Very Really Good #90: Help Please

IT'S EPISODE 90! We're going the social distance this week as we talk about spitballs, Harry Potter rewrites, snowmen, and some really bad TikToks. Enjoy!
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/ kurtisconner
/ kurtisconner

[@mizukinelson]

when he said it would take 168 days when it would actually take 2.8 lmao stay in (online) school kids

[@veryreallygood]

fuck i'm so dumb hahahaha

[@SirArthurTheGreat]

Very Really Good no you’re just dim bro 😎🙂 sweet I can take my glasses off it was too bright in here earlier

[@mr.quackers3545]

I'm skipping my class right now

[@stars.6858]

Alright so I can actually listen to all this podcast without wasting my life

[@Artist_Dakota]

Very Really Good yeah you forgot that the 45 was 45 minutes not 45 hours lmaooo

[@ellis6854]

i was about to go out but then kurtis said id be kicked out of kurtistown so nvm i guess

[@yanderelizz7424]

Livia J 🤣🤣

[@MrHMittens]

This is my first time listening to the podcast, and my review is: When you FaceTime your best friend who you haven’t seen in a week, but you’re busy doing something like brushing your teeth or whatever so you’re on mute and so they just kinda talk about whatever

[@hannae2056]

that unlocked a memory i didn't know i had

[@EmmaLangford]

Ahaha that is very much adequate

[@crotchkicker3156]

and he just so happens to be really good at talking

[@brynnelizabeth228]

& for some reason it's just very calming lmao

[@chanyanyanya]

So true. I just played this as background noise while I was washing my hair

[@AniWillow]

Time Stamps: 00:00 - Introduction 00:27 - Corona Talk 06:00 - The Problem With Spitballs 09:48 - His Standup and The Comments Section 14:42 - Cancelled Shows :( 15:49 - What He's Been Up To: - 16:06 - Kidding (Starring Jim Carrey) - 17:21 - His Constant, Never-Ending Crying and Going Against Health Codes - 18:50 - The Problem With Spitballs Part II 19:35 - Episode 100 Plans 20:13 - Just Bad Math 20:58 - American Harry Potter a.k.a British People Are Wizards - 25:28 - Kurtis' Beef With 9 3/4 28:28 - Kurtis Is Haunted: The Wizards Are After Him 29:39 - Cringiest TikTok of The Week (NOT A STOLEN BIT) - 30:46 - this is just a personal qualm... that man does not have red hair, how dare you 35:30 - 2nd TikToker a.k.a Kurtis Is Jealous That This Man Is Funnier Than Him 43:07 - Wrap Up

[@isabellicies]

thank you for your service

[@saint_kitty]

thank u!!! after all the covid19 news it was hard to listen to

[@marianna380]

Im starting to think he doesnt plan his podcasts at all whatsoever... like he just turns on the camera and says whatever comes to mind

[@sorcha9915]

just bad math i-

[@loops8274]

The problem with spitballs part 2 isn't something I ever thought I'd read in my life

[@helloitsme255]

“Throw it back for Lucifier” is my favorite quote lmao

[@Artist_Dakota]

Divya Rangel all of us in kurtistown are going to hell 😂

[@Lilsacraterra]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/jKOye5mVdrWni6s

[@popisdeadisagoodsong9997]

I do that often, but I just don't necessarily throw it back

[@mykalstutts8685]

I clicked the video this was the first comment I saw and I had the like the video right away

[@molly702]

I saw this comment just as he said it, that is pretty impressive for a video this long.

[@graceholmes9219]

how guys watch kurtis conner: nice it’s kurtis how girls watch kurtis conner: nice it’s kurtis but high pitched

[@daniyaahsan7270]

the pitch isnt the only thing thats high. kurtis is too.

[@VerucaMarie]

@@daniyaahsan7270 that is quite literally the only explanation for half of this shit. 🤣

[@koolkat-hq5xc]

But like, 60% of all kurtistown girls are gay tho Edit: starting to wonder if it's more like 90%

[@daniyaahsan7270]

@@koolkat-hq5xc being part of that definite 90% , I completely agree

[@VerucaMarie]

@@koolkat-hq5xc *chills in bisexual* 💖💜💙

[@patiotaiza]

90 episodes x 45 minutes = 4050 minutes 4050 minutes ÷ 60 min/hr = 67.5 hours 67.5 hrs ÷ 24 hrs/day = 2.8125 days 😄😘 I'm a teacher, had to do this!

