A rant about People who treat their kids like Servants | Michie Rambles

Hey guys sorry if there are weird edits in this video/ stuff that seems to be a bit out of place. I had over 5+ hours of footage for my half and Pastel's half. Since they were both stream edits. As well as having issues with my editing software. This was also audio I filmed back before Xmas of 2018.
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#TwistedDisaster

[@Twist3dDisast3r]

OK SO GREAT oue; The fucking video didn't render Properly which is what I was scared of. Sorry at the point where it is my Footage that the layout is Off. If it didn't take 15 hours to upload another video I would edit it and fix it now. So instead Im just gonna leave it as is. Sorry wont happen again. Im just really sick of the Premier update. It is messing with how I do things

[@izzypanda9517]

Any editor updating can throw you off when things change; I wish you luck to getting used to the update!

[@Twist3dDisast3r]

@@izzypanda9517 Thank you

[@bobsmith9759]

omggg it really is a killer!!! anyway good luck!!

[@averymartin1327]

I hate how you aren't allowed to have any problems because you're "too young."

[@lilians.402]

I know right! Currently I'm 13, I have a house key, no phone My school is across the street, and I know a lot of people around, but not very well. Earlier today, I came home after school, dropped my stuff off, and went back to school for a book club I'm in, a thing both of my parents know. When I came home, the door was locked and no one was home. I had left my house key inside because I forgot to take it, the door is usually unlocked when I get home so it's not yet a habit of mine. After about 30 minutes, my family comes home, and I get lectured for not taking my key, a thing I don't usually take because again, it's not yet a habit. My father starts freaking out, saying they didn't get me a key so I could leave it at home, while my mom is trying to comfort me some because she could tell I was a little shooken up. While I dealt with almost all the groceries and food they brought home, I also get lectured for having "atitude", while in reality I was trying not to cry. I then comment on the fact, and my father barely acknowledges it, and continues to lecture me for another 2-5 minutes. I then am "let free", and am now here a few hours later. They also talked (he mainly) about how they would just NOW get me a cell phone, which from past experience means actually 2-3 months most likely. My key is not where I last left it, so even if I had thought to take it, I wouldn't have been able to find it and would have had to rush out without it anyway to not be late. And school stress from almost 6 full papers with up to 30 full length questions each daily? Right, I have NO problems...

[@MrWereWolfGirl]

This is such a crappy thing to do to your kid. I remember being severely stressed out throughout my school year and I was bullied at school so yeah - I felt horrible most of the time but my grandparents would constantly tell me that I am not allowed to have problems or feel stressed out because I am not an adult - like dude, kids can have problems too, listen to them and help them, don't tell them that they are not allowed to have problems or be stressed out because they are just kids and they don't have any situations where they can have problems and feel stressed out.

[@DoormanSoorman]

@@MrWereWolfGirl my dad is like this. I have no phone. Whenever I'm having trouble at school and I'm actually getting stressed out my father just says "your so lazy" or "what do you do in this house." Wanna know something funny though? I babysit my sister, vacuum the house, wash my own dishes right after I'm done so they don't pile up. I forgot to wash them one day and my dad yelled at me.. My siblings don't make things any better. Their extremely younger than me and they annoy me like hell.

[@claa3943]

Ah, Somewhat relatable. I've had my parents tell me those type and things, Specifically my father. I once asked my mother that I wanted to go to a therapist due to constantly getting bullied by others and such, But she kept denying the fact I had a problem and told me that I needed to fix it myself. Like, It's as if they think that because I'm young and so I can't reach out for help and I'm always expected to be perfect even when I'm not.And my parents won't even give me a phone until I become like, 17 or so because they think that I'm not responsible enough. And to top that, I almost everytime have to check with my parents to buy my own stuff with my own money. MY. OWN. MONEY. They won't even let me spend my own damn money that I recieve from relatives/earn from something I do, Thinking that because I'm young, I'll always spend money without thinking(Which now makes me anxious everytime I try to buy things and get super paranoid).My younger brother(Who is sort of a brat, Sadly..) is a more worse case than this though. He literally doesn't do anything to help me. I literally have to vacuum the whole house, Make the bed, Clean up our room, And even make his breakfast and he's never helped. One time, I cooked his breakfast for him to eat but then he completely LOST it because I made something he didn't like. When I confronted my parents about this, They told me that it was my fault for not being 'responsible' enough and scolded me with such verbal abuse that I was on the edge of completely breaking down. like hell, What does responsibility have anything to do with this?It makes me feel so sad but even more sad because I know there are people dealing with worse..I'll be turning 15 this month however, So I'm hoping that may change the way they think even in the slightest way possible.? ;-;

[@MrWereWolfGirl]

@@DoormanSoorman I hope that things get better for you soon and that you get out fast D: It shall be better once you are on your own

[@starsagaart4788]

My mother literally stopped paying for my college and did not allow me to go to art school because i stopped cleaning up around the house while I was in community college and working two jobs. She got pissed off because she said she works and my stepdad works and the pay for everything. I didnt have the time and I did not make any of the mess most of the time because I was never home.

[@Luke-lq9rn]

Oh my god that's terrible.

[@RedCloudfield]

what an absolute dick move dude :( Hope you're doing ok

[@Deadlyhorizon]

Thats not even a little okay bc u have 2 jobs and u go to college your parents need to learn that

[@Okinasexo]

But shes already doing so fucking much for you She was paying for your college It doesnt matter if youre working two jobs YOU STILL HAVE TO CLEAN UP I Have four fuckin jobs and I still have time to clean up and everything Stop being lazy

[@Okinasexo]

@69lawyers also she literally said my mom paid for me to go to college

[@neppyweppy1955]

8:04 Well name them........ *looks at items on the desk*....."bottle"

[@jordanrisktaker]

Pretty Biche I was literally reading the comments and got to yours right when she said that. When I say I lAuGHed-

[@suzytalks4778]

Parents who usually treat their kids as servants are more often than not narc parents.

[@NoArtisticLimitation]

This is so true! (My best friend’s mum is)

[@mewmewkitten]

This makes me wonder if two specific relatives of mine are narcs...

[@fionafiona1146]

Or have too little money, time or whatever to think about how much which child is doing... Especially if they have a idea like gender roles or "the little ones" on their mind and don't actualise. Still no childs chores should look like work.

[@NoArtisticLimitation]

@fiona fiona That can be an alternative, too. They didn’t say all parents were. (I’m not being all “specifics, they didn’t SAY that”, I wasn’t sure if you thought they meant all parents like that)

[@Jay-uj2er]

My mom expects me to do the dishes all the time even when she has a day off and I have done the dishes for weeks at that point, she still makes me do it, My sister nor my dad rarely ever do the dishes or help cleaning up Sure yeah I don't have a job yet ( mainly cause my social anxiety fucks up any interview I go to) but I'm also going into my senior year this year and I'm not gonna be home all day to do them They all have jobs but when they have days off, they refuse to help me and expect me to do it constantly

[@maesynnmayhem]

So I lived with my mom till I was 23? I believe. When I got a job I eventually took over the cell phone bill. Then when I got a better job I paid for 98% of everything for our 3 dogs. This included vet bills, shots (my first check was actually to get one of the dogs neutered...), food, treats, etc. I can think of maybe 3-4 times and the entire time of me working that my mom paid for something for them. I started doing my own laundry, cleaning, tidying up. When I got a promotion I even started buying and making my own food, always cleaning up after myself. She never asked for rent, but I paid the phone bill + for the dogs so it was a trade off. Then when she got a motorcycle, I was expected to make the payments and in turn I would drive the car. After a year she refused to let me ride the motorcycle and forced me into trading it in. THEN tried to take the new car even though I was the buyer and she was just the cosigner... When I temp moved out and had to move back, I got a job within 4-5 days and things resumed. When I first moved out she would not let me take my dog. (Control tactic, honestly.) Now anytime it gets brought up, she tries to say I never paid rent, she helped me with bills, etc. I tried to move out before then and I got belittled and screamed at. Thing is - she didn't want to be alone, so she tried to break me down so I wouldn't leave. It eventually stopped working, but I pulled my own weight and being made to feel I didn't years later is garbage. On a side note - my TWELVE year old niece is expected to babysit/cook for her younger brother. She will get her phone taken away if the brother isn't fed, even if he REFUSES to eat. There's more, but it's just ridiculous.

[@nerdieone1]

wow that screams narcissism. D:

[@maesynnmayhem]

@@nerdieone1 It is. I tried to help her out with ideas to pay off her bills and she just yelled at me. If I call her out on her irresponsible spending she'll yell at me. Also attacked me last week for "being concerned" that I don't have a "real job" (I do art) and what would I do for retirement. Meanwhile she has nothing herself and she's almost 50.

[@nerdieone1]

omg I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that. hugs. :( @@maesynnmayhem

[@maesynnmayhem]

@@nerdieone1 Thank you for taking the time to read and reply.

[@maesynnmayhem]

@@grimacefrommcdonalds Huh, that's interesting I kinda want to find that episode now haha. Yeah I hope she does too. I try to give her tough love but she is super sensitive and dramatic.

[@cmgvillager]

8:03 Michie: *Looks around the room* "Bottle."

[@Twist3dDisast3r]

that is what I did

[@psilicybins_]

ok honestly- this is super relatable to me. i'm autistic, and my parents gave up on me the second i was diagnosed. i was forced on meds at age 7 and was forced to stay on them until i moved out at 18. i developed anxiety, depression and tourettes while on meds; i had none of them beforehand. my parents divorced when i was young and in both households i was simply tolerated. my father was the worst of the two. my father is incapable of caring unless you bend over backwards for him. hes a true psychopath, not the stereotypical media one. when i lived with him after high school, i was the house servant. i had a lot of chores (not too many, but a few were hell due to how they were handled and my ABA therapist made it worse for no reason). one of them was dishes. one was filling sandbags to the near top and slinging them into a pile (its a long story but my dad wanted a lap pool and forced me, a fragile 17/18 year old to do it). when i would visit my grandmother or a family friend for a weekend they would stop all dishes the entire weekend. i would come back to almost every dish in the house being in and around the sink. my back is fucked up beyond to where it should be at my age (im 20) due to those sandbags. im one of 3 people ive ever heard my father call a cunt. i was punished during holidays for not wanting to talk to him during high school. he forced me to get a job, told me unless i made 400 bucks a month it wasnt a 'real job' and i would pay 400 no matter what. if i made exactly 400 i was broke until my next paycheck. he forced me to quit after a month because he would rather let my stepsister not respect my space and interrupt all my work calls (i was a salesperson). my stepmother encouraged her to bully me because i was working, was in college AND doing 90% of the chores while she was in first grade and refusing to learn how to read and count. my father would constantly take my shit because i was too stressed to do chores or even eat. at one point i had 1 hour a day to do my 3-4 hours worth of chores. my stepmother was allowed to ignore my and my stepsisters shower getting limescale growth and instead cleared grass to the hot tub for no reason. she got rewarded. if i simply WAITED until it was cooler outside to do yardwork in south cali summer heat because my dad said to do it LATER, i got reprimanded for not wanting to fucking sweat my ass off in 95 degree weather for something i didnt even know how to do. 2 weeks before my 19th birthday my father kicked me out for coming out as trans and i moved in with my grandmother. my father stole $3000 worth of electronics that were gifted to me before i was 18, and a few hundred dollard of that wasnt even his involvement (the rest he simply chipped in for). my grandmother bribed much of it out of him. im out of 2 shitty households. im finally human, no longer a broken machine. i still struggle with a horrid inferiority complex, insomnia due to fear (my dads a half hour drive from me), chronic back pain, knee problems, depression, executive dysfunction and i have a hard time getting out of that mindset my father put me in. my mother had less impact because i was mostly ignored in her house. im still struggling to balance myself as i was forced to be a submissive person for the longest time. theres a lot more i didnt go into, but im at the best point in my life.. because im human now. and honestly. im glad my father kicked me out. i can finally see the world through a lens that doesnt require me to feel like i need to escape. i can become myself, not who someone wants me to be

