10 Therapy Questions to Get to the Root of the Problem

[@kaydeebug24]

1) How often do you get to meet up with friends? (need for attention and community) 2) Can you and your partner really talk together? (attention and intimacy) 3) How are you sleeping these days? (mind body connection) 4) Are you happy with your diet? (mind body connection) 5) How much exercise are you getting? (mind body connection) 6) Is there anyone who you feel really understands you, and is close to you? (intimacy) 7) What choice do you have about what happens in your life? (control and security) 8) Do you have a clear sense of where you want to take things in life? (purpose, what gets me out of bed in the morning) 9) Do you feel excited by stuff in your life? (challenge purpose meaning) 10) What involvement do you have with people around you? (community and status)

[@NikhilMathew122333]

no no no no no no no no no no can i get a genuine advice?

[@gepisar]

Im same as @Nikhil K ... 1) Never, 2) No Partner, Sleep fine, but only at the point of exhaustion, diet - ambivalent, no exercise, no one understands!, no choices - at the whim of life, no purpose, no goals, no motivation, no intent, i actually dread excitement - the heart pounds too much and i really dont like that - i prefer the baseline these days, and no involvement except randomly leaving comments on youtube videos - so, thats about the last 10 years...

[@IMVOLDERMORT]

No friends, no partner, I skip alot of meals, I don't exercise, maybe one person understands me but they are fading away due to a relationship, no, no ,no ,no ,no

[@vk-wm2hx]

Hi Actually i need to take my cousin fo therapist fr mental il ess but she is not accepting....is der any mental helath assessment chart and score....to show her and make her understand that she need therapist

[@claddaghclare22]

Really helpful. Thanks.

[@jeffkoe310]

I.T. Professionals say, “Always check the Simplest possibilities first. Is the computer plugged in? Are the wires all firmly connected?” It saves so much time.

[@0ddSavant]

That checks out. Carry on.

[@Takezo.D.Shinmen]

Totally true, the number of times printers are just not plugged in is unbelievable.

[@marquessitsolutions7524]

Haha I had to say it

[@_DeadlyNightshade_]

"Have you tried turning it on and off again" - IT Crowd

[@christinesharland8478]

Loved this. So simple but thats where we go wrong because we often go to the most complex issue first. How many times do people question where they may have left their glasses worrying which shops and whose car they been in. All the time theyre on your head. Ha ha. Im not insulting anyone here..... but we may say we feel lonley and dont go out, well perhaps start with something small if it all seems overwhelming... Walking groups or voulnteering etc No one will knock on our door asking to be a friend sadly..

[@chriszone50]

I was depressed, I still am, I used to focus on different things but it took me years to identify and prioritise my primal needs and this video clarifies it. I find that I don't meet a lot of these targets but am enthusiastic to working on them.

[@gusgrizzel8397]

Do something hard. Learn programming. Learn an instrument. Learn a song. Draw something. Do mathematics. Doing something hard, and even conquering it 50% will give you something you cannot buy.

[@TomTomDam]

​@@gusgrizzel8397 I'd like to add something to your statement. I would say do something new, but start small. Then, gradually raise the difficulty over time so that you are improving, and at the same time, you still enjoy doing it.

[@trillionaireman9016]

How are you doing now?

[@boxy_brxden6659]

Hey are you doing better now?

[@kashamkeltuma]

How are you doing now?

[@ShazWag]

He's got it spot on. I can categorically say that I have none of these things, which would explain my deep depression and why I feel no point in continuing the intense, never-ending pain. I feel totally trapped.

[@rafeeqwarfield9690]

Yeah, sounds miserable. Sounds like hell on earth. I would probably feel even worse if I categorically had none of these. Whew that would be too much 😵‍💫

[@StrongScholar]

you got this!! let me know if you ever want to talk

[@matthewnorris203]

I get it man. I’m sorry you’re feeling trapped.

[@challo8067]

You are the lock. AND the key!!!

[@christinesharland8478]

We cant get out if weve lost the ability to even try. It all comes down to being proactive. And thats not always easy... Think small if you feel overwhelmed..... We dont start practicing for a marathon with a 20 mile run....when i first went to salsa lessons i was terrified... but we give oursleves so many expectations. I felt that id be rubbish and wouldnt know what i was doing, but how could I when id never done it before.... And no one is looking at us as theyre too busy focusing on what theyre doing....!! We are just self conscious.... Confidence can often come fom achieving smal goals

[@lynnewilson7299]

When I've been in therapy, I was never asked any of these sorts of questions and always felt something was missing. Now I know why! Thinking back to my counselling training I don't remember being taught to ask this either, not in the way you explain. Seems so obvious and fundamental, like "have you plugged in your computer"?

