Velma: Nobody Trusts Hollywood and We're All Very Tired

JLongbone, ‪@ncala‬ , ‪@thisisjcgreen9646‬ watch Episodes 1 & 2 of HBOMax's Velma
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#velma #scoobydoo #reaction

[@JLongbone]

Velma stunned me to silence ►Join SubscribeStar! www.subscribestar.com/jlongbone OR ►Donate! www.paypal.me/BoneyLong ►Odysee odysee.com/@JLongbone:3 ►Twitter twitter.com/JonsLongs

[@Hinatachan360]

Thank you for this wonderful birthday gift. 🤣🤣🤣

[@cynicalperson161]

The woman was too stunned to speak.

[@fallous]

Sure Velma is a shit-show, but at least you got to reference The Thing!

[@ayethein7681]

@@Hinatachan360 Dammit I solved the mystery. Velma is the killer. When she aciuses Fred (who doesn't even know her) of chearing on her, it shows she is so narcissistic that she could do murders and not know it. When it comes out , she will be excused as the vics. were attractive to straight white males and so had it coming.

[@mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901]

“It’s an unfuckable force vs an unscrewable object” That one caught me off guard.

[@eriktatos]

Fire 🔥 …tis true comedy

[@dronefury]

I laughed into a coughing fit. Fucking 🪙 Gold 🪙

[@mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901]

@@oolbean1123 Yes.

[@ab-gail]

Same. Some actual funny in spite of the show Velma.

[@reginaphalange9417]

"What happens when the nonexistent bumps against the decrepit?"

[@rockjockcanada]

I accidentally called Velma a "Mindy Sue" and now I want to stand by it.

[@KlutzyNinjaKitty]

Honestly, Mindy Sue works great for all the politically charged Mary Sues. Like Batwoman (both of them,) She-Hulk, that one Elf from Santa Inc., etc.

[@phantomgoblin5540]

Mindy sue is just everything a Mary sue is just y'know raceswapped to steal its credit. Thank you so much i will now use this in every RS endeavor

[@CRIMI0N]

That's just your Truthlexia coming out.

[@ember2.031]

Friendly reminder: Fred is 15 in this show. In fact all of the characters are minors.

[@Jack-uo7gz]

I can't wait to see them react to episodes four and six with that in mind.

[@frug5629]

And good lord does it make the 'humor' that much more creepy.

[@sayxxdx]

They're minors and they have sexually subjective scenes. The fact the show is more focused on its weird agenda it completely has this *_wooosh_* moment. Also what's with this awful trend with adult cartoons where characters are self centered douche bags? The jokes are literally centered around those traits and it's supposed to be relatable somehow. It's relatable if you're a narcissistic sociopath with zero moral ambiguity.

[@RoseDeDax]

Classic Hollywood

[@thejasminedragonmerchant6843]

Yep. Fred is depicted as 15 and gets socially crushed for the apparent crime of late puberty (an issue entirely out of his control, no less) and that's not even taking into account the court case humiliation, Velma's entire... EVERYTHING, the emotional and mental infantilisation by his parents, etc. Honestly, considering that other characters on the show get similarly unhealthy treatment I have to wonder if the writers just have no idea how to write for functional, actual teenage characters instead of extremely edgy, traumatised adults using the script for a therapy substitute with the characters reskinned for convenience. There's a lot of lines that feel VERY specific in how they get worded.

[@AkiraLionPilot]

Velma: *is rude to everyone* Also Velma: “NOBODY LIKES ME 😭😭😭”

[@HungryForTastyFoodAndComicArt]

Velma's middle name is *"Frosk"* .

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

Gotta cash in on that victimhood. Who is the cause that led to said victimhood does not matter.

[@Gurbo8]

"They call me the thief" "What are you in for?" "Murder" There, I made the scene funnier

[@DemonicRemption]

@DutchKirby Yes. Yes you did... I read your comment before I made it to the end, and when I saw that seen I was like:"That one comment I read where Fred should've replied with 'murder' did make this funnier... That's just sad..."

[@ThinkDontRepeatAScript]

“We’re all tired” is a great sentiment. It’s not hatred. It’s not vitriol. It’s exhaustion.

[@DemonicRemption]

@killyournostalgia7552 Says you, I'm just filled with apathy at this point.

[@ThinkDontRepeatAScript]

@@DemonicRemption Then why did you bother to comment? The “I’m above all this” schtick is equally exhausting.

