Straight OCD (HOCD, POCD, AOCD, etc)

If you're anxious about being something you're not, it helps to shift your focus to the underlying fears.
The Mental Fitness 101 course is now live. It explores all of the fundamental skills and concepts that I cover with clients during the first month of working together, from starting a regular meditation practice to practicing non-judgment, understanding compulsions and translating values into specific actions. You can use this link to get 35% off: brainschool.markfreeman.ca/cou...
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[@bigheadmarkie]

Awesome videos Mark. Your videos have truly helped me in my journey of recovering from OCD. I have gone from being on a high dosage of anti -depressants , to weaning myself completely off of them. I have found that cutting out the compulsions has been much more effective than the medication. I have had OCD for over 20 years. OCD had intruded into all aspects of my life. Work , relationships ,family. I have been doing the therapy for a year and I'm at a much better place. Thanks again for the helpful videos

[@cedriccino9623]

Wow, I had never thought about brain functioning this way. Definitely makes sense!

[@scottadams6549]

So good Mark, Good reminder for us to always have an Holistic approach to our Mental Health!

[@jeanalisson]

This is really insightful, I am (I believe) going through this right now, except the theme is my gender identity. This huge uncertainty about other people's opinions is no doubt something I feel really heavily in my life for a long time, I never imagined these things could be related to each other.

[@JH-fn4co]

Hi mark, I’m really struggling with sexual orientation ocd. I have a boyfriend since last year, and my rocd started right then, when I realized that things were getting more serious between the both of us. Because of the rocd (I didn’t even know I had rocd back then) I started to think that I was aromatic. This thought really freaked me out and made me cry a lot. I started questioning all my past crushes and let me tell you, two hands are not enough to count the amount of crushes I’ve had in the past. I started to think that I was never really in love with them and that I was just lying to myself, although I’ve never doubted my sexual orientation before and never felt like something was „off“. I’ve spend hours ruminating about my past crushes and trying to find something that could confirm what my ocd was telling me. I also started to freak out about that thought of getting married. When I was young there was a time where the idea of getting married was not a big dream of mine and now my ocd brain tells me that that is the indicator of me being aromatic… because of something that I’ve said when I was 13 wtf??? It just drives me crazy. A couple of months ago my ocd also convinced me that I was lesbian, out of absolutely nowhere. I started making up scenarios in my head and checking if I liked them. And then I my ocd also convinced me that u had a crush on my boyfriends brother???? My ocd does not make any sense and I am just so exhausted of all the tricks my brain is playing on me. It’s just so exhausting… is it possible that my brain is just looking for a reason to break up with my boyfriend? I feel like my ocd Is trying to sabotage my relationship. Everything is going amazing between him and I, and I know how much I love him but my ocd is just driving me insane

[@klv19xx]

love the way you ended that

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+klv19xx Thanks!

[@MayoRopeRusty]

What are you best tips for accepting HOCD? even when they are the most intrusive disturbing images and thoughts . Thank you

[@hannahstewart8639]

You blew my mind

[@everybodyhasabrain]

:)

[@bunnyteeth365]

I suffer from straight/bi/asexual OCD. I'm not really out as gay to too many people because I'm worried I'm not truly gay. I also have no experience with the same sex. Because of my OCD obsessions I don't have too much sex drive, so I don't feel much attraction to anyone.

[@shubhamjedhe3710]

Same bro

[@RichyLove19]

Me too.

[@SoulShadowXY]

Try carnivore diet

[@brojesus8562]

I'm 16 and my first pure ocd obsession was about my dog I love her so much she's so affectionate and loving but for some reason I thought I wanted to have sex with her i don't know why but it really bugged me I never would have but the thought was always there so I completely avoided her i told my parents I didn't like her and I just didn't pay any attention. Then over time it went away. Then I started to think I was a pedophile(which doesn't really make sense cuz I was 14 at the time) and it really scared me I would look up pictures of young girls to see how I would react to them and of course I felt nothing then over time that went away. Then I thought I was a phsycopath which makes no sense because I'm actually an extremely empathetic person and I care too much if anything. Then a sociopath. And now I'm worried I was molested by my dads ex girlfriend. No evidence at all but I can't shake the feeling. This is the worst yet. I get panic attacks and it's always at the back of my head I try to pick apart my childhood and find evidence that I was molested but there's nothing but I can't shake it. I only realized a couple of days ago that I have pure ocd I'm undiagnosed I just found out about it a couple of days ago I don't know what to do should I get a therapist??

[@UnKnown-hl4ev]

@⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻ holy fuck.. thank you!!! Somebody like me!!! Istg I am not weird and I’m not like that. I just get these nasty sickening thoughts that make me sick.. Idkw either. Like I could do it and I’m capable of it. I’m

[@hepa00lepa]

Definitely seek therapy. In my experience, I discovered at the age of 24 that I was indeed molested by my older brother for years in my early childhood. The memories were stuck in the far corners of my mind hidden beneath dreams and dull feelings... I would have these recurring dreams throughout my teens where my brother was a giant and I would be climbing him, trying to get to the top but he wouldn't realise I was there and I'd be tossed around and then he sees me but doesn't help me, he shoves me and plucks me off him and puts me on different parts of his gigantic body.... Yeah. And this is relevant because I also had those thoughts and feelings when I was your age. I didnt know how or why I was even able to conceive of some of the things my mind was thinking, and that was scary and made me feel like a monster. Like god himself had written my script to be a terrible person. But humans dont get spontaneous ideas. Our present is shaped by our past, including the structures of our minds.

[@paige15803]

I have HOCD and I hate it so. Much

[@HenryItzNiine]

Thank you.

[@shrimpvdinner]

Hi! I was wondering if you had any videos mentioning counting compulsions? I'm constantly counting in my head (usually in sets of four) and it's really interfering with my daily life. It's fairly easy to stop myself from acting upon my other compulsions, but I'm not sure how to keep myself from constantly mentally counting.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+shrimpdinner I try not to focus in on specific compulsions because I think it helps to approach any compulsion in the same way. From years of practice, it's normal for compulsions to become very automatic. Then it seems difficult to think of how not to do them. So at first, it's mostly about noticing when we're engaging in them, and then bringing our attention back to the present. This is the same whether it's a counting compulsion or an automatic physical compulsion, like skin picking. Then I find that it helps to start trying to get proactive with mindfulness. There are often particular situations where we typically engage in the compulsion, so when going into that situation, what helped me was intentionally trying to be mindful and in the present from the moment that situation or event begins. So if I was in a meeting, rather than starting off the meeting by letting my mind wander, I practice keeping my attention on the speaker. My mind will eventually want to wander off, but I find it's much easier to keep it in the present if that's where we start off, then trying to force it there after I encouraged it to wander off. Here's a video on learning to sit with uncertainty/uncomfortable feelings instead of ruminating and engaging in mental compulsions: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gpqzhGufqdVgf5o It's not about counting, specifically, but you can apply the same principles of sitting with that feeling of needing or wanting to engage in the compulsion. Let me know if you have any questions about that.

