The Hidden Cost of Coming Out | Middle Ground

[@jubilee]

NOTE: The names of the participants on the Closeted Queer side have been changed. Each cast member agreed to have their faces blurred, and was given the option to have their voice modulated.

[@balancelimited5057]

You should probably pin this to the top of the comment section

[@AdanSolas]

Exactly what I was saying. Use common sense, people.

[@megahnw]

I would pin this!

[@stamzthehuman897]

Remove the video. The blurring is not enough. The modulation is not enough either. Anyone that knows these people that are watching will figure out in a heartbeat.

[@Mayamazingg]

@@stamzthehuman897but the participants all agreed to those terms.

[@AnotherEmi]

I'm not Christian (or religious at all, for that matter) but "I can't see a heaven, a place that I would wanna be, without my daughter" made me tear up. That was so powerful

[@luckiiemm4470]

Same, i'm not gay or religious so im not even relating in that way, but that was beautiful

[@32Theresa]

Whew I had to take a deep breath

[@Orange56222]

Same, I’m not religious or queer and that made me tear up rq

[@DallinHipps]

Was that in the patreon or did I miss it?

[@ktbaustin]

Literally. I’m atheist and that ish had me bawling

[@ceci-y2z]

khadija MBOWE!?! the way i clicked so fast

[@veronicar3104]

SAME

[@KeepItCute22]

Love her♥️

[@reno419rockstar]

Women kissing on women isn't a big deal anyway

[@nightmaremassacre4716]

@@KeepItCute22 They're non-binary xx but sameeee

[@danielmuianga7849]

Meet too 😂

[@juliaforgot1690]

To hear Curran express that he worries people may think he touched their kids because he's gay brought me to literal tears. What a dreadfully horrific thing to have to think about😢

[@Kidassassin109]

I went through that with my mom and little brother it was truly disgusting

[@8877dksljfa]

​@Kidassassin109 I'm so so sorry that happened to you, that's horrifying. I hope you are able to heal from that.

[@BroJo676]

My question would be, how many times did it happen for homosexuals to be involved in pedophilic situations?

[@jlbcon]

It's one of the scare tactics used by religion. So not very surprising.

[@ElicuuKit]

@@BroJo676 It's projection

[@Bri-tf6eu]

please lord do not dox these people

[@edocursedmark2693]

😂😂😂😂

[@AdanSolas]

They knew the risks…

[@theelectricant98]

​@@AdanSolasthey were told their privacy would be respected.

[@AdanSolas]

@@theelectricant98 Yes and Facebook also tells you that. So does Google. This is the internet. People make mistakes. One tiny unblurred frame and that’s it for you. It doesn’t even have to be intentional.

[@Petrichorus-]

@@timlynchmusicandlessonsooo you’re so cool you’re such a bad boy 😈 everyone thinks you’re so awesome and edgy!¡!

[@WorkYourWisdom]

Curran unblurring his face just bought up all the tears and the feels!! Such a sweet moment!! I pray that revealing his authentic self to his family has been comforting and full of love!!

[@Curra1199]

It definitely was an experience,

[@stephi6792]

@@Curra1199do you mind sharing how your family/friends have taken you coming out?

[@Curra1199]

@@stephi6792 I said it more in what they cut, but I have been out to most of my friends and classmates for a while, just not my parents. But my parents mades sure I knew they still loved me, though they are still processing

[@Whirlbee]

​@@Curra1199I'm glad it did go well afterwards ❤️ watching you do that brought me so much queer joy! I hope you gave an amazing pride month this year being fully out 😊

[@tatsf]

@@Curra1199 Very glad that it went relatively well so far. It is certainly a process that takes time for most. That was my first question when the episode ended - How did the coming out to the parent go?! I hope that their acceptance will grow strong! You were incredibly brave to unblur on the spur of the moment (if that was the case). 💖

[@Mark.mp3]

"I don't wanna see a heaven without my daughter" TEARS.

[@ThunderPhartz]

the daughter : 🤡 🏳️‍🌈

[@KozyKpop]

@@ThunderPhartzyou: 🤡👎

[@ethandollarhide7943]

This video is just continuing to prove that being raised in a Conservative Religious Home doesn't stop anybody from being Gay.

[@user-kf2oi4sq5b]

And it doesn't. More than anything, that environment forces people to live False lives burried beneath all those lies, guilt and shame. It's no way to live.

[@AdanSolas]

Not really; there will always be failures. But that’s not the point anyway. The point is to not have them act immorally, which this has been successful at doing. Obviously, not on these people (or else we wouldn’t be watching the video), but on people nonetheless.

[@triofan9]

@@AdanSolasSource?

[@ethandollarhide7943]

@@AdanSolas Bro just admitted to hating Gays.

[@ethandollarhide7943]

@@triofan9 They never have any. They just like talking 💩 about Gays.

[@naffa09]

Greg’s voice pattern and inflections are so spot on for a youth pastor

[@zking2929]

He's definitely exuding youth pastor energy 😂

[@naylaw1928]

He's oozing Christian dance parties 😂 I love that for him

[@Enlightened08]

​@@naylaw1928😂

[@johannsaintbirne5598]

I thought this episode was very cute overall but seeing Curran unbluring his face at the end made me feel so emotional, i hope everything went smoothly for him and he got love and acceptance from his family

[@Curra1199]

Thank you! I definitely got love, i don't know if i can say i got 100% access but they're still processes

[@CarlosJT-o7s]

​@@Curra1199I love you and I wish the very best for you.

[@AmiriHipHop]

The pixelated effect on the Closeted peoples' face is very weak. Unless they have family and friends that are easily fooled, I think their voice, bodies and mannerisms alone could easily reveal who they are.

[@ifmusicbethefoodofloveplay2290]

Completely agree. Jubilee should re-upload to pixelate better, maybe their whole bodies, and distort their voices. They're going to get doxxed for sure.

[@len-1768]

I'd say distort their voices to further hide their identities. I also think Jubilee should've advised them to wear long-sleeved clothing, in case anything on their arms might reveal their identities.

