UKRAINIAN reacts to THE MACHINE for the first time

[@fantstic16]

He's actually a local legend in Russia but I think the young people now dont know about him

[@luke78621]

Seriously? Lmao

[@fantstic16]

@@luke78621 yeaah when he did his special many Russians were like so this is the guy we've been hearing about

[@I-Nex]

Он был мемом в рамках одной небольшой компашки, не преувеличивай

[@BillyMcBean.]

@@I-Nex what kind of meme tho

[@djfreem6881]

@@I-Nex it took me forever to translate that, lol. For future genz it says, “ he was a meme within one small group, don’t exaggerate”

[@michaeltabor4176]

Bert's classmates have confirmed this story. There are actually photos of him and Igor floating around the internet. Fanny pack and all. He said the police were the scariest ones to party with because they didn't care about anything. This guy was also the inspiration for the movie Van Wilder. Minor: Some degree programs require you to declare a minor. You degree program is the major area of concentration and the minor is secondary. For instance, I have a degree in Mathematics, but I also have a minor in computer science.

[@vladkast]

Oh wow! Thanks for this

[@kristopherheenk2710]

@@vladkast -- Not only was his time at college the inspiration for the movie Van Wilder, Bert's retelling of "The Machine" has actually become so popular that they are making another movie about him that focuses on his time with the Russian mafia.

[@vladkast]

Really, I didn’t know that!

[@phyzik1800]

@@vladkast He got famous for his partying days in college from an article written about him in Rolling Stone magazine in an article called "The Undergraduate". Rolling Stone named him the #1 partier at the #1 party school in the nation (at the time).

[@alejandrorivas4585]

@@kristopherheenk2710 whaaaaa I didn't know this

[@ladyshar42]

I used to work with a bunch of Russian studies professors, and they were all like "yeah, this is plausible given it was the 90s". I made sure all our grad students watched it, lol.

[@vladkast]

Oh for sure it’s true, I have no doubt or he did a very very veeeery good research lol

[@mithshude]

​@@vladkast it is true, here are pictures from the story imgur.com/a/mf15yLM

[@Shiznittlebizbampop1]

@@mithshude OMFG where did you find those!? I have a feeling Bert himself has a hard time finding those!!🤣😂🤣😂👍

[@mithshude]

@@Shiznittlebizbampop1 his friends put them up on his facebook or twitter in a post he made about the story and they spread around a bit, i don't think this is all of them but it's a collection i found when i googled it :p

[@B.OKwithShay]

His classmates have said they were robbed by him and the mafia. Was how he blew up a couple years ago. The movie van wilder is loosely based off his life and rolling stones coined him the number 1 party animal in america when he was in college

[@galadballcrusher8182]

he said once in an interview that his stage stress and stage fear was making him anxious and sweaty so once he had took off the shirt to avoid sweat and he kept doing afterwards

[@vladkast]

I should do the same when I film videos, I sweat more than usually 😂

[@vivianjones9749]

He’s rocking the original Dad body

[@snekek1564]

@@vladkast lmao

[@mikekristin7201]

Vlad. Here is your moment. Find away to get a 90's Russian gangster to react to the story. You could break the internet

[@TheUncleBungle]

Would be good if he could find any of the 3 Igor's 😂😂

[@yargnaurd]

@@TheUncleBungle or yegor

[@ahnrho]

Pro mafia move.

[@anime_cyko]

Done

[@alen7480]

10:00 "hooked on phonics" was a course that was very popular in commercials in the 90s. It was a way to teach kids reading using phonics, or the sounding out of the written word letter by letter.

[@je__.]

thank you 😂😂

[@mikepowell8611]

"Lots of people go to college for 7 years." "Yeah, they're called doctors."

[@xiphos8219]

Did I hear a niner in there? Are ya calling from a walkie talkie?

[@fezzik7619]

If you’re going to quote a classic movie you might want to put the name. People might think you’re trying to take credit for the joke 🤔

[@jessedevilbiss8436]

Or they went to Florida State. Seriously. I know an idiot who went there and was jealous that I didn't go. I'd be a Professor there if I had gone. He's spot on about the school. No disrespect for the smart people who attended. But I'm pretty sure that you'd agree.