[@DemonicRemption]

@@ThinkDontRepeatAScript Sorry, I wasn't clear. My apathy is due to overexposure, not my massive ego... See I made the mistake of exposing myself to fake leftist rhetorics since 2012.(I call them "fake leftists" because unlike the far right loonies they combat, they don't mean what they say as they just want attention...) But as a result since they repeat the same talking points over and over and over I'm just apathetic at this point. I just don't care enough to give the usual criticisms, because what's the point at this point?

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

Then comes apathy.

[@ThinkDontRepeatAScript]

@@chazzitz-wh4ly We’ve passed that. We don’t even care that people get shot up schools, die of preventable illnesses, and work more hours for less pay and higher housing costs than anytime in the world. But this is what we focus on. Not to lecture. I’m sure I’m part of it.

[@michaelstrong5383]

Velma has a lower IMDB score than Batwoman. Let that sink in.

[@StanleyNumber427]

It even managed to be lower than Dragon Ball Evolution and Santa Inc.

[@asdf12369]

Batwoman is fucking hilarious though

[@insulttothehumanrace3807]

A lower score than High Guardian Spice... after about 30x the votes, mind you.

[@isaiahgarraway5568]

Of course Batwoman is cinema

[@sherlock7898]

sink like hbo's velma ratings

[@genebaker511]

Velma - "Do you want to know why I wear these glasses?" Me - "Because you have poor eyesight."

[@shcdemolisher]

Or rather, "Because the world hasn't made you blind out of spite from ripping your eyes out!"

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

That’s a better explanation than what the show gave us. Apparently, they belonged to her mother, whom VeLmA and her Father mistreated, before she disappeared.

[@anonnyanonymous4800]

This raceswapping for Velma is just one of many examples that disproves that complete lie that, “They just cast the best person” when it comes to raceswapping in live action media. Why change the color of a cartoon character? Why couldn’t she voice a white character? Because they specifically set out to change the race of the character going into it. They never even gave a white voice actor a chance to audition for the role.

[@TheRisky9]

I think about Elden Ring and Malenia, who is everyone's favorite character and the "face" of the game. She is a white red-headed woman. She's voiced by a black woman. And the moment she coldly says, "I am Malenia, Blade of Miquella" you're wanting to use your "curl into a ball" gesture. I can't even imagine anyone else voicing that character. Not even vets like Jennifer Hale or Laura Bailey could come close to the level of intimidation Pippa Warner pulled off. And I am hoping to see Pippa in many, many other roles afterward and hope she becomes a legend in game voice acting. Another favorite of mine is Kimberly Brooks. She voiced Rei in Fatal Frame III and probably did a bunch others. In that role, she was able to convey empathy, fragility, femininity, and strength. It's very hard to dub a voice from Japanese to English, and she pulled it off.

[@kingbash6466]

@@TheRisky9 Bro, Melanie was black the entire time? Damn! That's crazy. This is why I love voice acting. You'll never expect talent like this.

[@kodybuffettwilson]

Don't settle for merely calling it a "race-swap", it's a skin-suit. Nothing in this show has anything to do with Scooby Doo beyond names and outfits.

[@xtremegamer7198]

@@kingbash6466 Honestly I would not mind if Malenia was black, may not fit, but she is a really good character.

[@RanMouri82]

@@TheRisky9 Only played a teeny bit of Elden Ring (so far), but I've played a lot of Dark Souls, and just remember curling into a ball to make a giant bird carry me off. What's the context for the gesture here?

[@kingbash6466]

Burstangel's laugh alone is funnier than the entirety of Velma so far.

[@sinjin8576]

"I was genetically engineered to be a K-pop star but the western Gene's won out." Had me fuckin rolling

[@mikeyjamieson4715]

I will give this show credit for one thing: it brought people regardless or gender, race, sexuality, religion or political affiliation together to talk about how this show makes a complete mockery of the Scooby Doo IP.

[@silverscorpio24]

And renewed love for Fred

[@mohamedbelkacem9889]

​@@silverscorpio24Fred is the best

[@grandarkfang_1482]

The fact that people keep complaining that the film is getting a Season 2 because of all the "hate-watching" don't know how contracts work.

[@TrueBuddhaCat]

Plus, it's similar to how the Netflix Castlevania series started out with 4 episodes but then the second season had 8 episodes or basically it was the rest of the episodes for season 1 because they were not sure if the show was going to work or not(though with Castlevania it actually was good) Here, it's clear this already has a contract all set up and they ordered a certain number of episodes but given the absolute HORRENDUS reception/reputation this show has this is only going to have 2 or 3 1/2 seasons and that's it

[@RanMouri82]

Heck, this is the first show in a while I'm glad is getting a 2nd season because of how terrible it is. It's also reminding folks of how great original Scooby Doo was.

