Do I Want Kids?

[@Vox]

Thanks for watching the premiere episode of Season 2 of Glad You Asked! New episodes become free to watch on this channel every Wednesday. You can catch up on previous episodes here: bit.ly/3qJ4M5y Want some behind-the-scenes intel on this season? Sign up for our Vox Video newsletter: www.vox.com/video-newsletter

[@BroAnarchy]

@ITS ME 🤔 ANTIFA ok trolol

[@juhyeong730]

I think statistics on Korea are inappropriate. Because Korea spends a lot of money on private education, I don't think it's possible to get such a result

[@zinnsoldat6493]

@ITS ME 🤔 ANTIFA Bruh , for people in India it is normal to have 12 kids

[@poolerboy]

You missed a very important consideration: anti-natalist positions on not having kids. See David Benatar.

[@warfu_]

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for continuing this series. All of you behind the videos make amazing content 💙

[@xyouaresonaive]

I think we should change the question from 'Do you want to have kids?' to 'Do you want to be a parent?' as that is the crux of it. Kids aren't some accessories or a band-aid for other problems, they require care and time. Maybe if we focus more on the new role a person have to take on as a parent, rather than on 'acquisition' of a child people will reflect more before making the decision.

[@Mmmtruk]

THANK 👏 YOU👏

[@amandasunshine2]

I was also a prop

[@anaj9346]

That's so true!! And no I absolutely don't want to be a parent

[@prasadyoutube7823]

Not having a kid will be the best decision. More and more women don't want (or lack the quality) to be mother and /or wife. Men really don't have any clear rights when it comes to marriage or his own kids. It's a win-win situation for men. Have fun and walk away.

[@anaj9346]

@@prasadyoutube7823 agree a lot of men also lack the qualities to be good fathers, providers and husbands. Imagine being pregnant and breastfeeding and have a loser man. Yikes

[@TRamalho]

I'm Portuguese and I can guarantee that Portugal is so high in the happiness scale because the community helps to raise kids. Like, I have two nices, and I take care of them every single weekend, so that may brother and sister in law can rest or take a extra shift at work. It's not easy and am really tired all the time. I certainly don't wanna have kids of my own!

[@tahahagar7664]

You taking care of your nieces who are family isnt community tho... I mean its not like the local barber is taking care of them lol 😭😭

[@TRamalho]

@@tahahagar7664 no, but when I was young even the woman who delivers the bread took care of me, sooo😂😂

[@intermilan9731]

Isn't your country's population very small already?

[@TRamalho]

@@intermilan9731 and?

[@intermilan9731]

@@TRamalho Yall should having hundreds of kidssss!

[@Hysterii]

I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having kids.

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

THIS LOL

[@freckleheckler6311]

@@blackticalmayhem8461 what’s so funny?

[@jmatias78]

@@freckleheckler6311 yo mama

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

@@AJTheInvisibleGirl 😂👎👎👎👎

[@walkerassasin277]

Same bro. At least I won’t ever regret getting my dogs .

[@lurkzie]

Nothing wrong with not wanting kids. A pet can give you so much unconditional love and company

[@milliem8051]

I’m blessed with my cats and lots of nieces and nephews. I’m still undecided if I’ll try to have kids, but I can be happy being an aunt and cat mom.

[@silloweet]

Pets are companions. Children are children

[@lurkzie]

@@silloweet you don't say

[@nextlevelrelaxed615]

That's so sad hahaha poor you

[@songsthatarecatchy]

@@silloweetcaring for animals activates mammalian caregiver instinct same as children do actually. This has been proven by studies.

[@unnienoona9888]

Dr. Glass was my professor my freshman year for a class called "Balancing Work and Family" (an elective type class). She was a great instructor and the information taught in the class transformed my thought process of approaching the question "Do I want kids?" So glad she was asked to be in the video!

[@seb6226]

Does dr glass have kids?

[@unnienoona9888]

@@seb6226 I want to say yes, but I can’t say for sure. But in the video, I’m pretty sure she said she does.

[@ragebait988]

@@unnienoona9888 I bet she doesn’t..

[@pandawillishelthostage2985]

@@ragebait988 she does

[@jungookookie413]

My mom went through 2 heart surgeries and a c-section to gave birth to me, she was supervised by 4+ specialists. She dropped her job as a successful realtor and established a daycare for me so I (under her care) could socialize with other kids. It was a lot of work, and I’m not the brightest kid but she said I made her life happier.

[@paulelago9453]

That's awesome to hear.

[@jungookookie413]

@@paulelago9453 thank you, she is an awesome person.

[@dontbother2071]

Your mother sure is a fighter. Send my love and regards to her.

[@atirahyasim981]

Your mom must be a strong person. Glad to hear your story!

[@jungookookie413]

@@dontbother2071 she is, thank you for you kind words

[@kunk8789]

It's *apparent* that not everyone wants to be *a parent*

[@ethankoh6851]

You've gotta be kidding

[@sanskaarkulkarni1036]

These puns. Gosh.

[@NinaCuervo]

41 year old here. Since I was five I told my parents that I didn’t want to have kids. They didn’t believe me because I was a child. But I kept saying the same thing year after year. 36 years later: no kids. Never even thought about freezing my eggs or anything like that. A lot of my friends have. In my case I was so sure about not becoming a parent, that I never even gave it a thought. I think being a parent most be a beautiful thing if that’s what you truly want. The love. The responsibilities, the worries, the wisdom. As long a it’s something you really want and you see yourself as... if not... then choose what you want. I chose just that. I love that we can choose now. And I’m so thankful for that.

[@yumiko0017]

Honestly, no. I keep getting preached to about “We need a legacy”…”There’s no one else to leave our stuff too”….just brings me into deep depression.

[@Ammut6]

Pretty selfish on their part. My ladys mother is still harassing us for a second grand child 🙄

[@therealbs2000]

@@Ammut6 what legacy? you will have no legacy. why are they even bringing it up?

[@cuevasmarcos23]

@@therealbs2000 thats them expressing their ego.

[@-.00__I__o8o__I__00.]

Honey- my Korean in-laws told me the same thing. Promising that they would support our child as well… Private schools, wardrobe, college tuition. I had a child based on that assurance… Guess what? They didn’t keep their promises❗️

[@therealbs2000]

@@-.00__I__o8o__I__00. koreans...what are you gonna do

[@moodsofkiwi9285]

I’m pregnant with my first, and extremely grateful and happy for the ability to have a child! I love this baby so much already, and I haven’t even met him yet. There are so many cultural messages for childless people on how children are strictly a joy or strictly a burden...it makes the decision so stressful for ppl. The best thing you can do for yourself is investigate yourself: your motivations for wanting/not wanting, your goals, your desired future, your beliefs about life, your weaknesses and fears of failure of parenthood or lack thereof. Even if you think you are so self-aware you don’t need to question yourself, you absolutely do. There are many ppl out there -like I was- that feel one way for a long time (I didn’t want children for a long time), that with enough self-investigation will be able to deal with issues in themselves and realize what they really feel called to do once they get out of their own way. This also applies for ppl who want children.

[@patrickkirby6580]

That’s a long comment I won’t read it

[@truecrimerip7936]

Im 29 and boy when I say that I dont want kids people get legit mad at me.

[@joshwarrey3728]

Yup, as if it's only about money. 😅

[@thesmellycatjazz]

I ruined Christmas 2 years ago when I mentioned I planned to get a vasectomy. Dad got angry. Mom started tearing up.

[@jonnoMoto]

Some people get offended if you don't share the same values as them.

[@flowerhobi1673]

I'm 22, I've been saying i dont like kids and would never have my own since i was 15 and all the adults around me would say oh well you'll change your mind when you're older I guess they're worried now because I'm even more convinced than b4 I'm never having kids

[@slovenec2086]

Because youre stopping your bloodline and you probably live with your parents

[@gracewsho]

I’d never want kids. I simply don’t like them. I can briefly fool myself into thinking there are some upsides, and then I spend 5 minutes with one and I’m itching for some sort of procedure. That being said, if I ever were to have children in any form, it would probably be fostering/adoption - for me, parenthood is about giving a child the best life possible.

[@maheshbhatt1505]

Cheers mate not many have the ability to think like a human. Not having kid is a great decision for the environment too. And if you adopt, you just saved a life.

[@insectbite1714]

@@maheshbhatt1505 true.

[@samster4955]

Same here for me!

[@maheshbhatt1505]

@@samster4955 then we're friends I guess

[@patricksaxon3983]

I am the same way, as I don't like children. But when my nephews older, I started to love them even more.

[@2012Zyle]

I wish I would've seen data on happiness across age groups between parents and non-parents. I think how happy you are later on in life is more important, since people with newborn kids are going to feel very different compared to those who have finished raising children.

[@materializze]

I did read a study that a couple’s happiness goes up right after the child moves out.

[@kripton7120]

Is there anything such a finishing it? You never finish. Being a parent means you always have people to wory about. You wory about their wedding, you worry about your grandchilds health etc. Never have a peace of mind.

[@sanam3665]

Exactly

[@jensmith4411]

@@materializze No it doesn't. Sounds like that study was flawed. Its really just common sense. Because you're Losing your child. Then, eventually it will go back up because you start to accept it. Once that happens you might take more romantic vacations maybe and have time for more hobbies.

[@barringtonmorris90]

Ding ding 🛎

[@insectbite1714]

As a kid who destroys everything I can confirm it is a bad idea to have kids.

[@connorhaley9177]

As long as your parents are understanding or can afford what you break, it’s still an okay idea in your case lol.

[@sudheerkumar4421]

without kids the humankind will be destroyed in a generation..

[@insectbite1714]

@@sudheerkumar4421 no, We need some countries to have a decreasing population so the overall world population is balenced due to how many countries have increasing population. Currently the world population is increasing to fast

[@mukrizhsmukmuk9252]

@@sudheerkumar4421 we dont have to continue it tho

[@minalbachhav422]

@Laura Kay definitely. We are the thinking parts of the universe.

[@ericpl114]

I don't want kids and haven't since I was about 17-18. People always thought there was something wrong with me for thinking that. And more importantly, they always thought whoever I was in a serious relationship with would change their mind and as a woman would always want children. It was almost always another woman suggesting this, men seem to understand and support the decision more.

