Re-Upload: Enneagram The High Low Side Of Type 8

[@kimberlydavis7979]

Recently discovered I am an 8, after literally 5 years of believing I was a 5 because I was unhealthy mentally. Thank you so much for helping me understand myself!

[@ToBeALegacy]

So interesting! I'm a 5, but when I'm feeling extra confident, I feel myself sliding into 8 (usually at work). I have tested as a 5 twice and an 8 once. ENTJ is my Myers Briggs, with alternatively ISTJ which is more five-ey. I believe I'm more of a 5 by nature.

[@gooddaygene8355]

Ditto on that. Feels like the damn has cracked and all that I am is free, or at least more so than before. Damn 5 disintegration.

[@ukflifestyle]

I knew I was an 8 before I took any test but I do slip into a 5 especially when I lose some of my confidence. I become almost obsessed with research and self improvement and I put less priority on my social life

[@slq4358]

Think I'm about to find out the same. Not after 5 years but 15.

[@stolen3moon]

Same thing happened to me

[@Chorbus]

I’m an 8, feels so good not be alone, I assumed i was broken. I hope we all get what we need. THANK YOU!

[@espressoshot21]

I'm an 8w7 and this video has literally changed my life. Thank you so much for taking your time to make this. Your videos have been of incredible guidance & encouragement. I really respect your wise perspectives on life. Please continue to make more videos about type 8s

[@summitgames6061]

I'm ENTJ 8W7. Do you have any toxic traits?

[@BigPapa64469]

press F to doubt

[@arizonamonarch]

For this 8, one of the best pieces of advice I hear from you and that has turned out to be one of the hardest things for me to do is to pause! Pausing is so unnatural and almost impossible for me to do especially when I'm in the midst of a high emotion of any kind. Pause. Pause. Sure. lol

[@davedemaray2870]

Pause sounds easy when I am not already full on postal about nothing.

[@Mr1998Brandonify]

Dude, pausing?! There are things to do! Seriously, pausing is like pulling teeth. So true

[@DoubleStudentLoans]

100%,

[@majesticwonder]

Lol . Same

[@dezi.7604]

“Fearing you and loving you is not the same thing” As an 8, I wasn’t gonna comment on ANY of this ....but then I heard that line. You got me. 🧐

[@anne-noellelenoble8486]

Thanks a lot for these videos. It help me, as a 8, to understand why I went in burn out and identify how unhealthy I was.

[@andrewwabik5125]

Dr. Lahue, what are your thoughts on 8 going to 5 when their environment is toxic? As an example, when I lived with my father (a fairly unhealthy 8w9), I (8w7) would fight with him and reached a point where I realized that it was futile. He made life for my mother and I a living hell. I relied on 5 so much that for years I thought I was a 5. It wasn't until I got out of that situation that my natural vitality reamerged. Going to 5 was a survival mechanism for me.

[@melissawitham6847]

I did the same when I was bullied as a kid. I was a loner at a very young age (smart but would rather read or listen to music than play with the others) bc my friends all moved away in elementary school and went to a different middle school as the others but when I got to high school I was still so upset with being in classes with them again I was super angsty and my loner tendencies came back. It wasn’t until I was out of that environment I was able to come into my true self and they wouldn’t recognize me now (as an extroverted professional circus acrobat)

[@andrewwabik5125]

@@melissawitham6847 yeah, for me the difference is night and day. The confidence and natural gusto for life is intense. I don't understand why anyone likes me at all, and I can be a negative prick sometimes. But I learned to stop questioning everything and just live and learn.

[@NewlyAwakened]

I try to use my time in Ennegram 5 as a timeout and recharge my batteries. As 8's it is inevitable that we will reach burn out with life because fact is we can't control everything or more precisely we can't do what we want all the time and the pressure from the outside world constantly trying to get us to conform can only be held at bay for so long. Going to 5 isn't all bad. I'm not an unhealthy 8 so I don't become some crazy stalker trying to investigate and get the scoop on enemies at 5. I just become more introverted and would rather read, learn, watch movies, "investigate" the world itself during these phases vs being out in the world being the master of my domain, lol.

[@andrewwabik5125]

@@NewlyAwakened when i go to 5 in extreme periods I often go cold and become very detached and listless. Ill research different things and try to understand myself, or the situation better.