[@sweettooth7089]

I’m glad you got out of there

[@psilicybins_]

@@sweettooth7089 honestly?? me too. i got to finaly see how bad it actually is there

[@alexlikestodraw458]

I can only hope your days will be even better now to where you can be yourself, and happy with what you do with your life! ^^

[@samyen3210]

He sounds like an abuser. I wouldn't forgive him if I were you but try to be happy. That's the best revenge

[@LuminaryAlien]

minint I am glad you got out of that living hell

[@raychell1]

heh, the whole respect thing for us has been an issue for a lifetime. women clean, men get served. parents can mock their kids or even bully them, and if you're a son dont you ever dare to respond to your parents/grandparents... even if youre right. becauseyou need to respect them all the time even if they disrespect you. I'm somewhat a black sheep for refusing to follow these standards in the long run... my mom eveb threats me saying stuff like "I will never stop being your mother" psa: they arent inherently evil, but this stuff acumulates overtime... and the funny part is, there is a tendency in my family in where the now grown up kids stop comunicating with their parents. and the old ones have all the guts to say how ungrateful their sons/daughters are because they no longer want to talk to the people "who gave them everything" I've been struggling to find a job... Its a long story. i really hope i can get to save real money someday....

[@purplenova7690]

I agree fam.

[@TheAnonyomusGuy]

If you're needing a job and I don't know your situation you might be in college and might not but have you tried the labor force like Plumbing electrician stuff like that apparently it's pretty lucrative work in there always needing more of them and I mean no job that has to be permanent if you do a job like that wild going to school for something else at least you're making some money right

[@GlorOwo]

I can relate

[@artemissunandmoon]

raychell1 Same but in my culture this is directed at the girls

[@Dell-xg8gj]

My parents have always said "giving you life was the best gift we gave you, you don't need anything else" and I'm just like bitch where is the receipt

[@cococaramel3757]

I don't care if talks aren't about art. I love your talks!

[@RawGreenTheAnimator]

I think learning about life experiences and perspectives help with art in the long run. Especially in instances that help you overcome things that would prevent yourself from innovating art.

[@auggiemain]

So, this isn't really my story but it's what I've observed in my house. My sister goes to school and then right after immediately goes to work until 11 at night. She's 17, and my parents are constantly telling her that when she turns 18 she's going to be expected to pay rent. Even though she literally isn't home for a whole day, when she comes home at 11 my parents expect her to do the dishes (even though she didn't eat any of their food) and clean the living room (even though she wasn't home to make it messy). She never complains, most likely because she's to exhausted, but I know she absolutely hates it. Edit: I know some of you are telling me to not just watch her, and to help her out, but like guys I have to do my own chores/homework/schooling too. I dont just sit around and watch her do her chores, I also do my own. I do help out a little though, like I do pick up after myself and dont leave messes in the living room, and sometimes I do wash my own dishes, but I cant do her job for her because I have my own stuff to do. She's graduated now so she's not at school for most of the day anymore and has time to herself now too, just for an update.

[@artemissunandmoon]

Sketchy Artist she should move out

[@auggiemain]

@@artemissunandmoon She can't. She's 17 and works at Subway. She doesn't even have a car yet.

[@artemissunandmoon]

Sketchy Artist I meant when she turns 18, she could save up and get a scholarship, that way she could go to college and live in a dorm with a roommate she can split rent with

[@danamccary3930]

Dude she not a servant she's a Slave

[@disappointment7463]

OhGodI'mIronic, she could move out and get a roomate but getting a scholarship isn't easy, you have to get really good grades, not saying that girl isn't smart I'm just saying it's really hard, and when I get into highschool next year. Holy hell I'm gonna get socked in the jaw. most likely will get a part time job when I'm old enough. :/

[@shadowdroid776]

I have a friend that fits this to a 't'. She was the middle child with 2 siblings, and she was the one that did all the chores. If her room wasn't spotless, if she didn't wash down the bathroom tiles, if she didn't do all the laundry, her parents wouldn't let her leave the house until it's done because she needs to "respect their household". She worked multiple jobs throughout her life, and had to give up almost her entire paycheck's worth of money each month just so she can stay living there. When she finally went back to college, she had one job that she did practically full-time, and her parents still demanded she do everything for them while they just sat on their asses after work and did nothing. The reason she left is because they tried to con her out of more money, and they realized she had a paper trail to prove they don't need more money from her. They kicked her out because of that, refused to give her the registration of the car she owned, tried hiding her pay checks from her (her sister found them), and complained about how she will never make it on her own and should just come back "when she wises up". It's been over a year now and she has a house with her boyfriend, is still going for her degree, still has the same job, and is completely independent from those jerkwads. They're trying their damnest to be in her life in any way, and actually don't understand why none of their children like them.

[@hauntedshadowslegacy2826]

Idea: get a throw-away phone and anonymously link this vid to them. Tell the friend, and stay on guard if necessary. (p.s., idk how expensive restraining orders or official disownment are)

[@ookami305]

Oh man, I know how that feels. I'm the youngest, I have two older brothers (also the only girl), and I was taught how to cook, clean, do laundry, how to pay bills, how to do taxes, etc. My brothers didn't learn any of that, so I'm basically a maid were I live, even though I work, I'm still expected to do all the housework that no one wants to do. Honestly, I'm kinda glad I know how to do these basic housework things, but damn it'll be wonderful for someone to help me out, just a little.

[@maxcrow890]

Armani I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know what to day other then I want to educate your family on proper responsibilities and expectations. But you'll get through it. You'll learn from it and be in a place eventually when you can look back and shake your head.

[@peakinpeakin9884]

Not only is it bad for you but it's a detriment to your brothers and their life as a whole. There's a saying "you discipline those you love." My older middle brother was babied a little bit (he was the only boy in the family) more than my sisters and I think it did really wasn't good. You have to be equally hard ass to all the kids. 😆

[@ookami305]

@@peakinpeakin9884 The boys are usually babied my family. They tend to forgive my brothers more than me. And funny enough, I was the ones who taught my older brothers where to pay bills, how to cook and clean, and how to use the laundry machine😁

[@ookami305]

@@maxcrow890 Yeah, it'll be nice if they help out, but at least I know basic housework, so I'm kind of grateful 😁. But Thanks you ❤️❤️❤️❤️. And higher education is good and family members shouldn't overweight a persin too much when in college.

[@yazmin6000]

Maybe because you’re the woman? I don’t agree with what you’re going through but it could be because of gender. Some families are more.. traditional. That’s awful though.

[@CookieCat94]

My mother is one of these people... to the extreme end. I spent most of my teen years looking after my siblings (cooking, their laundry, making sure they had lunch for school, deep cleaning the house, ect) while she went out drinking or partying and would get screamed at if I forgot to run the dishwasher or ran out of time in the day to sweep. All while being expected to go to highschool school 6 hours a day. -_- it got to the point of getting physically and verbally abused on a daily basis just for wanting to do something other than cook and clean for my siblings (got really good at hiding bruises and worse..) I'm so grateful to the family members who helped me fight to get out of that situation. Never make anyone feel like you are only worth the work you do, you are worth so much more. It is okay to need to step away and prioritize what you need to do.

[@Erwin.scommandussy]

kinda mad that this comment has practically no likes while comments basically just quoting the vid get thousands of them.Anyways glad you got out of that situation dude,stay awesome :)

[@zebraroll2037]

For about a year now, my parents and I have been living with my grandma. Now, my mom will do whatever my grandma tells her to do. Heck, she'd probably jump off a bridge if my grandma told her to. My grandma is very controlling and wants to tell people how they "have" to live their lives. My mom will listen to her till the ends of the earth. My dad. on the other hand, isn't buying any of it. He will not stand there and take whatever insults she might say about the way we live. And he will not stand for her behavior (like leaving a four year old child at the house by herself while my grandma keeps dangerous objects in her reach.) Recently, I just found out that my mom and my grandma expect me to clean up after my grandma's mess in the kitchen. When my grandma cooks, no one else is cooking that day. A bunch of pans will be scattered about the kitchen along with food, plates, and silverware. It is a chaotic mess and disgusting. And sometimes we can't even cook or eat because of it, resulting in take out a lot. But apparently I am suppose to clean up after her? We don't eat her food. I will help with the dishes if I ate the food. But I don't eat her food (for many reasons not just because I don't want to do the dishes.) Also, I have a job. So I do not have time to clean up her mess five times a day. That woman eats a lot like crazy. If I did have to constantly clean up after her, I'd start hiding the pans and food. And I know what you might be thinking. She's old and probably needs help and stuff. But she is perfectly capable of doing this stuff herself. I walked in today to see her randomly rearranging the living room (moving couches, tables, etc.) with no problem what so ever. She is capable of doing stuff but she prefers to spend her time locked in her room getting drunk and possibly going out and drunk driving (this has happened several times.) Fortunately, my dad doesn't just do what she says so I don't have to do it. I could rant about my grandma for ages but I decided to type this because it kind of related to what you talked about in the video.

[@EmSwaff2]

God this sort of thing bothers me. My BF's parents are always asking him to do shit for them, stuff they could easily do themselves. And I've been there, watched and helped him do shit for them while they sit around doing nothing. And good god does his mom get annoyed if he doesn't do it the moment she "asks" and doesn't consider that he's busy or that I'm there. If he's busy and can't load/unload the dishwasher at the time, it'll sit there, open, for hours waiting for him to be free to do it. And that whole time they'll just meander around, do nothing and argue. And I especially hate that I'm expected to help do this shit sometimes, just cause I'm visiting. I don't live there, I'm a guest; if you ask I'll help, but don't expect me to automatically. Not to mention she doesn't seem to consider that me and his sister-in-law have our own families to spend time with, at holidays specifically. I question so often how they will survive without him around once we move in together. I can't wait to see that cord get cut with both their children out of the house with there own lives.