[@MikeCaputo]

To answer your questions: On average you go to college for 4 years to get a degree. A minor is basically a secondary degree (2 years study) that you get done usually at the same time as doing your main (major) degree (your major being a 4 year degree). Hooked On Phonics is a popular learning program in America from the 90s that they used to teach kids how to read. Also this story is 99% true and has been confirmed by Facebook posts and photos shared by his old classmates that were on the trip. He also went out and partied with the cops that night, and they had to take the same train trip back from Moscow with the same gangsters so he had to party with the same gangsters again on the way back

[@vladkast]

Thanks for explaining me! But I had no doubt the story is true, it’s too accurate representation of the 90s in Russia to be not true

[@onepieceofgumleft]

And hieroglyphics , are pictures used to communicate. Ancient Egyptians were most famous for this.

[@thedude6043]

@@vladkast The story in a general sense has been confirmed by other people that were in his class in college on that same trip. The part about a theft on a train at least.

[@galadballcrusher8182]

@@onepieceofgumleft and is a reference to how he felt about cyrilic alphabet because of total lack of understanding to it

[@NikeBG]

@@galadballcrusher8182 The funny thing is, if you know Cyrilllic, you might even guess the word that he was referring to. Namely: the star is almost certainly Ж, the circle is of course an O, the hashtag is possibly П and the shoe is possibly a lowercase cursive A (which looks a bit like the Greek alpha). That would mean that he did indeed learn at least a bit of Russian and it also shows what particular part of the Russian language he learned (hint: I doubt жопа would be an answer on any official Russian language test).

[@angelinazru82]

By the way, when he did this stand up in Miami a while ago, I was in the audience, and when he asked if anyone from Russia I said yes. Then he wanted me to confirm that he is saying "cheese" in Russian correctly. It was a hilarious show.

[@ArgyleDinosaur]

I saw this in my recommended and I literally shouted "THE MACHIIIINE" and had to pause your other video I was watching to come watch this one. OH my God, THANK YOU for this. I love this story of his and I was so excited to see you reacted to it. Your laugh cured my depression.

[@randomsandwichian]

If this is not the first reaction to any thumbnail of his, you need to see it 🤣 All hail THE MACHIIIIINEEE!!!

[@Sharpandpointless]

I yelled "THE MACHINE" too

[@vladkast]

Thanks for watching the video! I absolutely loved this guy and this story!

[@garrettnobles6775]

A better part of this story is that his former classmates have confirmed this is true. If you google him, some classmates have even shared pictures online of that trip.

[@xHarpyx]

Hey so hooked on phonics is a program to help people learn how to read here in America

[@phredphlintstone6455]

He has another story about meeting his wife....it involves a bear 🐻

[@regulus8518]

i think he wants to say Я мужчина (i am the man) but he ends up saying я машина (i am the machine), russian stories are the best lol

[@elischultes6587]

He more wanted to say I work pussy.

[@kms50549]

I am car

[@PiggyPigFace]

@@kms50549 i am car

[@regulus8518]

@@kms50549 not just car but more generic as well machine or engine

[@toyotatacoma1616]

@@kms50549 “I’m the engine!”

[@Chuck-PK]

There's an extended version of this story that details some of his times with the cops and during that he met a powerful mob-boss who also said "I understand you are The Machine," and proceeded to party with him.

[@g3n3ral1nsanity5]

I'm glad you posted this comment

[@anime_cyko]

Yo, I’ve heard about this but can’t find it. Where does he tell this part?

[@ariadnepyanfar1048]

Heiroglyphics are the pictographs that make up the Ancient Egyptian writing. For an English writer, Cyrillic may as well be heiroglyphics.

[@gogo14882]

true

[@Thennix]

Yeah had russian for 1 term, and damm learning to write the letters was like drawing ancient egypitan lol

[@fuhrercrepe]

@Solve Everything He never had to learn so he never tried to lol

[@MajesticSkywhale]

@Solve Everything it literally took me about an hour to master cyrillic. Dunno wtf most of it means but can read you anything in russian.

[@paulacarr122]

@@MajesticSkywhale Yes, and sometimes the Russian words are the same as in English (or very close) so if you now Cyrillic you can understand some words. I'm thinking of "restaurant." I had friends who went to Russia and were laughing because they said the restaurants were called "pecktapah." Well, no, it's more like Reestaran.