[@Tenseiken_]

Yeah, Jubilee did the absolute bare minimum and it's borderline useless to the average person. They just care about their clicks and numbers.

[@reno419rockstar]

Nobody is watching this sht.

[@ifmusicbethefoodofloveplay2290]

@@reno419rockstar are you lost? 12k views in an hour? Over 8 million sunscribers?

[@jessbarry856]

It breaks my heart to see people view their parents struggles and sacrifices as a reason to not be true to themselves.

[@varany3376]

Unfortunately there are people who think their struggles and sacrifices entitle them to inflict suffering on other people, so this aberrated thinking manifested before them and will exist even after our generation

[@Random-sk6hm]

Exactly what's the point of escaping horrible situations in order to be 'free', if you can't really be free

[@CUP1D0N]

They actually don’t want to put themselves in financial, housing or social danger.. They are just waiting that one moment they’ll be thoroughly independent from all this to freely be the real version of themselves

[@leek6068]

its sad that that people still may view their child being queer as a 'struggle' and 'hardship'

[@amyj4811]

@@CUP1D0Nthere’s more to it than that. Middle eastern & Asian families are similar when it comes to wanting to honor your parents. Then to recognize their struggles and sacrifices and hopes & dreams for you… it’s not just being scared to leave b/c you are not financially stable etc. it’s feeling like you have failed them & that all their suffering and sacrifices have been for nothing.

[@ChelseaMcMillen]

As someone who spent a lot of time in a (secretly) homophobic church, I can totally understand what triggered Sal - Greg seems super great 100%, but he had pastor-style word soup going on that is sooooo church-coded.... saying so much so politely but being unwilling to say what you mean in plain language because you know the true statement you want to make is controversial. Really took me back for a second.

[@Holymolygoly]

Yeah, she literally mentioned that she is open about the trauma she have because of mentality like those.

[@UknownAgain]

I’m glad to see someone else in these comments recognize that, seeing all the comments feeling bad for Greg makes me feel like I’m hallucinating. It’s very obvious to me he was trying to soften the way he expressed his views and not step on toes in a way that was very ‘love the sinner, hate the sin.’ Which is still very harmful rhetoric, especially one that is packaged in a book and sold as a ‘Im gay and a Christian’ book, that presumably lots of queer youth in the church might read.

[@ChelseaMcMillen]

@@UknownAgain my intuition is that it's tricky to recognize if you haven't had a lot of experience with it! But if you do....hoo boy!! As easy to see through as glass. I feel for him very deeply. I think if a few things had gone differently for me, I'd be in a similar place of dissonance that he seems to be in. It's like it's impossible to accept full freedom for yourself when you're so used to being boxed in.

[@warimikarogo2422]

Reminds me so much of my family.

[@user-vu6ke]

The problem is that we make it controversial. The problem is Greg not being able to fully express his points (unless that is how he wants to express himself and his views) because he has to worry about other people's feelings the whole time. Greg has found peace, fulfilment and meaning in the way he lives his life. The minute anyone expresses an opinion/perspective and as a people, including us QUEER people, internalize it showcases unresolved conflict within ourselves and NOT that of others, even if you are convinced that your points are correct. Sal getting triggered by Greg expressing HIS opinions, and HIS views, and HIS experiences sounds like Sal has a lot of work to do to stop being so 'triggered' the whole time.

[@queenzelamokoena1819]

KHADIJA BROUGHT ME HERE BUTTON 😂 ➡️

[@ryleeburton]

No fr! I saw the thumbnail and I was like, KHADIJAH WHAT ARE YOU DOIN HERE

[@rosellavaughn5394]

Saaame

[@Enlightened08]

I haven't seen her before. Where else can I check her out?

[@nancymbaye8896]

She's Khadijah Mbowe here on KZbin@@Enlightened08

[@j.b.c.a.]

​@@Enlightened08 On her KZbin channel, Khadija Mbowe.

[@mptgvxdh]

Khadija’s here, I’m here!

[@aahpuuh]

Yeessss I yelled a little when I realized it’s her!!❤️

[@theelectricant98]

Same😊

[@Random-sk6hm]

I'm so lost who is she 😭

[@dakweenlyrics409]

@@Random-sk6hmshe’s popular on tiktok

[@Nikki-lh1tu]

​​@@Random-sk6hm They are non-binary btw, and they post commentary videos on social issues.

[@CampyBiscuit]

OMG I cried when Curran gave consent to unblur his face. I felt that so deeply and personally. So proud of him.🏳‍🌈

[@Curra1199]

Thank you!!! I'm so glad I was able to bring up the courage

[@novaesc844]

💀

[@CampyBiscuit]

@@novaesc844 ?

[@lisagriffin8221]

Excellent marketing on the thumbnail, Jubilee. I saw Khadijah before reading the title and now I'm here.

[@FIREcrochethairstyles]

Same lol

[@Tabbyomwenga]

They had me with Khadijah thought she was reacting to this episode

[@Don_Cross2492]

Same a ran in as soon as I saw her.

[@Brokenfootkid]

Same

[@TheNinjapancake14]

LMAO SAME

[@sarahm7086]

I also wanted to add my thoughts of - you don’t have to come out! “Coming out” is never a one and done process, it’s continuous and arguably never-ending. You can have your chosen close friends or people know, and that be it! You don’t have to tell everyone. You just have to love your beautiful self fully.

[@Random-sk6hm]

Agreed, you get to decide how, when, and if you come out. Nobody is entitled to your private information.

[@RainbowFlowerCrow]

​@@Random-sk6hmExactly! Cis and "straight" people don't have to "come out", so why should LGBTQ people feel pressured to share such information about themselves with people who don't matter?

