Valhalla Whining | Chapo Trap House

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Art/Animation by Emily Halaka @emilyhalaka
Episode 624 - Valhalla Whining (5/2/22)
#chapotraphouse #chapo

[@osborn.illustration]

The VVitch & The Northman were pretty badass

[@NoOne-py5or]

His films are pretty great always look forward to seeing them.

[@kingofthemoon3063]

It’s true, there’s not enough movies about places outside of Europe. I’d love to see movies set in the history of the Middle East or Asia.

[@karsten11553]

At least movies set in Vietnam used to be a trend!

[@PR0MAN01]

Basically just pick a Civ 6 faction, 90% of them done have movies about them told by people who have reverence for that culture.

[@zeamaiz945]

@@PR0MAN01 any recommendations?

[@dylanchouinard6141]

@@zeamaiz945 I know about a ton of historical dramas from China. Some are even available on KZbin

[@LordJagd]

They make movies like that all the time, there are probably thousands of Chinese or Japanese period piece movies at this point. They’re just not marketed to the west.

[@Gum_Cuzzler]

Honestly, the reason the Northman is bombing could just be abysmal marketing. I’m a fan of Eggers and I had no idea this film even existed until you guys talked about it lol. Went out and saw it right away afterwards.

[@berdyderg900]

Chapo to alt right pipeline

[@Gum_Cuzzler]

@@berdyderg900 I did honestly feel like the only other people in theatre were white nationalists lol. But then again I could easily be mistaken for one too so I don’t want to profile people

[@nate-pq2lm]

Good morning from texaz boyz

[@mrplinkett4429]

slap o snack house

[@holdthedoor8130]

Love you Mr.Plinkett

[@TheFedaykiin]

IMO Valhalla Rising is the superior movie

[@wodidos]

Seriously. I love how it builds up a sense of dread and tension

[@yogidevendrabiriyani1777]

".... we have made ourselves unfilmmable even though all we do is film each other constantly." - Matt (the Christ) Christman

[@jennifer4895]

The awful boyfriend in Midsommar got what he asked for... taxidermy arson pranks. Like my 90 year old best friend Clint Eastwood said in that other movie: "Deserves" got nothing to do with it.

[@Dawt_Calm]

We've all got it coming, kid.

[@tewodrosii2875]

Well, the boyfriend is too stupid to live then. My dad has worse coming to him, yet he ducks it like a champ. Sounds like this guy wasn't on the ball that day

[@cliffordohrnberger]

Vikings didn't just go elsewhere and rape and pillage. Traders, explorers, and travelers went to their homelands as well. Some of the best documentation of some Viking settlements is written by North Africa and Middle Eastern travelers/merchants.

[@tewodrosii2875]

No shit, the berbers (my people) traded furs and spices with them, then sold it double the price to whoever shopped at thier Bazzar. Hell, the Vikings had great blacksmiths. Wouldn't shock me if they exchanged notes on the subject

[@johnpelosi4117]

Always a joy to hear the Jumblies at Sea.

[@adrianchorolez5013]

I probably would have not heard or wanted to watch this movie before this episode

[@cat_city2009]

The Phones truly have ruined literally everything.

[@jonsinobi]

I would love to see an all-phone/texting/scrolling movie that channels the boredom mixed with anxiety that Mark Fisher describes in one of his essays. Maybe something that combines a chill mumblecore aesthetic to the sweaty desperation of Uncut Gems. I want to see the clammy-handed 3a.m.-just-one-more-twitter-refresh-before-sleep conveyed in movie form.

[@ChangedMyNameFinally69]

@@jonsinobi We definitely need a movie told solely through text

[@BennySalto]

Really great point @46:00 There are fantastic stories to be told. But that demands watching non-American media and reading subtitles. I know, shocking, consuming non-english culture.

[@tewodrosii2875]

Lol as a former weeb, let me say I have no problem doing this lol

[@LordJagd]

Squid Game was the biggest show in the world, Parasite won Best Picture, the whole complaint over subtitles is a boomer thing

[@kurks001]

I dont know if a shoebill has ever attacked someone, but the way they clack their beak sounds just like a machine gun so I'm not gonna step to em.