[@Umwhatever]

"so cheesy" has the same energy as the "prank ON MY MOM' girls

[@tamannakothaneth8278]

yes omg someone else noticed

[@hodzicelma]

JUICY SQUIRT

[@avanedved6710]

So BEEFY

[@heartbrokenmay1827]

HEY BARISTTAAA

[@verticallettuce3140]

saucy ramen? it's a thing.

[@gibrantrejo3258]

Kurtis talking about a virus: I'm sure everyone is probably sick of it Everyone: poor choice of words

[@backup2794]

Imagine You meet Kurtis and he likes you and buys a drink when he takes off his shoes he has no toes and you say "Where are your toes" Then he says "WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS IN YOUR DRINK"

[@olivia_vermast]

Just get Jenna as a special guest for the hundredth episode, we love her:)

[@raumueachary5464]

Omg i said the same thing😂

[@anastasinscreed]

Yes

[@bj1042]

YAS!

[@Sunny99926]

You got itttt

[@alexthioux6366]

kurtis getting emotional over comments is both adorable and sad dude there's a reason people continue to watch your videos!! they're super entertaining and fun to watch even if it's you talking for 40 minutes about literally everything and anything

[@lotteliekeboer8680]

strawzii wait when

[@alexthioux6366]

@@lotteliekeboer8680 around 11:05

[@abracabadass]

This is just what Jenna has to listen to all the time, isn't it? Just this guy talking about snowmen being Reddit bros.

[@abby9797]

bruh sign me up lol

[@warriorcatskid003]

Kurtis at 3 am: so spitballs right

[@iamveryuncomfortable5354]

Kurtis talking about “three flesh skin balls” makes me so uncomfortable

[@manyaagarwal745]

Heyy which flag is in ur pfp I just wanna know idw be mean

[@iamveryuncomfortable5354]

manya agarwal no flag, man, just my favorite color scheme. Cool for you to try to educate yourself though, I really appreciate it

[@zoe7853]

kurtis getting genuinely scared of his door opening killed me bro it was probably the wind

[@zoe7853]

nevermind the wind isn’t inside.

[@hodzicelma]

THE REPLY I- 💀💀

[@user-bp9tp3fr6q]

im happy to be locked in Kurtistown

[@KB-xx2sn]

A dream come true 🥺

[@stirringthecauldron]

that tiktok guy reminds me of ur vine: "give it to me straight" "you have two weeks to live", "give it to me gay" "you have two weeks to live", "THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE"

[@drewm4657]

Kurtis ilysm but I'm 8 minutes in and I've heard way more about spit and balls than I wanted to.

[@gloosey_]

Can I bring to everyone’s attention real quick that Kurtistown is a real place? Kurtistown, Hawaii Look it up 🙂

[@seeannaisawsum]

Nova Thislastnamethingisstupid I’ve been waiting so long to see this!!! Big Island fam

[@KB-xx2sn]

AWESOME

[@abracabadass]

ROAD TRIP

[@ms.bigbooty]

@@abracabadass more like BOAT TRIP 🚤🌊🏝

[@Default653]

@@ms.bigbooty I'm about to go see some Blue Ass Water🌊🌊🌊

[@blakea.e.1681]

Its called spitballing because theyre "just seeing what sticks" i believe

[@beepbeepcasucha]

No wonder your name has two initials in it you're fucking genius dude

[@chevellemccutchan]

how guys watch Kurtis Conner: hahaha how girls watch Kurtis Conner: ʰᵃʰᵃʰᵃ

[@farateq]

How Umbridge watches Kurtis Conner: *DER DER DER*

[@JC-wg5yo]

*everyone joking about wanting to die* -Virus that could kill us shows up Everyone: 😯whoops

[@abru2142]

The thing is not that I dont wanna die, but I dont want my grandma or my parents to die 🥺

[@trontron8666]

Who said we- I mean they were joking

[@alien9642]

