Villain Therapy: JOBU TUPAKI from Everything Everywhere All at Once

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What happens when you’re overburdened by expectations? Why is perspective taking so hard?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright revisit a favorite, Everything Everywhere All at Once, and take a closer look at the villain, Jobu Tupaki. They discuss how Jobu is a collection of the many versions of Joy in the multiverse, born from Joy’s fractured relationship with her mother. Evelyn crushes Joy with expectations and leads her to spiral into depression and create a life-sucking bagel. They discuss why perspective taking is so hard but so necessary in our relationships. Alan explains why the crazy sci-fi and grounded world blending works, and Jono struggles to pronounce some words.
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
Edited by: Sophie Téllez
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis
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[@CinemaTherapyShow]

Go to buyraycon.com/cinematherapy for 15% off your order! Brought to you by Raycon.

[@muhamedquraishi]

Could you guys please do a Psychology Of A Hero video on Luke Skywalker? Excluding the sequels of course.

[@g.d.graham2446]

Wonderful episode as always, and I hope you guys get around to Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish, both from a relational and for having a perfect script

[@indihgoh8470]

Can you watch Marcel the Shell with Shoes on?

[@mafaldaalmeida4632]

Can you please please do aftersun with Paul mescal? Cried like a baby and touched me like no other movie

[@jacobrispoli4351]

Can you guys do a movie reaction to Hacksaw Ridge? As to how it's related to your channel, long distance relationship, family members separated because of war, and my favorite message of the movie is the main character decides to fight a war not by killing, but rather saving lives.

[@GreyWithAnE42]

The most romantic line I’ve ever heard in my life has to be “In another life, I would have loved just doing laundry and taxes with you.”

[@lemonicowo]

i heard that a more apt translation would be “in a next life” or “if there is a next life” vs in another life. just makes this line even sweeter to me, instead of a sorrowful wish for something you cant get, its more like a hopeful one. some of waymond’s lines are the most romantic out of any ive ever heard so just wanted to share ❤

[@GreyWithAnE42]

@@lemonicowo omg, loves spanning lifetimes always make my heart burn. That is so beautiful

[@Erica-en2qz]

Always makes me want to cry 😢

[@obliviousfantasy633]

I LITERALLY SOBBED.

[@FlyForAWhiteTy]

On tax day when I started laundry my ex messaged me and it hit me - the other future we imagined together. The green walls we'd paint in a coffee scented apartment with little pets. The little queer wedding I argued about with her smile blinding my imagination of its existence no matter who was invited, the attempt to adopt someday and trying to be anti-neglectful parents. We wanted to try our best together, we just weren't our best together so now it's like we switched into our alpha versions once breaking up. Today she came by to pick up camping gear and clothes, we went on a walk like best friends. We do more things on our own now, more than we could before. She's traveling to events and I'm working on my first writer's room for a movie with comedians I met. We want to be together and love each other but we can't ignore everything else in our lives anymore. I can see how she's becoming someone more like herself and I'm so happy she isn't stuck stretching across the distance ripping herself apart to be with me instead. In another life. I will always feel this.

[@trinaq]

Despite her villainy, you can't help but pity Jobu, since at her core, she's merely a scared, depressed young woman who desperately wants someone to connect with, and to convince her that life isn't as void and meaningless as she thinks it is.

[@officialmouse8470]

Not just anyone, her mother, specifically. The one who had put her in this situation to begin with. When all is said and done, she really just wanted to be with her mother.

[@xtltokioreal2736]

@@officialmouse8470 I am in this boat with you as well, for me it sees that Jobu went in this journey trying to find a version of her mother that would love her, she just wanted her mom.

[@Amanda-xs6eu]

AND despite her villainy, her outfits are absolutely amazing 🤩

[@graffititurtle11]

@@Amanda-xs6eu villains almost always have the best outfits tho

[@hannahs8404]

Exactly. Everyone needs some sort of support system. We aren’t meant to be live in solitude.

[@nolitimeremessorem]

This reminds me of one of my favourite lines of poetry: "How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?"

[@FrisbeeGorbeh]

What poem is this? That's such a strong line, I'd love to read the whole thing.

[@nolitimeremessorem]

@@FrisbeeGorbeh its "14 lines from love letters or suicide notes" by Doc Luben, you can actually find him reading the poem on youtube

[@FrisbeeGorbeh]

@@nolitimeremessorem thank you so much! ❤️

[@colbypatrick8910]

Ig by cherishing all that we have

[@yb9964]

I see your quote and raise you a “Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living.” Jonathan Saran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

[@deborahw2338]

I saw this film two days after starting antidepressants after years of spiraling. The emotional gut punch of Jobu's speech, "nothing matters", hit so hard. Then later when Evelyn says that nothing matters, so we can do whatever we want, it felt so healing. And Waymond's pleas to just be kind... This film means so much to me.

[@badabing661]

💗

[@notesbynor]

i hope those antidepressants are making your life better and your emotions more manageable! i started taking them as well and they have been life changing

[@camellia6147]

Same here but occasional spiraling without the meds lol. The resolution at the end gives me so much hope and the story hits WAY harder when you know that personally you’ll never get that kind of closure emotionally with a parent so you just kind of have to live vicariously through Joy. The most perfect movie honestly.

[@EH23831]

Such a great movie- there’s something in it for everyone. The mother daughter stuff hit me hard

[@sugarguts]

i agree! i’ve had a similar experience when viewing the film for the first time.

[@thelastdictator482]

As much as I love Jamie Lee Curtis and am happy she got an Oscar, it's practically a crime Stephanie Hsu didn't win. Her performance WAS the movie. I'd even contend that, of the main four, Jamie Lee's was the role that could have been played as well by someone else, while Stephanie, Michelle, and Ke just wouldn't have worked nearly as well.

[@judeberri]

My thoughts exactly. Stephanie was a real strength of this movie. Apparently, Awkwafina was originally going to be Joy but had scheduling conflicts and drop the role. I know the movie wouldn't be the same without Stephanie.

[@reppinseattle7974]

THANK YOU!!!! This is what I keep telling everyone!! All I keep hearing is the blah blah blah about Jamie lee Curtis, ke and Michelle. Stephanie hsu was irreplaceable.

[@if3359]

Totally agree!!!

[@charlieflickinger7372]

IDK if anyone else could have played Deidra like JLC did, HOWEVER Stephanie Hsu should have won the award. JLC knocked it out of the park, however Hsu almost stole the entire movie. If she hadn't been acting against Yeoh I think Hsu would have possibly been nominated for leading actress.

[@thelifestruggleisreal]

i didnt really understand why people were upset wijn Jaime Lee Curtis winning the Oscar and then i watched the movie a few weeks ago and i understand what everyone was talking about the movie as a whole was one of the best Ive ever watched BUT Stephanie was the best part of it she was an amazing villain and i loved her so much in it

[@jckung3914]

Another detail most people, incl. me, missed: When Evelyn confronted her father in the laundromat and re-introduced Becky to him, she spoke in 3 different languages. She first asked her father why he let her go so easily in Cantonese. She switched to English when she grabbed Joy and pulled her in front of him. THEN she switched to Mandarin when she said just like herself, Joy had found someone who's loving and caring. In the film, Gong Gong spoke Cantonese. Waymond spoke Mandarin. Evelyn switched to Mandarin because she wanted Waymond to hear her acknowledgement that he's the loving/caring partner for her. This film handles the language details so well.

[@ladyserenity5]

Wow! That's an amazing detail I didn't know. Thank you for sharing

[@curtishammond6031]

I remember sitting in the cinema crying my ass off as a rock started moving over towards another rock and I was like yeah OK this deserves every award.

[@footlong7980]

I've seen people say her conversation with alternate rich raymond is what made them cry, but to me it was always that particular rock scene and that one only.

