Amazing Life Advice from the GREAT Gretchen Rubin

[@lydia8965]

Had to laugh/cry at Cas being thankful none of her kids are rebels. I pulled up the quiz and took it myself (obliger) and then asked my 8 year old to take it -- simplifying the questions for her. I already knew she would be either a questioner or a rebel. Two questions in she said she's done. So I told her the quiz is to help me understand how to communicate with her better. "I'm not doing it," she said. Turns out the rebel type doesn't need all 12 questions to identify.

[@TGYtco]

Same with my son! 😂

[@annajohnson4761]

Dude! This finally explains why when my hubby and I buy concert tickets for 6 months out I almost always end up going with a friend instead of him 😝Immediately buying all Gretchen's books ❤️

[@danaphillips8998]

I’m the rebel who planned a Caribbean vacation and skipped Thanksgiving one year🤣 that was too relatable. I love how this one just felt like two friends chatting and celebrating each other’s wins! The world needs more of it❤

[@karensnailstudio7171]

Ahhhhhhh omg I’m a rebel! I’m so annoying to other people hahaha. I became my own boss when I was 23 (I’m 50 now) I don’t have credit cards or any debt, I hate feeling trapped & nobody can tell me what to do 😂😂😂😂😂 I’m going to start manipulating myself into doing things with the goal of freedom! I loved the part about getting in shape to have the freedom moving forward into my later years. I find questioners so annoying hahaha! Thank you ladies, this video is amazing 🤩❤

[@toby-jeanne_almy]

This guest gets a double thumbs up from me! I love to listen as i get ready!

[@allisonc9645]

I have read all her books - how exciting for you to have her on!!! I am a tree person! I am a rebel! SO interesting.

[@carmiejones8289]

It was so fun listening to you two having so much fun together. The energy that you gave to each other...wow!

[@janelawafer7605]

I just listened to this on Apple Podcasts and came to KZbin to give it a thumbs up. I loved this interview. Y’all are the best ❤

[@EssEmmSP]

This was a fantastic podcast. I'm saving this one to watch again, and will be ordering all of her books. You two could talk for hours more, so I really hope you can have Gretchen back on. She looked like she would be happy to talk to you again.

[@elizabethsielaff3414]

What a joy to watch you and Gretchen interact! You energize each other, and we get to benefit!

[@Karen-pe6oc]

I have (and have actually read 🤣) every one of Gretchen's books. She is truly insightful and relatable, just like you Cas! Always in the back of my mind is "the days are long but the years are short." Thank you for this wonderful podcast. Love Gretchen - love you!

[@sueingledew1008]

5:57 7:52 😅😅😅0😊

[@jackiem9460]

Any other Rebels out there who despise being one? The surge of anger when someone asks you to do something is ridiculous. I try to be very kind and loving, but this part of me creates a lot of internal conflict. I've also learned over time to not commit to any event and just tell people I'll see how I feel that day before I know if I'll go or not.

[@mariemilycraig]

I'm an extremely happy Rebel, and Gretchen's books and podcast were a big part of what helped me to understand and accept myself when it comes to my instinctive resistance to expectations. Now I don't get upset anymore when people ask me or expect me to do various things, because I'm also aware of where they are coming from with respect to their own tendencies. But I know that for whatever I do, it's because I chose to do that thing - I don't jump through any hoops just because of anyone's say-so. I do things only for two reasons: because I want to (often, it's related to my love for that person, just as Gretchen explained), or because I realise that what I'm being asked to do is part of my responsibilities (as a human, a citizen, a spouse, a parent, an employee, etc). I'm an adult, so fulfilling my responsibilities is part of my identity. With this mindset, I've been able to get my life on track in a way that I couldn't even hope for before. Haven't yet got everything figured out, of course, but I now live with self-acceptance and hope when it comes to establishing good habits, whereas before I also suffered from self-loathing and despair. Gretchen didn't often used to talk about this, although she did mention it in this interview, but not all expectations are created equal. Some of them are completely unrealistic, or arbitrary, or otherwise illegitimate. We as Rebels need to lead the way in busting and debunking that kind of expectations - nobody has any business meeting those! However, other expectations in life are completely legitimate - those are the responsibilities I mentioned above, and as a Rebel I had to learn to allow myself to feel the resistance and then do what I'm supposed to anyway!! 😅 Because I want to be a responsible adult and feel proud of myself at the end of the day 😊 Really hope this helps a bit! ❤

[@rachael2261]

“…I just became a firefighter!?!” has me cracking up. Love her!