Bold of you to assume it was a joke

[@dreamywhales]

Maybe that means it's time to let go of that coping mechanism 😳

[@hahahello1885]

I just don’t want anyone to die like I’d rather that I die than anyone else yaknow

[@sophiathomson8894]

“Alright piper.... I hardly know her”. *snaps* “Three human flesh balls on top of each other getting smaller with tiny little stick tiny little bone arms and a Carr- gross” I like the way this man thinks

[@Futiledev1ces]

How guys watch this video: “oh a new kurtis podcast” how girls watch this video: “ooohhh a new podcast 🐭”

[@sinicry]

how guys eat cake: yum how girls eat cake: MMMMMMMMMMM SO BEEFY

[@gabcorrente3065]

90 episodes are 4050 minutes, which are 67,5 hours, which are barely 3 days lol Kurtis we love ur math

[@Xelimations]

“Everyone’s healthy and happy.” Kurtis 2020

[@kaylanh]

lmao

[@naomi8420]

ceo of being the funniest person on the planet

[@gollygeewillikers]

kurtis’ dobby impression is scarily accurate

[@farateq]

He’s draco malloy’s twin

[@heybaby9885]

"You go out, you're out of Kurtistown" People buying primary necessities at the grocery store in Kurtistown, Hawaii: 👁️👄👁️

[@Jun-xx6dn]

how guys do anything: *does anything* how girls do anything: *same thing but speak like wewearcute*

[@murphhhhhhh]

_so beefy_

[@MelissaLawrence2002]

Thanks for mentioning the class of 2020. I'm a senior this year, and I'm literally having a mental breakdown over this whole mess. Your channel is one of the only things that keeps me sane currently, so thank you so much for all your hard work you put into your content that you make for us. Stay healthy m'dude.

[@Josh-ii1if]

44 minutes and 12 seconds of curtains on his legal canadian marijuana

[@milohuneu4259]

True 💀💀

[@RAWRzooted]

curtains. bruh

[@audreyvalentine9182]

“the devil is a handsome ron weasley” bold of you to say ronald wasn’t the sexiest piece of beef cake ✌🏼😔

[@isitleeyourelookingfor6352]

The "seasoning food with tears" thing reminds me of a time I painted something by sobbing onto my watercolor palette, I can't decide if that's badass of me or just sad though-

[@krunchykat9249]

It can kinda be both but i bet you made some sick art tho

[@farateq]

Sadly, its badass

[@burntbeans9475]

i'M SORRY BUT THE 'So cheesy" REMINDED ME OF THE 'So meaty!' FROM THOSE TIKTOK SISTERS I-

[@krunchykat9249]

IT'S A THING!

[@farateq]

*sO BEeFy*

[@trash520]

its so weird listening to this in December of 2020, 9 months into the pandemic and back in March people weren't even wearing masks? thats crazy

[@helenacohen2185]

For the platform it locked so you could only go through at certain times, in the second book Harry and Ron missed the window which is why they took the flying car to hogwarts

[@yaphace]

Everyone: "Please practice "social distancing" ". Every KZbinr, Ever: Social distancing, since February 2005.😘😘😘✌

[@faebyasu]

"throw it back for the Devil"

[@Vjm0925]

This episode was very do smart

[@pegimirkhani4292]

“everyone’s sick of it” 😎🤯

[@jade-rj3ge]

👁️👁️ 👄

[@pegimirkhani4292]

my dog hate me sorry about ur dog bruh

[@adeer87]

O 👄 O

[@moiralees2054]

You should do a live on KZbin and do stand up for the live

[@user-kh8kz4ck3z]

This ☝️

[@reemh9470]

Yes

[@wickerlibrary]

yeah i’m a junior in highschool lmao and all our classes are online and all the SAT’s just got canceled which is wild but hopefully it figures itself out

[@Umwhatever]

im a junior too but we dont have online classes :/

[@willsimpsblart]

Ashley yall arent on spring break?

[@wickerlibrary]

@@willsimpsblart idk if you're referring to me but our spring break here in california doesn't start for another two weeks, but we have online school for the next three weeks and it's said it will probably go for even longer

[@willsimpsblart]

@@wickerlibrary Ah, I see. It's the opposite for us. Spring break first then classes. Hope things get better there

[@hattiemei25]

I love very really good because it feels like I’m watching some kind of personal video journal. Like he’s lost in space and we are watching this after the fact.

