The Co-Opting Of LGBT [Let's Discuss Queerbaiting]

[@tayzonday]

As someone who is severely disabled in my experience of autism, I can sometimes feel uncomfortable with the proliferation of “neurodivergent” AND autistic as autobiographical Internet content categories. It can feel like “stolen valor” because many of these individuals are higher-functioning than I have been for much of my life. I can’t prove who’s autistic. You can’t prove who’s GLBTQ. But we both probably feel like the experience of being either is like we are veterans of a very particular war. And it hurts when people who don’t seem to have fought on that battlefield intercept sympathy for people who have.

[@KevenTalks]

"veterans of a very particular war" - wow! 🥹

[@J33-k3s]

There will always be disingenuous people trying to benefit from things they think will make them relevant. I am glad we are in a place where people can be themselves (of course, not in all circumstances) but societally speaking. I guess we have to take the phonies with the good. It's better than the alternative where we used to be. Hopefully over time it will balance out, and there won't be as many fake people trying to co-opt. Being grateful for the progress helps overcome the annoyance I feel at the fakes. Lol

[@KevenTalks]

Good point!

[@davidwoodford1814]

Interesting topic. Authenticity is a debate topic for every movement. Resentment of those arriving “late to the party” surfaces in political movements, religious movements, and all social struggles. I think it’s wise to look at all others as superior to myself. My regret is that I didn’t come out sooner and that I didn’t show more courage than I did. I suspect many of us feel likewise.😊

[@johnryan3913]

No, I can't judge somebody who didn't come out earlier. I don't know your family, environment, inner life, etc. so I don't think it's the same thing as faking that you're gay because it's cool right now in pop culture.

[@Tripper111]

interesting topic. But we need to all remember is we are not all just stereotypes we are very very different and unique people. I still think there's more good people than bad in this world.

[@alexanderpons9246]

Great topic thank you for talking about it! Definetly it seems as so many people currently gravitates towards the LGBTQ+ community now versus decades ago where everyone did the best to distance themselves from it, but I am glad we are moving forward. Maybe some people misinterpret being supportive with identifying as X. As a Gay man myself I also want to point out that there are times where if one does not check all the boxes that culturally defines as being Gay our own community turns on itself.

[@KevenTalks]

Very true!

[@rutha1464]

"Anyone that is not against us is for us." Mark 9:40

[@KevenTalks]

How come everyone's quoting the bible in the comments? lol

[@FriendofDorothy]

Poppy-cock! Thousands of people who are not against us voted for Trump and they, like their orange idol, are neither for us nor against us : we just don't matter and are , in essence, of no concern, essentially invisible unless one of us really bugs them on social media. I hope people realize you are misrepresenting the actual meaning and context of this verse.

[@luminiferous1960]

@@KevenTalks 'Tis the Season.🦃🎄

[@lawrenceharris7369]

That statement is very true biblically.

[@gj7854]

I’m so glad someone is talking about this, it’s so annoying

[@tay.c6454]

