Ukrainian Missile Sinks Russian Warship | Will Elon Musk Buy Twitter To Silence Critics?

Ukraine appears to have sunk the same Russian warship that threatened soldiers on Snake Island at the beginning of Putin's invasion, and Stephen isn't buying Elon Musk's claim that he wants to buy Twitter to support the ideal of free speech. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@charlesmartin1121]

Sweden and Finland joining NATO? Well this really worked out well Vladimir.

[@Toywins]

He really threatened them both, that's so crazy!

[@charlesmartin1121]

@@Toywins Thats how that angry munchkin rolls.

[@lilesmw]

They don’t have much to offer nato. It’s symbolic

[@michaelhodges250]

the only thing they have to offer is more ground for our troops to be stationed on and to enlarge the nato border with Russia

[@QuadZillaGodZillasbrother]

It would be a huge accomplishment for the Biden administration

[@jackzuhosky621]

Imagine having your Flagship sunk by a country without a navy... Emotional damage!!!

[@jsully8076]

"Eeemooowtional daaamage!" ✌️❤️

[@nikolasgray390]

they do have a nave though😭😂

[@jsully8076]

@@nikolasgray390 What's a nave?

[@Surge1077]

It's sorta Three Stooges that they (Russian forces) are being outwitted by the underdog. Serves Putin right.

[@Ginric99]

I mean America was beaten in Vietnam by a bunch of farmers, an invading nation that does not have the support of the people never succeeds

[@davydovua]

What's important, it's not just "a warship" that was destroyed. That's the flagship of the Russian Black Sea fleet and the only cruiser currently in the sea, so by far the most important strategic naval asset in the area. In addition, its sinking has a huge symbolic meaning, it's the same warship that threatened Ukrainian border guards on Snake Island on the first day of the invasion and it bears the name of the Russian capital Moscow (Moskva), so destroying it gave a huuuge morale boost to Ukrainians.

[@daslynnter9841]

Certainly is the only cruiser "in" the sea

[@LoPhatKao]

if its the snake island ship, it can certainly go f itself now :D

[@havable]

Ukraine sank Moscow!

[@Sun-Tzu-]

Yes, that really important warship that was decommissioned in 1990 and recommissioned again in the 2000's who served as the flagship of the smallest detachment of the Russian Navy, serving in a land war against a country without a Navy. Not only that, there are plenty of ships that can, and probably already have replaced it. It's nothing but symbolic. Speaking of symbolic, nobody seemed to talk about the Snake Island guys being captured and not martyred. Ukrainians are gonna need that moral boost since over 1000 Ukrainian marines surrendered in Mariupol.

[@kenbarker4473]

@Sun Tzu I don't think this deserves a response but what the hell I'll respond just in case you're a real person. Russia owns only one aircraft carrier that barely operates and has to be repaired constantly because it runs on black tar still. I they don't have plenty of ships, the Russian military can barely feed itself

[@BogeyTheBear]

The Russians weren't lying when they say the warship was damaged from detonating ammunition... ...it just happened to be Ukranian ammo.

[@eerohughes]

Impossible the Powerful Russian Navy are immune to any fault.

[@davidbryden7904]

And it's not just any ol' cruiser, it's the FLAG SHIP!! That's a 3 pointer, baby!

[@connorirons4542]

Not any old flagship, its the one that got told to go f*** itself. Thats an additional +2.

[@johnsmithe4656]

Not only any old flag ship. It was named after the frikkin capitol of Russia itself. Moscow = Moskva. How's that for a portent?

[@alex35agm]

And as it was going down the flag they were waving was HELP!

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@philipkoene5345]

It's not only that - as a consequence, the Russians moved all other ships at least 20 nautical miles further out. This sinking has basically taken the black sea fleet out of the war.

[@toadjiang7626]

Putin will be like "My flagship has not sunk! It's just now on a 'special underwater operation'!"

[@stevejohnson2321]

It sank moored in Sebastopol harbor. Putty says sank in "rough seas"...🤔

[@redstonecasey4713]

It's tactically infiltrating the silty bottom.

[@WoWhistorian]

"As a result of its heroic performance in the Special Military Operation in Ukraine, Moskva the Battleship has been promoted to the prestigious rank of Sumbarine."

[@machintelligence]

@@WoWhistorian It is to be renamed "Snake Island Memorial Reef."

[@TheDarkness1]

Is sunken potato, in salt water. It will be mashed.

[@artembentsionov]

Russia: “Hey, Finland, you better not join NATO, or we’ll invade, just like Comrade Stalin did in the glorious year of 1939.” Finland: “Yeah, you better read an un-redacted textbook on how well that went for you guys.”

[@TB-zf7we]

Yes Vlad, if you send your troops they will join the 200,000 that are already buried in our land...LOL

[@j.f.fisher5318]

Un-redacted. Made me laugh.

[@Londronable]

While Finland doesn't want to be invaded and they obviously won't a small, insane part of me wants Russia to try it just to see what would happen. Nato equiped(but not yet part) and organized soldiers against Russia would be fun.

[@artembentsionov]

@@j.f.fisher5318 considering their current tendency to engage in historical revisionism…

[@larsgutsein3910]

They might be hard to come by. Russian shops do not have them and amazon does not deliver.

[@BlueHooloovoo]

I love that rather than admit Ukraine sunk their warship Russia is trying to say that it sunk because of the incompetence of its crew.

[@irondragonmaiden]

It's kind of worse and more insulting...