[@Chelts]

I hate this reductive view of everything. Shapiro liked Dune but the right especially the religious right have no ability to analyze art. This films main characters life being devoted to vengeance is a tragedy and that he chose hate for his enemies over holding his children is a waste. The director doesn't lead you by the hand to these conclusions but it's there.

[@bafelix89]

it pretty clearly shows that the concepts of honor and revenge are short minded and idiotic. it doesn't even come close to idolized them. honestly if people don't understand that then they're isn't much we can do for them at this point

[@Narglepuff]

Right - it's based off the same story that inspired Hamlet I think? I skipped that reading assignment in high school, but as I understand it, it's not a happy, inspiring story that endorses the characters' actions. Same with Dune - Paul literally compares himself to Genghis Khan and Hitler in the sequel lmao.

[@bafelix89]

@@Narglepuff yeah it's based on the same old norse saga that inspired hamlet. And from what I've read the movie seems to be the director trying to create a visualization of a skald telling that story. Which is why there's some ridiculous imagery juxtaposed with extreme historical accuracy

[@tewodrosii2875]

@@bafelix89 short minded and idiotic if you want to live like a little child your whole life. Meanwhile, MY family had no problem getting revenge on the KKK. Noone leaves this world Alice, why not leave as a legend?

[@Dawt_Calm]

I'm a human, just like you. Boy do I love sweating. I'm going to convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later, then go shopping.

[@mitchellwood4133]

Ron "I'm excited about Tyler Palko" Jaworski

[@chrislangstaff]

Triggered me with the LOTR take, won me back with the Midsommar take.

[@cat_city2009]

Midsommar is just the horror trope of scary exotic barbarians but what if they were the whites?

[@AlZ-oy4si]

@42:00 No libs in a Viking longboat, tis true.

[@homerco213]

I for one welcome our insect overlords.

[@GHOSTPLANEtable]

Mystery of the egg is which came first

[@World_Wide_Web_Wyyzrd]

Classic chicken or the egg

[@friendoftheshow8117]

Can we have a hall of fame for episode titles?

[@johndrocky4377]

“Raw ground beef 🥩 “ huh?? 😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@OrinLinwe]

It's a little hacky to say, but "wrestling" really is such a perfect shorthand for the current state of a lot of media, where you "have to deliver content, at all times, regardless of merit, under the guise of earnestly held beliefs". It leads directly to what they're describing with that film-article. Other than dunking on it, there's zero reason to even try to approach it in a good-faith manner. I have to assume that writers who do churn are actually accutely aware of what's going on, and how incredibly depressing it is to have your job literally be a "doing work"-simulator (it doesn't excuse its existence, but it's just a bleak thing to think about).

[@KilgoreTroutAsf]

30:30 If this guy really believes this he should live in daycare for the rest of his life [...] every bit of culture is just the thinnest gruel, it's stretching a teaspoon of cornstarch in five liters of water Felix is a goddamn artist of metaphor.

[@DogAmongMen]

Robert Ed-grrrrr

[@chazblank2717]

Have these guys ever reviewed Pathfinder?

[@robertdegiorno8690]

21:07 northman discussion starts here

[@OstrichRidingCowboy]

People with COD-brain: ...what if I could get the jump on a cassowary...

[@footballpharaoh5469]

I wonder if this was recorded before the news of the Roe vs Wade leak.

[@josejaimes-ramos1546]

There's probably a day or two lag between recording and release

[@mikito00]

This was monday. The leak was on Tuesday, i think.

[@howilearned2stopworrying508]

based green pill putting the 'rad fun' in radical fundamentalism

[@zainmudassir2964]

There is always the green pill 😏💚

[@FuckYourSelf99]

Xtreme Muslims

[@zainmudassir2964]

Hey Chapo boys

[@johnpelosi4117]

"If he believes this....He should live in Day Care for the rest of his life!" ha ha ha ha! Praise Odin! Father of Frasier!

[@deathmagneto-soy]

Everybody is a larper now.