[@NewlyAwakened]

@@andrewwabik5125 Me too but understand that there's nothing wrong with that. You have a right to be detached and in your own zone. Achieving zen is the ability to find peace in any state of mind and gratitude with what you have and who you are- not what you do not have and what you are "supposed" to be. I think us 8's are known to be the most in tune spiritually because of our ability to understand suffering and loneliness and solitude so well from a young age of learning we cannot count on others and having to rely on ourselves. We are instinctual and our gut guides us more truly than any outside source. So once you really figure yourself out and accept yourself as the perfect person you are you accept the warts and scars and you find peace with that. We are like the Baby Face George Nelson character from the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou, lol. 8's may seem bipolar at times but we are never down for long! Another thing that can make the journey as an 8 easier is to learn from mistakes-yes we make them too! Don't be arrogant that you are always right. When you are wrong admit it. Learn from mistakes and be better next time. No one is perfect but we can try to be our best every day. The nice thing that helps us to be so resilient is that we rarely regret anything. Hope this helps 😊

[@analia225]

You better preach, good sir! You are 🗣 TEACHING to-day!!! 👏🏾 👏🏾

[@lordkjamal]

I’m very 8 and 7:10 completely against my thoughts, feeling, and behaviors. I lend others my stuff but I never use what’s not mine.

[@purplebeauty780]

I spent a while in stress and in mentally unhealthy states, moving to 5, being withdrawn, cold, detached, distant and disconnected, and I was so familiar with that state that I and some others thought I was a 5, but looking back I was bullied and felt emotionally unstable, and being cold and disconnected and withdrawn is not the real me. I'm more open, fiery, action oriented, energetic and impulsive and wanting to make an impact.

[@ashleyching3166]

Meekness is restrained power. Weakness is no power.

[@LelaBria]

This one 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@triciamoss9074]

Just listened for the second time and this time I took notes. I've only recently started learning about the Enneagram, and I have found it so helpful in understanding my husband of 25 years, who is very, very 8. I've seen the worst and the best of him and every point you made about 8s applies to him. It has been like finally taking the back of the watch off and seeing all the gears move. I am so much more appreciative of his strengths, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and motivations. I feel like I understand more of the why behind his actions. By the way, I had a lot of trouble figuring out his type at first. Tests were not helpful at all. He was testing as 1 and 5 equally. I'm a 1 so I knew that wasn't right! Just reading the descriptions, I thought he was a 6 because he is so fiercely loyal, prone to anxiety, and full of contradictions. Listening to this made me realize that he is an 8 under stress. The big tip-off for me in deciding between 8 and 6 was the anger vs. fear piece. Hope this is helpful to someone.

[@analia225]

I’ve spent half this video talking with you 😂. The accuracy. I shouted, “amen!” Several times.

[@nurtureulifecoaching3226]

I have listened to this before. It’s one of the best videos on being an 8!

[@staceyknoell6339]

Whew! For the most part, I am a healthy 8 (years of yoga/meditation/inner work). But I have an in-laws situation that is not healthy and almost toxic and everything you said about going to 5 in a hard way, right down to my attitude toward these family members as, "PEACE OUT"...man, that rings so true! There is still work I need to do!

[@keshia_b]

My spouse is an 8 (I am a 5) and I really enjoyed learning more about his high and low side. Thank you for these videos! They are super helpful and I appreciate how you explain everything so well.

[@biancaklinger]

Amazing video! Felt like I just learned a lot about myself. Also; I really enjoyed watching until the last minute of the video. Your speaking skills are incredible!

[@smile2024-c7s]

I am an 9 w 8, and so much of what you said, I can relate to, and honestly my wing 8 only comes out if their is an injustice or a misunderstanding or something that would cause damage to ourselves or others, and in a family or organization, people often throw the 9 in to help solve problems and reach for understanding, or sometimes the, 9 throw themselves in, because they realize that this misunderstanding or problem will lead to the dominos effect... As the 9w8 gets older, we get a little smarter and wiser, and we learn how to protect ourselves, when we are helping in difficult, high intensity situations, and we develop better judgment on if we should get involved or not , we don’t let people push us consciously or unconsciously... we learn to protect ourselves first... thank you so much for making these video, I have learned so much, and I am able to better help my family and friends, as I learn more and more everyday...