[@catsmother4556]

Wow yet another great pod cast, learning so much about myself. I am defiantly a tree. My parents are definitely not. Every 18 months or so ( it was once literally only 9 months ) we would uproot and move house. I felt fine didn’t think I had any problems or difficulty. But every move I would brake out in a physical itchy rash. My mom remembers having to do many extra bed changes and washing because my sheets were covered in blood from me scratching over night. Thankfully we stayed put in my teens. Then I left home. I have now been in the same house for nearly 40 years love it. I seam to be both a rebel and a questioner. Fascinating love it thank you.

[@TGYtco]

You two need to write a book together! How to declutter and organize for your tendency. It would help us all figure out our best way and each family members!

[@micheledaly3351]

I agree Cas, the 4 tendencies have been life-changing🥳💕🥳I was sure I was a questioner, but definitely a rebel😂 I am wondering, though, if the four tendencies, rather being innate, have any correlation to childhood trauma🤔Happiness is being a rebel😎

[@peggygibson28]

I learned about Gretchen from Cass so I love this interview!! I am an obliger and I have a rebel, upholder and 2 questioners in my house. Being the Mom Obliger can be lonely. Cass is lucky to have obliger children. ❤️

[@Maggies87]

The Tree and Book concept is going to be useful.

[@kimdavies9364]

What a sensational podcast! Thank you!

[@luipenedou]

OMG!!! WHAT A DREAMMIE EPISODE!!! I'm a fan of Gretchen because of you Cas!!! Great!! I'm going to listen to it again as soon as it finishes.

[@roxanes43]

Holy crap! All these years I thought I just sucked. Turns out I'm a super creative, generous, and freedom loving rebel. Thx for having Gretchen on the pod!!

[@courtneyharrel5500]

This is so me! Saving since I was a little girl! Y daughter has taught me your lesson. Use and enjoy it! I think growing up I thought we were poor so I’d better save everything for the right moment.

[@veragerupschou1496]

Omg this was so eye opening! Thank you for sharing this with us Cas!! I realized the reason I am able to declutter is because of a strong urge for the freedom it gives me every day! So much to learn and improve, yay! Gonna be checking out Gretchen’s work - she’s amazing! ☺️

[@Easton0914]

The minimalists Gretchen Ruben! You are having amazing guests!!

[@kdaniel6679]

WOW! Two of my favorite podcasters.😊❤❤❤

[@christinekalin3321]

Mind blown lol. Years ago I read the Happiness Project. Today I was thinking about it and considering trying it. I was searching on KZbin to see if others have recorded their experiences with it.. today she's on your podcast! Seriously.. the universe has confirmed that I need this. My question is- Can someone be 2 tendencies? I feel like I'm definitely the questioner but I definitely identified with a lot of the rebel stuff too.

[@sonjawinkler6023]

Good Question😅 me too

[@trich237]

So awesome! ❤ Gretchen Rubin! ❤ Cas!

[@micheledaly3351]

Cas, you’ve done it again❤BRAVO🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@jonelledavenport8701]

😊 good morning, excited (as always) to be sharing this time together ❤️

[@happypace9414]

The tree concept helps me understand my mother's insistence on keeping everything from the past. She is a questioner, so I think I need to combine the tree idea and the legacy list idea to begin to refine her, um, tree rings. (Do I have that right?) Can't wait for Gretchen's new books. I own most of them and am currently listening through all the podcasts (I am at episode 201!) and rereading the books I own. Feeling envious of those who have just discovered Gretchen on this podcast because everything she brings to the table is life enriching!

[@staceyo1723]

We are a family of 4 and we have 1 of each for tendencies. I need a psychology degree to figure everyone out! There’s nothing that works for everyone. UGHHHHH. My rebel son in particular makes life hard! It’s good to be reminded of the need for all types.