[@32Theresa]

Thank you for this, I needed it❤️‍🩹

[@toutmoncoeur]

It's never-ending. If i have a gf, i will say "my girlfriend this, my girlfriend that". But having been single for over 5 years. Ive crawled into an omission closet. I'm tired of having that conversation, where youre preaching or teaching people. Gay men have an advantage, that (for the most part) women won't be trying to come on to them. After you tell them. You tell guys you date women, they start offering three****s. Or looking at you lustfully bc they now have in their mind you can't possibly be a prude in bed. Bc you sleep w women. People treat you as a confessional. They tell you all their same-sex experiences or attractions. They keep on the down low. And At Work. Ive never known what to do! In real life you can always walk away from a conversation gone south. But in a environment, where ur locked in perpetuity w people, day after day, i just think, its mellower to avoid, divisive topics. Whether i like it or not. Its a divisive topic. With a gf, sure, I'll tell everyone, bc, i wouldn't want my gf to not acknowledge shes w someone. i wouldn't her to think, I'm ashamed. Or hiding her. But if just about me. My entire family knows. Thats more than enough.

[@bmoe4609]

Wouldn’t be a thing if people let us be.

[@sophie1564]

Although I disagree with Greg, I appreciate his honesty and how respectful he was in his delivery. I also sort of feel for him in the sense that his views come across as a form of self-penalisation for being queer. I hope one day he can come to accept himself *fully *

[@BeatriceFiona]

That’s my issue with him. He’s respectful in his tone and demeanor and criss cross of ambiguous words, but he isn’t in his message, and he isn’t towards himself, which is so sad. He’s saying what he and everyone in this room is, is wrong, ultimately. Just going through mad hoops to find a way to make that sound ok. But it’s not.

[@alexanderwilson3096]

​@@BeatriceFionahes respectully disagreeing with them and has a different view i that a crime

[@matthewsalyer9804]

@@alexanderwilson3096exactly! He’s not pushing his views on anyone else, just stating his views. I’m gay, I’m not religious, and I see no issues with what he’s saying. The woman in blue broke up her family so she could go munch on carpet, she’s completely intolerant and disrespectful.

[@kruislis5820]

@@BeatriceFionaHe is just stating what he personally believes in. He said multiple times that not everyone believes what he does and he's completely fine with it. I find it very ironic that the others got mad and judged him for the way HE wants to live HIS life. Isn't that exactly what many of the queer people here had experienced in religious groups? Didn't they want the freedom to choose what they wanted for themselves? Greg chose a different path. He is not hurting anyone.

[@josiahscott7789]

​@@kruislis5820exactly this!! he spoke so beautifully and seemed to get a lot of backlash for simply stating his beliefs, which feels quite ironic given the topic at hand

[@bulelanibotman]

Extremely happy for Curran for coming out like a boss! BRAZY

[@unkind6070]

Yeah that's was so beautiful ❤

[@Curra1199]

Thank you!!

[@khaledshaban7497]

@@Curra1199 I'm happy for you. I wish you the best of luck with your life.

[@hannahclark4593]

@@Curra1199Congratulations!!!

[@Random-sk6hm]

@@Curra1199 What a legend. I wish him the best of luck and also hope his medical degree goes well

[@essbee1641]

Every Middle Ground where it’s some version of “gay versus not gay” always turns into a religious discussion.

[@len-1768]

Just like the gay vs ex-gay video.

[@cloroxbitch2491]

Because brain washing is real.

[@Loveiskindloveiskind]

That’s the main reason people have against being gay

[@TyMarie92]

That’s because religion is the main thing used to shame gay people.

[@adriennebaer5837]

It's ALMOST like religious beliefs are the some of the main reasons queer people are still unsafe

[@UnicornsInLalaland]

yall are wrapped up in them not being blurred enough but let’s be real. if their family is homophobic they are not clicking on this video

[@Muhluri]

This is so true. They won't even get recommended this video

[@wa11ie]

true. people are really overestimating the demographic of conservative religious parents who go on youtube to watch a jubilee video about closeted queer people of all things.

[@TheKanyinsola]

Yeah and people who know them and watch this will keep the secret!

[@phaerion9142]

Kinda true, but a lot of homophobic people LOVE the prosecution aspect of hurting homosexuals, they have this insane drive and focused energy like is a crusade to save their kind they seemed to feel like heroes.

[@CamTooFresh]

Their family members hearing their voice: 👁️ 👁️ 👄

[@lisib4835]

💀

[@Capybaraism]

🗿

[@yelljal2764]

They were given the offer to have a voice modulator and didn't take it.

[@urbanzs]

@@yelljal2764Proof?

[@supernovaskies5044]

And seeing their names... and clothing.

[@HelloWorld-kt7jk]

finally an episode that features authentic stories, as supposed to the sensationalist/fringe people and topics they usually feature in their LGBT-related episodes

[@len-1768]

Same . It's refreshing to hear personal stories instead of both sides being played like sniveling fools. Politics does that a lot. On another note, what if Jubilee does a Middle Ground episode on pro-Israel LGBT people vs pro-Palestine LGBT people? I bet that would be a disaster that depicts Queers for Palestine as a group of idiots. 😂

[@Random-sk6hm]

Fr and I love that it says *and* instead of *vs* in the title

[@seraphim4144]

@@len-1768supporting genocide is never a flex and you laughing at the matter really shows your true colors 🤢

[@jacksonhoopah]

It was incredibly brave for Curran to come out on the internet like that. I came out to my friends, then my parents a few months later, then I mentioned it in a youtube comment like 6 months later. It's a really big step. I commend you, Curran I wholeheartedly support all of you💖

[@Curra1199]

Thank you!

[@anonymousbo0318]

No one cares

[@Melarona23]

​@@anonymousbo0318❄️🤡

[@shyoxen]

@@anonymousbo0318 On the contrary, no one cares that you don't care.

[@Enchantica333]

​@Curra1199 how are you doing?

[@kealiiamaoli]

I hope Curran’s experience coming out to his family went well, and any of the other closeted people if they choose to ❤️❤️

[@Curra1199]

It went exactly how I expected, not amazing but they still love me

[@unkind6070]

@@Curra1199 I'm so happy for you ❤️

[@Cwtchaholic]

@@Curra1199I’m soo pleased for you.

