unhappy with college, gym intimidation | Glow up Diaries Episode 14

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★ WATCH ALL OF THE GLOW UP DIARIES: bit.ly/37O0bX6
Episode 14 was filmed: January - February 2019
ABOUT THE GLOW UP DIARIES: At rock bottom I picked up a camera and began documenting my physical and mental pain that seemingly existed without meaning. From age 17 to 22 years old I recorded the “Glow Up Diaries” which is a raw docu-series of my deepest, most painful moments in an effort to find a newer, brighter existence. I openly share my difficulties despite the insistence of the media that such “shameful” feelings be kept in a closet.
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✗ Instagram: @aliviadandrea
✗ Twitter: @aliviadandrea
✗ TIKTOK: @aliviadandrea
✗ Pinterest: @aliviadandrea
MUSIC
Clueless Kit - 2 colours - thmatc.co/?l=F5698375
Clueless Kit - close your fridge it's cold - thmatc.co/?l=869BD4A
Mikayla Geier - Deja You - thmatc.co/?l=620671F7
Rest of music by: www.epidemicsound.com/
BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [e-mail]
⚑ FTC This video is sponsored by Lifesum!

[@aliviadandrea]

★ WATCH ALL OF THE GLOW UP DIARIES: bit.ly/37O0bX6 ABOUT: This is a 6 year docu-series of my coming of age story. I originally thought I would end this series after a few months but ugly truths unraveled as I went further into my glow up journey. I began recording the glow up diaries at 17 years old and finished when I turned 22 years old.

[@georgia957]

Who else is inspired by alivia and is starting a glow up journey next year or is already doing one

[@heatherjohnston6461]

I'm starting nowish to start growing into healthy habits but in the New Year I'm starting properly 💕

[@antonia_handlechner]

I‘m currently on it :) thinking of filming it for my channel too.

[@TheCrazyMiget]

Me!

[@withmaya997]

antonia handlechner I’ve started filming mine! You should definitely

[@katiepertee2576]

Georgia meeee

[@kae-uc6pp]

This girl is a queen

[@madelynbermudez4163]

*yes*

[@Thefitty]

@@madelynbermudez4163 certainly!

[@charlottehorsch9739]

absolutely!

[@Thefitty]

@@charlottehorsch9739 I feel you!

[@brooklyn.d2390]

1k like

[@luceh1000]

I think something that’s worth noting as well is you’re what 18/19 now? There’s no point ever aiming for the body that your 14/15/16 year old self had because you were a child and no adult should be aiming for a child’s body xxx

[@bitethatbullet7054]

Lucie she’s not aiming for a child’s body tho

[@luceh1000]

Bite That Bullet maybe not intentionally but she has spoken about ‘getting back’ to the body that she used have (when she was about 16) anyway it seems as the series goes on she’s becoming more focused on health rather than weight loss which is amazing

[@kitsune2367]

@@luceh1000 but bro she is not aming for a 12 y old body it was 2 years ago so she could easly get back to looking that way

[@luceh1000]

Kitsune no it’s super normal for mid to late teens to start putting on weight rapidly and then freaking out about ‘getting fat’ when it is literally just their body becoming an adult body lol

[@kitsune2367]

@@luceh1000 yyy? Okay? I am 19 and i have never been skinnier in my life XD

[@jhhgf8336]

Recently I heard this: The only person you should compare yourself to is you. I thought it kinda fits

[@mallorielouann546]

4:23

[@jenniearredondo9424]

Y’all need to stop complaining , she’s doing these videos because she likes doing it and not for the Viewers so I suggest to stop complaining because almost every comment is talking about the same thing . She’s trying her best so please understand

[@No-ps2zf]

Girl, I'm calling it: even at 25 you won't know what you're doing. Age doesn't really determine anything in this kind of things.

[@irisp5858]

Exactly lol! And to think that when I was around 18 I would think those ppl around 25 years had it all figured out.. arent we all just acting?😜🤣

[@olive324]

Ok on the whole lifesum thing... tracking is not for everyone. It can be really helpful for some people but from my experience tracking calories always made me feel horrible about myself and I always wanted to eat less and less calories each day to the point where I was eating less than 300 a day. If you aren’t careful with how and what you track it easily can and will become an eating disorder. If it starts to feel stressful, or if you find yourself overanalyzing every little thing you put in your mouth, STOP. But that being said, it can be really helpful and beneficial to some people, as long as you go into it with the right mindset and limits.

[@danielharder7511]

I think calorie and macro tracking is the most effective way to watch your fitness, but if you have an anxiety or eating disorder it can definitely make it worse. The disorder should be treated before you start focusing on tracking numbers. Something that's recommended on the r/fitness subreddit is to just track your calories based on your normal diet for a few weeks before even trying to adjust your diet. I've dealt with anxiety around tracking by doing that in combination with exercising self acceptance, mindfully allowing intrusive thoughts to pass, and trying to focus on the process of calorie tracking rather than constantly reviewing my end goal.

[@liangyinglim3689]

olive that's so true. Thank you for pointing out!