[@BlockbusterGirl]

I am a rebel. I can't get myself to do anything. I'm AuDHD and probably PDA is an issue too. Be the hero resonated. Maybe that's why when listening to another Clutterbug podcast where you said something about being your own hero, that felt like a great thing 😊 Also, I just put stuff in my calendar and I have to frame it as saving my time from others. 'Saving myself' definitely fits with being my own hero.

[@user-qk3ft4og3t]

Omgoodness two of my favourite authors and podcasters in one hit, awesome 👌 👏 ❤️

[@siljaabhilash5412]

All your videos are super motivational . please keep doing. you are very honest about yourself. Love you. From uk.

[@tbryan5437]

What a coup Cass!! Great interview. I want to read all her books now. I definitely see both an obligor and rebel in me. I need other people to need something from me to help me be motivated to do it, but I prefer to hear about a problem and offer to fix it over being asked or told to it.

[@Canuck_Gal]

Yes!! Exactly how I am too!!

[@ladyb5888]

I do this all the time. I have China from an Aunt, I am " saving."..FOR WHAT? Candles as gifts, wallets, Bath and Body Special lotions, cute socks. I am going to USE them and stop saving it all! 😊

[@afshirinzadeh5682]

I love that I stumbled onto both of you. I believe this is going to change my life.

[@bdazzlefromage]

One of your best podcasts yet Cas! Really fun discussion 😊

[@karenrich9092]

If you want to save your yearbooks but don't have the space, scan them on a flatbed scanner a page at a time and merge them together. You'll need Adobe Acrobat to do this, but it's worth it. I have 80+ yearbooks that fit on a thumb drive for my high school's historical website.

[@Canuck_Gal]

This is SO SO good!!! And I'm only halfway through!

[@angiegleason7857]

Loved this!❤ I follow Gretchen because of your mentioning of her and Dawn, The Minimal Mom 😊" mentioning her as well. Cas, it brought such joy to me as a faithful follower of you, to see your truly blissful countenance while interviewing Gretchen Rubin!! 🎉❤ And.... I must say, I could see how impressed she was with you!!! Incredible information Incredible insight Exuberant experience to watch. ❤❤

[@jode378]

Thanks to both of you 👏

[@thecamilleshow5415]

Cas.. I love your hair lately!

[@jessieelliott3157]

Asked my husband to do the quiz thinking hes a rebel. He refused so suspicion confirmed.

[@MissTaz33m-xy9zr]

We Need her to come back honestly!

[@tknows470]

You are two of my very favorites ❤❤❤!!!

[@celine8570]

OMG I always thought something was wrong with me, but you just helped me understand I am a book person!! 🎉😁

[@dianamcmahon51510]

I've been watching this channel for years, and I've always put myself in the cricket category. But as I look around my house, it's very visual, so now I'm thinking that my decor style is a butterfly, but my organizational style is a cricket. If that makes sense! Love ya Cass! Might have to start following Gretchen too!

[@SamCurtis-yk8cv]

I’m loving this🙌🏼. I just ordered 2 books on audible🙃. The Happiness Project and the 4 Tendencies 🙌🏼💜

[@jackiefields1607]

Love this conversation!

[@kanebrownfan1071]

Wonderful info.a great message. Eye opener for sure..

[@Aurora-Sky]

Yay! Yes, she is my hero.

[@kittenmixer812]

This was so awesome!

[@Mayfrancisxavier]

Loving this!! Most definitely a book person, probably bit of a rebel in the past but now I’m nearly 50 so not so much. I lived in countless different houses and Towns and states and continents before I got married and since I’ve been married, we have moved 10 times in 20 years to different towns, different states, different countries, different continents. At the moment we’re stuck in our house for seven years, even though it’s an amazing house so I shouldn’t say stuck but, yeah, I don’t know where we’re going to go next, LOL !

[@karacarmichael6460]

I loved this! I took the quiz and got a rebel and only half agreed with it/resisted. I have never had an issue meeting a work deadline and I was having a hard time squaring that away with the rebel label. Then I realized through your conversation that I always viewed myself as a good employee and competent person, a person who did the shitty thing because it had to get done…so I always did what I was told to uphold that view of myself 😅 it makes so much sense because I never understood why I had no issues with that, but resisted anything else in my life that I was told to do just because. I’m definitely going to have to get that book

[@thebusybees2006]

Good advice to spend out I am notorious of holding out on using my new stuff

[@findingaway5512]

I listened on Spotify.... But i wanted to say I was super excited forr you Cas!!! 😊 I know you talk about her all the time and this whole podcast was delightful and I loved hearing the energy in both your voices vibing off each other. It was great!!!! 😊

[@leanewton6758]

This was soooo great!!! Had to listen twice!! Thank you Cass!!!