[@dandyvandy3003]

Off topic but I really liked the art style for this piece you did

[@Twist3dDisast3r]

Dandy Vandy thank you it’s a collab with pastelmontsaa here on KZbin.

[@quietzest]

I 100% agree that there needs to be respect and a two-way road with this kind of stuff And that's why I need to stop being such a lazy teen and actually help out a bit after school-- because my parents buy me all this shit and I'm just kind of over here barely pulling my weight. I'm definitely going to try and be better about this because it's super obvious to me now that my parents are probably hella annoyed with me... Why do your rants always make me reflect on how to be a better person? Haha! (but seriously thanks)

[@pokewolfxd8535]

; v ; ugh this topic relates to my life too much. As a child you either take care of 100% of the household or get beaten and "grounded" into doing the cleaning more hardcore with them screaming over you until it's done. Mind you if I had homework I was expected to not only clean the house and mow and do dishes and do the laundry ect on a daily basis BUT I also had to wait on my parents hand and foot literally. If they call your name you were expected to enter the room and play fetch quest constantly. If they want the channel changed I had to do it, if they wanted a soda that was at the actual end of their bed or even just 2 feet away, I was expected to fetch it. If they got hungry I was expected to come and listen to their request then go fix the food then, all while they are still on their bed, I must serve them their food while they are still in bed. I was a literal servant and since I was a child I felt literally powerless and made me feel like I wasn't family and I was just a child slave. Which more or less I was, I had to work for hours on end all while waiting hand and foot to my parents over every little thing because "they make money" therefore they don't want to stand up once they get home. And honestly they never grew out of it. I don't mind everyone doing their own part in a household, but when it's all thrusted onto just one person that's just excessive imo.

[@ele_v.irtuosity5385]

Oh my gosh I could never just walk into a house and eat someone's food, I would die from panic 😂 Except I have a problem ;-; I'm too nervous to ask for water or anything at my friend's houses so I just don't get anything and I'm just thirsty or whatever the whole time 😂

[@PowerSpirit50]

Same! And if you do you can't look them in the eye!

[@decapitated420]

Ugh, same!

[@louise4152]

s A ME

[@briannacoultrap4737]

man same

[@null2010]

Once I spent the weekend at my friend place and I was to nervous to ask for food so I just didn't eat for the whole weekend and I did this 7 more times. She then said the next time I was over "do you eat or are you trying not to ask? Cause it's fine if you want to eat.." I died of relief in that moment. I still don't eat much at my friend's house cause in just a lil bish

[@meganbuchanan6359]

I knew so many friends who do this. They never cleaned their place and it was so gross but I understood why. They were raised that chores were a punishment or had to just do everthing. It's a terrible way to raise a kid...

[@yourlocalgrubdog3345]

Oh gosh, this. Just recently I moved out of my aunts house, and she was just like this. And I'm not even an adult, she started this crap when I was in 5th grade. I don't have a job for a variety of reasons, but I obviously do school. I need to be able to go to bed on time, I need to be able to study, I need to do my homework, and I need to be able to sit back and cool off a bit after having 3 tests in one day. Yet my little brother and I were still completely responsible for getting the laundry and dishes done, and getting the animals taken care of. (We even had to feed our aunts own dog) EDIT: I should probably make clear that we did all of these and our aunt did nothing at all, even though she could. Our mom usually did what we couldn't/didn't. Fuck, there was one time we were gone for 3 days for a 4-H thing, came back, and there were 3 days worth of dishes piled up. Even though we didn't eat those meals due to not fucking being there, we still had to clean it up! I specifically remember this one time, in Freshman year, when I had a feildtrip down to the river. And the entire feildtrip was just cleaning up garbage from the banks. So when I got home, I was exhausted from having spent the day doing physical work. When I was told "do the dishes" I said I couldn't because I spent the day cleaning up the river banks. Her exact response? "I don't care what you do there. I care about what's done here." I could probably share other horror stories from that time in my life but ngl I think that sums it up pretty well.

[@velvetfang1148]

This was a good talk, I never knew this was a big issue. I think maybe if you ever do another one what would be thoughts on kids who have valid reasons on why they don't want to go to college straight after high school but are being forced to so that they don't disappoint their family. I just kinda seen this lately in my school and with my current life and would be interested if you ever did a ramble about this topic

[@Twist3dDisast3r]

Oh no that is a great topic! Thank you for commenting it

[@feraflauna3238]

+kayla Creatures-I've only seen three major articles over the years concerning this topic so I have known that there are parents like that but it seems to be an even bigger problem that society has not been able or willing to address. . .Because I've been asked to earn my keep in the house before. Certainly. (Especially with eight people living in the same house, you had to chip in so everyone could stay sane and be able to live together :D). My parents helped me pay for college, once when a scholarship fell through at the last minute without notice and I being threatened to be kicked out of my dorm if I didn't "pay up," another time when another scholarship fell through at the last minute, this time before I could even check in and they didn't give me an opportunity to set up my own payment plan to reimburse the missing money. . .They've paid for a family phone plan and until recently (when I got my phone)-I was never asked to pay the cell phone bill. . .My sisters have had my parents help them pay for their first cars, car insurance, their weddings, on the agreement that once my sisters were married and had someone else to help support the finances, they would be "cut off." In return, we were asked to do the basic chores around the house-dishes, keeping your room clean, things like that. During and after college, I was asked to take care of my own things, and they would never unduly ask me of something I wasn't responsible for to begin with. I have never asked them for money (and they know this and they still would help me out if things got too financially tough at the moment), I never tried to ask for them for anything I even felt was unreasonable (especially because they have six children. . .) or too demanding, and if they went out their way to help me, I wanted to offer money to compensate for their trouble. (But they've never taken it, even when I wanted to compensate them for their troubles. . .) So I was asked to do things around the house. I was asked to keep things tidy, pitch in with dinner, etc. But I was never FORCED to be, nor was the shoulder of all the responsibility-financial, housework, etc., heaped solely on my feet. . .Plenty of people talk about this kind of thing as parents treating their own kids like their live-in maids but I feel that's not even accurate. . .Maids at least get paid/compensated for their work. . .All of these terrifying instances have these parents treated their own kids like their "indentured servants." Free labor to where the parents do not have any sense of obligation to actually be a PARENT and just dump all the duties on to their kids. . .And if those kids somehow "fail to comply"-get too stressed out or call their parents out on this, the parents retaliate by stripping them of all their belongings. Often, they'll take away phones, sell the kids' cars (which the kids need in order to get to the car and earn the money they are being financially burdened/forced to help their parents with. . .), force more labor on them, etc., and constantly crow how these kids still do absolutely nothing while the parents "do everything for them." This phenomenon is legitimately so disturbed, that I'd argue you can't take it as anything but abuse/neglect. These parents turn their children into free labor, a Cinderella where everything and anything can be dumped at these kids at any moments' notice, and it is just plain SICK. It shouldn't even be considered legal and these parents need to be called out and charged as abusive/negligent because their kids are suffering so much.

[@purplenova7690]

I can relate with this somewhat, I'm 16, so many of the issues are yet to come. But to my dad and his family, who are all violently conservative psychopaths, I was there piggy back ride to a comfortable life. But, I did not fit their insane expectations, I am a short and thin gay male that took after my mother in appearance and loved nerdy things. Not their pinnacle of Latino masculinity. So, one visitation Tuesday, I was sent to 'straight camp'. A period of two days I do not want to even type or fully re-call, it is the sole reason my therapist had me cut off contact with my dad. My siblings still bring up the self-entitled crap my dad does and says, and his family to.

[@collectedcrows4034]

Being a person who has anxiety, depression, autism, and ADHD I still try to pull my weight around my parents house but a lot of the time I just can't do some of the base things that most people do and yet I still try to better myself and help out I have systems to get things done and my parents are ok with that because they know and understand that I AM TRYING. I'm not and never will be the kind of person that doesn't do shit all day and use my disorders/disabilities as an excuse. But if I had an hour long panic attack and couldn't do the dishes then I'll tell them and try my best to make up for what I missed.

[@otterpuplover]

My dad was abusive, just saying that, but he did THIS exact thing a lot. And honestly, it was the worst thing about his behavior. Nothing makes a child more unmotivated than to have them do something, and then tell them they're not doing enough. I literally have ptsd from this type of thing (and others but, eh). But like, I've literally had to work for years just to be able to do things people my age (20) should be able to do, and I can barely do it. My partner and I have been calling this an entitled parent complex, and this captured it perfectly. Thank you, I'm seriously going to show this to him to explain better.

[@Toriyamaus]

In my Household, It's always been, *My Dad:* goes to work all day, Helping people and Programing, Gets the Money. *My Mother:* Stays home, Schools me and my brother (Who has now Graduated and is trying to find a job), She cooks, does some Cleaning, Does some Laundry. *My Brother:* Is supposed to clean the bathroom that we use, Take the trash to the dump, And Help me clean up after dinner. -Not that he does- -any of those. Lazy jerk.- *Myself:* -I usually do alittle- -laundry if I really want something- -to get cleaned fast,- Do my schoolwork, Clean up after dinner, Clean out the Bunny. We always live by, Clean up the messes you made and do your equal part.

[@EvaHoshizora]

I went through something similar. But it caused me such distress that I *can't* have a normal job. I was physically beat down, mentally tortured, and even when I left my mother, my step mother wasn't any better on the mental department. I just... I developed such a problem that I have PTSD due to abuse. I physically have to leave when my mother visits or when I see my ex-step mother, because just seeing them makes me start shaking and want to cry. I live with my grandma and only work with Patreon and DeviantArt really, but I also help around the house. I'm super thankful for everything, and when I am working, she leaves me be. Of course, sometimes she gets mad at me always being home, but going outside won't get me paid, haha. So we always have the money talk. But thank you for pointing all of this out, it's very, very necessary to tell others that this things *are* real. When I was a child, I wasn't a saint, but I also didn't deserve to be beaten so badly that I had to bandage myself.

[@marycruzship5652]

I'm 15 at the moment and my mom does most of the house work. I do my own laundry, make my/her bed and if she didn't make lunch then I'll make my own. Basic things like that but she openly says to me and my family members that when I learn to drive I'm expected to drive her around when ever she wants. And here's the thing she refuses to learn English and how to drive so she's unemployed and is dependent on my relatives. But the worst part is that she wants me to give her money willy nilly when ever she wants it and sure I'll help her out but she means I'll give her money every week. She also wants me to take care of her when she's old and look I have a brother and she never says that he'll have to do any of these things because in her eyes I'm the servant and he's her child.

[@Pinkstars1605]

As a person with a physical disability who does live at home, I was told that I should do what I can to help out even if it’s taking out the garbage so that way you learn some Responsibilities while not being totally dependent on other people to help.

[@Maddypupppy]

i listen to you while i draw commissions, youre a real nice voice to listen to! with nice things to say, that are usually educational art-wise i dont usually write comments, but thanks..