[@siddharthseetharaman2607]

YES!! I teared up at the Waymond scene too, but the rocks were the ones that got me proper!!

[@timaratw]

SAME MAN! I cried so many times! One of my favorite scenes for sure!

[@et12345]

I cried my ass off while watching it on the couch at home with my parents

[@singulariteas]

they made me SOB over two rocks

[@stressedandunimpressed]

The difference between positive nihilism and negative nihilism in this movie is *exquisite*. Sometimes we're too bagel and we need to be more googly eye

[@Keysi_6]

I have adhd and other mental disords...so often strufgle in life and with appoinments. I have a calender book from my mom and she had googl eyes on her desk. so I put them on to my book xD but one feel of. And I didnt glued it back. And I feel öike it fits very well with me, trying my best, still losing but...but I am a half google eye. and my book is black

[@stressedandunimpressed]

@@Keysi_6 I'm the exact same way! I actually decided to prank (is it a prank?) my office yesterday and put Googley eyes on everyone's phones and the kitchen appliances and I think it brought some much needed levity

[@Keysi_6]

@@stressedandunimpressed yeahhh. . but the thing with my book was two years ago xD i was foreshadowing my self xD and yes I would say prank.

[@fibersden638]

I wish there is a love button

[@kat-wl3jf]

Omg that's such a nice quote Sometimes, we're too bagel and we need to be more googly eyed HAHA

[@sierralovat5498]

The best part, in my opinion, is when Evelyn finally stands up to her father "It's okay if you can't be proud of me, because I finally am." As someone who is not living up to my parents' standard, I NEEDED to hear that. How many children, both young and adult, need to hear that too?

[@GayzIntoHorror]

And the scene when Evelyn is pulling Jobu, then Waymond and her father join in too. I thought that shot was beautiful

[@brewdaly1873]

My mom pretty much stopped having anything to do with me and my siblings after we decided not to follow her religious cult. When Evelyn asks "How was it so easy for you to let me go?" I felt that in my soul.

[@ElMeach]

Sometimes we even need to tell ourselves we don't have to live to the standard we "think" our fathers have of us.

[@Tolly7249]

I had a relationship like this with my mother for a long time. It's improved now, as I've gone to therapy and made it very clear to her that her standards would never have worked for me even if I wasn't disabled and trans, and she's finally learning to let go of the mental image she had of the perfect Christian daughter she was never going to get. It's taking time and hard work but damn is it nice to finally have a decent relationship with both of my parents instead of just one.

[@rmarieshen862]

me

[@dannietea]

Absolutely off topic, but Jobu has some of the best costumes I’ve ever seen.

[@lkf8799]

Yes! Hope she got to keep the Elvis one 😜

[@C-SD]

And the make up!

[@kevinchong5424]

I really want to know what they told the designers to do. I'm imagining the whole room going 'They let us do what?!'

[@veggiet2009]

Not too off topic, they like to talk about the filmmaking not just the therapy

[@queenrayna]

Absolutely not off topic, fashion helps tell the story of oneself and their psyche especially in movies. Costuming is one of the more important storytelling devices in my opinion. I mean what would you wear if you weren’t limited to time, or social conventions, or trends? Jobu’s outfits is the answer 😂❤

[@ericaoiticica7522]

The way you describe Evelyn not being able to accept that she screwed up. “It can’t be ME that drove my daughter to insanity” is probably what goes inside my mother’s head every single day. Even she shows SOME compassion, it NEVER comes with recognition of what she did / does. Man this one hits hard

[@AegixDrakan]

Same with my family. When someone feels like they did the best they could and that they're a good person, it takes exceptional mental maturity to accept that you messed up, and hurt someone along the way. Our egos are often way way WAY too strong, and that just leads to more harm. :(

[@ladyredl3210]

My mother is exactly the same. I’m white, but in every other aspect, Joy’s story is mine.

[@bluz1864]

I think it's the same for my mom but I think she finally is making progress to accept what she contributed to messing me up. She's not quite there yet BUT when she finally told me that "maybe if I listened sooner, you wouldn't have this much anxiety and depression". Not that much but I'll take it.

[@sandra4933]

@@AegixDrakan uhhh i hate that I relate to this. I literally had my brother try to convince me I was hallucinating and having false memories because he can't accept that he messed up🤦‍♀

[@maeannengo4908]

@@sandra4933 Yikes that your brother is gaslighting you

[@samanthawilliams549]

When I first saw this in theaters all I could think of was how this is literally the only thing I’ve ever wanted to hear my mother tell me and I started crying. I felt embarrassed until I looked over at my husband and realized he was crying. And so was the couple behind us. And the group next to us. And then realized everyone in the theater was crying. This movie will never not make me cry.

[@ThatGamingKid45]

When I first saw this I was legitimately bawling at the end of it. Which was a surprise for me, because I’m not usually one to cry at movies. Yet, this movie, which immediately became my favorite, made me straight up sob.

[@rubykgarrett]

facts there has not been a single watch (there's been about 9) where it hasn't failed in making me SOB

[@angelad.campell]

I always cry...

[@onemouthymerc]

I can definitely cry at regular emotional parts of movies, but it's very rare for a movie to make me cry multiple times like this one. I still cried as they were talking about it haha!

[@natm2443]

This one didn’t make it for me. I guess I need accountability too 😂😂😂😂 still a very good movie.

[@AlienToppedPancakes]

The Everything Bagel makes total sense. You can put as much toppings on it as you like . Absolutely cover it with potensial, the chance to succeed, the possibility to become whatever you like. But if that bagel doesn't feel like it can live up to that expectation then there will always be a massive, gaping hole of nothingness in the middle of it.

[@pedroedmond4343]

plus it looks like the opposite of the googly eyes

[@Intranetusa]

@Pedro Edmond, yep. The Daoist yin yang and the idea that different or opposing elements balancing each other out.

[@stawbury7413]

Profound words

[@tinycandypanda]

That is exactly how I feel, I’m gonna screenshot your comment and put it in my journal, thank you so much for articulating it

[@Intranetusa]

The everything bagel might also represent a sensory overload of too many things that prevents you from enjoying the bagel. Joby says that becoming one with everything causes a "A lifetime of fractured moments" where you're never fully present to enjoy any particular moment or thing.

[@tastyneck]

Apparently Michelle Yeoh convinced Daniels to have the dialogue in the rocks scenes to be text rather than spoken... and it's a genius change in a film made up entirely of genius moments and dialogue. More importantly, I feel SEEN by this film.

[@AdamK370]

im so glad she did, because nothing can ever make me cry harder more consistently than that scene. reading it yourself just adds something to it, because you hear it in your own voice, not them. being able to do it like that always makes me forget abt evelyn and joy for a second and project myself and my mother onto it, and THATS the part that makes me cry i think ;,)

[@jackservans6906]

I love to believe there’s an alternate universe where Alan is the Licensed Therapist Who Loves Movies and Johnathan is the Professional Filmaker Who Needs Therapy

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

😱

[@ellenzheng4317]

@@CinemaTherapyShow Hey! Can you bring an Chinese-American guest onto the show? Especially since this is the second video made on this film. I really think they would be able to add a lot of interesting discourse, both culturally and linguistically (a second-gen Cantonese woman w/ LGBTQ background would be best!)

[@Homesicktraveler]

That is utterly terrifying, I love it. Also, Alan without needing therapy? What kind of sorcery is this?

[@rockinraven101]

If you see Stephanie's audititon, she came in with such strong decisions and they asked her to sing that "sucked into a bagel" line and she did it so perfectly that they kept it exactly like that in the final version

[@the_furf_of_july4652]

Wasn’t that improv on her part?

[@rockinraven101]

@@the_furf_of_july4652 they asked her to sing it but she made up the tune herself kzbin.info/www/bejne/a2jWlpKvaamjjqc

[@bryonyperecat5954]

I would love to hear more of her singing. (And the tune kind of sounds like it's a Poe song.... I wonder if she's a fan?)