[@maiag1855]

i know u posted this comment a year ago lol but the same thing happened to me:(

[@nathalie308]

I use lifesum right now and I’m pretty sure it made my (possible) eating disorder worse.. I notice that I’ve started to eat less stuff, get more anxiety about food in general and I can’t eat if I reach more than 1000 kcal per day because it makes me feel fat etc. It has truly ruined my mindset. I’m not saying the app is bad but it destroyed me more than it helped if I’m being honest.

[@MicaTheGamer]

100% same experience for me.

[@paigeyp6381]

Agree! Counting calories can become addicting. I have so muvh anxiety if i eat anything without a label to the pount i may cry or become extremly mad about going to restaurants without the calories on the menu

[@stellaluna4658]

Yeah, when I used a different food/calorie tracking app I was miserable. I guess for some people it works, but it makes me want to eat more because I start eating less and being obsessed about lowering my calorie intake which is no good.

[@cc4217]

I noticed that when I was at a low in my ED recovery and I used Lifesum it made it worse, but when I was at good moments in my life I wasn’t affected by it

[@zaakuuroo]

I used to count calories with MyfitnessPal and it was awful. I thought this other app would make the same to me and well, guess I rather not to use it. Thank you for the warning

[@arson6966]

it breaks my heart how many people share this story. i know i do.

[@deeksha2964]

Man, I lose a kg and two days later just binge eat. This sucks. Really want to lose those pounds. Watching your videos makes me feel better, that it's okay to make such mistakes. It's only human. but really need to get back on track so people start taking me seriously. Made some good changes hopefully I'll get there. Lifestyle change is what matters!

[@andressa9074]

If you're binge eating is because your body is lacking nutrients, meaning the diet isn't healthy!! You don't need to get back on track, you need a healthier diet hun

[@nicoleklinck703]

Andressa Cipriano that’s not what binge eating is about. It’s an eating disorder.

[@andressa9074]

@@nicoleklinck703 binge eating is not always an eating disorder. it CAN be, ofc. In this case it's more complex (the op didn't said it was an ed, so I didn't assume so). But if the person is simply dieting and losing weight a healthier diet is the way to help.

[@deeksha2964]

@@andressa9074 I definitely try n get as much nutrients as I can. Sometimes I would be picky but I think what drives me to binge is just that taste of junk, that's satisfaction which obviously makes you feel terrible. I'm getting better with it, when I do binge I don't consume lot of junk, I catch myself and kind of gets minimized. I definitely will choose a healthy diet, thanks for letting me know.

[@weee248]

Andressa Cipriano that makes sense, i remember i was starving myself a few years ago and i would give in to binge eating after i fasted for a few days

[@Capturia]

"I'm sure many 18yr olds don't know what their doing" Me at 18: yes. Edit: so what i get from the replies is that everyone's lost & confused af but if we're all confused together at least we have a community of lovely yet terrified people to be in X

[@darcenci]

20 years old myself: I'm still stuck in the "Wtf am I doing with my life"

[@Capturia]

@@darcencithink im forever destined to work in retail & question 'when will i know what to do'😂

[@arian3180]

Exactly

[@marialyvia9624]

exactly

[@bimbolecter9764]

My 20 years old self doesn't know either and even ppl older are still trying to figure themselves out

[@soosoolar]

here’s a WARNING: LIFESUM ISNT FOR ANYONE(food tracking in general) LIFESUM RUINED ME starting from a sponsorship on one of my fav youtubers and I ended up almost hospitalized. Lifesum is what made my ED grow into a monster that could’ve ruined my life. Thankfully I had an appointment with an eating disorder clinic right as my blood pressure was 2 numbers higher than the number that they hospitalize people at. Tracking your food cant be healthy for everyone You can’t live your life counting everything that goes in your mouth edit: im also super worried for andrea cause her setpoint was 1300 calories idk it just feels like ptsd to me I was destroying my body and eating less and less WHILE BEING A TAEKWONDO STUDENT (which requires attention and strength and proper nutrition) TAKE CARE PEOPLE

[@skinnyuwu4846]

윤사비ᄋ same i just recovered from an ed and lifesum was definitely a contributor to that ed

[@zaakuuroo]

Counting calories is an easy way to destroy oneself

[@soosoolar]

Lucia Castro exactly!!

[@soosoolar]

skinny uwu proud of you!

[@merve4661]

I actually really enjoy lifesum. Helps me track my intake so I'm sure I'm not overeating or eating too little where I will lose muscle

[@lunarlakes]

"this video is sponsored by lifesum!" me, who used to use lifesum to obsess over calories and develop an eating disorder: 👁️👄👁️

[@selenemanzo8474]

Your videos honestly helped me be a better person and make healthier life choices. It also helped me get rid of all my laziness and I was able to get rid of most my acne. Thank you for helping me this year ❤ Edit: wait hold up! Thank you guys so much for 100 likes this makes me so happy! Hope that anyone reading this is having a wonderful day and even if you aren't just remember you're beautiful just the way you are and that one person out there gets so happy seeing you while you make their life 1,000 times happier. It never hurts to be a better you so keep improving and moving forward! ❤

[@Bianca-hq4cy]

Selene Manzo good for you!!! 😁💜

[@selenemanzo8474]

@@Bianca-hq4cy thank you! ❤

[@irenenwokeforo1835]

How did you do it!? I’m 14 and seriously struggling with laziness and acne... please help 😭

[@selenemanzo8474]