[@lenoredavi6137]

Yes! Context is so important. Answering these questions could save many people from incorrect diagnosis and unhelpful treatments. ❤

[@thomasreinhardt619]

These are valuable questions. However, sometimes negative answers (like having no friends etc.) are symptoms of deeper issues: WHY does that person not have someone to talk to? When you follow that trail, your client and you might unearth dysfunctional beliefs, attachment problems or even traumatic events. Used like that, these questions can jump start a therapeutic process. All the best to everyone!

[@alissamae670]

What if my answers to all the questions are negative

[@doreengayer5723]

Very insightful and love your calm way of speaking it helps put one in a peaceful state of mind!!

[@kenitcimm3467]

Makes things so clear and matter of fact.

[@ianboys1000]

I think this is great and matches what I've asked - SERP, Sleep, Exercise, Relationships, Purpose. Too often purpose is overlooked.

[@hana5400]

Hey Mark, I'm Hanan, a graduate student of school psychology from Indonesia. I just wanna say that this channel is amazing! I plan to watch all of your videos to learn more about counseling. Thank you so much!

[@aasif4594]

1) How often you meet your friends? 2) How you are sleeping these days ? 3) Are you happy with your diets ? 4) Do you have clear sense of where your life is going ? 5) Do you feel excited when you wakeup? 6) Can you and your partner talk to each other? 7) How much exercise are you getting these days? 8) What choices do you have in life? 9) Do you feel excited by the stuff in your life? 10) What involvement do you have with people around you?

[@PaulBaird]

Question 5 is completely wrong - it should be Who are you close to that really understands you ?

[@gusgrizzel8397]

Unless you are a millionaire, why would you be excited about going to work every day? It's called work for a reason.

[@gusgrizzel8397]

All of those questions are a set up to make you feel like your life is boring.

[@PaulBaird]

Gus Grizzel - do you think your life is boring based on your responses to the questions ?

[@gusgrizzel8397]

@@PaulBaird I would not ask someone those questions. They are a set up to make someone feel like they have "a bad life".

[@animezae]

Intro til around 5:45. Questions begin at 5:47

[@rockchick0367]

You are so kind and soft spoken. It’s relaxing just listening to your voice.

[@A_Jel]

Brilliant, thank you. There’s magic in questions-they seem to always elicit an inner search and that’s valuable in any setting.

[@shelleycharlesworth5177]

GREAT video-! I'm applauding from San Diego! BRAVO to you!

[@mpeel3581]

This man is so insightful and has helped me immensely!

[@rajkamalaarya75]

Small talk 1. How often do you get to meet your friends?. ( Attention/community) 2. Can you and your partner really talk to the together. (Attention/intimacy) 3. Have you sleeping these days. (Mind/body connection) 4. Are you happy with your diet .(Mind/body connection) 5. How much exercise you are getting.(Mind/body connection) 6. Is there anyone in your life that you feel understand you.( Mind/Body connection) 7. What choice you have about what happens in our life.( Control/security) 8. Do you have a clear sense the way you want to take things in the life. ( Meaning/ purpose) 9. Do you feel excited by the life.( Challenge/ Purpose/ Meaning) 10. What involvement you have with people around you.( Comment/ status).

[@jyotikavarmani4454]

A very insightful analogy of the car and the fuel sir. Thank you so much for presenting us with such simple yet powerful questions that will really prevent us from overlooking the obvious!

[@stardavies6202]

Awesome Love the way you put these VITAL questions. The need for these needs begins in childhood (they are not wants but deep natural needs) and if a child's needs are not met they will usually go into the unconscious and may come out in the child and or grown up as manipulating others or as illness to get them because cannot ask for what we need for fear ec & are for many reasons and we may never know that we can ask or if learn how we can provide these needs for ourselves once we know we can & that we are worth and that we are entitled to them We have so much to learn and to heal Thank You for being part of the solutions & the Healing energy on this planet Big Blessings Thank YOU Thanks to the person who listed them Bless You too

[@browneyedscientist4528]

Thank you! I will use these questions going forward.