[@reinclxudd2916]

@@bryonyperecat5954Stephanie does broadway and musicals! She is the original Christine in the Be More Chill musical!

[@CinnamonQuills]

@@reinclxudd2916 And Karen the Computer Wife in the Spongebob musical!

[@trinaq]

Stephanie was brilliant, and her Oscar nomination was thoroughly well deserved. Her elaborate costumes are also very well crafted, as is her teardrop make-up, making her seem like she's perpetually crying.

[@lkf8799]

Loved her performance. I hope she gets to keep the Elvis costume 😜

[@thespecialthings]

I know she won't win, but I would be so so happy if she did

[@imageez]

​@@thespecialthings the problem with great movies with great actors is that only one of them gets a crown. And we can only hope she gets another banger project to get her own crown.

[@coldgrandpa]

I believe she deserved it more than Jamie lee curtis

[@kpdelaney6460]

@@coldgrandpa 100%

[@Blitzo8390]

Who knew one of the most emotional movie moments of 2022 was a conversation between two rocks?

[@mnels5214]

Agree. And one of the rocks put on googly eyes, and it was emotional. Where did that come from?

[@divyak9980]

Honestly, the first moment in the movie to make me cry was the one with the rocks, I could not believe how ridiculous it was that two rocks were making me SOB!

[@myskinwasdullgold]

"How did you let me go? How on earth did you do it so easily?" As someone who grew up fatherless, these are the questions that stuck with me. I lost it in the theatre. How does one not feel unworthy of love when their own parent can so easily throw it away? This movie was so incredibly real, it's beautiful but it also hurts to watch it.

[@bluz1864]

While I can't understand the exact pain you have, I can somewhat understand not having a father. He was "there" when he wanted to be and whenever there was a family event my mom took me too then he died 11 years into my life. Ironically; he's the reason I'm here. My mom outright admitted that he was the one who said they should keep me - and yes, I do have conflicting feelings with my mother too. It really does suck that most of us relate to this on some level but at the same time, it's so healing to know people get it

[@mj_2484]

This is the exact scene where i also sobbed so much tears.

[@sayjaibao01188]

That's very understandable that this hurts you. Hope u find a chance to fully heal. 🙏

[@avourrito1819]

I haven't lose any of my parents but I feel like one day they will let me go or possible case, ban me from coming back. They're very homophobic and I don't wanna hurt like this anymore. Unknowingly being rude to her due to the resentment I have and knowing how less faith she have in me with every expectations

[@doctorwholover1012]

It hits especially hard in this movie, because you've just spent the entire movie watching Evelyn trying desperately to help her daughter, fix her, chase after her, protect her, get through to her etc, across the literal multiverse - and she looks at her father, who gave up on her so easily, and says "HOW could you? how COULD you? How could YOU?" - Because as we just saw, Evelyn couldn't. She just couldn't. She saw her daughter, every version of her daughter, in pain, doing something awful, being the worst version of herself, and went after her. To the end of all realities (the bagel). Evelyn was literally ready to destroy herself with her daughter if it meant she didn't have to do it alone, and Evelyn's dad wouldn't even let her be happy with her partner. She looks at her dad and has that moment of 'I'm a parent now, I understand the parental bond + emotional intensity of it. I've had to watch my only child do all of the worst things I could imagine them doing, and I STILL couldn't do what you did. How could you?' And its the most impactful intergenerational parent scene I've seen.

[@spheal608]

I think the most profound thing in the movie was towards the end when Joy screams “Can you please just STOP” and the music stops, the cuts stop, and it’s her outside the laundromat letting all her frustrations out. Idk why but that one line hits so hard it’s impossible to quantify

[@janetdang5890]

I feel like for me, that scene and on was everything I ever wanted to do: finally release all my frustrations and grief and let the universe know that I just want everything to stop. Everyday I feel like it’s just tuck your head, do all that you have to, and quietly tolerate all that makes you unhappy, so just that release would’ve meant everything to me at the time I watched the movie.

[@gen_li7725]

In that line I can feel joy’s frustration and utter exhaustion with all of it. All of it being family on a micro scale and life generally on top of that. Things move so quickly, and it gets faster and faster the older we get (referring to how each year of your life is proportionally a smaller amount of your overall life as you get older so time can feel like it’s passing faster) she didn’t get to have a say in so much of it, she’s trying to tread water, she’s failing even at that, getting swept under and then she says stop. It’s a moment to breathe just like the rock moment, but instead of being an absence of anything like the rocks, it’s the overwhelming pressure of everything.

[@rebeccamfsmith]

I cry everytime at this point in the film. It's one of my favorites

[@graceyu3318]

To carry the name, Joy....... the weight and pressure of it. The never ending feeling of not good enough to bring joy and honor to self and the whole family. I feel for Jobu.

[@XmarkedSpot]

name checks out. Good luck!

[@fantasyfinal89]

I’m surprised by the name because it’s the same name I gave my sister and she is also going through depression right now…it makes me wonder if I should have given her another name

[@joybird144]

Being named Joy it is soo true omg. It is silly but such a resounding pressure at times.

[@doctorwholover1012]

Literally being named your parents pride and Joy....... oof 😢

[@FlyForAWhiteTy]

When your name can be used as a demand for something shameful to not provide, what a parental power move without realizing it

[@bludreem121]

What gets me so much is Joy/Jobu saying, "I wanted to see, if I go in, could I finally escape. Like, actually die?" Because Jobu experiences every universe simultaneously, even if she kills herself in one, there is a universe in which she didn't. How many times has she "tried to escape" only to open her eyes a moment later, in a new universe?

[@IceMetalPunk]

I still don't understand how she says those words, yet there are still people who don't get that it's a thinly veiled metaphor for depression and suicidal thoughts. She literally says, multiple times in multiple ways, "I want to stop hurting by escaping into death", and somehow there are still people being like, "depression? Suicide? Nah, I don't see it." It must be nice to be so distant from depression that you don't even recognize it even when it literally announces itself in your face.

[@Keysi_6]

​@@IceMetalPunkyeah my brothe ris one them he felled aslepp while I was sobbing. (I am the only one in my family going to therapy, bc of family, and my family someitmes still act as therapy is some ancient unreal stuff or depression. My mom wa söittleraly like "oh what did make yous ad today?somethign has to happened" no my sometimes my depression just took over without at a occasion

[@Peppermt]

@@Keysi_6 "a raccoon took over and controlled my body and it didn't know what to do with me" anyway, i wish you good healing

[@Keysi_6]

@@Peppermt 😂😂😂😂 omg grom now on I will use this phase if someone asks me "how are you?"

[@ladyreverie7027]

This is the idea of reincarnation. There's a very deep spiritual idea in this. It's why Buddhists want to escape the cycle of samsara.

[@austincrawford9604]

I personally love the scene when jobu walks in as Elvis and Evelyn says, "joy, why do you look so stupid"

[@Keysi_6]

for me it was even more funny because the day before I watched Elvis xD

[@robhazan5961]

One other aspect of Jobu that you didn’t really discuss is that she is also depressed because she has a pessimistic viewpoint of what is happening in her present. Sci-fi Jobu looks at happy moments as “statistical inevitabilities” that mean nothing because every one of them is balanced by a crappy moment somewhere else in the multiverse. But that has the real world analog of someone not allowing themselves to enjoy a happy moment because they expect sadness later. “This relationship might be great right now, but I don’t want to get my hopes up because they tend to fall apart.” The mindset of expecting the worst poisons immediate happiness. And when Evelyn tells Joy to ignore the noise, she is trying to tell her to forget the possible futures and just enjoy the moment.