@@irenenwokeforo1835 I havent gotten rid of all of my acne but my way is helping it alot. I use the cetaphil cleanser since I have oily skin and the acne medication 5 rugby which you put on ur pimples and it like dries them I guess. It might not work in the beginning since it has to get used to your skin. Normally I use it at night after I wash my face but I have to use alot of face cream after because it sometimes dries my face. I also use alot of sunscreen but I dont have one specific. I have sensitive skin so I dont use many products. I also drink alot of water. My way of getting rid of my acne is working for me but you should try it out even if it doesn't work dont give up because you will get rid of that acne! I'm still working on it but I'm getting there. Hope this helps even in a motivational way 💕💖

[@selenemanzo8474]

@@irenenwokeforo1835 with my laziness I would watch videos on KZbin of people improving in ways like for example watching alivia or I would write down my goals down. Also remembering that if you get up , do what you do will make a huge impact to your future like for example washing my face everyday will get rid of my acne , cleaning my room will give me a clean environment for my thinking , or studying for that big test will make me get a grade that I'm actually happy with. I recomend writing down your goals or a planner and write down why your doing what you are doing. That helped me be organized and be able to have time to do productive things. I hope this helps and happy new year to have a better start and get rid of that laziness and acne! 🤗💕

[@Thefitty]

*This is more exciting to me than boxing Day sales!*

[@guadalupeaguilera3615]

theFitty what?

[@aitaddi2638]

OMG Always I go to a Blogilates' video I see you in the coments and now you are here too. xd

[@Thefitty]

@@aitaddi2638 we have the same great taste :-) you might like my channel!

[@Thefitty]

@@guadalupeaguilera3615 her uploads are more exciting to me than boxing Day sales :-)

[@danae2121]

omg i always see you in Kalyn Nicholson's comments lmaoo

[@gothbee1396]

Y'all complaining about the length of the video but I specifically remember her saying she wasn't making the videos for you but for herself stop whining and enjoy the fact that we got video instead of her just leaving KZbin all together plus if you followed her on ig there is a crap ton of stuff there

[@balletlove9677]

As much as I think it's great that you're choosing to try and infuse healthier decisions into your life... I think you might need to adjust your mindset a little. Even though you are being kinder to yourself now, you place so much importance on progress, and being better, and having a dream lifestyle and.... I don't think you're going to be happy. You may constantly be searching for happiness because it does not come for those with the best health or the most obsessive routines, or the most amazing aesthetics: it comes to people who choose to live in the moment for most of the time. You don't have to be the best. You don't even have to be "better" than how you perceive yourself now. All of us see how amazingly strong you are and how hard you push yourself: but pushing yourself to your limits can't be consistent and I hate to see you go through so many emotional breakdowns. Choose something hard to push yourself in, and then be kind to yourself. Give yourself consistent days off without beating yourself up for a while. Accepting what we have is something not many people want to do or advocate for, I think it would be even more inspiring if you shared with yourself and others what you love about yourself NOW and your life NOW, instead of always worrying about your next step. I really hope that you're okay and know how much we love you and this series 💖 x

[@balletlove9677]

Also as a teenage girl I completely get this series- and it breaks my heart because I've been there. So many of us have been there. The way you speak is so wise- but I can tell its tough and the reason isn't because "you just have to keep pushing" it's because there is fear of never reaching these goals. I don't think you should promote a calorie tracking app to the varying demographics of viewers with different biological needs, knowing that this is a major major trigger for EDs especially in younger people. Please be careful- you are healthy now. You can keep progressing, but it's okay: you can be happy, and content, now.

[@colleenrawson8477]

Yes, and I know Lifesum very well. It was a big problem for me and I'm sure others, too. The problem is even in the name "life sum". I'm taking it super literally, but the sum of your life's worth has very little to do with the ratio of calories burned to calories eaten. It is in the joy you bring. Lifesum tracks everything and should probably only be used if recommended by a doctor to help recognize nutrition/digestion issues. I believe it could possibly encourage compulsive tracking behaviors and that doesn't sound healthy.

[@balletlove9677]

@Ellie Johnson thank you- I forgot she mentioned that earlier. I do like the idea of this series don't get me wrong- just from this video it seems worrying because I don't think she is so unhealthy that she needs to be tracking every number in her life.

[@norao.3722]

Alivia, weight loss is a journey. Sometimes we fail and that is totally alright. What matters is for you to get up and keep pushing forward. You need to learn how to keep a healthy balance. I felt so insecure a few years back, I didn't feel confident in my body and desperately wanted to lose weight. I was eating salads all the time, worked out a lot and never allowed myself to eat anything that is considered 'unhealthy'. Of course, after a while, I couldn't stop my cravings and I've binged and I was so disappointed in myself. Now, I am healthy, I have lost all the extra weight I wanted to and am feeling happier than ever. How? With balance. I eat chocolate almost every day, not a lot, but enough for me to feel satisfied. If there is a family occasion, I don't track what I am eating, I just enjoy my time. I workout 3-5 times a week, because it makes me feel happy, but sometimes life gets in the way, and you know what? That's okay too!! I used to take a lot of before-after photos, just to see if there are any changes and if I haven't seen what I've expected, I felt again, disappointed. But come on, we are not trying to be fitness models here. :) I know the videos you are sharing are just a part of your life and we don't see everything, but you are so young, try not to stress too much about this. You will eventually reach your goals, just don't be so hard on yourself and try to find what works for you. I know you can do it!! :) And one more thing, to end this extra-long comment - we all feel lost sometimes, not knowing what is the next step for us, but this is what life is all about - we try and we fail and then we try again. And this is how we find our true selves.