[@Angel-ms7sf]

Same.

[@antzzekebab0846]

There is something wrong with you

[@ericpl114]

@@antzzekebab0846 maybe, but not because I don't want children. :) It's my choice

[@Rhaifha]

Saaaame. My sisters both tend to talk about how "their ovaries start rattling as soon as they see a baby".. Which only sounds mildly less weird in the original language. But yeah, both of clearly did and do have that urge to have kids. I just never experienced that feeling. At all. Am 30 now, highly doubt it'll start now.

[@Angel-ms7sf]

@@Rhaifha i’m 30 too. Still can’t imagine getting pregnant yikes. Especially giving birth. f that! lol

[@jellybeansi]

I've known since I was very young that I didn't want children. Now I'm 29, and I never once changed my mind. However, I still get people telling me "someday you'll meet the right person". Not only is this *far* from the only factor that influenced my decision to not have children (I've contemplated everything, from my own disabilities, to finances, to job situation, to my asexual orientation, to my comfort around children in general), but it's just so reductive and infantilizing. Children fill a void in many peoples' lives and that's fair. They feel more complete with children. But children will not fill a void in my life because, simply put, there's no void there in the first place.

[@ewoksalot]

Anyone that's mad someone else doesn't want kids is likely subconsciously worried they made a mistake by having them themselves. It's definitely NOT for everyone, but my heart truly aches for the people who want to be a parent, but cannot have children.

[@MauroRincon]

I think this video touched very briefly on the concept of "fulfillment". This has been studied and no, it's not the same as happiness. A person may be perfectly content with his/her life and not be fulfilled, in the sense of feeling a transcendental experience of purpose. I think that's what my kid brings to me and to many people. No less stress, no fewer worries, no less uncertainty. But an incredible sense of purpose, of reasons to be better, to have more empathy, to do the right thing. I'm not saying that you need to be a parent to feel that, or that every parent feels it. But I think it's a great component of the parenthood experience of many people.

[@MarkArandjus]

For so many reasons I firmly believe that only people who want kids should have kids. Stop pressuring people.

[@clairewillow6475]

Who is pressuring you?

[@MarkArandjus]

@@clairewillow6475 Familly, and especially in small towns the community.

[@murdermostdownunder3562]

I’m a 27 year old woman, I have never felt an overtly strong desire to have a child. But I’m slowly starting to consider it. Mentally, I’m just starting to mature enough to where I would be able to emotionally support my child. That’s really important as I grew up with a mother who struggled mentally and it really impacted me. Financially, my partner and I would manage but we’d potentially miss out on holidays, new technologies, new cars, and an additional investment property. I also just got into law school and started a career in my chosen field. We’ve already discussed that my partner would be the caregiver as he is getting older and his job as a miner is taking a physical toll. So I’m not concerned about my career taking a hit. Physically, I’m terrified of carrying a child and birth, I don’t know why. I always get teary and nauseous when I see babies kicking in the stomach. I also don’t want to have a child until I’m married, the COVID pandemic has stopped us from going back to my home town for my partner to ask my fathers permission (old fashioned). Anyway, it all comes down to personal preference and I’m leaving it to fate. If all else fails, I’ll foster.

[@m4tta]

honestly if you’re not 100% sure that you would have enough money for everything you want do not have a child, just trust me on this one. also, consider saving up and adopting

[@AC-mp7cx]

Yes, women nowadays start to have this realization when they're coming out of their peak.

[@FunnyLittleFrog]

@@AC-mp7cx oh shut it, Ioser

[@Timiebiii]

I'm 22 and I feel exactly the same way except I've helped raised my siblings and lacked a social life so I see kids as work

[@deistormmods]

@@FunnyLittleFrog He's not wrong though

[@michellestella7477]

Having kids isn't something to be ticked off your checklist to achieve a happy life. Being a parent is a calling. And it's not mine.

[@amdl270]

We need to have societal changes that allow people more personal freedoms without judgement. Whether it’s someone being a stay-at-home mom or someone without children wanting the same workday flexibility as their peers who take off early to see their children’s play. Let’s give each other more respect and fair treatment.

[@patrickkirby6580]

Don’t publicly share private things about yourself and you won’t have judgement.

[@antionettewardell2151]

I decided not to have children when I was pretty young. It wasn't an easy choice. I grew up in a traditional Catholic upbringing. I felt that my parents as much as I loved them, couldn't control their anger well enough and I was afraid that I would end up getting angry with my kids. I felt that if I couldn't control my own anger issues then I didn't want to pass that behavior down to another generation of angry people. I am glad I made the right choice. As it turned out I was diagnosed with Bipoler1 at the age of 58 and the episodes of anger was part of that brain disorder. If I had the proper care and treatment at at early age, I may have been able to control the outbursts. I feel this country has too many angry people. I feel that parenting is the hardest job of them all. I feel there should be classes in school how to raise healthy and well functioning children. It's a tough choice.

[@joanvallve7647]

I think the real problem is weak people like you, not angry people.

[@antionettewardell2151]

@@priisawallflower There is help out there. I don't know how young you are, but if you have access to mental health please find it. It can save your life. If you live at home and this is going on, please find a safe place. This is not normal behavior. We can change it just takes a lot of work with the right help.

[@LKelz]

I am a 26 year old woman and I chooses to never have kids . I worked minimum wage jobs my whole life , after tax you basically earn nothing. I was never able to achieve my dreams and feels miserable. I am broke , grew up poor and I will never want my kids to experience the same thing . I would rather choose to never bring them to this world then having them experience the same financial trauma that i did

[@LKelz]

@Bartholomew Roberts i wouldnt want to marry someone just for social ladder though . I would have to love this person and see myself being happy with this person everyday to get married

[@ordinaryguy815]

read some Eckhart Tolle

[@slylover123]

Same. I don't see myself ever being rich, and I don't want to put a kid through that

[@marlonmoncrieffe0728]

If you are married, educated, and have a stable home life, you can make having a child work.

[@guangxiwu]

Does the survey include elderly people? Do kids make them happier or less happy when they are 70, 80, 90 years old and the kids are well into adulthood? I'm curious about the long term effect of having kids on happiness.

[@Ammut6]

My grandmother raised me from ages 3 to 23 when she passed. I still ask myself if she was happy doing so or not.

[@RutujaDicholkar]

Curious about this as well!

[@carsanstuff8132]

Lol at this point the kids will be into adulthood while the parents are 30-40

[@Silverraine1]

Good question! I have noticed in my neighbourhood elderly people appear happiest when spending time with little kids (who they are not responsible for).

[@modernkennnern]

I don't want kids - doubt I ever will, but I'd love it if, when I got older, I would have grandchildren. Fundamentally impossible, but 🤷‍♂️

[@nellaraf1619]

putting the heavy expectation of making oneself happy on a being that hasn't been created is something I do not understand

[@fbrtnrsthf]

This could have easily devolved into exhibitionism, but it was actually, sensitively done, very insightful and very moving. Well done, Cleo and Voz team!

[@CTEagleCeltic]

Just had my first at 35… been with my wife for 15 years… made sure we lived our young lives first.

[@bleepblop]

I appreciate that this is your decision, but for anyone who see this there's something to say for the child who now has "older" than average parents. My parents were a few years older than 35 when they had me and a few years more when they had my brother. Due to this, it can be a little painful to think that unlike my father, who had his father untill he was in his late 40s/early 50s, I will be lucky to have him or my mom into my mid to late thirties, and the problem is exacerbated for my younger brother. Again, of course you can choose when to have your kids, if you want them, but I thought I'd share another perspective

[@CTEagleCeltic]

@@bleepblop I hear you, also my parents were teen parents, sooooo, the other side of the coin isn’t all pleasant. I appreciate your insight tho.

[@gracie5151]

My parents did the same and I admire them a LOT for that. 20s and early thirties seem like the time when you should explore and learn. I respect your decision so much! Congratulations on your baby 🎉😊🎈

[@ythelldoineedahandle]

@@bleepblop how long do ppl live where you are from? You said your parents were a few years older than 35. Depending on where you live, ppl nowadays stay healthy and live well into their eighties. I was born when my mother was 34 and my parents had much more patience than the average ppl in their 20s and they already had their spacious house in a good neighbourhood. I never suffered the lack of anything. I can not stress it enough how grateful I am to my parents that they had the good sense that they had children when they were already grown up and established. Not that I do not understand your fears and point of view. Also you have your brother to support each other at least.

[@bleepblop]

@@ythelldoineedahandle we live in a place where that should be the case(ish, really depends on the lifestyle u choose/have here and if u can pay for healthcare), but my father's lifestyle does not lend to a long life. I don't think my parents exactly had everything figured out when they had me, so it seems like I lost a lot of the "benefits" (for lack of a better term) of having parents who chose to wait. I'm very happy for u tho, and I'm glad most people see this as a good thing. I think it is a good thing if it's done right too

[@portialujabe3121]

To solve the AGE argument (babies between 25 - 35), consider adoption. If it is truly just a bundle of joy that will make you happy, any bundle of joy should be welcome.

[@niccolom4556]

Oh no its not the same. You can see your ancestors reincarnated in your children and your partner and your features and personality manifest in your own children. Very different

[@portialujabe3121]

@@niccolom4556 But are we saying the sole purpose for choosing to have kids in our day and age is to .... visually recreate ourselves? A bit vain. If you ask me. But to each their own. People are entitled to their own reasons for having a child I suppose. Also, what happens when your own genetic child DOESN'T exhibit features which you can immediately identify. Is that kid inherently less worthy of having.

[@zuzanazuscinova5209]

@@niccolom4556 That depends if you want to reincarnate your ancestors or see your own features be passed on. Why are you assuming everybody wants that?

[@philipjdry1234]

I love other people's kids, what I mean is kids are awesome wonderful people, but it's not for me, don't have the time, energy, money and it's not for me. I can always volunteer.

[@BLACKzeronine]

I love my kid and I've always known I wanted to have kids for a few reasons. but I hope that the attitude that everyone needs to have kids goes away, because nothing in the world is worse than a bad parent.

