The Caretaker - Everywhere At The End Of Time - Stages 1-6 (Complete)

[@vvmtest]

Thanks for the support through the years. May the ballroom remain eternal. C'est fini.

[@mustaphaal-buhilal4863]

i love you. and thank u, i'm full of goosebumps as the realization that this is over is settling in. forever grateful.

[@nocturn1761]

Love this

[@saiffs1]

C'est nous qui te remercions pour toutes ces années de découvertes musicales magnifiques. Merci encore

[@post1305]

very nice. thanks

[@kikeelredentor]

Thanks, so much.

[@MoltenMonsters]

when your advanced dementia gets interrupted by a Honey ad

[@bethsemane69930]

this should be the top comment lmaoo

[@jonjared88]

BRUH

[@fishsticks8198]

Swag moment when Elon Musk's brain chip streams a 5 minute long unskippable ad directly into your dementia ridden grandmother's brain causing her to seize and die

[@cleansingserum]

Omg

[@cleansingserum]

@@fishsticks8198 LMAO

[@stephenfontanilla]

The scariest thing about dementia is that you have no sense of direction, time, etc. While depression is a fight or battle, dementia is a locked maze.

[@FreshCanOfNothing]

It's horrifying

[@jazon80r13]

we in da backrooms fo today

[@stephenfontanilla]

Wait I just realized it has more meaning than what I originally thinked of

[@trolly4233]

Not only that, but it’s inevitable, no matter what we try. The human brain can only store so much. Once it’s out of space, game over for your sanity.

[@lisabeavis8598]

@ivysaur the 19 dollar card wielder if only reality was that easy...

[@talonth3k1d]

Imagine walking into a new house only for someone to tell you that you have lived there for 10 years

[@benebsbiagtan3357]

"The hell do you mean this wonderful house is our house, why is such a fine lady like you telling me this, are you seducing me perhaps?"

[@squiddlediddle]

“Im your daughter, dad.”

[@foyotey9305]

this is what happens with my uncle, and i feel so bad for him.. he even asks my aunt who she is and when she says they have been married for 30 years he gets so happy and he says "really? thats mind boggling.." and he smiles so wide, but even though re-knowing makes him happy, i cant help but feel so sad for him..

[@bananccini]

@@foyotey9305 im so sorry.

[@talonth3k1d]

@@foyotey9305 that is so sad. I’m at so sorry for you

[@jakobsams7183]

My grandfather died of dementia. It was slow…and painful for all of us. Before we knew, he was great. He was still working, even in his old age, like a badass. But as it set in, he had to fully retire and give up driving. He got over it…eventually. He soon forgot how to crank the lawn mower…or how to work the TV…or how to unwrap Christmas presents. Towards the end, he began to experience incontinence. He slept in a spare bed besides my grandmother, so he wouldn’t wet the bed. I got to visit him a day before he fully passed. By then, he was stuck in this…seemingly perpetual sleep. He made this horrible gasping snores. I knelt beside his bed and I spoke to him. And I prayed for him. I don’t know if he heard me. I hope he did. So long, Old Dinosaur. May you rest in peace.

[@aguy-1111]

you just gave me and everyone who read this comment severe depression. hang in there my man.

[@jakobsams7183]

@@aguy-1111Sorry…just needed to get it off my chest.

[@mynamesbrae]

Hearing is one of the last things to go. He heard you man.

[@saulgoodman2071]

My grandma is experience dementia and it is evolving rapidly. The struggle is real bro

[@jakobsams7183]

@@saulgoodman2071 My prayers are with your family man.

[@haydencct]

If you're lucky, your mind will die with your body.

[@khatunamezvrishvili6211]

Yeah I'm hoping that's what happens

[@rasati]

i always thought id just kill myself if i was the last person alive but now i feel like i would just forget that there was any people ever before i could bring myself to do it

[@morgankasper5227]

*unlucky

[@jacktheflash8478]

Morgan Kasper ?

[@alexmiller6795]

Morgan Kasper He means if your lucky your mind will not fade away until your body dies. With dementia, the mind dies ahead of the body, slowly withering away until nothing. The hope is that your mind won’t go until your body does.

[@husseinsaleme3343]

Imagine taking off your earphones and it resumes

[@_adrian9675]

Goddamit this got me, now im overthinking this ,why would you say...what were you saying?

[@husseinsaleme3343]

@@_adrian9675 forget to remember .forget that you're forgetting.

[@EpicLemonadez]

It resumes and everyone except you disappears, leaving you to slowly dive into insanity as this keep looping.

[@lunchpunchcrab32]

Ó Ó __

[@fatgoober7706]

That would be terrifying

[@TheLeglonnaire]

“When an old man dies, a library burns" -African proverb

[@TheLeglonnaire]

If you'd like to, volunteer at an old folks' home, or just chat with an elder if you can. Odds are with a life as long as they have lived, they'll have plenty of wild stories they'd love to share, and in turn you can pass those on too.

[@pooliso2102]

man

[@ElvireTanks]

Good one

[@burgrz_tasty1237]

When old men die I get mad and burn down a library

[@rayfan9876]

That's one of the most stunning quotes I've ever heard. I've never been more terrified for the journey that is ageing than I am now, having just turned 25, my brain set. I'm now off to learn everything on my own terms. One day, everything I learned, all the science stuff I dedicated my hours to over and above my homework for some cause I felt more important than anything, will suddenly evaporate. Or... slowly, slowly begin to untangle into senseless nothingness.

[@rj4941]

my Nanny died of dementia in 2023. For years she couldn't remember her children, or grandchildren, didn't know what the day was, would stare blankly at the TV. I'd cry whenever I visited her and would feel so guilty for not seeing her more often as she declined. A couple of days before she died, her eyes wouldn't open and her motor functions had stopped. But when we played Jim Reeves (her favourite), I noticed her lips would ever so subtly move as if she was singing along, which makes the ending of this album hit even harder. In those last moments, she could make sense of the world for the first time in years. RIP Nanny

[@TheArchesuchus]

Jesus, I'm so sorry

[@thefogiscomingthefogiscome]

this is something else, absolutely depressing Sorry for your loss :(

[@parellax]

shut up bro

[@CptBeefheart1]

The power of music to connect when nothing else can

[@Gert3434-c9f]

My friend, I am sorry for your loss I hope your nanny has a good and peaceful rest in heaven.

[@imgonnamunchimgonnacrunch4656]

This feels like when your reading but you keep accidently rereading the same paragraph. But you keep doing it until you cant understand the words anymore.

[@limeangelo6019]

Its like photocopying the same image until its just static and nothing makes sense

[@morapazfilgueira743]

That's a great metaphor...

[@johndaly9760]

From looking into dimensia it seems as though that is exactly what it is like. The familiar becomes unfamiliar and what might seem like reality is uncertain to you

[@billrobertjoe]

@@limeangelo6019 there was a project like that on Instagram but it was screenshotting

[@F5dfgvjh82j68]

I thought i was the only one this happened to... i wonder what that's called.

[@milesforziano1845]

I just wrote a very long message about my feelings on this and then KZbin crashed, deleting all of it. Seems appropriate

[@C6lter]

I feel you

[@alexpreso243]

Okie

[@screaminggrin2973]

Damn you okay man?

[@coolandgood358]

pog

[@HAVOCSLEGACY]

I'm sorry for your loss

[@luismedina9227]

I used to read to a man who had Alzheimer’s when I was younger. Read for him for about a year and a half until he passed away. At first he just confused me for his nephew and asked me why I had skipped some parts which I had read to him on previous weeks. After that he would forget about me entirely, so I had to introduce myself every time I went, just for him to think I was his nephew a few minutes later. This went on for a while, with him starting to speak less and just closing his eyes and holding my hand as I read. At one point his wife went to visit him as I was going and he only recognized me, (as his nephew) which made me really sad. Later on, he wouldn’t even speak, as he had forgotten how. Every time I would leave he would look at me with such a sad look, with half dead eyes, as if longing for something. He always held my hand as I read, always looked at me as I left. That look he had still gives me chills to this day. It’s honestly both one of the best and most terrifying experiences I’ve had in my life, and being the person who interacted with him the most, (aside from the nurses) I grew attached to him to the point where I would look forward to going to read to him. His death really hit me hard, but I can’t imagine what his wife went through, from being the most important person in his life to being forgotten completely. Now I’ve gotta say if you’ve read all of this then I admire and thank you for reading some of my old memories kind stranger.

[@PenPen-xy3xd]

No problem. Did he have the same few minutes of clarity at the end? I heard that once their time is up a few minutes beforehand they have their Alzheimer’s just disappear then finally rest.

[@luismedina9227]

@@PenPen-xy3xd I don’t know, when I went to see him last he was sleeping

[@pedlar6839]

This made me cry why does life have to be so cruel

[@trishbutpesci1210]

This comment is so bitter sweet.

[@teatowelfruitytootie7007]

I'm crying and I'm so sorry

[@TheBombShelter-TBS]

As someone who’s studying psychology, law, and linguistics I got to say there is a fascinating overlap with this album. We phonetically remember music and melodies the easiest, as they are biologically an easier load to memorize. Hearing the familiar tunes slowly fade and become more distorted, as a representation of patients suffering from dementia, was chilling. This is Especially true with my own personal experience with the disease. Before my Grandmother died, she flew across the country to live with us. She constantly called me my fathers name (which is my name, but I go by Kenny while my dad goes by Ken) because she didn’t recognize me as a young man (I was 16, and I hadn’t seen her since I was a chubby pre-pubsceent 9 year old. When I realized she was calling me “Ken” not as a nickname, but because she thought I resembled my father in his 20’s, it broke me. I cried in my room for hours and lamented to my father “Will you and Mom not remember us?”. She also called her own daughter (my mom) “Kathy” (this is my mom’s sisters name). It is most disturbing to me that at first, we would gently correct her, before becoming depressed and sad when she would continue to mis identify herself. It went to a point that my name was “Ryan” when I talked to her, and that really fucked with me. I just wanted her to be proud of the children her child raised, but she was so lost. She died in a haze of confusion ans false memories. To see such a strong Matriarch of a family reduced to the mental state of a child ruined me. I wasn’t even sad when she passed, just relieved as cruel as that sounds. It was painful for us, but could you imagine how painful it was for my Grandma Martha? Slowly losing her memories, her identity, her legacy on life she created through her 89 years of life. How I yearn to see her again, and wish that she has regained all of her sharp, witty characteristics, like her humor; In Heaven. RIP Martha Delaney 1925-2014. You are missed and remembered, even a decade later.

[@mementomori560]

I’m very sorry for your loss and sorry that you had to witness your grandma in that state. And I’m sorry that she had to suffer like that. I hope you (as well as her) have found peace.