[@xnhno]

@@Curra1199give it some time, trust me If initial reaction went fine, they will be much more accepting and open about it in the future, just never close yourself

[@Curra1199]

@@xnhno yeah I'm not worried and I'm not gonna be not myself

[@ilTHfeaa]

Curran sounds like he has such a loving family and I’m so happy for him for taking the next step 🥲

[@Curra1199]

Thank you!

[@Cyberdollvintage]

@@Curra1199 you were so iconic for that Curran! It made me tear up at the end watching. I hope everything went well with your family, rooting for you

[@hockeyboy97]

These are HUGELY important conversations that need to be had, not only between queer people, but for those outside of the community to educate themselves on. Thank you for providing the platform Jubilee.

[@maijennasis]

I’m kinda sad about Greg. I understood the frustration in trying to get him to understand but he’s obviously at a different point in his journey. Religious trauma does a number and impacts people differently. His celibacy seems like a form of self punishment from the way it was explained. I extend compassion to that perspective.

[@fionassharp]

I understood what he was saying as different to your interpretation. My understanding is he finds fulfillment in his relationships with others without the act of sex. There are many people that have the same opinions as him without the religion included but I think the ones that had past negative experiences regarding religion were letting those experiences affect their interpretation of him and his beliefs. He was very respectful. Ironically Sal was calling hypocrisy meanwhile she was being hypocritical, she allowed her experiences surrounding religion to judge and condemn his experiences and beliefs. Even if you don't agree with someone you can still be accepting and respectful.

[@zzzaaayyynnn]

I agree he might be in a different place in his journey. But what if he became a celibate monk? Would it be okay? Is there such a thing as an "out Queer" who does not have sex?

[@AdanSolas]

No, he’s perfectly valid, and more so than most of these other “people”.

[@rileydickman9354]

@@AdanSolasYour point is inherently harmful and a net negative on the world when it dehumanizes any group of people.

[@AdanSolas]

@@rileydickman9354 Small-minded thinking. Not too surprising, but still. Greg’s not doing anything wrong. He sees the sacrifices that need to be made and he’s actually strong enough to make them. He’s fine, which is more than we can say for the others.

[@aaliyahamerson1550]

I’m so happy for Curran. I got emotional for him taking that step and being encouraged by those around him to do so ❤

[@Curra1199]

Thank you! It was exactly what i needed

[@christialuella6594]

This make me want to cry for poor souls who can’t express who they are, in all forms

[@RollingCalf]

But yeah jubilee, please fix this video and reupload. Edit their voices or something

[@shwetyballs]

Calm down guys, I'm sure the people speaking were aware before they came on that their voices would not be altered, if anyone on the panel specifically asked for it I'm sure Jubillee would do it.

[@6ngelic]

jubilee said they gave them the option to modify their voices

[@koramccarter3625]

They agreed to this. Bye

[@sarabear3]

In the description it says that the anonymous contributors were given the option to have their voices modulated. So they probably agreed to use their real voices.

[@Random-sk6hm]

Jubilee should've blanked modulated all their voices. Don't take the risk especially when some of these people are in vulnerable situations and could have friends/neighbours etc. send it to their family members.

[@Pou1gie1]

@27:00 to @39:30 Initially, I thought Greg was saying that he wants to wait for marriage. Then I was like, "Wait, is he saying he is abstaining because he is still dealing with being gay but is in denial about this?" So, I'm glad that Sal pressed Greg a bit because I think that he too is unsure about his understanding of why he is celibate and how his religion is factoring into his identity. Without Sal, I don't think that would have been acknowledged as an issue Greg is still battling with.

[@lolneo8766]

I was so close to throwing my phone against the wall and cussing out loud when he said that 😂 I swear if I was in the room with him I would’ve snapped!

[@saraschneider6781]

Greg never said he's in denial. He's literally out. Sal is just a See You Next Tuesday.

[@lolneo8766]

@@saraschneider6781He’s in frickin denial he’s denying that he’s in denial but he’s in denial. You cannot be gay but simultaneously believe gay is wrong therefore force yourself to be celibate then diss your whole community and the diversity and expression they have. That defeats the whole purpose of being out and gay. Greg is NOT out and gay he’s just religious and gay there’s a BIG difference.

[@lolneo8766]

@@saraschneider6781Plus don’t you dare disrespect Sal like that she is a living a lot healthier of a life than Greg and it’s sad. There’s no excuses for what harm he is spewing Sal once lived the life he is living and is entitled to speak out against it.

[@viviannesogomo5182]

So so true

[@Iam_Cantrell]

What’s the point of covering theirface when their friends and family can still recognize them by their voice

[@Aloemauri]

Yea.. I was hoping they would audit their voices

[@RollingCalf]

They can still deny it. But yeah

[@Ary_Kenzy]

but not very likely for them to watch this video tbh

[@RollingCalf]

@@Ary_Kenzy yeah but someone may share it to them

[@AmiriHipHop]

​@@Ary_Kenzy That defeats the entire purpose of being anonymous then. "Oh my friends and family most likely don't know who Jubilee is and aren't going to watch this". If that's how they think then why are you hiding yourself at all ?

[@Uri_Mercury]

Khadija got the QUICKEST click out of me! Seeing their face let me know this was gonna be a safe space and possibility a zero toxicity discussions ❤

[@KhadijaMbowe]

Thank you for trusting my judgment cause y’all know I’ve side eyed jubilee before. 😂 this was mostly a really lovely convo not really a debate

[@Random-sk6hm]

@@KhadijaMbowe Imma be honest, everyone's talking about you in the comments but I've never heard of you. However, you seem like the loveliest, warm person and I have to check out your channel now. Thank you for your discussion in this video 🙏

[@gabbym333]

​​@@Random-sk6hmdo it, do it, do it! Their videos are awesome.

[@upbeatproductions7614]

It’s just one person?

[@malegazeofficial]

​@@upbeatproductions7614 Khadijas pronouns are they/them, I hope that clears the misunderstanding ✌

[@Ravennikole]

Such a beautiful moment to witness Curran come out this way. Rooting for you King! Hoping everything worked out well with his parents.