[@insectbite1714]

Having kids is a waste of resources it makes parents guilty and embarrassed and it damages the enviorment

[@nokiahmotorz01]

I'm childless by choice and will continue to be but just wanted to comment on how much I love the visualisation exercises in this episode!

[@AC-mp7cx]

Probably will regret it

[@milliem8051]

@@AC-mp7cx better to regret not having kids than to regret having kids

[@AC-mp7cx]

@@milliem8051yeah thats definitely flipped

[@r_r_r_r]

@@AC-mp7cx I see you all over these comments spouting off against childfree people. Seems like this touched a sore spot, eh?

[@AC-mp7cx]

@@r_r_r_r yeah kinda disgusted by people who have no morals and no desire to complete a basic biological purpose

[@tatianabeastmode6573]

How did it go? "A married man who begs his friend, a bachelor, to wed and end his lonesome sorry state, Is like a bather in the sea, Goose pimpled, blue from neck to knee Who cries 'the water's great!' " Same is true for parents vs. childless people, I think. =) I once asked my mom (of 4 kids) if she really knew what it would be like, if she would have chosen to have kids, and she replied after a long pause for thought "no". That made a huge impression on me.

[@thisisfitz731]

I'd honestly rather have a dog. I grew up with alot of kids in the house from a young age until I moved out. I first hand know, how stressful having kids is, financially and just the huge amount of time and dedication it takes to raise a kid. I just don't have the urge to have kids.

[@dylanryan3432]

Considering you can't spell 'a lot' correctly, you shouldn't have children.

[@itgamingke]

I mean If you're financially stable and know how to plan between work time and family time then a child is not problem at all

[@harv609]

@@dylanryan3432 get a life

[@grmpEqweer]

@@itgamingke If you're in the USA, close to half the people probably aren't "financially stable."

[@sampuspitakumarajiva8930]

yea you have a low-paying job. Not desirable to hypergamous women.

[@AndreMonthy]

"The assumption that kids make you happier." What about the modern assumption that happiness is the ultimate goal, usually expressed via selfish notions of consumerism and hedonism. How about being stoic and finding meaning and eudaimonia in duty and responsibility.

[@georgiallmd]

This comment needs more likes

[@BrettWrightsPage]

Taking responsibility away and avoiding it is comforting to my ego. Deliberate addition of responsibility, especially when oriented around others’ well-being, feeds my soul.

[@mewhotkoko]

Imagine literally not wanting to be happy

[@amadbiscuit]

Based

[@cruzgomes5660]

@@mewhotkoko imagine being selfish enough to value your happiness over that of all others. It is those like you who lack compassion that we shall are greatly suffer

[@snowstrobe]

The national economics plays such a big part. Those countries that had happier parents all have brilliant support for young families. Unfettered capitalism once more being the problem. I saw a fascinating report that followed up on women who had been teen mums. They all said they were given a lot of grief at the time, being told they had thrown their lives away, but many of them said that they were, in the end, happy they did it that way. They said they got their kids out of the way early, and when they had energy, and then picked up their careers in their 30s.

[@moksh7302]

The only reason I feel like not having kids is the fear whether I'm the right person or role model my children should have. I don't want to emotionally hurt them like i did to myself.

[@captainnutsack8151]

When you're childless and 80 years old, on a death bed, with nobody around in the room, you'll wish real quick you had had children and left some kind of legacy.

[@alexxx4434]

When you get kids you basically stop having personal life until they become fledged and fly away from the nest. And in current spiraling down global economy they're gonna stay in the nest for a loooong time.

[@nagitoyup6929]

Smart people have less kids. Whereas others have more kids.

[@one2three4five6]

Yup that's why it's weird. Kids need smart parents to teach and guide them whereas uneducated and poor have many children. I think kids from a smart and we'll educated parent will make a better citizen but nature is supreme here. Nature gives the instinct to have more kids to poor parents.

[@sph_dng]

Also, having kids doesn't just mean biologicaly only you know, lots of orphans out there as well

[@insectbite1714]

Yes. Adopting blocks overpopulation so it is good

[@marlonmoncrieffe0728]

Actually, there are not as many as you think-at least not in the West.

[@vipulsingh569]

pets are the new kids. Plants are the new pets.

[@alejandrozapata6286]

Kids are the new plants.

[@akshitthakur6833]

🙂

[@IntensePeppers]

"Dog mom to one, she is my world." - Every tinder profile ever

[@sampuspitakumarajiva8930]

yea you have a low-paying job. Not desirable to hypergamous women.

[@32fps]

But actually; I won't even get a cat because I stress about paying for food and vet bills, and I don't have a conducive lifestyle for a dog even beyond vet bills and feeding. So plants it is 😅

[@DeeL3]

I'm a teacher and honestly, that's my number one form of birth control.

[@gc1097]

LOOOOLL

[@tylerdusseau842]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@amrmohamed1387]

I laughed so hard😂😂😂💔

[@amrmohamed1387]

still laughing to be honest 😂😂😂😂💔

[@zinnsoldat6493]

What is birth control?

[@klo5126]

I have known since I was 14 that I don’t want kids. Now I’m in my mid30s and happily childfree. ☺️ I’m grateful I found a partner who shares the similar views as me.

[@ksato7343]

I have known the same since I was around 14 as well. I'm 50 now. I'm glad and grateful that I didn't have children.

[@BennyHarassi]

@@ksato7343 if you both were happy in your decisions you wouldnt be here looking at "do i want kids" videos...

[@Nessmess001]

@@BennyHarassi you can be curious about other people's views on a topic even if you're happy with your decision though, i don't see how they're mutually exclusive.

[@rogerm4a1]

@@BennyHarassi not true I follow VOX and it works both ways.

[@lilith7706]

@@BennyHarassi Seriously? *facepalm*

[@l_7376]

I love my kids to death but as someone who has kids, I can completely understand why someone would never want to have them. It's not a decision to take lightly.

[@ChrisPollitt]

Most people don't see it as a decision at all.

[@katehipkins2838]

As a 31 year old woman deciding not to have children I really appreciate this comment. Thank you 🙏

[@mosijahi3096]

@@katehipkins2838 just be happy with with your decision. It’s a very serious life changing decision ,most don’t even consider. What most people want discuss is it has an effect on your relationship and that will have another layer to your life you didn’t see coming. I think people in general don’t want to admit it’s not as easy or joyful as people say it is. For some people haven’t kids can contribute to a host of mental and physical problems. And when you get older there’s no promise your kids will have time or even care to be around you. I have daughters children I love dearly . But it’s not a cake walk, and I tell to think before you have children.

[@the.annethology]

Yes! Some people want kids because of the lovey-dovey cuteness overload phase of kids.. not realizing these babies will grow up and be adults.

[@KimandKamJam]

100% agree. I love my child but the emotional, physical, mental, and financial toll it takes is a lot (especially a special needs child). I find the people who say "it doesn't change your lifestyle that much" are either liars or too privileged to see the amount of sacrifice it takes to raise a child if you don't have access to certain resources

[@jakehix8132]

Writers: "We're going to rock climb to illustrate rising in a graph." Vox: "Couldn't we just make you a graphic?" Writers: "Did we stutter?"

[@TheSergio1021]

"Be sure to add the rock climbing to the tax writeoffs" "What for?" "We'll find a reason"

[@superbherb7947]

Seriously, that added *nothing* whatsoever.

[@brandonfelix5616]

@@TheSergio1021 Lllloppp

[@beegchungus3721]

We also need like 200 dollars in quarters for something else as well

[@jessjess7749]

And now, you'll probably remember it much longer since you eve wrote a comment about it. As far as I'm concerned, that was an effective way to get the message across

[@briang6652]

Other than money for living essentials, baby care, insurance, home, etc, the most stressful factor for working parents is giving time and energy. Ensuring kid to be healthy, well behaving and prepared for society is big challenge.

[@AB-cz4ei]

That is a responsible and the right way to think, you don’t bring children to this world just because . They all deserve a good quality of life .

[@grogu411]

LI agree. If I were to have kids it would have to be planned out. I would have to make sure I have a good home in a good area first. I wouldn’t want my kids growing up poor in a bad neighborhood. I don’t wanna have a Surprise kid. I’m responsible. I don’t sleep around and I use protection. With that said I don’t ever want kids. I’m 26 now. When I was 20 I wasn’t as smart and didn’t always use protection and my ex girlfriend got pregnant. Sadly she had a miscarrage. But I was scared cause I wasn’t ready to have a kid. I wouldn’t have aborted it tho.

[@AB-cz4ei]

@@grogu411 I am sure you will be happy to receive your babies when you find the right person , a lady with who you can build a lovely and stable home for your children . Be wise and you will be blessed .

[@MagicToadSlime]

@@AB-cz4ei or not? Not everybody needs to or even should have children. This isn't the 1950's Karen

[@MagicToadSlime]

@@AB-cz4ei He's currently blessed with not having kids thanks to protection.

[@financialcoachnyc]

Yes. Marriage is hard. Having children is hard. Eating healthy is hard. Exercise is hard. Education is hard. Notice a trend? 🎤 drop

[@hoho7029]

You say it like its a mic drop moment, but its more sad- if you will look up at productivity rates vs wages, housing, lenders, food prices, expenses of nurseries and how people are treated- it all is going down. Yes its a trend. Thats why people decide not to have kids. In this economy and how world is progressing you dont want to have a kid and give them subpar, stuggling "hard" life. Whats the point. Its getting harder and harder. If im having hard time with rent, expenses and how to survive on my own im not going to think about bringing another life to the world. Yeah its hard, and getting harder with not much positive outlook. So people dont do it.

[@youtubesucks3882]

@@hoho7029 Solve the systematic issues that makes having a family almost an impossible goal? ❌ Gaslight women into thinking that having children and a family is a patriarchal conspiracy meant to exploit women? ✅

[@NeedForMadnessSVK]

Living a life in a wheelchair is hard. So I will expect you will chop off your legs? It will build so much character bro.

[@nightshocker6908]

just say..... Life is HARD!

[@financialcoachnyc]

These people made their parents miserable lol

[@gulnaazafzal5485]

As a 27-year old, this video made me sad. There is so much pressure on me to optimize career goal, marriage to the right person, and bear a human being all at a single time.