[@SneakyInk92]

Rest in Peace, I only ever slightly know how that feels, I had a relative, who I gound out had Alzheimer's and I felt feaful, that was a year or 2 ago, I hope she's doing alright, that's just what I want to tell myself, that she's okay... but I don't know...

[@mussed8016]

My mom felt like she lost her father to dementia. She felt like she regained him after death, as she was left with only memories of his life. bittersweet

[@rottent33f]

rest in peace martha, i hope she knew how loved she was.

[@stingy418]

Why do I feel like I'm spoiling my own death?

[@legallyrequired]

Its thats true don’t worry, you won’t remember this anyway.

[@momoreview5555]

@@legallyrequired The worst part it's that the best part. We are nothing, we are our memories and when we die memories will too, so our existence will be nothing. Nothing to nothing, even if we became someone important to humanity, universe will die too, atoms will be nothing. The whole universe will became nothing "again" and then maybe there will be another universe ir maybe the universe is just a golrified loop and things will happen again for eternity. Fact is we both will not know because we were born in a time where those things i speaked about is just "teories" But hey! Don't be depressed over "nothing" lol

[@chrysalis-sbnbpcj17]

thatone guy deep lol

[@scarpusgaming]

@@momoreview5555 they certainly are "teories"

[@tamarapopovic6255]

@@tsu177 and what if you will know about it? as i know there is a lot of poetry based on thinking how light is black dirt (idk if i used the right word) so you should definitely read that. it gave me chills i hope you'll feel the same :)

[@chloe102]

this is why my friends don’t pass me the aux cord anymore

[@samashley8932]

Wdym this shits fire

[@Howtoderp]

Yeah probably

[@distortednine9]

certified hood classic

[@souljaspirits7311]

DistortedNine9 on god dis shit banging

[@annamower7339]

DistortedNine9 TOO FUNNY FOR NO REASON

[@SonalK]

They say music is the last thing you remember when suffering from dementia. So if I get dementia and this is the only album I remember I'm going to be pissed.

[@melorsomething1006]

“My mind will be gone soon... at least I’ll have some sweet tunes.” *VIOLENT STATIC AND DEEP DISTORTIONS BEYOND COMPREHENSION*

[@murilogomes4712]

@@melorsomething1006 imagine you humming this song...

[@melorsomething1006]

Murilo Gomes I think you need a very specific amount of vocal fry for that lmao.

[@skskdkdkwekekkd2347]

All the people in the nursing home singing wap🥰

[@ctenophoriaa]

@@skskdkdkwekekkd2347 wfwewfweewfwfw LMAO

[@alex-fj5rd]

My grandma just passed a little over a week ago of dementia. About 4 months ago, her and i were sitting on her bed and she kept saying she "wanted to go" and i told her she could. I told her she had been gone for a while and she looked at me with tears and said "i know". Most gut wrenching thing to hear. She was calling me by my mothers (her daughters) name because thats the only name she knew.

[@RabbitYT576]

My grandma sometimes calls me by my father's name. I dearly hope it's not anything bad...

[@alex-fj5rd]

@@RabbitYT576 i hope not too. Its terrifying to watch

[@christianaguinaga1615]

My condolences to you and your grandmother

[@christianaguinaga1615]

@@RabbitYT576you too. Godspeed to you and her.

[@alex-fj5rd]

@@christianaguinaga1615 thank you

[@Rangernewb5550]

Listening to the audible decay of the human mind is horrible sleep music

[@limeangelo6019]

Guess whos listening to this at 4:27 am

[@gabrielsantana6161]

That's the best kind of music actually

[@deadbydawn2249]

WillowsStars tbh made me sleep 70x better

[@starsnatcher4659]

I thought, hey... study music? But I'm really sad right now

[@mariejeanne8116]

@@starsnatcher4659 I studied with it (I didn't have 6 free hours) and it wasn't bad! I liked the background noise but you indeed still feel the effects

[@cameronnutballs3394]

As my friend’s grandparent once said; “don’t worry about keeping me alive, I died a few years ago’

[@surprisetroll5700]

The more I think about it the more dark and fucked it becomes, am I looking to deep into this?

[@rouamili]

@@surprisetroll5700 nah you're doing the right thing

[@DrWongburger]

@ Strange isn't it? I remember my grandmother's brother, who had quite advanced dementia; on the night of my grandmother's passing, told his caretaker another relative, that he saw his sister and that she was well. Moments later, back to his usual self as if nothing was said. A strange occurrence for me at the time, a young boy of 10 maybe. The lines between life and death, lucidity and composure all seemed to blur together. Perhaps he wasn't an addled old mind, perhaps he did indeed see his sister as she left this earth . Our minds are so much more powerful than we know, which is why I fear we know so little about combating diseases like dementia. I must admit, I am both fascinated and horrified by such diseases. Thank you for your comment.

[@epic-user-handle-83]

@@rouamili another blank

[@ImMinksie]

that’s deep-

[@porkyminchasc1150]

"The worst part of dementia isn't the fact that you can't remember, but that you forgot you even needed to."

[@Exonikk]

made it so its no 420 likes

[@karlchilds8421]

I'd argue that that would actually make it not as bad.. imagine remembering that you need to remember but not being able to, the frustration that would come with that. Not remembering that you need to remember somehow seems more peaceful.

[@porkyminchasc1150]

@@karlchilds8421 That's the thing. You no longer even feel the need to get back that piece of yourself that you lost. It's an empty bliss, which, in my opinion, is the most terrifying thing of all.

[@JarNO_WAY]

@@karlchilds8421 that's IMO the point of the name of the first song in stage 6: "A confusion so thick you forget forgetting". In a sense, the confusion in stage 5 was somewhat of a tiny ledge to hold on to. the realization that something is wrong and that things are not adding up. Stage 6 is just droning. No more realization that you're sick. No more comprehension as to what started confusion in the first place, so you stop being confused. The confusion is so thick that you forget forgetting. And that's the part where all is lost.

[@melodykuromibebbies2138]

or you don't even know you just did. you've no clue whatsoever.

[@Youtubeviewerwhoiscool]

If i die of dementia i hope my family stays for my whole 6.5 hour funeral song

[@YoinkEveryHat]

I want to thank you, youtubeveiwerwhoiscool, for lightening the mood

[@manfacecup99]

hell sirens: 🗿

[@sauliusvitkauskas8741]

ah yes dying from dementia

[@Youtubeviewerwhoiscool]

​@sauliusvitkauskas8741 well I can't do much if I get dementia

[@austingjjj]

@@sauliusvitkauskas8741technically Alzheimer’s does kill the person eventually

[@h3mog0blin]

This is like a horror movie made entirely out of sound

[@WobblesandBean]

It's worse than a horror movie, it's...how do I explain? A horror movie will effect you while it's running, but once it's over and the credits roll, it's over. You may feel some residual anxiety, but for the most part once it's done, it loses its hold on you. But this? This...will never leave me. _This will never leave me._

[@japo8757]

@@WobblesandBean It's like a psichological horror

[@eltiolavara9]

@@WobblesandBean well thats with regular horror, psychological horror stays on you for longer

[@sfglim5341]

Not really Horror movies are short in comparison xd Also this is way more terrifying than any gore

[@staleacidiccereal]

Its so much worse, its like a nightmare where you can almost run but you cant. Almost see, almost think. But at the same time its so far away. That truly haunts me

[@KELLY-yv7vp]

suddenly i really care about my mental health.

[@nightwalker4126]

*grin* 69 likes. Noice

[@gildasdoingstuff8654]

Same

[@goblin6037]

I started caring after I got Memory loss

[@noti7510]

I feel like one day I will think "dementia is when you forget stuff" and then when I don't care about swearing I'll say something vulgar, and maybe I've thought this multiple times, I keep mentally active , and I'll fight it. Music, art, writing, reading, sculpture, socialize, game, puzzle. Then I'll forget why. Demontia is a worde. I'll do it for fun. I'll play my fav game again and forget what it was about. hat was it abot?

[@liminality8791]

I have to witness my sweet grandmas descent into Alzheimer’s

[@carsonkent1749]

My great grandpa forgot who my mom and sister were. But he remembered me. Laying in the hospital bed. “How’s ol Carson” I was only 7 and I didn’t realize I was his only person. The only person that was left in his world.

[@priscillasoto9231]

this lowk made me tear up 😔

[@10pillsinmyhand]

same shit happened with my great granmom, like exact same shit bruh

[@Alernategem]

damn im ok, he meant you though i guess

[@Squiddiessquids]

The same shit happened to my great great grandmother But I don’t think she remembered my grandma or her grandchildren

[@uryu0150]

this pushed me over the edge fuck

[@arthurthoma48]

Stage 1 - Most famous EATEOT stage, this stage is actually accurate to stage 1 of dementia, you don't show signs of dementia, yet it's clear that something is wrong Stage 2 - This is where the memory loss actually starts kicking in, the songs start being more warped and distorted, the final tracks of the stage also hit on the emotional aspect, pointing out the patient knows what's coming Stage 3 - Now is where the dementia starts affecting your life as a whole, your emotions start to fade, important memories start fading away, probably the best stage on this track by far Stage 4 - Now memories start warping together into distorted messes, it's extremely hard to remember something correctly without it mixing together with other memories, now basic aspects of your life start to fade, all happiness fades away, the memories of the glory days are almost gone Stage 5 - Now the most basic aspects of your life start fading away, the distortion is now even stronger, it's impossible to remember anything coherently, everything either mixes up with other memories or appears so warped up it has little ressemblance to the actual thing itself, calmness is no more Stage 6 - The distortion gets replaced with the calmness of nothing, but at what cost? You're not yourself anymore, you're nothing, your memories are almost non-existent, your brain is now a void, almost empty of anything but radio silence. Suddenly, all the memories start fading back, you remember everything, your emotions fade back aswell, everything fades back, as you're sitting on a chair with your loved ones, you remember all their names, everything.... And then, your heart stops beating, your eyes shut, and your brain finally rests, at long last...

[@Axolutl]

Great comment one problem is that stage one shows some signs of memory loss so it’s not quite nothing. You are describing stage zero but otherwise a very great comment.

[@LeEpicGamer420]

Super underrated comment

[@puffedtails]

oh no

[@joycondrift]

i cried

[@satarathevoodoowitch5144]

The thought of your parents getting dementia is absolutely gut wrenching.

[@jazzhehe]

it sucks, my mum has it :(

[@putrakarsa]

@@jazzhehe damn bro im sorry

[@lucarion958]

Feel that. My father had a Stroke in December. A few weeks back I asked him if he was OK, as I usually do, he said good though he would forget things from time to time. I don't know if its dementia or not, but im terrefied right now. Writing that down is comforting but next time I'll see him the thought will hit again, as it did all the times since he said it. Thanks, if you took the time reading this. Stay Strong and keep your head up :)

[@Puthyslayer2000]

I had the thought of my mom getting it, and my heart hurt. It was like a tensing, cramped up feeling. Just the thought brings me pain.