[@j.f.fisher5318]

Italy thanks Russia for having stolen their former "meme military" status.

[@ianrastall]

NATO was like, "Why simply Finnish when we can Sweden the deal?"

[@MrFancyFingers]

Warning: Dad mode engaged

[@Pitbabe2Obsession]

🤣🤣

[@bluekitty3731]

Puns! Why did it have to be puns!

[@samtunji]

Smooth

[@firthm2]

Brilliant

[@ernoristola9346]

As a Finnish man myself, I laugh at russki threats. Their army is a joke, and their leader can jump like a temper tantrum toddler as much as he wants.

[@ernoristola9346]

@@cmelinoe yep. I was totally surprised by their moronic invasion. What grinds my gears is if they finally overpower Mariupol, they screech about it like it was a huge military victory. Forgetting to mention they were bogged down for over 1.5 months. Anyway, I have started to gather supplies to comfortably live for a two weeks to a month if they do something and we get our water and power cut off. Also, we are most likely joining to NATO, so all the Russians can do is have a temper tantrum on their side of the border. They whine that everybody is against them like a narcissistic psychopathic neighbor on a acid trip that you know but want to keep your distance from.

[@elenachristian9860]

@@cmelinoe Oh I am so sorry about Mauripol. Praying for you.

[@Rockstarnic88]

Unfortunately @Erno Ristola there threats are still coming from the nation with biggest stockpile of nuclear weapons don’t believe the western media either they are a frightening defence force

[@ihorkarpiuk4102]

Good to see a clearly thinking guy, respect from Ukraine

[@MausMasher54]

Yes, they are proving their incompetence hourly....

[@marydonohoe8200]

And now we learn that the flagship Moskva was actually built in Ukraine, as well as being the one that threatened Ukrainians on Snake Island and was given the bird for its troubles. Too sweet.

[@cultureal9544]

I think Snake Island destroyed that ship!

[@chrisoddy8744]

Just for reference, if the Moskva was sunk by enemy action, it would become the largest warship sunk to enemy action since World War 2 - the 12,500 ton displacement cruiser beating out vessels like the 10,000 ton ARA General Belgrano, among others. So yeah, kind of a big deal for both sides.

[@ShaithMaster]

Big deals for very different reasons. One a triumph, the other an embarrassment.

[@paulcoy9060]

Even better, Ukraine only has 15 Navy ships.

[@Opus313]

Now the flagship of the Russian Navy... ...is potato.

[@rideon6140]

Potatoes float.

[@dont-want-no-wrench]

that snake island soldier has greater powers than he may realize.

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@tony_tuono]

That was exactly THAT ship, by the way

[@franko1904]

Just as Zelensky told Trump to "Go F** Yourself!" when Trump tried to do a quid-pro-quo by withholding congress approved US military aid unless Zelensky fabricates fake news against Biden. So the Moskva has sunk, Trump next!

[@Bluewhalebig]

This gets even better. Zelensky released a picture of himself possing with a newly minted postage stamp that depicts a Ukrainian soldier (guy from Snake Island) giving that specific ship the middle finger, only hours before it was sunk. The caption under the photo finishes with something like: "Russian ships always go in the same direction". Perfect, just perfect, lol.

[@franko1904]

@@Bluewhalebig They should release a stamp of Zelensky telling Trump to "Go F*** Yourself" when Trump was holding back US military aid for a quid pro quo.

[@dollbeastcybervoodoo8862]

Love Your Show. Glory to Ukrainian Heroes!

[@senseifuri6953]

The warship Moskva has not sunk it has simply been reclassified as a new type of submarine and is on a special underwater mission!!

[@TheRamsfan43]

The ship is on special operation to denazify the bottom of the black sea.

[@jenniferkonstant5920]

Nice

[@marshamariner7897]

Alexander Phillips...u win the 🌹🌹💖🦋 for that 😅🤣😂🇺🇦🇺🇸👀

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@Surge1077]

Black sea bass are bottom-dwelling fish that are known anti-Russian Nutzi sympathizers. Putin's had it in for them for some time now. 😆

[@gretebremseth1622]

@@resikchanel843 Go away bot!

[@ultorianaugust8368]

As a Ukrainian I have to explain the comedy of situation. Our military didn't intend to sink the ship, cause it is capable (as we thought) of defending itself at least from 8 missiles at the same time. Moskva just approached closer to our shore and we wanted to warn it that we will put it in danger if it gets any closer, so 2 Neptuns were fired. Imagine our reaction when a warning shot sank it down)

[@derekd1510]

If the West should take anything from this Russian conflict with Ukraine it's "Don't believe the hype." At this point I'm beginning to wonder if their nukes really even work. I mean when was the last time they even tested one? Maybe they have all gone stale like old borodino.

[@christophertownsend3820]

Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the Heroes!

[@theresamcdonald5709]

Keep it up Ukraine soooo many here in US cheering you on and sending funds for humanitarian needs!!!!!

[@vesma25]

That is just brilliant! Slava Ukraini!

[@sophiabright8371]

Too bad. It would be nice if Ukraine had use of the warship but NOTHING can symbolize the uselessness of war than this mistake. Thank you for telling us this crazy twist.

[@benjerman4438]

If the ship sank because of "on board fire" and nothing else, why did Russia move the rest of its fleet further out to sea? Strange...

[@Blasted2Oblivion]

In fairness to Russia, I don't doubt that the ship caught fire. Being struck by a missile can do that.

[@nicholasschoonbeck6866]

Its amazing that Russia thinks they should be allowed to dictate what other countries do.