[@maxwellgrimsley]

One thing that I realized recently, that makes me love this film even more, is that while raccacoonie is absolutely stupid and hilarious, it still parallels the more serious universes. It’s still about someone losing the one they love and treasure most. And because it’s objectively stupid, it shows that even things we deem unimportant and silly can mean the world to others, which feeds directly into Waymond’s speech saying that we have to be kind especially when we don’t understand. I swear every time I watch this film I just find even more new ways to appreciate it 😭💕

[@amadarobles6415]

I work with middle and high school students. The conversations I have with them are equal parts hopeful and sad because they’re exposed to all the teen-specific dangers of the world while being expected to solidify their viewpoints and find meaning. It seems like overstimulation: “it doesn’t matter it’s gonna keep happening why should I be the one to do anything”. It makes Jobu’s struggles SO FRIGGIN RELATABLE to these kids

[@audellaquinbe]

I'm really curious about this too, but as an adult or a teacher what can we do for these kids?

[@pennyforyourthots]

​​@@audellaquinbe I would say provide safe spaces where they have no expectations (giving them some respite from reality) but also provide them with with healthy and structured outlets to try and minimize that overstimulation by allowing them to fail before it actually matters. Aside from that, just try to improve society generally. A lot of their issues are worsened by the problems that face adults as well (homelessness, poverty, etc).

[@blanqui2040]

This is what I was thinking during the whole movie. I wish I could've seen the film at 15, because I would have felt so seen and understood for once. It's a crushing representation of depression and teenage struggling, and a very accurate one. No matter if the one putting the expectations is your mother, your father, your community or the whole society/culture you belong to. No kid should have to deal with this, and it's been messing our minds for too long now.

[@PhotonBeast]

​@audellaquinbe As others have said, allowing and accepting failure in safe ways; reminding them that it's not failure that is bad but the feelings of shame OF failure, often from others, but sometimes from oneself. On the philosophical side, if nothing has meaning and there is no hope, then it means they have the power to create meaning and hope in whatever they wish - the world is fertile ground in which to make something. They don't have to be an outspoken activist and it's not on any one individual to fix 'the system'. It's collective action and that means even small action has power. It could be giving support to a neighbor in need. It could mean making sure a co-worker gets home safely. It could be saying something or challenging somone to provoke growth. As in the movie, Waymond is as important as Evelyn is - he fights in his own way. Without him, Evelyn's and Joy's paths would have been far more impossible. Indeed, without each other, none of them could have ended up where they did.

[@hcxpl1]

As Uncle Iroh once said: "In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength"

[@ellenzheng4317]

I know this might just be a passing comment, but why bring ATLA into this? Not that I don’t appreciate ALTA - it’s definitely a cultural icon, but it really doesn’t have any similarities to EEAAO, now, does it? (besides it being Asian-inspired fantasy media) I mean, honestly, ATLA is historically based and has a completely different plot (and even though I feel it is well researched, you can’t deny that the majority of the writers and cast are white / non-Asian/Inuit). It makes me (and a lot of people) feel discouraged that Asian culture is constantly shown / though of as a monolith rather than individual cultures. This is obviously not a dig towards you specifically, but I though it was meaningful to bring up, and good to dare to hopefully provoke thought and understanding.

[@hcxpl1]

@@ellenzheng4317 Ohhhhh, it's actually bc Waymond's character and his whole kindness spiel reminds me of Iroh, one of my favourite characters; and I don't remember the specifics but towards the end of the video Jonno did say something to the same effect of this phrase. I can see where you are coming from though, I think in this case it was but a coincidence.

[@Pokepucky]

You know why the actors play this pain so convincingly? Cause its basically the childhood of all asian kids :‘D

[@Intranetusa]

Joy's cousin must have been a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.

[@GrueTurtle]

​@@Intranetusa all of the above. And he's only 22.

[@bluz1864]

@@GrueTurtle And he was always top of the class too, don't forget.

[@Lyrielonwind]

Narcissistic mothers (and father's) are everywhere. In Latin cultures we get the same crappy childhood. And the end, you come to realize that they have children so they won't be alone when they are old but in order to do that, the daughter must be crushed to a crummy bagel. Narcissism is the ancestral curse of humankind.

[@13Kr4zYAzN13]

Fuck, I _am_ an engineer, and I *_STILL_* have this pain

[@crackysr2961]

man it's so difficult to watch scenes from this movie and not cry

[@CFM7]

i cried just watching clips in this video. whole movie makes me laugh & cry at the same time in the best way

[@conversechews]

true:currently a blubbering mess

[@frumiousbandersnatch]

Don't fight it, it's a good, healing cry.

[@chelseafreeman4080]

ikr hearing Evelyn say "I will always want to be here with you" made me SOB

[@Arguing.With.Idiots.]

Personally the most effective film to watch if I ever wanted to cry for various reasons. It's so damn weird how it has yet to not make me feel anything after watching it so many times.

[@seekittycat]

When Joy was just staring sadly into space listening to her mom rant about her dad in the laundry mart it was like staring into a mirror of my own self as a teen. You also have something you want to say but you know your mom won't hear it nor does she notice that you're not listening. It's like you're in the same space but you're in two parallel universes.

[@nicoles2159]

Hearing my mom apologize to me for pushing me extremely hard as a teenager was one of the most healing moments of my life. She acknowledged that she wanted me to have a better future than her and I read between the lines- she never wants me feeling stuck in an abusive relationship as she did. We're working on re-building and as you can imagine, my eyes were swollen from crying after this movie.

[@Micbemac]

You'll also note during the scene when they are both staring at the bagel at 14:25 that Evelyn squints at the center of the bagel, as from her perspective it isn't empty, there is something in the center of it, she just doesn't recognize what it is at this point. This drives the later plot point, where she accepts Joy entering the bagel as realizes that the center of the bagel is literally and figuratively Joy.

[@Keysi_6]

ohhh good point. That could fit really well.

[@roystonng8642]

I interpret the part where Evelyn blames Jobu Tupaki for Joy's issues to represent something else. It isn't Evelyn thinking that external things are to blame for Joy not measuring up to her expectations, because Jobu is a part of Joy. This instance felt a lot like what my parents would do to me. Saying things like, if it wasn't for your mental illness, or laziness, or lack of motivation you would be perfect. It calls to the forefront problems that they see in me, while completely disregarding the actual problems. I'm also gay, burnt out, and stressed all the time from the pressures of everyone in my family needing me to succeed at an early age. None of my family accepts my sexuality despite me coming out years ago. I had to watch my sister bring home a boyfriend and see the acceptance and support that I will never have. Instead, I've had a good relationship torn apart by them by force, a never-ending array of hoops I need to jump through to earn validation that will never come, and being unable to ever tell the truth to my family ever again. It's easy to fall into the belief that nothing matters if this is your world.

[@susancornett4396]

Thank you for sharing your experiences. Thank you for sharing your pain. I know it's hard. I see you. You are not alone. Be well, find peace, allow for your own healing.

[@FriendsWithIssues]

Evelyn is still not taking accountability, which is why Joy's reaction - sighing and dropping her head - has two meanings. 1. What are you talking about? 2. You still don't get it. Evelyn was getting through, had the chance to finally say what Joy needed to hear, but instead wanted to fix the problem than relate to her daughter. She didn't want to look inward. She still wanted to blame something else, and worse yet, blame her other daughter. But that's because Evelyn didn't like herself, and definitely blamed herself for her own circumstances, and her daughter was an unwanted mirror.

[@johnkeable5304]

Even Thanos would be afraid of Jobu Tubaki. She was such an amazing villain

[@catwiesel_81]

I dont think she even was a villain. maybe antagonist, but not villain

[@sakareeh]

@@catwiesel_81she was a villain. Girlie murdered people

[@Vi_Vi_1]

Thanos wouldn't stand a chance against her, she's WAY more creative than him with her powers 😂

[@Lucerious92]

@@Vi_Vi_1imagine Thanos being slapped to death by dildos

[@kevinchong5424]

As the eldest child of a family with Chinese origins living in Europe, who is also gay, this movie hit sooo close to home. Especially the first 10min with Joy getting denied to introduce her girlfriend was so hard to watch, that I needed to stop there, and pick it back up weeks later

[@wilhelmpaulm]

Man same, I'm the first born of a half Chinese family with 3 sisters. I broke down the minute she said friend. My mom called my bf the devil and told me to never bring him to the house ever again. Moved out after a few months and now were 10 years together.