[@Curra1199]

It went as well as i was expecting

[@clareashcraft3411]

This was so wholesome; I was smiling through almost all of it. This is the type of mentorship we need in the world-- especially imo having Sal and Greg both, so that young people know you get to make your own decisions about what being out looks like for you.

[@Random-sk6hm]

I can't believe Sal is a coming out coach. I didn't know that was a thing but it's so awesome

[@garvitaaggarwal4429]

Glad there was a moderator this time

[@jack.blaise]

There has been for like the past 5 videos :D

[@x_x7088]

He is useless

[@merlumili]

There should've been one since they started this series tbh

[@Random-sk6hm]

@@x_x7088 Don't ever disrespect Gen like that again.

[@jayjay24155]

Moderator was great, not sure if they're queer themselves, but they gave solid clarifying questions while being emotionally present.

[@lynchthomas3773]

having the moderator sitting with the participants was a great move to keep things on track.

[@omaima13.]

I feel like I’ve been living under a rock or something because it’s seems like everyone here knows who khadija except me so I’m gonna go and try to find out who they are because damn they got my attention before they even start speaking 😭

[@copycat7815]

Hi, this is a friendly reminder that Khadija identifies as non binary uses they/them pronouns❤

[@JordaniRoss]

You should get into their KZbin channel, interesting stuff

[@len-1768]

For me, the openly queer participant I immediately recognize is Greg because we went to the same school.

[@TheNinjapancake14]

You will love them!

[@copycat7815]

@@omaima13. it's fine, don't feel bad we all make mistakes

[@yazaaaz]

OOP- is that our favorite internet auntie Khadija Mbowe?? 👀🤭 OMG WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU CURRAN!!!!!

[@Curra1199]

Thank you!!! Still crazy to think that I've finally done it

[@lilimandula]

​@@Curra1199 i hope you are doing great!!

[@mariettamay]

"Sometimes in the process of coming out, you figure out who the people are who matter most" I almost cried hearing that

[@Vivacious_Chaos]

Curran, love you brother! I'm so glad you felt so comfortable and ready to show another side of yourself. Dang, I hope all went well with your folks. 💜

[@Curra1199]

Thank you so much! It went as well as I could've hoped. They made a point of telling me they still loved

[@32Theresa]

@@Curra1199❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[@quietestkitten]

It's a strange choice for middle ground because everybody is on the same side. But some of these discussions were great

[@Random-sk6hm]

It's unique but I liked it. It's awesome that they put 'and' in the title instead of 'vs'

[@clairemorris5586]

So happy they had Greg’s perspective to show that each side doesn’t have to agree on everything.

[@愛子-t8n]

I relate to Khadija and Ocean so much. And honestly to everyone in this panel in one way or another. I'm senegalese born and raised and from a Muslim family. I've been studying abroad for a few years now and although I was scared at first, I'm out to most the people around me. But I'm still closeted to my family both as an ex-muslim and a queer person. And everyday I struggle with the idea of my parents disowning me or hating me if I came out. Both of my parents are openly homophobic and I have to pretend to be a different person around them. It's extremely mentally and emotionally taxing and one of the main reasons why I've struggled with su!c!dal ideation for so long

[@oilygrossboy9313]

Your story resonates with me on so many levels. I hope you have wonderful friends who you can be your authentic self with, at the very least (and hopefully some who have gone through what you're going through, so you can feel truly understood). I know just how isolating and suffocating it can be, when it feels like your family will never know who you really are. We convince ourselves that it's for their sake that they cannot know who we are, but I hope one day there comes a point in your journey where you can share your full self with them. I will be thinking of you and I'll be wishing for nothing but peace, safety, and joy in your life.

[@愛子-t8n]

@oilygrossboy9313 omg thank you. this actually brought tears to my eyes. it is definitely still very hard but your words were so comforting. i wish the same for you and more

[@reno419rockstar]

You shouldn't use the word closeted. It's no one's business who you are being intimate with, most people don't care. No one is homophobic, it's not contagious.

[@oilygrossboy9313]

@@reno419rockstar I mean.. the way the word is used is really to indicate that there are a number of truly important people in this person's life who have absolutely no idea that this person is queer. It's easy to say that your sexuality is no one else's business, but imagine if you couldn't share any of the joy that comes from your romantic relationships, with the people who are important to you. And also, being born Muslim, and raised in a particular kind of upbringing that's unique to Muslim individuals, it's really not that simple. If this isn't a life story and journey that you can relate to, then I implore you to practice some empathy and try to imagine why this could be a difficult thing for some very real, and very human, individuals to go through.

[@oilygrossboy9313]

@@reno419rockstar Also, I wanna challenge the notion that homophobia, or any discriminatory behaviours and beliefs, aren't contagious. Lots of queer kids and teens get picked on and are straight up bullied by their peers. Some of these bullies learn to pick on others, perhaps because they've heard a parent say something truly nasty about queer people. Or rather, they see/hear other kids behaving in such a way to queer kids. They then feel emboldened to do the same. Their actions and words cause a ripple effect, teaching other kids the exact same thing. And they carry these attitudes and behaviours well into their adulthood, then passing it on to their own children, effectively conditioning homophobia into the next generation. The cycle then repeats.

[@Hajkaknsn]

I have a feeling they won’t be closeted for much longer

[@Tenseiken_]

With this borderline useless "protection" I wouldn't be surprised.

[@dannymarie]

Sometimes all it takes is seeing that people can be safe and find their own community. Especially when you're mormon it's a very isolating experience to be "different" and everything in the religion is tied to family and community. Knowing there's more family and community on the other side is comforting !

[@jadacampbell9331]

I don't understand. They at least disguised 🥸 the pitch in another anonymous jubilee video

[@jinhub2175]

Same

[@r.a.l.p.h]

I actually feel horrible for them

[@bobapapaya7074]

This is probably the most respectful and calm episode between the 2 groups I've seen.

[@saraschneider6781]

You clearly didn't listen to anything Sal said.

[@GEN]

Ayy thanks ya'll for watching - this was a super interesting one to moderate, wait till you guys see the end. Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic

[@mangledthing]

Gen, please regard the comments concerned for the anonymity of the closeted individuals' identities. They need a better blur filter (not pixel, full blur perhaps pertaining to their clothing also), voice editing, and names removed, otherwise any relative who stumbles on this video will undoubtedly identify them.