[@kristine3076]

Thank you, I am going to go to counseling and was wondering what I could expect when I go. This helps

[@KingoftheJuice18]

I hope you found someone good. Therapists are very different.

[@Nyx773]

I hope things worked out. Unfortunately, very few therapists will actually ask these seemingly obvious questions and will follow through. In my experience, 2 out of 12 success rate.

[@diamond_gypsy7452]

some of these questions felt like closed questions, some not though! I did really enjoy this, thank you.

[@David-gv3wx]

In my opinion, some closed questions are fine, particularly at an intake session when the counsellor is really trying to learn basic facts about the client. Indeed, sometimes even necessary. Too many closed questions though are not good as it comes across as an interrogation.

[@ghazalaali8342]

Hi just seen this video I am a level 4 trainee counsellor, and I feel this will help me with my sessions with my peers, than I can be signed off for my training. I have difficulty engaging with the client and keeping the time limit to 50 minutes. I hope I get better at this, Thank you for the upload.

[@trisha3856]

Returning to the counseling profession s/p a multi year hiatus, these videos, this channel, and YOU are EXACTLY what I needed! From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

[@mosheglick295]

This is fantastic, thank you for sharing ❤

[@Justbeingoutside]

I answered no to every question. No wonder why things are a mess in my life. Smh. Literally NO to each one. But ty

[@beverleycarpenter8481]

Fantastic resource. Great video. I know in part about the damage done when our basic needs aren't met, but hadn't given much thought to make meeting the primal needs a priority. I am enthusiastic to paying attention to my clients' fuel gauge. Thanks

[@preetidhingra8443]

Simply Loved the content and your presentation Mark. God bless you 🙏🙏

[@vicvic3819]

I've made notes and I'm going to dictate this material on my smartphone with my voice to ensure it becomes part of my knowledge quicker. Lifesaving stuff indeed. Thank you!

[@yelojakit]

Great video. Very helpful to getting the conversation started about clients and their basic emotional needs. I've been a follower of Uncommon Practitioners for awhile and I'm glad to have the videos as a resource for becoming a better clinician for those I serve.

[@roseseeno2557]

This is a great video. I plan to use your ideas in this video and your others with my clients.

[@MrNiceHk]

Wonderful, thank you

[@PNWmorganite]

This is excellent!! Thank you! 💖

[@mindfulwebsolutionsiprivat1281]

This video is really helpful for therapists struggling in this area!

[@deanneharrall1241]

Thanks for that video, my husband died two years ago, although I’ve moved on and making the best of life, I sometimes feel sad and not sure of myself, what this video has taught me, is I have to look and see what I’m not doing to make my life more fulfilling, as you say, “look for possible reasons or “fuel in the tank” and the one that came across was I’m not having enough friends. This insight has made me more aware, that I can feel more positive and has put a more prospective on my feelings. Thanks again Deanne

[@rajkamalaarya75]

The Primal needs 1. To give and receive attention 2. To heed the mind body connection 3. Need for meaning in our lives 4. Need to make feel connected to community and making a contribution 5. Need for Challenge and creative 6. For intimacy 7. Need for a sense of Control and status. 8. Need for a safety and security in life.

[@gabsradience1]

Loved this❤️❤️used this for my own self help session thank you mark!!

[@thefanceman]

very enlightening. thank you!

[@pppp67567]

Great video, thank you!

[@cecbkk]

I really do enjoy your videos and I am studying counselling now to become one ;) it helps a lot

[@Alexmclaren748]

Thank you so much ❤

[@indigobreathart]

Genius!!! Thank you!

[@cakesinthecity]

Thank you so much for helping us budding therapists 🙏🏽

[@Medietos]

Libra Status: Don't you get the help you need in the therapist-training???Although Teachers' Training education was not good at teaching us how to teach either.The only really good lessons were 3 days of Pedagogic Drama, giving us direct psycho-social experiences that enhanced human understanding, by a very live, warm, mature elderly pedagogue. He was able to teach lying on the floor, because he was so saturated with integer presence of mind and knew what he was doing (and why, of course). These questions could be used as essay-material by teachers in messy classes with many sabotaging pupils. That might solve it: both giving them this attention and letting them express their problems.