[@justanotherupscaspirant8837]

Can't even THINK of showing this movie to my family because of the homosexuality scene. No mention of it even ends well. My elder cousin tried and now my entire family barely talks to her anymore. So i really hope you know that sometimes you just have to accept the fact that your family may never accept you for who you are. It very rarely ends as nicely as it does in movies. But as long as you accept yourself, everything will be okay. This is what I told my cousin and it seemed to help her so I hope it helps you too

[@morriemukoda45]

The Bagel=Suicide. That is why that final scene is so inherently gut wrenching…her mom literally pulls her out from her suicide right at the very last moment. Side Note: this episode has the best ever sponsor ad😂😂😂

[@sheepysnowtato824]

It hit me so hard cause it wasn't just that she pulled her out last minute, she was originally going to hold her back against her own will, but let go when she realized that forcing her to live would not fix the true source of pain Jobu was experiencing. She reflected on herself better and actually addressed what needed to be said. She let Jobu make her own choice even if it would've emotionally hurt her, and it's Jobu who cho.oses to live and reaches out first, which of course, Evelyn is right there, ready and more than willing and happy to pull her back.

[@lillianwolfe8314]

Gotta love that Stephanie was asked to sing "sucked into a bagel" during her audition; she improv'ed it on the spot, and they kept it on!!!

[@Gwenx]

"She can't see that she has messed her daughter up, because shes tried so hard not to. She has tried so hard to, work hard, provide this life for this family, and take care of everybody, that the idea that doing all of that, and she still effed it up, she cant even allow herself to go there. Its too scary, it has to be someone else's fault." You are describing my mother right there, and it hurts... Holy shit.. I am even moving past it as an adult, but she keeps trying to excuse herself, or my life, because both me and my sister ended up, without education, only able to work a few hours a day, and way to late discovered Autism..

[@queerprose]

Stephanie Hsu killed it! Thank you for devoting an ep on this. I think EEAAO had a wonderful way of portraying suicide without glorifying or glamorising it.

[@allyjay7395]

Joy is Jobu Tupaki and Jobu is an amalgam of all Joys across the multiverse. It's so sad that not one of them felt reason enough to live bc the internalized worthlessness her mother instilled in her. I'm so glad this movie is getting the recognition it deserves.

[@allymofo2332]

oh so ur making me cry?

[@Firegen1]

I love this movie for making Stephanie Hsu a household name. I have adored her since she was in the Marvelous Mrs Maisel. She commands a camera!

[@trinaq]

Agreed, I'm delighted that this movie put Stephanie into the spotlight, and she's really fantastic.

[@Firegen1]

​@Trina Q hey Trina. Absolutely agree. I remember watching her in MMM and semi praying she would become a Hollywood A-Lister. They wasted her in Shang Chi.

[@trinaq]

@@Firegen1 Preach, I really felt that they could have used her more in the latter, though fortunately, her talent is now recognised, since she's an Oscar Nominee!

[@Leviachan-]

I found out about her in be more chill the musical! Been in love with her ever since 🫶

[@auldthymer]

The role of Joy was so full of traps; she avoided all of them.

[@freshoffthehook904]

I think the cascade effect of Jobu experiencing healing meaning all the other Joy's experiencing healing is a good metaphor for the generational trauma. She was taking on the legacy of all the other relationships that were each their own but still derived from the same source.

[@manimations7007]

Just got back from Therapy and was feeling a lot but nothing at the same time. Honestly needed this extra dose of Therapy with a movie mixed in. Thank you Jonathan and Alan for continuing cinema therapy! And all your hard work that makes this possible.

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

So happy to help. Thanks for watching!

[@Denashi]

Never before this movie, have I been moved to tears by two rocks in a desert! This movie is so. damn. brilliant.

[@having765]

Been horribly struggling with the subjects you're explaining with her as of recently, and I open KZbin and here this video is. I almost starting crying before I even clicked on it

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

🫂 🫂

[@morganfae3690]

According to my therapist, one of my problems is I think everything is my fault. That I don't hold other people accountable. But the only person I can change is myself, so to me its important to constantly look for my own mistakes, if you don't see them, you can't correct them. I do resonate hard with Jobu, I have always been too much, and not enough all at once. Desperate for human connections while terrified of it. Had that moment of my mom letting go. And that's where our moment stopped.

[@Lyrielonwind]

You are forgetting to acknowledge what you do right too. If you just count on your mistakes, you're not counting the rest of you. Self esteem is about loving your whole self, not just a part of you. You won't love yourself in a healthy way discounting your inner child.

[@sunnydisneylover]

That quote of being satisfied and being happy gave me the biggest ah-ha moment I’ve ever had and honestly made me cry. Thanks guys

[@hotarubinariko]

Same here. I've been struggling so much to just be content and happy with what I have. My partner always reminds me of all the things we get to enjoy, but my head always has me in the future, unhappy because all the things that are expected are just impossible now, like owning a house, but it's ok to be happy with what I have. I like my shitty dead end job, I've liked this one the most compared to "good jobs" I've had in the past, and we're making ends meet. Maybe it's ok that I'm not a millionaire or that I'm not the CEO that I was expected to be growing up. Maybe it's ok to be normal, average, ordinary. Maybe it's ok that's all I've ever wanted to be and maybe I can just be happy here. I'd like that.

[@RPGLover87]

My favourite bit about the multiverse reconcilliation of Joy and Evelyn is the admission that they aren't good for each other (at least right now), but that they are willing to do their best regardless - the fruit and planet versions literally destroy each other in those universes as they embrace, but it's also transformative, the planets destroy each other's physical forms, but they will hang out in space together as a single dust cloud.

[@yelansdeodorant2026]

And the planet scene reminds me of how earth and the moon was formed

[@MultiLeandrini]

My favorite part of the whole movie was when Jobu said: "I wasn't looking for you so I could kill you, I was just looking for someone who could see what I see. Feel what I feel." While watching this movie in the cinema my brain automatically added another sentence at the end. I don't know why. But in my experience the phrase was really there, I was so convinced the phrase was there, in fact, that I re-watched the whole movie just to search for it but I didn't find it. My brain added: "So that, maybe, you could explain how else am I supposed to interpret what *I SEE*". And in the cinema I cried in this part because I've done this for most of my life. I tried to share how I see the world, share how I understand it. Not because I want everyone to see it like I do. Or because my way is the best way to look at it. But because I was desperate for someone to me how else am I should look at things, what positive twist could I give to my experiences so that I wouldn't live in suffering, as I've done so far. That moment didn't come so far, but I've shifted my perspective since. I'm in a better place now, not because of someone in particular, but because I found (or created, actually) my own meaning. This movie, however, was so good. It unlocked memories I had forgotten. And it, too, improved my perspective. It makes so much sense to answer the fact "everything is meaningless" with "then we are free to invent our own meaning". This became one of my favorite movies ever, and I hope that it helps people as much as it helped me. ---- A lot of things in the movie felt like it partners up to my life. I am a hard working scientist, currently starting my PhD. It would be reason enough for any parent to be proud, my mom is proud obviously. But is a shallow pride, because she has come from humble beginnings she doesn't understand my work in the slightest. Often times she says stuff that remind me that she doesn't *see* me. She often says that I don't work, or that my work is an easy thing to do. I don't even get mad because I know she doesn't understand, I tried to explain multiple times but I don't think she ever will understand. I work the normal 40h in a lab, and I have to do so much research during my off hours, I have to write papers and thesis in my off hours. It is mentally exhausting. I wish she understood, but at the same time "nothing matters" and her understanding wouldn't change my condition, it would only give me the feeling of someone being proud of me. But I repeat what I said previously "we are free to invent our own meaning". So I pretend she understand, I pretend she sees who I am. Maybe in another universe.