[@Twist3dDisast3r]

Well thank you!

[@maesynnmayhem]

Me too!

[@WildArtistsl]

Same! I have a friend who´s parents treat her like garbage sometimes. Like she doesn´t seem to exist to them sometimes. While her younger sibling gets all the attention. There days she sometimes cries wishing she can stay home away but it isn´t so horrible like a servant or something. I just think they worried about something

[@landan7626]

My dad makes me and my sisters all do chores and clean up after him and my step mom. I never really thought of it being a not normal thing. Whenever I'm sick and don't eat I still do the dishes and everything. Idk how I really feel about it

[@kittykittykatie9488]

Thank you for talking about this. I thought I was alone because no one believes me when I talk about my mom. It made me feel guilty for thinking wrong of my mom even though she treats me the way she does. This made me feel a lot better about my situation. Thank you.

[@maddiemango2589]

I know this wasn’t your intention, but this video got me to get up and finish my laundry XD

[@transdiaries3278]

Omg sameeee I just decided to ask my parents to teach me to cook and asked them to make me do more chores

[@maxcrow890]

After my grandmother's death my father sister and I were thrust into a financial situation where we couldn't support ourselves so my family threw my female cousin (we'll call her S) and her boyfriend M into our living situation for support. In theory this would have been great. But I was in middle school, my Dad hadn't worled in over five years and my sister moved out after a few months. The only money my Dad had was child support so we thought S or M would get a job. On top of this S and M brought 3 dogs, a mother, father and daughter. S and M rarely helped out around the house and didn't work for 4 months, and I took care of their dogs more then they did. After 4 months S got a job at a call center and I gave up my bedroom so S and M didn't sleep on the couch anymore, and I took the couch. M was also abusive to S, usually just mentally but occasionally he'd get physically abusive and I'd have to get my Dad to stop him. I watched them do drugs constantly, spend all their money on it, not take care of their dogs so there would be feces and urine in the house (we had carpet) and they OD'd on several occasions. I lived with them for almost a year and I took care of their dogs as we got the carpet removed. My Dad applied for jobs but couldn't land one. And then near December they decided they wanted to breed the dogs. That litter was my living hell because I slept on the couch and would wake up to puppies whining or howling or peeing on me and still be expected to clean it up, clean myself up, go to school, come home and do chores if my Dad who has clynical depression wasn't up to it. Then about six months after we had found homes for all the other puppies (barring one) a accidental litter was born. Thank lord I wasn't in school at the time or I would have lost it. Needless to say my dad and I eventually kicked out M but S was pissed at us for it. S also became more addicted to drugs and tried to have me pick them up. I refused and many family fights insued. For about three years I dealt with S and living with her on and off. In all this time my Dad and I had taken a puppy from the first litter to be our own. When we lost the house we had him stay with a family friend who stole him. Yet S could keep her dog. And I lost what had me smiling in one of the worst times of my life. Not to mention the fact that my knees started to give me a lot of problems around the third year mark. I couldn't go to school and was bed ridden. The physical damage that occurred in that third year and after have left me disabled. I can still take care of myslef to an extent but it is much harder. My physical limits are rarely acknowledged by anyone other than the people I love woth now. I still resent S and the family members who put me in that situation. I grew up too fast and still have traumatic nightmares. S never helped around the house and even hid dirty dishes for months at a time so I couldn't clean them. That house became a hazardous place to live in. I hated it. But now I live in a apartment with S' brother and my Dad. It's a new set of complicated family pressures but it's so much better then going to school smelling like dog urine. I have a screwy family and the stuff I've been through is ridiculous. But I know that I am not the worst off out there. The expectations of my family and their demands of taking care of the adults were unacceptable but I learned from it. That's the good thing.

[@starrsketcher7118]

i started picking up alot during the summer bc i was home more and hate things being dirty,, but eventually my mom acted as if it was something i had to do (even tho these things are completely separate from my actual chores). for a while i continued because no one would do shit if i didnt, but eventually got worn out and couldnt when school started. even now though my mom acts entitled to my time and me cleaning things i had nothing in the process of making,, even though she is a stay at home mom (who legit does p much nothing and is able to go back to work now if shed hire a baby sitter). she literally told me "whats the point of having kids if they arent going to clean the house for you", and overall treats us more like servants rather than people. even now i find things being a mess for weeks until I (even tho there are 4 other capable people in this house) have to clean it up. its so aggravating and certainly has caused me to have resentment for my mother (for other reasons as well tho)

[@frostreaper1607]

Narcissism is rampant, it's beyond sad. edit: good point, I'd have no issues taking care of my mother but I don't want to spend time taking care of my abusive narc dad.

[@Maryrockson]

This sounds like a situation I was put into. I had a rocky situation with my family one year around the same time I started dating this new guy. Ended up being left a lone at my mom’s house when she moved to a different state for my stepdad so this guy told me to come stay with him and his family. It was fine at first then his grandma got cancer. His mom expected him to do everything for his two younger siblings while she went to the hospital with the grandmother which wouldn’t normally be a problem, but his youngest sibling was 16 at the time and the middle was 18-19. He was the only one who knew how to drive so he had to go get them food and take them places. He ended up losing his job due to having to call out so much because his mom would decide last minute to go to the hospital. Then it shifted to me. I’m staying with them rent free but I paid for my food plus this guys food, did my own laundry and his, and cleaned up areas I used. But they expected me to take his siblings if he wasn’t available or if the two vehicles weren’t available. I was paying a lot of my own bills my car and insurance being one of them and to be expected to drop what I was doing to take them places or get food seemed so wrong to me. I also worked and was in college at the time and rarely was at the house other than to sleep and bathe. I stopped bathing as often as a result(when I stayed there). Then it shifted to I needed to do more around the house. I wasn’t there nor did I use the areas that demanded I help with. The guy I was dating didn’t do anything nor did his siblings. They would literally sit on the couch all day yet I was the one they demanded to help out? Then money became tight because I’m eating out everyday two to three times a day and not only paying for my meal but his as well so I thought maybe if I bought food and cook at the house would be better. It was until I came home to my new groceries I got earlier that day all gone. A weeks worth of food gone(I didn’t eat meat at the time so I couldn’t eat theirs). And I was the one in the wrong for being upset! I stopped buying food right then. I tried leaving many times but he had me so messed up I couldn’t leave. I finally did one night though. I worked up a plan, got some friends in support of me, asked my dad if I could move in with him, and that night when I got to his place I broke it off packed my things and left. The hardest part about the whole thing is I had two cats there that we found and wasn’t aloud to take them to my dads place but I hope they are still doing okay. Everyone seemed to love them so I bet they’re fine.

[@jmcneil3394]

Me and my siblings live under my grandparents. But we’re constantly reminded: “You live under our house, you’re given shelter, food, clothing, and water. Most kids would kill for that in other countries. Now do what I say, or [enter threat here.]” We clean up for them, we watch my dad’s ex’s kids. I literally used to clean up my grandparent’s bedrooms. I packed out the garbage, I help them in their jobs even(helping my grandma cater for hours and hours, usually 4-12 hours.) Me and my siblings do this. We switch responsibilities around time to time. But it drives us crazy. But, here’s the gist. My oldest cousin and her bf, and my dad live here, and never do anything. They don’t pay rent, but they have a job, except my dad. They are never expected to do the things we do, but we are, and we’re kids. And we’ve been doing this for years, ever since I was seven.

[@liamsartworld9854]

I'm only 17, and I live with my grandparents. My grandmother has horrible back problems, but she still cleans because it gives her something to do. Of course I clean up after myself, Like I clean my own bathroom, I vacuum my own room, and I usually clean my own dishes. Unless she's having a really painful day she often doesn't ask me to do any major cleaning. I feel really lucky in that regard. However, because of my depression, It's hard for me to keep up with some things, and I'm often called lazy.. That I don't have an excuse to not bring a bowl to the kitchen immediately after I finish eating, or I leave a cup in my room. They assume I straight up wont do it for some unknown reason. Even though that may be the case I am greatfull that I dont have to clean an entire house by myself. (I have a few friends who do have to do stuff like that and the way they're spoken to is border line abusive). Though I still can't wait for my fiancee and I to get an apartment.

[@bethanymaloney784]

This is a thing I've noticed that abusive people do as well and it drives me up a wall. To them your time means nothing unless it's doing work for them. It's not a good thing and once you finally put your foot down they get angry because how dare you 'waste' your time not meeting my wants from you? And they really did not need to call you to ask you to do something for them if they could have paid someone to do it if they felt that strongly about it, that's just a whole Yike.

[@RiaxaraCo]

Tbh I’m pretty lucky, in my family me, my twin sister, and my older brother haven’t fully graduated yet, and me and my sister do the laundry basically every Sunday, we sort it, if we fold our clothes and put them away, we have to clean our room, and our older brother has to clean his room, and occasionally fold the towels, if our parents aren’t home one of us makes dinner, we have to unclog the toilet if we clogged it, and all that Jazz, and honestly these people who treat their kids like servants make my blood boil! They remind me of my mom’s side of the family (that’s a *_long_* story, one that’s to personal to tell) and honestly that makes me even madder, and just, it’s annoying, I’m so lucky to live with my family, and not one of those families.

[@ewwPINK]

This the same situation with my boyfriend RIGHT NOW!! Like his mother just EXPECTS things from him since he lives with her and likes to pull the “I’m depressed” or “You never hang out anymore” and she puts so much stress in him and it makes him live with his grandparents or weeks and wells on end. So he said that when he leaves for college he’s not living home or when he gets his own apartment he’s not telling his mom where he lives at cause he doesn’t want to go through that constant stress and her blaming shit on him. Though the sad part is that he shows nothing but respect to her but she still treats her only son like shit so🤷🏾‍♀️ I agree with you: parents can’t ALWAYS expect things from their children or try and make them seem like the bad guy when the child puts their foot down and say I’m not doing this. ((Sorry for the long tangent...but this just really hit the nail on the head for me when you talked about this topic))

[@maximillian1109]

I felt a bit bad about staying at home rent-free until you mentioned mental disabilities, and that even though I work three days every week on one job, every weekend on another, and goes to school at the same time. But I have always felt kind of like a leach, but I just can't move out. I would drown in myself and probably die one way or another. So thank you so much for correcting yourself. It made me feel a lot better.^^

[@bezzycay9939]

A good Birthday or Christmas present for my parents is to spend a few hours cleaning their house. :) Good video topic, Michie!