[@catlover78901]

Thanks for this video. I’ve been struggling with straight ocd for a year bc I was always worried I’m too young to be asexual. I’ve been forcing myself to be attracted to men but it obviously backfired.

[@gokulnath8043]

Hey im too😢

[@BearyBoo-tv4vx]

FRRR MAN FRRR IM LITERALLY MYSELF I LIKE MEN BUT I JUST CANT BE SEXUALLY WITH EM ONLY WITH WOMAN AND I HATE IT IM SORRY IM JUST CRYING I WANNA GET MARRIED AND ENJOY MYSELF WITH A MEN OF MY LIFE

[@yajomar4556]

Your video made perfect sense and the way you explained ocd as a drug really made me notice a lot of things. You are right, i have focused so much on the sexuality aspect that i havent even noticed how i worry about what other people think with other things. For example, today i noticed how when i sat alone i looked at people and feared they would think i was lame, or when i was around someone i would go to a mirror and fix my hair because i didnt want them to think i was ugly. These are ocd behaviors i am clearly doing that i havent even noticed before because i pay no mind too and do them without thinking. However what i did not understand from this video is what you were trying to convey for me to do. You explained it but i dont think you actually gave a "heres what you need to do to beat this disorder" discussion. Care to build on that please?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Jot Bean That's what my entire channel is about. It's a bit long to fit in a single video. But basically it's about learning how to accept the stuff in your head, not trying to cope with, check on, or control uncertainty, anxiety, and other feelings you don't like, but instead to focus on engaging in actions that align with your values, that will help you be healthy and happy over the long-term.

[@sarthakdabral1556]

My story goes back from like age 11-12. I am 18 now . Primarily i have had crushes on girls.But i had this problems with being called weak and emotional which made me think that are men supposed to be like this. I saw my same gender friend all sweaty when i first got this thought and the thought or idk urge that do i want to kiss him. I cried in front of my parents and they told me you are normal it is okay to be attracted to friends and all you are straight. But i used to have this thought and a heavy feeling in chest and more anxiety and feeling bad when i had such encounters at times. But i used to not pay attention. Since start i used to avoid transgender and gay things as i feared them i dont know why. Now i started liking girls even felt that awesome feeling when a girl kissed me. I never fantasized about boys only girls since the start. But i felt triggered whenever i find myself i perceive feminine and be particular of that. One think was that such thoughts irritated only when i thought about them as in when i had free time. Not normally. Since then it was okay till last year i saw alex strangelove which triggered me and gave me so much anxiety i could not study for my exams I confronted my parents again and they said u are really fine and if there was something we would have told at early stage only. I love checking out women with my friends and somehow hocd triggers have given me groinals and ROCD and diminished attraction to opposite gender like before please tell if this is hocd

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It can really help to see that checking for reassurance about this stuff IS the compulsion that fuels it. Writing out all of those details to check for certainty from people online is only going to make the brain more uncertain. These checking compulsions fuel OCD. So I wouldn't focus on chasing certainty about some "themes". You can see the compulsions right there. If you want to get over OCD, it's useful to cut out compulsions.

[@kittylover7724]

So a month ago while doing a breathing awareness exercise as part of a mindfulness meditation program (which I was doing to help reduce anxiety). The idea was to focus on your breathing without letting your mind wander (which was supposed to be difficult). Well it was until I thought to myself "what if I can't stop being aware of my breathing". From that point on I got stuck with what I discovered through online research is called a sensorimotor obsession with breathing. What should I do to deal with it, as yes I need to breathe but now I find I cannot do it if it's not with my full awareness. What do you recommend I do?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Here are some things I would consider: 1) How do you pay attention to something? Why do you pay attention to your breathing but not the clouds in the sky? That might sound like a weird question but you are free to focus on whatever you want, so when you understand how and why you focus on things, it can help you make changes. I find it's especially helpful to make changes in beliefs, desires and judgments. 2) It might help to get a meditation teacher. They can also guide you through different exercises to learn how to focus on different senses, like sound, taste, sight, touch. By learning to move your focus around without judgement, you can build up the skills to move your attention freely. 3) Keep in mind that trying to control feelings always leads to more of the feelings you don't like. I actually always encourage people NOT to try to use meditation for anxiety relief. If you seek relief from something, it only tells your brain to worry about things even more. Meditation and mindfulness are about learning to feel whatever you're feeling without judgement. They are not about avoiding feelings. 4) Cut out other compulsions. If you can work with a therapist that specialises in types of therapy like ERP or ACT, they can hopefully help you cut out this compulsion and others in your life.

[@carlchaovski8542]

Mark.. Do you think that the want and need for reassurance has to do with our education system? Like ticks in the box or x's or gold stars and happy stickers as rewards from doing the right thing, or getting an answer correct.. I do get this video, I just wanted to add this as an extra thing to consider ✌

[@nicolykaren]

I had this was terrible, I almost killed myself but right now I understand that this is pure anxiety and all that was consequence of narcissistic abuse by my mother.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It is so useful to see where these experiences originate and shift the healing work there.

[@OTBCap]

Are you mark from the brain physics board "I'm gay and you're not"? Because if you are, your article has helped me little by little and had relieved from anxiety but still in this loop whole!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

No, that's not me. Sorry to hear you're in a loop right now!

[@Chels28]

I’m so confused with myself I’m not sure if I have ocd or not but this is killing me I’ve been having these thoughts for 4 months almost 5 I just want it to go away and I’m not sure where to go to help myself

[@Alexander-ts2vw]

Ilovebeingdifferent It’s who I am how are you now, I’ve got the same thing

[@hix9306]

Mine was triggered from a movie where a kid had anxiety and someone told him he was gay . I’ve delt with anxiety all my life but never had any sexual doubts . So while watching I was like “ does that mean I’m gay because I have anxiety?” After that days later my mind was “ saying your gay” like he did in the movie . And I got to questioning like why is my mind saying this ? Shook it off but I started Compulsions and researching why is this happening why is my mind saying this . This went on for some time and I was having anxiety about it and I broke down and told my wife which was really scary . And she was like it’s ok and she understood what I was dealing with . The. I found out people have this issue and I wasn’t the only one . I started to feel better knowing I wasn’t the only one . So it kinda faded away and it didnt bother me anymore. Even tho I deal with other ocds health and other stuff . I’ve laughed about it to myself like I can’t believe I felt like that and it didn’t bother me at all . Fast forward like 4 years later I’m here again . It feels new like I’ve never delt with it all and has had me feeling down . My mind is saying “ your gay “ I’m gay “ you have to date guys now and your family is over “ putting me in a depression. And it all was all triggered once again from a Tik tok i scene about a married man being gay and his wife found out after 20 plus years . My mind said “ wait that can happen ? I remember when I was going through a few years ago . In reality he was already gay and just didn’t tell his wife . So I’m here trying to deal with this now once again . Compulsions and research etc . Just wanted to share. It’s tough

