally going to write these down for my right person. OMG. Like I agree to this a 100%

[@khushiverma1900]

Some really real advice I needed ❤feeling grateful to have found your page

[@TwinkleStanly]

🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@shashankb1271]

Omg mam. I so relate to this. They have a word also for it I guess.. Breadcrumbing. Just keep enough for them to keep coming. Us being long distance and everything, I never could really figure out what was going on in her mind. Finally ended it 2 months back. You should ask if your squad or girls can make a podcast. I mean if u people are comfortable with it

[@preethas2782]

This video is really impressive.Gurl I love this version you have transformed yourself into 🔥🔥🔥.Trust me greater things are on your way.

[@ft.reethi]

more power to u sis🔥i hope u get through ur hard times

[@Hemaa25]

Tis gurl is the lyf pill I needed

[@yashitapoojary5076]

Dudeeeeee this is so fucking relatable. Each and every word is so relatable to me. I love listening to you I always feel like you are exactly like me but in a different human form💯 We need more such videos💕

[@TwinkleStanly]

Omg thank you sister xxxxx

[@taylorhenderson7674]

Thank you ❤❤, for saying the things I already know. Just needed to hear it from somebody else.

[@thekhushisharma7477]

Omg this is completely relatable to me every single line of yoursss!!!

[@the_towngirl2698]

Elder sister I always wanted😭tysmmmm God bless you 🌸🌸🌸🌸

[@TwinkleStanly]

💝💝💝

[@Mosibeer4u]

Thank you for sharing. As a guy I know you ex's type I have a few friends who are still momma's boy and have not grown up into men

[@aishurao6093]

Omg.The things uve mentioned in this video literally reminds me of all the things i went through with a guy i was really interested in ,would act like and when i think about it my intuition did scream at me the second i spoke to him the first time and yet through the time we were in touch i just couldnt make sense of some his actions because he was soo vague.Thank you so much making me know he s just like any other average shitty guy.Also twinkle have to tell u as a fellow GULF SOUTH INDIAN NRI kid whose now an adult ,I love ur videos and ur one of the few of us thriving on social media and love how beautifully ur representing us ❤ KEEP IT UP 🎉🎉

[@peace_513]

I am just 20 and i had my frst brkup....💔💔 so relatable!

[@notmehakatall]

I’m so happy for you for feeling so content in yourself atm

[@aasthamishra2463]

It’s important for people to make videos like this! Thank you so much for this single-hood book because trust me a lot of girls needs to know this!! I went down for therapy sessions 2 months before and that’s when I got a hold of these things. Since then I’ve been happily single and working on myself like you said with a clear head! 🫶🏼 also thank you for sharing your experience and I’m happy for you 😊💕 that you have your afterglow now🫶🏼

[@TwinkleStanly]

Thank you so much! Hope you're doing ok x

[@debashreemukherjee1602]

Hey Twinkle, love your content! Please try to be more active on yt if possible! We need youuu here & everywhere!! Much love ❤❤❤

[@manar4120]

Thank you babe, I did the same. Needed this

[@kanikakasana6518]

Such a great compilation🧿

[@spandanabandaru3427]

Thank you for this video, I felt tears at end of this video. But that’s ok!

[@TwinkleStanly]

😙😙

[@parulsharma1558]

your words are exactly what I needed to hear. Thankyou!! ❤️

[@TwinkleStanly]

🥰🥰🥰

[@Monica-in6mk]

thank you for this♥️

[@Surbhixx]

You’re so relatable

[@liyanlobo]

this is easily one of the most relatable videos I’ve watched on here. I love this! 🤍 Also #7 - the accuracy!!!!

[@TwinkleStanly]

thank you sm ❤‍🩹❤‍🩹❤‍🩹

[@sankirthanas9460]

Most relatable!!! You are literally a goddess!!! But I just have this one question- You said he was your best friend and was so close to your family and your circle so, How was it able to completely cut him off from your life...?? (dealing with the same situation, so I need help, Sis) The only thing that is bothering me now is that even if I stop him from my life I'll get to see him quite often / almost every day... So how will it be possible to face that person like nothing had happened...

[@aakratiagarwal4061]

I needed this, thanks❤

[@stateofprose]

I LOVE THIS,make this a series❤❤❤❤❤

[@TwinkleStanly]

!!!!

[@notmehakatall]

we need more rants!

[@preetishivani3416]

Love love love this! Can you also do lessons on friendship? Would love watching it

[@varsharaut1213]

Needed to hear this!!!!!!!!!!

[@noorzafar6505]

Sending love your way. You are so beautiful MaShaaAllah. ❤

[@divyam1741]

Thank you ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@veronicadumenil]

This is so good ❤ loving these videos! 💕 we need more time with our big sis 😗

[@aakretyfuyal999]

After hearing you I realized that how he unknowingly manipulated me

[@Thatjollygurll]

Need more of this pls

[@mahambaloch9966]

Love love love this ❤

[@mahimaakubattin4012]

So so good!! ❤

[@mahambaloch9966]

Also why is Ur voice so soothing ❤mashallah 🥹

[@notmehakatall]

its always the cool girls that are traumatized

[@TwinkleStanly]

frrrr

[@nk8368]

Thank u soo much🙏

[@saleemakhtar87]

Thanks for frank sharing.....

[@notmehakatall]

your mums advice will now stick with me too

[@haradikabulchandani6660]

Idk what to say except, I love you ❤️

[@notmehakatall]

trauma bonding is my fav

[@aakretyfuyal999]

You just got a new subscriber❤❤

[@nins7457]

I just can’t believe that as ur friend he didn’t have no respect or decency for you to not break your heart and not cheat on you…like wtf….