[@cam5296]

I started laughing so hard when he said snowballing in that innocent way I just really wasn't expecting it

[@riven2715]

you shouldn't eat while istening to Kurtis talk about spit balls

[@bumblaur]

you'll get way hungrier and your appetite will forever grow and you will have to inhale food like kirby

[@Sunny99926]

I’ve made that mistake.

[@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasss]

Too late

[@twinktompussycat]

i’m sorry the phrase “social distancing” now activates my fight or flight response

[@samanthao5205]

Senior in high school here! So, yeah, it kind of sucks. Most likely not going to have a prom or graduation ceremony because of the social distancing but it’s alright. 13 years of tears and pain for nothing 🤪✌️But as long as we’re minimizing the spread of the virus by online schooling - ain’t no complaints

[@user-zu4dk2dl6b]

kurtis trying to explain the beginning of that tik tok and just saying the same thing over and over is top notch.

[@tinaxanne]

omg i realized all that guy’s girl voices sound like wearecute. i present to the jury as our first piece of evidence: this man has never met a girl, the only example of women he’s ever seen are wearecute’s tiktoks

[@yes.9731]

I think the citizens of kurtis town are strong enough to keep the corona virus out of town

[@dimly2002]

still not over the fact that guys have been making those “girls vs boyz” memes all condescending like and no one calls them out, its well known,having pewdiepie review them multiple times in his channel, but apparently its “funny” lmao

[@krunchykat9249]

Ik it's so annoying but you cant reply or they'll just says oo you're so quirky and not like other girls but idk

[@dimly2002]

KrunchyKat are we talking about the same thing?👁👄👁

[@alexandra-kw5oz]

I don’t know why but I freaking adore him, he‘s such a dork

[@unholylykoi]

it feels like this guy watches troomtroom and thinks thats how actual girls act

[@rosesullivan6699]

as an english person, england is possibly the least magical place ever, just roadmen and drugs :( also the english accent physically hurt me

[@krunchykat9249]

Yup. Living in crappy london makes me think I'm in some coming of age movie lol. British school is another thing...

[@elyseobyrne6372]

When your trying to sleep and he keeps making you picture spit 🥵

[@pixxel17]

“Why can’t I shoot it far like the cartons?” The daily struggle...

[@farateq]

I know right, like i keep trying to shoot it far but it’s just air and then i look at the milk carton in the refrigerator and it shot so far it reached the sun

[@maxine-kg2fv]

his voice is so smooth

[@ChaunceyCC]

DON'T GET CORONA, KURTBOY! WE LOVE YOU OUT HERE!!!

[@animaljamfam8640]

kurtis: you can't even see the screen cause it would be covered in spit balls me:tear balls kurtis: err tear balls i'm sorry

[@elibarden1911]

Cursed image: Kurtis describing if humans looked like snowmen

[@gw6905]

yup!!! senior here. was looking forward to spending time w my friends while i still can, senior prom, and touring colleges. i can’t do any of that anymore, and it’s extremely depressing :(

[@embla5214]

you had the opportunity to say the hell police emergency number and you didn t say 666

[@jasminekd03]

He said “Dobby the house-“ and a fricken elf makes ad/commercial played

[@brewin7992]

This show should be called Random ramblings by Kurtis Conner, and I died laughing at the flesh snowman

[@faebyasu]

I had a deja vu listening to Kurtis talk about spitballs

[@mfluder2320]

brb, I’m getting “throw it back for Lucifer” tattooed above my butt

[@ma-yk4zf]

i finally have enough time to listen through all the podcast episodes again, might listen to them in one sitting and not sleep for three days🤪

[@benlyman115]

*168 days

[@ma-yk4zf]

Ben Lyman true, i guess i counted it wrong

[@Alexacake19]

Every time I read or watch anything about COVID19 my brain also tells me I'm sick lol how stupid is that

[@clairegopaul4977]

Breaking News: Mayor of Kurtistown Announces Town Is On Lockdown at Risk of Exile

[@ifihadasociallife]

as a senior in high school, i appreciate you mentioning what we’re going through, even if its irrelevant in the grand scheme of things :)

[@JohamAhmad]

Woah the "snowman" version of a human is a very good idea for a horror movie. PATENT THAT KING

[@savdomachowske2967]

Damn, watching this eight months later and hearing Kurtis say “I hope Vidcon isn’t cancelled” is one of the saddest things ever. Like, fuck, who’s gonna tell him?