[@catrocastre8215]

Maybe she's angry? Maybe she would happily trade all the work you have to do for hers. She woulda loved to have that chance. Anyway, congrats on your job.

[@AndrewLoui]

You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.

[@jace_d]

I think you may be misremembering that phrase from another scene: in the rock scene, Jobu says "I've been trapped like this for so long, experiencing everything... I was hoping you would see something I didn't... That you would convince me there was another way." And it happens just before the scene where she says she actually made the bagel to try and die.

[@MultiLeandrini]

@@jace_d oh my god thank you so much. I found it! A thousand thank you's

[@blahblahblah02]

My mom bought some bagels from the store and now everytime I go to eat one I sing "Sucked into a bagel" and she cracks up laughing. Definitely one of my favorite movies of all time, and the performances are just *Chef's kiss*.

[@sayjaibao01188]

😅😅😅

[@debbiemoore2747]

Alan. If you read this. Know I no longer feel disappointed in myself. I actually love myself and am proud of who I am. It has taken a long time and taken a lot of therapy and self work. I had to do most of it with no support but I got there. It is possible. You're amazing.

[@pluviosity]

Evelyn's micro-refusal (if that even a word) to Joy's mental health problem feels really familiar. Particularly in Asian community. It's like: you got food on your table, you can talk, you can breathe, there's absolutely no way you can be depressed, you are fine, why you're making yourself sad.

[@antoninapiast5993]

I just want to give Alan a hug 🥺 We all are proud of you! We’d be proud of you even if you decided to leave this channel and work on a lama farm because, despite not knowing you personally, we care and we want you to be happy

[@Luyalist]

The way I still cry after watching clips of this movie multiple times, especially during Joy/Jobu's lines... Stephanie Hsu's performance is truly phenomenal!

[@Vi_Vi_1]

Right 😂 just the CLIPS have my crying, what the heck, this movie is TOO POWERFUL

[@rachelhobbs3604]

"I still haven't figured out how to deal with my disappointment in myself." God, I felt that. For what it's worth, I hope you both know that you've touched lives. You and your work matter because we see ourselves in stories -- especially in movies. Thank you for all you do.

[@sarahoden-marr8353]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! Jobu could really be any of us, and I think that's what makes her such a compelling character. We are all capable of becoming Nihalistic without proper love and acceptance

[@MahoroAndou]

Having had the joy of growing up with Asian parents, this movie really depicts that pain I went through. And in a way still going through. My parents took their anxiety and self hatred and took it out on us. I love your statement about satisfaction vs happiness. They are so convinced that if you do A, B, C then you'll be a success. That once you do this, or that, your life will be complete and you'll be happy, not realizing that you will always be chasing something. And then you're so busy chasing that elusive satisfaction that you miss all the happy moments that did happen in your life despite not being satisfied. In the movie they showed it with her remembering those happy moments, and it was a beautiful reminder that focusing so much on what you don't have or could have had, you miss out on life itself.

[@IamARobot7]

Jobu Tupaki's costume choices make me think that every morning she takes a dive into a thrift shop that is completely made out of tuned up Hot Topic clothing.

[@Keysi_6]

I think if kothing matters and Idc about the society and I dont needed to par for it. I would like to cloth like this

[@leonaschaffer9198]

A second episode dedicated to this movie?! More proof that this movie is truly one of the best movies in recent history.

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

Yep, and we hope to do more!

[@ellenzheng4317]

@@CinemaTherapyShow I would really like to see a guest brought in for your subsequent videos! If possible, someone who is a second-gen, Cantonese-speaking Asian American woman would be best! It would be great if they also had a connection with the LGBTQ community, since POC have a vastly different experience than white queer people.

[@dietotaku]

"no matter how hard i try, it's not good enough." no statement has ever or will ever break me down into a sobbing mess, break my SOUL, like that statement. i'm never good enough. nothing i do is ever good enough. no matter how hard i try, it's never good enough. i don't even like to think of joy/jobu tupaki as a villain. i don't see malice in her actions. i see unbelievable pain and rage, and no idea how to process it or where to direct it other than "at everyone, everywhere, all at once." just a supermassive supernova of pain collapsing into a black hole of hopelessness. evelyn has tried so hard to do everything right and it wasn't good enough. joy tried so hard to do everything right and it wasn't good enough. the only difference between them is that evelyn repressed her pain and joy vented it. i think between the two, i'd rather be joy than evelyn. because if i'm going to fuck everything up no matter what i do, at least i won't be hiding my feelings.

[@janettewong9900]

I watched this in the theatre, flanked by my partner and one of my best friends for moral support. My BFF turned to me at the end and said “based on everything I know about you, I’m not completely convinced you weren’t involved in the writing of this screenplay” I’m glad that this movie wasn’t centered around the trauma of immigration and that it’s a lot more universal the way it very much speaks to the pressure of carrying the burden of deferred dreams, how it’s so heavy and all encompassing that it leaves no space for the ones that care about us the most to see who we actually are underneath all that unrealized potential. One day you just realize and maybe come to accept that even if this person loves you to their best ability, you were born with the impossible job of filling in a hole in them that you didn’t put there. You can try but if they don’t see you, and only tolerate you at best, it’s only a matter of time where you either accept helping them live their life by proxy or you live for yourself. It doesn’t matter if it’s because you’re queer, you decided not to become a doctor, or just because you decided to get a tattoo - they tolerate us at best because the alternative is to disown us and it would be impossible to accept that the vessels they put all their hopes and dreams in decades later are worthless garbage. It’s easier for everyone involved to just accept that we will always be “full of potential.” For so many of us, this is reality and the movie magic is a parent developing a modicum of self awareness and that’s why it’s so cathartic

[@callmecharlie99]

God I feel this.

[@googoogaga7986]

My most favourite ‘villain’ ever tbh, she feels so close to myself and although I cannot relate to many things she goes through she is so realistic and so much of me collides with her as a character, it means so much to me to see someone who feels so much like me that I low-key end up rooting for her haha

[@frootte]

I also like to see the "Why you came looking for me through all of this noise" is both Evelyn talking to Jobu and Joy. Joy, in the "grounded" world, still saught out her mother's understanding for her life, her depression, her loneliness. And even when Joy blames her mother, and is frustrated with her mother, hates her mother... she still saught out that understanding and approval from her mother, even if she was the cause of a lot of it. It's, again, a double meaning(?) within the script. Evelyn is talking to both Jobu setting off that chain reaction AND to "reality" Joy (and all Joys, of course).

[@YoshMaster]

This, Eternal Sunshine and Mr. Nobody are my favourite movies of all-time and I’ve watched thousands of movies in my 38 years on this earth. They all hit directly into a portion of my soul. Aspects that troubles me like making choices (and in doing so choosing not to choose all the other choices), accepting that the hard moments of your life and your failures are part of who you are and not wanting to forget or “delete” them, learning to love yourself to better love others, being happy simply doing mundane things like laundry and taxes with someone who is always kind and supportive to you, etc. Close fourth would be Soul, because I’ve erred for pretty much my entire life, not knowing what I wanted to do of it, but now I’m happy being a simple stay-at-home dad and it’s more than enough for me! I no longer have the pressure of finding “the career that I will love” and I’m happy every day I wake up taking care of my beautiful, funny and loving daughter!