[@rachelgarber1423]

Ikr what a joke

[@tudalu]

It's Biden's job. Right after he'll figure out who's hand to shake.

[@julie804]

That describes republicans too.

[@Richard-ug4el]

It's really nice to see Putin achieve a whole bunch of things he really doesn't want, and almost nothing that he would want. I'm feeling schadenfreude.

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2HXc5RqoKl7rMk

[@alfonsomena9349]

He a commie he is used to it

[@tysargent9647]

"Schadenfreude... What is that? Some kind of Nazi word?" "It's German for 'happiness at the misfortune of others'." "'Happiness at the misfortune of others'... That _is_ German!" Natalie Venetia Belcon and Rick Lyon, 2003

[@JackXombi]

That was the Snake Island ship. "Russian Flagship , Go Fuck Yourself".

[@leenacw6844]

Perfectenschlag

[@greenredblue]

The funniest headline I saw today: "Russia insists fire, not missiles, damaged warship: unrelatedly, Russia moves ships farther from shore"

[@PrototypeSpaceMonkey]

So the Russians are still insisting it really did "go f***" itself?

[@Mondfischli]

... flying sparks I guess 🤔

[@Blasted2Oblivion]

In fairness to Russia, I don't doubt that the ship caught fire. Being struck by a missile can do that.

[@nickmon6497]

According to them, it was accidental fire on board. However, in the next sentence, they promised to retaliate.

[@maudbrewster9413]

Both could be. Russian soldiers are low in morale and Russians grow up with a completely different mindset when it comes to taking risks. Could very well be that they did a BBQ on deck that spiraled out of control. I am speaking of experience here. :D I actually love the Russian people and I am sad that they get so exploited by a few idiots!

[@artembentsionov]

Fun fact: That ship was originally built in Mykolaiv, which is in modern-day Ukraine. So Ukrainians built it, and (possibly) Ukrainians sunk it

[@valinorean4816]

"possibly"? well the "alternative" is then it spontaneously combusted and sunk?!

[@artembentsionov]

@@valinorean4816 the alternative is that the Russian Navy is a mess, and their sailors often don’t bother with safety precautions. In fact, Zelensky’s advisor pretty much said it’s probably that

[@rommierulez]

Another fun fact: There is still one Slava-class cruiser left in the Black Sea. It's name is Ukraine and resides unfinished in Mykolaiv.

[@valinorean4816]

@@artembentsionov "In fact, Zelensky’s advisor pretty much said it’s probably that" - link? I thought Ukes say they killed it, namely first the ship's radar with a Bayraktar, and then the blinded ship with 2 Neptunes?

[@artembentsionov]

@@valinorean4816 this is one interview (in Russian): kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZpXdinl8dsinaq8 (around 7:47). There might be another one, but I can’t find it right now: saw it on my wife’s iPad, so I don’t have it in my watch history

[@davidarmillie4226]

Russia threatening Sweden and Finland is all the more reason they should join NATO! I welcome both countries and Ukraine.

[@daleyue]

The ship surely did not sink. It just evolved into a "special tactical submarine".

[@elizabethfrance3237]

Clever. 👍

[@dylanho8608]

Russian ministry of propaganda has place for you.

[@Toywins]

😂😂😂

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@eerohughes]

And the entire crew is totally fine in fact they rapidly adapted to the new underwater environment and grew gills and developed super powers.

[@zector0]

Russia be like: "We now have the world's largest submarine class warship in the black sea."

[@smokinlouie9885]

In search of Bikini Bottom POTATO!!!!

[@queenofidlis]

Haaaaahahahaaaaaahaha!

[@kalmanbabits3016]

MAYBE PUTIN IS RETHINKING THE BLACK SEA INTO OCEANFRONT AND AT THE SAME TIME REMOVE ALL LOW LIFE AND TUNNELS AND MINES AND NUCLEAR REACTORS THAT ARE JUST AS SAFE TO GO SWIMMING AS THE CLIFFS OF DOVER EVEN WILL BE A UNDER WATER LANDSCAPE PUTIN HAS THE SUBMARINE TO GO VISIT FRIENDLY LIKE WONDER HOW HE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR BECAUSE YOU CANT REMEMBER, BACK TO THAT AGAIN?

[@AlexCruz-lu5hd]

"Russia be like"? That's late 80's early 90's talk. It wasn't funny then & It's not funny now

[@Dream0Asylum]

@@AlexCruz-lu5hd Everybody, be cool, the comedy police are here and they're laying down the law. Act casual, and if you've got any Dane Cook on you, just say you're holding for a friend.

[@rocketPower111]

Glory to Ukrainian Heroes!!!🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦

[@Monika-mh2je]

So disturbing to watch how Elon Musk became the :I want everything my way , because I could buy it.😡

[@CloudsGirl7]

Petty sure he was always that twerp. I say we eat 'im.

[@allendean9807]

So a Syrian refugee stopped a terrorist attack in NYC. Well done. This is what north america needs right now; stopping the hate, ending the fear, and coming together as a people. One people.

[@MrPhotodoc]

The GQP will think it's some sort of global conspiracy.

[@ahmed.abdelaleem]

well if the syrian was the one who made the terrorist attack, all liberals will get on their knees to defend on islam and shit on all the heros who sucrifice themselves to criticize islam and its terorist idiololgy

[@ianking9425]

And how appropriate that an immigrant from the middle east was installing a security camera...that by the way, the three that could've caught the guy, were the three; of 10,000, that weren't working that day....#anybodylivinghereisamerican!!!!