[@PhantomOfTheKnight]

It’s not just contracts but also the fact animation takes MUCH longer to make than live-action productions: what they call “season 2” may just be another batch of episodes they already had down the pipeline. Best example is the She-Ra reboot: the entire show got dumped in less than 12 months because the show was green-lit for specific amount of episodes and they just chopped them up into “seasons” to try to pad out distribution.

[@kingbash6466]

On one hand, I'm pissed that this show was greenlit a second season long before it even came out compared to the numerous other shows that got cancelled after one, but on the other hand, I'm not the one being blamed for "hate-watching" this show into succeed (not that I'm actually paying for an HBO Max subscription for this fucking show.)

[@chesterstevens8870]

I don't think your prognosis holds water: there are plenty of shows with just as much name recognition as the Scooby Doo franchise that got squashed midway through their first season -- Cowboy Bebop and Resident Evil, just to name two. Unless you have some insider knowledge from HBO regarding Velma's contractual obligations, I really don't see how it would play in here.

[@RogueFox2185]

So there’s a plot point further down the line in EP5 that brings “Scoobi” into this show in the form of a secret government project, given that Gigi will technically be the fifth member of the gang and the method that the other previous victims end up being murdered with their brains removed… Well given this show, I wouldn’t put it past them to do it. Also it should be noted that Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (A kid’s film mind you) pulled off showing what a panic attack actually looks when Puss himself is coming to terms with the literal personification of Death hunting him down and compare that to Mindy’s self insert who’s “panic attacks” look like she’s just having a bad trip.

[@lorddolamite6141]

That scene with Puerrito resting his head on Puss to calm him down was amazing. For a second, I thought they were going to the modern movie thing and undercut it with a dumb joke, but nope, they actually let the moment sit.

[@michaelstrong5383]

When an animated family movie with a talking cat deals with a sensitive topic way better than your """adult""" cartoon, pack up, go home, you're through.

[@RanMouri82]

I wouldn't even consider Velma as having panic attacks but hallucinating.

[@icycrusader1947]

@@RanMouri82 Panic hallucinations perhaps? Hallucinatory attacks? Not sure what you call this.

[@RealTrishUna]

Saw that Puss in Boots movie this week just for kicks and was SO not prepared for how great it was going to be. I was super impressed.

[@okami-chan9772]

Thanks to this show, people are now realizing how Hollywood is so obsessed with Meta jokes to the point it no longer becomes funny... And of course thanks to the backlash Mindy is getting, she dug herself in a deeper hole when everybody on social media are digging up all the shady things that she said and done in the past; especially a clip of her on the Conan show admitting she assaulted and threatened the actor Lee Pace years ago when they were working on The Mindy Project.

[@petergriffin-tu6ug]

good

[@xFlareLeon]

If you look into her relationship with her father, things make a lot of sense for the way she acts.

[@RanMouri82]

Thank you for joining the merry crew skewering this horror. "Is she trying to be Daria?" Yes, she is. And failing super hard.

[@Ramsey276one]

1000% THIS

[@frug5629]

And annoying enough for me to wanna headbutt solid concrete.

[@austin9568AuraMasterDX]

If I had a nickel for everytime an unlikable female protagonist decided to twerk in a "comedy" show, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't alot but it's weird that it happened twice.

[@mechanicpluto2430]

And it's happened two times more than I'd care for it to

[@sangheiliwarrior86]

They also did it in "turning red"

[@TheBlackAntagonist]

@@sangheiliwarrior86 He said an unlikeable character, not a somewhat relatable dork.

[@johannesseyfried7933]

Doofenschmirtz: "Man, if I had a nickel every time somebody quoted me, I could probably *buy* the Tri-State Area by now."

[@mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901]

Turning Red, Velma, Powerpuff Girls, She-Hulk… That seems like more than just 2 nickels.

[@TheChildofAuraReborn]

Somebody already pointed this out, but if you want to make an adult-themed murder mystery/detective cartoon… You already have that Mike Tyson show, that proves that you can make something original and successful without having to appropriate a beloved IP meant to be enjoyed in a family setting.

[@ember2.031]

Exactly, like this didn't need to be made.

[@Shockguey]

Or use one of the other Hanna Barbera IPs. Imagine the Chan Clan solving the mystery of all the local Asian Hate crimes in Oakland.

[@heropath34.vaselisc.35]

Cool to have some animated detective series... And please no more comedies! Just more serious but also cool....

[@housewilma4904]

or MYSTERY SKULLS though that is a musical based.

[@simonpetrikov3992]

@@Shockguey “why are so many of these perpetrators black?” Note:I had to make a joke about the demographics of Asian hate crimes

[@neilprice513]

Modern woke writing is "This happened, then this happened and then this happened" without any follow trough or setup and payoff. It's just a string of poorly thought out ideas, forced into a linear timeline and hoping a story would emerge.