[@DJCashEel]

I finally was able to watch this and god it hit me so hard. Jobu was so scared of what she had seen and just wanted her mom back so badly. That's not to say she didn't do Awful things, but when you're that deep into the nihilism bagel and nothing feels like it matters, like you can't feel anything good anymore, you don't care what you have to do because if nothing matters, then consequences don't matter. And the Evelyn jobu had as a mom *put her there*, and I don't think people catch that often enough. Evelyn pushed her too hard and she went too far into the muck and was terrified at what she saw, and just wanted her mom again. Then our Evelyn finally gave her that love and acceptance to fight the nihilism and come back. It's messy, just like real life can be. I love it

[@ZombiBunni_]

Even just the clips make me sob every time. I love this movie so much

[@manthroat]

me too...everytime

[@janetdang5890]

I needed this. I watched the movie during one of the darkest phases of my life and listening to Jobu made me spiral hard. I kept watching analysis videos to try and understand the parts of the movie that I missed, as I was most likely too fixated on everything she was saying. It was the first time I’d heard what I felt spoken into reality, so now feeling like I understand the movie even better, this movie is such a sigh of relief. I’m still trying and I’m so glad this movie and the many analyses I watched kept me curious enough to keep trying to understand it all.

[@nerissarowan8119]

I hope things have improved for you. ❤

[@janetdang5890]

@@nerissarowan8119 thank you so much! It is getting better 💜

[@robertwinslade3104]

EEAAO pretty much instantly became my favourite movie ever as soon as I saw it (or atleast shares that spot with LOTR)! Would love to see a video from you talking about ADHD in relation to Evelyn (the Daniels confirmed she is written as having undiagnosed ADHD) Also, another piece of media I would love to see you talk about is Fleabag! I know you don't usually do tv, but it is very short (just 2 seasons each with a total runtime about the same as a movie), and there is just so much to talk about in terms of dealing with depression, guilt, grief, self hatred, and fixing broken relationships. Maybe the only other piece of media which has made me both laugh AND cry as much as EEAAO did! Truly phenomenal tv

[@waypou2004]

I cry a lot during this movie, but the boulder scene makes me straight bawl every time.

[@anneblackwood9013]

"When you lose a person, a whole universe goes along with them. Sometimes I picture all my other selves, standing in line like a row of dominoes; separate but part of the same disjointed whole. How can I hold a single one accountable? No one ever walks away from love, knowing they can never go back." from The Universe of Us by Lang Leav

[@Vi_Vi_1]

Just bought this book because of your comment, thank you for sharing

[@anneblackwood9013]

@@Vi_Vi_1 Omigosh no way!! Enjoy! 💙

[@sisithesecond5015]

Alan, as a very artistic person myself, I struggled with the whole concept of "never good enough" a lot too - the whole "it could have been better" made me terrified of showing anything to anyone beacuse I just was never happy with it myself. What help me a lot was the realization of "could have been better" does not equal " not enough". The fact that you get/should try and be better everyday does NOT mean your past self is not enough. You are always good enough. The potentional for being better does not change that. Especially if you are actively trying to work on yourself, you are the best version of yourself you are cabable of being right now and that is, in fact, enough. It can be hard to have this on your mind all the time but it is an important to internalize. Also it is great for getting rid of your past regrets, "I did the best I knew how" is a great way to forgive yourself (or other peple in fact). Another thing that helps me when I talk myself down is to just take a step back anthink "Would I say these things to my best friend?" The answer is always no. Basically - you are doing great and you can be proud of yourself! Well, that is all for my rant that you are probably never gonna read but maybe it helped at least someone! Self-love is a rough road but truly, try your best to be nice to yourselves, it is worth learning. I wish you the best of luck!

[@encyclogeekia1865]

I haven't even seen this movie yet and this episode still made me cry. Well done EEAAO, and Cinema Therapy

[@sayjaibao01188]

See it! It will be back in 1500 theaters for this weekend. To experience this on the big screen is amazing.

[@B2WM]

I missed it during the theatrical run, and I at once want to see it and already feel Evelyn way too hard as the awkward neurodivergent big sister who wants to fix everything for the brother with depression and can't. It's like, we grew up with a lot of the same existential influences, but we took them in very different bagel vs googly eye directions, and I worry that what I mean isn't what he hears. Our paths are similar enough that I say "here's how I screwed up, don't be like me," but sometimes that's inevitable and sometimes he's facing something entirely beyond my experience and I don't know it. Just love him anyway.

[@yepitstiffany]

I love all the EEAAO content!!! Please do a couples therapy with Waymond and Evelyn and maybe even another villain therapy for Deirdre 🥺🥺🥺💜

[@snowsays8978]

Last semester, my philosophy teacher had us watch this movie as homework for Nihilism. I loved this movie a lot because it does show the relationship between mother and daughter. My mother passed away in November, and Nihilism actually helped me deal with the grief I had after my mom passed away. I think that is why this movie meant so much to me. Because I never got the conflict resolution that Joy and Evelyn got.

[@katecritt]

Everything Everywhere All At Once is my favourite movie of all time, too! It's so profoundly silly and just actually profound all at the same time. I love that they didn't just solve everything with an epiphany. I love that the ending is messy, and doesn't neatly finish with everything solved but rather with everyone finding a healthier way forward, because that's what healing is like. The script is so good! The performances are incredible, the costumes are great, the action is great, the humour is unstoppable, the pacing is absurdly fine-tuned. This movie is everything. I love it to bits.

[@kingsevil5255]

"And you came to find me through all that noise" Sobbing at just a CLIP. While eating a burger. Damn.

[@toni_6625]

I watched this film on a first date, not knowing what would happen. In the end, i was absolutely blown away, laughing and crying at the same time while the other person absolutely hated the movie. Guess who stayed in ma live

[@SKYWalkersSG]

7:53 I think nobody mentioned a tear streaking down Jobu's cheek when she said that, such good acting from Stephanie Hsu

[@kittybailey672]

OMG "You've never been satisfied" I needed to bust out laughing on that but have this on my headset at work, so instead I just softly snorted over my keyboard. You just made my day XD

[@Mambo1061]

Looking closer at the scene where Jobu explains nothing matters and sings “sucked into a bægelll” reminded me of Slings and Arrows when an interpretation of Ophelia’s grief stricken songs indicating she’s gone “mad” is explained I think it makes perfect sense psychologically. When you’re that far into a mental breakdown and/or severe depression, the feelings of devastation and/or apathy and numbness can be so intense they come out in socially unacceptable or strange ways because you just can’t keep in or don’t care to keep in the absurdity always present somewhere in the human mind, or there’s literally no other way to express the magnitude of feeling, and it comes off “mad”

[@rubenpaniagua7390]

This is the Sophie appreciation comment. I appreciate Sophie for keeping up with those two goofballs and simultaneously doing an amazing job

[@derekhiemforth]

This film is just so amazing. It's the first film in over 20 years (since Mulholland Dr.) that I would say has to be in the conversation when you start talking about "the greatest movie ever made." It works on so many levels. I've seen it nine times now, and every time I see it, I catch new nuances to consider. I know that doesn't relate directly to the villain therapy, but anyone reading this who is on the fence about seeing EEAAO... *_see it_* . Whatever you expect it might be, it doesn't really matter, because it will be that, and it won't be. I went into it thinking it would be a wild cross-universe comedic martial arts adventure, like Big Trouble in Little China crossed with a Marvel world-or-timeline-hopping movie. And you know what? It is that. Definitely. But it's also completely not that at all, and it's also so much more than that. Sort of like the name implies, it feels like it's everything, everywhere, all at once. Is it comedy? Yes. Martial arts? Yes. Cross-universe? Yes. Wild and experimental? Yes. But also... is it tragedy? Yes. Horror? Yes. Science-fiction? Yes. Fantasy? Yes. Romance? Absolutely yes. Coming of age? Yes. Character study? Yes. Family drama? Yes, more than anything. It also has astounding performances. One of the top 10 female lead performances I've ever seen (Michelle Yeoh), which I think should unquestionably win the Oscar. Possibly THE single best male supporting performance I've ever seen (Ke Huy Kwan) that should also unquestionably win the Oscar. A truly great female supporting performance (Jennifer Hsu) that I think should win the Oscar. Another outstanding female supporting performance (Jamie Lee Curtis) that is rightfully nominated for the Oscar, even though I would give it to Hsu. And a performance that -- while not Oscar-nominated because there's not quite enough heft to the character's role in the movie to warrant it -- is still terrific, as he always is, by the immortal James Hong. The direction is mind-blowing. The screenplay alternates impressively between jabbing a poke into your funny bone and jabbing a dagger into your heart. The cinematography is just next-level; there are some amazingly beautiful shots, but even the imagery in places like laundromats and office buildings is first-rate. The music matches perfectly to the film, particularly its repeated use of "Clair de Lune." Everything all the way down to the production design and costuming is just ON POINT. Whatever you look for in a great movie, this movie has it. You owe it to yourself to see it. Rush right out and see it now. We'll wait. 🙂

[@nosedive1st]

What a great double feature this would be!

