Understanding Polyamory

[@abookishwitch5118]

It IS about personal boundaries - Not rules. You can only tell your partner what you are or are not comfortable with but it's ultimately their life and their choice what they do. The idea is to discuss boundaries together and come up with ways to navigate together, whether that be through compromise or time management or whatever. If someone is coming to you asking to help figure out their boundaries they're likely trying to get third party opinions on how to work things out together better withOUT imposing rules. Poly is anti-rules. It's about conversations, compromise, and love.

[@baronvondanger]

One thing I have noticed is that poly people look down on siwngers, swingers dont' look down on poly. When telling poly people I also swing I always get " I am not a swinger" I need to have a connection with someone. When in reality that is most swingers I have met too.

[@baronvondanger]

calling rules boundaries are people that have something against possessive terms and don't follow rules well. They are the same thing. it's just a mental gymnastic one does to trick themselves or their partners.

[@baronvondanger]

prove me wrong. Poly people are or were broken by a bad breakup and in the process of healing they now distribute their needs across multiple people and also refuse to be someone else's everything. Some are happy but most are actually depressed and lying to them selves that they are happy. The whole point of finding the right person is that person is your everything. But people suck and it's hard. You have to work at it and grow with each other. I also have not seen one poly couple that didn't marry young and then later stayed together but went poly.

[@FrenchBasicsStream]

Or maybe you are like a native american chaman and it has been in your culture for millenias.

[@TheMachineMother84]

Poly people aren't always poly because they come from a bad breakup. I've been very happily married for 15 years, and recently came out as bi and poly. I am not poly because I find anything lacking in my marriage. I am both mentally and physically fulfilled. I do not feel that my husband is lacking in any way or that either of us are unhappy. It is because of the fact that we have grown together, that we have a strong foundation, and that I feel safe and unconditionally loved, that I can open up about being poly.