[@happydreamer111]

Very well said! I agree completely! :)

[@tasniajahin9028]

I loved your comment more than this video. Thanks.... That's what I wanted! Have a good day!

[@cool_kid103]

I watch your videos to help with my eating disorder. It's been really an up and down battle and I've been struggling sence I was 9, I'm 13 now. I have almost died from being over 30lbs under weight. And watching your videos have really helped me to feel like I'm not the only of struggling, and I'm not alone. 💕💕

[@MilkyWay-vr7ku]

Penelope stay healthy ,don’t care about what people think of you ,exceed in your journey ,fight for it ,and remember you’re not alone💖💖I’m also 13😊

[@lisin4444]

❤️ i'm a similar age. i've also had issues with eating. know you're not alone

[@-sisi-9285]

I am also 13 and have had bulimia and anorexia since 8 and 9, I am just now starting to get healthier and get fit. It’s very hard and Alivia is so inspiring to many girls struggling to similar problems. Stay strong

[@grainne9356]

proud of you bby stay strong💓💓

[@cool_kid103]

@@grainne9356 thank you 💕

[@cuanancy]

I see so many comments about some of yall struggling with weightloss and whatnot, and I just wanna break it to yall that the number on a scale means absolutely nothing. Being healthy is about making sure you're healthy on the inside and not on the outside. It should never be about six packs, abs, or having a flat stomach. Cause even the healthiest looking person may have some serious underlying health issue. I also notice some of yall are young and highly encourage yall to watch someone else like Stephanie Buttermore who is extremely educated about this topic.

[@moonroom7577]

Stephanie is Great yes

[@Socialling]

I strongly cosign watching Stephanie! No offense to Alivia but a lot of her mental struggle is because shes uneducated on the matter and her viewers will get trapped in her trial and error pattern esp at the rate these eps come out. Stephanie on the other hand goes in depth with studies, etc.

[@cuanancy]

@@Socialling I like watching Alivia and understand her struggle so no hate to her. But it must be said that being healthy just isn't about the appearance. And yes to me, Stephanie Buttermore has changed the game for everyone :)

[@Socialling]

@@cuanancy Ofc no hate to Alivia bc this journey is hard enough on its own but I do think the harm (however unintentional) of immature viewers watching her videos and not be able to pick and choose from her example, cannot be overstated.

[@jasmyneartis5867]

Nancy right I eat healthy and work out but it doesn’t look like it .. my metabolism is so slow 😩

[@karmakameleon7118]

These episodes are the highlight of my week

[@dorisanishimwe2146]

Instead of doing so much cardio you should do strength training. You're already skinny enough so by strength training you'll grow your muscles giving you a better shape and making you more toned. You don't need to eat salads for meals just eat at a calorie deficit and do the 80/20 rule 80 percent whole foods and 20 percent not so healthy foods. By being consistent and mostly eating healthy you should see results. Hopefully, you see results.

[@asiasdenis]

All my parents can think about is my weight loss. That’s all they want for me. All the stress and pressure they put on me make me buy food in secret and just binge unhealthily at night. I feel so bad about this, and it’s so hard for me to feel happy in my own skin.

[@berneen8866]

You should tell your parents how you feel and get some help before the issue gets worst.

[@teagroot7197]

I’m always here for you and I’ve experienced something maybe not so bad, but I know how that feels

[@lavidadejustina8005]

Feel you like 100%. I have the same situation and I know how it feels.

[@asiasdenis]

Bean Good idea, just scared of my parents lol 😂😭

[@asiasdenis]

Téa Groot Thanks soooo much 😊❤️✨

[@anastyle87]

"Your only competition should be the old you" ~ that hit

[@ErikaDiane]

This is so inspiring wow

[@inesvsdsilva]

“I was never really the one that follow the rules” my fav line yeeess

[@user-jy9rq8nj7q]

The way you can show your body to the internet at a place you clearly weren't/aren't happy with is really inspiring ):

[@sonyasever7625]

03:09 to be honest, when i see overweight ppl exercising i feel so proud for them, it rlly inspires me and gives me power for pushing more

[@danieladeavila6440]

"Have you ever walked into a gym feeling intimidated by all the strong looking people?" Me: YES MY GOD YES! ALL. THE. TIME!

[@lisanatasha7440]

Aliviaaa i opened ur video as soon as your notif is open. If you see this, know that you have inspired me in so many ways to my journey gloing up...currently im at uni and u always seem to boost my motivation just to do things. Just wanna thank u for that

[@margaritalankin9448]

I don’t want to sound off putting or hating in any way but I don’t see her progress anymore.. I found her channel a while back when searching for flexibility guides and ended up subscribing for more fitness vids. I stayed to see this glow up diary series but... it hits too close to home. I know many girls, women, females... basically of all ages that have a very unhealthy mindset of wanting to lose weight. It’s an obsession that eats away at them and all you hear from them is about their weight loss journey.. People need to let go of that perfect body image and just learn to love themselves, accept changes, be happier, and live happier.. Sadly it’s always the nicest people that hurt themselves the most.. :(

[@bxnnygaming6525]

i agree in all honesty.. :((

[@dakshayanisharma6154]

You are right. We should love who we are .