i was surprised to see this title, since so many queer people have recently said queerbaiting cannot be applied to real people. they say the definition is only valid in the context of fictional characters. I don’t understand that perspective as someone who has know since a very young age that i was attracted to the same sex. In middle school (7th-8th grade) I had a friend who I had a harmless crush on. I realized near the end of 8th grade that she would purposefully feed into it. After she knew I was pansexual, she would have unprovoked comments like “if i was gay you’d be my type 100%” and at first the part she played seemed harmless too. Until it became obvious she wanted a reaction out of me. So when I began reacting, like saying “well have you ever considered it?” or “are you actually attracted to me” and she would give me the kind of answers you can never really be so sure of. like, “yeah i’ve thought about it a lot, but i don’t know if that’s because i actually like girls” i didn’t really understand the confusion of it because like i said it was very clear in my own personal experience almost immediately. but nonetheless i respected that, I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or our friendship into something it didn’t need to become. so i had a girlfriend right? and i remember her always having questions about my relationship. I interpreted it as just someone being curious the same way a girl who’s never had a boyfriend would. But things slowly become in my perspective-vindictive. and then things felt a lot more intentional. we had our first sleepover after id gotten out of that relationship. and i remember that leading up to that sleepover she kept texting me about having a secret she needed to tell me, and that i was the hottest girl she knew, the comment about me being her crush only if she liked girls repeatedly came up. so going into this sleepover i sincerely assumed she was going to tell me she liked me or something of the sort. she didn’t end up telling me the secret, and that night we actually came close to kissing but then she ran out of her room and left me there for a while. i had a weird perspective of female friendships already at this time, because growing up I was sexually abused by boys and when it came to girls i wanted nothing more than their companion. I felt safer with them, but it would be 3rd grade that my female friends would also introduce a sexual aspect to our relationship. It even went from just one friend, to her telling her other friends and inviting them over and i just had to go along with everything. so to me, this was even more confusing because i was more used to people just taking what they wanted from me. or turning things into a “game” so i’d feel more safe about being used in that way. the friend i had at 14 never touched me inappropriately, she would only give an inch and take a mile. it wasn’t an unsafe situation but we were never able to really be friends again because i confided in my friend who had just come out to me as gay at the time- about her and everything she said and did. he said listen shes queerbaiting you. that’s the first recollection i have of this term. it suddenly all made sense too. she liked the attention i’d give, the space i created for her to question herself safely, she loved to say that she wished she was a lesbian, and she knew very well how i felt about her because shortly after our sleepover i confessed, the comments and the push and pull didn’t stop after that conversation. she actually became more bold about it. it was like a game or a joke to her. She would randomly text me “fwb?” and i’d be like what? and she’d say oh i just was wondering if you know what it means. listen we’re both born in 2006 so we were well equipped to deal with google by 14 😂 and she was a very smart girl, i explained it to her and i remember her saying oh wow have you ever done that? i said yes, not considering that the friendships i had prior were much more abusive than fwb. she went on to ask if i thought i could do it with her, and she kept asking questions like this. like what all would we do with each other n such. i was extremely uncomfortable at this point because i just didn’t want to go through that again. and so i didn’t answer and i just asked her straight up if that’s what she wanted our friendship to turn into. she said “no i’m straight” and we both just stopped being close, i stopped reaching out but she continued. i still to this day don’t entirely understand what she got out of treating me that way. it felt like i was an experiment to her.

[@victorianantiquities]

I think there is a fundamental difference between the LBB and the TQ++++ community and I feel in may ways gay people are tired of being lumped in with many radical fringe 'identities' and agendas that we are supposed to just accept regardless of how outlandish, or frankly offensive it is. Those of us who have been around. I've been out since 15 and that was 51 years ago, was at the march in SF at the Democrat convention, I was at the AIDS quilt display in DC and at the first public gay pride event in my home state and saw the Obergefell decision in 2015, our community got what we were fighting for. It is the lobbyists and the activists who suddenly had nothing to complain about and had no income so we take up another cause even if it has nothing to do with LBG.. I am old enough to remember when Nambla came knocking at the door of the LGB movement and we quickly kicked them to the curb. I think its time for the LGB to take our movement back from the Alphabet fringe "Pronoun Police" and social media 'influencers' who are manipulating a very real cause for their own benefit. I am not part of the "Cult of Victimhood" that seems to be the face of our movement now.

[@aveuch]

I agree with you. Even the flag has been changed without a vote or a dialogue, without a spokesperson or a clear agenda. Higher powers deemed it so.

[@indiegrungefolkstuff1446]

I am the G ans I do not feel tired of being lumped with them. I actually hate gay culture more than queer culture and find queer culture less sexualized and genuinely more accepting. More so, queer people are more organized so if SHTF, I will run to armed TQ++++ because they are armed and most LG are not. LG are easily coopted by the state department and neoliberalism. LG will accept fascism as long as they can keep their poppers and jockstraps, throwing other groups under the bus.