[@hat_kid6224]

My grandma has schizofrenia and bipolar disorder, and my grandpa cardiac diseases, he's half deaf and has alzheimer It really sucks dude... And they aren't even my direct parents

[@n16161]

Never browsed a single video’s comments section for 6 hours before.

[@limeangelo6019]

I too have been browsing this comment section in hopes to stop my adhd from clicking away

[@NuniaBiznaz]

Bit of a shame, all of the different stages have different artwork and it's pretty nice.

[@papabroly8000]

666th like *_I'm sorry. Had to do it_*

[@nspreacts]

N. J. same man

[@carkeyslol]

fellow traveler here, in the middle of stage 5 and this is keeping me sane frankly, I’ve found a lot of things I would never have ever before tonight

[@f4c3n4t0r]

Nothin' like sitting down and listening to the gradual decline of the human psyche

[@slvrcross]

Lol

[@kirbylovesyou2]

Yup, because with no recollection of the past without any form of documentation to prove otherwise, it's like it never happened. It truly is a crazy notion and a harsh reality.

[@wayfarer6349]

Funny enough, thats what im doing

[@cameo64]

This is my third time

[@tykerary8726]

@@kirbylovesyou2 p.

[@MattMorgan-mt9st]

My Grandma has dementia. It's gotten bad to the point that she had to move to a nursing home, she can no longer look after her self. recently My Grandad past away from blood cancer which was hard for me. My mother and I took my Grandma to the funeral service and we sat down at the front row in the church. She asked my Mother. "Should we save a seat for my husband?" She had forgotten that the service was for her husband. Hearing this just destroyed me in the inside. I remember when she was bright and full of colour and joy. It was scary seeing her mind deuterate as the years went by. I'm happy with the little time I have left with her.

[@FoxTaleGaming1]

Stay strong man. A couple years ago I lost my grandpa. I can’t imagine what you are going through.

[@SirKingBoo21]

My mom told me once that my great grandma had dementia. She said they had to take all the mirrors out of the house because she was scared of the person who was in them.

[@tracyday4104]

That. That is true fear. If you cant bear to see the person in your mirror. Then you are getting close to where if you see a simple picture of you... it's just jumbled shapes and parts put together.

[@angelinatruitt2751]

That's terrifying...

[@LanieMae]

@@peyton3509 when I look in the mirror I always see a super ugly person /s

[@aydanscott9871]

@@tracyday4104 That’s terrifying. Forgetting the familiar human form we see every day, looking completely alien

[@scarly9674]

yes same with my grandad he would get really frustrated because he thought an old man was following him. i think its mainly because they regress so they think they are younger. it’s terrifying what your own brain can do to you, he would watch tv but he thought that the people were actually there with him like he would tell us about his trips to new york because there was a tv programme about new york ect

[@samgrogan5628]

One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do is grieve the loss of a person who’s still alive.

[@saenz1295]

my grandma has worsening dementia, and this comment mortified me.

[@LolLol-gd7ly]

@@saenz1295 stay strong👊

[@JRSpoon]

@@saenz1295 same. My grandma doesn’t even recognize her own children. But I hope when both of our grandmothers die, they are happy in heaven

[@trec713]

My best friend that I ever had experienced an onset of schizophrenia at 19, and lost his personality and perception of the world almost entirely. He was replaced by somebody else. I remember struggling so hard with it, and panicking and severing connections with him after his family moved him away. The closest way I could describe my feelings of this was to tell people it felt like he died. This was five years ago. Reading your words here today struck something in me and I started crying. I think you captured my thoughts and emotions on this experience perfectly. Cherish the moments with the people that you love. Don't waste time. You don't know how much of it you actually have.

[@w1ngd1ngs]

@@trec713 i’m so sorry you had to experience that. i’m sure you must’ve felt extremely horrible. i really hope it gets better for you. i really do. i know i can’t do much through a computer screen, and i may not be able to relate as i’ve never gone through that. things will be ok. stay strong.

[@aboredyoutuber1642]

Well there is an old saying "Nostalgia is the Best and Worst Feeling."

[@padorupadoru8039]

it's happiness and sadness

[@262ivanh]

It is one of my favorite emotions

[@Haha-gp6hy]

Ngl it is the best and worst feeling 🤔

[@HS-bh9dz]

Old? I remember it's creation like yesterday...

[@hubert6927]

I'd would say it's the best from the worst feelings

[@chasemcnab7610]

I work as a nurse, I’ve taken care of numerous people suffering thru various stages of dementia. Me and my co-workers have mutual agreements that if we develop dementia, we’d rather take our own lives while we still have ourselves than go thru what our patients go thru. Many patients with dementia that have brief moments of lucidity will beg to die upon realizing what’s happening to them. I see it as nothing short of cruel that people are forced to experience the hell of losing themselves and their reality for the sake of maintaining “life”. This is a fear that had been boiling under the surface of my consciousness, previously mixed in with the stress, frustration, sadness and pain of trying to care for these people, that I could never quite nail down until I heard this album. It has helped me to empathize more easily with my patients and I’m not sure that’s completely good: now the dread of the disease and what it represents is much sharper in my mind, but now at least I can face it with renewed clarity and will to experience life to its fullest, despite the nightmares it gives me. And when I say nightmares, I mean: “A blasted landscape stretches before me, ashen earth rising into sharp hills and crests casting shadows black as night. The sky a faded memory of orange. A two legged creature walks on four across it, its limbs long, broken, misshapen, its body withered, its face, murky and faded. Its skin as ashy as the landscape its fingers, claw-like, grasps as it tediously pulls itself forward. Wind blows, cutting as ice, pushing with the force of an explosion. The creature cradles itself, though this offers no protection against the wind. Why does it do this? Is this some comfort to itself? Was it ever held before by another? The wind subsides, the crawl resumes, until the wind blows again. The path ahead seems lonely.”

[@smartsmartie7142]

Your dream reminded me of myself. Since I was small I was thinking about what life means. Why people die, why I am so insignificant. I coped with it by escaping into fantastical worlds, I read fiction the entire day, school just felt so empty and just reminded me of the dread. People were going around oblivious to the fact that everything ends, that one day there will be nothing left. I am extremely drawn to the dream you described, I search emptiness in art, an endless meaninglessness that stretches on into infinity. I guess the conclusion to draw from this is empathy towards other people, especially those who are suffering. But I can't get my mind of the thought that even that doesn't mean anything. We all need delusions to continue to function. In the end death is the greatest equaliser, no matter how rich, how smart, how loved amongst people, everyone has to face their mortality and suffering.

[@FannyctalopeTV]

After my grandmother passed away, one of my core memory was my mom saying the same thing and asking for help to d!e if she wasn’t able to do it herself, just after taking care of my grandma during her last years

[@litessbu]

@@smartsmartie7142 I’ve been doing a little thinking on it myself recently. I’ve figured that you can find meaning in people. In a sense of belonging, that even after you pass, you will still be there, in the minds of those who knew you. If you’re religious, then you can feel safe in knowing that you will be with your loved ones again. If you’re not religious, the even after everything is gone, once Earth is no more and the last shreds of humanity are gone, we will still have left a lasting impact on our the universe around us, by changing our landscape, the orbits of our planets, and most of all, the lives of the people who were once around. Because what really matters is that we are here, now, in this moment. They say to not worry about the past, because you can’t change it. They say to not worry about the future, because you can’t predict. They say that the now is a gift, and that’s why they call it the present. If the people around you matter to you at an abstract, emotional level, then you can safely assume that you matter to the people around you at an abstract, emotional level.

[@smartsmartie7142]

@@litessbu I was very delusional and depressed for a long time, it's terrifying to come out of it and realising that it never was real that I was some sort of god who lives on earth. I had to deal with the fact that everything will pass, the conclusion is that the moment is everything, that by being kind to others and doing things I won't regret is right. Probably the reason I think about the end of things is because of little personal issues, my personal inability to function in this world, that I project onto the world, because in the end the world is just neutral. It just is. Which ultimately also gives me the freedom to stay true to myself and nothing else, I need to judge my actions, noone else. Sounds pretty healthy so far lol

[@keelanesquivel3854]

@@smartsmartie7142 We have traveled similar paths, my friend. It's nice to see a familiar face. Lets make the most of this life while we're here.

[@doctordemon9324]

Me: Oh, come on, this isn't that bad. Me 6 hours later: Post Awareness Stage 6 is without description.

[@cumsupremacist1328]

yooo nice just kill me pfp

[@dove4965]

until the 2 hours mark it's bearable and slow-changing, after that there is a massive jump and its mostly spoopy sounds with bits of recognizable distorted melody, sometimes playing multiple melodies at once

[@OrangeC7]

@@dove4965 I skipped through it because I wanted to see what it was like even though I wouldn't be able to find the time to listen to the whole thing continuously. The only way I could describe those later tracks is that it's as if there's a remnant of some kind of musical quality far, far off in the distance, and I tried to grab it, but it kept getting farther and farther away, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

[@BradCarlMusic]

@@dove4965 "spoopy" - love that.

[@am_ist]

OrangeC7 The cover art for Stage 6 is the back of a painting, unreachable.

[@emilianodavila3127]

I wouldn’t wish dementia to anyone. It’s really depressing.

[@aftereating9720]

And scary

[@lovf8396]

as someone who deals w a family member with it, it’s very tiring. :(

[@DaVizzle_Bro]

Yeah one day I came home and found my papaw sitting on the floor with his pants halfway off just staring at nothing, he would just zone out like that from time to time. Luckily he didn't have to deal with his dementia for too long and passed away peacefully while watching his favorite western show gunsmoke.

[@lucabalsasalsa]

@@DaVizzle_Bro damn

[@proph7543]

My Grandpa had it, didn't know who I was in the end. Dementia is really one of the most insidious diseases.

[@mcarthur6720]

The fear of memory loss is so hard to put into words. You can live out a whole fulfilling life and by the end you haven't lived a single day.

[@WobblesandBean]

Such a poignantly devastating way to describe it. You did so perfectly.

[@МайяРождественская-д2ш]

This comment makes me cry

[@LuizHRDC]

It won't happen if you make sure to be miserable the whole way long. Just wall to wall of letting it all go as your frustration on not doing anything to feel alive leads you to nowhere.

[@lucas-qf2qe]

Amazing description

[@Spoonsies_]

This one. This comment made me realize how horrifying it is.

[@hashketchum5624]

my dad was diagnosed with alzheimer's last autumn. he was only just about to turn 60. I can't articulate how scared I am for him, and how scared I can tell he's getting, too. he still remembers many things, but I can tell, bit by bit, things are fading. I love him so much. I don't want him to go like this. this album haunts me.