[@nickskulstad7832]

I had this for over ten years now. I've recently began practicing ERP techniques and have been "flooding" myself with thoughts and stimulus to habituate myself to the thoughts. How long of practicing these techniques until I become free of this HOCD bug a boo? I do tend to go into re-assurance mode a few times a week..the power is strong and I have to wake myself up so I don't try to reassure myself I'm constantly straight. Admittedly, it takes all the willpower I have to do this, and I have run a half-marathon and quit smoking. Any tips? Thank you!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

ERP has two parts, the Exposure and the Response Prevention, which basically means not engaging in compulsions. You didn't mention what compulsions you're cutting out, so you might want to shift the focus more to the compulsions, otherwise it's just Exposure, not ERP. From what you wrote, I didn't actually see anything I understand as ERP. You might also consider if this "flooding" isn't a compulsion as well. We generally already have many opportunities during the day to cut out compulsions. OCD is all about trying to get rid of feelings and thoughts we don't like. But the more we do things to escape those experiences, the more our brains give them to us. So if you're trying to do things to get rid of the anxiety you feel about these thoughts, you might only experience more anxiety.

[@nickskulstad7832]

The kind of compulsions that I do are: 1. Mentally checking if a thought is arousing 2. Checking to see if i'm aroused around particular people 3. Porn to see what turns me on 4. Going through past experiences in my head to see what turned me on I've been trying to sit with the thoughts/feelings instead of going to the aforementioned compulsions. And I heard there was an extra step - to "flood" yourself and do the thing that the OCD does not want you to do.

[@goldenrock3113]

Hi mark sir My ocd is about accepting things around when i am doing work or conversation with someone my mind want to wander to accept that car,To accept that tree. To accept things around me. I mean when i have conversation then my mind feel doubt oh see at that thing and i see to that thing so my mind relax. Otherwise I cant ignore to see that thing how I continue any conversation with anybody while accepting everything.can mindfulness help me. Or its the type of avoidness. If i keep focusing on conversation without seeing to car, tree, x, y, z Then i feel urge, stress to see that more and more what should i do? And this series start from one ocd thought

[@thearchitectureoftheuniver1769]

Mark, is confessing a reassurance tequinique ? I cycle through,first having Hocd, then another kind don't know the name now pocd , I don't remember how I made those ones stop but I did,it's all been since I was 20,21 now but for some reason the pocd offends me and scares me so much because I was a child of abuse,that it won't go away.

[@thearchitectureoftheuniver1769]

I am always thinking I am fooling myself man,honestly though . I am sure I would have know before almost being 21 if I was any of these things. As I have had and been attracted to many gorgeous woman in my short time here.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Yes, it's a common reassurance compulsion. People might confess to see what the reaction is or reassure themselves that it's just an anxiety, etc.

[@jonnyarmstrong9339]

When you say acceptance, do you mean acceptance that they could be gay or straight? Or acceptance of the thoughts?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Are those the only two options?

[@jonnyarmstrong9339]

In this context, what are otyer options?

[@goodace12]

ok thxs man I really appreciate you getting back to me could you please tell me can a intrusive thought be the start of anxiety as I felt funny the night it happend and got worse the days it went on let me know many thxs shotGunrusty

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+shot-GUN -rusty Anxiety can come from anything. A big part of OCD is judging what you're feeling and trying to control it. It helps to experience whatever you're experiencing.

[@ShockPopStudios]

Do you take any insurance mark? I have ocd so bad it's killing me.. Fear of going to hell, fear of aging, fear of people thinking I'm crazy, fear of being a failure, and all the bad sexual OCDs across the board.. When I'm just a normal guy my whole life and then bam..

[@ShockPopStudios]

+nagol5178 thanks but I have read all the books in the world on ocd and then some .. I just have major fake guilt and shame embarrassment caused by ocd to begin with that I guess I have to live with this tourtière for the rest of my life .. I just want to end it

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+ShockPopStudios No, I don't take insurance. But many therapists would. It's completely possible to get over all of those things you mentioned. Have you tried something like Acceptance & Commitment Therapy?

[@ShockPopStudios]

I have read a lot of books on dealing with ocd but never had face to face live therapy.. Your videos have helped me so much in understanding my mental illness.. But I know u are trying to talk to all of us sufferers in general.. Just wish I could speak to someone 1 on 1 to really hear my battle.. I was just a normal guy 26 y/o from a great family graduated college with hopes and dreams of becoming a successful artist/designer and marry a beautiful wife.. But ocd came crashing down on me because of ONE stupid incident it has completely destroyed my life.. I was moving to the big city to find a career and was super independent now I'm living in my grandma's basement no job in a hick town.. Feeling completely destroyed.

[@claretormerod8220]

I'd appreciate a reply, ive been suffering from this for about a week. I just got new girlfriend, ive always all my life come across as straight, only recently in my head it has been popping up "am i gay" and it has been getting worse. Ill look at a guy and think in my head that hes quite good looking and ill feel disgusted by thinking it, ive got nothing against gay people at all, i just do not want to be gay. All this is properly confusing and honestly i sometimes feel like killing myself

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Sorry to hear about the struggles. Did you have a specific question about this? Have you considered going to speak to a therapist?

[@Kevin-ys3el]

daniel ormerod hey bro you are not alone. I feel you. I hate having those thoughts as well

[@tchkbty7489]

Just looking at the guy and saying that he is good looking isnt sign of being gay , everyone does that. Actually its our Insecurity sometimes to see same gender body parts and relate with ours its completely nrmal and u r not gay.

[@omnisciencexx790]

same for me. Im becoming more depresesedr lately.

[@kierencassidy8449]

Making me feel I need the toilet if I look at someone do with subject feeling like weirdo

[@lifeisacelebration.79]

I had first wave of hocd , gocd for 2 months then it went off completely. Now it is back . 15 days and i am living in hocd hell.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It can be useful to see that it's about the compulsions, not the presence or absence of any thoughts or feelings. You have a great opportunity here to change how you interact with brain stuff

[@lister11811]

Hi Mark can people with HoCd realise they are Gay? I am so confused as I have been diagnosed with Ocd and have been told my multiple therapists I am not Gay but every thought feels like I want it now. 24/7. I thought people with hocd realise they are straight I am so confused your j out would be great

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Posting this question multiple times is an example of the type of reassurance-seeking that fuels anxiety around this type of stuff. It can really help to cut out the compulsions to check and chase reassurance

[@nikeboy8826]

Hey there. I have been struggling with hocd for 10 years. Like others say..it does not give me anxiety anymore because the thought have been there so long..but the thoughts feel like they are always there in the back of my mind. I can always feel the presence of those thoughts packaged up. How do i rid myself of this package taking up space in the back of my head???