[@tatiannamiv]

Omg. I retreat to a 5 This is me! And apathy crawls in, and I turn COLD.

[@gracepurcell7825]

i can relate.

[@andrewwabik5125]

Yes. Just Frigid. Just..I'm done (fuck you people). With me, a lot of times I'll "reload" and try to calm myself through playing and listening to music. I know not all 8s are creatively inclined, but I am. It really helps sometimes.

[@mtp6572]

@@andrewwabik5125 A lot of 8s are creative as a stress relief activity. I will go to my drum kit or listen to hard rock or metal and find solace in the music.

[@andrewwabik5125]

@@mtp6572 Nice! I just don't see as many 8 musicians around me, but I know we exist. I love drums but the guitar is my instrument of choice.

[@melissawitham6847]

Yep 100%

[@leetrin-lavery]

Thank you for your channel It is helping me, tremendously!

[@aagrimes3837]

I definitely take action and be defensive after being hurt and I do have a hard time trusting people. Thank you for sharing this information it is helpful.

[@alexleitch37]

Thanks Dr Tom. I am an 8 and two of my closest friends (who I spend heaps of time with) are a 7 and a 9 (my wings). The woman I wanted to marry (and a past long time best friend) was a 5 and I live with my mum who is a 2. My Dad is a 7 and my sister is a 6. My brother is a 3 (and an impressively great 3 at that). Learning about the Enneagram (over the past 5 years) has enlightened me and empowered me. Often people are completely astounded by my Enneagram insights and I strive to let them know that my knowledge and passion come from studying the Enneagram and by trying to listen to the divinely patient "still small voice" of Holy Spirit. My favourite application of the Enneagram comes by combining it with the redemption offered in accepting the salvation of God. That being offered through divine grace of Spirit becoming "flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone". For me (as a Catholic) that is exemplified best in the person Jesus The Christ. I also openly acknowledge that I find it too in all belief systems (including our beautiful - much loved and treasured - brothers and sisters The Atheists and Agnostics). The love of God is not confined to one group or tribe or religion. I love to acknowledge the redemption process in people by referring to the Enneagram. Can you please tell me - has much work been done on explaining how Christian redemption effects the Enneagram? I like to say to people "when you are accepting your redemption you act in these ways and when you refuse (or simply cannot accept) your redemption you act in these other ways. I find using the "redeemed" language far more empowering and educational for people than "integration and dis-integration". Although when some understandably find redemptive language too "churchy" integration and disintegration work just fine (as truth is truth). I also love to tell people that my insights and understanding are simply observations of what people already are. I don't have to teach people anything new about themselves for they are already being themselves. The only new teaching or revelation is encouraging people to observe and reflect on their own redemption. That is - that everyone is in the process of being sanctified or redeemed in ways they can easily accept or reject. Pointing out people's specific strengths and their particular subjective annoyances has won many people over to acceptance of the wisdom offered in Enneagram. Once that intimate relating has been done it serves as a foundation, or a conduit, or a doorway to further personal growth (especially when facing up to our unredeemed shadowy beliefs and habits). Dr Tom, has there been any work done in combining, or parallel teaching, of The Motivational Gifts (or the members of the Body of Christ) and Enneagram types? Do you have anything to say about this? I often wonder if the great Apologist and meek Evangelist St Paul learned of Enneagram from his understanding of the Mystery Religions and applied the truths found there to the emerging Church, Then ascribing the Body of Christ to having many parts with their specific gifting and blessing and teaching that "one part should not say to the other parts "I am more significant than you". Let me end by saying I can clearly see that you too are a work in progress. The Enneagram is an emerging evolving belief system and we are all some what stumbling through it. As St Paul so brilliantly observed "we see in part. We know in part. We prophesy in part". And "we see through a glass darkly". The greatest aspect, or personal ministry, of the Enneagram is telling people "I too am a work in progress. I too am struggling to accept my divine redemption. Please let us support one another in our strengths and weaknesses". Bless you Dr Tom. May you find in life that you are like the patriarch Joseph - that whatever "the world meant for evil God meant for good". Cheers mate - alex in Perth Western Australia

[@Bunnybry]

Wow. This is so incredibly insightful. I am a four and my partner is an 8. You are so spot on with your descriptions.