[@ownificationify]

We have nothing else to do unless we can get our shit together and do a 26 of July

[@marcodallolio9746]

we've been larping life

[@John_Malka-tits]

The White version of the Bechdel test! Does it have one poc? Do they talk about anything besides the Whites? Then it doesn't pass the White Bechdel test

[@xalrath]

feelin' like white bechdel

[@LordJagd]

You can’t be serious

[@John_Malka-tits]

@@LordJagd we're way ahead of you guys here in the States, Jörg

[@johnanderson8714]

Buffalo ny

[@theangryfinger5795]

An Eeeeeegggggg

[@function0077]

There is a saying, "God created man, and Sam Colt made them equal". I wonder if some conservative men consider modern firearms, figuratively, to be a double-edged sword. In ancient times (i.e. long before firearms) most men could physically dominate most women without having to worry about too many negative consequences. Nowadays, if a man tries to physically dominate a woman, she can easily fill him full of bullets. One could say modern firearms empower women.

[@zainmudassir2964]

Women strong together 💪

[@LogjammerDbaggagecling-qr5ds]

The same applies to minorities too. That exact fear is where the first gun control legislation came from.

[@OrinLinwe]

...does the Harry Potter girl know that - in the movies, which I'm assuming she's rolling with - the ones that have most of the bathroom shenanigans have a pretty young Harry Potter? Like, even by libertarian standards?

[@bigbrother787]

They put freaks and weirdos in positions of power because they're more easily controlled through blackmail

[@ThompsceCT08]

Where can I find the erotic Harry Potter musical!!!

[@julymagnus493]

It's on 24/7 over the PA system in Hell.

[@tewodrosii2875]

This episode touches on the very thing that liberals keep doing that drives me to want to drink as far as culture war against the right: its basically to label anything in culture that's fun but not there necessarily to moralize the "correct" morals as "problematic" or "toxic" Its like...fine, call it out when you see it, but this rate all I can see is them doing is driving away more people to the republicans by insisting that the only way you'll be allowed in the club is to take MCU tv shows seriously or speak out about the toxic masculinity of the fast & furious movies. I'm not voting for either party, but to go into Donna Brazile brain for a bit, why alienate expanding ones voter base by playing to the hysterics of one that is rapidly losing relevance?

[@bigbrother787]

It's because they're not going to do anything to actually improve material reality for their voters. It's a distraction from that.

[@tewodrosii2875]

@@bigbrother787 correct o Mundo, my fellow worker! Sorry, I'm just reminded of the time I saw my moms old coworker in the UAW knock out Steven crowder on our state capital lawn. I was not nearby when it happened, but when I got there, I was too high to care. A buncha capitol cops everywhere. Not even guns out or tact'd up, just a bunch of teachers comforting kids who fell off a jungle gym

[@tewodrosii2875]

@@futon2345 ok.....and? You think we'll get there by making people praise the most anhedonic dreck?

[@dicklarson5253]

@Aditya Chavarkar no and if you ask again ill vote for trump in 20224

[@wafflepoet5437]

@@tewodrosii2875 Your mom’s old coworker was with the UAW _and_ the IBEW? The brother defending himself from that cunt Crowder was an electrician.

[@sandiaYpescado]

Who wrote this Northman review?

[@abstractalien12345]

"All politics is now overfocused on culture, which is dumb." Arent the chapo boys part of that with this episode? Primaries for midterms are ongoing, but you'd never know it listening here

[@abstractalien12345]

@@harrybirchall3308 nah, man. Podcasts are political commentary, movies are culture, spending a whole episode talking about one is overfocusing. The primaries are what should be being focused on instead of cultural navel gazing

[@qwerty6574]

Nobody making over 100k listens to Chapo Losers only

[@John_Malka-tits]

Primaries and midterms are sports for people with 4 year+ degrees

[@andr0oS]

Nope. Birds still are not real.

[@5508Vanderdekken]

Probably the most boring/lame "joke" going on right now but hey, do what you love

[@andr0oS]

Yeah, okay. Sure.

[@nathanielibrahim3492]

I'd love to see an argument between Chapo in this episode and the Chapo that reviewed 300.

[@tewodrosii2875]

They were still right about 300: THATS a fash ass movie. The Persians are the good guys in it

[@johanstefonski401]

Look out everyone. This pedantic witless boob is pointing out a perceived contradiction. Time to change our opinions and burn our Gods.

[@nicolev2028]

What’s with Felix and polish women? Liz Franczak is polish. So was Bukowski

[@rpemulis]

never heard of them.

[@berdyderg900]

Many people are polish, what?

[@zeamaiz945]

Slava Franczak!

