Unwanted & Intrusive Thoughts. My POCD Story.

When I was 12 years old, I started suffering from POCD. POCD is a form of OCD where people resort to hidden compulsions to combat unwanted and intrusive thoughts. I hope my story can help anyone going through the same thing!
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[@aleshashelley3018]

So brave, happy I know I'm not the only one going through this

[@xaviarmarshall6281]

This video speaks to what I'm going threw right now it's to the point where I cant take it any more and yea I'm crying alot and im a Male 17 yrs old

[@crofton5936]

Xaviar Marshall m 18 male too, Hope you’re okay

[@leonardrichards3778]

@@crofton5936 how are you doing now

[@alexvela9919]

It’s okay bro

[@Greasemonkez0g]

hi I'm 14 and this makes me happy to know that I'm, not a weirdo thank you speaking out this helped me so much

[@ozzyjimenez9017]

No problem! I'm glad it helped in some way :)

[@HumaCorn]

thanks so much for making these types of video ive been going through this a couple of days now and i thought i was a sick twisted freak that needed to get locked up and seeing your videos and other people going through the same thing is probably the only reason im still alive

[@sophiagonzalez9279]

Thank you for sharing this I am so glad I am not I am not the only. Thank you thank I always wanted to be a mom and POCD almost took that way!

[@loislaudin]

Good for you! No doubt, you will be helping people that have this problem, especially adolence age. I developed harm ocd and self harm ocd over 50 years ago. Through therapy and such helpful videos like this, I am so much better . I kept it to myself for years. I would just like to say if anyone is seeking help, they should ask the therapist if they are trained to work with OCD patients. Some of them are really not knowledgeable at all. God Bless!🙏

[@halena539]

Wow...you got a leg on me, haha...i've been struggling with this for seven years. I was mortified...I was sitting and class then all of a sudden I got my very first intrusive thought. I got chills running up my spine. I was mortified, absolutely disgusted with what I couldn't, and to this very day unfortunately, can't help. I was told and I wanted to be a mother, and these thoughts nearly drove me to suicide multiple times. I tell you it is a he'll that already exists on earth. All praises to The Most High...he will reveal why he had a select few of us had to go through this. It sounds to you like television took a toll on your subconscious. Take care love ❤.

[@AllisOneOneisAll]

ive been struggling over these things for 13 years now and i feel i have no one else to talk to. all of the forums, etc. only help for a little while but it never lasts. i feel my situation is really different than most and it eats me alive almost everyday.

[@lordnermal4361]

Get help there are are treatments and therapy available for this just gotta put effort. You deserve to live.

[@ozzyjimenez9017]

Disclaimer: I don't have any negative feelings towards gay people nor do I think it is bad to be gay. This is coming from my experience growing up in a household where being gay was looked down upon or made fun of so that worsened my thinking about my intrusive thoughts.

[@williama7124]

@Johnny G your wrong

[@redvelvet462]

Johnny G you say that he is homophobic Because he is heterosexual?

[@redvelvet462]

Johnny G look I’m a bisexual girl and I was having hocd too not because I don’t want to be homosexual because I was so sure of my sexuality and it was makes me suffering because I was very sure that I’m bisexual girl and I can feel attracted to both genders and after having a homosexual ocd I got heterosexual ocd , do this makes me homophobic or heterophobic ?

[@redvelvet462]

Johnny G I don’t think you even know what homophobia means , he is not homophobic having hocd is doesn’t makes you homophobic please stop saying about people that they are homophobic when you actually don’t know what do homophobic means

[@redvelvet462]

Johnny G I’m not homophobic I’m not afraid from being homosexual I’m not afraid from being heterosexual I’m just sure that I’m bisexual and I just have thoughts I just have ocd and ocd is so hard and people with ocd have a hard life so please stop annoying people who have a mental health problems

[@annabeners9263]

I relate so much to everything you say and I am only at the beginning of the video. I am currently struggling with this and noticed that I also started at the age of 12-13 but thought I was just overthinking yk.

[@joshuamills7029]

I’m glad I saw this video brother I’m dealing with similar issues

[@ella4346]

Im 18 now and have been struggling with this for 4 years. I wish i had looked for help sooner. The longer you stay quiet the worse it gets. Get help now ❤

[@leonardrichards3778]

Hello how are you doing now

[@ncncndjdhndncnsjxj1438]

how do i get help for this? i’m afraid to tell a doctor because i’m afraid they will not understand ocd and they will think i am the real thing.