[@natalie3875]

im so sad rn

[@twinktompussycat]

why is his podcast voice so calm and relaxing. 😌🥺🤧

[@seo9830]

Ima watch this podcast after I'm done having stress over my STUPID GEOMETRY CLASS

[@emily.3179]

23:48 someone show this man A Very Potter Musical

[@BLACKinkish]

every time i watch this podcast i just sit here thinking "wow kurtis are you okay"

[@BLoren]

I freaking love your sense of humor. 😂

[@user-jy6zk3oo2o]

i am bored out of my mind thank u for this kurtis

[@aprilhughey6339]

Please make extra content during this time of need!! I’m literally in love with your videos, can’t get enough!

[@dumbtxh7174]

Kurtis, I’ve had a sore throat and a runny nose for about 5 days now (no fever tho.) It sucks but I’ve been staying inside to help prevent it from spreading into KurtisTown. I hope your video will be the cure for me and others! Lol

[@perturb-arte1577]

Well,talking about spit balls,in my school (it's a high school keep in mind) these guys were playing with...spit...they were spitting each other and running in the classroom...

[@duma4307]

do the 100th episode with Danny and Drew

[@user-zu4dk2dl6b]

Duma Okere but over zoom because sOcAiL dIsTaNcInG

[@bobthetomatoinamaiddressl7258]

how guys like a kurtis connert video: oh that’s pretty cool, *click* how girls like a kurtis conner video: wowie that’s so cool! *clicks like button passionately*

[@farateq]

How electrodes like a Kurtis Conner video: gee i sure do lov- *Electrode used explode!*

[@starfire555]

Wtf dude I never knew this channel existed till now

[@sambriony1880]

“Throw it back for Lucifer”

[@morgans6299]

I went to high school with that kid who made the “yeah ur dead” tik tok and we both sang in high school Choir lol

[@BobGeanis]

Kurtis said "how guys sneeze" as I sneezed lol

[@farateq]

How guys sneeze: *turns into a monster* I’m gonna tell you ‘bout Johnny the ghost! (Here’s something someone might find interesting: i was searching up the lyrics to the song and turns out there’s an entire fandom based on it)

[@Bananas1745]

i love staying up till 3 am watching your podcasts and falling asleep to them

[@alexandrabozoova3357]

Me too :)

[@FrankieMcCabe]

This answer comes late. But Maybe it's called spitballing because you are shooting ideas around and seeing what sticks

[@JohamAhmad]

Super excited for a full half-hour video on Friday 🤩

[@cypher237]

I'm walking around an empty cemetery rn. I need my cardio. It's just me & the undead. I mean the dead. And that's the way I'm sure its gonna stay. For sure. Yep. 😐

[@cheekynandosss581]

I’ve listened to the episodes as I wind down every night but now that there’s a lot of free time I’m gonna WATCH them all also. blessed

[@sydneykaterina5672]

I'm a senior and thankfully our graduation date is already locked in, so even if they extend school into the summer we won't have to come in but all the other grades will

[@bigballs7221]

the canadian harry potter bit took me the fuck out

[@etanu8308]

first time watching the podcast, the spitball tangent made me laugh so much

[@kry89]

3 mins to the video, when you said your brain starts to think you have it. I have never relate to any statement in my whole life. Plus I get super anxious and my chest starts to hurt. Theres confirmed cases to where I live. I dont go out and I'm confined in my room but whenever I come across covid news and its symptoms I start to feel sick

[@viv8266]

solid timing on the tears part, my mom came in my room and made me cry wow

[@thecassandraeffectvsperilo6754]

*"Piper* *go* *walk* *through* *a* *zoo"* 😂😂😂 why that made me laugh so hard I feel is from the delirium of being sick 😵🤪🤧