[@darinator3000]

Боже мой, это ужасно... Я очень сочувствую твоей ситуации..

[@meowmasterL346]

I am so sorry to hear. Please spend as much time with him in these good times while you still can, make the good memories for him to latch onto now as the older ones fade away. I lost my grandmother to alzheimer's when I was only 6, so didn't even get to make many memories with her or hear stories at all. I do vaguely remember visiting her in the nursing home when she still remembered me, and how she smiled when she saw us. I'll pray that your dad's years ahead of him are still going to be happy and fulfilling. 🙏

[@AlexCAlexL]

My mom was diagnosed with early onset alzheimers. She was 50. She drove to work. She would sing. She made jokes. She was the light of my life. It's only been 5 years. She doesn't know where she is ever. Who we are. Who her grandson is. It's a disease that takes incredibly quickly and it gives nothing back. My little brother missed out on so many memories with her. And I feel robbed that now that I am old enough to appreciate her, I will never get to really have a conversation with her, as adults. I miss her but I can't even mourn her. She's still here. But she isn't.

[@user-dx3qk8dk7r]

a few years ago, my grandma was beginning to show signs of dementia and at first it was small things, like not knowing the name of something maybe once a day. 3 years later, after her husband died, it got way worse and now she barely knows her daughter, and doesn't know her sons at all, and it's really hard to watch. i try to be nice to her whenever i see her, as she only has a couple years left. i love her. her children do. and she's still aware of her issue, vaguely. stage 5 is coming soon i think. best of wishes to you man, i get how it feels. it sucks.

[@itsbeastly187]

This hurt. You ok bro 😔

[@solomonanagho3371]

Am so sorry this happened to you

[@Balkor]

Sorry to hear that

[@cyrocell]

Jesus man, Alzheimer’s is a daily fear of mine even tho I still got (hopefully) another 31 years of shit still in my brain, it kinda haunts me. I hope we find a cure to Alzheimer’s or dementia soon. Best of luck to your momma.

[@Adam-de8jm]

My grandma just told us that today is November 11, 2001. She congratulated my mom on the birth of my brother (who is now 19). Came here to think about that.

[@sofk2939]

im so sorry :(

[@Goodwind88]

Oh no...

[@seventeen4094]

im sorry hope you feel better

[@carlosalbertoyatacoalmendr7977]

:(

[@davidcanchila4045]

Hope your brother finds comfort in knowing his grandma loved him that much as to remember him.

[@5ifthseal]

this made me feel black and white in a world of color.

[@azzie9470]

Which ironically is what we boil down to

[@kmelons]

That's a really good point. I feel the exact same, oddly enough.

[@melinder3354]

@@kmelons do you remember that saying, comfort the disturbed or something?

[@ferserrano4714]

@@melinder3354 art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted is the quote you meant?

[@melinder3354]

@@ferserrano4714 ah yes thank you

[@adampartridge1903]

I'm likely about to say goodbye to my next-door neighbour. Known him since childhood, on christmas 2020 he was alone cause of lockdown so we gave him a Christmas dinner at the front door. Only a year and a half ago I was still seeing him in the local pub and having a fast-paced chat with him just as if he was anyone else. His deterioration's been very rapid and he's in a care home now. When we went to see him a few weeks ago he didn't know who we were and was visibly saddened by being unable to remember anything we were talking about, like his old house and our other neighbours. But when I told him that the pub isn't the same without him and that we miss him there, he smiled in a flattered way that showed he at least understood the sentiment :) Fortunately his suffering is almost at an end, his daughter told us today that he's stopped eating and is asleep most of the time, in the next few days he'll likely be at peace. Goodbye John, thanks for being the perfect old man next door for as long as I can remember. Godspeed ❤

[@adampartridge1903]

Update less than a day later - he's gone. I'm honestly just relieved because I can't imagine how horrible the internal experience of slowly losing his independence to dementia was for him. He's no longer suffering and it's the relief we've all been waiting for. RIP John Guy 7th June 1937 - 22nd September 2024 Godspeed ❤

[@ajdndbdjbdj]

​@@adampartridge1903indeed, sometimes death is more merciful than living

[@fujicakes_]

Hopefully his soul can find peace in heaven.

[@SneakyInk92]

Rest in Peace, he sounded like a cool and chill guy 🕊️

[@cipronix4394]

a moment of silence for a guy in the comment section called RYAN who told us he would play the album in reverse to see what happens he never came back F come to think of it, he might not be back cause he started dead

[@ummmhelp]

Hes is now the deadest man in history

[@insecurebee]

F

[@sabrynafranca2225]

F

[@ZombiBlender]

No he came bac

[@cipronix4394]

@@ZombiBlender did u see him

[@chalitea2710]

and suddenly, you remember everything. but it's already over.

[@ianblanchet5500]

Let's hope it ends that way

[@caidencollins7696]

Fuck don’t say that to me. Oh god that hurt so badly.

[@neurozenith73]

Poems Are Scary, Which Can Spook The Listener Badly :P

[@luminiscentric218]

This compliments the words "could have"

[@slampunk6678]

i really hate to break this but once those neurons are gone, they are gone Forever.

[@2gourd]

stage 1. “you’ve been a bit forgetful this week,” your husband tells you. “is everything okay?” you nod, continuing the search for your keys. ‘old age is getting to me,’ you say, as you’re well aged and memory tends to slip. it’s just some keys. everybody loses keys. you give your granddaughter two cookies instead of one every so often, because you don’t recall giving her the first. stage 2. ‘what’s the… what’s the word for…’ “hey, are you sure you’re alright?” ‘yeah, yeah, i just… the word for that thing where you… hm.’ you can’t seem to remember that word on the very tip of your tongue. and you can’t remember the name of your granddaughter’s friend, despite seeing her multiple times. you show up to a doctor’s appointment at 3am and wait outside in an overheating car for an hour until the police escort you home. ‘do you remember that, uh… that, uh...’ stage 3. ‘did you hear about the building collapse?’ “...no, where was that?” ‘just down the road from here! the entire building went down! my coworkers and i saw it.’ your daughter and her grandchildren smile and nod along as you ramble about you witnessing a building go down while working in the building you’re currently in. (unbeknownst to you, nothing like this ever happened, and you aren’t an employee at the nursing home.) stage 4. when your daughter brings in her two grandchildren, you’re a little confused. you recognize them, you know their faces and that they’re related to you, but their names… their names… what are their names? and why does your daughter keep taking your silverware from your purse? that’s your stuff. (it isn’t. you keep stealing it from the nursing home’s dining room.) stage 5. who are these two kids that are visiting you? what’s the name of this younger woman you just barely recognize? what are these stories they keep telling you? where even are you? you wander hopelessly through the halls of this strange building you don’t recognize. stage 6. you’re just crossing the threshold. you've been struggling to walk and get yourself dressed lately. you can't recall anything anymore. someone shows you a tiny rectangle that shows two other people, who smile and wave at you, one asking, “how are you, ma?” tears rush to your eyes. you don’t know these people. alzheimer's is genetic in my family. my grandma is currently entering the sixth stage, and i’m most likely going to get it when i’m older. we didn’t get to see much of the first two stages, as my grandpa used to keep her in order when he was alive. then when he passed, we saw just how forgetful and confused my grandma was. this was basically just her journey through the stages, and i have a vague idea of how the sixth one’s going to go. looking through the comment section, i saw some stories of loved ones with alzheimer's and dementia, so i decided to share mine. i’m really hoping we can find some way to prevent alzheimer’s, because it sucks to witness my grandma’s slow deterioration. it feels like she died when my grandpa did. and it sucks even worse to know that my mom will most likely have it, and then my sister and i most likely will. so yeah. good luck, future me. update: my grandmother passed in august of 2023. it’s incredible she made it so long in her condition, but she was always a very stubborn person. before this disease destroyed her brain, she was a wonderful person, always willing to take on the world just because she could. she was an aggressive businesswoman who refused to be turned down from positions just for being female, showing up to interviews in full suits, challenging everyone’s ideas. she started fading when i was young, so i missed out on most of her personality, but she lives on in her beautiful artworks we keep around the house. thank you, grandma. rest easy now. see you on the other side. and thank all of you for reading.

[@sendumranch8629]

That was beautiful

[@wazzbot547]

My grandma has it and is in about stage 3-4, I never realized how awful Alzheimer’s is and I hate myself for not realizing the pain she has to endure. A few weeks ago my mom started crying because she didn’t recognize her. She still recognizes me but now I’m terrified. I don’t know anymore. This is so eye opening but not in a good way.

[@x5hris]

holy shit this was amazing. good luck future you, whoever you are.

[@sendumranch8629]

wazzbot same my grandpa just got diagnosed with dementia including his anxiety since childhood he was my only father figure in my life he loved me and my sister like nothing else but he’s not himself anymore use to be a stubborn old man now he’s just there and I know time will come where he will not be there anymore but I scared he won’t remember who he was and the people who loved him I don’t know what I’ll do if he forgets and leaves

[@velledaOfficial]

well every now i then i suggest you prepare your entire life, lets say once a week, to build a huge memento-like recall system, that will if not help you, at least ease the way into this descent of madness. I am a bipolar and if i dont take my meds or if i take to much drug oh boy. Having mental illness is hard.

[@a.d.e.l.y.n]

i haven't even gotten past the A album, and i'm laying in bed and crying my eyes raw. reading the comments makes my stomach hurt. every word i read brings another stab to my gut and my tears come rushing out quicker than i can handle. i'm not sure why i'm crying. i don't have a reason to. nobody in my family that i know close has had dementia or has died, even. there's not a single connection i've had to loss, lest you count the pets which i've moved on from in less than a handful of months. i've never had to deal with forgetfulness. it doesn't run in the family. my great grandmother, the oldest in my family, knows me well. she knows me by name, along with her siblings and children and grandchildren. my grandmother is in perfect health, my mother is nowhere near death. it's funny, i read somewhere once that ancient romans had hired people for funerals to mourn for the dead in place of the attendants. perhaps the mourners weren't genuinely upset for a death they had no connections to, but i feel like a mourner myself. every person i read the input of builds my realization of how vast the world is, how many different people with full lives suffer the same thing. it breaks my heart as if theirs was my own, as if i was with every person who had ever had dementia, as if i had eighty years of life on my sleeve and nothing to prove it for. it scares me. it scares me so much. i'd rather die young than forget. i doubt anybody will read this. i'm just a girl lamenting on to nobody about crying for other people's struggles without any of her own. it's pathetic. and yet, i cry.

[@elijahguttman9289]

You're empathetic, that's the opposite of pathetic :)

[@SneakyInk92]

It's not pathetic at all, it's simply empathy.

[@edgerbrawler]

Grandpa rizzed me up. We're NOT GOING TO OHIO YOU FOSSIL

[@nikolasha8554]

I understand your feeling. Going thru the same rn

[@Emo445]

You wrote this in such a poetic sort of way, it was nice to read. empathy is not a bad thing, you'll be alright.