[@snarlajeen5901]

Yes to this! Yes yes yes!

[@TheDarkness1]

@@MrPhotodoc GQP just put out a press statement: Is baked potato.

[@vyleart4488]

It did not sink, it’s on a « special underwater operation ».

[@TheDarkness1]

Is potato, boiling in salt water.

[@martinavetter9932]

@ Vyle Art: Best comment ever! Thank you!!!👍👌♥️🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👍👍👌♥️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kreiner1]

Omg my God that has to be the best comment ever, to steal a line from Steal Magnolias, "Spoken like a true smart ass" 👏 I bow and congratulate you good Sir Vyle Art.

[@russellcampbell9198]

Good one. 👍

[@hubertsang7418]

It was turned into a submarine. Anya the spy, stole the plans from James Bond's Lotus ( the spy who loved me ) and Putin thought if a car can turn into a sub, why not a ship?

[@wyskass861]

We're starting to see that maybe Russia's only military strength was threats. They can't take one city (Kiev) with all their forces available, yet we somehow think that it would be a tough fight with all of NATO and USA?

[@danielgregory3295]

Then they would be "Putin on the nukes.."!

[@danjenkins8981]

To silence critics? Who are the ones silencing their critics at present time? Let’s not act like Twitter is protecting free speech and offering a platform for all. You people make me laugh. And not because you’re funny.

[@legoforbeginners6950]

There are two possibilities here. Either Ukraine sunk the warship, so good job them. That, or Russia is just so bad that Ukraine didn't even need to do anything.

[@TheDarkness1]

Or...they were playing a boardgame and the final blow was Ukraine guessing H17. Putin: Ugh, you sunk my battle ship.

[@terry_the_terrible]

Ukraine damaged the ship by shooting the ammunitions reserve. They exploded but the ship was still kinda sea worthy. The Russians towed it back for repairs but bad weather sank it definitely

[@whattwowhat]

Saw it go down on twitter. Ukraine called the missile hit several hours before Russia even tried to pass off that "caught fire" story.

[@paulwolstencroft4820]

Yeah it's completely weird that Russia thinks it's better to have sunk their own ship than Ukraine sinking it. Hey world we're really incompetent! What a bunch of idiots.

[@MonkeyJedi99]

@@XCodes Oh come on, it's not like the Russians have EVER had a naval encounter so disastrously bad... 1904-05 Russo - Japanese War! Japanese lose 19 ships, Russians lose 55 to sinking, and another 15 captured and recommissioned by the Japanese navy.

[@jackmorrison8269]

The new Swiss Army Knife is gonna have a potato peeler

[@willywhit]

Good one

[@karenrumney5210]

My fav quote from Beau of the Fifth Column "the Moskva is now living in a pineapple under the sea" 😂

[@mikeshaw9944]

As a former soldier, while I applaud Ukraine's resistance, I do not find joy in the death of any of these kids. Whether Ukraine or Russian. These are all someone's father, brother, son and daughter.

[@ajkalwaysneedsmoreinfo.576]

I salute you and the soldiers who died, thank you for your service.

[@peace-to-the-world]

Putin sent them

[@MonkeyJedi99]

I heard about the Moskva sinking on NPR earlier today. The Russians were, at that time, still playing the story that there was an accidental fire on board that caused munitions to explode. Yet this story does not jive with the fact that all of the other ships in that fleet/detachment immediately sailed south, away from the stricken ship and land. If a ship in your fleet is just accidentally on fire, you stick around to help firefighting or at least crew extrication. If a ship in your fleet has been struck by one or more missiles, you sail away from the source of the missile(s) as quickly as possible.

[@Snaakie83]

@@KingMinosxxvi it's sunk... Try the Sovjet' news ...even they're clear about it.

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@WestOfEarth]

@@KingMinosxxvi It sank dude. Russia has confirmed it. As it was being towed to port, a gale swept over that region of the Black Sea and the Moskva sank.

[@MultiLimpet]

@@KingMinosxxvi it is in secret russian below water port

[@puellamservumaddominum6180]

@@KingMinosxxvi it sank

[@aoteren]

Also, the ship that was sank was the exact same ship that received the message "Russian warship, go f**k yourself!". No joking, it really is (or rather, was) that very same ship.

[@magnuslundstedt2659]

The ship previously known as the Moskva is now known as "Snake island memorial reef"

[@CloudsGirl7]

"Go f**k yourself." Well, it did go down... just not on itself. 😆

[@michaels1679]

Now it has the holes for self penetration.....

[@peace-to-the-world]

@SophieSophs Everything has changed since my peaceful people got in a strikes from missiles...

[@vadymvv]

@@magnuslundstedt2659 the funny thing that it became a property of Ukraine since it sunk at Ukrainian shelf. Also we have a copy of this ship in Mykolayiv but without rockets and stuff.

[@terrynicholetti4090]

Thomas Edison's "Light boob".......the simultaneous height and depths of comedy.....bravo Stephen and team! And thanks once more for 12 minutes of levity about our most serious world and national issues. Love and blessings.

[@ianthehedgehog9327]

LESGOOOOOOOOO!!! UKRAINE YOU GOT THIS! -A message from a U.S citizen

[@GreySox]

"Not the neighbor we thought they were" means their military isn't as powerful or capable as we thought it was.

[@TheDarkness1]

Like a good neighbor, potato is there.