[@sandilar]

His classmates have backed him up and said ‘yes! It happened that way’. He is legit

[@themadmallard]

"hooked on phonics" is a supplemental young-age education program that did lots of national-level advertising back in the 90s, pervasive level of advertising practically.

[@peachykeenen]

oh wow, I was born in 94 and actually learned to read with Hooked on Phonics by the time I was 4? I could read before I went into Pre-K. obviously my parents bought into the advertising lols but I never knew there was negative connotations with hooked on phonics or that it was so mainstream so I learned something today. I always had a high reading comprehension level all throughout my school years, reading at a High School level in Elementary School and Im curious if there's a correlation between Hooked on Phonics and high comprehension reading, or if it was just natural intelligence with regards to reading on my part.

[@MJP_985]

@@peachykeenen i did the same thing with a different but similar program, learning to read early. i think the connotation here is he's hes an adult needing this very basic education, rather than a negative connotation to the program as a whole. never seen anyone disparage a kid for learning how to read well.

[@Crazt]

Not going to lie, the most dangerous way to learn a language is drunk.

[@timbrwolf1121]

It's actually been proven recently that it's easier to learn while drunk. Not like advanced language or anything, but basic communication skills are apparently picked up better when intoxicated.

[@Crazt]

@@timbrwolf1121, doesn't make it safer.

[@liltomboy2593]

@@timbrwolf1121 I wanted to stop drinking alcohol but hey, I can get intoxicated whilst doing smth productive for the first time so hell yeah (jk I am way to scared to get drunk)

[@warrenpeace8729]

My middle name is drunk 😎

[@warrenpeace8729]

Crap I meant danger

[@whiskybooze]

In America college is usually just 4 years for a Bachelor's Degree. He's poking fun about how bad of a student he was and it took him 7 years to graduate. This story is confirmed by former classmates of his so it's true and they're making a movie about it currently. Also the movie Van Wilder was based off him from when Rolling Stone magazine did a big article about him back in the day.

[@KillerF0x]

It’s awesome to see a Russian react to this comedy, he is one of my favourite comedians. Also, I am a Canadian teaching myself Russian!

[@vladkast]

Thanks

[@3Speedboy]

"I work cat?" Oh my god he wasn't exaggerating

[@TheObscureRambler]

You just gained yourself a Finnish sub. x'D For laughing in all the same places, for providing a translation - AT LAST! - to what the cop said, and for generally being chill and amused about Russian stereotypes and exaggerated if TRUE comedy.

[@Mugthraka]

its even funnier whne you learn that this story is 100% real...

[@schoolsenpai773]

I wouldn't say 100% just because it's been a long time and he may forget things. However it is definitely true in general

[@Errupt]

@@schoolsenpai773 yea he probably exaggerated a bit but it’s still true

[@rickyabell6309]

@@schoolsenpai773 Apparently everyone involved that spoke about it confirmed everything was true.

[@cloud2676]

His classmates confirmed it on Facebook.

[@unseenmal]

If I'm not mistaken, the film Van Wilder (with Ryan Reynolds) was based on Bert. I remember reading an article that said it.

[@yasseressa1696]

It was inspired by an article from the rolling stones about Bert.

[@jessedevilbiss8436]

I took Spanish for years but when I lived in Mexico I actually learned it. So I get that part.

[@craZysteve547]

I agree, I'm engaged to a Mexican national and when you're in Mexico and totally engrossed by the language it starts to click in your brain.

[@Chris-rh9ej]

hieroglyphics are early style of writing that used symbols they didn’t have an alphabet at that point.

[@pheenobarbidoll2016]

This story always reminds me of my high school years when I partied with bikers and they'd hand me the big plastic jugs of whiskey to watch me make the sides touch as I took a shot. One guy had a doberman outside that was aggressive as hell. I went outside to get some air ( the heating in the house was broke so they burned wood in huge metal trash cans. Inside) and I fell off the porch. I woke to the doberman licking my face. The next morning I couldnt recall if I dreamed it or if it happened so I walked over to the dog, as it was going crazy barking and straining against the lead it was on. Everyone was yelling for me to stop, they thought I was about to get torn up. But when I got up to the dog it started wiggling all happy and I rubbed his belly. They were in awe lol Good times.

[@DoctorZisIN]

"Hooked on Phonics" is a system to learn English for little kids based on sounds, rather than spelling, which was popular in the US in the 90's.