[@_helmi]

You matter the most, you can choose for yourself, don’t let others choose for you. It’s not like they are going to bear the consequences of their choices for you.

[@Reyeston007]

Clock is ticking!

[@Reyeston007]

Jk. You still have lots of time (as long as you're a guy)

[@therealspeedwagon1451]

It’s alright. You still have your 30s ahead of you. And you don’t even have to marry someone if you don’t feel like it. You matter and you are doing the best you can and that’s all that matters

[@vegetableautopsy3551]

That's sad

[@jackieandthesheetmetals]

This should be titled “are you fit to be a parent” because not everyone should be a parent. Doesn’t matter if you’re ready or not it’s just that some people are more for to be parents than others

[@aineiasbabulis1512]

Very well said

[@KatelynDawn]

Someone may also be “fit” to be a parent with a Happy and healthy relationship, great job, great house, supportive family, but they simply do not want to be a parent. Which is a totally valid choice to make.

[@shantavetyan4053]

And who r you to decide whether someone else should be a parent?

[@mandyn5206]

The decision to be a parent can be life changing. It changes your perspective. Parenthood can teach you to be a even better person , if you're open to changing that is.

[@jackieandthesheetmetals]

@@shantavetyan4053 if you’re not mentally there, you’re an abuser etc you should NOT be having children. Every child deserves a parent but not everyone needs a child. If a garbage parent you’re kid’s should be taken away from you

[@goldbristow7239]

If a society wants more parents, they should be willing to be a society that loves and cherishes children. Through affordable daycare, better wages, better work hours, universal healthcare, affordable QUALITY education, these are the things that allow people to love and enjoy their families and children. Otherwise, it's just suffering and making a decision between raising your children and making money to keep them fed. And nobody should have to make that choice.

[@JJ-pf7qo]

Yes can't say enough about daycare. It's ridiculously expensive.

[@butasimpleidiotwizard]

Also longer paid parental leave, which is subsidised by the government so businesses can afford to hire a temporary replacement without losing money if they have to, I think parents should be able to have at least a year of paid parental leave if they choose to take it, there's so much evidence that it improves the health and well-being of both parents and baby and has better developmental outcomes for the baby too, it's so important

[@JJ-pf7qo]

@benjamin ollis probably tax. If we keep going this way than birth rate is going to drop for sure. If we wanna sustain birth rate then gotta give more credit for child care or incentive / deregulation for opening new child cares. There isn't enough competition out there reducing child care cost.

[@itsgonnabeokai]

Not only what you said, but our cities should be rebuilt to be kids friendly. Restaurants, museums, public restrooms, sidewalks, changing rooms, elevators, waiting rooms and more and more and more

[@mellie4174]

Yes! Say it louder!

[@Kriistall7]

I will always be impressed by people who know that they don't want to be parents and don't let society or family manipulate or guilt them into thinking differently.

[@liliansalvador5308]

Isnt it normal thinking? Most people live difficult life themselves, having kid only makes everything worse

[@iluomobravo]

What society? 1950’s society? If anything , THIS society TODAY is confirming their selfish, lack of family values. And what’s exactly wrong with old school values of marriage and family? What is it that you don’t like about a society where people feel a pressure to get married and have children? The reverse certainly hasn’t produced good results.

[@Oceanlinx]

@@iluomobravo Not having a kid isn't selfish. Selfish would be to have a kid because you think it can fix your marriage or because you feel lonely. Children should be born into a family that wants them and will truly love them. We have enough abusive parents as is.

[@Sjorsje]

@@iluomobravo Most parents I know had kids because of selfish reasons and most non-parents I know don't have kids because of non-selfish reasons (i.g. saving the climate or saving the potential kid from a bad youth).

[@tki6087]

Thank you, I really appreciate that. :)

[@soccerguy325]

Why is adoption such a limited part of this conversation? If you can't get pregnant there are hundreds of thousands of babies and children just waiting to find a new home. It doesn't have to be your genetic child in order to love it.

[@callies8907]

There aren't actually that many children in need of new homes. Many global orphans have a living parent and community that want to take care of them. Adoption agencies, both domestic and international, are full of what is effectively human trafficking.

[@onexonesie]

@@callies8907 your last sentence contradicts your first.

[@soccerguy325]

@@callies8907 LOL wow. Never have I seen such a wild attempt to find an ethical reason to avoid adopting. But "adoption is a myth because they're all just being trafficked" is a winner for sure.

[@crazy4beatles]

It should be part of the conversation more. Especially because it’s prohibitively expensive - more expensive than even getting pregnant through medical means.

[@soccerguy325]

@@-.00__I__o8o__I__00. Well, that's pretty much the same with biological children. Biological children can turn out totally different from you and your partner, and obviously there are countless examples of self-destructive behavior. Personally, I know a couple who adopted a baby they found abandoned on the side of the road while the mother was pregnant with her third (and final) child. Obviously you can't have more of an unknown than that. But she in particular grew really close to the adopted child, even more so than her biological children. I know it's anecdotal but point is it's entirely possible to love an adopted child, despite the "unknowns," as much or even more so than your own biological children.

[@Chow18ggrace]

The closing had me in tears. I never really wanted kids because I seen how my mother struggled, she lost her career, her health and her marriage and I felt like it’s my fault. She got diagnosed with breast cancer, but delayed her treatment because 20 years back we were way too young to grow up without a mother. This cause her cancer to spread, and her living in pain until one day she decided we are old enough and went for treatment. It was way too late we lost her two years after the chemotherapy. I admired her strength but I don’t think I want that responsibility for myself

[@TheBashar327]

Another example of the damage normalizing and even venerating single motherhood has done to people and society.

[@gravity3.8]

God bless her heart

[@Benoit-Pierre]

Please, put that in the context of USA where you have to choose between buying meds and paying the rent and food. Otherwise in most other countries this testimony does not make any sense.

[@RayianneGabrielMaravilla]

I see no problem with people who do not want to have kids, the only problem is those people who cannot accept others’ decision not to have kids. Periodt.

[@SachiraBhanu]

True words. People like to judge other. That's what happen when you live in judgmental base world. Every move count.

[@alexisf22]

Exactly I’m not having children just because of societal pressure

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

@@alexisf22 yeah its really none of anyone's business your body, your money LOL

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

@@SachiraBhanu true lol . i get it ALL the Time from my so called ''friends'' When are you going to have one . it will change your life . blah..blah blah.. My response: That is what i'm afraid of.... i like MY Life, My Freedom, Time, Home lol etc...

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

So True i don't understand why people get mad about such a personal choice... you want kids Great Happy for you . i don't and it should be the same reaction lol

[@user-st6ui7oy1p]

The irony that I had to turn up the volume while watching this because my neighbour's kid is having a complete meltdown on the other side of the wall, is not lost on me.

[@romanuslureaus2176]

Kids being kids, how dare they.

[@James-rc6qq]

we were all once annoying young kids once. kids are allowed to have meltdowns. its all part of being a kid.

[@user-st6ui7oy1p]

@@romanuslureaus2176 Hence why I don't want one.

[@ramraghavendra7178]

@@user-st6ui7oy1p then dont have one then.

[@Chelsea-dq9og]

@@ramraghavendra7178 thats.... litterally the point but okay😑

[@carmina__]

Cleo touched on another important point when she was on the call with her mom saying how she wanted to give another person the positive experience she received. I personally hesitate to become a parent because my childhood was not a positive experience. Talking to a lot of my friends who also experienced negative/toxic/traumatic childhoods, I think this holds a lot of people back from becoming a parent fearing that the traumas/toxicity continues. The gap from going to only knowing a toxic home life to creating a secure loving home life is a huge jump which requires a lot of self-healing and work on the individual first before they can even begin thinking of bringing another child into the world to avoid repeating the same cycles. So, there's a lot to think about before becoming a parent on top of all the points Cleo made in the video.

[@zuzanazuscinova5209]

Toxic childhood means you're kids will likely have toxic grandparents too.

[@dianamarcekova9615]

@@zuzanazuscinova5209 Not when you break contact with them

[@josicat4789]

And todays world does not allow for any sort of healing from childhood traumas.

[@Honeybee9630]

@@josicat4789 not just today, the world has never allowed any healing from childhood traumas. It remains to be seen how the future world will deal with this

[@danielaalbergaria1547]

I see your point of view, I myself see it more as a "I want to become the mother (and father) I didn't have"

[@NewToTheLyte]

Having kids in the US is all about economics. When the population was booming, one income could support an entire family and buy a home. Now you need two incomes and no kids just to save up to put a down payment on a home. People haven't suddenly decided that kids aren't worth it Make it easier to live and more people will have kids.

[@seanpchristy]

This^ the boomers took it all

[@morb0yo]

@@seanpchristy Boomers love to cry about less people having kids, but never wonder why it is.

[@alexdamaceno]

@@morb0yo People usually don't know how hard things really are for other people. They speak from THEIR experience, even if it was some 40 years ago. They have a hard time to realise how much things have changed since then. And it's not exclusive to the US. I'm from Brazil and couples here both have to work to pay RENT, not buy a house or anything like that. And we still get asked when we're gonna have children, why we didn't have it already, like we live in a magical place where money hangs from trees and days have 96 hours ore more, if you need it to.

[@shidqashifiyna8418]

That's actually make sense

[@ReinierAlansalon]

@@alexdamaceno Then when you're part of the bigger group of people who are stuck in the "can't afford the kids and house lifestyle" it's all "You're lazy and it's all your fault you're not making enough money. Just do better in life."

[@DB-vi7jb]

I think the first real question before "Do I want kids" talk is the "Do I want to be in a relationship" talk first. Because I came to the realization that I would make a great Uncle than a Father.

[@randyg.7940]

Me as well

[@notareallin620]

Oof. You have a point there. I, on the other hand, don't think I'd want to even see my future neices or nephews. They'd be satan's spawn. Literally. For context, her name is Lucy.