[@lanceblankenship9995]

US abortion law is well to left of every European country when it comes to the fundamental question of when does a child receive a protective interest from the state. US abortion policy is closer to that of North Korea or Vietnam than to France or even Sweden. In Europe, the process was to legalize abortion in a limited and regulated matter. The public went along with this and only slowly did cultural norm changes vitiate the laws in practice. Few people were kept aware of the abuses under law (e.g. in Germany until recently it was technically illegal to even advertise abortion services). In contrast the US basically made abortion on demand the required policy up through the end of the second trimester (with some later fudging as the definition of "viability" changed). This was wildly out of sync with the median voter (which varies by how you phrase the question, but might be as early as week 6 of pregnancy based on Harris polling over the Texas case). And something just shy of 50% of Americans pretty often will endorse banning abortion except for cases of rape, incest, or threat to maternal life. Settling a hotly contested issue with a near total victory for one side tends to go over poorly in general. Worse, any discussion of reverting US abortion policy to something more European and less North Korean is pretty much instantly met with a barrage of rhetoric alleging misogyny, bad faith, and authoritarianism. End of the day, this decision will most likely double or triple the cost of surgical abortions (plane ticket instead of bus fare, three days off work instead of two), create a cat-and-mouse game with telemedicine medical abortions, and mostly result in increased contraception adherence (particularly if Poland is any guide). Politics will be tricky, and will largely depend on what the states and congress do in response, but really this decision is wildly closer to the median voter than any of the much derided (even by pro-choice liberals) meanderings of Roe. It will be quite shocking to the left side of politics and we will see if they can ride a reaction wave, negotiate down to a median voter acceptable compromise, or be forced to hold for maximalist positions and solidify the Republican gains from this issue.

[@Asrahn]

"US abortion policy is closer to that of North Korea or Vietnam than to France or even Sweden." based af

[@yfna1]

@@Asrahn Because leaving out countries like Australia and France, with similar restrictions, doesn't fit the narrative. Also, many nations in Europe allow abortion after 12 weeks in cases of economic hardship, mental or physical health of the mother or child, etc.. Access, cost, public funding in the US is also far behind most Europe.

[@tewodrosii2875]

@@yfna1 Australia isnt a real country. you're thinking of New Zealand. and France sucks, ask my ancestors in Algeria or my cousins whos mom is Vietnamese

[@Asrahn]

@@yfna1 It's of course propagandist trite, the usual pro-life nonsense masquerading as the "rational" over the ostensibly emotional appeals of pro-choice people. I really like the angle of abortion rights being "wildly out of sync with the median voter" and the implications thereof though, considering matters like the utter unpopularity of people like MLK and the Civil Rights Movement at the time.

[@bigbrother787]

The whole abortion 'debate' is missing the forest for the trees. The primary reason people cite for getting abortions is economic, they can't afford a child. The 'life' offered by conservative liberals is a life in poverty, equally barbaric, the Liberal liberals 'choice' is between brining a child into the world and poverty. Until we win the class war, culture war is meaningless.

[@ownificationify]

You lost me when you said the qanon shaman has a good physique, especially compared to Skarsgård in that movie holy shit what a comparison 😂😂😂

[@grodius]

Hot takes from the msnbc boysss

[@5508Vanderdekken]

Yeah, I can only listen to people who cosplay as MLers or Tankies who still live lives equal to any American. Like, ffs, you're just doing a different version of the liberal morality shit they talk about

[@jordanthomas3005]

"Movies make people do things"- it isn't that though- it's that movies can be reflective and also provide a base for ideology to seep in, the "whining" is just people acknowledging this and suggesting that people don't see it. maybe that's why it's bombing? because people actively choosing not to see it because of the vibes, idk chapo really cuts a thin line around culture

[@bsh819]

Why do the most acerbic people love children's movies? Why do the nicest people love ICP? Just cause someone can be clever and justify their expertise by saying this begets that or this reflects that between products and people doesn't mean anything. It's easy to barf out interpretations and opinions, but the burden of proof is on the culture police that any of this matters in the real world.

[@ChangedMyNameFinally69]

@@bsh819 A novel helped start the Civil War, another led to the FDA being created. Sci-fi is directly credited with helping invent certain technologies.

[@bsh819]

@@ChangedMyNameFinally69 Again, burden of proof. Thousands of novels did no such thing. And remember that wasn't remotely the point Sinclair was trying to make. The equivalent would be some modern media work trying to celebrate non-conforming gender identities or similar, and that leading to a massive anti-education backla- wait..