[@uoabigaillevey]

I remember it from the late 70's and early 80's.. by 1980 I was in 5th grade so was already past the stage where I learned with it... so it was definitely around in the 70's.

[@JaneDoe-ci3gj]

Thanks. I'm Swedish so I didn't get that.

[@drowningincats3921]

“Hooked on Phonics” was a language learning system from the early 90’s that you could mail away for.

[@gavinchia5841]

I showed this Bert Kreischer video to my Russian colleague and he laughed so hard.

[@TheGersh18]

A minor can have multiple meanings in English, the minor that his professor was referring to is a degree. You have a major which is the primary subject you’re studying and if you take enough classes in a different subject that can be your minor. Minor also means child or someone under the age of 18 years old, малолетка.

[@kotch911]

To answer your questions about American colleges (averages): Associates degree - 2 years Bachelor's degree - 4 years Master's degree - 6 years Doctorate/PhD - 8-10 years When you get a degree you "major" or focus on a certain topic, a "minor" is a secondary topic that you studied almost as much as the topic you majored in.

[@darkamora5123]

Also a minor generally relates to the major. So Say a history major with a Russian minor.

[@SimoExMachina2]

As an example, I "majored" in Information Processing Technology (an engineering field of computer science) and "minored" Applied Mathematics.

[@rayge87]

I never get tired of that set from Bert!

[@sarakucij3002]

Great reaction - thank you from a Ukrainian-American 😊

[@iAmMantequilla]

It was so liberating to watch a Russian enjoy Bert's story. Validating his language use, etc. And then you found it hilarious as well. I've heard the story a million times it seems like but this was cool to watch

[@SIXX2772]

This is one of my favorite skits, loved your genuine reaction so I subbed.

[@timbrwolf1121]

He learned russian for real after all of this if I am not mistaken

[@michelleenglishpaiser6743]

When you attend a 4 year college, you take a Major course of study, and you can take one or more Minor courses of study. The Major is the field in which you get your degree, and a Minor is 15 to 18 credits in a specific area.

[@joshkleifgen6525]

Hooked on Phonics was a teaching system for kids. The advertisement was ubiquitous in the US back in the 90s.

[@snowice8816]

His story is confirmed. Also there's a movie loosely based on this story.

[@vladkast]

I know! That's crazy, I watched that movie when I was a kid and at 26 I found out it was based on Bert's life haha

[@VanderWallStronghold98]

@@vladkast name of the movie please

[@vladkast]

Van wilder or something like that

[@dustin600]

There's gonna to be a new movie called The Machine. I think it's being made now.

[@Minotaur-ey2lg]

Van Wilder is loosely based on parts of his life, but somehow the less interesting parts.

[@N7AslansHobbit_Ry]

Getting a minor is like getting a small part of your degree focusing on something else.

[@elischultes6587]

He is more self conscious of sweating through his shirt than being shirtless. I’ve typed that enough times my phone was suggesting almost everything word for word. Other good bits from Bert is Skydiving with Rachel Ray, his appearance on Conan talking about his daughter Isla, and also from this special talking about Koreans.

[@loriwishman1866]

I love that you translated the random phrases. Subscribed.

[@guestuser2373]

I have seen this before, but it's always best to watch with someone who speaks Russian.

[@jeremyanderson11]

I love your reaction dude. Keep it up! From the US. New York.

[@isabelpacheco9400]

I just subscribed, this very minute! Your videos are fantastic, and I've loved this story by Bert Kreisher for quite some time! I enjoyed watching you experience it for the first time. Btw, I can drink them under the table too! 🤣🤣🤣

[@akula4669]

I think it is important to know that in Russian the words "machine" and "man" are pretty similar and an easy mistake for a foreigner to make when they don't know the language. So when he was walking around and saying "I am the machine", I am sure everyone heard it as "I am the man" which makes the whole story so much more funnier!

[@vladkast]

You mean Машина and Мужчина. Uhhhhhhhh... Idk... I kinda can see that but not really. Plus doesn't he say it in English, not in Russian?

[@akula4669]

@@vladkast Hehehe had to triple check myself after your response! It was in Russian at 6:07! :D

[@vladkast]

Oh, my bad

[@vladkast]

You right then 😂

[@CaptainRudy4021]

@@akula4669 actually it was the opposite. In an interview he said he thought he said I'm the man but in reality he said I'm a car which is why the gangsters thought it was funny.