[@tinyandcharming]

I'm in the same situation as Pen (sans job or school) and I really don't mind pulling my own weight. I hate living in filth so I clean things but my family won't even consider making things easier for me - like if they drop food on the floor, they wont pick it up, they'll just think that I'll deal with it later. They don't help me though or even take care of their own things. There is someone who is home with me who is blood related, but they won't be asked/don't do anything unless they're pressured to. I'll deal with the grocery shopping deliveries but other members will suddenly do a disappearing act when it shows up and be met with hostility at times if I eat something they think that I 'shouldn't' when it's for everyone. Some days I literally don't know what to eat or I'm too afraid to eat something unless it's been approved by someone. If I'm lucky I'll get to eat something someone else doesn't want because its been sitting in the fridge for two days. I'm trying to get out with my partner, but eventually I lost my shit about the lack of respect and the fact that I have to literally pick up after everyone. They're careful about what they say to me now or having the gall to moan about the mess (that they make). I love knowing how to look after my own things and clean things, however it sometimes feels as though they're deliberately making more work for me.

[@liamlockheartart7560]

"I see more and more parents treating their kids like servants rather than kids." This isnt new. There was no shift. There have always been abusive parents. Most of my friends growing up were treated more like property than kids. We just see more and more of ppls every day lives than ever. I understand that YOU didnt see it as much when u were younger doesnt mean it didnt happen ... Again, we see so much more of everyones lives now and people are starting to understand for the first time that these things are abusive. Its not a generational thing. There have always been entitled people like that in the world, and there always will be.

[@liamlockheartart7560]

Also rereading that my comment sounds a little aggressive. It wasnt meant to be. Sorry for that. Im awful at writing tone.

[@liamlockheartart7560]

@@deeznuts7415 Nah thats what I literally JUST SAID. there are NOT more adults that feel entitled these days. We just see more of everyones every day lives now and thus we see things we didnt before. Because we see more people in general we will see more bad people than we used to. Again there was no shift. This is not new. These entitled people are not a new issue. There have always been entitled people and there always will be. We just SEE more of it now because the more we see of each others lives than ever. But these shitty entitled people have always existed. There was never any shift. Technology just lets us see more.

[@BreeBrando]

My aunt and uncle do this to their oldest boy and even their younger boys all the time. It makes me so glad to have gotten the better father

[@marinaray5037]

My parents never do chores. Now I get that my mom works her butt off every day, and I'm grateful for that. the real problem is my dad. I love my dad, but if there's any sort of chore to be done, it's us kids who have to do it. We do the dishes, the laundry, taking out the trash, feeding the animals(which we have a lot more of than the average person) and we watch/clean up after our 2-year-old sister. He never helps, and when we ask him to help, he says. "nah, that's why I had you minions to do things for me". that hurts, every time, and he's said it a lot. My brother and I have agreed that when we have kids we're going to help with chores, because as soon as we were old enough to do anything, we got all the work. the longer I live with my parents the less I feel like I'm going to come around to visit. and I still have at least 3 more years here. Plus, I have a job too, I have school, and I'm trying to improve my art(which can take hours out of my day!), and it's annoying that no matter what I'm doing, if I'm told to do some chore I have to drop whatever I'm doing and get it done

[@cheesay22]

My friends called me Cinderella when I lived with my family. It was nice to have a laugh about it with them but both I and they were angry about my situation with my family. If I ever complain about how I was treated as an adult I tend to hear things like "well your oldest sister used to do WAY more than you when she was a child" "you could have said no" They knew I couldn't say no. They would emotionally beat me down until I never spoke about it again when I was a kid. Friends would be genuinely so shocked at how things worked for me at home.... To the extent that they would refuse to come around again because it made them uncomfortable or angry. My parents don't hold their grandchildren to the same standards. It's both a good thing for them and a raging source of jealousy for myself.

[@JirouCh]

I completely agree with the whole "You don't eat the dinner, you don't clean the plates" thing. Before I moved out, I used to have to come home to a kitchen full of dishes and have to clean them before going to bed. Keep in mind I was still going to school and had a part time job from 4-8pm to help my mum with the bills since my dad was an absolute dead beat alcoholic who sat at his couch drinking from noon and literally wants his food handed to him by the family like he was some sort of king and throw a temper tantrum every time my mum tried to do the dishes herself since she can't stand a dirty kitchen. Sometimes the food leftover from dinner are practically scraps so I have to cook more just to get a decent meal. The dishes could've at least been cleaned before I get home since I didn't eat anything and I would've cleaned the ones I'll eat from once I get home. There's a 2 hour bus ride home so I'll have to put up with that as well. By the time I'm home, I'll be exhausted and want to collapse on my bed and get ready for school the next day. Just to give an idea of how much I have to do, there are: -my parents -a younger sister who works with me and has to put up with the same shit I do -two little brothers who can barely read -and some old dude living with us 'cause he's my dad's friend who is "looking for a job" but just sits around like my dad. The dishes pile up from lunch btw, plus everything used to cook everything so that's really not a very relaxing evening after school and work. It doesn't help when it's a pretty stressful week like say an exam week where you'll really just wanna neck yourself at that point. I know I might sound like a whiny brat but come on, if you're just gonna sit there drinkin beer like it's your 9 to 5 then at least get your ass off your "throne," pull your fucking weight and fucking clean up after yourself because you aren't a monarch from the 1500s.

[@pakparker9264]

Omg this is just sooooooo relatable at someone points I was like, "Is she talking about me?" 😂 I'm back home and I took the spring semester off of college because the college I was going sucked and my mom knew I was unhappy so I finished up my fall of 2018 semester and now I'm back home for fall 2019 to go to a new college. Because I'm home I have to help do the chores, which makes sense I'm not arguing that at all, I currently don't have a job (it's complicated but I do really want one rip and I'm currently looking). Anyway, because of this I have been doing ALL the chores and cleaning around the house since I've been back. Now I still have two other siblings who live in that house, my twin (works one day a week because his job is ass and won't give him more hours because he's full time which literally doesn't make sense because he used to get more hours as a part time, dafuq) and little step sister who is only a freshman in highschool. My twin does the bare minimum and almost does nothing but my step sister literally does nothing unless we are supposed to 'tag team' one of the chores, like cleaning the living room (my fam is a slob). I've decided to start a tally system Jan. 16th and currently it is the 24th which means I have done six chores, my twin has done two, and my step sister has done zero. When it comes Feb. 16th I'm calling a family meeting to discuss what needs to be fixed. None of us are above being grounded from our phones because we all live there and the adults pay the phone bills. We all need to put in the same effort to clean the house and keep it tidy and I'm tired of being the only one.

[@eriberrybean]

Finally made a proper account so I could post this comment Thank you for this video. Without going into detail my living situation is eerily similar to this, and hearing that not only do other people go through this but validation that ‘hey this isn’t fair this isn’t your fault’ gives me hope. Do you have any advice on how to escape these situations? Again, thank you for this thank you for giving me hope

[@zapacunotres59]

This defines Mom to a certain degree. She works 12 hours 3 or 4 days a week. She expects us to take her food to the kitchen, do the dishes, clean the house, then gets mad when things aren't done. I can excuse grandma for it because she works and has a bad knee, plus she drives everyone around and cleans up the house sometimes while I'm lazy. I live with grandma, my sisters live with Mom, the thing is I'm not yelled at to do everything for my grandmother, she does expect me to get things done, but doesn't expect me to do everything. IMO, we SHOULD be helping pur parents and grandparents more now than ever due to their aging, but we shpuld then also at least be appreciated for it. My grandma, while not always, does sometimes thank me while Mom is just quiet. Grandma doesn't get overly upset if things are done, I think she does get disappointed though, but Mom gets really mad to the point of yelling. It's kinda ridiculous to me, there are at MINIMUM 3 days a week where my Mom can drive people places, she can clean, and she can relax, nut she is JUST AS lazy as I am! Tbh, it really is sad for a 22 and 42 year old to be lazy when we can be doing things.

[@rayraffiki1856]

My aunt and uncle have flat out said that their youngest isn't going to leave home because he needs to be there to take care of them 😔

[@sashac4577]

Me: washes floor, does laundry, cleans up leaves, and empties dishwasher Mom: I do everything!

[@DarkAngelRabbitX3]

My mom went through a midlife crisis and for about 4-5 years now has stopped being a wife, a mother, and even a damn adult. She just threw a fit and quit her responsibilities and now lives in her own head. Instead of my dad stepping up or doing something about my mother’s behavior he was like “ hey u have to pull ur mothers weight now” she makes a mess, I clean. She breaks a promise, I gotta fix. She had to face no consequences. I felt like I had to parent my damn parents! They would let stuff pile up while I was gone and wait until I got home to do everything, get mad if I missed something. Get mad if I was too sick to do anything like wth why would u want someone sick touching ur dishes and do ur food?! They are horribly messy and when they are gone I only have to do the dishes and trash like twice a week but if they are home I gotta do it twice or more a day!! They laugh and joke and go boo boo chores so hard ur a spoiled brat when I don’t mind doing it all I just hate their attitude about it! They gonna be lost when I’m gone and don’t even realize I’m holding a lot together but I’m ready to just run away from it all but that’s what they get for not respecting me

[@WhiskeredNightfall]

I feel. I paid for my education and had work +extra government education money support and still my parents expected me to keep the house clean and take care of my younger brothers. My mom at the time was working full time and my dad was looking for work so he was basically at home all the time. I didn't understand why he couldn't do some cleaning/washing clothes etc. while the rest of us were away?? He is obese, slow at doing stuff but he was able to do stuff at his weight at that time. It got so bad that I was basically forced to move out because I just couldn't handle it anymore (school, work, taking care of my brothers?? That's not my fucking job, I am not a fucking parent wtf?). Started living at my friend's (then) boyfriend's 3-room-apartment, paid rent and my own stuff like food and laundry and we got along fine until messy breakup happened and I moved back to my parent's place because I could not afford my own place and finding a shared apartment is very difficult. _HUGH SIGH_ At least by the time they broke up I finished and got my degree and was already looking for a job. Parent's are still asses but I have to wait for my boyfriend to graduate so we could look for an apartment together (he lives in a different city).

[@peakinpeakin9884]

The thing I love about your rambles Michie is that I can hear verbally how you're mentaly working through the issue at hand. Well you might be thinking "Ugggh this is just a ton of tangents melding into one". When in reality it's almost like you're holding a daimond up to light and your explanations of the subject your rambling about reflect different sides of the issue; like letting the light in reflect in the diamond. Now on parents entitlements to kids how much do you think of of this is cultural? Obviously if this is too much info on friends back ground I completely understand. One common thread I found listening was that they weren't blood-related they were the live in significant other. Do you think that families have a kind of nepotism towards blood relatives over significant others?

[@Prixoruno]

Twisted: names people off of objects the OSC members watching this: *heavy breathing*

[@suspiciouslysollux590]

The same thing is happening to me. I am 17 and I work and do school. I also flip flop back and forth between my mom and Dads house. My dad understands that I work and do school and he only asks me to do thinks occasionally. At my dads it’s just Me him my brother and my dads girlfriend. At my moms house I’m still expected to do chores and watch my other little brother even though there’s my Mom, Me, My stepdad, My Aunt, and my Uncle(my aunt and uncle aren’t dating they are my moms siblings). My uncle is 42 unemployed and sleeps on my moms couch 14 hours a day. He never does anything and it infuriates me. I still have chores and that’s okay everyone needs to chip in but his chores become mine because he doesn’t do them. I even had to pitch in money for him so he could buy Cigarettes.