[@GR_BackingTracks]

Attention, Community, intimacy, MindBody, Control and Security Challenge, Purpose, Meaning, Status

[@joethecounselor]

The Primal Human Needs! There are 9. I go over these frequently with my clients. Here's the link! www.hypnosisdownloads.com/blog/the-primal-human-needs

[@PriscillaNeill]

Brilliant man!

[@peterreed9566]

In therapy I listen to each question very carefully and think about whether I'm want to answer that specific question. If I'm happy to answer I think extremely carefully how I'll answer ensuring that my answer is a closed response even to open question. However in this case the only question I'd be prepared to answer is how am I sleeping, but I wouldn't answer any of the other questions as I'm don't believe they are any of the therapists business. By doing this I maintain control.

[@samueladams3213]

very insightful. Do you have any book recommendations on this subject

[@emersonbartholomew9562]

Advanced techniques in psychotherapy was a good one

[@kylemedeiros6907]

I just read your article online. Great stuff! It's going to influence my clinical work.

[@politicsfullcircle5989]

How is there not more comments on here... this is awesome stuff to help you connect with the people around you, your close family.

[@annabella9039]

Very well said. We tend to overlook these factors, especially in the medical world. I do want to ask, do sociopaths/psychopaths have basic emotional needs if they are said to be emotionless? The world “all” people made me question these things.

[@annabella9039]

Word*

[@ralfwashington1502]

Exercise won't cure the heart of your problems but the feeling you get after REALLY does help your mood. Once you start working out you want to see it so you cut out some foods and eat better. Then you start to notice numbers on the scale going down. Then you notice more stamina, then more muscle definition. You don't need to look like Arnold or the chick from biggest looser. You need to sweat though and actually feel tired afterwards. Focus on that and you WILL feel the amazing things your brain releases. Plus if you are mad you can channel that anger into fuel to lift with. Don't worry about getting skinny. Just get your sweat on higher intensity stuff. (Talk to your doctor first. I'm NOT a doctor or phycologist and won't be held liable to any injuries you get or if you drop of a heart attack)

[@newfnshow031]

Skip to 5:52

[@jb3344]

could you do some videos on how to address each deficit?

[@howcomeihavesubs]

Yes I also want to rqst

[@denisebenison]

very helpful!

[@Luke-pd7xj]

I often find that my therapists are too soft with me. They say I’m a great person and say that I’m improving but that’s not what I need to hear. I have terrible social skills and have lots of room for improvement, so I wish they could just be upfront and tell me what I’m doing that could use improvement instead of beating around the bush.

[@ivyu5679]

OMG……every question I was like, ok, stop asking,I already know my answer sucks when I hear the question 🤣

[@115-o4c]

Useful video but I don't like that it takes 5:44 to get to the actual questions. IMO a 1-2 minute intro would be enough.

[@nihilisticmonkeydancing9806]

true true

[@anonymousa3793]

it s true that stress.. bad habits..junk foods..poor lifestyles contribute to illnesses

[@Lily-uh5qj]

Very very helpful questions. I'm asking myself now...

[@mano9764]

thank you💕

[@antoinette4995]

Brilliant information, thank you

[@marquessitsolutions7524]

Always check the simplest possibilities first. Is the computer plugged in? Are the wires all firmly connected?

[@shrutishravaavashishtha8777]

Thank you! This was so useful!!!

[@ThePossumone]

Yes go to the SIMPLE things first 💯 Check your fuel levels! Are you drinking too much caffeine Not getting enough sleep Not walking or exercising

[@zoecoleclough9121]

Im on my level 3 of counselling and i have found this really helpful thank you

[@jazzgearty5439]

Hi Zoe im currently level 3 and swinging on a weekly basic what I want to do to do next out of level 4 or something else but wish I knew what the something else could look like? Feeling a bit lost…..how is level 4? Did you chose the right placement?

[@stormlewis5214]

Thanks for making this video.

[@BibleJourneyMinistries]

I'm a counselor-in-training. However, you spoke directly into my life with all of my current issues that I need to overcome.

[@benmulligan4168]

Thank you. Life is simple.

[@MelliaBoomBot]

Fab, a holistic approach.

[@nicoeffem3483]

Thank you Mark - another useful and timely video

[@Filosophie29]

Amazing video, thank U very much :)

[@jmfs3497]

I'm thankful this video was recommended to me. I'm working with a narcissist and realize that the blocking of primal needs is a huge emotional frustration/demoralization for me. Lifestyle patterns have been an unhealthy coping mechanism with mind/body connection.