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I find it's useful to look at beliefs, judgments, and desires that we're carrying around: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJbcn3V7e8iFmpY As you're exploring that, it could help to look at stuff you wouldn't have a problem thinking about and what's different about what you do to that stuff compared to the stuff that you want to get rid of.

[@fransmierenneuker8823]

I compare sexual situations with women to sexual situations with men in my head. Somerimes it feels like i like the situation with men more, this is usually when im already feeling anxious. But then i keep testing until i get the reaction i want. The weird thing is that if i test the same thing again like a day after i already tested it, i get the reaction i want ( that i like women more). But how is it possible that my feelings are different on another day. Can the anxiety make you feel like you like it or am i just repressing feelings?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

But all of that testing and comparing is a compulsion. Of course it's going to create these uncertainties you're asking about. The more you do those testing compulsions, it's only natural that you'll create more uncertainty and anxiety and intrusive thoughts and all of that. It can really help to recognize that we're the one creating the problems by doing the compulsions, and there's a way out if we stop doing the compulsions.

[@fransmierenneuker8823]

Mark Freeman thank you for replying so quickly and thanks for your advice.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@fransmierenneuker8823]

Mark Freeman I know this is reassurance seeking and im sorry for that. This is actually my second time dealing with hocd and i think there was like a year and half of almost no compulsive behaviour between the two times i suffered from it. The thing is when I wasn’t dealing with it, I sometimes did get groinal responses or thinking i liked the thoughts. When that happened there was some anxiety, but the difference is that i didn’t fall back and was able to let it go, but does that mean that the groinal responses were real arousal and that i did like it or was it still something caused by ocd even though I wasn’t really suffering from it back then?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@fransmierenneuker8823 This is one of the reasons that it's so useful not to get stuck on themes. It's not like the reassurance seeking here is some extra thing on the side. It's the compulsion. What you just did is what OCD is. That's the practice right there. It helped me to recognize that the brain is going to throw up whatever will trick me into the compulsion. So when you're describing how you're judging "groinal responses" (which is a term it's impossible to know without doing lots of reassurance seeking compulsions on the internet, and itself then requires us to do checking compulsions) , what you're describing there is the way your brain tricked you into doing this compulsion to go online and check. Checking for "groinal response" or "real arousal", they're all just part of practicing OCD. They're not helping. They only create more anxiety and uncertainty. So it can really help to cut out compulsions like that stuff. If you can work with a skilled therapist or grab a good workbook to learn about building mental health skills, those can be great places to get started on this.

[@nipunmondal6969]

What are you saying how to recove.

[@TheBeaverskickass]

Shot in the dark here. I kinda want to start a chat group for people with this. I struggle with it, and I know I don't have many people I can talk about It with. If anyone would be interested in having a small group with others where we can vent and discuss anything we're going through, let me know.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It could really help to build a chat group around skills you want to build, instead of building connection around a problem you want to leave behind. It's a general best-practice with a support group. If we create a group to vent about bad restaurants, we end up eating at a lot of bad restaurants.

[@yjjj3hemp29]

Can someone help me with a question??

[@mack-attack-420]

What is it?

[@bony138]

Any thoughts on emotional contamination ocd that may be different?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Can you explain what the different part is?

[@bony138]

Mark Freeman to be more specific, would emotional contamination OCD from a past trauma be handled any different than (kinda sounds silly) a regular contamination OCD?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I find it really helps not to get caught up in judging and categorizing and discriminating between the superficial topics of obsessions. For recovery, it can be much more useful to focus on actions/reactions. If somebody avoided a situation because of "emotional contamination", that's exactly the same as somebody who avoids a situation because of "regular contamination" fears. The issue is the avoidance and how that interferes with their lives. Getting caught up in specific superficial characteristics and labeling different obsessions is actually something I consider part of OCD. When we're struggling, we're always trying to be certain and put things in small boxes and label them, judge them, and then react to all of that. It just ends up fuelling more struggle. The other thing to consider is that it's the consequences of a superficial fear that are often the same. For example, when somebody is afraid of contamination from germs, if you ask them why they're afraid, it's quite common to hear that they actually don't want to spread germs to other people and be responsible for harming them. And if you ask them why they don't want that to happen, they'll might explain that they don't want people to hate them, they don't want to end up alone. So that fear of contamination is actually a fear of being alone in life. Another common contamination fear has to do with personalities--people develop compulsions around the fear of picking up the personality of people they hate, criminals, etc. Just like with germs, when people are struggling with the fear of getting contaminated with somebody else's personality, they'll avoid things, try to control what they do, touch, see, etc. But if you ask those people why they don't want to pick up somebody else's personality, you'll often hear that it's because everybody will hate them then, they'll lose their friends, etc, because they'll become that horrible person. Again, it's a fear of being hated and alone. That's just one example and I'm not saying that's the fear you're dealing with. That'll be up to you to explore. I'm only pointing that out to emphasize the importance of looking beyond superficial labels. When we talk about OCD online, we'd typically look at a person dealing with a fear of germs and a person dealing with the fear of having their personality switched out with a killer as being very different obsessions or "themes" of OCD, but they're actually identical and the thing those people would need to work on is their fear of being alone or hated, not their fears of germs or switching personalities.

[@bony138]

Mark Freeman gotcha. The personality thing is interesting. My issue was of a toxic relationship from the past with someone. After a long period of time, I realized this person was toxic to me. That led to to break away from them and never wanting to have anything to do with them for the rest of my life. Like wiping my slate clean and trying to keep it that way. The process of breaking away was challenging. Even after a long period of time that went by, I found myself avoiding things that reminded me of them. Years later I came in contact with a person who lives with the "toxic person" from the past and made a negative association to the clothes I was wearing. Once I got home, I washed my clothes but that didn't help. So I put those "contaminated" clothes aside. Soon after, the "contaminated" clothes touched other things and my mind/thoughts manifested many things in life to be contaminated/associated to this toxic person from the past. I appreciate your time. Your videos have been helping me along.

[@leosanmiguel2824]

What if you watched a pornography video before OCD and now that I have OCD I feel so much shame and I ruminate about why I watched it. Does this define me ?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Seeing a piece of garbage on the street does not define me. Seeing a bird fly by does not turn me into a bird. Hearing a car engine drive by does not turn me into exhaust fumes. Why would seeing a video mean anything about you?