[@tomas5650]

What you say about going to 5 really sounds more like 8w7. 8w9 under stress would behave very differently, ie isolate deliberately and avoid people because the world is dangerous. Maybe even lean on escapism through books, entertainment, pornography, addiction, etc. It's becoming a hermit because one can't stand (the inevitable pain/futility from interacting with) people.

[@twlahue]

Thanks for that insight.

[@gracepurcell7825]

I think when 8's go to their stress-point (low 5) it will look/feel differently depending on if your wing is 7 or 9 but make no mistake they both go to a low-5 but just react/express differently depending on if they have 7 wing in them or the peacekeeper 9 wing.

[@baaf777]

That resonated Dr LaHue, thanks!

[@melissawitham6847]

@@kate5185 omg the wanting to get rid of things. I do that and never understood why it happened when i was always stressed and frustrated with others 🙈

[@jennareeder8703]

Hmm, I thought 8s were moral crusaders. Your example of stealing your sisters clothes didn’t resonate with me, as you’re right. I don’t want people stealing my stuff. However, as a moral crusader it would be very hypocritical if I were to go take others things. This type of thing is super black and white for me, which I felt is core to an 8.

[@lesliecarrillo8176]

I felt the same way about that example LOL. I was thinking I would never grab something without the owners approval- including my husband. Took me a minute to let that go 😆

[@TobyzTurtles]

Agrees not accurate at all whatsoever. As an 8 i wouldn't do that to someone as I wouldn't want it to be done to me.

[@higirlhigh]

Same here with the example. Lol

[@jern2216]

Thats a 1s aproach tbh

[@katiedipierro4446]

I agree I wouldn’t do it unless I was unhealthy and then I would do it feel guilt and say fuck it anyway

[@naridur123]

So helpful! I have been in 5 mode for so long.... Even thought I was a 5 till I heard your daughter talk about 8. Thanks!!!

[@tq230]

This is so awesome to come across I was looking up information on a few things people have been recently asking if I have ever gotten diagnosed with. Idk if it was rude but it really opened my eyes and I was thankful more than anything thinking I had extreme OCD and just always on the go couldn’t help myself than bad days wouldn’t want to even get out of bed or see anyone at all. The test says I am a 8 but I tend to always borrow from 7 and 9. I never thought to talk to a doctor about it as I was so used to just being how I am. It wasn’t until I started a new job after 13 years at one place with people who knew me how I was and my up and downs silent days and super happy ones. This new job I have been asked 4x in a matter of almost 2 months of being there. I am now researching the brain types and I hope to be able to finally get the correct help to live and feel normal life and not always feel how I do now as it is a blessing but a curse. Thank you! It is nice to see so many others commenting knowing I am not alone I felt so alone.

[@jasondean21]

Best enne 8 video on highs and lows!

[@CCMay_22]

For so many years I was an unhealthy 8. A fortress! Because of my addiction of 25 years. Isolation. Solitude. I’m just now learning 5 weeks into my sobriety that I love my healthy 8!! I love visiting the outhouse from time to time but I will not live or spend the night there anymore Thank you so much for this godly insight. I’m so excited to see what’s next for me and those I love ❤️

[@dcamp258]

This a true representation for an 8 myself. This was almost scary accurate.

[@aseeladnan1492]

wow im grateful for this video thank you

[@mermaidbaby2]

Thanks for the very detailed info of the Enneagram. It’s so informative and help us to understand ourselves and others. 😍👍🏻🌈🌈 you re awesome 👏

[@jeannebirnkrant]

OMG. I’d like to have a “Pause” button like the Staples brand “that was easy” button! As an 8, I can attest to how hard it is to pause…. Our natural drive is green light or red light. We need the yellow light! Thank you Tom Lahue for bringing kindness to this and all your type discussions.🙏🙏

[@natedawgnug]

This video is amazing. I am a 9, married to an 8. At work, I also have an 8 as a boss, and an 8 reporting to me (among a 6, 5, 3, and 2). So this helps a lot to understand and love 8s even more. Blessings!

[@garrettdavis1646]

How in the world have 6 people not liked this video enough to actually dislike? These are awesome. You capture each type very well in my opinion. Perhaps others are not as ready to address their outhouse behavior.

[@maryosgood9933]

I totally loved this. My son is an 8 and I'm a 5. You hit the nail on the head.