[@collan580]

@@notareallin620 I was the same, i hated kids, they are loud and anoying,but when my nephew borned it changed a lot of things. I helped my brother and sister in law all the time and now i kinda like to spend time with this little guy. Also you can experience all the good things about a kid and when they have a problem just give it back to the parents 😂

[@asterismos5451]

I think that's a similar but not necessarily related question, since adoption and artificial insemination are options and becoming increasingly (but still not sufficiently) accepted for single people. These questions are all part of breaking down amatonormativity though!

[@MolinaKojima]

Even when I was a kid I thought to myself “just because you CAN have kids doesn’t mean you SHOULD” I rather adopt but the process is lengthy and expensive

[@ft.jackjimmy7282]

giving birth to a child, depending on which country you're in, is already lengthy and expensive, and yeah your body can be permanently scarred.

[@vkrgfan]

Adoption may sound like it’s expensive I think it’s like around $20k in Canada. Not sure how much it is in States. If you adopt 4 or 7 year child though imagine how much you would have to sacrifice besides your career for birth of a child taking time off for breastfeeding, it’s much more than 20 K by the time the child turns 7. So adoption is an excellent alternative.

[@kathyclark8274]

@@vkrgfan IF you have $ and a husband.

[@joel-uw2lg]

@@kathyclark8274 or a wife Seriously dho if its adopted either parent could take care of it instead of just one

[@AC-nw8cq]

Exactly, yet so many people have them because they think it's expected of them.

[@EdaliaDayCreative]

I’m surprised people expect kids to make them happier. I would expect it to be much more stressful and hard than not having kids but that the positives of kids are about companionship, the satisfaction of impacting another’s life and the bond of family

[@melanchorly7618]

I don't want to say: "I'll never have children", because maybe someday I'll change my mind if I am in a good place in life. However there's a lot to consider and after weighing it all up; I'm confident it's not a good idea. This being said, if you're a parent and you're reading this... please never make your children seem like a burden. As cliché as it sounds, they really didn't ask to be born.

[@namituniyal1124]

I couldn't have written it better.

[@vincentmegens]

But shouldn’t they be thankfull of it?

[@averytan]

@@vincentmegens 😂😂😂

[@therealspeedwagon1451]

Not only that but that can take a number on their mental health. You say that to them you are a horrible parent and your kids are going to grow up suicidal and believing that the world would be a better place without them

[@FriedRice3519]

chose to speak facts today i see

[@Mindova]

I like to fantasize about having kids, but it's not the picture of raising children I linger on.. it's the ability to be financially, geographically, and employment stable which would allow the risk of raising children. Thus, I will likely never have children.

[@xMckingwill]

Yeah i can imagine especially after that last segment.

[@veltren8012]

The last thing anyone wants is their children suffering in a world their parents can't keep up with.

[@Miguel-rr3xg]

Meanwhile illegal immigrants crossing the border with two kids and one on the way with $10K in debt to a narco… 😮

[@TEAMGETHELP]

And that is why the good people of this world are being outbreeded. Get over your fears.

[@Miguel-rr3xg]

Those who can, do. Those who can’t, get cats.

[@Ella_Lee]

저는 아이를 낳지 않기로 결심한 한국의 28세 여성입니다. 그렇게 결정한 이유는 경제적 부담, 자유의 박탈, 신체의 변화 등 여러가지가 있지만 가장 중요한 건 내 자신이 행복하지 않은 가정환경에서 자랐다는 사실입니다. 나는 홀어머니 밑에서 자랐고 늘 경제적으로 부족한 삶을 살았지만 내가 불행한 이유는 엄마에 대한 애증의 마음 때문입니다. 엄마는 우리를 사랑보단 책임감, 책무로 키우셨고 늘 우리때문에 힘들어했으며 상처주는 말도 서스럼없이 했습니다. 엄마가 우릴 사랑하지 않는다는건 아니지만 우리때문에 항상 불행해하고 항상 슬퍼하는 모습을 지켜보며 저는 제가 아이를 낳아도 아이에게 온전한 행복을 줄 수 없을거라고 느꼈습니다. 나 자신이 행복해야 아이도 행복하게 키울 수 있을거라고 생각하는데, 저는 행복해지기 어려운 삶을 살고있고 아이를 낳는다면 행복보다 불행이 훨씬 더 커질것이라는 걸 잘 알고 있습니다.

[@elizabethle3460]

Ever since I was very young, I was always so baffled when adults told me they wanted children. As a child myself I knew exactly what they were like. I'm the eldest of two, and eldest siblings are basically just a second or third parent with no patience. I believe that people should have to take tests before they should be allowed to have children, and from my experience and yours I feel, I think we'd happily fail that test.

[@missmelodyjoy]

As a 30-year-old woman who loves children, it’s hard to feel like my life is complete without a child. Do I want to have kids? Yes, I do, but the question is more complicated than that. I don’t just want kids, I want a FAMILY. A factor that this video touched upon economically but no more than that is the partner you have a child with. I don’t have any yet simply because I have yet to meet someone whom I believe would be a good partner to raise children with. I think you can want to have kids but if you do it with the wrong person, that definitely changes things. And being a single parent is a completely different ball game and topic. It’s no joke. I was raised by a single mom of 4. She was and still is an AMAZING mother but I do not wish to emulate the hardships she had to endure raising us alone.

[@YshaLegacyChannel]

exactly my thoughts

[@KayKayshaw]

YES!!

[@Joshcodes808]

If you find that guy make sure you appreciate him. It’s a hard bargain for men with the responsibility and means to make a family happen to give up their life quality to do that.

[@KayKayshaw]

@@Joshcodes808 giving up life quality like what?

[@pinklipstickx19]

That’s the hardest thing to find in this generation either you find a good man and the love ends and you split and you end up alone raising kids on your own you either take the risk or you don’t to many single moms out there that never thought they would be left alone raising a child on there own.

[@mopster5872]

What if your child ends up having special needs? Or so sick that you need to give up working and bills put you into debt? Sure, these are unlikely scenarios, but so is your idealized, romanticized idea of how having kids will turn out. The decision to have kids shouldn't rest on your idealized outcome (like Cleo here who admits that she's ignoring all this data and anecdotes from her mom that she collected in favor of having an idealized relationship with her future kid). You should choose to have kids on the basis of overcoming the statistics not in the favorable direction but in the unfavorable direction. Are you ACTUALLY willing to have a kid with a debilitating sickness? Who turns out to have opposite political or ideological views as you (thus you probably won't be besties)? Or god forbid, for the A-type parents out there, a kid who is mediocre and isn't Harvard or NFL-bound? If you decide to have kids, it has to be because you want to raise a child who has the best chance to be happy in this world no matter how they turn out to be.

[@olesiakuzmyk2424]

unfortunately, it is not that unlikely as you think. I have the same thoughts and worries all my life. two years ago, my sister gave birth to the child with disabilities. this is my nightmare that happened to her. i wish everyone health. however, i could not help but notice how many "special" kids have been born for the last decade

[@Anna-tg3zh]

I agree with everything that you said. That one of the main reasons that a don’t want a kid because I know that I’m not willing to “gave up of my life” because of a kid, and this is just my opinion and some many people criticizes me a lot! I’m finishing Med school and I know that, normally, it’s already hard to doctors raise their kids properly, and if the kid have specials needs I would have to almost gave up my job to take care of her and, for me, it’s something that it’s even hard to think for me.

[@Anna-tg3zh]

@@olesiakuzmyk2424 I’ve noticed that too. I saw some specialists saying that’s because of the food that we eat (that it’s becoming more and more transgenic), women are getting pregnant older (that’s makes our reproductive cell more susceptible to external damages) and others. And as we know, unfortunately, it’s ALWAYS the woman that have to care/gave up 100% of their life’s to take care of this child and as a woman, I don’t want this for my future, so I think, for me, it’s better not have kids

[@itisdevonly]

I have a child with a rare genetic syndrome. It's way harder than the idealized situation I had imagined (and I had expected it to be hard). I still think it was worth it. But I always knew I wanted kids. Also, I live in a country with socialized medicine and which does a lot to lower the cost of being a parent, so I pay very little extra as a result of my child being disabled.

[@flipnshifty]

I'd throw it away

[@runawaylostmymind]

This is a great conversation to have for kids. I have a 7 year old but I had him young and I realize my personality doesn’t fit with being a parent, although I make it work. The more independent he becomes the happier I become.

[@aannnaavvv]

The most important job you have as a parent is teaching your kids to become independent adults, and it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing.

[@poohsh100]

I have an almost 7 year old and I feel exactly the same as you. Every passing year feels easy and I feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel!

[@rezzbuilds8343]

maybe you're better suited to be a parent than you give yourself credit for. The parents who have codependence issues with their kids always end up dysfunctional

[@noammusk519]

Then why did you have the kid?

[@arijeanz]

@@noammusk519 there are so many things that come into play with that. societal expectations, marriage tensions, lack of education, etc, there are so many reasons for why people have kids before they're ready for them. that doesn't automatically make them a bad parent. also, that's none of your business. your question comes off as agressive

[@CleoAbram]

This was one of the most personally meaningful pieces I've ever worked on. Thank you for watching. I'm so grateful to the people who spoke to me about how they decided whether to have kids -- including my mom. In our conversation, I asked her all the questions I'd wondered about but never asked before. We included a few minutes of that exchange in this piece, but I also edited an extended cut in the hopes that someone might find it helpful in beginning honest and raw conversations with their own loved ones. Here it is in full: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fIebpJJjrZ6Vb68

[@SJ-kg4wp]

Thank you for this episode and series!

[@rjfaber1991]

I have to say, Cleo, the bit at the end with your mother was very touching. I'm not really the emotional type, but it made me think I should probably tell my father how much I appreciate what he did for me as a child (and continues to do). He couldn't have done a much better job if he tried, and I've never really said that to him.

[@ahsanarshad5616]

Pin this!

[@virtualabc7847]

How come I had to scroll for a couple of minutes to see this. You'd think it would be pinned

[@musicwoodthefilm]

Hope you get a chance to watch the film soon To Kid Or Not To Kid, about deciding if you want to have children.

[@yazzmaniac]

In Germany parents get "Kindergeld" at least up until the child turns 18, until 21 if the kid is jobless and until their 25th birthday if they are studying, in an apprenticeship or still in school of some sort and aren't earning enough money to support themselves. So we can focus on our education (which is also waaaay cheaper, public schools and universities are basically free)

[@saranshkaushik8259]

what does Kindergeld mean?