[@ubermaster134]

This writing is encapsulated by the Memberberries in south "Member this thing yeah? you totally member that happening"

[@KelShu]

I hate how unlikable they made Velma in this show; she's rude to everyone, racist, a selfish & inconsiderate friend, an unapologetic body-shamer, literally eats out of the garbage, and is just downright unpleasant

[@jeremyallen5974]

Not to mention she pisses in the shower and doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom. Wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if Kaling actually does that

[@normalgraham]

You know why Fred is the only legit funny character in the show? Because you're supposed to be laughing at him, not with him. He's allowed to be wrong. The show wants you to like Velma, so every time she's made to look foolish it's because someone else is failing to understand how great she is, not because she's a sociopathic misandrist. I don't understand why this principle is so unfathomable to so many comedy writers. It's the same thing that separates the gentle chuckles of a show like F*R*I*E*N*D*S from the belly-laughs of It's Always Sunny

[@axiss5840]

The idea of there being any type of humor besides 'pointing out the joke we just made' is lost on these people.

[@scrungful]

The only good thing about this is that it brought a bit of attention to mystery incorporated

[@michaelstrong5383]

This show *_WISHES_* it was as good as Mystery Incorporated

[@dandydrew613]

My heart goes out to Mystery Incorporated and to whichever writer wrote Fred's lines in it.

[@kingbash6466]

This show sorta gave Be Cool Scooby-Doo a second wind in popularity, and I'm at least grateful for that.

[@xtremegamer7198]

@@kingbash6466 Velma and Be Cool are basically polar opposites. Velma: Good artstyle and animation, shit writing and characters. Be Cool: Shit artstyle, decent writing and characters.

[@poissonsumac7922]

It worked lol, I bought all the episodes of Mystery Inc. But I just got the full collection of Supernatural too so now I'm tackling that for a LONG time first

[@themetallicblur1315]

"They can't keep getting away with it! They CAN'T keep getting away with it!!" - Jesse Pinkman

[@brunoramos9747]

Funny how everybody is looking for the murderer but everybody is not looking at Velma when she clearly fits the description

[@RanMouri82]

As the season progressed with Velma's hallucinations, I thought it would be great if she *was* the murderer. But no, that would be cool, so they'd never do that.

[@Laarye]

My friend had an idea: Since ONLY actors that ARE whatever a character is can play the character, then ONLY white actors that openly admit to being racist should play racist characters That would certainly make things interesting

[@Kernwadi]

"I'm a beautiful, strong, intelligent, black woman." -Scooby Doobius

[@jordanjoestar-turniptruck]

The sweetest thing is how this show has Tumblr defending the straight white male Fred as their precious boi and drawing fanart of the cast as white. TUMBLR.

[@Higesgirl]

BurstAngel'ls laugh gives me Fringy vibes and I love it.

[@grandarkfang_1482]

Finally, a laugh to surpass Fringy's.

[@InvitalPulse]

Please do all the episodes. This was funnier than Velma itself.

[@Pha5ma]

I second that

[@TheRoflcer]

No, leave JlongBone and her friends Sanity alone!

[@motherfreya2840]

I love the classic Shaggy impressions sprinkled in.

[@frug5629]

@@motherfreya2840 I hope Jack will return, he is always a trip on these videos.

[@ScottE-2]

"It's an unfuckable force vs an unscrewable object" I am stealing the "Unfuckable force" I also had a better time laughing with the reaction than witnessing what happened in the show itself. I don't think all of you are ready for episode 5... They ruin something so sacred I never thought my heart would feel it beat half a second slower. It's bad, hope y'all are ready for it. But BurstAngel is easily one of the more fun hosts you've had join along side you. His laugh lifted my lungs.

[@cannon_tortoise]

The FOUR production companies that made this trash all being to closely tied to Mindy Kaling (save WB Animation) makes a lot of sense why nobody is stopping her from doing this.

[@JadaCarlton]

you know, 'Be Cool, Scooby-Doo' doesn't look so bad anymore.

[@cuterblueloveuwulilathepig3556]

True

[@gwem1979]

This show is improved by commentary mainly because you can’t hear the dialogue and the commentary is invariably funnier. Also, ncala’s voice… My god it’s magnificent

[@anthonyguidas2012]

Batwoman: I’m the most annoying and offensive show ever made. Velma: hold my beer 🍺

[@ramiel3759]

Batwoman is not annoying,quite the opposite its peak comedy

[@Kernwadi]

I love having my favourite childhood cartoons destroyed and violated just because someone had issues while growing up and decided to pour them into a script...