[@Emanuel-uh1uo]

I think Rachael dolezel was even the president of an naacp chapter...she was definitely profiting from a world that she wasn't even a part of

[@brijmsn]

Lady Gaga co-opted the aesthetic more than anyone.

[@KevenTalks]

I agree

[@andyvanm1]

A Beautiful man

[@KevenTalks]

Thank you!

[@mhollick63]

How can you discuss queerbaiting without touching upon Jake Orion or Mario Adrion (and friends).

[@KevenTalks]

No idea who they are lol. Influencers?

[@KnijMagz]

I definitely was thinking of those type of dudes too. There are several of these presumably straight dudes that are "influencers" that will do homoerotic things to gain financially via gay mle support. Though some of them are not pro-gay people or are at worse Homophobic. They know women will not give them the clout they seek so they run to gay men. And Gay men will eat that up which I find extremely pathetic. I stopped following Mario because of his shenanigans...I don't know if he's actually queer these days or not but I've been out of the loop with him and Jake since I was in high school 6 years ago. Jake just alwats seemed very arrogant, ignorant, and narcissistic.

[@KnijMagz]

I definitely was thinking of those type of dudes too. There are several of these presumably straight dudes that are "influencers" that will do homoerotic things to gain financially via gay men. Though some of them are not pro-gay people or are at worse Homophobic.

[@KnijMagz]

They know women will to give them the clout they seek so they run to gay men. And Gay men wat that up which I find extremely pathetic. I stopped following Mario because of his shenanigans...I don't know if he's actually queer these days or not but I've been out of the loop with him and Jake since I was in high school 6 years ago. Jake just seems very arrogant, ignorant, and narcissistic.

[@kuransays]

Agreed, I stopped subscribing to both of them since it's clear even from the title of each video that they are just trying to get views and will say anything to do it 😅

[@luminiferous1960]

A very interesting, but as you point out, complex and nuanced topic. With any trend that gets sufficient media attention to provide potential wealth and/or fame to those benefitting from the trend, there always have been and always will be disingenuous opportunists jumping on the bandwagon to try to profit in one way or another from the trend. This is why caveat emptor applies not only to the marketplace, but also to media trends and politics, and to their associated personalities. However, this does not mean that we should trust no one in media or politics. Instead, I think the intelligent position to take is trust but verify. That is, take the person's word at face value on a limited initial probationary basis, but do one's due diligence to verify the person's claims based on considering the available evidence, and thereby, determine whether the person is deserving of your trust before investing in or supporting the person and/or their products or policies, financially and/or emotionally to any large extent. One might get a minor burn from putting that little bit of initial trust in the person, but one will be saved from getting seriously burned from trusting too much, and one may have the opportunity to broaden one's trust if the initial trust is subsequently verified. One should be open minded, but not mindless. One should be open minded and wary. I think this is a good way to apply the old adage "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." As Jesus warned his disciples before sending them forth to spread his message, "Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” (Matthew 10:16) I think this is also good advice for anyone navigating the domains of modern media and politics.

[@KevenTalks]

Jesus knew what was up!

[@MaxEvans-cz2no]

Two men or two women kissing or holding hands on an awards show that are celebrities are normalizing LGBTQ affection--which I generally view as positive. It doesn't matter to me if they are gay or not because who am I to say that two straight men can't hold hands or wear dresses (like Harry Styles sometimes does). If it isn't done in a mocking way, I'm ok with it. The only time I get a little miffed, is when show runners mess up a little and present certain characters as questioning their sexuality and looking to explore--and then in the very next season they are straight with no explanation or resolution as to how they arrived there. The Teen Wolf series was largely criticized for this and very much deserved it.

[@KevenTalks]

I guess the question is, even if they're not doing it to mock, what if they're only doing it to shock? Does that potentially affect the representation of the rest of us, who are not here to shock, but just to live our lives without harassment, judgment, or bigotry?

[@jasonsubhan8479]

The background music is unnecessary.