[@MrZigPlay]

@@saranshkaushik8259 child money

[@zafelrede4884]

@@saranshkaushik8259 Merger of Kind (child) and Geld (money)

[@FireEye-zd4fm]

Literally translated: children money

[@Powerland56]

Kindergeld = Childrenmoney = Monthly money for each children from our government 🇩🇪👍🏻😃

[@echuparosa]

I have one kid, one. And I gotta say, no one really told me how absolutely difficult it is to have a kid. If I would have really known how hard it is to raise a kid I might not have done it, tbh. But, since I didn't know, I did it and I am glad I did because my son is a treasure and my whole world and heart.

[@nickb1762]

Make sure not to smother him. Let him be, to an extent

[@mrjamila88]

@@nickb1762 yes I agree. Don’t spoil or smother him too much. I’ve met kids who are an only child and they are both spoiled or smothered or at least the ones I’ve met lol.

[@AndyrewElliott]

Username checks out

[@BananaCakeGirl2023]

@@AndyrewElliott bahahhahaha

[@BananaCakeGirl2023]

Thank you for being so open about it too by leaving this comment. At the same time I feel a lot of parents feel the same way but instead of admitting they don’t necessarily enjoy every single aspect of being the parent, they don’t admit it but instead sugarcoat or gloss over it and encourage other people to have a child and join in as well. I am still undecided, but I want to have an honest discussion about what will be the outcome of my decision with relevant information. I don’t want the only thing I say after a child is born that it’s all happiness because I can’t give them back anyway. I want to know if the sacrifices I made and the changes to my life and my future is truly worth it, not because no parents ever wanted to say that it’s not worth it because it would make them sound terrible.

[@ItsJustLib]

I find it frustrating that people are discussing making fertility treatments more widely available, without thinking about whether or not those couples can even afford to actually have a child, which will absolutely cost them more than fertility treatments.

[@barbizen]

They still have them. Normally poorer people are much more fertile than higher social classes.

[@ThurstanHethorn]

Hence why they are talking about adjusting all costs including child care, education and likely more. It’s a balancing act that I’m glad not to be a chief decider of. These are tough decisions where even monetary cost is just one factor. Are they physically and mentally capable of supporting children? Is ours a society where we even want to impose such barriers? What is life, but to support each other and new life? I do understand where you are coming from though.

[@lydiatheglimmermaid]

Some people definitely would be able to afford raising kids but not the fertility treatments.

[@Starry_Night_Sky7455]

@@barbizen @Barbara Zen Probably because those poorer people had kids in their late teens. Individuals in higher socioeconomic groups wait to have kids until after their undergraduate degree, grad school, and career have settled in. As such, that individual is usually a hair over age 30.

[@barbizen]

@@Starry_Night_Sky7455 is bcause stress and lifestyle

[@letuswrap]

Children aren't for everyone...and that's ok!

[@A-la-Weiss]

👍

[@sampuspitakumarajiva8930]

low-earners not desirable to hypergamous women.

[@sanam3665]

Yup

[@markcutie9959]

Here in the Philippines, having a child/s is like an "Insurance" and "Investment" that will take care of you when you grew old, you send them to school to get a degree, and when they find a job it's time to payback. It's also part of our culture that every child needs to look back and take care of their family. I used to think this is the right thing to do but when I got older I realized this is a toxic positivity and tainted culture. Having a No Child in the Philippines is such an embarrassment and disappointment, and often people will tease you.

[@alfred0621]

God poor countries sure like to breed

[@andreakoeries7230]

i don’t see what’s wrong with that? that’s how it’s been done since forever

[@eva1601]

that sounds like an awful burden to put on your kids shoulders

[@Wavingatthemountains]

I agree! You get shamed a lot if you choose to be childfree. "You're selfish and you're only thinking about yourself. I want to be a grandparent!" Like they would even demand you to make a baby without actually looking at the costs and poverty.

[@jonoghue]

@@andreakoeries7230 you're literally creating a person just to be your servant. That's what's wrong with it.

[@waddupdita]

Sometimes when I think I do want kids, I'd go into youtube and watch videos of screaming kids on the plane and I'm all set

[@muffineck9890]

but that means you wouldn't have a baby to utilize as a way to make your statements known

[@jimjambonks4205]

Yea we’ll look up videos of babies first steps or first words see how conflicted you will be at the end

[@Tigerlily_Fresh]

Walking thru the toy section of amy department store does it for me - no thanks! I'll be in a jail cell for losing my patience in public behind a screaming toddler who's having a meltdown.

so mature to hook your decision up about maternity to videos of yelling babies (which, btw, are products of stress-free upbringing, promoted in modern society) yeah, i guess it's better you do not have kids

[@CrysfelVilla]

Hahahaha great idea 😂😂😂

[@Lucky13_537]

People, especially women, who choose not to have kids, get judged so more than people who choose to have kids. If a woman chooses not to have kids, it's her choice. It doesn't mean she's missing out, it doesn't mean she's a failed woman, and it doesn't mean she's less happy. Stop judging others based on your own experiences, your own values or your own plans. Each to their own.

[@PunsandPixels]

Really? I feel the opposite. I’ve had strangers tell me that me having kids is contributing to the global warming crisis. I get judged for having kids or for “just” being a stay at home mom. And rather the women who choose careers get all the celebration

[@morshed7352]

@@PunsandPixels yeah so do i. ain't sure what she is talking about

[@r.r.r9300]

Personally the women who I've seen get the most hate is stay at home mothers. They get judged so negatively. Although I guess it depends where you live.

[@Lucky13_537]

@@morshed7352all the women I know who chose not to have kids complain at how often they get asked the question, 'when are you gonna have kids?' particularly from the relatives. do you think mothers get asked the question 'why did you have kids?' more often than women without kids get asked when they are gonna have kids? I doubt it. I live in a big city in England, not exactly a super conservative place, but there's definitely an expectation amongst many if not all people that women should have children. Most women I know in their 30s and 40s without kids say they feel judged for it.

[@jocelync.2034]

@@morshed7352 well, there are different groups of people in the world. People who are judgmental about woman wanting kids and people who are judgmental about not wanting kids.

[@casebeth]

Unpopular take: if you're not 💯, don't do it. Every child deserves a 💯 in it parent

[@eveiveneg637]

Not unpopular. If you're not 100% yes, then you're 100% no.

[@tessamarie8698]

I agree but we need to tell that states like Texas

[@casebeth]

@@tessamarie8698 there's no telling them anything 😵‍💫

[@rhiannn3416]

exact why I don't want one. I've never really even liked children that much (horrible to say I know, sorry) and am terrible at interacting with them so I'm not really even sure why I clicked on this. and I don't want kids to have a parent that doesn't want them in the first place because that just leads down a road that's no good for either parties

[@niranjandesai6766]

In that case there won't be any children 😂. It's much better if they teach parenting at a certain age so that abusive parenting will reduce considerably.

[@albertocalleros5981]

Q:how do I decide if I want to have kids? A:(After a thorough investigative report) My feelings.

[@brrrrrrrrit2663]

I hate this answer. Lol

[@iki740]

🤣🤣

[@RcsN505]

I was shocked

[@walkingtalkingdread]

Because your life and all your choices you make, at the end of the day, are because of your feelings and wishes, and not just statistics and data, although that does contribute somewhat.

[@vinceramces]

This is how most KZbin videos are. The yes or no question puts you into a 500 word essay saying that 'it depends' 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@Lanfeartyve]

I think we also need to talk about being emotionally or psychologilcally prepared for and capable of having children. Some people really should ask themselves if they would be good parents and what they will do and how if their children are outside the box. Post partum depression, temper tantrums, teens, illness, relationship issues and more are a thing, and more importantly, so is bad parenting. It's not just about the money or position in life - although I of course agree that this is important not only for the mother, but the child as well. Back to my first thought. There is little preparation, guidance and support for parents with depression or other struggles and it is so very needed. As a teacher, I wish more parents had thought through their choices and more importantly received help along the way - the government should step up more. Not everyone has a family or community or the money to get help.

[@franciscoestrada5995]

Yup, we should promote responsible parenthood.

[@Josy5527167]

As someone who suffers with depression, I am extremely scared how a pregnancy would affect me. I already have massive mood swings when I am PMSing or on BC. I was also abused as a kid, one thing I vividly remember is my abuser playing with me like we were having a baby. So having a baby really scares me bcuz of that. I didn’t want kids until I met my now bf. He really wants kids, so that makes me want kids too. I asked if he’s willing to adopt, if I can’t go through with having a kid, or do a surrogate, he said yes. I sometimes hope I am an infertile to not have through go pregnancy. But I still have a couple of years until I have to make a decision on how I want to have kids.

[@yesteryearr]

Yesss, this is exactly what I was thinking. The video didn't talk about this at all unfortunately.

[@djp1234]

I'll have kids when I have universal healthcare, childcare and can afford a house. So basically never.

[@OMelikaO]

In the U.K. we have the NHS (universal health care) and it still doesn’t make me want kids. They’re too expensive

[@dancechica]

Same

[@lauracackova2852]

so move into another country

[@the.annethology]

Move to a scandanavian country instead cos yes, that will never happen in the US.

[@8is]

@@the.annethology Good luck buying a house in Scandinavia xD.

[@brownysneha9101]

I am 20 from India... Everytime I share my opinion with my friends that I wanna go childfree.. Most of them said your thoughts are gonna change with the time.. But really don't want kids.. 🙁.

[@cynthiam.2567]

Same, except in my case, it’s parents instead of friends. Your personal opinions should be respected.

[@r_r_r_r]

I heard the same thing over many decades, but I’m 40 now and never been happier about my choice (and my partner’s) to be childfree. Wishing you ongoing courage to stay rooted in what you need. ❤️

[@MrToradragon]

Maybe it will happen and you will change your mind or maybe it will not. People are changing over time and even 10 years is enough to be mostly different person.

[@spazzmaticus1542]

You'll change your mind when your ovaries start to dry up.