[@teagannam]

I don’t know which is more terrifying anymore... being forgotten or forgetting yourself

[@AttractorsAltAccount]

Being dead is both. Or neither, if there is an afterlife.

[@sixkicksfightertricks949]

Forgetting yourself is worse.

[@vynrix90]

If you are forgetting yourself then you are being forgotten

[@vynrix90]

But the more I think about it the scarier it seems im just a child and...... I'm sacred of all the stuff that my life has to offer me bad or good I'm.... Scared

[@Jomester]

The universe will end at some point so everything and everyone will forever be forgotten when it happens.

[@demetriosguzman7240]

it’s crazy everyone is talking about how they feel listening to it, it’s only six hours, imagine this strung out across the remaining years of your life

[@elik934]

Rightt

[@pittolikeditto]

Time is not real. It is the imagination of our senses.

[@tristiankirby]

@@pittolikeditto well in a sense time is real. Time is a construct to wrap our brains for a period of it. Time is a length that needs to be overcome by barriers to stay afloat. Hence why nothing is the same length (60sec,60 min, 24 hours) its all just to help us understand the world better in a way that makes sense. The fact that this whole album could be a throwback to the 1930's really puts you in a loop thinking you are also 80+ years old which is the starting signs. If we didn't have those times to calculate we wouldn't understand anything. So even though time itself doesn't exist it exists in relativity.

[@CoastGhostt]

Exactly. It makes you think of what your life is and treasure every second of it.

[@Riri-ue1vk]

Wait so the sounds are supposed to be dementia itself or the feelings u experience

[@PedroHernandez-sx2ck]

The worst part of forgetting is to remember you forgot.

[@AbhNormal]

This sounds like a O1 - Stage 6 A confusion so thick you forget forgetting moment

[@osvaldoandresgamarrasuarez9319]

Imagine forgetting you're forgetting...

[@Warblertownsend]

@@osvaldoandresgamarrasuarez9319couldn’t be m-….. What?

[@Effigy_the_furb]

As someone with memory issues I only realized how bad it was once I found out about this...... I found out about it back in April and I have never been the same since, my anxiety been going wild since I found out it's gotten so bad i can't even remember certain people..

[@justinkianaalfredo6843]

@@osvaldoandresgamarrasuarez9319 local man forgets forgetting, instantly gains his memory back

[@SeraphiDreams]

Not that anyone will probably end up reading this, but when this first came out years ago I listened and didn’t really have too much real appreciation for it aside from the good things people have said about it, but now that’s changed, my grandma is entering the beginning stages of dementia and is forgetting things quite often, I don’t think she’s yet realized anything’s wrong. It’s hard, but listening to this again is really somber, for a lack of better words, and I have a huge appreciation for this now. As I’m writing this, I’m about to enter stage four of the album. Thank you, very much for reading.

[@tamar6470]

my dad was paralyzed from his left side and he was unable to walk for ten years. he had liver cancer and on top of that, his swallowing system was not working so we used to feed him through a tube. his brain was dying every passing day. he used to say "i hope god will take my body before he takes my mind." he was getting worse and worse. he couldn't even speak. but on his last day, he said my name. i was the only person he remembered. his eyes looked sparkly but lost at the same time. i cannot imagine how he felt at that time. during the days when he was slowly realizing what was happening to him, he said "life is beautiful; yet so scary at the same time." indeed, dad. it is beautiful, yet so scary.

[@audrey5120]

This is breaking me I’m so sorry

[@ambrizluis850]

I dont have words to say about this after reading it

[@giulianoforti542]

no one deserves to feel this pain, i am terribly sorry...

[@bunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunz]

This is absolutely heartbreaking. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I hope you and your family are healing from this tragedy.

[@splicegodlovessplice]

That's horrible, my grandma has dementia, she doesn't remember if you had given her coffee about 5 seconds ago...

[@jacksonmorris6389]

I don’t fear death, but this gives a view into something much, much worse.

[@lalchhandama3805]

I fear the pain my loved ones will go through when I die

[@notar5564]

There are fates ways worse than death

[@PajamaManor]

@@notar5564 fates?

[@Ironboiibruuhhh]

Same

[@blakethesnake6686]

As Mario once said : "You go to hell before you die."

[@Coryclipskenshin]

dementia is so terrifying, it’s like the mind dies off before the body does.

[@joli_giiv]

Wow.... I never knew that.... dementia must be so scary....

[@beepbeeplettuce5890]

Thats literally what happens

[@aslqey]

ive never experienced forgetting something precious. basically, life. ive always forget small things, things like “oh, why did i come in here for?” or “did i do *this* or *that* yet?”. never anything tragic, huge, and desirable. it must be absolutely terrifying. especially losing it all slowly, and slowly, and slowly. till you feel like everything around you doesnt exist. your mind is so clueless, you feel dizzy, almost like the world is LITERALLY turning. i wish best for everyone that has dimentia.

[@justinfielder526]

@@nikcuteboy bro...

[@keio36yearsago89]

@@nikcuteboy same, i don’t think any one would care if i died anyways :p

[@milesyyfluffyboy]

My grandfather is in (what I believe to be) in the end stages of dementia. The home he's staying at has recently moved him to a different one away from everyone else, because he can't eat properly anymore. He needs constant supervision now. The last time I saw him was Christmas Eve, and he didn't recognize anyone who came to see him. I know deep down how this will end, but it hurts so much.

[@SkeeloFn]

Wish you all the best man 💙

[@christianaguinaga1615]

Godspeed to you and your grandfather.

[@skinskinner]

if dementia can be cured i hope he gets cured if not i hope it gets invented soon

[@Melaniexxfanx]

God bless ❤

[@Fishii444]

@@skinskinner sorry, i'm pretty sure it's impossible to make a cure for dementia. you can only slow it down...

[@MegaSim3]

I used to work at an elderly folks home here in Germany when I was 17. We had a whole floor designated to dementia patients. The shifts there were the amongst, if not at the top, of my most horrifying experiences. We had an elderly gentleman, who has since passed away, called Herr Barian. He was a Wehrmacht veteran who had served on the eastern front in WW2. The only, _only_ thing he did all day, at *every wake hour* was scream his lungs out in terror for his own life. Sometimes he was fearing for his life being taken by the Red Army, sometimes he feared getting killed by the SS for sparing the life of Russian soldiers and civilians. In either case, he was scared for his life 24/7. And screaming, all the time. "Not me! Not Herr Barian! Please, please, please not me!" It fucking scarred me for life. I will never forget the second-hand terror I experienced. Now imagine _how HE must have felt._

[@miakoi2992]

I remember once I was listening to a Call Of Cthulu campaign podcast, and honestly it felt like something very similar. In one of the cells, there was a man who kept saying "The Egypt, the Egypt is in this room, I can hear the Egypt, where is the Egypt", and I got reminded of this at the start of stage 4, honestly. It's unsettling.

[@vanessao7617]

I cant imagine living in this constant state of mind I hope he rests in peace

[@tyleryoung8994]

thank you for sharing this experience, I hope you are doing well mentally now and I hope that gentlemen is doing well somewhere in the distant positivity

[@DHMotion]

i also worked in a nursing home through college, from 16 to 21, and there was also an entire ward for the dementia patients, The first time I went up there there was this old man laying his chair, screaming "help me! help me! I CANT SWIM!" over and over again. Another man would walk from his chair to the refrigerator in the dining room, and open it and close it. All day. There were moments of clarity that actually were worse than the terror. The human person inside would occasionally rise to the surface. I remember vividly this old lady waking from her delusion, grabbing my arm, and whispering to me, "please, please, I want to go home." Absolutely haunting. At that point i would prefer death.

[@Watsonincorporated]

God bless all of you, that sounds mentally draining

[@namesurname8474]

This gives me an uncomfortable feeling on a whole different level.

[@cosbypoop]

UNEASY LISTENING

[@goobea]

Dude same. I hate it, but I also like it for giving me these emotions in the first place

[@JaspersMoths]

This hurt my ears

[@IsomerMashups]

@@cosbypoop Inhuman music.

[@Archviste_]

its like giving me false memories im only 13 why do i have memories of dancing in a ballroom???

[@demon_days174]

anyone else have the expirence when one song finishes and another starts you completely forget the previous song ?

[@refrigerator577]

im almost at the end. I forget it all believe it or not

[@cadaver328]

demon_ days i think that’s the point

[@SergiojT254]

We move on, we humans have to. Gripping to the past makes us not have realization of the future

[@porschaguerrero8658]

LMAO mahonase YOOOO THIS COMMENT SCARED ME THATS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. I can’t remember the songs

[@alyssa6434]

yes.

[@lostghost7915]

I visited my grandma again yesterday and it was the first time she didn't recognize me, or my father who is her own son, and her husband kept talking to her but instead of occasionally remembering something and laughing, she stared at him the whole time without any expression. When we went back to the home up the elevator, she stared at herself in the elevatormirror, in a wheelchair, and I realized that she's gone now. I love her so much. She's such a kind soul and even now she still is, we got her to eat something but even then, the only thing she did was gesture to us that we should eat first. She doesn't even know us but still wants to share. When I listened to this album a few years ago she already had dementia but was still fully there. What a haunting disease.

[@solev657]

Damn bro I was reading through the comments. I wish all the best to you and your grandman despite the depressing situation ❤

[@spiderc4076]

About a year after my great grandpa got dementia, I remember walking into his room at the nursing home once to see him holding his phone, saying “Joe, why won’t you pick up?” And dialing the same number over and over and over again. I said hi to him, and he said, “Oh, hello. Have you spoken with Joe recently?”. I didn’t know who Joe was, but when my Mom came into the room, she pulled me aside for a second. “Joe was the one who set him and your Great Grandma up in their first date, and he was Grandpas best friend”. I asked why he wasn’t answering grandpas calls then, and she told me that Joe had been dead for ten years. And in the next few weeks before he died, he spent hours a day calling Joe over and over again. I visited him often, and we would sit there while he told me about Joe, but every minute or two he would come across a part of a story that he didn’t remember. he would stop and get this confused expression on his face, and then he would look at me and say “Oh dear. Oh, dear.” Then he just continue. The one thing he never forgot was me and my sisters Hershey kisses. Every time we had ever visited him, at least since we were old enough, he would give my sister and i one Hershey kiss each. At his funeral my mom gave me his bag of Hershey kisses, told me to take as many as I like. I took one. I still have that Hershey kiss, sitting in a little jar. I like the think that he’s still there, in that little Hershey kiss. I miss him. I really do miss him.

[@lzlsh4dypxycholzl659]

Dang..that's sad

[@shocks413]

Dalm I’m speechless 😶 RIP your grandfather and RIP Joe.