[@_Sharon_J]

A very genuine question here. What kind of progress exactly do you expect to see from her to know she actually has progress?

[@margaritalankin9448]

Sharon Cheboi i would expect to see progress within the mindset. Like I said, I have family members that think just like her and no matter what kind of physical progress they made, their mindset had stayed the same. I hope she isn’t so upset with the outer image but more concerned with genuine health. Mental health. And physical health.

[@tabifiedler6944]

I see where you guys are coming from, but these videos are documenting her past. She’s said before that she had an unhealthy mindset during this series, and these videos are meant to show that, not promote it.

[@catrinsirett-evans7887]

It’s so amazing seeing how much you’ve grown from unhappy and unmotivated to happy and fulfilled! Love you Alivia

[@africanlily6107]

I was literally just about to be productive when the notification popped up

[@waddlesmom]

I stopped watching you since this video came. Today I decided to watch it. I was felling down, depressed. But this made me feel better about myself. I was in a journey which I was trying to lose weight, grow my hair, feel good. But I stopped for a long time. I totally gave up. But now finally I can feeel like I still have hope. Also I'm going to go college this year. I have no clue about what I wanna do. And you make me feel like "You know what? You can always change your mind. It's not the end of the world after all." Thank you so much. You helped a lot of people here. I really hope you're doing well.

[@chocomaribel]

In the end, what matters is that you're at peace, you're happy and you're content.

[@carabrock4535]

Oh my god I just can’t wait for your future films. I’m inspired you can even track your personal life strive for health and create such awesome content. WHILE HAVING CAREER GOALS.

[@hildaelson4203]

This kind of person should be praised and seen as heroin, not those super power, ranting youngsters. We need more of this.

[@babybelcheese2906]

P Narenpithak *heroine!!!! heroin is a drug

[@007greysgirl]

P Narenpithak ok boomer

[@jackward770]

How's that relevant

[@sandra-bo2gl]

i love this but its just taking foreveeeer to finish the series

[@viannccaa]

Sandy ! Yess 😞

[@cocoowen8691]

I dont think its going to end, its journey

[@iclaimthisname9767]

Well, glowing up never really ends :)

[@geraldinedorville]

@Coco Owen She did say it had an end. In the last episode (if I’m not wrong), she said we were almost half way through

[@Megha486]

Its about her journey to her glow up :) I don't think it should be restricted to a couple episodes! ❤️

[@artlover4997]

This is the best and most inspiring glow up! You are honest about how you can fall back so many times and how it is also hard when your family does not have the same struggles with food but your mom tells you to loose weight. All this I completely relate to as well. I kept thinking weight loss all the time but ever since you talked about being healthy instead and listening to what your body needs I now find myself enjoying food once again rather than just restricting and starving myself.

[@hiperson8972]

For all the people complaining about the length of the video, she already said in the beginning of the series that this is for her to reflect on, so can we just appreciate this no matter the length of the video, and for people who thinks that she has a eating disorder please keep in mind that this all was 1 year ago and right now she has made a healthy relationship with food and is happy with herself

[@likeeReality]

Ok but now I am confused...isn't episode 12 still missing?

[@bookisland6515]

Ellie Johnson but... what’s the point of skipping if it’s chronological? sounds pretty dumb to me 😳 but she can do what she wants it is her channel haha

[@likeeReality]

@Ellie Johnson Ok okay good to know, thank you :) My last update was that she wanted to post it right after the 13th because of the lack of creativity, so I was wondering if she just forgot.

[@nightsilvermoon6653]

It was supposed to come out first week of January 🙄

[@vaishnavisah9606]

It's been a while now that I've been sitting in my room and writing your beautiful quotes from Instagram. I feel soo inspired now, and very confident. While doing this I feel me being happy from my heart and it feels really ticklish in my stomach, it's a great feeling which made me do something good for me... Love you alivia. ❤iam leaving my anxiety back , and giving it to the past me..

[@khushishah7106]

I usually never comment on videos but I'm gonna do this. Alivia, first of all, thanks for being such a huge inspiration and motivation to me and to thousands of your other viewers. I've been here since the glow up Diaries started, and seeing you struggle through problems, let them be weight loss problems, life problems or just a random tiff with your mom, it all made me realize that I wasn't alone and that I could overcome my problems, just how you did, if I kept going. I wanted to (and still sometimes want to) give up so bad but I kept going on, bc somehow seeing you go through it all, made me realize that we need to do it ourselves, make mistakes, learn from them and keep moving forward. I'd legit lost all hope in myself after something happened two years ago, but you made me realize, that the problem is never bigger than us. Thank you 💗

[@Ella-em1hp]

Thank you so much for this series. I am so grateful to feel like someone who I never know or will never meet shares the same struggles as me. It is refreshing and a reminder that we are all human. Thanks for being brave and vulnerable enough to share with the world. You are an inspiration to all of us!