[@thecoolestpersononyt859]

When I was having a literal panic attack and couldn’t even breathe without a inhaler, my grandmother said to “stop being a drama queen” 🙂

[@Middle-Age-Mom2694]

I love my parents and I can’t be more grateful for every thing they’ve done for me

[@koolcidanna4049]

I can so relate but i'm just 11... My mom has 4 kids(one of my sisters past but still 4)me 11 my middle sis 9 and little sis 1 and a couple months and since I am the oldest, my mom takes advantage of me all the time. Like, this one day my mom wanted to go to the laundromat and I'm the only one there since my middle sis goes to her dad's and comes back a little later in the day she asked me JUST like this "Hey (My name) can you help me, I'm going to the laundromat I can't watch (little sis name) all by myself" and i say JUST like this "Mom,do I have to go? I don't want to watch (baby sis name) and I can't bring my clothes, please mom I really don't want to watch (little sis name)." my mom just starts EXPLODING with anger and basically tells me I'm a bad kid for not watching my little fucking sister every living second I have I just want to relax and chill since it was saturday/sunday! she yells at me for not wanting to watch my baby SISTER not MY baby, and sure sometimes I will but that is only if you're not leaving and staying in the same area. I just feel so pressured to do what she says to me and if I don't I'm a "Brat" "Bad daughter" and she even calls me a "Bitch"! I'm fucking 11 years old not 30 like you! For god sake you can't take care of 1 kid while you do the laundry,but you've have 4 of them! NO MOM, NO. (sorry I get PRETTY upset about this shit...but thank you for reading if you did!)

[@miserablepumpkin9453]

You're being abused. Get help.

[@koolcidanna4049]

@@miserablepumpkin9453 Thank you but...I can't.. I do have a caring family other that my mom,like my grandparents and since we have had DCFC called to our house if i say anything they will take me and my sisters away. they already did once when i was little and would not let me stay with my grandma since she owned the house. again thank you and in you have questions that you want me answer then i can do so.

[@MooshieChan]

I honestly didn't feel this was as common, I'm surprised. (I'm sorry but this is going to be a long one) My situation started when I was 15 and ended when I was 18, about 8 people in our house, all family. I went to public highschool until I transfered to a somewhat homeschool (basically homework and learning at home and go to school one day a week to take tests and stuff). Every adult had a job except my oldest brother, which was the one who demanded me to do everything. He claimed since I was now home schooled I had more time (untrue since I had to do homework packets, powerpoints, notes, essays, study for my tests. I had to do at least 2-3 credits worth of work a week, but I had to do a little more than that since I was a little behind due to not even having enough time for even school when I was in public highschool for the same reason.) I was told that people that had a job in the house didn't have to clean or they didn't have time to. My brother didn't have a job nor was he going to school, yet he never cleaned or he would take credit for the things I've done (things including cleaning the entire house, yard work for the front and backyard which was always messy,etc.) I would always be so tired after this and would sometimes take a nap after; he would claim I slept all day while I was "being lazy". He would also go on rants about how I should get a job (I've tried may times but I wasn't allowed to even leave my house until I did literally everything he told me to clean, in which most cases he would add more things to the things I needed to get done.) Then I stopped taking naps, but that became a problem since I have insomnia, so I decided to clean in the day and do school work at night. I would only get 3-4 hours of sleep and sometimes no sleep. So it got to the point where I would sometimes take naps again, just to keep me going in the day. That became a problem for him, claiming "aw insomnia? You don't have insomnia, insomnia isn't even real, you just stay up all night on your phone or computer playing games, grow up" Then it went to "You have social anxiety? Then you shouldn't hold yourself up in your room all the time and like I don't know get friends, stop be lazy scum, stop being a low life". I would even try to visit my friends but he wouldn't allow me to..He never helped in the house, but he always had my family make me do it because they didn't want to do it or they didn't want to stand up for me because they were scared of him. He would hit me, he wouldn't allow me to date people unless he was in control, he would always yell at me..threaten me..tell me if I didn't do this or that, that he would make me be on the streets 15 or not. Then came the point where I straight up told him I'm sorry but I need to focus on school for a bit so I can get a job and that after I got a job I wasn't going to clean anymore (you had to have a certain gpa or my school wouldn't allow me to get a job until I was 18) he told me I had to still clean and everything even if I had a job. With the current struggle of maintaining 3-4 hours of sleep, there was no way, not even a way I could have a job while doing that. So, I decided to keep everything to myself and rebel (did clean if it got bad though) I did my own needs first and took care of my responsibilities. I cleaned after myself, went to school, sleep, but he started to lie to people that I was skipping school, making a mess in the house ect. just to make me look like the bad guy. Friends of family and family hated me, which messed with my depression, I started to hole up in my room for a week straight until I snapped out of it. I got into a long distance relationship, then after a few months of dating I had to explain why I was rarely able to call him and explained my situation. My bf, my bf wanted me out of there, but we were across the country from eachother. (I lived in cali at the time) He didn't care, he bought me the plane ticket, and I flew to him. I'm very happy to be with him now. I sometimes feel bad because I feel like I'm not doing enough, but my bf reassures me that I'm doing enough and everyone takes there part and that's how it should be. Extra story: My glasses broke at one point and I couldn't see without them (doctor said I had 20/400 vision, yikes) so I was excused from school and didn't clean; I still tried to do homework and stuff. My brother tried to convince everyone that my sight is fine and that I'm only pretending to be blind so I wouldn't have to clean. Everyone else in the family didn't believe it since my mom, older sister, and little brother went with me to the appointment and we even had a excuse note for my school. TLDR; Lazy brother controls my life and makes me miserable for 3-4 years, bf learns about it and flies me across the country away from them so I can be happy. I'm still healing but I'm happy. My mom is proud that I did something about it. I'm sorry about how long this is, just want to share my experience..

[@WlfToboe]

(Really long post, I just really wanted to vent I guess ;; ) This video speaks with me, I have mental and physical disabilities that legitimately prevent me from getting a job and I live at home with just my parents my brother moved out years ago, I pay rent (I do art as a form of work so I can buy things I need) I help get groceries and help around the house but my mother just.. //hurts me to the point I don't want to do any of this anymore.// She is demanding and if I am not 100% perfect and not 100% doing stuff around the house, if I have an off day mentally or physically where it actually hurts to do anything I get yelled at as the //worst child, the most ungrateful little brat. She sees me as this horrible monster that lives in her house if I don't get her a soda that she could get up and walk 10 steps to get herself// I am leaving out one huge thing- My mother is also disabled, she was diagnosed with MS in like 2004 but at the time of diagnosis she was capable of doing things for herself and was working a full time job and if I had the chance even at the age of 10 I'd clean and prepare the house for her and my father, I did anything she asked because it felt right, it felt like I was helping them. In around 2008-2009 my parents were in a car accident that hospitalized them for a week and when they came home both were clearly very damaged from the accident and so I'd come home from school, do my home work then spend the rest of the day cleaning, cooking getting them stuff as they recovered and I did this for the whole summer after their accident but it didn't stop there- my mother developed seizures from anxiety and that lasted 2 years of her life and so I never stopped doing chores, helping I did everything for her and them because I love them and want them to be able to relax after a long day of work but then my mom stopped working and started sleeping all day everyday- this was before she actually was unable to help herself and she'd just sit on the couch demanding me and my father to do stuff everyday when she wasn't asleep. Then something happened, and I started resenting her. I have no clue what it was but one day I just.. didnt want to keep doing these things, I've been doing this all day everyday since I was a pre-teen, no breaks just always dropping everything to help her or to do things for her. One day she just started mentally abusing me if I didn't do things, accusing me of hate accusing me of loving my father more and treating her like trash, but I never do that, I have always been there for her in every horrible siuation she had I was the first responder everytime to help her but now she just screams hate at me, I can't rub sleep from my eyes without being insulted as a shitty child. Then recently I had surgery and found out I can't have kids and I was just really stressed and depressed from all of that and my mom just chased me to my room and screamed insults and absolute hate at me for hours outside my bedroom door until I had to call my brother to get him to calm her down, all because I was too unwell to do a simple task and asked if it was okay not to do it that day. I'm tired, I want to keep helping but at the same time I just can't do this all day everyday and the kicker- my mom tells me often I can never leave. She's done everything she can to stunt my growth and learning so that I can stay here and be her servant till the day she dies and whats worse is I literally have no clue how to live on my own she refuses to teach me any of the things needed to live in the real world so when she dies I am gonna have the worlds worst panic attack. I'm 27 now.

[@Mosobot64]

WlfToboe If she’s chasing you to your bedroom door, she’s clearly not that disabled. Leave your lying mother. You’re smart enough to work things out and she can clearly take care of herself.

[@isabelleruiya640]

This video really resonated with me. I'm still living with my parents at the age of 27, but definitely not by choice. I've accrued a few disabilities due to many causes, and one of them is being blind. I had been doing chores and acting the slave role in the house since I was a child. My older sister was blind from birth and she wasn't expected to do chores, but she dusted our room because if it wasn't done at least once a week she would get very sick due to allergies. I also helped because she was my role model my whole life being so strong in spite of being blind. At first, my doing chores was voluntary. I was young and didn't know a lot of things to do with my time. I liked being active, didn't like being competitive or playing sports really, and I could do chores in a way that it gave me a nice daily workout. At some point it became expected and I was belittled when I wouldn't do chores, or yelled at for not making sure the house was clean before going to bed. I always ensured I cleaned up after myself, and my older sister who wasn't able to see. Now at this point, I've developed blindness as bad as my sister's, and we're both lucky enough to have been able to develop keen echolocation sense which had helped us with getting around. Still, expected to do all the chores in the house, in spite of all of our disability funds going to our parents. I had steady jobs ever since the age of 12, which is considered illegal where I live, so I had the stint where I was working 12+ hour days and was still expected to clean up all the messes I didn't make in the house. I'm still expected while blind to teach my older sister how to clean the house while being blind because of my fast acclimation to being able to handle being blind. I have numerous reasons to be unable to find work at this point, and my father especially claims that how well I've handled being blind, I must be faking it and he yells at me to get a job every chance he gets, be a normal person and be a productive member of society. I'm just so exhausted at this point and hearing this video talk about this made me want to vent. It's taken a while to type this out because my assisting program is acting up tonight, but hopefully if someone reads my situation, NOBODY ELSE SHOULD HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE SAME. Life went from looking decent for a future, to literal pitch black depression and it's been over a year for me being blind. Thankfully I have friends who give me reason to live.