[@gabrielvences6524]

Please help me. My whole life I’ve been gay until recently. I have always found men sexually emotionally and romantically attractive. ever since I’ve been emotionally numb and my mental health is horrible I think I’ve lost my attraction to men. I still do find men attractive but not as much as before. I also have become numb to gay porn and I watched straight and trans men porn. I found myself getting turned on and I don’t feel bad but I don’t want to be attracted to that. I found women sexually attractive and I think soon I’ll turn straight but I’m terrified of turning straight. I see myself married to a man and I feel being gay is necessary for my purpose in life. Is this ocd, or my sexual orientation being fluid?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It sounds like you're doing a lot of compulsions but you're talking about them like you don't recognize they're compulsions. Separate from anything to do with sexuality, it can really help to cut out compulsions. If you're doing these compulsions to check and test feelings, it's only guaranteed to create uncertainty

[@gabrielvences6524]

@@everybodyhasabrain well ig that makes sense, but what about my declined attraction to men? It’s still there, but I’m just not excited about being in a relationship with a guy anymore. I’ve never thought about a relationship with a woman, and If I haven’t said, I’m only attracted to female genitalia for now, does that mean the attraction will continue?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@gabrielvences6524 But checking excitement is a common compulsion. It becomes like any OCD compulsion. If you check whether you feel clean, you just feel more and more contaminated. So it could help to take a step back from the topic and learn about cutting out checking compulsions

[@gabrielvences6524]

@@everybodyhasabrain ok thank you. I’ve decided to tell my friends about this but for now I’m just going to distract myself with other KZbin videos. Have a great day or night lol. I’ve also calmed down, my attraction to men is still there I think I’m just overreacting but still thank you for your time

[@frenchfries3529]

PLEASE READ THIS, I NEED HELP!!! I know myself that I am straight man my whole life. I dont even imagine or feel any attraction to male in my entire life. It all started when some group of people surrounding me thinks/suspects that I am a "gay person" without them really saying it directly(I'm good at observing people that's why i know) from that time, i just ignored it, but over time it develops slowly the until it keeps on looping in my mind and it is hell, the more that I answer the question looping in my mind ("am i gay?" "i am straight but why am i feeling intimidated now looking at them?" "am i denying this?" which I know im not) I'm constantly removing myself from the triggers like seeing posts of news articles of those who "come out" or even seeing my male friends my mind dictating "butterflies" and it is getting on my nerves i even forget that I am hungry, thirsty, and sometimes I self harm myself to reassure myslef that I am straight . when I see every male on social media, and this stupid mind keeps saying that "I'm "attracted" to every male! and when I that happens I can't stand it and I'm having both nausea, feeling dizzy and Im feeling scared, freaked out just with the idea that i might be not straight but I know in myself that i am straight, I'm also searching for hours to reassure that I'm Straight, taken multiple tests, and all of them are on the hetero, straight. I know myslef I'm straight and first of all I didn't even have a past of questioning my sexuality because first I'm a straight guy and i know that myself. It's creeping the hell out of me just hearing or my mind just portraying "homo images". This is creeping me out for like 2- 3 months. I don't even have an interest, or even have a history of having interest in my own sex in my whole entire life. I don't even have a will, interest, or even a little percent of that because it's not my thing. I became also too much observant of my own actions thinking that i might be portraying myself "gay" I am scared and it is scaring the shit out of me because my mind is constantly and repeatedly saying that I am "gay" and it is also portraying images of homo kissing which I feel scared and fucking irritated because everytime i close my eyes or just listening to music all of it portrays "images" that i dont like..., and I'm really scared of this taking my identity (i am an alpha straight guy in my entire life.) away from me , and telling the bullshit that I am not straight. I have a high sex drive to women only. I have dreams of building my own normal family someday with my gf. I am completely goal oriented and I am completely sure of my sexuality which is straight. never been aroused to same sex because it is disgusting and against my will that these images keep popping because of my HOCD mind. I have a happy relationship with my girlfriend before this bullshit thoughts came. Now it is slowly destroying me and our relationship. I want to get the fuck out of this loop. it's killing me, i forget my hunger, thirst, and even my daily function because of this shit. I am obsessively overanalyzing everything that everything is falling on the same finish line which is "i might be gay/bi" which is not and i am avoiding it. I am only aroused and having fantasies about women only. In fact I am a straight guy with high libido and only watched girls to exclusively women only and whenever i see accidentally people on socmed of my same sex I immediately ignore and remove those from my feed whether a same sex relationship post or a news of any homo ... I'm not judging them, it's just not my thing and interest ever. I want my happy, cool, alpha and STRAIGHT self back. I need your advices. I know myself that i am exclusively hetero straight. not a bi, homo and I just want to get the hell out of this loop. and get back on track to my straight life without feeling any attraction to every male i see which are not me but dictated by my brain. I want my libido, and my real straight self back which my HOCD is currently taking away from me and faking every "attraction" feels.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It can really help to expand the focus beyond this particular topic. Just thinking you needed to write out all of this is an example of the types of compulsions that fuel the obsessions you're describing. That chasing certainty, needing to get everything right, explain ALL of the details--that inevitably leads to us feeling more uncertain. The more you're trying to chase this perfect idea of STRAIGHT, the more you create the uncertainty you're struggling with. So I'd approach it not as being about sexuality, but instead as unhelpful ways of thinking and processing experiences. Grabbing a good workbook/course or connecting with a skilled pro can be useful ways to start cutting out these compulsions.

[@raschidmalik464]

The love object, woman is just a pure fetish is your brain, what has set there. We are all attracted to our own sex. Since when do you have homosexual feelings?

[@sleep7270]

Ive had Hocd for like 11 months and i havent had anxiety or the urge to get a gf for the past month and its so so sad, dont know if im bi or just HOCD anymore

[@killam9140]

How are you know

[@novagalacticbommer]

hope you feel better due, dont let the hocd win

[@DASAMIRFR]

When i have images of men doing something sexual to me and i feel disgusted am i gay for having that?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

This checking for reassurance is actually the compulsion that fuels these challenges. It can really help to shift the focus to cutting out compulsions. The brain will just throw up whatever tricks us into doing the compulsions to check and chase certainty. So if these are the types of thoughts that get you going online to check for reassurance, then checking is only going to fuel even more of them.