[@pepshaven6520]

Skip to 5:44 if you want to avoid the endless waffle and get to the actual questions.

[@marciaanzur3611]

Thanks!

[@Mushroom321-]

"Endless Waffle" 😂

[@counselingwithcrafts8199]

Wonderful! I work with children but I go through a similar line of questioning.

[@jaiocchialini1420]

Counselor Wolfe you’re absolutely beautiful as well!

[@counselingwithcrafts8199]

Jada Bright Thank you!!

[@roseseeno2557]

Thanks for your excellent videos. Plan to apply your ideas and experiences in my practice. rS Lcsw

[@RiverseaYT]

What should I do after answering these questions?

[@moviemania1782]

I am greatful that i found u , i am needing serious help

[@kirstysewell367]

Really wish I could get some REAL help. My Gp doesn't take mental health very seriously. I binge eat pretty much everyday. I was abused as a child and was given a number to call. They said they couldn't help. When people say there is help out there I'm still to see it. Doctors are so quick to diagnose depression but not to help

[@whitneyshea8580]

Are you able to find a therapist online?

[@zelastjoker]

Were you able to get the help you needed?

[@Luv4Turbo]

Psychology Today is a great resource for finding a therapist in your area who specializes in whatever issues you are experiencing.

[@ghazalaali8342]

Please try to get the help, of course it will help you. Change your doctor or report your doctor if you are not taken seriously. No doctor today's time and age should neglect their patient. If you can afford the counselling sessions find a counsellor online. Never think you are alone, don't let anyone put you down you were strong enough to mention on here about yourself well done, please get help.

[@susantompkins4254]

Thank you for this very much appreciate

[@loriegallagher6724]

Love this video, the ten questions were helpful.

[@Tinyteacher1111]

This was very helpful. Sometimes the obvious is right in front of our faces. Would you be able to recommend a therapist in Michigan while deals with chronic pain, spirituality and family issues? Thanks!!

[@rafasounds-qi5rm]

If I answered these questions honestly, I'm afraid the therapist would flat out declare me a freaking lunatic

[@MrSean737]

I don't think he would

[@zelastjoker]

I'm currently making my way towards becoming a therapist. It would actually be interesting to hear your answers.

[@rafasounds-qi5rm]

@@zelastjoker If you would like to make this as an experiment, no strings attached, we could find a way to make contact.

[@karld001]

I'd like to know how he checked the timing be.t without taking the front of the engine apart 🤔

[@icanseeyouuuu]

thank you!!

[@cassandratarentino3150]

Thank you

[@zig8925]

You can tell all sorts from small talk, also through body-language. Since learning about this stuff I've felt so much more powerful (in a good way). But I also relate to Jordan Peterson now. It's depressing to see people's problems and not being able to solve them

[@youngkid4337]

Big up young tsm🔥

[@hibabouhamra9995]

than you

[@alissamae670]

Where do i go from here ?

[@ErumJaved-g2v]

Can i get handouts?

[@DearTherapist]

Very good.

[@lindsayjohnson4163]

Mine always says to me what’s the fear? Let’s unpack that . Etc

[@msfittherapist]

How to heal from Triggers within my cptsd obtained from dealing with a narcissistic sociopath for 9 years...

[@hannahyisrael4444]

what do you do when close to none of those needs are being met and you feel you have no control over havinsg them be met

[@ken4975]

I would question the list of needs at the beginning. They do not ring true to me, but what do I know? I would therefore be interested in the reasoning behind this. In particular, and perhaps ironically, I have always thought having a meaning to life was often a bit of a drawback.

[@roskvamoller6655]

currently, none of them.

[@triggabun]

Awww I am so sorry. One step at a time. I have been exercising consistently for months now. It has saved my sanity. I was just getting fatter and more unhappy. I walk about 2 hrs every day. Start there. The rest I am working on slowly. Some weeks are better than others but every little thing counts. I started by walking 2 times a week. Now I am out 5 days a week minimum. Have courage and faith.

[@janetm830]

Your voice soothes my anxiety.

[@susanleach183]

I'm waiting for an initial counselling appointment

[@davidk349]

Those are all good things, but as I grew up, the way my parents behaved made me believe I was not supposed to seek those things. When you absorb those kind of toxic messages early on, they stay with you.