[@Yuffie]

My grandmother adopted my brothers and me due to some issues with other things and the second I moved in, she expected me to help with everything, which I didn't mind at first because I was used to it from my mother. But then it just got worse and she used things like "It was our decision to take in the baby after your mother had him" when I was only 14 or so. I turned 18 a couple months ago and was expected to start paying rent right away because she wasn't getting adoption money anymore for me. And she still expects me to be home constantly unless I'm at work, babysit constantly even when she's still in the house, do anything she says right away, and if I don't, she goes on about how I'm ruining her day and all her plans. Just recently I stayed a couple days at my partners and it pissed her off so she told me to clean my room (she called it a dump) or she would clean it by throwing everything away and she'd charge me $100. Keep in mind, she hasn't bought anything of mine. I've had a job since 15 and have bought all of the stuff I want and need.

[@dragonildreamy161]

My dad basically gets angry when I don't do his requests quickly and make mistakes by angry I mean yelling and tries to humiliate me for it

[@ScottySR]

Listening to rants/stories etc. while drawing is a nice change from listening to music all the time

[@Deadchannel700]

Revisiting this video after the conversation I was a part of regarding how many people had kids with the expectation that those kids would care for them in old age is explains a LOT about the stuff you talk about in this video. Especially because a lot of these people are now having crises because not only is it so that a lot of these said children can barely support themselves, let alone their parents, the children don't WANT to because their parents forgot that not starving your child and making sure their shoes fit is the BARE MINIMUM and you actually have to build a positive emotional bond with your child for them to want to care for you.

[@Connor-qz5ew]

Lol christmas was almost a month ago :p thank you for working to get this out i hope some parents listen to this and change there ways..

[@CambionKaaera]

I have a brother who has high functioning autism who worked two jobs, (one which was a school job thing made for people with disabilities to work at, it had a pottery place and a nursery in it, and the other he worked as an actor) he used to come home from the bus and he'd be sore from the physical labor (to be expected when working) sometimes he'd get cuts on his hands and arms from the plants with thorns or whatever but at least he is doing something. Then switch to my mother and she is what we call a doll bludger (aussie slang i think but it means u fake an illness to get a disability pension from the government) and she would sleep in to 2pm and just watch foxtex/netflix or go on facebook all day. She wouldn't do anything for my brother and she was his legal guardian, he cooks, cleans and cares for himself as if he were his own legal guardian which is ridiculous. I used to cook for him when I lived there just to give him a break. TBH my brother is in his early 30's, and for his disability he is probably more capable to do adulting than those without any form of disability or weakness. I would help him move out but because I am only a half sibling (or something idk the law is weird) I am not legally allowed to he is to just slave away for my mums needs until they day they go.

[@hauntedshadowslegacy2826]

If he's in his early 30's, shouldn't the guardianship status of the mother be dissolved by now? Autism (high functioning, at that) certainly shouldn't be enough to keep him locked under her supervision, right? I'm not Aussie, so I dunno just how different things are there, but still... Australia isn't Pakistan or Saudi Arabia. You guys do have SOME level of personal agency, right? Especially beyond the legal drinking age?

[@figaroismycat]

omg this hit me on such a personal level. I kid you not, its SO hard to get out of a situation like that ifyou don't rather live of the streets.

[@MrVivisexy]

Haha that moment when you feel like crap because you’re 26 and still don’t have your own place because grad school is expensive af

[@Wolvesbane39]

This is so true to how I lived for awhile. After I lost my mom I was in a bad way and I was on auto pilot. Then I moved in with my partner's parents, who didn't pay rent themselves, and neither did we. Our goal was to find better work and earn enough to move out. At first it was fine, I was working, my partner was working with a company that helps people with disabilities find work. Then my partner starter working, and I lost my job, found a temporary one and was looking for work again when things started going bad. We'd be screamed at for not doing dishes when we were out all day (And they had a dish washer!), when the stove was dirty, taking too long of a shower, or even coming home too late when we were adults. We paid for our own transportation, part of our food, and toiletries. However they seemed to start to hate us for the food costs doubling, but we were two extra people who would walk most days a mile up or downhill. We became miserable. And just when I got a new job the unthinkable happened, they gave us an unreasonable deadline to move out, forced us into a scam that lost us all our savings and then some, and still kicked us out. As if everything were our fault that bad things were happening. I was broken mentally. Then we moved back in to my previous home, where my dad and uncle were still living with my younger siblings. My uncle then turned his back on us as if we should suffer for the wrong done to us, called the police for "trespassing" when my dad invited us to stay. I was so grateful when he moved out and I could relax a little. However, because I lost my job and was looking for work, I was home a lot. I tried so hard to make systems for the house to function, but every action I took to make things better would be ignored. Then I'd be asked to do even more than I was expecting to do. To the point I felt like a maid in my own home. For awhile I've been a caregiver for my family.. and it's been hard. It's gotten a little better, but not the best.

[@orangepanda2241]

I really liked this talk. I am also someone who is living in a family members house. I am living rent free and said family member is handicapped. I am basically a live in personal assistant. I clean, organize, drive, and help her transfer from one place to another since she is in a wheelchair. I am obligated to help her because she has provided me with this amazing opportunity to live rent free but also learn to be independent while still having someone to rely on. I also wanted to go into the medical field so this is giving me some experience on how to care for someone. This video has made me even more grateful for my situation. I really just wanted to say thank you. And to those of you who aren't as lucky, I really wish ya'll the best. One day, even if it does take a lot of work and time, we will become our own independent person.

[@rosewood3pw844]

This video hit me with a pile of bricks and I'm glad that you brought the issue up. I used to live at a house where neighbors would break out windows, try to walk in, break the doors with a hammer, burn the place down, and we even had a roommate try to steal our stuff. It got so bad though that we eventually had to move in with our grandparents (when I say "our" I mean my brothers, my mom, and me) which wasn't all too bad. But I was still getting over our last house and everything. But then I was expected to do the dishes, do everyone's laundry, take out the trash, make the living room, and more while keeping up my grades in school. It got so bad to where I was still doing what they were telling me willingly, but every day when I got home it was a fight for me to do my homework against myself and I was physically and emotionally stressed out. At school even we had tons of projects since it was 6th grade and they were preparing us for middle school in 7th (I'm in 7th now) and every day I ended up crying in the bathroom and I was also upset about how I looked and just everything was a mess. But my grades started to drop and I was trying to focus in school and understand the work but no matter what it just wouldn't click and everyone at school would call me lazy for not understanding and being able to get things done in a timely manner. I almost failed the grade, and so my grandparents thought that it was the fact that after I was done with everything at the end of the day I would use my phone as a reward to myself for getting things done and not giving up that I was suffering in school. So they took away my phone and computer which I used to motivate me to keep on working harder. About a week later I ended up writing them a note about how I was using it as a coping mechanism because I was always stressed out and crying, thinking nothing would ever get better on top of the fact that everyone said that if I kept this up I wouldn't graduate. Which tore me apart and made it harder. I also mentioned in the note that I had an online brotherly figure that would be there for me and that motivated me to keep pushing through. Once they read the note my grandparents were saying that I just wrote it because I wanted my phone back and none of it was true. But somewhere in their heart they felt bad and knew I was being genuine. But they said that I might have depression because of all the thoughts I had. And they took me out to eat and get out of the house. But they never gave me my phone back until the day we moved a week later. Now in middle school I have close to all A's and B's which is the best that I've ever gotten. But I'm not as pressured now because now because of that learning experience I only have to do my dishes, cook my own food, do my school work, make my bed, clean after myself, and I don't have to take care of anyone else in the family as long as I do my best. And I'm happy now for that, but at least because of my experience I found my love for poetry.. which I used to use to vent my feelings during bad times, but now I just do it for fun. And though I lost that friend because I came out as gay, I'm still in a better situation. And though my story (which still continues) ended with a happy ending, I know that not many people get that luxury. So I wish that everyone do their best, and that if I could push through then you can too. I have faith in you all. Please, anyone who continued reading, make sure to have a good day and I love you all.

[@paddlewagons]

I'm so glad you talked about this cause no one else I've heard will. My 3 cousins ages range to 9-12 and they literally do everything in the house while their mom drinks wine and watches TV. The oldest who is 12 makes dinner washes the house and does any command his mom tells him to do. What's worse is she's denying him to get an education because she's scared he'll get covid even though she never even wears a mask in public. I agree kids should be taught basic chores like dishes and doing laundry but like they aren't house maids!? A 12 year old shouldn't have to cook dinner for a house of 5 and literally clean everything. Luckily or as far as I know she doesn't "abuse" them verbally or physically she just needs to let her kids be kids.

[@youcantlotorme8528]

Thank you for talking out about this. This first video I saw of yours that wasn’t strictly art (I’ve seen a few bits and pieces of your videos here and there.) and I was also wondering why no one else talked about this.

[@mistymist5808]

Who dislike the video are the people that Pen lived with.

[@pepsicat2190]

I was the middle child for so long, and I had to do everything in the house. Cleaning the dishes, vacuuming, cleaning my sister's bedroom and taking care of all the pets. My older brother was gone all the time with friends and my little sister didn't have to do anything. I've been cooking my own food for quite awhile, learned to make mac and cheese when I was around 5 or so. I always cleaned up after myself but I still had to clean up after everyone's messes. When My mother got a job I was incharge of looking after my little sister, who was old enough to look after herself. I'd cook supper, argue with her to go to bed, do some school work or other things, clean up after super and then take a break myself. It wasn't the worst thing, cause I grew up with that being normal and the kids do all the house work and the parents make money. But after awhile I got tired of cleaning up after everyone and getting in trouble when I'd leave a mess out. I wasn't the best child, cause I'd complain about having to do something or take ages to do something, but I always did it.

[@starkid4299]

I'm only 17 atm, but I can relate to this. My older brother (who is 20) went through similar stuff with my parents that you discuss in this video. But, since he moved out earlier this year, they've turned all their shitty behavior towards me. Our mom is emotionally abusive and has unhealthy, codependent relationships with everyone in the family, our dad is an enabler. So, m parents act like I owe them something for gifts I get, they act like I don't do chores (we don't have regular chores, but we used to, and when we did, I was always on top of mine) or I'm somehow the most difficult rebellious teen they've ever seen and it's just ssoooooo hard to raise me (even though I'm quiet and I stay our of their way and I always do what they ask). My parents love to act like I owe them all the respect in the world, too, when they show me none. And they constantly act like they're always the victims in every situation, and /I/ need to change, /I/ need to apologize, /I/ hurt their feelings, and their feelings are so much more important than mine, a literal child?? Okay, I guess??

[@anamillia7108]

I totally agree. I also believe that with this laziness mentality comes sassy people such as "I didn't do that so I don't have to clean up." This happens all the time with the little kids I coach. The good thing is its only 5 kids out of 60 that are sassy. Also I'm so glad you talked about this I really needed to hear it from someone's mouth.