[@toastedbabybuns1000]

Also it probably wasn't the show's intention but the only likeable character is Fred. He's relatable, somewhat funny and the only character I feel sympathetic for.

[@jextra1313]

That's it, he's the only one with flaws, everyone else is a protagonist.

[@cptndunsel2670]

He reminds me a bit of Dean Venture, but I feel guilty making that comparison because Venture Bros is a way, waaaaaay better show. I don't want to tarnish it by association.

[@kenzieuchiha1191]

Yeah, he's meant to be the punching bag, both figuratively *and* literally. But he's the only one to feel an ounce of sympathy because his flaws and insecurities are constantly the butt of some shitty joke that doesn't land or is hardly even a joke to begin with.

[@DarkStarInsomniac]

Y'know what could be really fun? The Mystery Gang... but old. Has anyone gone that direction before?

[@sarahb.7175]

Ooh, story idea!! But I'll use original characters.

[@zrc1514]

They also specifically aged them all down to 15 in this show. FIFTEEN!!

[@JustTooDamnHonest]

Episode 1: Made me want to snap my own neck Episode 2: Made me want to gouge my own eyes out This show is just a medium for Mindy to air her own grievances and low self esteem and not to mention her own fragile ego is on full display and her jokes are just as funny as taking nails to a chalkboard.

[@frug5629]

I tried to laugh man, but even with the Jlong crew in play. Holy shit this show was depressing to listen to. It's not just bad, its downright insulting. I know it's not worth getting pissed off over, but with this toxic sludge. I fucking can't stand it. None of the show is witty or clever. It's mean spirited, creepy, racist, and just trashy from start to finish. Mindy Kaling and company that worked on this atrocity, do humanity a favor, and NEVER EVER go near media again.

[@mastermonarch]

did it make you want to watch another channel? that's what the smart choice has been since the first tv rolled off the line

[@JustTooDamnHonest]

@@mastermonarch or the other smart choice is not watch any TV at all. Because for a long while now and with the exception of a few other shows there hasn't been that much good shows out these days.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

Every show she writes or stars in is the exact same; she is always some obnoxious, eternal victim, desperate, clingy girl.

[@SilvrSavior]

#spitewashing is the perfect verb to describe the writing for this show.

[@HanaNoMachi]

"Why are you Indian with a white last name?" **LAUGHS IN TECH SCAMMER**

[@petergriffin-tu6ug]

"velma just tried to commit murder we are just gonna ignore that" YES WE ALL SUPPOSED TO IGNORE THIS FACT

[@mr.rich-low-pitch6570]

"We killed an oompa loompa...I don't...I-I don't know what's...I...WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" I laughed way too hard at that. 😆

[@patrickkelmer6290]

“Indians with english last names” Tbf they could be anglo-indians - though anglo-indians don’t usually have actual indian first names like “Aman”.

[@sangheiliwarrior86]

Wouldn't one of 'em be huwite if that was the case?

[@patrickkelmer6290]

@@sangheiliwarrior86 not necessarily, as it usually means that one of their paternal ancestors was British - anyhow the anglo-indians then married among each other only for generations, what remains are the surnames, often still speaking english, and a strong Christian faith.

[@sangheiliwarrior86]

@@patrickkelmer6290 I read that in Roger's voice.

[@patrickkelmer6290]

@@sangheiliwarrior86 *Excellent*

[@VueiyVisarelli]

The hallucination animations look solid. It's a shame their talent was wasted on this show.

[@mercaius]

When the lampshade never comes off, the audience can't see shit.

[@rinslittlesheepling1652]

Fred was the only funny character in this shitshow. Can we have "douchy Fred" spinoff out of this mess, with him eventually growing into Fred as we know him? That would have been hilarious.

[@minespatch]

Cause character development is way more relatable than a snarky asshole who gets everything she wants.

[@fantasticmrmonk]

A show about character growth for a white male focus? I like to dream too but let’s be real here…

[@VueiyVisarelli]

"I am looking at a picture of Scrappy-Doo tenderly and now going, 'Perhaps I did treat you too harsh[ly].'" 🤣😂

[@chefboiardeeznutz9881]

They're in high school...but people's legs are getting cut off, walking around with guns, and falling out of lockers with their head cut open. What the hell is going on?!?!?

[@shcdemolisher]

Yeah, in real life that school would be shut down and people sent to a max security prison!

[@chefboiardeeznutz9881]

@@shcdemolisher I mean, not in the hood maybe 😭😂

[@Whyexes]

It physically pains me to have it revealed that Glenn Howerton is doing the voice of Fred. What an utter waste of monumental comedy talent, holy shit. Also its weird to watch a show that is so openly anti-white. Like its literally just openly racist. Normally they mask it A LITTLE.