[@bubba16]

When Gretchen was giving description of tendencies obliger sounds like me, i took quiz & it said i. Was obliger😊. makes so much sense. Have always wanted to please people before myself. I have my yearbooks & special items of my daughter's baby clothes 😮. Really enjoyed this one

[@claireboeck8027]

I have never fallen neatly into a category, whether it's the Five Love Languages, The Four Tendencies, the personalty types, etc. The only exception to this is the four clutterbugs. I fall neatly into the ladybug category. It's so nice to finally be able to fit into a box!

[@beckatch1323]

This is AHH-MAZING!!!!! OMG 😮my life is about to change...I'm going to become a GOAL Achieving Manipulator!!!!! 😂😂😂

[@ellie448]

Awesome!! I’ve heard you rave about her books for YEARS! For sure will start reading some of them now.

[@1lex1001]

This explain why i don't do the to do list 🤯🤯🤯.

[@persephonebasilissa5109]

OK, based on Gretchen's initial description of Book people vs. Tree people, I thought both my spouse and I are Tree people. But as she and Cas discussed it more near the end, I realized I'm more of a Book person. I do think of my life in chapters or phases, I am more willing to just make a significant change in my lifestyle, I am less compelled to hold onto sentimental things or maintain traditions. Several times my spouse has mentioned how much I've changed over the years. Even though I tend to live in the same city and work in the same job for years at a time, I still easily make life changes. I'm a Book!

[@user-zw4jy2cf5g]

A follow-up is that my mom used to try to get me to buy clothes I wasn't into. She'd say it was trendy or other kids were wearing it. As soon as she said either of those things, I noped out.

[@user-ep6ux6tl8e]

I’m a Gretchen Fan!

[@emilyboggess4426]

This. Is. So. Good!! ❤

[@hannekemarjolijn]

I was hoping you and Gretchen Rubin would do an interview! Love it! ❤

[@sprinkle4k]

Wonder if there’s any correlation between this and our cluttering styles.

[@ms_firefly]

Great episode! You two should collaborate on something.

[@michealamccarroll6405]

I think my husband and I and both of our children are rebels 😂. Live suddenly makes sense!

[@mis7089]

Awesome podcast!

[@ren8240]

I paused the video to take Gretchens test & got all the way through the 12 questions to the very end where it said put in your email address for results. I immediately thought "nah f*ck that" & then laughed to myself as it was pretty obvious then that I am indeed a rebel or atleast a questioner! 🤣

[@Mary23_A]

I like to read about personality categorizations; "Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery" by Riso and Hudson is my favorite book. What I like about it is that it dives into some childhood experiences that form what we are. Gretchen Rubin's method is less developed than this, and having done survey research the survey could be better developed with less obvious questions. That said, external versus internal motivations is an interesting subject. There definately are people who don't like to be controlled and thus request have to be phrased in a non-controlling way. Cas may say she had little internal motivation, but she tacked her primary issue- forgetfulness, or a lack of working memory, which caused her to fail in school, and learned systems to manage it such as lists, Alexa, having less clutter, all of which led to having a successful life. Thus it may be that motivation is not just a personality trait, that we can develop internal or external motivation. In the Enneagram, it discusses that it is not the personality that is good or bad, it is whether we are healthy or unhealthy within that personality. Cas is an entertainer personality, but has learned how to manage her urges to run to the next thing out of boredom in order to give stability to her children and her finances. Thus she stays within her personality, but shows that she can grow, and that's what is really desirable.

[@ClutterbugPod]

I've never felt so seen and understood, thank you ❤️

[@intherockies]

I wonder if canceling appointments and rescheduling is a part of being a rebel. I have the hardest time doing what I need to do. I'm all in, on the day I schedule, but by the time the date comes up then I usually don't want to go 🤦‍♀️. I have trouble taking tests because I know which answers will get which results 🤦‍♀️ so I don't trust the test 100%. My kid is a questioner and it's very obvious. I 100% know I'm not an upholder.