[@looney1023]

please consider that the editing paints Sal as the angry attacker and Greg as the helpless victim, when all she is doing is pointing out the flaws inherent in his belief system, a system which is likely affecting many LGBT youths negatively.

[@GEN]

im not the one editing the videos - im just working together in collaboration with jubilee to host the episodes@@mangledthing

[@ST0RYZ-s9i]

Hiii

[@terrenceisbomb]

I wish you pushed back on Sal when it came to Greg.

[@MeganTheVikingTraveler]

Congradulations Curran!!! Welcome to the club and I am so happy and excited for you.

[@chrisriley1113]

Gregs whole viewpoint to me is like i act gay and wanna be gay, BUT i dont do that. The whole interview shifted after that

[@liamweng2708]

Agreed! I respect that he has his own take on his sexuality, but I’m also so glad that Sal is there to call him out

[@mangledthing]

1. Remove the anonymous people's first names. 2. Apply a BLUR filter, not a pixel filter. 3. Pitch down & modulate their voices. This isn't very "anonymous" and anyone who knows their family well will be able to identify these individuals if they stumble across this video. Do better for their safety please. Edit: Read the replies please. I'm aware a new pinned comment/caption disclaimer has now been added. I still have my concerns, but I understand now that these people made their own choices regarding their level of anonymity.

[@hxpewxrld]

I believe they used random names

[@mangledthing]

@@hxpewxrld I have noticed that now at the end as one person decided to come out with his face and real name. However my other concerns still stand.

[@len-1768]

Jubilee should've told the closeted participants to participate under aliases, like Kafir did in the Muslims vs ex-Muslims video.

[@Tenseiken_]

@@hxpewxrld Even if they did, that's easily the most redundant thing. The censoring is weak and borderline useless and everything else you can see. Plus their stories.

[@hxpewxrld]

@@mangledthing Yeah they do which is why I didn't mention your other concerns, they're vaild

[@LeslieNesbitt-sj5cq]

Thanks for keeping it real, your authenticity is refreshing

[@TheNinjapancake14]

Bot

[@laincoubert7236]

i clicked for khadija and stayed for greg catching strays lol

[@justine2536]

Told my mom I have a girlfriend yesterday...Way better to be out when it feels safe to be ❤🌈

[@Nofaxjustfeelings]

Yeaaaah Khadija ❤😍

[@jdb6026]

The Mormon apostacy story got me in tears. My mom and dad could never with a move like that, but a boy can hope.

[@KozyKpop]

You are loved ❤❤

[@micah459]

Did not expect Khadija to be on here. Love their channel!

[@Nikki-lh1tu]

Same 🤍✨️, Kadijia is non-binary btw, I also sometimes forget too 😅

[@PROVOCATEURSK]

Do you see double? Math is not mathing. Or is it grammar?

[@m_ron2742]

@@PROVOCATEURSKbruh

[@eli10589]

​@PROVOCATEURSK the singular "their" has always been a thing. We were taught this elementary, dumbo.

[@anonymousbo0318]

​@@m_ron2742I assume you didn't do well in either subject

[@sophspice32]

i did not expect to see khadija here but of course i´m here for it

[@QueenZsWorld]

in my opinion, being celibate is better than stringing someone along who you're not really attracted to.

[@TheCreoleSon89]

Or unwilling to marry someone. His attraction to men leads him to celibacy so he would just be leading someone along. There is no reason for that so I respect that.

[@Random-sk6hm]

Why did they leave the battery pack change in the video? The tension was palpable 😭

[@alpachinko9154]

Longer runtime 😏

[@anaa9245]

lol it was an interesting addition xD

[@dafneydorothy1012]

There was no point in pixelating their faces if none of the other identifiers (voices, body shape, etc.) were going to be hidden

[@MineralTown]

the only thing i can think is that maybe new people they meet won’t recognize them after? idk lol

[@illtakeapotatochipandeatit]

they were given option to modify their voices but they denied ,read the description

[@darkur13]

Everybody’s “coming out story” is extremely personal and should never be forced and happen in their own time. Even the most loving and accepting family/friend situations can still be full of fear of what COULD happen! That being said, I spent YEARS struggling and hating myself, trying to change myself and internalizing the homophobia of others that when I finally did come out, despite the pain, heartache and abandonment I experienced, I would NEVER want to go back in the closet. I love myself and it took me so long in my journey to know that I deserve to love myself and be loved by others. My hope is for everyone struggling with their coming out journey to find the peace in that part of themselves that I eventually found.

[@themustar601]

I’m so distracted by how poorly they are covered up. I can practically see the tall person on the end. Clothes, jewelry, voices, mannerisms, if I knew any of these people even a little bit in person it would be too easy to identify them. If Jubilee promised to protect their privacy then they should take this down and fix it.

[@Starkling42]

Fr I feel scared for them they are so many terrible people online + their parents could easily recognize them

[@tylerd8609]

Go and find them then since it’s so easy

[@kingdomhearts351]

Khadija is literally the only reason I’m watching this

[@kaoshi_kutie]

Sameee

[@maddiediez4065]

Love her

[@malegazeofficial]

I wanted Khadija to speak moooooore tho 😅

[@zaink.7243]

same lol

[@shawnchristianson324]

Who??

[@bobapapaya7074]

I do love how Sal and Greg still respected each other despite not agreeing with each other. That hug of love was definitely needed at the end!

[@abcdefg2174]

I don't feel like Sal respected him tbh

[@Yoshimitsu293]

Yeah, sal specifically said that she doesn't respect his beliefs even after greg mentioned multiple times that he doesn't want to force his beliefs on others and still loves and respects people that don't follow his beliefs. She was so disrespectful to him and his personal choice, that little bit of acting at the end didn't make up for that

[@jaynaysay1273]

@@Yoshimitsu293totally agree. It makes me mad that they allowed it to continue going on for so long.