[@SvintBlvck]

Like a good neighbor, it's potato

[@Katzztar]

Well said. When this recent Russain - Ukraine conflict started, I was thinking Russia was the big bully picking on the little kid, but turns out the little kid is stronger than suspected and has hit the towering bully in "the gut", only to find out it was a little brat on stilts in a trench coat that just got knocked down.

[@marshamariner7897]

@@Katzztar the ENTIRE 🌎🌍 is seeing that Russia is NOT the big bad country as alwaz thought since 1945....nukes ..ya. But really....this makes putPIG 🥜🔩🥜🔩 and more dangerous!!!😵😵😬😬🇺🇸🇺🇦🇬🇧💖👀🌍🌍

[@TheDarkness1]

@@Katzztar Bullies are definitely not smart. Brut force will cause damage, but intelligence will clip the bully in the end.

[@cageybee7221]

"terrorist captured by stoned syrian refugee" is my new favorite headline lmao

[@thomastheseer6117]

I think the guy turned himself in. He is an old overweight man who I think something tragic happened in his life and he just snapped and decided to take his anger out on the people of new York city and after the fog of his rage cleared, he realized what he did and called himself in.

[@christinatweet6580]

Ckkkkkolburt!!! ❤️ the background laugh of that producer guy....Reminds me of the good, old pandemic days ..

[@lotowner7240]

Definite Emmy for this monologue!

[@notmeus1968]

The Russian flagship was first commissioned in the 1970s in Ukraine and in 2001 was retrofitted and renamed the moskva in 2022 the pride of Russia fleet came home and was renamed the Snake Island Memorial Reef

[@Mercury-Wells]

😄😄😄😄😄 you should write for Colbert!

[@cleverusername9369]

Do the Russians not know it's bad luck to rename a ship?

[@Adurnis]

Beau from the 5th column made that joke earlier, it’s going around.

[@johnsmithe4656]

​@@Adurnis Beau's video was hilarious! "Spontaneous combustion"

[@bookbwitched466]

@@Adurnis Love Beau. A staple in my Wisdom, Wit & Sanity Search & Rescue SWAT Team. As is Colbert.

[@freebein]

"People think that I am crazy. Maybe they think I am on drugs. *But I am not. I am fasting.* " Shout out to this dude for being real. He should at least get some of the money.

[@speakerz74]

how do you know he is being real he could be fasting and on drugs

[@KNR90]

I've got lazy students with this bullshit as an excuse to do nothing. most of them do nothing anyways. Meanwhile everybody else is fine, 90% of them are Islam and fasting.

[@Exiled.New.Yorker]

Confirming fasting crazies are real. Source: Was Taxi Dispatcher in the 90's.

[@TheDarkness1]

Is baked potato.

[@sluttymctits4496]

This just reminds me of this young guy who runs a smoke shops near me. I went in one day and he was WIRED. I thought "Man, he's gotta be on some good uppers." My bf and I were talking to him and out of nowhere he said, between jumping around/pacing/singing/dancing "Don't worry, my friends, I'm just fasting and it's almost over. It's Ramadan." He *was* smoking copious amounts of weed, though, but I've never known anyone to get that hyper from some bud.

[@Imaculata]

You'd better not join NATO, or else I will do the thing that makes you want to join NATO. Great work Vlad.

[@singinglibrarian]

Remember when insanely rich people did things like built libraries with their money? Between 1883 and 1929 Andrew Carnegie funded the building of 2,500 libraries. Why can't the billionaires like Bezos and Musk do that with their money. They could do so much good for the world.

[@gregbailey45]

Musk is. Do your research.

[@joblessbum7]

I really hope Elon Musk doesn't reinstate trump on twitter. Twitter has been so much better without trumps daily bullshet and lies

[@johnmurphy9550]

So it's only you & leftists allowed to write junk on Twitter now? The people who rely on Twitter for information are tw@ts

[@alwaysuseless]

spellchick

[@JanBruunAndersen]

You don't know how to unfollow? I can teach you. For free.

[@j.f.fisher5318]

And Russian trolls.

[@Jabaha777]

0 IQ comment

[@MrCardeso]

The Moskva just got the special "reef" upgrade thanks to the non-existent Ukrainian navy!

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@timothyball3144]

Snake Island Memorial Reef. Thanks to Beau for that one.

[@professordogwood8985]

Now the most fearsome flagship in the Russian Navy.... ... is potato. 🥔

[@GM-cj1qf]

Special Operations warship sees missile, becomes a submarine that doesn't work so well.

[@ChainReactionsProductions]

5:31 I’m surprised Stephen didn’t make a joke like “If you look closely you’ll see the Russian State Farm logo… is potato.”

[@MrPhotodoc]

Saw that too.

[@TheDarkness1]

Like a bad neighbor, Potato is there.

[@baknights14]

Like a good neighbor...Is potato.

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@tvwatcher1883]

I love how the russians are regularly humiliated by their own actions (and Colbert :)

[@carlakinsella3833]

Colbert is the best. His sarcasm has no rival. 😆

[@globalwarmhugs7741]

Putin has no shame, and ordinary Russians are being lied to. There's nothing funny about young people being conscripted to their own deaths on behalf of a dictator. Try to have some love for your fellow humans. Brainwashing those soldiers is just as big a crime as the crimes they then are forced to commit. Simply running as a political opponent to Putin gets you killed in broad daylight. Imagine being an ignorant teenager under his regime.