[@jwarnstarsmile]

A couple of beautiful, passionate women - what more could you ask for!

[@XhilaratingAngel]

The rebel sounds like a slight PDA profile!

[@tanjaaufdermaur9468]

I think I read the happiness project and I think I finished it.....😉😂 years ago. And I decluttered all my self help books😂

[@elanorbarr2593]

Tree clients might just need a ‘prune’ here and there, so that their roots and grow healthy new branches.😅

[@smeag9280]

Omg Cass, your husband is just like mine! He can’t stand me asking him to take out the trash, but if I whine that it smells, he’ll do it 😂

[@Anaturalpharmacist]

Apparently I’m a rebel! Who knew?

[@lisabaker1569]

This explains teenagers, at least my oldest kid. 😮🎉😂

[@reneechristensenpillow8373]

I grew up asking why about anything and everything. I'm now curious to learn what I might be... I would think an obliger...but .maybe not

[@northstar4851]

Questioner?

[@Dragonswagg66]

Mom of 4 (in home) in a family of rebels and questioners 🥲 the kids get it honestly 😂😂

[@tracyhilt3442]

I feel like I can be all of these but depending on the relationship I encounter

[@ProcrastinatorsAnon]

I think the ADHD tendency of wanting new experiences gives the impression of being a rebel. I knew I was a questioner from the start but I don't necessarily ask questions.... I tend to demand explanations by arguing using my own explanations lol.

[@missyhash3018]

? Where can I find the boxes behind you

[@Flowerchild782]

Pretty sure she has said she got them at The Container Store

[@tinahyatt1722]

Can you be a questioning obliger? Lol There are certain parts of my life where I ask a lot of questions

[@user-zw4jy2cf5g]

If it helps, rebels are hardest to live with on the inside too. Ask me how much I know.

[@mousebr549]

I think most men are rebels when it comes to the honey-do list. 😆

[@lindamcadarra402]

❤Cas, please please is there a chance I can get picked for the time when you pick a subscriber? I need help so beyond… I need it must of all for my mental and emotional health! I know from listening to you, you would understand. By the way, I’m a “tree” and a micro bee❤ Sincerely with gratitude, Linda, Pa

[@CalledForSuchA7imeAs7his]

I watch 2-3 videos per day and KZbin unsubscribes me after every single video every single day

[@mylifeisaparty]

Joe sounds like he has extreme demand avoidance

[@encouragementnotespodcast7616]

Can you be an obliger with some people and a revel with others? Because I'm embarrassed to say that I will be in a pleasure with my friends and even most strangers. But when it comes to being an obliger with my parents, I don't want any part of it and I turn into a rebel

[@northstar4851]

We stay immature with our parents until we’re about 40.😅

[@JackieNelson-qo2il]

😅😅

[@findingaway5512]

I feel like i must be a rebel..... But also i feel like a questioner inncertain ways..... But i also question my self..... 😂

[@findingaway5512]

I hate scheduling things.... That part resonated for me. I also think part of that is because my life is very chaotic and every time I try to make plans I feel like they fall through because of some sort of my life's chaos.... So a lot of that so that I am not a dependable person ..... But I also feel like I am a very loyal person but I don't have freedom..... And then the piece about needing freedom resonated with me because I often feel like I am drowning..... Because I don't feel like I have freedom. My family depends on me and has so many needs.

[@rosiehelminiak2947]

​@@findingaway5512you just described me as well! You are not alone. That is exactly how i feel!

[@malinheleneanderberg934]

A leaf person

[@francine6485]

People who have an extreme difficulty with being controlled I would think would have a large majority characteristic trait of narcissistic personality disorder. I didn't say they all do I'm just saying that is a dominant trait of a narcissist. My mother could not make plans even if it was something she wanted to do. When my father died and she didn't have to cook or clean or deal with one other person she was retired could come and go as she please get up when she wants go to bed what she wants spend her money on what she wants and nobody was telling her what to do those were the best days of her life. So I learned all those tricks on how to get her to commit to something. They have to be the hero they have to be the star of their own show there has to be something in it for them. I disagree with the they're doing it because they love you.