[@isegeese]

i’m so sorry for your loss

[@db622]

Made me tear up

[@DanielFlores-rq7uc]

Joe momma

[@srirachasoldier3417]

Imagine living a whole life, overcoming so much struggle, and developing a wide array of memories, good and bad, to become the person you are, just to forget it all in your final moments. It is truly a horrifying way to pass.

[@m0llo]

I agree, it is scary to think about. I guess my hope is that my living friends/family will be able to remember me after I pass and hopefully I will be remembered as I saw myself and how I wanted to be known.

[@cloudy5555]

Worst thing is that it isn't moments its years.

[@i.e.g.p3914]

A

[@SamuelBlack84]

It makes life seem rather pointless

[@thefaisal8957]

Guts😞💔

[@TieisAwsom]

"Post Awareness Stage 6 is without description" is by far the most terrifying thing I've ever read.

[@RayisanArtist101]

Its unnerving, the most terrifying and heart wrenching thing i’ve ever heard, listening to it makes me pause and think about memories I had long forgotten. It genuinely scares me, there is a feeling I can’t quite place in the pit of my chest, its like my chest is freezing and twisting uncontrolably. Its an unorthodox loop of memories that have come and gone, times I wish I had spent with people that valued my time and being, times I wish I hadn’t cried, all in one song, one stage.

[@lcdream4213]

I still don't fully understand the meaning of the title

[@RayisanArtist101]

@@lcdream4213 The entire video is about the stages of dementia, the final stage is “without a discription” because at that point, in the final stage, everything that you once knew, anything you could have done or explained, is gone. You don’t recognize anything but a hazy memory that doesn’t seem quite right, so, if you put yourself into the music, and you would go with it, you would see and feel the fear and the feeling of loosing all of your memories. You would forget how to describe simple things, hence, “Post Awareness Stage 6 is without description” In this stage, you can only hear fragments of notes, distant footsteps, and white noise. The picture only emphasizes the emptyness, a blank canvas. The video makes you think, well, it makes me think, and being a good visualizer, it makes it more surreal. I hope this helped

[@andermedievil]

@@Jaymark895 in the descriptions are the timestamps.

[@vikiv.1352]

That's like no comments on steroids

[@nyakotsu863]

I was my grandmother's caretaker from about age 17 to 28, her son was a deadbeat and my mother passed away from cancer when I was 15 so we were all that each other had left. My grandma and I were very close. Her dementia began setting in in 2020 I want to say. Watching someone you love lose themselves and forget who they are and where they are, and occasionally forgetting you is an indescribable pain to endure. You feel so helpless, you both know something is wrong but there's nothing you can do. My grandma passed away in July 2023. Even if she forgot who she was sometimes, where she was, no matter what she forgot she always remembered me. Even if there were brief times she forgot who I was in the end she still remembered me. It's extremely difficult to listen to the caretaker because it is so eerily accurate it is, it hits very close to hy heart. It's very sad but such a beautiful piece of work

[@Schnoicky]

Tried learning “It’s just a burning memory” from memory on trumpet, and accidentally learned it in the wrong key. How ironic...

[@travelingghost9302]

U remember ur dog?

[@martianbuilder5945]

The original song is called "Heartaches" by Al Bowlly. It's a few semitones higher and faster than this one; you might have learned that instead.

[@Schnoicky]

@@martianbuilder5945 Funnily enough, I checked Heartaches and found that I had learned a different key from that one too. I literally accidentally learned a key that is dissonant from BOTH versions.

[@martianbuilder5945]

@@Schnoicky What about C3, E2, F4 in this video? Same song but *even lower* key and tempo.

[@nayelizombie]

Noice

[@benjamin45554]

can't wait to traumatise everyone at my DJ party Edit: this is such a stupid ass comment, how come it's gotten so many likes???

[@endermax195]

@Ken Clarke a man of culture as well i see

[@blasphemous_egg]

This is going to be the only thing i let my kids listen to

[@sandraplattsphoneaccount7799]

Those people are gonna be confused until the 4th stage then they're gonna be traumatized

[@nolanmartisius9605]

When you're in a solar sands video

[@bodycornflower]

@@blasphemous_egg you are a monster

[@LobotomizedLemon]

"And who are you, young Lady? My Grandson's new Girlfriend?" "No, Grandma, it's me. I'm your Granddaughter." I'll miss her.

[@camilla3492]

so sorry for your loss 💛

[@LobotomizedLemon]

@Heybrine Yeah, it's Terrifying. My grandmother had Alzheimers and since I didn't visit her as much due to me living away a few hours, I didn't get to see her that often. I was the first one to be forgotten by her and that lasted throughout the last three years of her life of always asking me who I am whenever I came to visit.

[@LobotomizedLemon]

@@camilla3492 thanks

[@oaxis8198]

I want to make an Alabama joke but this is too sad D:

[@LobotomizedLemon]

@@oaxis8198 I'll allow it, it'd still be funny ^^

[@mckoolio1997]

My grandmother started showing signs of dementia 3 years ago and as it quickly progressed I would often think back to particular songs from each stage in this album. When she started asking me if I had seen her parents, whom both have been dead for 30 years, I would instantly hear the post awareness confusions track scramble around in my head from stage 4. Eventually, she would sit in front of the living room television and stare into the screen, as if looking through it and I would then think upon stage 5’s ominous tracks. She was recently placed into a nursing home and the thought of walking into her room one day and seeing a lost, forlorn expression on her face like that of the blank canvas at the end of this album, haunts me everyday. Always sit with your elders whenever you have the chance. Learn their stories and experiences for they may be swept away by this horrific disease.

[@ab1ba169]

im sorry to hear that

[@A.F.IAGENT]

I can't begin to imagine what you've been through. That was beautiful

[@Deamons64]

I dont want to forget. Jesus fuck. The thought of losing everything that makes me myself is far more terrifying than death.

[@twistedgwazi5727]

If I am gonna lose my memories, I'd rather die sooner than live without knowing who anyone is. Feeling like the world is scary and new every 10 minutes. I can't even imagine, I don't want to imagine.

[@inakie7756]

And you'll never even remember the fear you had of forgetting because you forgot

[@Lu-vw2tq]

you’d hate a dmt breakthrough then, i thought i was trapped in a never ending loop of what hell would be like while my thoughts of myself and who i was quickly faded until the experience was nothing but what i could only describe and fear and unfamiliarity

[@Deamons64]

@@Lu-vw2tq that sounds like an ego death my guy.

[@badrecords-6476]

Jesus is a virgin I think

[@DreamSweetInSea]

i love how the stage 2 is the most depressed stage because the person still have awareness of what is happening

[@kelthecommenter9127]

probably stage 3 as well, after all stage 4 is the start of the post-awareness

[@DreamSweetInSea]

@@kelthecommenter9127 for me stage 3 is more confusion, but yes, it is still a very depressing stage

[@blur_oof4953]

I think spiders are pretty spooky

[@DreamSweetInSea]

@@blur_oof4953 👻

[@blur_oof4953]

@Anjali Restrepo imagine googling Alzheimer’s Symptoms and all the links are purple.

[@WeldedHelm]

Existential horror beats to relax/chill to.

[@EASIllinois]

Beats to relax/chil/chill/chill/chill/Beats to wait why am i here again

[@caruzo9631]

there is nothing relaxing about this…

[@Alxrru]

@@caruzo9631 its calming music

[@hydrogendemon]

I listen to it a lot and will for a long time.

[@Mizelei2012]

​@@hydrogendemonDo you still listen to it? I find myself quite moved by it. I'm at stage 6 now and I do find it hard to continue. It has been quite the journey, to listen to it, read the comments, imagine what it's like.

[@carinsurance9070]

She's been gone for a few months now. She still remembered us, even in the end.

[@trashbirdie]

years!

[@SneakyInk92]

Who?

[@RabbitYT576]

She ​@@SneakyInk92

[@U-A-FTAUTTPTAYFGAATZNTTPTUTTD]

​@@RabbitYT576 Form Starvharv?

[@edgarretana8377]

My grandma has Alzheimer’s. A few weeks ago all my cousins and brother and I were sitting with my grandma trying to talk to her. One of my cousins said “you know we love you right?” And she responded with “I love you guys too I just don’t know who any of you are.” Every time I think about that moment it breaks my heart. Edit: my grandma passed away this June and my biggest regret is not being kind or treating her like a human being. When my grandma first started showing signs of dementia I was never told of her diagnosis and over time I began to hate her because she became an extremely bitter person which is normal for Alzheimer’s/dementia. I also became disgusted with my grandma because her hygiene began to slip and she would do odd things like try to clean the toilet with toilet water and wash her hands with toilet water. Once I was old enough to understand what was really going on I convinced myself that my grandma was already gone and there was no point trying to talk to her. The last week of her life I could tell she was dying and I still couldn’t muster up the courage to simply lay next to her In bed and just talk to her. Some part of me still felt disgust towards my grandma. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you grandma. After everything you did for me I’m sorry I didn’t help you when you needed me. I look back at all those times I caught you in a moment of fear and instead of calming you down I would scold you and whisper under my breathe that you were crazy. I was the one thing that kept you grounded in this crazy household and even after recognizing that, after realizing how much I could’ve helped you I still didn’t. I miss you grandma. I’m sorry for everything. I hope you forgive me. July 24, 2020

[@baconbreath1898]

I found this comment while scrolling through all of them, I really hope you and your family are okay

[@VseeAR]

This single comment almost made me cry instantly

[@woodenwinds9629]

Grommet same

[@JeyJey88-9]

This hit me like a Truck

[@imyourmaster77]

My grandma had dementia, she couldn't recognize any of her children, but she was happy most of the time. When she passed away, my dad wasn't that sad because he said she had passed away a long time ago and her body just catched up.

[@Jessica-ee5nq]

This is the musical version of the saying: "How you are now, I was once. How I am now, you will be." - found on a gravestone.

[@rushylwashere]

shit

[@danielzeidan9022]

We may know who we are, but we know not what we may be.

[@serelii3606]

Ok i’m thoroughly confused- i was reading this and all the letters jumbled up. That was weird lol

[@Jessica-ee5nq]

@@serelii3606 Perhaps your mind is going Serelii....

[@serelii3606]

Wowliam Oh ok sorry i’m stupid 😳

[@krystofhumplik2591]

He knows he loves her, but doesn’t know why. He gets up and makes his bed, but asks who made it. He eats and drinks, but it’s his first time He walks around his house, but hasn’t he been here before? He dances with her to their song, but he can’t remember the next move. He pets his dog on the back everyday, but the feeling is always new. He sits in his room and thinks about his child, until he looks at a picture and sees 2 others he didn’t know he had. He hums his favorite tune, but will never know the name to it. He lays down for sleep, but whats the point? He just woke up after all

[@aidanbell9967]

Holy shit

[@opal9583]

@@aidanbell9967 this is my reaction to everything this video is showing me

[@mintymandu895]

It’s fucked when you see someone who’s life is this everyday and u see them stumble through it everyday

[@chaosphantom9071]

A slight silver lining, at least the feeling of petting his dog is new, that brings joy

[@sqrimm]

dude..