[@irondragonmaiden]

This entire venture is turning into round two for the voyage of the Russian Baltic Fleet in the Russo-Japanese War

[@xposetruth5681]

You guys are so easily duped it’s sad

[@tvwatcher1883]

XPOSE TRUTH I understand maj general vladimir frolov is no longer active in the russian neo nazi military :) someone said he is on a Special Underground Operation :)

[@rustyreturns9754]

ONLY late night host who can make me laugh out loud!😀👍

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

Go Ukraine!

[@Wedgetail14]

We really need to make the Late Show more available in Ukraine in every way. It would be a great morale booster. That Neptune joke was SO good!

[@bookbwitched466]

Exactly what I wrote. I hope they know we see them as heroes as they fight to the death not to destroy their country but to save it.

[@timometsanoja9666]

I was just waiting for the "is potato" joke to come up and it never did...

[@skrypnykA]

We do watch the show in Ukraine ! Humor helps us to stay sane. Thanks for your work

[@user-cy5ip3qe1i]

We look it from Ukraine, it is really good way to make the mood better. But i don't understand joke about potato

[@howardzdenek98]

Timo Metsänoja the State farm segment had the potato joke instead of three circles for State farm it was three potatoes

[@NewMessage]

The NATO news has Vladdy seriously spooked... he went straight to the nuke talk. No chill at all.

[@nobodyknows3180]

Conventional Wisdom: You can catch more flies with honey than with a stick. Putin: Reaches for bigger stick.

[@johnsmithe4656]

Nuke threats are literally all he's got left. He's counting on spooking everyone. If that doesn't work he's finished. He lost in the first 72 hours and is just starting to realize it.

[@cageybee7221]

@@nobodyknows3180 well when you try honey for 10 years and at best nothing happens and at worst you are further isolated, what else can you do?

[@bwenluck9812]

@@cageybee7221 Maybe take the hint? Or not....

[@pioneernut7487]

Putin is looser. He barks and barks but wont bite

[@thomasbukowski2526]

I've had someone describe salted licorice as tasting like "a sad cowboy's belt"

[@raymondhendrikse6571]

Did this people just cheer the damage/sinking of a ship? Cheering death? Wow, there’s no more hope for humankind.

[@deborahmillette]

The Russian ship has become a pineapple 🍍 under the sea. Ukraine built it and thy sunk it too.

[@scottstalcup6980]

Not a pineapple. Is potato.

[@vikkoro]

Ukraine played a little trick here. First, it knocked out the radar system with a sneaky TB2 drone that blinded the Russian cruiser. And after that, it caressed the cruiser with two Neptune missiles.

[@rommierulez]

That that even worked is INSANE. Moskva had SIX radars. WTH were they thinking, using just one and the one with such apparent weakness at that?

[@vikkoro]

@@rommierulez probably Ukraine knew its weakest point. The ship was actually built in Ukraine when it was still part of the Soviet Union

[@davidmacphee8348]

Rtrump is going to send his Proud Boy army over there to get revenge against Ukraine for breaking Putin's favorite boat.

[@TB-zf7we]

Reports (if can be believed) state the TB-2 distracted the Moskva to turn its back towards land (Odessa). Apparantly Moskva radar was somewhat blind to AShM fired toward it from astern. Speculation is also rampant on how much the TB-2 had painted (laser?) the target for the missile hit.

[@Steven-bs2dj]

Caress vs slam into the side of Russia and any country shouldn’t invade another. Go home warship (even if it’s the bottom of the ocean). 😂

[@joyceroberts6979]

Congratulations, Ukraine!

[@tylerkochman1007]

Thought his Netflix potato joke would be “Russian version of Is It Cake. Spoiler alert: is potato”

[@jacklily999]

The laughs I get from this show has been a lifesaver these last few years. Colbert is the best. Will you start selling the potato with a little voice recording of your voice saying, "is potato"? Maybe as Christmas gifts this year

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@christinatweet6580]

You are SO right!! I LIVED for this show during lockdown!!

[@wrylife57]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

[@Steven-bs2dj]

I love you.

[@dianacasey6002]

Me too

[@jamesturner2126]

Neptune is the God of the water. Which is where the Russian ship went.

[@nobodyknows3180]

And Uranus is the place where the Russian just got effed.

[@tavissmith8112]

God of the sea....also it was already in the water....gotta say that’s a weird ass sentence

[@simul8rduude]

No...no...it's where the Russian Flagship went. 😂😂😂😂 They must have not got the memo that you don't let your flagship sink first. 😂

[@marshamariner7897]

And posiden is the Greek name?? Or vice versa... BOTH 🌊💦🌊 god's...same guy ....still mean as hell 🌹🦋💖🇺🇸🇺🇦🌎👀

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@thehound9086]

The Ukrainians sunk that Russian ship, they called B5, and sunk that battleship!

[@studyhistory2ctruth]

"To Silence Critics?" Only one group of people are being silenced and are against anybody being silenced.

[@igorshubovych]

Can’t believe Stephen did not explain that sank battleship is the same ship that was “Go F… Yourself” on the first day of war. The day before it sank Ukraine officially released postal stamp related to the incident.

[@rogerthomas169]

Don't go to colbert for your news

[@j.f.fisher5318]

It's hilarious to me that Russia's official line is that the ship did in fact f- _itself_. Can't make that up.

[@dianacasey6002]

@@jordant3512 your joking

[@rogerthomas169]

@@dianacasey6002 if jordan's joking, he's funnier than colbert

[@dianacasey6002]

@@rogerthomas169 to each their own

[@ursaltydog]

Really the best timing for Sweden and Finland to join as Russia's troops are spread too thin, and the border is a long one..