[@pilibab]

​@@Yoshimitsu293She was pointing out the hypocrisy in his beliefs, respecting a person doesn't necessarily mean respecting all their opinions.

[@Yoshimitsu293]

@@pilibab What hypocrisy? he believes she is wrong, but respects her belief and doesn't try to force his beliefs on her. Meanwhile she believes he is wrong and wants to force him to adhere to her beliefs

[@rhambosia1]

You go Curran, what a cool surprise!

[@Curra1199]

Thank you! I surprised myself

[@xiononi]

their voices can be heard, their clothes and bodies are recognizable. jubilee what is this?

[@AdanSolas]

The consequences of their actions. If they’re lucky, this will be the last they’ll hear of it. If not… it’ll be a fun ride.

[@mangledthing]

​@@AdanSolas"fun"?

[@AdanSolas]

@@mangledthing Yeah, it’s bound to be interesting, at least. I doubt that we’ll get to watch it play out, though. Maybe they’d start KZbin channels, but I’m not holding my breath.

[@AdanSolas]

@@mangledthing Yeah, pretty much.

[@ethandollarhide7943]

​@@AdanSolasAre you wishing violence on these people? Because it looks like you're wishing violence on these people.

[@danielhickman9638]

When she said her brother said “it’s great to finally meet you” that put a frog in my throat. It makes me so sad that people feel like they can’t be themselves. I’m straight but I support gay/lesbian/trans. I’m so happy for the openly out folks and I truly hope the best for the closeted folks. You deserve to be truly happy. I can’t say I know that fear of coming out but I imagine it’s one of the most intense feelings they deal with. Jubilee is such a great channel! I love this stuff.

[@petersonceus_]

Khadija ! The queen of articulating what we think inside!

[@indifferentPanthera]

yesss khadija!

[@ilovepdub]

ikr

[@Echoz2911]

KHADIJA!!!!!! The quick ess of the clicking for me. Not a fan of Jubilee but love ALL representation of Queer ess. This was especially awesome watching the OUTS show love and protection and acceptance for the INS. Great episode.

[@chinenyenwamuoneke]

while I don't agree with the way sal was calling greg out (i feel like she made it too personal although i understand why she felt like that) I do think it was important that somebody call him out for the sake of the closeted kids because they probably in a really vulnerable place and imagine if they internalized that thinking when trying to figure out what coming out would look for them.

[@whychandler]

i was thinking the exact same thing. this seems a little harmful for them to hear. i hope they talked to the closeted queer people afterward about what he said.

[@mangojuulpodsss]

She didn't make it "personal" at all, she just asked him what he really meant which he couldn't say. Don't victimize Greg because what he did was so harmful, he looked not only at queer people but CLOSETED queer people and told them that queer marriage and queer s*x is sinful. There is no respectful way to go about that.

[@chinenyenwamuoneke]

@@mangojuulpodsss her statement at 32:22 is making it personal tho. there is a respectful way to go about it because at the end of the day it not abot greg. hes going to do what he wants and theres no amount of talking thats going to change his mind. i feel like it wouldve been better to talk to the closted kids instead.

[@Random-sk6hm]

He did just say to her face that he thinks her marriage is 'wrong' and that all queer sex or dating is 'wrong'. That would understandably provoke a reaction from her. To make matters worse she had religious trauma.

[@bgebre4031]

@@mangojuulpodsss are you getting paid to write these comments like why are u under every single one

[@rgmontoya3398]

I used to be a Catholic Confirmation teacher as a young adult. It was tough coming to terms that I'm bisexual. Coming up in the church during Prop 8 and hearing priests talking about homosexuality as gross or of from Satan, it made it super conflicting and made me hate myself. I feel for the closeted participants

[@oopsibrokethecow]

I am a convert to the Church. I was really into it until around that same time of Prop 8, when I heard Priests say "If we legalize sin blah blah blah..." in and on. I just remember those distinct words. It was shortly after that I started pulling away, after years of my life being rather devout. I don't think the Church even considered how many people they've pushed away.

[@Random-sk6hm]

I had a similar experience but in the UK it was called Section 28 enacted by Margaret Thatcher's government in 1988 which prohibited schools from discussing homosexuality at all. It was essentially the prototype for Florida's 'Don't Say Gay' bill and harmed an entire generation. It led to a huge increase in state-sanctioned homophobia in schools and general public. Fortunately it was repealed in 2003 but that damage still lingers on today for older people.

[@gabbym333]

Hey fellow bi person with probable Catholic trauma :)

[@NikkiBudders]

@@oopsibrokethecow for every gay they push away they get the families who double down on religion. Because how does one abandon their child because of the church ever justify leaving after that? Hate brings people together VERY effectively.

[@PROVOCATEURSK]

As (former) christians you should know that Satan is not the bad guy in the bible.

[@create2liberate]

There's tolerance, acceptance and embracing... three different things. It's obvious how folks feel (energetically, imho) and it's hard for people to be in a category about others that they haven't met themselves in. Not taking it personally is helpful AF.

[@Tiababyy]

KHADIJA 😍💗

[@parisavv6276]

Khadija, i see you girll♥

[@LeahVoysey]

Congratulations, Curran!! That was really beautiful to watch

[@TGSHomeandGarden]

Congrats Curran!!!!!!

[@lovatic_101]

The concept of this video is great but please respect the closeted people’s privacy. Anybody who knows them could easily tell who they are. It’s early enough to still delete this video and completely edit them: their voices, faces, and bodies. Please help them out.. they obviously don’t feel safe in their situations and this just isn’t protecting them enough.

[@32Theresa]

Plz read the description ❤️‍🩹

[@TreavorUnion]

The tears at first for Curran and then the last convo with Sal and Greg. I'm glad she extended that olive branch.

[@Otherworldly23]

Their friends and family are probably not watching this video, but if they hear that someone they know is on it then theyd watch it and give them grieve.

[@MBSgoldie]

Y’all tripping Jubilee had to have thought of it too. For all you know Ocean probably isn’t his real name

[@len-1768]

Yeah. Ocean mentioned early in the video that his parents are Muslim immigrants. Do you expect Muslim immigrants to name their kid Ocean?