[@antratoporkova9522]

Alivia: brakes an umbrella. Song: Why does it hurt so bad, so baaad

[@cuttostah]

This series was good but I just get more stressed looking at her being so stressed and worried about her lifestyle so I guess imma log out of here

[@cartoonedits7796]

Shreya Suhani because that's the harsh truth honey. if you were searching for the easy lie you are free to go anytime

[@tREXrules27]

Thank you for this series! Very important for people, especially our age, to see the struggles of the journey and that it’s hard and normal. Thanks for the vulnerability! Keep up the good work!

[@tesscheng2239]

u inspire me on a whole other level. unlike other influencers, u show ur imperfections and show ur followers that it’s okay to not be perfect. i love you and will continue to support u ❤️

[@polahoszowska48]

this series made me realise how much we don’t appreciate what we have. my biggest goal and dream for couple years now is to become flexible and get my splits down, i’ve always wanted it but around 4 months ago i told myself imma freaking do it and started stretching literally every day for an hour. there’re ups and downs, but even tho i‘m seeing big progress - i’m not there yet. there’s so many moments in my life when i see all of those flexible girls on social media and just feel so bad and thinking that life is unfair. but hey, that all was hard work. you can’t even imagine how much i’d like to be as flexible as you are. we all have dreams and things we wanna change in ourselves. but don’t give up & appreciate what you have, because i feel like you only see bad sides of yourself. i love u and remember to keep going, because i am and i’m not gonna stop. (hope i’ll get my splits someday, ahhhh)

[@xo_asiah2964]

I respect ur hustle...I like that u have goals and work hard to achieve them. Don’t ever let comparison be your counsel. I feel as though ur weight journey is more of an internal conflict. Even if u were to get the ideal body or the body weight. Would u be happy? Or would it only be temporary? I don’t think u should focus so much on what u eat ( yes u should stay healthy ) but focus more on loving urself. Take the time to figure out why am I so obsessed with losing weight? Why does my body affect me so much? Find the root of it ya know. And solve it. Bc u r definitely a problem solver. And give urself credit. There are so many ppl who don’t do anything to better themselves an then there’s u😂 complete opposite. I don’t watch all ur videos but when I do find them to be very interesting. This comment was not intended to tell u how to live ur life. But just a suggestion.

[@catrinsirett-evans7887]

I love to see how happy and fulfilled you’ve become

[@luoc3809]

This series is my go-to for working out every morning, so raw, interesting and human, im glad someone was brave enough to show this side of life

[@gloryeve229]

"Progress is what makes you feel alive" well said !

[@22lighter]

Hi ! My name is Fleur (flower in french!), I'm 14yo and I live in France. During quarantine, i fixed myself a goal : lose enough weight to feel good in my own body, to improve my mindset and just feel happier! I started to eat healthier for like 3 weeks ago, I already lose weight (i'm with my grandparents and my parents during this lockdown) and my family noticed it. I am SO FUCKING PROUD of myself. I'm not gonna stop now. I want to return to school being a new person, a better me. Some ppl can understand how it is to being judged when you're not feeling good in your body. And I felt it E-VE-RY DAY. I just wanna prove to me, to my friends, to my family (to everyone!) that i'm able to become what I want ! I'm not giving up, i'll update u guys of my achievements! I love me

[@Louise_raconte]

Bon courage à toi crois en toi c'est le plus important et ne soit pas trop dure avec toi même !!✨💛

[@Brianna_Marie]

I love this series so much. Everything about it is realistic and helpful, just so inspiring to me.

[@sanjana3273]

Can I just say how much you changed my life. I just can't believe 6 months ago I was so demotivated, I couldn't focus on anything, I was neglecting knowledge, thinking bad about my self, my body, my everything. Not having good relations with my family. Then I just realized that you can still change yourself. The thing you call "coming out of the comfort zone" is just like "forcing yourself" and you can't achieve anything unless you come out of your comfort zone. Today am really happy that I found your KZbin channel it just came as a saviour for me. I am in my best form and I just want to thank you so much you are an amazing inspiration for many people out there. Although I have a lot to achieve but this is what life is. Thank you so much💜

[@mia-ug3sh]

yesterday a saw all the diaries at once again and now this i love them

[@happylife5751]

Hello my friend...

[@urbbylin]

This video just made my day but in the end I was like “is it finished yet?? :((“

[@Makedah.]

Literally watching you and you showing your struggle makes me feel like I’m not the only one that goes though these and makes me feel like I can relate to you a lot

[@peachybuttcookies9282]

I’ve been watching your videos for 2 days straight now and you have no idea how hard it still is to push through my depression, your journey gives me hope thank you:)

[@giannamilo216]

I really really hope, since these videos are from the past, alivia has finally come to terms with what she was dealing with: an eating disorder, not a "bad lifestyle" or "bad habits" and got therapeutic help to deal with it, instead of trying to do it all on her own (which, by the way, is typical for people with eating disorders, the feeling you are on your own with your problems and emotions and should not or cannot ask for support. Then sometimes dealing with your emotions through food or weight loss seems the only way. Get healthy, get support from a professional if you are struggling with your body image or over/under eating.)

[@sabnicmat]

these videos are so precious to me that I try not to just click as soon as I see a new one is up. Its such a motivation to me to get a few things done and then finally get to watch it !!!! Meteor garden was my motivation to start studying Chinese btw hahaha I kinda sense that helped with your itch for Asia!