[@KelShu]

This show is an IP parasite, the only reason that it got off the ground was because it attached itself to Scooby Doo's brand.

[@MikeBarbarossa]

This all boils down to " White guys, amirite?" and "lesbian kiss, hot, j'yeah!"

[@sheeplywaltz5183]

Why does Jack want the hex girls in this show??? He knows damn well that if they were included at least one of them will be overweight

[@hope-cat4894]

They would make them all black like they did Josie and the Pussycats in the CW Riverdale show.

[@jextra1313]

And one would be in a burka and the other would be a lesbian. Which makes total sense because they're all minorities and would 100% get along irl.

[@petergriffin-tu6ug]

no all of them

[@Klonoahedgehog]

It'd be the blonde who'd be fat.

[@Here_is_Waldo]

Nothing wrong with a character being overweight, wearing a burka or being a lesbian if it's part of their personality; not ALL of their personality.

[@toastedbabybuns1000]

@21:46 as a mulatto myself, the new shaggy just looks straight up black. It doesn't make sense. They even gave him two tone texture for his hands which is something mixed people don't usually have...

[@iamthewizardwhoknocks2845]

Not sure he's supposed to be mulatto, his stepfather probably took care of another man's kid.

[@blissfulinsomniac5711]

"Why are you Indian with a white last name"? That happens all the time, actually. India was colonized by the Brits...

[@insertnamehere5809]

That only happens in Sri Lanka, Anglo Indians are a tiny minority

[@zrc1514]

I miss Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated so much. Now that was the bomb.

[@theliato3809]

“He looks like a black muppet.” Best description I’ve heard for norvile

[@TrueBuddhaCat]

Oh hell......may god help you guys Also Jack, don't mention the Hex Girls because they will ruin them!

[@crawlingboy]

For the love of god please not the hex girls not my original exposure to goth girls

[@xFlareLeon]

@@crawlingboy I'm sorry to say they have. Thorn has been defiled by this show.

[@Noots69]

I'm sorry that I can't finish watching this, it just makes me sad

[@cranberryrosebud]

This show hurts. It causes me physical pain. What else causes me physical pain is that people are actually trying to have some kind of political/social issue discussion around this show (most of it coming from a place of dislike, just to be clear), but it just doesn't deserve it - it didn't earn it at all. There are people out there who actually have insight to provide on these things, who are willing to put effort into presenting it well, and the team behind this abomination definitely aren't those kinds of people. Also, Velma and Daphne aren't together because the writers actually wanted to create good LGBT representation, they're being deliberately provocative, if not exploitative. This show is cynical and mean-spirited and seemingly meant as a downright insult to fans of Scooby-Doo, I'm not giving it any benefit of the doubt, and you won't convince me that anyone working on it meant it as something to genuinely start a conversation or be progressive, they're just being bitter in a really obnoxious way. Also, most of the animation is rather bland and ugly, and I would like that trend to die soon. Encourage effort, it's really not that hard.

[@mikefidborg1]

Kaling probably pitched this self insertion therapy session full of hatred and insecurities to hbo with original characters but got turned down, so the solution was to sacrifice another beloved IP in the wokeism altar and piggyback her shit into the Scooby-Doo gang. So stunning and brave

[@SmolStall]

Ive seen more subtlety in Family Guy skits then this show.

[@Adamguy2003]