[@melaniebarrie7532]

i was straight 99%of my life when i was 16 or 17 i realized i like girls to so i was bisexual...after i had my first experience with a girl i new i was more into girls so a lesbian... now i have a wife and im. super happy ..but i havestraight hocd..(i deal with ocd since im 10 ...) even if i would say that im also into men my brain tells me to leave my wife so i know that my brain just messes around with me and i know that i like girls more..but its still hard to accept that and my brain uses it against me to make me feel insecure

[@AliAlyon]

melanie barrie sorry to hear that you struggle with it, I hope you are feeling better now! I’m going trough something similar, found out I am gay and now having straight ocd. I hope to see a therapist. Did you do anything at all to cure the ocd?

[@Alexandra-xc5dy]

hey alona can you describe what are your symptoms? I’m so confused and can’t understand is it straight ocd or i’m just in denial with the fact that I am “straight”

[@phoeberusch478]

Hi, I'm writing a book about OCD and my goal is to show that OCD isn't a condition that only affects straight cis middle class white people. I also have OCD that manifested as intrusive sexual thoughts and questioning my identity. Would any of you be willing to talk to me via email?

[@yfoog]

I’m in the same boat. But mine got worse when I entered a relationship. I think I’m really afraid of being ‘found out’ and shamed, even to myself... it’s horrible

[@mrbanguera4768]

I have this, I want to treat this hell...

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's useful to cut out the compulsions then!

[@sarahmay7490]

This all started when my neighbour knocked my door who’s a lesbian so I thought in my head are u attracted to me or what if your attracted to me so I asked myself what does this mean why am I thinking like this does this make me a lesbian now so for weeks I couldn’t eat or sleep I’d cry all the time but now I don’t get anxiety anymore about it the thought is just stuck in my mind and it feels like denial when Iv never ever questioned my sexuality if I try to do erp imagin the worst things I just don’t get anxiety or butterflies I’m confused 🙄🙄😩

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It could help to see that it started with you doing compulsions. What you're describing as ERP doesn't sound like ERP. It's a common compulsion to be testing/checking if something triggers anxiety. ERP would involve NOT doing compulsions like that

[@teragiga967]

hey i've been having mild hocd before but i just shrugged it off like a fly. but in these 3 weeks, i'm suffering a lot. first only thoughts, now intrusive feeling and sensation and groinal responses. i also lost my libido and love for girls. For these last week, i tried to expose myself to my friends male and female, sometimes i respond, and do compulsions,sometimes not.then 3 days my anxiety got way lower. but there is a point where i get anxious bcoz im not anxious anymore, i can't even tell if i'm straight or not. but i know i'm straight. i also have fear that isn't it too early to experience less anxiety,? bcoz this is for just 3 weeks, others took months or years. then i began to doubt if i'm doing right. btw we can't afford money for an ocd therapist. So what i do to expose is i watch wrestling where men are topless and i hangout to my friends after 3 days i can watch wrestling freely. The thing i'm worried about is how can i get my natural love and lust for women back. My way of exposure is not accepting but more of disregarding the thoughts w/out doing mental compulsions.

[@teragiga967]

also my mood swings become more frequent. yesterday i was empty, now boosting with energy and confidence. i also get the fear that i might be gay after recovering from hocd, or i will never fall in love to a woman again

[@Rustyhound-Cartoons]

Xelexhia's Ultimatum Are you doing better now?

[@iyaneki4827]

How's ur hocd now bro?

[@tchkbty7489]

Relax it just hocd , i know it feels like real but believe me the natural attraction towards girls will come. Ur brain will make u think that what if i turn to be gay later but believe me it will never happen. I have myself suffered and have controlled it a million times better. That dont pay attention to the thought. Talk with.ake friesds.and socialise more. And the most tough part we often keep doing is the mental compulsions. That we keep ourself telling that we r not gay and a voice from behind says that we might be. So thats the tough part. But never react to it. Always say i have 1000% control of my thoughts and i am not my thoughts. These r just clouds in the sky and it will go and be mindful and let it go. Don't analyse the scary thoughts. Analysis makes it worst. And u feel like ur caged inside ur own head. So dont worry u can absolutely get out of this

[@harrysmith8329]

Tamoghna Chakraborty bro need some help today I had less thoughts so I decided to watch gay scenes to see of a reaction and I got a bit hard now I’m scared please help man

[@thearchitectureoftheuniver1769]

Is this a purley chemical or mental process? I know you kind of explained it in the video,but a lot of those feelings about what people will think about you can come from certain low brain chemicals . Or so we think .

[@thearchitectureoftheuniver1769]

Makes sense , I am an ex drug addict and this started pretty much whenever I quit doing drugs and finnaly after I quit fully it came back.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's very common when we stop one compulsion to then experience the urge to engage in other compulsions. But that's not evidence of a chemical problem. That's just as easily arguable as the result of training your brain to engage in compulsions repeatedly. Then the brain just looks for something new to react to. This is why it's so useful to cut out compulsions as patterns, not about topics. I find it helpful to recognize that repeatedly doing something inside or outside of our heads to chase a feeling is a single compulsion.

[@thearchitectureoftheuniver1769]

Mark Freeman I guess then the issue wouldn't be as much getting out of the labryth of obsession I have made for my self but staying our of it.

[@thearchitectureoftheuniver1769]

Mark Freeman that seems like the hard part,thank you Mark.

[@linaxx575]

Hey I’m 18 and I knew for sure I’m lasbian since I was a kid never doubted myself and I have had try to have a boyfriend before but I wasn’t attracted to him or to any other male and I know that but recently I have a lot of thoughts fearing that I’m lying to myself and I’m actually straight and I will end up with a man it makes me really uncomfortable and scared I started harming myself because of it and I want to know what the right way to deal with it even if it was hard I want to be normal again 😢😢😢😢

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Cutting out those self harm compulsions will be very important! Working with a skilled professional can be a way to start learning skills to not engage with the stuff the brain throws up.

[@bunnylo4f222]

My whole life I’ve been straight. (I’m a girl btw) I’ve had crushes on just men in the past and never thought about liking women and I’ve never had sexual feelings for a women before. Then one night I just started thinking, “what if you liked girls?” And the thought really scared me. This thought was just constant and I kept thinking about it every day and night. Anytime I thought someone was pretty my brain would immediately think I had a crush on them even tho I didn’t and it really scared me. I searched up on KZbin, “am I bi?” To make sure and while I was scrolling through the comments I saw one that said “how to know if you’re bi: you searched up this video” and it scared me so much and I started to cry because I want to be straight. This whole cycle has been going on since the beginning of September and it’s making me sick. I just want it all to end, I would rather die then constantly have these thoughts. I don’t know if I should tell my parents because we are a Christian family and I’m afraid they won’t believe me and will get mad at me. I don’t know what to anymore please if anyone can help I would really appreciate it.