[@ematty9039]

Whoever says that is not a real friend.

[@frankmercer6484]

I heard Seth Rogen say “I’d rather regret not having kids when I’m 60 than regret having kids when in my 20s or 30s.” I like that.

[@GlassHalfFull10]

Enjoy that Frank!

[@wuzomed]

That only applies to men.

[@giualonso]

@@wuzomed yeah

[@chocolatecharley99]

@@wuzomed How? I'm a woman and I feel that way

[@ismo9529]

@@chocolatecharley99 because Seth Rogan can change his mind when his 40 or 50 a woman can't

[@seanmeantime]

It’s too expensive to have kids these days. Why would you have kids when all you do is work and rarely get to spend time with them. Make life livable again like our grandparents had it.

[@vincelombardi2669]

I have a son who’s 6. This is such a major lie. Kids do not cost much money. Yes having 6 of them would add up. But 1-2 kids you won’t see a dent.

[@hey_marta]

@@vincelombardi2669 kids do not cost much money?? Did you watch the video?

[@materializze]

@@vincelombardi2669 What rock are you living under?

[@vincelombardi2669]

@@materializze I actually live in the real world. I’m a single father my self. I employee over 35 people and this is a non issue. Woman stay home for a reason and it should be that was until 6-10 years old. And I also live in the highest cost state California. My son cost me at best $200 a month. I spent way more in him for sports etc because I choose too. It is and will always be better to have one parent stay home.

[@Iaremoosable]

So you're son costs 200 dollars plus your spouse's entire monthly income 😂 not a dent indeed

[@EquippedwithStrength]

Maybe "less happy" people decide to have children more often. Perhaps BECAUSE of the myth that kids might make you happier. I'd be curious if there's data from the same people before and after they had kids. And that doesn't even get into whether or not "happiness" is really the point of life. Wonder how results would differ if they were asked "how meaningful is your life?"

[@deepshikhasingh5874]

Very relevant points!

[@dinodino5602]

Good point

[@CinnamonCari]

Ive read somewhere that people Who have kids score low on happiness but high on meaning... there was a very viral think piece about it a few years ago. I read it before children and now I have a toddler and I think it tracks. I am not happier than before, but taking being in charge of another life seriously kind of makes you feel a more elevated and selfless perspective (even if caring for your kid is not truly selfless because... well, its yours). They shoud ask the same question to childless people with and without pets, maybe there is something similar there.

[@giuliagiannini15]

This is a really good point.

[@Rose-zh5xg]

Nah

[@trevorram3671]

It's ok to not want children. It's ok to admit that too. Lots of "parents" should've chose that same path as well.....

[@tayzk5929]

It's not ok to not want children ultimately and generally, but it is ok only in rare circumstances.

[@sonofphilip8229]

@@tayzk5929 Hear hear, what kind of society would encourage its own death? It's suicidal to promote the idea that not having kids is a valid choice. Doesn't mean it can't be tolerated but it just cannot be promoted either. The issue is nobody things on the level of society, everyone is a raging individualist. It's like all the cells in you body just decided they were going to do their own thing. Then you start decomposing and asking yourself why?

[@JohnDoe-jf3uh]

No it's not ok, it's weird frankly

[@IncredibleStan]

@@JohnDoe-jf3uh In a country where you are free to do as you please....it is not weird at all..

[@suhgy]

@@sonofphilip8229 there will always be people who want children (and even multiple children). Society isn't going to collapse because some choose to not have kids. Also males don't need to experience the process of giving birth. That's probably why they have a more difficult time understanding why some women don't want children

[@lesliebehringer2372]

I'm interested in finding out the age range of the children. Is there a difference in happiness in families whose kids are 0-4, 5-9, 10-14, 15-19, 20-29, and so on?

[@randymillhouse791]

Yes, with each additional child misery increases exponentially!

[@Kanza535]

Exactly. Of course, a 30-year-old single person is happier than a 30-year-old with kids. I'm more interested in what happens as we turn 40,50, etc.

[@ZolaClyde]

No. I do not want kids, decided when I was 12 and never changed my mind. Despite all the times someone said “oh, give it time.” Never got married either, it’s ridiculous to think “that kids make you happier” as a sweeping statement.

[@pappythehumble1138]

Just curious. How old are you now?

[@edengarden6811]

Same. I was 11. Now 36. Kids? Never.

[@ZolaClyde]

@@pappythehumble1138 53, old enough to know I have no regrets, I’m a very happy aunt of 2 awesome nephews. :)

[@ZolaClyde]

@@edengarden6811 When you know, you know. Why people are so convinced that because they had children and are happy w/their decision means that everyone else must, of course, be of the same mind is beyond me. I’m 53 and never changed my mind and am still very glad I never had kids. (Love my nephews to death though, they’re great.) 🙂

[@deistormmods]

@@ZolaClyde Who will take care of you in your old age? I hope your nephews don't have to choose between you and their parents.

[@jaridkeen123]

Some things that are holding me back from having kids - No Universal Healthcare - No Free College - Daycare is not Free or Subsidized from Government - Work doesn't give men Maternity leave - Work doesnt give new parnets long enough to bond with kids - Work is not Understanding of Kids - Lack of Support - Subsidized ChildCare would be nice or Tax Benefits What about everyone else? Are any of these things i mentioned also preventing you from choosing to have kids?

[@LucaPizzoplus]

So would you change your mind if you lived in a different country? If yes, would you leave your country to have child and live a better life?

[@j.m.mendez6091]

Good comment. Just to clarify, for we (men) it's called "paternity leave" instead of maternity leave.

[@jaridkeen123]

@@LucaPizzoplus Its hard because you cannot just Leave America. Even if i move as an American i still have to pay federal Taxes even if i live in another country full time. Its also hard, Costly, and time consuming to get a Citizenship in another nation. I seriously wish i was born in Europe because i truely believe i would be much happier with the Government helping me in my daily life so much. Less stress knowing the Government is looking out for me

[@IntensePeppers]

@@jaridkeen123 you wouldn't have to pay taxes on the first 100,000 something dollars a year if the income is foreign earned. It's called the Foreign Earned Income Exclusion. But anything more than that Uncle Sam wants his money. The US and I think Somalia are the only 2 countries in the world with citizenship based taxation. Most countries use residency based taxation. The only way to be completely free from it is renounce your citizenship. If that's worth it is up to you

[@KickassTechnology]

Just got a baby in Sweden, so happy I'm not American. I will be on parental leave the whole 2022

[@erikbarrett85]

If you CAN'T find happiness without children, you can't find it WITH THEM. Your sole source of happiness can't be other people and their relationship to you, you won't be able to control that, and having your relationship to joy be in the hands of other ppl is not healthy, and will cause harm.

[@subtlemonk]

What? So people cant find happiness with their own children now?

[@Slacker28]

You don't find happiness by having children you find fulfillment.

[@kboth48484]

No man is an island my friend

[@ayn9298]

@@subtlemonk i think what op is tryna say it that if your sole purpose or reason for having children is finding happiness within yourself, then it might not be the best thing, since there is also no guarantee for it.

[@Jonathanizer]

As a general statement like this, it's simply not true. I know it, because i lived through it. There was a time in my life, where i was generally sad and depressed, but whenever i was with my daughter, i felt happy. Children can give you happiness, purpose and a better outlook on life, even if you feel unwell otherwise/without them. And i am certain i am not the only one who experienced this.

[@beginnerbuglady]

I'm thirty now and with every passing year I want children less and less!! The idea of getting pregnant fills me with horror 😂 I'm absolutely coming into my own life and really happy and enjoying my career and freedom 💞 fair play to anyone who has kids but not for me thank you :)

[@woolypuffin392]

Agree! I realised with 25 that I didn't want kids. The thought of kids filled me with dread, it felt like my life as an independant person would be over for 2 decades and it was like starring into a black hole. When I realised I did not have to, my world got so much lighter and I fully started to live my life to the fullest. Of course I could change my mind later on, but for now I am 100% sure.

[@songsthatarecatchy]

@@woolypuffin392 actually it's over for life look how many still depend on their parents into their 30s or 40s

[@shruthikashyap7499]

💯

[@gailainsley6939]

I thought it was just me..the older I get, the more complacent I'm becoming. I remember a Brazilian friend of mine telling me that in her town, they tried to get the women to give birth by their mid 20s because after that, they are less inclined to want to do so. At the time I didnt understand what she was talking about and now I totally get it. I'm waaay too complacent now and I totally understand where the cats come in because I just want peace!😂

[@jovanleon7]

Just be absolutely sure because this is a decision that you can't reverse in the future. If you really believe that you can have a fulfilled and genuinely happy life in the future where there's no child of yours to accompany or take care of you when you're alone then go right ahead.

[@cheeselover626]

There were a few times "studies have shown" statements made in this video. Could you guys please provide citations for these? The video in itself is more or less a dead-end when I can do further reading on my own.

[@gustavocarvalho1646]

I agree!!!

[@Lalit-yw2tb]

Nope, no citation whatsoever and this was produced by Google who are literally a research company whose job is providing good research papers meaning proper citations🤦‍♂️.

[@Claracinny]

@@vvyenne Yeah the citations are there within the video. A simple google search brought me to the articles themselves. Vox could have made the citations more accessible by providing a list in the description box, but what OC is claiming is untrue.

[@roa3432]

The sources are in the video. It's kinda small but if you pause on the graphics, you'll find them.

[@cheeselover626]

@@Claracinny I thought it would be implied that my gripe is that there are no annotations in the video or links in the description. Having quick, within the video article names is a lot harder to follow up on than front-and-center links.

[@yveje9720]

The stigma for not having kids is way harder on women in spite of the fact that we take on the physical risk and often times most of the work in raising a child

[@etf42]

You also have the final say and authority on whether a child is born or not

[@etf42]

@Laura Kay no it not a problem, it supposed to be that way. more authority = more responsibility. its womens job to raise children. dont blame me i didnt make it this way. it has nothing to do with the casual nature of fathers. stop being disingenuous. that is like saying the casual nature of mothers has caused fathers to build the entire world that we live in from the ground up so that we dont starve or freeze to death. and on top of that the stigma that she is referring to is mainly from other women, not men.