I knew JLongbone would have some fun with this dungheap of a series, but being joined by her buddies bcala and thisisjcgreen9646 makes it even better and funnier! "Why does an Indian girl have a white last name?" YES! THANK YOU! The "Mandy vs. Velma" jokes early on had me not just howling with laughter, but even ironically enough unintentionally doing the Scooby- Doo laugh ("REE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!"). Mandy from the overpriced toilet paper known as "I Am Not Starfire" and Velma in this abominable show are indeed cut from the same rotted, toxic, insect- infested, feces- stained cloth. 5:55- 6:00 had me laughing so hard, too! Daphne was indeed the rich one in 'Scooby Doo,' not Fred. "Normally origin stories are about tall, handsome guys struggling with the burden of being handed even more power." Yeah, like Captain America! Oh, wait: He was a small- framed, frail, probably- poor asthmatic who was chosen to be a super- soldier due to the genuinely good, noble heart he had deep down and the fact that he was motivated by a purely selfless moral obligation to put his own life on the line in service of his country as he had seen so many others do. Never mind. Or, like Dr. Strange! Oh, wait: He was a highly- respected doctor who presumably worked and studied his butt off to gain his medical skills and reputation, only to lose all that AND every penny he had to his name in a car accident that mangled his hands, sought out mystical remedies as his last hope of regaining the use of his hands, and only gained magical abilities and became Sorcerer Supreme after AGAIN working and studying his butt off in order to properly earn that title. Never mind. Or, like Deadpool! Oh, wait: He was a mercenary with terminal cancer who joined the Weapon X program because it was his only hope of a cure, and it did give him a cure and a healing factor, but at the cost that it came about through a series of hellish, torturous experiments that hideously disfigured him and drove him almost completely insane. Never mind. Good observations on the "Lebron" part! Frank Welker must have had some SERIOUS money problems to agree to voice Fred's dad in this revolting series that completely disgraces his most well- known voice role. That, or maybe Mindy Kaling was able to blackmail him over something. Oh, and one more thing: If you want to see an adult take on 'Scooby Doo' that's actually GOOD, check out the live- action KZbin fan series 'Mystery Incorporated.' It's like a cross between 'Scooby- Doo,' 'Riverdale,' and a dash of 'Supernatural,' and it was clearly made with intelligence, real effort, and a sincere desire to honor the franchise (There are LOADS of references to multiple different versions of the gang, as well as to other Hanna Barbera properties). They've only made one episode so far, but it is awesome, and episode 2 is I believe already in production. Check it out!

[@sarahb.7175]

What about Hulk? Oh wait, his abilities are more of a curse that cost him dearly, physically and emotionally. Don't think that counts. And he's kinda average, IMO. Oh! Batman! Wait, no, he suffered a horrific loss at an early age and sublimated his grief and rage by channeling them (and a crap ton of his wealth) into vigilante superhero work to help people. Iron Man! Wait. Not a hundred percent sure on this, but wasn't he kidnapped by terrorists and forced to make gizmos for them and he used his brains and resources to build a suit for himself so he could do superhero stuff? Uh... Zorro? No, he's not handed any powers. He sees the oppression of the people and works and trains really hard to become an awesomely skilled fighter to help them. (Weird, a lot of rich guys using their time and money, and risking their reputations and their lives, to help the common folk...) Hmm, Thor? Doesn't he lose his power and have to earn it back or something by becoming a better person? Hawkeye? No, he doesn't have any powers, he just works like mad to be crazy skilled at archery. (Weird, a lot of these guys seem to have worked for their powers, and they're driven by a desire to help people.) Spiderman? Maybe... But isn't the whole point of his story that with great power comes great responsibility, and if you can't handle the responsibility, you don't deserve to be a hero? Neo/The One? No, he still has to work to come into his own. I'm running out of origin stories I know about... (And as a med student, I can confirm: money can buy you a med school education, but it can't buy the big brains, good study habits, resilience, and sheer bullheaded determination to get through year one, let alone four years and then four more years of residency.)

[@blankadams3120]

Okay, posting this early into the video, but, it has been bugging me that Velma's mother's name is Diya, cause, I've never run into anyone with that name. So, I looked it up. On one hand, diya are lamps shaped like lotus flowers, on the other hand, Diya is an Indian horror about a little girl born to two parents who had their first child aborted, and now she's apparently systematically murdering every member of their families. So, I'm going to go out on a limb and say Velma's mom's the killer.

[@stephenlanuto5993]

Poor jlongbone, you're going to end up with Az's rage, including the accent

[@thisisjcgreen9646]

Anyone who got the Hand of Evil reference can consider themselves a friend of mine.

[@catus-cactus]

I hate this flat Steven Universe art style that everyone is adopting

[@ramjet94]

Bruh this is nowhere close to Steven universe without many sharp angles and dark shadows, and completely different color pallette and backgrounds this has. Stop using shows you don't like as labels for completely unrelated artstylesm

[@PatchouliKnowledge22]

Not "calarts" style. Still bland and generic though.

[@Shockguey]

@@ramjet94 No I see it. Velma is basically that purple character with the deformed lip. Also Calarts has more than one style that emerged from it.

[@catus-cactus]

@@ramjet94 Adopting not an exact copy.

[@Awful.Productions]

@@ramjet94 it's the same thick line toon trash, it tracks, go stan your cartoon elsewhere

[@stanbai5263]

Okay, but why is American Dad a more light hearted show??

[@Kernwadi]

I love this show... It's memorable, it's dramatic, it's racist... things happen. *Literal perfection.*

[@EmoBunny69]

Velma, and their “Rocket Power” ass ending cards. 😂😂🤣🤣

[@TheCrystalBlood]

It's crazy how much more entertaining the commentary is compared to the actual show. Well done guys!