[@brittanywilcox7377]

Love the vulnerability here! I'm a highly creative individual and I understand that struggle with feeling like I need to do more all the time. I actually had to come to the place where I figured out everything was pointless and that was okay. I had to accept that I have value simply because I exist, and not because of what I can do. And you know what? I'm still driven! I still do a lot! But now I don't exhaust myself. Now I respect my boundaries. Now, I try to make myself happy. I hope everyone comes to a place where they realize life has no meaning and find great relief in that as I have.

[@sofialozano24601]

Thank you for this!! I’m about to go home and see my mom for spring break and I really needed to hear that last segment. Even if she’ll never be proud of me, even if I’ll never be enough for her, I’m going to work on being enough for me and being proud of me. Thank you so much internet Dads for always knowing the right things to say.

[@userkive]

OH MY GOD I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE! i’m also ready to be therapized :D

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

Hope you enjoyed it!

[@kealiiamaoli]

fun fact Stephanie Hsu came up with the “bagel” song on the spot during an audition! She is a broadway actress so not surprised. you can find the clip on youtube somewhere

[@longcat5364]

I watched this movie with my parents. My dad is autistic and my mum is a survivor of abuse. I've been going through a lot, mentally, in the last 10 years, and only in the last year I've started to feel normal again. But the relationship I have with my mum is fraying, to a point where I don't like to hug her anymore (and I'm a big hugger). When we watched this I cried so much because I really felt like Joy, in that I wasn't being understood by my own mother, especially when Evelyn wasn't seeing that it was her own actions that caused Joy's trauma. When I was first diagnosed with Depression, my mum didn't understand it and was trying to control how I should be living my life. She was convinced that the medication would be a hindrance more than a help and wouldn't try to understand my depression/mental health, until I inflicted pain upon myself (I'm fine now). My mum didn't have the same reaction about the movie that I did. She didn't understand the movie, the message, nor why Joy and Evelyn had that reconsiliation at the end. I think this was a profound moment in me realising that she wouldn't be able to understand me, thus making our relationship difficult, but I've recently begun to come to terms with it. I have other members of my family, I have work colleagues who are more like siblings and second parents, and I have my therapist. My dad didn't have much to say but also didn't quite understand it either. Still the best movie I've seen so far.

[@Repotion]

I swear I'm so grateful for all these movies that talk about mother- daughter - family relationships (like Red, Encanto and this one) I wish my mom could speak English to show her this video, we have so much to talk about 💕 thank you guys!

[@Shindai]

I love this channel lol. I so want my mother to see this movie. I identify with Jojo Topaki and Evelyn so much, it's me and mam's story. She's had to come to terms with my queerness, all the compassion but not always the understanding, but there for me, while I'm stuck in this bleak nihilistic void where I know that creating my own meaning should be liberating, but it feels crushing. No bagels, but very much the mood. The Daniels really created something profoundly awesome.

[@tungsten2009]

*jobu Pun intended?

[@Shindai]

@@tungsten2009 Alas, mere brainfart xD

[@Akira-nd1wi]

"We can be happy without being satisfied." Wow. For a long time now, I've associated being satisfied with happiness and I have made it my goal to be satisfied with my life and my achievements. I now realize I can be happy even before or without achieving my goals. I will still aim for them but I will not refrain myself from being happy or think that I cannot be happy if I cannot achieve them.

[@TheGrossDemon]

This movie always hits so hard. As a child I get it, as someone who wants to be a mother, no matter could happen, I would always want to be there with my children. This movie really gets love, every type of love. It's so good.

[@AlexOrozco-Social-Pariah]

Jobu Tupaki is very interesting also in queer coding. This is a VERY real and sad thing some parents do; they think their sons and daughters have gone through something bad, some bad influence or something that made their kids gay. Jobu Tupaki is a collection of all the flaws Evelyn saw in her daughter and it was her way to explain why her daughter was "acting out". An abstract, powerful and alien idea of "the problem" with her daughter, in order to be able to love her daughter while hating the problem itself. It's also a cynical way to distance themselves from anything that they perceive has gone wrong with their kids. Seriously this movie made me recall ALL that I've lived with my parents and how I've been able to heal my relationship with my parents in some ways, also how I ditched the idea of parental roles to see beyond them, the flawed humans that are allowed to make mistakes. Also makes me want to go to therapy.

[@JactheKnave]

I mean I never really saw Joy and Jobu as “separate”, because she is everything, everywhere, all at once. So when Joy says things are nonsense and she doesn’t understand, I saw it as another way of her trying to push her mother into a situation where she MUST internalize it to understand. Evelyn needs to find a way to comprehend, and can’t find a way unless she is forced to explain it to Joy/Jobu

[@ruesparks]

"I'm never good enough as a creator versus I'm never good enough as a human." Bullseye. Fellow member of the "was never good enough for my mother" & "never good enough as a creator" equals "never good enough at all" club. It makes so much sense how a lot of us creative people are so self-critical, not only because that's part of creativity, but also because we have the cultural narrative that creative people are "just like that." That brilliance and mental illness must forever be bound to be relevant. I've dealt with depression since I was a kid, and 30 years on still struggle with it (even with therapy.) This movie hit me SO HARD, and it is also my favorite movie of all time. It says so much, without being preachy and also being entertaining. Y'all covered a lot of the key moments. So glad you did this one!

[@AlexandraUtschig]

How is it that just clips of this movie make me cry?

[@jasonblalock4429]

9:30 This is exactly me whenever I try to explain EEAAO to someone who won't accept "just go see it" as a recommendation. Also, I just realized. Joy says the truth is that nothing matters. Evelyn and Joy are "nothing." They matter. Nothing(s) matter. The Daniels aren't just responding to nihilism, a'la absurdism - they're actually *co-opting* nihilism and turning the core concept on its head. God DAMN I love this movie.

[@amygunnells7381]

When I went to see this, I had never heard of it, so I knew absolutely nothing about it. But a friend wanted to see it so I went. I’m glad I knew nothing because if I had known it was about a mother-daughter relationship, I wouldn’t have gone. There are so many similarities between Evelyn/Joy and me/my mother that I left the theater in absolute tears (but laughing at the absurdity of the movie) knowing I’ll never have the understanding they eventually come to. And some of the things the two of you say in this video hits the nail square on the head. I feel it all over again. In particular, when Jono says Evelyn can’t understand how she messed up Joy because she tried so hard to not mess up Joy is a bit of a breakthrough for me in my own healing. Thank you both for this. This was an incredibly important movie to discuss, for me at least, and I hope others as well.

[@heatherrockwell9012]

Stephanie Hsu, who played Jobu, was previously most notable for playing Christine Canigula in the musical Be More Chill, which I was lucky enough to see and get a photo with her. I was both surprised and delighted to see that she went on to costar as my favorite character in one of my favorite movies ever made