[@MBSgoldie]

@@len-1768 my point exactly

[@user-yk8zo9ne1x]

It's so nice to finally see two groups talk on middle ground who aren't militantly barking at each other. Love the support between the two.

[@GothMeUp]

Closted queer lets give them space its not our business why they dont want come out its their journey not ours. Let's be respectful.

[@kenniefaten]

THIS 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼

[@reno419rockstar]

It's weird to me. Most is self-inflicted. Why do people want to tell people about their sex life?

[@愛子-t8n]

​@reno419rockstar It's not about "telling people about your sex life". Even for straight people, who you're attracted to or dating is something that comes up all the time in casual conversations. Someone might complement your shirt and you'd say "thanks, it's a gift from my husband/boyfriend" etc. It's not that you're going out of your way to tell everyone who you're having sex with. Straight people are able to talk freely about their romantic partners without second thoughts, fear, or a need to hide, so they don't realize just how often this stuff comes up in day to day life. But if you're queer and closeted, you realize it a lot more because you have to often lie or just be mindful of what you say or show other people so you don't accidentally out yourself

[@BeautifulDiaspora]

@@reno419rockstarHomosexuality is randomly brought up SO much….nobody goes around shouting “I’m gay!” From the rooftops. We’re usually minding our business and the gay-obsessed folks come to us intruding. Also, that “sex life” part was weird.😂 Crazy how people associate every queer sexuality with sex and sex only.

[@whitneyhendrix8075]

@@reno419rockstar someone could just want to talk to friends about who they have a crush on or ask a retail worker for a suggestion for a gift for their husband/wife/spouse. Neither of those have any to do with someone’s sex life. There is a lot that has to do with attraction/ relationships that have absolutely nothing to do with discussing sex life

[@Crisbelly13]

This has given me more motivation to come out to my mom 🙏🏾

[@AnthropogenicInversion]

congrats

[@sumaiya-ey5zc]

As a Muslim I just wanna hug ocean. He deserves a community who loves him whole and not just for parts of him.

[@PROVOCATEURSK]

What is the punishment for apostasy?

[@sumaiya-ey5zc]

@@PROVOCATEURSK ….The same punishment that is in Christianity and Judaism lmfao?!? This is not a gotcha especially when there are specific conditions for that punishment(I’m not in the mood to humour an islamaphobe) and documented times in which apostates where treated with kindness and safety (by the prophet)

[@anonymousbo0318]

​@@sumaiya-ey5zcYou various cult members arguing when you're all clowns

[@AnthropogenicInversion]

ok but what do you mean by that? is homosexuality included as a core part of his identity?

[@sumaiya-ey5zc]

@@AnthropogenicInversion I mean that homophobe Muslims need to leave him alone.Being gay is apart of his identity and so is being Muslim he doesn’t have to choose smhhhhh

[@avatar9737]

i would’ve never guessed khadija to be in a jubilee video but i’m here for it

[@arianathompson7989]

Khadijah what are you doing here 💜💜😂💜💜 Coming back after watching my the video I understand why Khadijah would be on this episode. Andrew’s reveal had me so emotional and I hope nothing but positivity and grace for whatever happens after.

[@maxwell4778]

the interaction between sal and greg in the very end was so wonderful, i got teary eyed.

[@nadiasmith8752]

Wait a minute I did not expect to see Khadija

[@ilovepdub]

lol u kno her?

[@chasneystancliffe493]

MY GIRL KHADIJA WHAT

[@DaBoredEagle]

Despite, committing to celibacy. I still got a sense that Greg was trying to have it both ways. He was identifying as gay, encouraging other people to live out as gay people while saying it's wrong to be gay 🤔

[@roxienatura]

I was thinking the exact same thing. I hope he grows to truly accept himself and his desires.

[@TubezThe1]

Thank you! It's like why even be out if this is how you're going to live? That just sounds sad.

[@anonymousbo0318]

😂 You pissants are so self-involved

[@calebcollins5887]

I think it’s his version of coming to terms with himself and his beliefs. He is gay and nothing will change that, if he acts in that is his choice.

[@euniiie]

I think it's his religious guilt

[@MoniqueSoChix]

Yes Khadija👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@RainbowFlowerCrow]

46:48 Maybe they shouldn't have pressured Curan (Andrew) into the decision to unblur his face just yet, because he is the one who has to deal with the consequences of that decision, and I feel like it was made in haste.. That said, I hope that he has all of the love and support that he will need in the coming weeks and months💜

[@Curra1199]

Thank you for your concern but it was completely my decision. I've been ready to come out for a bit but was just to scared. It was just the push I needed

[@whitneyhendrix8075]

@@Curra1199so proud of you ❤️

[@nipunkumar161]

@@Curra1199 Congratulations Curran on coming out and best wishes for future 💫

[@contingency0]

19:51 "the only way to really love people as radically as you possibly can is to sometimes take the risk of being hurt and to trust that you will be loved more than you will be hurt" I love that a lot!

[@calebrosario1844]

Curran coming out got me bawling

[@devconley9483]

The ending with Andrew was so beautiful and wholesome

[@Curra1199]

Thank you

[@josephfouche2006]

@@Curra1199was your coming out okay? Did you have problems?

[@Curra1199]

@@josephfouche2006 it was okay, i can't say my parents were 100% supportive, but they still love me and are just processing

[@seekerandthinker]

@@Curra1199 oh, I hope it went smoothly. My parents are Christian now and oppose gay relationship. Fortunately (or unfortunately) my relationship with them isn't great so cutting off won't hurt a lot.

[@mindyourbusinessmotivation]

You can hear the joy in the voices of the closeted side just because they are able to talk openly about their true selves

[@luffypunketa]

I find it very interesting how much more mature and confident the people who are able to openly express themselves are in comparison to the closeted people. I hope everyone who feels its unsafe to be their true self (me included) gets to taste that freedom one day

[@jinmushui1soul]

Honestly, that's just age. It's a lot easier to come out when you're financially independent, living in a new location, etc.