[@ottobaron6392]

"Why aren't the Hex girls in this?" I don't want the Hex girls in this. I don't want any of the characters in this.

[@xFlareLeon]

Too late. Thorn is now a wrinkled, has-been goth mom in this.

[@sherlock7898]

"She has no brain!" Burst Angel: "Hey, look its one of the writers." Man woke up and chose violence.

[@genebaker511]

The shape of Norville's head looks like a glass of milkshake.

[@jamthesnitch9847]

*>She has no brain!!!* "Oh hey, it's one of the writers." That actually got me. LOL

[@anthonysaylor8120]

18:31 "I am looking at a picture of Scrappy-Doo tenderly now and going 'perhaps I DID treat you too harshly.'" In light of Velma's Season 2 finale, this aged spectacularly.

[@GoldenRiderAtreyu]

I feel numbing yet blinding rage even from watching the small snippets of the show through this reaction.

[@frug5629]

One of the few shows that made me go from depression to livid righteous indignation.

[@ghostshrimp5006]

If you wanna watch something that heals your favorite Scooby Doo, then I suggest mystery Incorporated, considered the best of Scooby Doo outside of the DIRECTVHS movies

[@sillyraccoon121]

Wonderful The Thing reference, Lady Long of Bone.

[@Sarahonwheels]

They really put Scooby’s laugh in a show that removes Scooby doo! 😂 And then they got frank too. ( what’s the point)

[@mephistopheles4910]

11:56 - 11:59 a great summation of Norville. That observation about Velma not doing one single smart thing in the first episode is spot on. Even in the second episode, Velma does nothing that warrants the observation that she's "smart". This show is a vanity project where the writing does all it can to make the main character, and executive producer, look good but fails due to their inability to develop a cohesive story and develop well balanced characters with attributes to attract them to the audience.

[@kiplingwasafurry1108]

You guys and Carl have the gift of turning the most unwatchable and annoying pieces of media into a comedic goldmine, that is true talent.

[@RanMouri82]

7:15 How dare you remind me of ValiDate?! 🤣

[@khfan4life365]

The hate this show is getting is well-deserved. Taking an innocuous show like Scooby Doo and turning it into something like this is beyond the pale.

[@Nabinut]

15:15 Mindy Kaling and the writers were so busy trying to match the ethnicity/sexuality of their characters to the Voice Actors, that they forgot to write a decent story, which would incorporate all those "traits" naturally and not be something so obvious to the viewer.

[@helios-nd4qp]

I understand now Mindy is killing off her writing staff every time they accidentally write an actual joke.

[@JoelElRican]

Yo, J. Making fun of LeBron's hairline was the best part of this video 😆😆😆😆

[@munee3000]

"Mindy Kaling herself!...... Oh two Mindy Kalings!"

[@matthiasthulman4058]

Characters are 15, just in case anyone forgot.

[@unripetheberrby6283]

25:55 Yeah! Fred was always jockish and probably popular but I can't remember if he was consistently shown as rich or anything...

[@blankadams3120]

Kaling International, Inc. Oh, Mindy, that's adorable! You think you're going to get work internationally after this tripe.

[@darwinxavier3516]

Aww, fuck no. They dragged Frank Welker into this abortion.

[@hermannlagrange803]

I legitimately thought the scene of Velma coming to school dressed 'normally' was a fever dream of hers. Someone's damn leg gets chopped off and no one seems to react to or or care...WTH is this show suppose to be?

[@tiamystic]

Every scene in this show is tonally jarring in some way that I’m dying to know weather this was a parody or not

[@dilloncrowe1018]

7:46, he looks like a Black version of Beaker from the Muppets. So imagine when Beaker says "meep! meep! meep!" When he talks, except in a deep voice.

[@QueenMasumi]

bro, burstanagel and green got me rolling through the whole video with the combo of you, Jesus Christ. please do videos together more often, it's more entertaining then shit fest show! Also, aren't these characters like 15-17?

[@EpicJasonX9000]

this pure bile of a show makes the movie Bio Dome look like a masterpiece by comparison.

[@Mat-zf9bf]

It's here. Oh God. Brace yaselves, it's gonna get messy, like Mindy's toilet bowl after some trash fries.

[@yoshinpixels9924]

"J, if i give them one idea they'll die from exposure!" Why's nobody bringing up that godlike burn lol

[@joinsideke]

How did Mindy Kaling get this far? Like she was fine in The Office, but she was hardly the breakout star, and I don't know of anything she was in before that. Yet somehow she got her own show, a bunch of production companies, and now this?

[@MAGAMAN]

She has the Non-White privilege.