[@ToBeALegacy]

I'm fairly certain my boss is an 8, in a healthy way. But I have seen the unhealthy side exactly as you describe. Spot on about the fort/betrayals, the directness, rule breaking, loudness etc. Even the withdrawal. But they will go to the ends of the earth for you if you're in their fortress, just as you describe. I'm a 5 but sometimes actually feel myself stepping into 8-ness at times. We actually make a great team, as strange as it sounds. It just works somehow.

[@hackinglife9710]

So incredibly informative. Thanks pastor 😁

[@twlahue]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@shaneaverystarr]

I think my seven cabin is the fun zone of the house where we got the TV and kitchen and couches for fun and relaxation, My two house is the connecting house in back that I go to once in a while like for payday and parties to celebrate, The five house is my study room with all my books and notes where I end up spending probably most of my time (for better or worse), and the nine? My nine cabin is empty. It's like the old rusty shack in the corner of the backyard that has spiders and cobwebs in it that no one ever goes in.

[@deepmejor3449]

100% true. Wow i am even shocked!

[@rufatabasov176]

Great insights and content. Keep it up!

[@DairyAries]

Hey imma 8 i really need some help mentally i really related to this im currently 15 and ive been through so much childhood trauma to much to explain but more then most adults been through i know and im currently in type 5 i used to be so exited not worried leader now im to calm stuck peaceful/stressed and my adopted parents always ask me how u doin etc i always respond with “i dont know” i just feel like im to deep and stuck in 5 and i wanna get out so bad but im so stressed and everything like im literally trying not to cry typing this ( id appreciate any help or tips) pls help me

[@roelvanwijk9908]

This really helped me trusting myself as an eight! Graditud and love ;-)

[@ariantejano2518]

Hahaha how endearing that of all growth paths, 8s' is about being vulnerable, soft and be more loving.

[@debanizgames0013]

Beautiful video, thanks for your advices ;)

[@marieschmidt9416]

Great info presented in an interesting manner.

[@melissawitham6847]

This is so me. I was forced to be a wallflower by others my whole life who would rather read or listen to music than play with the other kids, and was very angsty (but not hateful-more like they weren’t worth my time and why bother after I was picked on for no reason) toward my classmates who misunderstood me, but they wouldn’t recognize me today-an extrovert circus acrobat who loves being onstage and gets along with most people as long as I’m not being micromanaged.

[@RTS5010]

Thanks! I am an 8 parenting an 8!

[@rocknjocie]

Im an 8w7. If I feel like my emotionally self is in danger I will blunty say "Bye" because I don't want the other person to decide on the outcome of the argument

[@claudiadinca3846]

"Pause " - my worse anemy. WHEN someone tales me to take a pause..i hate him. I really feel i havent do anything. I thout i was a 7. Now i am convinced i am an 8. The only type i refuse to be. The thing is that i never see in me that power. But i know the game whit giving and taking back the power. That's my secret wapon.🙄🙄

[@terribushnell1145]

OMG I laughed so much about how you described me - we are so harsh on others as well as ourselves. I am the picture of an 8 lol. Thank you

[@lilianlopezconde8691]

How can you help a partner 8 when they are needing help but won't admit it to themselves in an attempt to prove they don't need anybody ?

[@debanizgames0013]

My personality pattern is 8w9, so I think I can resonate. Everything will depend on how much trust that person has in you and that he sees your intentions. Are you willing to listen without judging, without giving advice, without saying "you should"? If you are willing not to "impose" your will on that person, then you will have to meet with that person 8, in a place where only the two of you are alone, and ask from your honesty how he is, and just listen, keep asking how It has gone, how is life going, etc. Just asking, without giving your opinion, until its gets to a point where he/she asks for your opinion on it, that's where he is showing his vulnerability and that is where he/she will REALLY heed your advice, because of the way you took the time to listen to him, in the same way he will value your interest in his life, and believe me that with that detail you will have a person who will take you into account when you really need help ... in a very "8" way of saying it, "just shut the fuck up and listen to what he has to say" (hahaha don't take it personal it's just a rude way of saying listen to him), even if what he says may seem stupid or exaggerated or inmature or etc, remember 8's are like "vulnerable children in adult bodies"

[@dacksonflux]

My immediate reaction to people touching my things is fury. I do however desire to not be a massive hypocrite so I try to be as forgiving as possible with people I like touching my things. If I don't like you, don't touch any of my stuff with anything you don't wanna lose. :)