[@myriamickx7969]

Maybe the Russian Navy has a few warships in the Baltic that they would like to get rid of?

[@ursaltydog]

@@myriamickx7969 I'd considered that too, but the Russian government can't even pay their troops, so likely they cannot afford to pay their personnel to build another ship?

[@myriamickx7969]

@@ursaltydog : I meant it as a sarcasm: would Russia invade Finland and Sweden to keep them from joining the NATO? Maybe the Russians have warships in the Baltic that they would gladly see the Finns or the Swedes shoot too, like the Ukrainians did with the Moskva?

[@ursaltydog]

@@myriamickx7969 I was agreeing with ya Myriam.. :) Hope you're having a nice Easter.

[@user-ds9bk6nu4x]

..people always ask me what are your drinking and I'm like yah brah its mudddd!

[@ronitennant5253]

Beau of the Fifth Column mentioned "Snake Island Memorial Reef" in reference to the Moskva. Love it!

[@bookbwitched466]

So GOOD! Quintessential Colbert. Every joke perfect. A demonstration in actively choosing light filled joy, sharing it, while remaining aware of evil. Every minute counts, there is no guarantee of another. Fight like hell to laugh while taking care of business.

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@fislertrc]

@@resikchanel843 I am amused that his point of there being Free Speech being allowed on Twitter is that he can post something. He is the Left's darling. Of course he can post. Rooting for Elon to enforce the First Amendment.

[@olympiaskye2324]

@@fislertrc I don't trust this buyout OR it going private. I don't trust this at all. You-Know-Coup, is gonna wanna be part of this site again! He's definitely going to try! If not, he'll certainly cry. How does anyone put up with his constant water works BS?! UGH!

[@tma2001]

except this show's attempts at trolling a troll master like Elon have always been lame

[@twstf8905]

Haha "Nyet-flix" 😂

[@Mrs_Puffington]

That Twitter coverage… what a joke :(

[@stephenlevine011]

Well done 👏

[@chandradattjagdeowwe4lifeb586]

April 14th 1912- Titanic Sank April 14th 2022- Russian Warship sank

[@samuelchan699]

One is potato

[@SeansModelBuilds]

Does that mean that Russia itself will end up like the Titanic when this war is over?

[@evangonzalez2245]

Never let go... of potato

[@j.f.fisher5318]

@@SeansModelBuilds sorry, no high budget romance movie is likely to be made about it. So I've gotta think, no not like Titanic. so more like Edmond Fitzgerald, except no iconic folk songs bemoaning its demise. I guess more like some ship we've never heard of because the world just can't be bothered to give two $h!t$.

[@jimcarlson6157]

Every Single Day: idiotic comments

[@TooBadThatDidntKillMe]

After seeing what's happening in Russia right now the Republicans and Red Hats _still_ want a Putin style autocracy in America headed by Baby Cheesus? 🤣

[@thomastheseer6117]

Stupid is as stupid does

[@It-b-Blair]

They’re being so manipulated by their fears. They are in another world of news and media and are out of touch

[@joanstepleton1637]

Analyzing and application of history and current events has never been their strong point.

[@viper2148]

Funny you would call Republicans autocratic when it was the Biden administration that raided the home of a journalist and took all of his computer data for the 'crime' of trying to return the diary of Biden's daughter to the Biden family. It was the Biden DoJ that investigated moms who spoke out against mask mandates and 'woke' indoctrination as terrorists. It was the Obama administration that wiretapped Michael Flynn, unmasked the transcript and then illegally leaked the conversation to the press. It was SoS Hillary Clinton who illegally stood up her own email server in order to circumvent entirely lawful FOIA requests.

[@Vera-kh8zj]

@@joanstepleton1637 perfect. It needs repeating, though.

[@KittySnicker]

By the way, “Moscva” just means Moscow in Russian. And LOL love the Spongebob joke

[@TaylorSwifty69]

Wow the mainstream really doesn’t want Elon to take Twitter private.

[@galaxy-star-me]

Cause the leftists don’t expect that someone plays offensive

[@eddyk3]

Russia did finally admit the ship sank. However they said it accidentally caught fire, and then sank in a heavy storm. Turkey said one of their nearby ships rescued 54 Russian sailors of the 510 on board. Russia have said nobody died. Even North Korea's press team are laughing.

[@freema9246]

The rest of them are on special mission.....denazifying earth from the deepest levels possible....

[@michaelboettger8762]

Russia claims it was an accident. Protip: when inspecting the ammunition in the ship's magazines, a flashlight is preferred to a cigarette lighter.

[@annemarie1507]

Those Russian soldiers didn't die. They were just reassigned to a special underwater operation.

[@larp1075]

and looks like there’s no storm that day

[@lastjob2011]

Wow! We finally found some one who lies more than Donald Trump! His boss: Vladimir Putin!

[@PalleRasmussen]

Finland's response; "There are 200000 Soviet troops under our soil already".

[@michaeltyler4314]

​@@Kamellion The russkies in 1939 got lost 2 meters underground, as Finnish General Ehrnrooth quite rightly pointed out. That 1939 Victory Parade in Helsinki that never happened, sounds very like the 2022 Victory Parade in Kyiv that never happened -- but which the Russian troops carefully packed their dress uniforms for, before invading Ukraine.

[@ChrisM-tn3hx]

In formerly soviet Russia, warship sinks itself...