[@thedelishfoody]

So so good…👍🥰

[@priyannkasandhu6312]

So fuckin relatable man!!!

[@MahimaLizbeth]

LOVEEEEEE THISSSSS

[@violetabinta1558]

suuuch a goooood video, well done

[@AHMEDGAIUSROME]

hypergamy is a thing, be aware of it Tame it, don't deny it Passion is rarely healthy, interest is and love grows sometimes from it and most likely lasts a lifetime !

[@sharonsunny811]

Don’t get into a relationship if there is no intention of getting married!!

[@MrBlackjack456]

Title: "Lessons from a Retired Cool Girl: Insights from a Relationship Journey" Summary: In this KZbin video, the speaker shares valuable lessons and insights she gained from her past relationships, particularly her most recent one. She reflects on the mistakes and experiences that have shaped her perspective on dating and self-worth. Key Takeaways: 1. **Confusion Is Not Love**: The speaker emphasizes that confusion in a relationship is a clear sign that something is wrong. It's essential not to ignore confusion and to recognize it as a sign that the person you're with may not be genuinely interested in you. 2. **Don't Be the Cool Girl**: Trying to be the "cool girl" by suppressing your emotional needs and desires to fit someone else's expectations is not healthy. It's essential to be authentic and not lose yourself in a relationship. 3. **Set Boundaries and Standards**: The speaker highlights the importance of setting boundaries and standards in a relationship. Without these, it becomes easy for someone to take advantage of your time and emotions. 4. **Trust Your Gut**: Trusting your instincts and gut feelings about a person is crucial. Often, your intuition can provide valuable insights into a situation, even if you doubt yourself. 5. **Listen to Your Friends**: Friends can provide valuable outside perspectives on your relationship. They may see things more clearly because they are not emotionally involved. It's essential to consider their advice and observations. 6. **Emotional Vulnerability**: It's not your responsibility to beg someone to open up emotionally. In a healthy relationship, both partners should be willing to communicate and be vulnerable without pressure. 7. **The Wrong Person Can Change You**: Being with the wrong person can lead to changes in your behavior and personality that you may not like. It's crucial to recognize when a relationship is causing you to become someone you don't want to be. 8. **Don't Ignore Red Flags**: When something is unclear or doesn't make sense in a relationship, it's a sign that something may be wrong. Don't gaslight yourself into believing everything is fine when you have valid concerns. 9. **Recurring Returns Are Not Compliments**: If someone repeatedly enters and exits your life, it's a sign of a lack of respect for your time and emotions. You should not settle for someone who treats you this way. 10. **You Are Good on Your Own**: The speaker emphasizes the importance of being content with yourself and your life before seeking a relationship. Self-discovery and personal growth are valuable, and you don't need someone else to complete you. The video provides viewers with insightful lessons on self-worth, boundaries, and the importance of recognizing red flags in relationships. It serves as a reminder that personal growth and happiness are achievable on one's own.

[@amt2511]

This sounds like someone I was with. I wonder if it’s the same guy.

[@duamirza2340]

Big sister advise ❤️❤️❤️

[@notmehakatall]

so out of context but love your nails ❤

[@TwinkleStanly]

YASSSS THANK YOU

[@sreelakshmi5641]

Just make more videos like this please

[@off-course]

Do you think it is a good idea for women to name and shame such guys? I have known women who have named their exes and called them out in in their common social groups. Not sure how good or bad that decision is. What do you think?

[@Urmomlolllllll]

Absolutely a good idea! Obviously, their identities need to stay private and no real names should be used. Sharing experiences will help: - people who might be going through similar circumstances - people who weren’t aware and therefore potential victims - people who have loved ones that are currently trapped in such situations

[@APatriarch]

Can i get in contact with this guy - I need to take some lessons :)

[@harshithasuresh130]

Hey can you make video of accepting our brown skins. I study in uni and people bully me for my color.

[@ElliottJMiller]

I would have just chose you and 3 more. Edited: Pause! Crazy girlfriend checking and hacking phones. Lol

[@priyadarshini5777]

❤

[@irshaadsingh6435]

I do admire you and your life lessons you have learned, wish you all the best . I would like to meet one day if your interested?

[@notmehakatall]

❤❤❤

[@JIYARAJVANSHI]

Beautiful 🤩

[@user-ne6ml3cm8s]

Just reduce the spped of the speech...it would be absolutely perfect ❤

[@jeontan2927]

could hear you speak for hours

[@TwinkleStanly]

I love you 😭

[@dexter1609]

alpha widow

[@roushnigupta6054]

May I know your age mam😅

[@gokulnarayanan6649]

sad state of modern women.

[@Urmomlolllllll]

Right? Bring back the days, where women were their husband’s property! What’s next? Equal education? Equal pay? Own bank account? Ridiculous!

[@babygrlforu]

you're legit our indian version of thewizardliz. this video has everything a partner should remember 100%. so impressed.

[@TwinkleStanly]

HAHAHAH thank youuuu 🥰

[@anumathew5164]

absolutely love this!! keep going. 🩶 insane how similar our traumas are! 😂

[@TwinkleStanly]

trauma bonds 4 life

[@princessbanana8048]

It’s so crazy how many girls go through the exact same thing with men 🥲

[@arityaa]

Wow Really needed someone to shout out all these things to me 🫂

[@moonlit3776]

thank you for this video, i feel so validated after watching, thank you so much ❤

[@Reshma_Nair_10]

❤

[@Asive.Malolo.Sigabi]

❤❤❤❤