[@user-zv1wu7mm9d]

I literally have the exact same problem. I’m Christian too. This started last November where a thought popped up saying “am I really straight?” And I started to panic. I’ve liked guys my whole life literally. Never have I ever looked at a girl the way I look at guys. I’ve always wanted a bf. But once the thought came in it’s like everything that proved I was straight went away. I forgot about it once I went to school but when quarantine started it started again. The same thoughts every day telling me that I’m not straight. I’d rather die than be not straight. I’m so scared that I’ll have this for the rest of my life. I’m anxious all the time and can’t stop thinking about it. I want my old self back.

[@Eezkiel]

Christian too. I just want to be straight and my old self very badly. God will make us a path 🙏

[@leo01ng]

Do fantasies run in hocd I try to think about my gf but a guy pops up and it’s annoying I keep doing until it gets it right I don’t want to lose my gf please help

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It can help to see it's this kind of checking for reassurance that fuels the problem. The more we check and judge the stuff in our heads and chase certainty, the more the brain is just going to come up with stuff that makes you more uncertain.

[@leo01ng]

@@everybodyhasabrain thank u

[@J89943]

Can you explain the loss of attraction in women for us

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Sure, that's a natural result of doing the checking compulsions. It happens with any checking compulsion. If somebody checks door locks to feel safe, they'll need to check more and more to get the feeling they're chasing until they've chased it away. Same thing with checking around contamination. The more the person checks to make sure they're clean and they got rid of the contaminated feeling, the less clean they'll feel, the more they'll need to do compulsions. In relationships, with what people call "ROCD", if somebody is checking lots to make sure they still feel love in the right way towards their partner, they'll just doubt it more and more. You posting the question to ask about this is another example of the type of checking compulsions that fuel these experiences. The brain just cares about the compulsions. So the more we check, the more we chase reassurance, the more we get the opposite of what we're looking for. This is why it's useful to cut out compulsions. You can see what they lead to! It really helped me to realize that I had all sorts of unhelpful beliefs and approaches to feelings throughout my life. Recovery has involved a lot of learning totally new ways to do life (that are way better than those old habits).

[@J89943]

Mark Freeman unfortunately I suffer from pocd (harming children) thank you for your time to reply I really appreciate it

[@stxticv9140]

Is it normal to get gronal sensations with it

[@everybodyhasabrain]

This checking is the compulsion that fuels the anxieties. It can really help to cut out compulsions like this.

[@kalaxazoseisaire]

@@everybodyhasabrain yes but what if you want to masturbate for example and when you re thinking of women the brain automatically installs gay sex instead of women? Also does this have to do a bit that i was a heavy porn user and occasionally i would escalate to gay and trans porn but had nothing to do with my orientation in reality. I ve quit porn for a month and its going better

[@goodace12]

hi there what it is I'm 41 year old I was abused when I was a 11 year old.of a boy who was 16 I never told any body about it until I was 18 as I was to scared and in between that I qeustion my sexealuty it was bad but soon as I told my girl freind what had happend I was fine and lived life to the full I have 2 kids one 21 the other 15 we have been to with each other for 24 years and the amount of women I've had i couldn't count on my hands feet. what happend I had a smoke of majihana 1 night 5 days later I felt dizzy and off balance and bad heads and when I was at work I had this intrusive thought strait out of the blue saying your gay I took notice of it then days went on the worst it got bad feelings then spaced out God I was ill went to docs they put me on Meds made me 100 times worse I've told my girl freind and she's been so supported these thoughts where going a hundread mile a hour couldn't control them could toy please help me as I wouldent go there I've been around gay people been to gay bars with girl freind and never give it a thought and this hit me out of the blue

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+shot-GUN -rusty The more you try to prove the thoughts wrong, the more your brain will give you the thoughts. Posting about how many women you've been with or that you've been around gay people and didn't think about these things are actually examples of compulsions. So cutting out reassurance compulsions like those can be very helpful. As well, with any thoughts, it helps to recognize that they're just things we experience. They're no different than somebody shouting at us in the street. If somebody came up to you in the street and said, "You're a tree." It wouldn't make you a tree. But if you insist on proving to that person that you're not a tree and you spend all of your time and energy arguing with that person, you'll just waste your time and energy on something that's probably not one of your goals in life. Thoughts are like a sound we hear in the street. They only have the meaning we attach to them.

[@thegoodfathers8329]

I am death inside😭😭😭

[@BearyBoo-tv4vx]

I'm on the depression

[@jmikaels3651]

May trigger so take care I'm in a relapse from a lot of days because a girl told me she had " HOCD symptoms " and discovered she was bisexual , and another - same thing - and discovered he was gay. I want to love women , not men. I feel a lot of anxiety. But thinking about that is killing me and nobody is answering me. Please help me. I felt that these " false attraction " are real ones

[@everybodyhasabrain]

This can be a useful experience because you can see the effects of reassurance-seeking. The more you seek stories from people to help reassure yourself, the more you'll find information that triggers more anxiety and more uncertainty. Understanding this helped me to cut out compulsions like reassurance-seeking because I knew the more I did it, the more I would experience the experiences I was trying to escape. It can help tremendously to cut out compulsions. If you judge something that somebody says and you think that means something about you, then it's very natural to experience lots of anxiety.

[@iyaneki4827]

Hey bro the same thing happened to me, first I had gay thoughts now I had bi thoughts which I never had before, it scares outta me, hey bro pls can anyone help me?

[@Kevin-ys3el]

Bamjonguh100 bro same with me I never had these type of thoughts before and out of nowhere I’m starting to have these thoughts and I don’t like it all

[@iyaneki4827]

@Bamjonguh100 yes

[@iyaneki4827]

@@Kevin-ys3el yo you got Instagram bro?

[@lister11811]

This is the problem though our say about something you know you are not but if you are thinking and knowing you are Gay everyday then how can someone be straight? I have only been with girls and was diagnosed with severe Hocd of the YBOC scale and now I feel I know I am Gay but then get told I am not and it’s OCD so I don’t even know I am straight as I feel I know I am gay

[@thegoodfathers8329]

I have hocd

[@vibes_9011]

PLEASE HELP ME. I’m a woman. I have POCD. I have recently had this compulsion to “check” if I get aroused. I feel so guilty because I was checking while I heard children outside and continued to see if I’d get a twitching sensation. It always happens when I focus on my breathing and I exhale, there’s like pressure down there and it’s almost like my body pushes out and a twitch comes. I was doing this even though I know I could hear children outside I still continued. I want to die sir. Everyone always says the groinal comes automatically against a persons will but I believe I INTENTIONALLY tried to get it. I feel I’ve acted on my OCD, get off on people, and I want to die now.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It sounds like you're struggling with a lot of compulsions right now. It's totally possible to get over these challenges but posting on KZbin for reassurance isn't going to be as helpful as going to work with a skilled professional. So now would be a great time to start working with a skilled professional on learning healthy skills.