[@lessthanthreemetal]

6:24:35 is genuinely the most emotional moment in music history. If you've listened to the entire piece up to that point, there are no words to describe how it makes you feel.

[@THIAGO_247]

I really like that part because it represents a really rare condition in dying patients of Dementia called "Terminal Lucidity", where a patient, before dying, remembers everything about their life, including names of people, places, things about the past. And then after that short moment of lucidity, death.

[@Mizelei2012]

You're so right.

[@raccoonwithamullet]

my worst fear is to develop dementia and forget my husband, my parents, my friends and myself. i’d rather die young than live a long life only to forget it all.

[@jota-010]

me too

[@littlemissemila1818]

Me too

[@bobzmuda3940]

ive always said i dont wanna live past the point of being uncomfortable

[@GrimSleepy]

@@bobzmuda3940 mid-20s to 30s? Lol.

[@GrimSleepy]

Forgetfulness isn't my fear of demential/alzheimer's. Coming to a fleeting moment of clarity to realize you have no idea where you are, or how you got there, then to fade back into the tumultuous din of our mindscape, that would be terrifying to me.

[@wizerdspell]

My grandfather has dementia. He can't remember anything, but whenever I come over and say hi to him, he still smiles at me. He hasn't forgotten how to be happy. He hasn't forgotten to love. He is a great person. He will always be in my heart. -Edit: he has sadly passed away a couple of months ago. It was devastating to my family. We will always remember him. I’m sorry for not updating the comment for a couple of months, because I had other priorities. Rest in paradise grandpa.

[@Willsand5]

My grandfather is slipping badly. He lives many states away and I know i will most likely never see him again. When i spoke to him on the phone recently he was able to remember my name, but was very lost and scrambled many things up. I can only imagine what both of our grand dads are going through right now.

[@spythere]

My grandfather died two years ago and also had dimentia but fortunately for him, it was only very severe for about a year before he died. On his last days he still remembered me but was very confused and aggressive towards everybody, wanted us to just leave him alone. Sadly, my grandma who still lives also has the first symptoms of dimentia and keeps forgetting stuff she said one minute ago, yet she's in some kind of loop and recalls irrelevant topics about her past at the same time like it just happened.

[@cyberruins9241]

To everybody here: Please, don’t worry. Your loved ones are in a better place. They wouldn’t want you to be sad. I’ll pray for you all.🙏🏻

[@pawwier2472]

I understand your pain man. My grandpa has dementia as well, but that's not the worst part. When I was much younger like 5-6 I always thought he was a bad guy because he was trying to look after the best way he could, and now after 2 years after he got diagnoised with dementiahe can barely walk. And the saddest thing is I'll tell him I'm sorry for what I've done but he won't understand it. And now me, my grandma and my dad are trying to take the best care of him as we can.

[@user-mizuhashi]

@@cyberruins9241 that really doesn't help considering heaven is a lie

[@jneto2047]

That’s my worst nightmare, imagine, forgetting who you are, who you love, who loves you, what do you like, what do you dislike, forgetting you best moments and your worst moments, forgetting family, friends, love interests, hobbies, forgetting yourself

[@Hayter200]

Who... am I? I do not remember...

[@SmujdoesStuff]

kinda deep ngl, m8. but yeah, that does seem quite depressing.

[@HanShiru]

Had a conversation with some of my friends and this comment is something relatable, we are discussing on what if we are reincarnated. Losing all of our memory in the pass life, losing everything you know in the pass life and you couldn't help but crying. And as all babies do, they cried after their born, struggling to remember everything like everything the baby do in the past life but couldn't help other than cying . Though this is not real, just some spontaneous conversation we had. Babies cry because they are exposed to cold air and a new environment. But yea, once again just some little fun conversation we have. But yea just sharing nonsense I'm just bored. Anyways, have a great life enjoying and spend time together with your love ones.

[@HAndlecontainsWsa]

I guess im questioning why do i exist?

[@isdrakon9802]

I have something worse, never getting even close to that point and even perhaps if you did you actually don't lose anything

[@seabassU1]

Before I started listening to this, I was mentally not okay. I was just extremely dissociated. I came across a video which reminded me of this album. I've always been interested in the human mind and how it works. I never new much about dementia, I knew it was the memory degrading, but never put much thought into it. I sat down and listened to this at around 3am. I was enjoying the first stage, brought me out of the state I was in, then the 2nd, I thought it was also really good, the 3rd... I knew something was wrong... but I didn't know what. Then the 4th, I realized that it is so much more, the horrors of this disease, I started reading the comments, so many people have seen this happen. the 5th was just be wasting time with it in the background, periodically thinking of how bad it would be to experience this. When the 6th came, I didn't know what to think. It was just silence, the silence of the mind just trying to hold on to anything left. Then, Terminal lucidity. It was the death, the grand finale, what the brain could amalgamate from the recesses of the broken mind. What's left of the terror from the void expanding. Then... nothing. The last 5 minutes was the worst part. During all of this, I think I've found my worst fear. I never cared about being forgotten, but forgetting everything, is SO much worse. After it was all over, I listen back to A1. I almost cried, and I don't cry much. Thinking back to the final stages, that fact that this song was apart of what was disfigured, reconstructed, and forgotten, it was horrible. The fact that I could listen back, and someone who experiences this cannot, makes it so much worse. It was good though, but almost had an existential crisis.

[@solev657]

Dementia is horrific

[@jacobritter2173]

This album is horrifying, this is the first time I actually gave thought to the sheer terror of Alzheimer's or dementia. Losing who you are as a person just seems like such a terrible way to die.

[@duckscitomaster1308]

that’s why it’s better to just die right now while i still remember

[@spicypancake104]

Indeed, dying of Alzheimer’s or dementia must be a horrible way to leave this planet.

[@jobe_seed6674]

I’m putting a 1911 to my head and blowing my brains out if I get dementia

[@duckscitomaster1308]

@@jobe_seed6674 i’m going to bomb downtown

[@rileywalauski200]

Try feeling like you never made a identity

[@exotellurian]

the vast majority of people will eventually be forgotten after they die, which is an extremely scary thought, but to forget yourself while still alive is far more terrifying.

[@marrakesh_3589]

I know I'm gonna be forgotten

[@exotellurian]

@@marrakesh_3589 it's just the natural course of things, everyone, even prominent figures in history, will be forgotten at some point. it's sad for sure, being forgotten is a real fear many people have, but everyone changes the world in some way, even by just existing, even when they are forgotten.

[@pinkmonkeybird2206]

@Alex hate to break it to ya bud, but lifes a one way ticket

[@krispo7256]

@Alex so that means that your current life is meaningless and, ¿what's the point of doing anything if when you die you go to a better life

[@zarthy4169]

Alex Even if there is an afterlife, it can still be scary that at some point, no one in the real world will remember you. You won’t matter anymore there.

[@bunbunbunny4501]

i told my gramps about this because my grams has dementia and he said “Many beautiful things are sad.”

[@owencole5774]

Tell your gramps that he is a wise man.

[@nightshiftts]

Hey there! I make video edits for your fav songs/movies and would appreciate any feedback i can get! kzbin.info/www/bejne/fZS6mZRroZiFobM

[@DavidTheBrain_]

@@nightshiftts are you serious

[@kenmakozume4861]

@@nightshiftts This isnt the time to be promoting that

[@liteimation4013]

@@kenmakozume4861 He's a bot

[@captaincave5907]

For the past few years, my grandmother has been slowly deteriorating with dementia. She's still in the early stages- she still has her long term memory, she remembers the words for things and still lives at home with my grandfather- but unfortunately, it's becoming more and more apparent every time I see her. Her short term memory has gone, so we'll have the same conversations again and again, with her forgetting what was said five minutes ago. If she's in a new place, she becomes incredibly confused and disorientated. But it's the small things that are difficult too. She always tells me how much I've grown since the last time I saw her, despite the fact that I haven't grown in around 4 years. She's forgotten how old my sister and I are. Last Christmas, she got lost in the house that my family- mainly her daughter (my mum) and my dad- have been living in for nearly 30 years. When it gets slightly dark outside, she immediately panics and insists that my grandfather drives home "while there's still some light." We know that it's not going to get better. As the youngest in my family, I know that I'll probably be the first one to be forgotten. My mum is absolutely petrified of developing dementia after watching her mother's develop, and has actually gone as far as to say that she doesn't want to live if she's diagnosed with it in the future. I can't blame her, watching my grandmother, who was this intelligent, hilarious and incredibly organised person, slowly slip away has been the most difficult thing I've ever had to see in my life. Dementia is so cruel. It's why I'm so grateful this album exists, as it just shows the horror of that gradual decline and helps me understand just a tiny bit of what is happening to my grandmother now. I just hope that, one day, she'll remember and be happy again.

[@pietero.o6792]

thanks for sharing your story, you are not alone in this

[@cai1726]

my grandmother has dementia. she doesn’t even know i exist now. i use to be annoyed when she would try to teach my little cousins my name, but now- i would do anything in the world for her to remember it again. i cry just at the thought of our walks on the beach and when we sewed together. i remember all of it, but all she can do is look at me kindly trying not to be rude because she forgot about me.

[@ash_tray]

Oh this broke my heart. I have never had an experience with dementia. I thought it was just losing things and not knowing what day it was but after listening to this and reading the comments I’m terrified and heartbroken...

[@cai1726]

@@ash_tray it’s ok, she is still happy and that’s all i care about :)

[@HutchHere]

This comment section is beatiful. Several comments have made me cry. Dementia is much more than forgettings someones name, it's forgetting who they are. i wish you the best.

[@nixisreal]

Yea my dads Mom died with dementia.. she couldnt Even remember who me my brother or my Dad was..🙁

[@hossambekheet5465]

@@nixisreal that's messed up forgetting who your son is and who your grandchildren are that's terrifying and the fact that she died probably still not knowing you is so sad poor you hope you are doing well

[@stephanemery3983]

I work at a retirement home and we have a wing specialized in dementia and Alzheimer's disease. Some of them are in the first phase and some are somewhere else. Hard to tell. There is laughs, screams, tears, life. They are people. You end up liking them, getting used to the disease, the habits. And sometimes, you have a day off. Then you are back and the person you were laughing with, talking, eventually cracking some jokes is gone. That person is right in front of you, clinically alive but looking into their eyes you must admit you lost them. They are definitely gone. Somewhere at the end of their own time..

[@outthewindow8565]

It must be so painful to go through that

[@polarnightu]

christ...