[@SoilGrowthCompany]

Can someone help me? I have POCD for over 2 years now, sometimes it changes to HOCD. The past few days I have started to panic and even cry because the images and thoughts of POCD have escalated. The problem is that I've become much less panicked by POCD's unwanted sexual thoughts or images, but when I'm watching a movie or checking social media and an image of a little girl suddenly pops up, I immediately get this horrible feeling that I'm involuntarily noticing beauty or cuteness, and at the same time I it seems as if I want this feeling to continue. I immediately start to fear and panic. Although I don't have any sexual arousal or desire...I'm really scared and depressed about it and wish it was all gone…

[@joaobaka8404]

For 6 years I suffered from HOCD, but now I'm developing another theme that I'm not even sure if it's even OCD, I think I might have POCD, I started to be afraid that I might be attracted to little children, I look at pictures of little girls on the internet to see what I feel, I have intrusive thoughts but not as often as with HOCD and I think they are not as bothersome, I feel the urge to want to do something with them, but it doesn't seem forced , it's like I really want this, I then start to sound and feel my body get hotter, I can't tell if I'm really attracted to kids or if it's just POCD, I don't want to be a monster and I want to be attracted to girls my age, help!

[@bruno_FE13]

Hey, Joao. I hope you're doing well. It really seems like you are suffering from POCD. The fact that you don't want to be attracted to kids and that the thought of being attracted to them makes you extremely uncomfortable says a lot. It's pretty common when you have some type of OCD that it'll try to find other themes to attack you, in your case, little children. Just think of it this way: I've never been attracted to kids before. Why is this happening now? It doesn't make any sense. I suggest you go see a psychiatrist to help you with that. And just like any other OCD, don't try to fight these intrusive thoughts. Let them come and show your mind that you don't care about them. BE INDIFFERENT. With time, these thoughts will become less frequent and the anxiety will only come weaker. Just one more thing: you need to expose yourself. Don't avoid places where there might be kids, like shopping malls and parks. You need to face these things that make you scared. Don't worry, friend. You'll be fine.

[@hybrido8]

Hello Osvaldo. So, at first i experienced the harm intrusive thoughts. I was soo terrified. I thought that i will hurt somebody, i will hurt somebody from my family my friends, i thought that i will hurt somebody on the street or i will jump or push somebody in front of a car, bus... was soo scared. I thought that im a psychopath. I had no idea what to do, i felt soo alone i could not tell nobody about what i've experienced. The moment i was next to a sharp object like a knife anxiety started kicking, i was shaking, i had a pannic attack. I decided to search up these fears and terrifying thoughts in internet, youtube. I watched a video of a girl and her story of OCD and the intrusive thoughts...And i cried. I was frighten. Then, the winter of 2018, i got even more obsessed. I thought i had schizophrenia, i thought i had a serious mental illness and i am a menace for everybody. But the hardest and the most disturbing and disgusting intrusive thoughts that attacked me were the pedophilia OCD (POCD). Then i started questioning myself "What if im a real pedophile and what if i harm or abuse or molest a kid". I felt like a monster i felt soo disgusting of myself and i started loathing myself for having these thoughts. And since november til this day i experience the POCD intrusive thoughts.

[@danieldooley1868]

I notice most people with ocd believe there thoughts , I don’t do ocd things but I do get intrusive thoughts that I struggle with but I never ever believe them or think I’m bad for thinking these things is this still ocd I also have adhd which makes me focus hard on negative things so that could influence

[@somnathjana5128]

You are grate sir

[@alexanderdow4324]

Wow this was so helpful for me. I'm bi or pan idk how to describe it but I always felt like my feelings towards girls and now women were fake and my feelings towards boys and now men felt unwelcome to me. On top of that, I'm biracial and I always felt like my similarities with white ppl are fake and my similarities with black ppl felt unwelcome (I grew up around mostly white ppl). I got abused a lot even sexually by my father who was black as a kid and by my friends who were white and I grew up without any friends who looked like me and whose families were like mine. So I breathe now and it helps. I always thought I was gonna turn into a racist or a pedophile when really it was just other ppls issues I was trying to control with my mind... you're right to warn kids to seek help. These problems can't be helped alone. I think I'm healing

[@wonderwhy5824]

What do u use to make ur videos? (record video/Audio)

[@quadsrock1289]

Hey I have POCD and I told my mom about my form of ocd

[@user-by1no3rx7s]

what happened after then? im curious.

[@chickenlittle4014]

This is what happens for me I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without thinking I look like a creep

[@juanmontero5348]

I'm 13 I'm too scared to tell my parents. I need some guidance.