[@cynthiaschultheis1660]

The most hilarious story I've ever heard!!! Retired from university teaching...knew a few Russian and Russian language professors. Pretty cool people, cuz they were here. I've got some Baltic DNA, and Hungarian...feel the Slave in my family from Hungary.

[@zacharyferguson1139]

He was going for a Bachelor's degree which is normally a 4 year commitment. Having to spend 7 years meant he basically flunked all but one year of his program and had to retake those classes afterwords.

[@GoblinSurprise]

In the U.S. when you go to college you have to declare your 'major'. A major is your focus in college and what you get your degree in. A minor is a secondary degree added to your primary degree. In my case I have a major in war studies and a minor in japanese.

[@Allagi22]

In American universities you earn a bachelor degree which typically takes 4 years. For Bert it took 7 years, because he was constantly partying, drinking, and failing classes. Your degree focus is your major, which is to say your main area of study. For example say you want to work as an accountant your major would be in accounting. You can also graduate with a minor which is a secondary specialization which takes significant credit hours of studying to achieve---but far less than a major would. Because Bert took so many Russian classes and went on a study abroad trip he could qualify for a minor in Russian Language. You can double major, triple major same with minors when studying depending on how many classes you take. You can also graduate with a major and no minor. What's relevant to this story is that Bert stayed in Russian language classes because he was guaranteed a passing grade for doing zero work. The reason for that is that he attended Florida State University which is in Tallahassee, Florida, USA. Barely anyone is studying Russian there. But apparently there was a graduate level student looking to earn her masters degree who was paid by the school to study and teach lower level students the language. She needed at least 14 students to keep her job, and with him enrolled it make it exactly 14. So she agreed to pass him, while he did zero work, so long as he kept taking the classes. It was a scam. He got to pass a class doing nothing, she kept her job. To make the trip to Russia happen she needed at least a certain number to go so she again bent the rules and incentivized him to go by offering to bolster his degree with a minor in Russian language. He accepted and went over to Moscow in the 90s, and the rest is history.

[@yorpersona]

Born in Yugoslavia myself. This was funny. I understand some Russian, so thought your reaction was great.

[@clowheeler]

I'm sure someone has already answered this. But I'm too lazy to look. When he said he was robbing the bar cart 'hooked on phonics' style. He's referring to a mail order language learning video set for kids, it was around in the like 90s. There were always commercials for it on TV when I was a kid.

[@IonizedComa]

This dude is going places I'll be here when you hit a million subscribers

[@Roboto2073]

I always wait for 3 uploads to decide if I should subscribe or not. Today is the day for you my friend. Keep up the great work. Subscribed!

[@vladkast]

Thanks!

[@jayare1338]

Loved how at the end he fondly broke down laughing

[@jgood9716]

Hieroglyphics are the writings on the pyramid walls in Egypt. (Ancient Egyptian writing system)

[@armandking8326]

7 years in college because he partied the whole time. He's the reason the movie "Van Wilder" was made.

[@silverxchain9629]

I’m from Russia (Aleksandrovsk Perm) and forgot most of the language and at university they offered Russian classes. Fortunately relearning most of it was way easier than I thought, unfortunately I didn’t get to go to Russia 😂

[@knxwrtr]

I’ve watched Bert do Terell this story several times over but it still continues to be funny.

[@richblyth488]

You watching the video was great ,I like how you translated the things he said, awesome video man

[@blazr1976]

He goes by Burnt Chrysler and he loves Kool-Aid.

[@alejandrorivas4585]

Lol

[@dizzyf5506]

But you never told how to say “I’m the machine” in Russian, Burt only ever says it in English

[@vladkast]

Daaaaamn, you right! Missed opportunity!.. "Я МАШИНА" - here you can read it haha

[@vladkast]

answered this in QnA video today, check it out if you want...

[@justajumpingypsygirl]

@@vladkast Link please? I wrote a comment on the original video about how for a beginner learning Russian "Я Машина" and "Я мужчина" (I'm a man) could be confused.

[@vladkast]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rmaTnYKGlKxjoMU at 2:41

[@pamelakrier]

I’ve seen Bert tell this story many times in person - he almost always says it in Russian 😂

[@alvarofernandez5118]

College is 4 years. 7 years meant he didn't try very hard.