[@bsh819]

@@ChangedMyNameFinally69 Point being, even if a given set of media was going to have a non-insignificant impact on the wider world, who exactly should be charged with predicting what it will be? And why do the people self-appointed to the task suck so bad at it?

[@ChangedMyNameFinally69]

@@bsh819 The people as a whole, not some sort of committee

[@bbegins10]

How does this discussion of Norseman reconcile with Chapo's take on 300? One is adult cinema showing life how it is (though historically inaccurate with meat etc), the other is right wing propaganda? Contradicting yourselves

[@jonsinobi]

Aesthetics and internal consistency, mostly. According to Chapo, 300 looked like shit even when it came out, and the battle scenes were boring and artless. On top of that, the historical element (as per Miller's source material) is racist by design to flatter post-9-11 contemporary American audiences through selective a-historicity, rather than Eggers' more interesting approach to history that alienates historical narratives from a modern viewer's imagination. Propaganda by definition necessitates intention and Frank Miller/ Zach Snyder wear their political peccadilloes on their respective sleeves to such a degree that it makes their work more predictable and less interesting than it could have been.

[@mitchhosking5599]

It's not even a contradiction. The fucking Persian Empire didn't have orcs and mummies.

[@feydrautha012]

@@mitchhosking5599 Not true, Mitch-the Persians conquered large regions of the world with their giant mutants who have knives for hands.

[@jonsinobi]

@@mitchhosking5599 Yes. And it's not even the mere presence of Persian orcs, it's how nakedly certain facts are invented, others ignored in ways that clearly mirror modern American right-wing rhetoric (unswarthy Spartans not being "boy-lovers", sexually promiscuous and multi-ethnic persians). When you fine-tune your "artistic vision" to this degree, it has to give some pause.

[@howilearned2stopworrying508]

me calling into Don Imus in the 1990's 'First Bill Clinton is a horndog now u want me to vote for him? Contradicting yourself'

[@franklee6746]

Based: Telling everyone that Trump's cringe political career where he achieved half of what any generic GOP politician would has nothing to do with Fascism and if you've ever said it was, that is a straight up KY move. Small D: "Yeah I'm totes okay with calling out Trumpers Fash when it looks like that, am I right Patreonistas!" I can't tell if these guys are pathetic from a need for cash, or would do it for free sometimes.

[@dbarker7794]

We live under a fascist government. Doesn't have anything to do with Trump or the guys on this show. Maybe read up on fascism.

[@Louie_The_Dago]

God, Felix is so unfunny

[@tewodrosii2875]

to YOU

[@Louie_The_Dago]

@@tewodrosii2875 apparently 3 other people agree

[@tewodrosii2875]

@@Louie_The_Dago don't care. Midwest solidarity. His humor would kill up here in Michigan

[@Louie_The_Dago]

@@tewodrosii2875 I'm in Michigan and all my stand up friends hate him. He's a combination of family guy cutaway jokes and Dennis Millers pursuit of obscure references. It's terrible. "This would be like if solid snake was in hp Lovecrafts horror of dunwich but it was directed by Eli Roth but produced as a Pixar cartoon, hyuk derp!" Look, I just did a Felix joke!

[@tewodrosii2875]

@@Louie_The_Dago maybe in Traverse City, but I'm in East Lansing. My point stands.

[@8523wsxc]

The Northman was the crappiest movie I've seen since The Lighthouse. It absolutely deserves its audience and I hope they fully embrace all of his terrible, laughable shit movies and his pathetic career.

[@neverforever4787]

🤨

[@8523wsxc]

@@neverforever4787 Exactly, single-cell organisms like yourself.

[@jackfrench7176]

It's not that bad but it isn't like incredible anything. Lots of missed opportunities in the film and some scenes were way too long

[@8523wsxc]

@@jackfrench7176 His psychedelic metaphysical scenes are just ridiculous at this point and those action scenes... I felt nothing but second-hand embarrassment for everyone involved. I really don't think anyone needed "Hamlet, but really banal and stupid".

[@liamboudicca9654]

I hope you're not the type to say some edgy shit like that then get high and watch fear and loathing in Las Vegas for the 50th time ? 🤦‍♂️😂