[@HumaCorn]

same im 13 are you still going through it or have you overcome it?

[@amandalovey7212]

I told my mom and it’s gotten better but if you can’t tell your parents try telling someone else like a really trustworthy friend or another family member.

[@d4rkgamer589]

I'm 13 to

[@ncncndjdhndncnsjxj1438]

@@amandalovey7212 how do i get help for this? i’m afraid to tell a doctor because i’m afraid they will not understand ocd and they will think i am the real thing.

[@JohnSmith-jb2wc]

Dude it be awesome to talk to you is there any way I can??

[@fritz-creates]

meditate.

[@joshuarode7118]

Pure Ocd is like that scene in the dream episode of Rick and Morty when they're running from scary terry in hell and they knock out the little girl to go into her dream to escape but then they're still in the same hell and terry can still get them and they keep running, nothing but fear from here on out bitch! If you got pure o like me, watch that it's a good way to laugh at the absurdity of the hell we are going through

[@jasmineg9738]

Pure ocd is pure-o but it also has compulsions like rumination. Pocd is pedophilia ocd. I was looking for POCD to so some might get confused. I dont like the idea of pure O even tho I have it. It’s all the same just different things. I like your videos tho keep it up.

[@anuvabchakrabarti4089]

How many types of OCD have you had??

[@weatherataglance6075]

I had the same fear of being gay.

[@abe343]

you should make a video in spanish about this (if you can).

[@ivanlorgia5923]

How to know if it is really an obsessive compulsive disorder?

[@n.ribeiro569]

if you cannot function in daily life because the preoccupation of intrusive thoughts have become so dominant that many areas of your life, are being effected. You will know if it is feeling unbearable..

[@PasscodeAdvance]

@@n.ribeiro569 same with me

[@sharvapotdar3257]

You remind me of Lando Norris for some reason 😂

[@davejerezgonzales520]

You’re handsome enough. 😉

[@n.ribeiro569]

i think everyone in the entire world has pocd, it is normal...just knwoing that wont make you feel so bad...your doctor, your psychatrist, the neighbour, friend, your children when they grow up..will all think about what if i pushed this person infront of a bus...or what if i sneak up behind this person and smash their head...lol it is normal to think this!! everyone does!

[@hisarahhere9664]

I'm an 11 year old girl and I have pocd well, idk so I never have thought of these things so I saw something messed up. Because of that and it made me think of this crap. So I thought about younger kids sexually, I got overwhelmed and scared and I thought I was a creep. So at some points I would think it was no problem and good, idk if it's hormones or just me being creepy. I would think why would I think it's ok? Why? And it felt so real

[@amythompson4537]

@@hisarahhere9664 hey I hope you're okay first of all you're so so young you're just a kid yourslef. I'm 17 and have been struggling with this and I'm now in therapy and I'm imrpoving it takes alot of courage and work but I really encourage you to do it. talk to your perants and explain you have been having intrusive thoughts and you know you wouldn't act on them but there are times where you get anxious and you want help to cope with them. I know it's so scary but your perants should want to help you and hopefully allow you to get help. If you really were attracted to children you wouldn't be so anxious. you would maybe know it's wrong and messed up but you wouldn't think you were a monster but there's so much doubt sorrounding intrusive thoughts that you're not sure what's real and what's fake at certain times. I hope youre doing okay I wish you the best

[@nataliaroumiantseva6779]

No it’s not. It’s normal for people to think these things occasionally but people with OCD have this constantly. From the moment they wake up till the moment they fall asleep. They’re constantly doubting everything around them and having extreme anxiety

[@Lalalala45678]

You think it is normal to worrying all the time of because of thoughts? No, it is not normal. No one in my family or close friends have OCD. So please, dont say that. Its really disrespectfull.

[@darkyboode3239]

It sucks that you grew up in a homophobic environment, what the people around you were saying wasn’t right.

[@ragingronin8049]

Wow. Gross. Lemme guess: you hate President Trump

[@neen2660]

Dumb

[@cinzio4615]

hahahha

[@Loopyloop29]

This is a everyday struggle for me, i’ve had OCD for 14 years. I have all the themes and it’s really really hard to continue living. I take pills (imovane) everyday to just cope, and the strangest thing is when i take that medicine all my intrusive thoughts goes away. I don’t recommend anyone to take these. We all will get better hope to god! Sending my prayers to everyone dealing with this illness and other themes. OCD IS A CRUEL DEMON ❤️‍🩹DON’T LET IT EAT YOU❤️‍🩹