[@Jennas121]

This rings so true to my life. Thankfully, I did not turn out to be lazy when living by myself, but not really wanting to contact or "catch up" with my particular family member is very accurate. Its been 5 years since I full time lived under my parents roof, but I still have moments of stress and anxiety from how I was treated at that place. I was to do almost all of the chores, mostly that dealt with cleaning, even if it wasnt my mess or I wasnt related to the mess, and as you clearly say that I was never genuinely thanked for doing. I was shouted at and talked down for wanting to engage in anything extra curricular, because it would be money they would fork out, even though they had all the time since i did all the cleaning. I never felt comfortable being at home because i knew that if i was sittimg somewhere for too long, my parent would come and yell at me for not doing the chores she demanded me of. It makes me feel better, although more worrisome, that there are other people that have dealt with parents or family members that acted like this. Thank you for this video!

[@idiedyesterday6581]

My parents have treated me like a servant for as long as I remember. Every weekend morning they would work us for chores intel night, they do it even on school days so I never get my homework done. Then when my dad gets home my mom lies and says she did all the work so my dad gets us to do even more work, or he grounds us. :(

[@zabergen482]

this stuff is real it happened with my mum even when she was the a teen during school and now everyone expects her to do everything

[@12fuzzyrats]

My mom is just like Pen's spouse's family! She's the only one in the house that doesn't work, I have a job and go to school, my brother has a job and my dad's about to retire. The only thing in the house she does (chore wise) that she doesn't throw a tantrum about is cooking. Every other chore is up to me and my brother and if we dare confront her about it, she throws a hissy fit and uses weaponized guilt against us. Just today, she threatened to lock up all the food and dishes because my brother and I didn't put the dishes away when we barely get any time to ourselves and all she does is sit on her ass browsing Facebook! I'm sick and tired of it and the moment I can afford my own place I'm leaving and never looking back! The kicker is, we never ask her for anything. We never ask her to do anything and we never say no (mostly because we can't with her) and yet, she still plays the victim! She even wrote a rant about how we treat her like a fucking maid on the kitchen wall (it's painted with chalkboard paint) even though the opposite is true!

[@rachellesteinwand6574]

This was extremely relate-able... I lived with my aunt and uncle until I was 17, and actually had a respectful relationship with them regarding chores around the house. I lived with roommates from 18-23 and never had a problem doing house cleaning and was actually considered the "clean" one most of the time. Then, due to crazy outrageous rent (eyy California is nuts!) I wound up in a situation where I was forced to move out of the city I lived in and was invited to stay with my grandmother in a town a few hours away. She offered to let me stay rent free as long as I had a job and went back to school, which I did right away! I worked 2 jobs as a server so mornings and weekends, and then in the evening I had night school. Classes ran until 10pm because it was the only time slot I could get to work with my job(s) so I was practically never at home. And yet, my grandmother would come barging into my room at 7am declaring that she needed me to start yard work. Now, being a server is physically taxing, especially since I was working 7 days a week, and still doing school in the evenings, so I was exhausted. I still never said no, and I always did whatever she demanded of me, and yet she would still claim I was being 'lazy' for sleeping until 9am some days. I tried to explain to her SO MANY TIMES that I needed time at home to do homework, and that I also needed sleep but she just wouldn't hear it. Her argument was always "you live here rent free so you have to do whatever I want!" The second I had enough money to move out, I found a living room for rent in a 1-bedroom apartment a few miles away and jumped ship. She was *livid* that I left. She would still call me and ask, in a fake-sweet voice, that I come over to help her with chores and I simply told her that I was busy and couldn't do it. She kept trying to guilt me into it, but eventually hired someone to come to the house and do work for her. And let me clear, she is very active for her age, and is in no way impaired or unable to do these tasks, she just didn't want to do it herself. TLDR; Moving back in with family after living on your own for awhile is jarring. Even in my mid-twenties I still get treated like a 'lazy' 'ungrateful' teenager, despite working multiple jobs and providing for myself. I paid all my own bills, paid for my utilities, insurance, food, car, EVERYTHING, except rent.

[@AuroraLalune]

People like this have always existed. With me I wasn't even an adult and I literally didn't even have time to do homework because my grandmother had me scrubbing the place top to bottom and every time I'd start it was "do this" or "do that". If I didn't hear her or didn't come right away or asked for a delay to finish what I was already doing(be it an attempt at homework or something else she already had me doing) that was unacceptable to her. I had to drop everything. Naturally she pretended she couldn't do some of these things herself. I wouldn't have minded if it was only what she needed help with but here's the thing- if you can drag a kid and later teen by her pony tail... Your not as bad off as to "need" a lot of what she pretended to need in front of other people. She could stand long enough to do dishes. She could put rinse them off and put them in the dishwasher. She could clean her own breathing equipment(most of the time anyway- for obvious reasons there were sometimes she genuinely did need help)... But the thing is I was doing all these things and making diner etc and she even would often take credit or denote my role in it and just- to this day I cannot honestly say I have a single solidly happy memory of my grandmother. I have some sprinkled in that were mixed a little or neutral but most of it was misery. After I left, despite constantly telling people I was lazy etc(mostly because it was never good enough for her- she literally broke some of my stuff because she said I didn't dust well enough for her) they got a nurse to do some of the things she had me doing and a housekeeper-also to do things she had me doing. The level of pissed I was... Never once did anyone ever say "thankyou". It was just expected and if I complained I was the problem.

[@x_SpookyxBakedxBiscuit_x]

Yep. My (boomer) mother was like this 100%. (I'm an only child and my 'donor' isn't in the picture at all.) I lived with my mother until I was 24, almost 25. My mother drove herself into the ground when she didn't have to, and didn't take care of herself and is now disabled. She expected me for years to basically be her at home caretaker for free with no thank yous, nothing. I bent over backward, drove her everywhere, ect. for her and she constantly treated me like a servant (she's also very much a narcissist). I've also had bad mental illnesses since a young age because of a lot of trauma in my childhood along with health issues and never was great with jobs, dropped out of school, find it hard to even take care of MYSELF and keep up with everything personally, ect. (I was also expected to pay rent and go back to school, and any/every little thing including raising me was held over my head or expected to be paid back while I received no validation for my own accomplishments or struggles, illnesses, my gender identity ect. Even as far as to tell me i was faking being depressed and having severe panic attacks) I finally got out of that toxic parental situation and now live with my wonderful fiancee. I still have trouble working, now only doing what little my body can handle and side jobs/etsy/ect and still have days where i can't even physically/mentally get out of bed but I do just about EVERYTHING around the house (since he is salaried and spends 10-12+ hour days at work on his work days and even gets called in occasionally on days off), that I can physically do on as much of a daily basis as possible and I feel HORRIBLE when I don't get anything done besides maybe throwing dinner in the oven. My mother still tries to pull her manipulative tactics with me to this day but thankfully I only see her about once a month, if that. Sorry for the long rant, it's just that this topic resonated with me.

[@aselia8826]

As a college student who had to move home due to illness, this hit real close to home. At first, when I came home for visits in between semesters, I would obviously help out with stuff as well as clean up after myself always, but my mother would try extra hard to make sure I felt welcome in her boyfriend's home. Setting up the spare room for me and moving her stuff out, etc. It was a mutual respect kind of thing, as we struggled a lot in my high school days. I was doing well in my courses and working part time during the semester, and they were kind enough to let me enjoy my time off rent-free just by pitching in. Everything changed when I came home from being sick, though. In spite of my doctor recommending I take time off even before I reached an official diagnosis, the welcome atmosphere kind of faded right away. Even though I've finally been diagnosed and any doubts about my illness are put to bed, I'm expected to do twice as much as I did when I was well and able. Like, obviously if I had just dropped out of college of my own volition this would be acceptable, but now its like this weird...punishment for my 'failure'. I'm constantly getting passive aggressive comments about what more needs done around the house or about getting a job, and if I spend too much of my energy trying to do a favor (i.e something bigger than a chore, like running errands, driving elderly relatives around, etc.) to make things easier, I'm always met with surprise when I feel adverse affects for it later. It's not like I don't pick up after myself or cook a meal for everyone every now and again, I just can't clean the house from top to bottom every few days because then I wouldn't have the energy to look after my own basic needs. And when I talk about perhaps moving in with another relative or working towards the goal of moving out first rather than finishing school, (I was going into a very VERY stressful field) I'm met with shock and even hurt feelings. I felt more taken care of when I was healthy and 'making the family look good' than when I actually needed to be taken care of. That's the fucked up thing. These parents don't see you as a person worthy of basic respect, just like a prop or a tool that needs to fulfill whatever purpose they assign to it.

[@IceRiver1020]

On the other hand, my uncle and his wife lived with my grandparents for a while and they were AWFUL, they expected my grandparents to do everything for them, and they weren't even asked to pay rent! My mom was so angry about it, and her parents wouldn't stand up for themselves. Perhaps this scenario is less common, but it happens both ways.

[@hiyokosaionji2205]

I've been watching your videos a lot lately and my coloring has really improved from watching you do it. Thank you!!!

[@Autumn66614]

I've never known how to articulate this feeling but I completely get what you mean. back before I worked full time, my family would give me a twenty or something to do chores for them, except for the times they didn't. So a few months later I get a full time job and start working on art and caring for my own house and property. And, without fail, my mom or aunt would call me up and say things like "come over and whack the weeds" "come over and mow the lawn" "I need you to drive me into the city today" They wouldn't ask when I worked or if I had plans and if I let slip when my day off was they would act like that day was for me to come over and work for them instead. The thing is that there was no reason they couldn't do their own chores again. They just got used to not having to do it. My aunt will literally let the grass and weeds grow a foot high and would rather wait until she can get one of my cousins to come over and do it. The thing is, my mom always uses the excuse that she helped me pay bills when she moved it for a while. When I finally had to kick her out because of her hoarding problems and always being abusive to my partner, Vivian, she threatened to stop helping me with ANYTHING. Just because I wouldn't tolerate her shouting, and throwing tantrums, and filling our home with garbage. But you know what? After she moved out, I went to get the bills in order and found out she hadn't been paying them on time and we were 2-3 months in the hole. When I confronted her about it when she tried to use her helping us as leverage, She screamed and bellowed that I was a liar and that she had everything paid in full. I STILL have the paperwork that says she's lying. And I'm sorry but six months of help with money from her does not equal 5 years or labor from me. (I wish I was kidding)

[@misslucybear]

You seriously have the best stories, and I love your approach to the various situations. Extremely honest, and heartfelt. I get something out of each of them, not trying to sound cheesy but you are great to listen to.

[@laurinha2892]

Yesss, you don't just gain respect, you gotta earn it.

[@akira1086]

Thank you SO FUCKING MUCH! i've vented about this kinda thing to friends, but i could never sum it up as great as you did in this video, thank you, i needed this. Also beautiful art!

[@skuttle7107]

This hit way to close to home!! I am the oldest siblibg of 4 and I have always been expected to do a lot when it comes to chores, working, ect., And I cannot wait until I have enough money to move out so I no longer have to deal with the unholy amount of work I have to do T^T