[@Bipolar_Diary_]

8s, how do you cope with situations when your close person smokes a lot and eats only sweets? Until I knew about enneagram I was very directed because I can't sleep when I know that my loved one is spoiling their life and I literally couldn't relax until I "helped" them. Okay, telling them to do 30 berpis everytime I smelled Sigarettes was too much (too 8), I got it, I can learn on my mistakes. But how to fall asleep knowing that everything is bad? Sometimes I want to isolate myself somewhere in a desert to rest from people's pain and problems and victim behavior, but I couldn't get a vacation so I feel very anxious right now and I need an advice how to forget about problems which can't be solved right now?

[@vampireracheal8131]

everything used to feel like a threat 😰

[@williamhad]

If I'm swearing, I'm usually in pain and swearing helps alleviate that pain.

[@margaretjudice8944]

Good information! Thank you for sharing.

[@meggs.3966]

8w7 I spend a lot of time in my outhouse. Lol! F#@! And he's right, when I'm in there, no one wants to play with me.

[@chris-mariedegenaar3556]

Life changing

[@elora8769]

The accuracy when talking about taking stuff from people and expecting them to have to stand up for themselves otherwise tough luck! 😂

[@jwest9155]

Excitedly waiting for “relationships for type 8”

[@guilhermeairbender]

As an 8, I really understand what you said at 16:00. You gotta show that they can't do it again. Thank God my girlfriend is a 9. She's my paper. I can bend her in the way I need. I can dance any song with her. She's really flexible. I think a 9 is the best person to have in a relationship to an 8.

[@ronjaraubert462]

I had to laugh, because I feel-apart from a 3- 9s can be the most annoying! How do you cope with the phlegma? It drives me insane!

[@runningthor1999]

I’m the only real 8 here, suck it all y’all! 😂 start something

[@katiedipierro4446]

Well done!

[@sweettrippy]

I’m a 5 dating an 8, and was really excited about hearing that my top of the hill is 8, now I feel bad that I may be bringing my partner down:(

[@kaymyat]

“Everybody else’s point of view is incompetent, stupid.” It’s true though!😁. A true 8 here. I’m trying....

[@kiplambel4052]

There have been times that I've stayed "in the outhouse" for several years at a time.

[@oObabyxgurl]

Can a 8w7 SP in a bad space or underdeveloped come off as arrogant, be boastful, selfish, self-centered, really only have time for who can benefit them? Don't associate with others who they feel are beneath them or not in a position of power or who are highly-esteemed by others that can be used as an instrument to get them even further above others?

[@LetishaMalakootiTV]

This is spot on

[@vampireracheal8131]

forreal I be so domering when I’m treated I would try to break out and get in my power. I would not allow any kind of power other person can have over me so I overpower this person

[@karolinaklimova3795]

As a 9w1 (also INFP) daughter of an 8 (ISTJ), being inside of the fort isn't that easy either. I always feel like my mom would do anything for me and at the same time it's like I don't even belong to this fort....

[@Brya-zh6xf]

"Dont listen to this thinking wow how terrible we are!" Me actually thinking proudly " I know I am fuc*ing powerful"

[@kingawalorska3722]

Amazing 🎉thank you ❤

[@twlahue]

You're welcome 😊

[@lestg77]

Hi. My name is Tonya. I’m on my friend’s account. She’s a 4, and I’m an 8. She urged me to watch your videos. I was very impressed with your take on 4s, but was a little taken aback with some things you said around the 14:15-25:16 mark. You said that 8s believe that managing people is “non-sense.” Many great leaders are/were 8s. As an 8, myself, I am at my best as a leader. You also mentioned that 8s are more concerned with taking revenge when others “trespass” against us as individuals. That could not be more inaccurate. Everything I’ve read has taught me that 8s are interested in protecting those who can’t (not won’t) protect themselves. This fits my personality 100%. Am I misunderstanding your comments? I’m eager to hear your point of view on this matter. Thanks.