[@shadowproductions969]

Well a bachelor's is 4 yrs. In America we have an associate's which is usually 2 yrs, a bachelor's being 4 yrs, a master's being 6 and a doctorate being 8 yrs. (Then you have post doctorate stuff for surgeons and such that can go on up to another 6 yrs)

[@eXpriest]

"Lots of people go to college for seven years ..." "Yeh ... they're called Doctors."

[@vladkast]

Oooo, burn haha

[@thezodiacbull1337]

Well depends on what your studying to get a PhD its 12 yrs

[@alvarofernandez5118]

@@thezodiacbull1337 or more... I didn't think anyone would think this guy was going to med school.... :-D

[@jessicadias5014]

10:01 Hooked on Phonics was a VHS movie set in the 90s for young kids learning how to read. I only know this because my mom was a typical 90s mom where instead of buying me a movie she would wait for it to be shown on TV and then record it on the VHS tape. And all 90s kids know that tape could be 5+ taped over movies old. Well a lot of my old childhood movies from the 90s had the hooked on phonics commercial. And now as an adult I really don't mind because I view it as a time capsule of 90s media.

[@mohamadmerhi9277]

Privet ! At 3:26 you asked what a hieroglyphic is. Hieroglyphics are those characters picture writing of the ancient Egyptians that are found in pyramids and other artifacts belonging the Pharaoh era of Egypt. Greetings

[@Duke00x]

A minor in college is a secondary field of focus that you take while studying your major. It can be related to your major or it can be completely separate. You don't get a degree for your minor. It just denotes that you have a certain level of formal education in said subject. A good example is a major in computer programming with a minor in advanced mathematics (minor related to major) or a major in history and a minor in Russian or culinary arts (example of minor not being related to major).

[@Goobicon4507]

Minor: you have a major in University. A minor is like a side specialty. He'd have a minor in speaking Russian if he completed the trip. Heiroglyphics: Egyptian alphabet. The joke being that the tests he takes involve letters he doesn't understand - Cyrillic.

[@missdontwantaname7900]

This guys life has to become a film 😂

[@snafmar]

OMG how did i miss this one, my favorite video so far hahaha love you vlad (we also drink Baltika in Greece!!)

[@mitchshelton2995]

Liked and subscribed. Love and respect.

[@karaokeitaliano]

Glad you found out about Bert!

[@Matches771]

Thanks man, that was an awesome reaction! Keep it up ;-)

[@Laudon1228]

In the US for an bachelor’s degree, it’s four years. A “major” is the subject of your primary degree, “minor is a secondary degree. Hieroglyphics are ancient Egyptian writing. Hooked On Phonics was a method of teaching languages.

[@kennethr5471]

maaann i love your video's your reactions and explanations are so pure :D I'd love to learn Russian so bad hahah. Keep it up man :D

[@flo7069]

One of the best stories i've ever heard! :D

[@daltontaylor8830]

“Hooked on phonics” was an educational book series here in America that teaches you how to phonetically learn English by “sounding out” the words.

[@TheBlindJim]

@vladkast hooked on phonics was an old program to help kids with their reading and english skills. There were a lot of commercials in the early 2000's for it, which is probably why he is referencing it

[@tobleroneturtle5379]

When in undergrad you are asked to choose a subject of focus which is called a major. Some ppl choose to have another less focused subject in addition to their major called a minor. Some times ppl choose a subjects related to their major. Example: major in engeneering with a minor in mathematics. Or a major in fine Art with a minor in Renaissance art. Hooked on phonics was a late 80's and early 90's reading tool for American kids.

[@vladkast]

Thanks!

[@rickykeim2005]

Hooked on Phonics was a learning method for teaching Children to read it was popular in the U.S.

[@nasseralharbi8743]

Hez popped on this stand up story😂😂😂😂Bret was really funny

[@mzmamamiavirgo]

He said, "Hooked on PHONICS style".

[@ladyshar42]

that line always cracks me up

[@Shaneejardine]

Such a good reaction. You definitely have a new subscriber.

[@realburglazofficial2613]

I went to Belarus. Baltika is soooo good. I got heavily involved in Baltika 3-4 and 7.

[@kylemozisek4885]

A minor when talking about schooling is like an understudy

[@kellymarklong]

The entire special “The Machine” is on Netflix.