[@daysofgrace7818]

Twitter is free speech?? Let that sink in

[@jssandler]

Russia: "we have converted battleship into submarine. it was plan all along."

[@cultureal9544]

Plan Z, because plan A to y didn't make it either, da

[@crafterx1377]

“This Plan Z can’t possibly fail” -Putin probably

[@kevinsmith5318]

This man does his writers proud. He is simply a class act. Love him to bits!

[@bookbwitched466]

A joy & a gift. As are the shockingly clever writers.

[@kevinconboy7387]

He’s a fucking communist

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@mjbgdaad5624]

@@KingMinosxxvi Thanj you! That was so much more witty than any of the monologue. And your delivery -- spot on! (Looooosaaaaa)

[@MrConredsX]

He is a lame unfunny leftist boomer. His audience is lower each year.

[@thilomanten8701]

A whole bunch of "Neptunes" in store, waiting to give the Black Sea Fleet some more "Bad Weather"!

[@strigoi5890]

Colbert recently said Twitter was about free speech. I didn’t know he was such a liar

[@galaxy-star-me]

Free speech ? What a joke ! I was banned from twitter just because I said that Justice department needed to have an investigation for voting fraud as there were so many hearings about the voter fraud at so many states .

[@tudalu]

Rare adequate comment :))

[@unusedaccount6200]

Russian warship has been fucked by Ukrainian missile. Slava Ukraini!

[@jimbob3030]

Warship is not sunk, is on special sea floor operation.

[@unusedaccount6200]

@@jimbob3030 Promoted to submarine duty on special operation... for potato.

[@00SmileTime00]

You should probably look up the history of that battle cry before you go around saying it. Just a thought.

[@unusedaccount6200]

@@00SmileTime00 I did. Forbidden in the Soviet Union. Translates to “Glory to Ukraine” - Currently being used as a way to support Ukraine against the invading orcs. Think about what’s going on in the world before you virtue signal about some ruskie history of it. Slava Ukraini!

[@Tao_Tology]

@@00SmileTime00 "Just a thought" No, your effort there does not qualify as thought, just empty posturing.

[@charlesmartin1121]

Stephen Colbert is our secret sauce for coping in dispiriting times.

[@jc6800]

Ultimate cope....best cope....copium with Steven is gooood...

[@loritracy1385]

😂 Is potato- still keeps me laughing off & on through the day.

[@kreiner1]

God yes he is, I'm in southern Oklahoma I mainline stupid all day long. I love my phone and political satire at the end of the day.

[@MiaN..N]

Charles... the sauce you speak of is A d R e N O ?

[@charlesmartin1121]

@@kreiner1 I hope they don't make it a crime to watch late night comedians in Oklahoma. They just might.

[@lisamcmillon3743]

You are extraordinarily informative and funny and life is much better because of you!

[@dmytroandruhov9119]

the postage stamp for which the Ukrainians voted (Colbert already mentioned this in one of the issues) depicted this ship two weeks ago. the stamp came out on April 13, the ship sank on April 14, 110 years after the sinking of the Titanic ...

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Russian warship now I.S.S. Potato. 🥔

[@drtaverner]

After Finland kicked ass during the Winter War... I doubt they're too afraid of Russia to join NATO.

[@Maiju86]

Finns don't want war, we are a peace loving nation. Being a member of NATO would make it less likely for Russia to attack... And we are 6 million people against 144 million people. 😬

[@MrKorton]

Still they lost east finnish Karelia and 400 thousand people had to move from the seized territories to Finland.

[@TheLatinGQ]

That State Farm jingle killed me... I'm dead now

[@curtisberard7831]

"Today we unveil our newest weapon. Ship that is submarine. But is simply potato."

[@NewMessage]

"... It gets Italian very quickly..." Half of Italy just clutched it's chest at the thought of Russia 'getting them' next.

[@pattyamato8758]

He was talking about his accent, though

[@resikchanel843]

Last fight kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqbVZWWco653jpI

[@chrissiek8706]

Italian Gucci shutchi and other luxury brands are traitorously cosy with russian oligarchs, especially their daughters, wifes and other shliuchas.

[@dmitrirudder4878]

The port of Giergenti has warm water....

[@j.f.fisher5318]

The other half of Italy is rejoicing that Russia has usurped their former meme military status.

[@zogar8526]

It realy is amazing how often people confuse free speech with hate speech, lies, and dangerous misinformation. Almost like they never read the constition and don't know what it actually says or anything about laws.

[@cherylb6755]

👍🏻 One Like was not enough.

[@TheDarkness1]

Starting with those in power of our government. No accountability.

[@Nimoodles]

You know what else is amazing? The fact that Americans think their right to free speech is applicable to the internet. Local laws have zero sway over what people can and cannot do, because websites themselves have TOS, and Behavior Guidelines. If you break them, you're gone. No other country has that absurd, delusional belief that their country's laws are applied to the internet, and by extension, every other country's citizens.

[@KuariThunderclaw]

Unfortunately those things do fall under free speech as it stands. To some regard it makes sense, as without that protection, we could end up like Russia, passing an "anti-misinformation" that is actually a "present what the government tells you, even if it's a lie" law. But it doesn't mean that the people who actually DO spread misinformation and hate speech don't deserve a good slap.

[@derekwang7330]

Zogar, would you mind sharing who gets to decide what is misinformation?

[@kaladan1890]

omg the battleship joke got me in tears

[@geni40]

Cant believe SC threw EM under the bus like that ?!?