[@lamberteaton945]

Leslie Gates regarding the leadership comment. I believe he is saying “non-sense” because 8s often step up into leadership positions when there is a need. They feel like they can fulfill that need and do it well. But at the same time, they also feel that it’s “non-sense” that they even need to step up to that position to guide people who should know how to guide themselves

[@ravre1037]

As an 8, I think he meant that our urge for “revenge” when crossed is when we are at our worst and unhealthiest,, especially with our internal “an eye for an eye” dont fuck with me attitude. protecting others is 8s at their best but personally, I can relate to both sides.

[@helenbel9348]

Wow nice video thanks for sharing.

[@mandyinseattle]

Did your daughter take a test, or you just can tell shes an 8? You do know us. Here's an easy example of vengence taken. Somebody cut in line in front of me at the store recently and rather than just letting it go and going with the flow, I felt immediately compelled to speak up and say Excuse me, there's a line here, and he said, oh sorry and then I felt a little bad, but somebody had to speak up ha

[@twlahue]

She has taken several tests...but she knew she was an 8 before the tests.

[@drowningblonde]

Sometimes i feel the need to speak up but my 9 wing wont let me haha

[@andrewwabik5125]

@@drowningblonde "You" won't let you. Don't blame an abstraction.

[@tsnevtbl]

@@andrewwabik5125 lol I mean true, but what a beautiful example for an 8

[@joanna-dominika]

Is it possible that women 8 feels her partly an male because she is so independet en strong?

[@charmzee8749]

8w9 here. If they talk , they get anything 100% guarantee . If they don't, well i'm gonna be sorry for it after they talk.

[@vampireracheal8131]

I become very generous when I’m healthy and needing to help and give 😹

[@sofianewton6927]

Wow! Big take away: 1. "Pause" and 2. "You don't live in the outhouse." SNAP!!

[@themoonbleu627]

thank you !!

[@twlahue]

Welcome!

[@tatiannamiv]

Can a soft side of an 8 be a 4 instead of a 2?

[@emilybaker6193]

4s and 2s are similar...

[@Enfpmom]

Thought I was a 3 because I was the hero child in a dysfunctional family first born this is who I truly am so sad we don’t even know ourselves

[@twlahue]

Right

[@daniellepeters5557]

I tested as an 8 but this doesn’t sound like me.

[@mayaperry3090]

I loveeeee your videos!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️

[@ry2456]

Ha! I am a 6 and you have gained more of my trust by using the word magazines instead of clips.👍🤨

[@ufailowell]

Can you do a series on enneagram types at a bar?

[@blindeyeshater]

Ha!

[@zidesce7961]

8s don't just disintegrate one way. They disintegrate to 5 and 2, while also integrating to both 5 and 2. This is a misconception most all of the main enneagram teachers have cleared up lately.

[@debanizgames0013]

that's true :) sometimes I join the 5 to meditate on my actions, if I hurt someone with my words or my actions. Spending all your time alone thinking about how to get revenge on someone is exhausting and there are better things to spend your time alone than giving a lot of importance to someone who does not care about you: | . Likewise, one can de-centralize to 2 as when one tries to be kind to people and many even "friends" treat you badly or abuse you, confusing kindness with worthless, and that happens when one disintegrates at 2, begging for someone else's love for lacking of self-love. contrary to the integration to the 2 that would be to offer your own love to the neighbor

[@manuelsanchezdeinigo3959]

Just found out I am a 8 Really helps make sense of my personality and events in my life ! YHWH bless y Shalom B’shem Yeshua HaMoshiach Elohenu ⚔️🕎⚔️

[@RegineBrady]

Thanks!!!!

[@ladymuck2]

Surely how the 8 acts depends on how they were brought up. If we are taught to respect other people’s property and rights in childhood, that should be normal. unfortunately as an old person, I see an upcoming society of entitled wimpy snowflakes, or is that me being a harsh 8?

[@LelaBria]