[@christineabsay8591]

Honestly you motivate me so much to keep working out sometimes when you are not seeing results you lose motivation your videos help me alot

[@saynababdikarim1261]

Your so strong man, we believe in you just stay strong!

[@moonsage.art.studio]

I really love the part where you said that "you're never the one who follow rules".... I always feel bad for not continuing my degree, as it is as what people expect us to do .. PS. I love your videos Alivia..You are far one of my most favourite and the best young KZbinr I ever came across in KZbin..Lots of love :)

[@clarissabeard6098]

Bruh why is this like a whole tv show. I cannot wait for the next episode

[@seaworthysleeper]

I'm 26 now; it's been interesting hearing your stresses and insecurities because I remember feeling all that so vividly and I still sometimes fall into that when I'm having a bad day. It will get better and easier.

[@innymmiinymeeinnymoony5226]

Yes!Another episode!I really appreciate we can see what you struggled with before you came to a beautiful place you are now💕

[@tinitaboom1475]

We love a realistic and honest Alivia. I totally understand your feelings and kinda have some of the same. Thank you for your videos. Please stay as honest as possible.

[@yaelrar.4460]

You are not fat. Your body looks great. Just be healthy.

[@kurocreationss]

"just be healthy"

[@nadeastarr8272]

Did you even watch the video? 😂

[@cherrycoke3665]

It’s definitely not that easy.

[@CJ-df7gf]

@Rahima Hussain i dont think they mean "be healthy instantly" but rather "aim at just being healthy, not on losing weight"

[@jackward770]

Being healthy is easy. Consume nutritionlly dense foods, these are fundamentallt high quality animal foods; grass fed meat, organs, eggs, wild fish and raw diary.

[@ellapatella2574]

i absolutely love that you recorded the ups AND the downs. you are very brave. and your editing? its amazing.. 💗🥺👏

[@cocojens5477]

ahhh i can’t wait! i’m glad you’re doing what makes you happy

[@user-zc8zo3kx3k]

Hey Alivia I just wanted to say that you were the only person who inspired me to loose weight and made me complete my goal healthy and successful I truly look up to you and your mindset. You really are the one of the greatest humans

[@lc-do5eo]

very happy for you😊 hopefully i meet my goals too

[@user-zc8zo3kx3k]

I am sure you will 🕊💪🏻

[@sof_trackbeast]

This should be a Netflix series, the editing is amazing, and the videos are so inspirational

[@aims698]

i can’t even begin to tel you how much you’ve inspired me and continue to do so...💞thank you ...

[@angelali3391]

Note from a 18-year-old Taiwanese girl who’s studying in US now: Alivia you’re beautiful the way you are and you would not believe how much this series had changed my life. I was in US since high school and struggled, trembled, hated my life, my body image before. Nothing is ‘perfect’ even now, but I have developed so much and grew so much more than I ever expected 4 years before I landed here, and it was all because I found out about this series and started to learn about myself. And I’m so happy that you may be coming to Taiwan!!!!!

[@f.d.5173]

I thought this was gonna be about her dropping out...

[@mayakern5876]

Lifesum isn't the best thing for everyone tbh

[@nohemicamberos9620]

Gurl, I don't even have words to describe what I've been feeling through all these series, I haven't been that identified with any content creator, you're so inspiring and hope you keep sharing with us all those beautiful messages you've learned through this process. ❤️✨

[@sarahweber6212]

I’ve been struggling with bingeing and trying to create a healthy relationship with food and myself. What you’ve documented and put out there so far has really resonated with me. I’m excited to see the rest of your journey and how you found a good relationship with yourself and food. I think some people who watch this just forget that you’re documenting your journey and that what they’re watching was in the past. But you’re trying. And I’m thankful for your series because it has inspired me and helped me keep my head up. It’s hard. Hope you’re okay and hope to see another video soon :)

[@esparzaxenia]

Imagine being in the future and not having to wait for a glow up Diary to be posted. 😔

[@Alexa-cr1vy]

I love the comments about how she shouldn't try to be active or healthy just because she is 18. So much hate on her trying to have a goal and achieve a positive lifestyle... ridiculous.

[@Mgm2603]

I came across your "How glowing up ruined my life" video and that was the first time I saw your video and I could not stop.. I have been binge-watching your entire playlist of Glow up Diaries and wanted to say that I am so very proud of you for doing all of it.. Till now, What I saw was you working for what you wanted constantly, ups and downs were there but the best part is you figuring everything on your own and trying to be the best version of yourself!.. I love your editing, content everything!! I don't know how you managed to record and edit so perfectly. I don't have words to express how much I fell in love with your content in a day! I am learning so many things from your videos, life related, motivation related, weight-loss related, relationship with food, and a lot more. Love your journal edits in between explaining your perspective. Love how your content is actual TRUTH and covers all the ups and downs as it is! You did not add any filter on your content and spoke from heart which is amazing! I wish I came across your channel sooner, cuz my life had been different but I am glad I came across it now. It is going to change how I look at everyday stuff. Lots of love! Keep up the great work!!

[@pqahatta]

i always wanna cry every time you give advices. i am way too emotional. i love you alivia !!!