[@ndk2k4]

Yeah, the decade post the USSR collapse were very interesting to live through in Eastern Europe.

[@ponedwarf3082]

This is his most popular joke and he tells it at almost every comedy show he does. A few months ago his wife had told him that if he was going to half ass the joke he shouldn’t do it. It effected it him a lot and he has started trying to add to the story. Also his teacher that didn’t like him later came up to him and asked him to party with the gangsters again on their way home as they liked him and it was the best way to keep them safe

[@nickroeder7512]

I wish he had more stories about his time in Russia. I understand things might be hard to talk about since it sounds mostly illegal but it would make for some good stories.

[@officialroxxmusic]

They’re making a full movie on it, so we’re gonna get a good amount of new stories!

[@CaptainRudy4021]

He tells more stories in a podcast with vladTV such as how they stole the boat

[@manuele.itriagom.728]

Bert addressed a Karen before "Karens" were a thing: When he says: "I love someone said no, as If they did a headcount". That's some Karen-pre Karen shit right there hahaha

[@JaneDoe-ci3gj]

That Karen was right though. He robbed the bar car and he robbed the f*ing train!

[@jessicajones657]

I thought that liberal arts English teacher was even more of a Karen, lol

[@jason42080]

Burt knows Russian now But back in 1995 which is the year of the story that he is telling he didn't know that much Russian

[@taylorwiseman8078]

5:12 Okay...what accent did my grandpa learn because he taught me to say it the way he was taught (zdraz-VEE-chya), and my grandma learned it differently (zdraz-VEE-tsee-ya), and my Mandarin teacher in high school, who was a native Russian speaker from Moscow, had no problem understanding me whatsoever when I pronounced words they way I was taught, but she said them a bit differently.

[@vladkast]

ummmm, the word здравтвуйте or zdravstvuite (with latin letters) would be pronounced zdr-ah-stvuit'-ye (idk how to explain the last sound, similar to "ye" in yes). The first letter v is silent like n in government (it's supposed to be pronounced but no one does, same like n in government)

[@taylorwiseman8078]

@@vladkast Okay, thanks. At least I can see how I misheard. :)

[@Laudon1228]

This video reminds me of another phrase I know in Russian “sit down and shut up (be quiet)!” My Mom said she heard that a lot from her mother and grandparents. 🤣

[@dmz5863]

Minors. A minor is like a “mini-major,” a grouping of classes around a specific subject matter, typically between 18-30 credits. A minor must be combined with a major/degree program.

[@ashtonshelton8584]

Generally college in the US is 2 years for an associates degree, 4 years for a bachelors degree (which is what most people get), 8 years for a master, and then generally 10-15 for a doctorate degree. I believe Bert would’ve been there for a bachelor’s, Which is the most common. I think he’s said he had 3 freshman years and 2 junior years but don’t quote me on that. Great video dude!

[@aethermech4585]

Hooked on phonics is a program for learning "english" based on sounding the words out. It was popular in the mid to late 90's. Alot of his comments are very american and sometimes hard to understand. Other than some of his references you understood him very well.

[@KurossuElemenze]

Hooked on Phonics was a learning aid system in the 80's and 90's.

[@sagm706]

College is typically four years for a BA degree- longer for a masters degree. But we have junior college for extended adult learning that is optional or a way to earn general education credits toward a four year degree. I went to Calif University Davis and it was a very competitive and strict school. You couldn’t pretend to learn a language and get a bogus degree there but a smaller regional college with inexperienced teachers - you might get away with this kind of thing. Depends on how tough and well respected the college is. You don’t f around in University!

[@mahamudra911]

5:00 he said he never learned a word while in university. He did not say ever.

[@scottbaron121]

In the US, there are NO "7 year programs". LOL! It's 4 for undergraduate studies. He was a "lifetime student".

[@shadebinder9969]

In college at least in the US in a 4 year degree (sometimes people take 3 or 5 but it's supposed to take 4) your degree will have a major which was your main field of study. A minor means you also took a fair amount of courses in another discipline. So for example you might major in electrical engineering because you want to be a electrical engineer. But Electrical engineers take a bunch of math courses and 1 or 2 more will qualify for you a minors in math. So a EE might take 1 or 2 more math courses and get that minor. On your college diploma it lists all your majors and minors (you can have multiple of each although it's obviously quite difficult and not very common)