[@eternalpeace3125]

How to respond to groinal response???

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Judging and labeling something as a "groinal response" is a compulsion. And then responding to it is just more compulsions. So it's like asking what's the right compulsion to do around other compulsions you're already doing. Instead, I'd cut out the compulsions.

[@eternalpeace3125]

@@everybodyhasabrain but once I checked, it was real (once in a 100 times) how can o know it's real or fake?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@eternalpeace3125 But the checking is the compulsion and there is no such thing as "real" or "fake" arousal. You're just doing compulsions. Of course you'll convince yourself your fears are true when you're doing compulsions like that.

[@crystalsnowaye2913]

PLEASE MAKE A SEPARATE VIDEO ON POCD PLEASE

[@everybodyhasabrain]

IT'S NOT DIFFERENT THAN ANY OTHER FEAR. BELIEVING IT'S DIFFERENT IS PART OF THE PROBLEM.

[@crystalsnowaye2913]

@@everybodyhasabrain but what exactly should I do when my brain is convincing me that I am one? It has ruined my life .. I get anxiety attacks when I get those thoughts ... what exactly should I tell myself?

[@nahugonza3251]

@@crystalsnowaye2913 hey! i used to feel the same way as you do but thats exactly how the POCD works, it makes you feel like you are a monster, but believe me, you are not a monster, the POCD makes you believe that. A pedophile doesnt feel guilt. The pocd tries to convince you that you are one, and everyone who has experienced it has/had the same thoughts, dont worry, everytime you have a panick attack all you had to do is try to breathe and tell yourself that you are suffering POCD and you are not your thoughts

[@crystalsnowaye2913]

@@nahugonza3251 thank you so much ❤️ I would never hurt kids .. in times where I felt suicidal the only thing that kept me holding on is the idea of having kids in the future ... I love them the most I don’t know why my brian tries to convince me that I am one ... and when those thoughts come it feels so real I feel like I am deliberately thinking them which is scary

[@ncncndjdhndncnsjxj1438]

are you doing better

[@MohinderPictures409]

Is intense sweating and blushing related to HOCD or am I just gay?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Asking questions like this is a reassurance-seeking compulsion. It can help to see that reassurance compulsions, like asking questions for reassurance or checking our body for reactions to chase certainty actually fuel obsessions. The more we seek that certainty, the less certain we feel.

[@ajnaajnica3376]

You are so smart..please can you make a video about "groinal responses" , are they happening because of anxiety or because we think about sexualy relevant??? During mastutbation I sometimes faster reach orgasm on intrusive thoughts, is that possible it happen because of anxiety?? Please help

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's not either of those options you presented. It's just a bunch of compulsions. It can really help to cut out compulsions like that checking and see that the compulsions are always much broader than the specific ones bothering us

[@ajnaajnica3376]

@@everybodyhasabrain thank you. Trust me during mastutbation iz happen so fast, for example my father pops in, likr I do something sexual to him ( I have incest OCD) , and imidiatelly I feel blod flow down there, and reach orgasm faster. And now I am concerned that it means something, and I am not sure why I can it reach faster when it happens? If you understand me, sorry because my english.. I am afraid that tomorow when I would have a parner during sex it would happen to me when my dad pops in, and then I am afraid why is that so..

[@francisfrain6385]

Is it possible that i may be supressing my sexuality and that manifests itself in the form of ocd?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

This sounds like a common reassurance-seeking question so it's not something I can answer.

[@joekinsella8156]

Mark Freeman this question and your answer has now made me more unsure of my sexuality what should i do now. Been watching gay porn like 3 hours a day for last 5 months to see if I'm aroused and nothing but an anxiety groinal response. What should I do? Thanks

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Joe Kinsella What you're doing to chase reassurance online is a very definite compulsion. It'll only make you more uncertain and lead to spending all of your time checking. Is that how you want to spend your time?

[@rhyskostopoulos4378]

Joe Kinsella dude your clearly not gay

[@jill7413]

Joe Kinsella yeah definetley a compulsion, i’ve been thru the same thing. See an OCD specialist maybe. Even if you’re doubtful, you never know what can happen. I highly doubt you’re actually gay.

[@kungfumcgee7992]

as opposed to gay OCD 😂... Much love from Rhode Island 🤟🤟🤟

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I hope you're having a good weekend in Rhode Island!

[@goldenrock3113]

Mark freeman can you answer my below comment

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Patience. I see the comment but I don't understand what the question is you're asking.

[@goldenrock3113]

@@everybodyhasabrain sir i mean i don't have h,ocd i,ocd etc. One day thought stick to my mind.and i Start search online and then i find on internet about acceptance. Then i repeat that thought over and over. So thought leave my mind. After that i became so aware of every single thought. Even going on street when i see a car ,tree ,building ,apple.. i mean everything that i see. i repeat with my self that is a car , that is a tree ,that is an apple because i was afraid if i not repeat car ,tree ,apple ,building...x..y..z. The thought of car,the thought of tree,the thought of building will stick with my mind. And one day i realized that i don't need to accept everything by saying their names. I became successful.but i am still obssess to seeing things and accept it. because when i talking to any body i feel urge to see things and accept it. when i ignore not to see things.then my mind say you are not accepting things. And i feel more urge to see at that thing.sir how i accept everything without giving my attention .because my mind want to accept everything. I mean my mind is obssess about acceptance of everythougt everything that i see. Sir how i do my work when i am aware of every thing to accept it.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That's not acceptance. That's just a compulsion. But in that, you can see how compulsions are practices. If we practice compulsions, then our brains want to do them more and more! In this video, I talk about accepting an apple: kzbin.info/www/bejne/foC2Y6yhesmNmrs Maybe that will help explain things further.

[@goldenrock3113]

@@everybodyhasabrain i understand in video what u say. U mean i stop to see every car u mean i just ignore it and i continue what i am saying what what i doing?

[@blackcupp6727]

I have asexual ocd and i just feel so alonr

[@michaeltheking598]

Its normal to loss attraction to women?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Michael theking This is a reassurance-seeking question, so I can't answer it for you.

[@michaeltheking598]

***** i am 5 fcking months with this shit and rigth now i loss attraction, because i have read that one guy had loss attraction and pumm!.. i to. Thats fucking is a shit, when you suffer that will you understend but what i see you dont understend nothing. Sorry for my english.

[@michaeltheking598]

***** i have had obsessions before, but this is the worst. I hate this. I hate my self... i feel suicidal. Imagine you are suffer this... bye family, bye wife, bye all my live.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Michael theking The best thing I can recommend is to talk with your doctor about this. It is possible to get over this but it helps to work with a therapist that has experience helping people recover. All the best as you beat this.

[@MegzLife]

u could be asexual in that caze