A Few things. First of all swearing , Communication intensity is why we tend to lean into it. As we do all intense things lol. We also are often loud or assertive in tone (and usually unaware ) it’s just intensity. Not this intended assault. I have a problem with the interpretation of bad intent into the 8, from people who view or experience 8s a certain way. This isn’t to excuse us from learning how we’re perceived and why, but it’s endlessly annoying that people project their feelings into our intent all day every day lol. No one is INTENDING to assault you all with our every word and move … even just existing silently we’re apparently assaulting everyone 😂 so. Ok we should be open to learn and understand how blind we are naturally to our impact wxternally on others absolutely. But I disagree with this idea that we’re basically hypocrites 😂 I genuinely think we’re usually just ENTIRELY UNAWARE until we learn a thing. And they’re usually things (esp North American Caucasian culture) assumed to be known by all, therefore bad intent gets laced in. Ur example of the 8s taking peoples shit that’s not theirs for example. That was me as a child. Until I realized oh ya duh of course I’m being intrusive and not considering where their boundaries are. Once we realize we generally stop is my experience lol with well myself but my pack of us 🤣. Like the idea of purposely going into someone’s closet to take their shirt as if it’s mine bec they’re not there is absolutely not a thing an adult 8 is gonna do 😂bro. No. But I feel like I also get what ur getting at. So help me out here but is this what ur trying to say : How people experience us is as if we would willingly and knowingly do exactly that. Bec we are constantly unaware and unintentionally stomping on all these little or larger boundaries or others all day in every way 😂 so they feel that is again, our intent and we must clearly be aware of what we’re doing. I think a better example (if I’m understanding you right) would be something like socially we “take up space” and are often unaware that others will not be 8s. 😂we I think until we learn otherwise , ASSUME a bit of our own nature into others. Well if someone has a problem with my taking lead they should say so. And I would listen. (Lol depend but in theory we would ). and we assume others not being forward and direct just means there is nothing being not communicated. We literally don’t realize that just not being afraid to speak up for example is enough to scare many people out of speaking up at all. So we can learn to purposely put energy into learning what we can do little things to make it more comfortable for diff kinds of people to exist as equals even if they’re afraid lol. Or to ya know not accidentally scare everybody even if it is funny a bit lol 😂. But I don’t agree that most 8s with moderate health and adult are going to purposely ignore others boundaries. I think most of us would actually weirdly respect them tbh. I also disagree with you that we’re not really open to open honest dialogue. I think we respect and want exactly that. We’re a lot I get that now 😂but , that being a lot and intensity existing in our reactions to dialogue being opened with us , isn’t indication that we don’t want the dialogue. We PLAY FIGHT literally as a love language 😂we’re not intending to discourage honest dialogue or calling us out or to see our own hard truths , bec we react with intensity. We just ooze intensity most of the time but it’s not INTENDED to discourage … anywhere we haven’t learned , we’re probably projecting some level of 8ness washed over all others until we eventually realize how intense we actually are for most others. Ijs! Oh also like caps lock when typing 😂 we do that a lot as well. (Going back to swearing). We just exist via intensity not assault pls stop with that nonsense 😂there is a difference. What others often interpret as intentional harm or assault or whatever , is actually us giving what we respect and would want given to us. SERIOSULY. People jsut cannot believe that we prefer , exactly what we give out lol. (Assuming some moderate level of health here of course , an u healthy 8 is a different story potentially ) Oh and I also disagree that we are hypocrites about rules and laws. I think what we do is purposely ask people who are obsessed with and trying to enforce that shit mindlessly on everyone else even when it makes no sense , those kind of people we are literally going to go question and challenge and point out everywhere they don’t follow the very rules they try to force on everyone. But we care about justice. A lot. An fairness in some ways a lot too. Fairness and equality are the same thing , enforcing sameness isn’t fairness it’s just equality. 8s are more about autonomy and the right to each have that tbh. 8s are more about equity not equality if that makes sense we will try to balance things where we see imbalance 😂but ya we don’t gaf about like enforcing blanket standards on a giant system with zero regard for context and individuals. Anywho just some thoughts. Love ur vie does and channel 😊

[@davedemaray2870]

Why can't I choose in advance? I am able only to react. I am trying, but this hippy dippy bullshit is hard.

[@thechelseapeck]

“How to conquer the world in their basement.” 😆

[@NeishaMUA]

8+5 will i b a loner 4life?

[@southernchelz]

2 in ...don't really know why people are intimidated!

[@vampireracheal8131]

I have 4 with 8 in my tritype I’m an actual terminator lmfaoo. Ion think I had to grow up fast tho

[@majesticwonder]

H.O.L.Y SH** . this is me to a terrifying 😳 tee ! 😳 Speech 💬 less ! Thank You!♡ New Subscriber

[@twlahue]

Welcome

[@RegineBrady]

I’m an 8 and reached out 😂😂😂

[@Lovelylovee]

I thought with were empaths