[@nathaliadiogo7537]

We all here waiting for the " How I learned to love myself the way I am" episode 💜 No shade, I just wished you'd see yourself the way we do, a brilliant and beautiful girl

[@subashineee]

Wait what about episode 12??

[@subashineee]

It's ok take your time posting updates, take care of yourself! Your content's been really inspiring, I love you 💕

[@kathrynrhodes7785]

I really appreciate how you don’t just show the ups and end it with I lost weight. But you show that but you show the multiple struggles of gaining it back and all the emotional struggles that come with that. That’s where I’ve been at the last few years. It’s so easy to hate on yourself when you get in the best shape of your life and then something happens and you lose all your progress and gain more weight then you have in your life. I’m really enjoying your videos and I find it very relatable. I really love how you actually (and still are) documenting and showing EVERYTHING. Not like (not that there is anything wrong with that but I don’t find it as helpful), weight loss stories where they are at bottom and their weight and lose it all the end. And some people can keep it up linearly, but that’s not the majority of us. You can lose weight, but you can also gain it back and goes both ways. And also you’re in my age group.

[@raghadfalah9142]

I just want you to know that i watch you videos every single day and every time i watch them i always have that feeling of power and motivation ! Thank you so much girl ❤️ Your mind is my goal 💗🤦🏼‍♀️

[@ella-may1493]

When she starts the video I always think Previously on the next step..... (only brits will understand) great video xxx Good luck on ur journey xxxxx

[@Dee-be4fk]

Hahaha lol I get it

[@ella-may1493]

pink-unicorn sparkle yessss

[@camembertfanpage]

aaaa I'm German can you explain? 😅

[@ella-may1493]

Sanja La Lasagna there’s a kids tv show called the next step that used to be really popular and every episode started with .... previously on the next step

[@georgia957]

Brits I am Australia and I understand the next step I loved that show and it was filmed in Canada I think so Canadian as well

[@angelangelina7206]

I don't know what motivates or encourages me to eat healthy other than alivia. Seriously u changed my life and thank you for that. 💕

[@amira7310]

Awww Alivia thank you so much for making these videos we really appreciate it you have helped so many people whether it be with weight loss or mental help we really are grateful for your efforts! Thank you so much for all that you have given us if you ever feel down or sad just know that we are with you and that we will always support you! Also dont feel to pressured when youre uploading we know that you must be busy and have a lot of stuff going on we love you so much

[@HaLe-fn5jg]

inspirational. I'm 27 and my relationship with food and my own body fluctuates, but every time I watch your videos, it really opened my eyes to really appreciate how far I've accomplished on other things besides focusing on my imperfections. You keep doing you girl!

[@naimadelafeunte9165]

Actualy People in the Gym didn't care how ur body looks like because everyone think that everyone is there because they want to get fit .. U might think People are watching u but Actualy that Person looking at you that Person is just looking at u but Actualy thier Mind is not on You it happen to me all the time staring at some1 while my thoughs are on my nxt excirse

[@kaileighstoia3834]

Hey Alivia! So, I have an eating disorder. (OSFED) This is an eating disorder that it still very dangerous and detrimental to your health...it just does not fit into the anorexic, bulimic, or pure binge eating categories. It is for those that have aspects of each or a few of them. As someone that has gone through treatment, I want to suggest to you that you go and see someone that can diagnose you and/or be specialized in disordered eating. I’ve noticed that you have a very harsh mindset about yourself and you very openly shame yourself when you binge. The problem is, when you crave a binge, your body needs something that you are not getting. Salads will not maintain or sustain you and your amount of exercise. Ive noticed a lot of the things I used to do within in you and I wonder if my reality might possibly be yours. It might not seem serious right now, but I assure you that disordered eating can turn into a full blown eating disorder really quick. Please consider talking to a professional, I know how much it’s helped me be emotionally and physically healthy and I want that for you too. I hope you can find peace and joy within yourself! -Kaileigh

[@LudmorHun]

Hi Alivia! Your journey is really inspiring, especially because you are so honest with the imperfect points in it. I've chosen my guiding word for 2020 to be 'Glow-up' because of your series, thank you! I need to polish my glow both inside and outside. I am right now in the horror of realizing how much the holiday binging and avoiding the gym since november set my progress back. But I'm trying my best to frame it as if this was the extreme, and the norm is me exercising and eating well - otherwise I would feel like it is a futile fight. Let's keep going!

[@Sincerelyheba]

Comparing is the worst thing. I have my fair share of trying to change everything I have done in a day. It's so hard to change habits you've been doing your whole life. Thank you for this.

[@x0babiiray0x]

This series is just too relatable, I’m addicted. You’re so talented!!!!

[@youmatter2231]

These diaries lowkey remind of the tv show The Carrie Diaries(it’s a really good show and sort of a prequel to Sex and the City!)

[@maryamyusuf660]

OMG yess! I agree too but don't know what about it gives me that vibe. I was so sad when The Carrie Diaries got cancelled

[@martinaluna6260]

You're actually one of the biggest reason why im trying to glow up.i used to be 75kg but then i started watching your videos,you inspired me a lot.my current weight is 59 kg.still a lot but im still working on it.its really hard to change yourself but then it feels good when you are improving and when you're becoming the better version of yourself.