[@etf42]

@Laura Kay *The stigma is from everyone.* but mainly from other women *They just carry the cud and can chose if they want to, that's definitely not authority just autonomy over body* So authority whether a child is born or not. I don't why you are trying to play word games with this fact. If a man gets a women pregnant, the man has no legal or social reproductive rights over that child. If he wants wants to keep the child, and the woman does not, she has full legal authority to terminate the pregnancy. If he does not want to keep the child, and she does, she has full legal authority to make a man a father against his will. *The fathers should be just as responsible* No, not for the rearing of children especially when they are young. A mothers presence is way more important during the formative years. Additionally, women don't want to contribute to a significant portion of the bills and expenses once children are born, so men end up taking more of this load outside of the home. Both of them need to be 'present' but not in the exact same proportions.

[@InTshepyWeTrust]

based on this video we also take on a financial risk. But one thing no one has mentioned is the mental risk of raising a child...

[@etf42]

@@InTshepyWeTrust isn’t this what you want? The right to choose and to bear the risks and consequences of those choices?

[@reginarodriguez-martin4928]

I’m 55 years old and I didn’t want kids. I’m grateful all the time for not being a mother. I say/post this whenever I can for all the people who think women who choose not to have children must regret it later in life. Most of us don’t. (A friend is 7 years older than me and she doesn't regret not having children either.)

[@marlonmoncrieffe0728]

May I ask why not? Are you or were you ever married?

[@reginarodriguez-martin4928]

@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 why don’t I regret not having kids? Because I see how much frustration and sleeplessness and aggravation and exhaustion and expense and disappointment they cause for their parents. Then they grow up and often don’t turn into the kind of people their parents wanted (i certainly didn’t become the person my parents wanted). I understand there are benefits, too, but they don’t look worth it to me. I see a lot of women wondering where their lives went and if there’s still time for them to get what they want out of life. So many sad stories. There are many happy stories, too, but overall parenthood doesn’t appeal to me. Why do people want children? (And yes, I’ve been married.)

[@elainelouve]

I'm 44 and pretty much knew already as a kid that I don't want children. There's just no appeal for me. No specific reason, more like my brain just isn't wired up that way. I've been happily married for almost 20 years with a man who is also childfree by choice.

[@marlonmoncrieffe0728]

@@reginarodriguez-martin4928 No, I would never ask something so obnoxious. I only wanted to know why you never wanted kids-which you answered. I apologize for the confusion.

[@swatisaini6447]

@@reginarodriguez-martin4928 u echoed my sentiments 💯

[@pbg1028]

Never NO. 한국도 나오네. 정부지원금.. 어차피 나는 하나도 못받음. 아기랑도 잘 안맞고. 2세의 필요성 딱히 못느낌. 특히 집안일, 육아 안하는 남자 만나면 평생 내가 노예짓해야되는데ㅋㅋㅋ 뭐하러 그 짓꺼릴? 내 성취가 더 중요.

[@kscott6378]

This episode was very interesting as a 22-year-old young woman who has never been in a relationship I still think about the possibility of having children often and question whether I want that or not. I was very curious about the Happiness Gap data why was there a lack of diversity of Asian, Latin, and African countries that were researched? Overall this gave me a lot to think about.

[@forsetiaxe6784]

The data lumped parents together--single mothers, two parent households, etc. It's not an accurate indicator. Also, all the data does is suggest the more feminist world we live in leads to more unhappiness. American happiness peaked in the 50s, when people overwhelmingly grew up in two parent households.

[@violetriley5692]

@@forsetiaxe6784 well after the 50's is also when the cost of living started to go up drastically and wages stayed the same. So American happiness based of a comparison from the 50's is not a good metric. Also I bet whatever static your talking about when referring to Amerian happiness in the 50's didn't get the happiness levels from POC.

[@forsetiaxe6784]

@@violetriley5692 the cost of living rising while wages barely do is a perpetual issue, hardly confined to the 1950s. One income being able to afford everything was still by and large the norm then. Also, a higher cost of living is hardly the primary indicator of happiness. America was 90% White in the 1950s and that's another reason why it was happier. Stronger cultural ties.

[@gorgeousunicorn6251]

Exactly. I’m Latina, grew up in the states, this seems like a very limited pool. I also think culturally POC cultures think differently about child rearing. I know that in latinx families there’s this idea of we need a village- where your family steps in as co-nurturers. Americans don’t have that in fact most countries that perpetuate individualism (which is important), when they start having families tend to suffer because of these lived idealism. Whereas countries that come from a perspective of the collective - tend to fare better as they have a larger framework, and support system. With that said I don’t think you should have kids if you truly don’t want them. Whether a chaotic system, global warming or not- I think ultimately if you don’t want kids that’s a valid reason.

[@spulwasser]

For me too... I'm 23 and never had a relationship. I think I would like to adopt children, but rather 2-3 and I wouldn't want to do it without a partner. I know I have psychological problems, and though I'm sure I would love the kids and encourage them to talk openly about it if they feel like I'm putting any kind of pressure on them, but I don't think it's good for them if I was the only person they would see as a role model and think that my insecureties are normal/inevitable, which they aren't. There needs to be somebody else as a contrast who at least has different flaws😅

[@Falicity345]

My mom says my decision to not have children will change as I mature. Feels manipulative to give me the impression that I am going to end up having children regardless of my current thoughts

[@welikelethabo]

I agree. The only difference is my mother is cool with me not having kids. It’s mostly other surroundings like friends and extended family that tell me I’ll change my mind.

[@Andy-ct8be]

My mom has been saying that for 30 years. My dad also told me that when I got older I'd become more republican. A lot of older people are just completely out of touch, and my husband and I still don't want kids.

[@vacafuega]

Always felt that way, now much older, still not the slightest inkling. It's so creepy to say that to someone! You'll do what you decide to do, but if you are not at all interested now it's fair to say the chances you will become interested are extremely low.

[@mairino7799]

My mom still says that and I am 32.

[@AnymMusic]

@@Andy-ct8be "I'd become more republican" a.k.a "you'll become more bittered, stuck in your ways, and unhearing of others"? feels like your dad got some issues of his own to deal with ngl

[@jakestockton4808]

I want kids, but I don't think it's fair to bring a child into a dying world.

[@dominikkuzila]

The world is far from dying. People will still be saying that in 1000+ years.

[@PlanetXtreme]

@@dominikkuzila That is indeed true, and my mother thinks that's my reasoning for not wanting kids. Nope. Just don't want them.

[@lobstered_blue-lobster]

People say that every time and has been saying that since like 5000 years or something...the point is this is unrealistic pessimistic thinking.

[@simarillion666]

@@lobstered_blue-lobster what? are you kidding me? the world IS dying. we are digging our own graves.

[@ag11b69]

I just became a father myself and while I heavily considered the "Dying world" thing, I also look at it this way; Every kid that comes into this world brings with him or her limitless potential. Who knows, one of them may be the person to invent something revolutionary that will solve all humanity's problems, or they may be the generation that takes us to the stars and to other planets. Had the human race stopped having children because of impending doom, then the human race wouldn't have lasted long given all the apocalyptic stuff that has happened throughout history. For me, the future is still unknown but what is certain is that I will do my best to prepare my son for whatever lies ahead. that's all I can really do as a father, and if it is humanity's fate to perish; 1, it won't happen in a matter of decades, and 2 well, there is always hope.

[@AC-nw8cq]

In America, it's been drilled into young people's, especially millennials' and now Gen Z's, heads that we need to be more financially responsible. And yet people are confused why birth rates are plummeting? *Gestures* as I like to say "Read the room Cheryl." High costs of living, absurd tuition costs, sky high housing costs, average stagnant wage growth, compounded by disasters (pandemic, recessions, etc.) At what point in this last decade has there been a point where a majority of young/prime birthing ages have any of us felt confident/financially secure enough to have children? I feel many of us have asked ourselves "Do I feel good, bringing a child into the current state of this world, and do I have the means to support them and give them the life they deserve?" and it seems most of us have responsibly answered "No." The question people leading the country should be answering is "Have we done enough to ensure today's parents have the means and resources necessary, both independent and government provided, to successfully raise the future stewards of this country?" We all know the answer.

[@AC-mp7cx]

In America ( a western country and a very relatively wealthy country) in 2022, we are living in the absolute most economically luxurious and convenient time and place in human history. People worked hard to provide for their kids and family decades and centuries ago, when there was little technology, resources and medicine. Yet we are sitting over here on our glowing virtual screens connected to electricity saying "do we have the resources to have kids" cop-out.

[@deistormmods]

@@AC-mp7cx I agree with both what they said and what you said.

[@AC-mp7cx]

@@deistormmods Thank you. If now is not the best time to have kids, then there was never a better time.

[@jnfqt]

okay so when are you running?

[@RavenPendragon14]

@@AC-mp7cx I know you're not talking about the America that has the highest infant/mother mortality rate, highest poverty rate, and lowest educated population rate among 1st world countries? For whom is this the best time to have children?

[@cleanqueen75]

I’m 64 and chose to not have kids. No regrets!

[@captaincool6268]

good for you :D , better to have 1 happy life that ,3 unhappy , miserable, forced to live together lives

[@jdkingsley6543]

Stop lying

[@ShanKhan-cj7nv]

100th like

[@elainelouve]

I'm 44, and the statistics about the chances to become pregnant are absolutely delightful.:) Less worrying every month! Btw why do people assume childree women would be single? My husband is also childfree by choice, and we're happy.

[@patricksaxon3983]

Me too, at age 58!

[@Claire-xn1cw]

I wish you would have discussed the stigma around women who decide to be childfree, as well as the challenges women face when trying to get surgically sterilized.

[@slylover123]

They didn't? I don't want to watch the reat

[@joneeripperger1512]

THIS

[@Jesterisim]

kind of disappointed this wasn't touched on at all.

[@wherethequietbeingsgo]

Especially for women who are POC

[@AskMiko]

I think that would be a separate video. Often when a delicate topic takes too many turns, it loses its impact. Also, part of the forced sterilization comes from the angle discussed in the video about legislation and others deciding what happens. Stigma not to have a child is societal indeed, just varies around the world in how it's applied