[@Messier__]

I'm sorry

[@anthony082871]

CV G cf vvv by

[@MH-mw5cx]

My grandma has alzheimer (she made 98 years this week). the last time i saw her before the quarantine she was thinking that my dead grandpa was alive and that my Father still was a Child,Sometimes she packed her bags and start saying that she will go away because there was not her place. im brazilian so i apologize if i pronnuced something wrong

[@kevandre]

It's not hard to understand how Robin Williams, noticing the dementia setting in, would choose to end his own life rather than forget everyone he loves

[@SunSunSunn]

Makes you rethink how we should view euthanasia because it almost seems like a valid option after this video

[@purplesam2609]

I didn't actually know about that... it makes me feel a little bit better, because everyone will remember him for what he was, not what dementia would have made him be...

[@AJ_Deadshow]

Wow, why did nobody talk about that? I had no idea...

[@duasii1335]

@Lucas Robert shut the fuck up dude

[@chrissi975]

@Lucas Robert You better shut your mouth instead of talking bullshit.

[@Thundeeerzin]

If I ever had dementia, I would desperately ask to die before it reached the advanced stages. As painful as it is, I would rather die knowing who I am and where I am than being an empty shell, a body without memories, a void.

[@darinator3000]

Понимаю... Это так ужасно, ты как шестимесячный младенец, который совершенно ничего не понимает, забываешь дорогих тебе людей, и в конце остаёшься один, без воспоминаний, без мыслей, у тебя остаётся лишь отчаянное желание понять, вспомнить, но ты не можешь.. Пустота без мыслей и рассудка - вот что действительно пугает

[@stimuncy]

I'm a caregiver, I work with end stage dementia residents , so my unit is ...the last phase. Death and emptiness. A vessel. A hollow image. Seeing the effect of this disease, makes me grow closer to my patients. Spending more and more time with them, they have become my family. Listening to their speech, trying to make sense of what they're trying to say is disturbing. Watching patients trying to conversate amongst each other...it is very confusing. Seeing their old photo albums, brings light to what appears to be a distant memory. Being with them in their final moments, almost brings joy. The suffering is nearly over. I hold the hand of each resident before they pass. Whisper into their ear, and tell them that I love them. That they are not alone. (Familyy cannot visit their dying parents or grandparents, thanks coronavirus) so us "caretakers" are the last people they see or hear. Huge shout-out to the caregivers in the comments. As you continue to work in dementia, you almost adopt feelings of depression, loneliness, confusion, and emptiness. Stay strong my friends. I love you all -Bryant Est. July 10th, 1990

[@fuchsia7779]

Thank you for comforting the senile in their final moments. Your efforts are not in vain.

[@stimuncy]

@@fuchsia7779 thanks for that comment, much love

[@kalley4100]

I’m a caregiver as well. Your comment made me more hopeful about my own role in my dementia patient’s lives. You just try to make them comfortable and give them a semblance of normalcy in an otherwise confusing and hard situation. Thank you for being so kind and compassionate to those you work with. Much love.

[@stimuncy]

@@kalley4100 your comment is so powerful. It takes a special human being to be able to do what we do. Thank you so much and much love 🤘❤

[@jj-ki8yb]

This story made me shed a few tears. Very detailed

[@celestefan5731]

If you were to listen to this without any context, you'd probably be asking yourself what the hell this is. But with the context, it's just absolute dread, fear, and anguish

[@rieyza21]

Ur right, i dont understand any shit

[@rafael-qm1kt]

i actually listened to this yesterday without any context. Some friend just sent me and i started listening. At first, it was very pleasant and comforting. But some time later, songs were confusing and strange, with them just stopping abruptly. I asked a friend about the album and he told me that was an experience of simulation of dementia. I continued to listen to the album until the fifth stage when it was very disturbing and discomforting to hear. It was scary and confusing.

[@jonjared88]

@Rieyza 21 It’s to symbolize dementia, and how it gets worse overtime.

[@jar-of-bees]

@@jonjared88 bruh this is just chill lofi, all I hear at stage 5 is "this is a certified hood classic"

[@Yellowbuzz-ug6of]

@@jonjared88 I wonder if mental disorders like adhd affect the outcome, will have updated in a few hours

[@greatgallade]

My grandpa saw me once and I was with my girlfriend. He was smiling and hugged me spoke to me for a bit and talked to the elders in the nursing home. Before we left he gave me a hugged and ask "who are you again?" He knew me and recognized me. He spoke of times when I was little running to his side. I remember hearing those words and smiling telling him "I'm family" and he said "AHH. I haven't seen you in a while, you look like one of the family"

[@yahyathegameenjoyer]

Did somebody order hell? Bc that is horrifying

[@SilverBelle-dg7jk]

“Did someone order hell” 😂

[@MrBambi3190]

​@@SilverBelle-dg7jktf you laughin at

[@SilverBelle-dg7jk]

A reply in this reply section under the comment @@MrBambi3190

[@47.5melons]

Sounds like your grandpa was happy during your visit.

[@jadenelle]

My grandfather is in the early stages of dementia, he has been showing up to the doctors when they are closed, going to the bank asking for the nurse, forgetting to take his medicine. I am trying my best to learn about how to cope with family members suffering from this terrible disease.

[@OliverWilley]

Damn my grandma also has dementia and she can't even recognize herself let alone someone like her son😢

[@mrgentleman1435]

It must be horrible to pass away empty, scared, not knowing what’s going on, with a bunch of strangers crying around you. It really hurts seeing somebody with dementia and how worried, confused, and frightened they are.

[@svagggs2821]

It breaks my heart,,, Thinking of that makes me so upset.

[@shart7660]

my girlfriend has dementia still remembers last year she caught me with another girl 😳😔

[@pandapumkin]

the worst part is a lot of time, moments before death, they tend to suddenly remember everything

[@chieludz]

Yeah its really terrifying to know if you even existed or not or like just the thought of confusion..and nothingness.

[@binhtran5420]

@@pandapumkin omg this is horrible

[@k1ll3r-xza]

Could you just imagine waking up in a strange location just, not knowing where you are, who you are, who you know, who you love? That's terrifying as shit.

[@cj-zardakabruhpedia4557]

Brother/sister, you don't wake up suddenly like this, your memories slowly extinguish like a lighter slowly losing more and more fuel, producing more sparks than flames at times and becoming increasingly slower. At least thats how it felt with my granny..

[@k1ll3r-xza]

@@cj-zardakabruhpedia4557 yeah ik that, but still it happens at a certian stage and I bet it is the scariest shit

[@cj-zardakabruhpedia4557]

@@k1ll3r-xza thats what is honestly the scariest abt it but when it comes to that stage, i think that those afflicted, tho unknowingly, try to combat it at first but eventually give in and go through that terrified but not surprised

[@redbread458]

Might happen when you accidentally wake up at the opposite side of the bed.

[@yeaaaaaaaaaaahff]

this is my worst fear in the world, losing all of my memories, everything, like someone cast obliviate and i've forgotten everything from myself, my family members, everyone i've ever met, everything i've learned, all the photographs i've taken...all gone

[@coremasterr214]

This song made me realise, that since i'm the youngest child, ill go to my parent's, sibling's funerals, but the same family won't go to mine...

[@nfdl8534]

God why did you say this

[@katitherat]

Well that's not always the case, my grandmas oldest brother is still alive although hes watched his two siblings die, god come to think of it that must be fucking awful...

[@semidecent4395]

If your siblings are as stubborn as mine, they’ll be lots of ghosts at your funeral cause they’ll never leave ya alone

[@colesweed]

hehe you never know

[@_Simon]

we will have our own family by then, but same. This video is so depressing.

[@fujicakes_]

My grandma was an awesome person. She loved me and my twin brother like nobody’s business, and was a kind soul. About three years ago, she was diagnosed with dementia, but since I live in Florida and she lived in Pennsylvania, I rarely saw her; once or twice a year if I was lucky. Most of what I heard of her declining condition was through my dad’s phone calls with his siblings. Stuff like her putting her hearing aids in the microwave, wandering off into the street, that kind of stuff. She ended up going to a nursing home because of her declining condition about a year later. Things didn’t go too bad, or so I thought, until the last time I ever saw her, this March during spring break. I was up there mainly to visit my older brother (aka my best friend in the whole world) but my mom wanted to see my grandma, so we decided to surprise her with milkshakes! So one faithful afternoon, with the temperature in the mid 20’s, we went to the nursing home to see how she was doing, milkshakes in hand. I knew that she had declined, but I didn’t think it would have been as bad as it was. When I saw her, she felt as if she was a husk of what she once was. She was very hard of hearing, and my mom had to speak loudly so she could just nearly hear her. She also couldn’t remember anybody at all. Not my mom, not my brother, not even her own children. However, she did remember me, only faintly. Like a person you may have seen once or twice in your entire life. In addition, she was very skinny and her hair was completely gray, which was odd to me because her hair was dyed blonde usually. When me and my mom tried to get her off the couch onto her walker, she nearly fell over. I was horrified. Tears streaming down my face. Nothing felt right. The point that broke me was when I decided to get a big book of poems out of the activity closet and started to read it. An old woman walked up to me and smiled. She was pretty confused, but had what seemed like a permanent look of joy on her face, smiling and telling jokes. She would talk to people who weren’t there, and ask things over and over again. Anyway, she walked up to me as I was reading and smiled at me. She said something along the lines of, “I love your hat…!” And “You are so pretty! You remind me of someone very close to me…” I didn’t pay attention to this for a few minutes, until it finally struck me. This old, sweet lady with her mind fogged by confusion, thought I was her young daughter, reading poems to her. A time long past. I started to cry, tears nearly landing on the pages of the book. Anyway, I said my final goodbyes to my Grandma, and she started to sleep in her room. I don’t know if she heard my goodbye, but I really hope she did. Less than a month later, I got the news. The news that she had passed away. She had passed away in the early hours of the morning on my 15th birthday, which was like the final nail in the coffin. I would have cried, but I didn’t. She was so long gone at that point that I didn’t know what to grieve. She was given hourly doses of morphine at the time of her death to help with her pain and stuff, which is just a horrific thought, and an even more horrific way to go. I don’t remember who originally said it, but somebody on KZbin said something along the lines of: “Having dementia isn’t forgetting where your keys are or who somebody is, it’s forgetting what keys are and what a person is.” I will miss you now and forever, Grammy Amber. October 28th, 1928 - April 7th, 2024 Your beloved Granddaughter, Morgan

[@granniestack822]

i had a similar experience as you in around 2022. im from florida and my grandfather with alzheimer's in georgia. i also saw him only about 1-2 times a year. listening to this music and reading the comments pains me that i hadn't thought anything of his death. i got the news december 23 or 24th, and i let it off as some kind of joke because it was almost christmas. i was at the funeral, completely tearless. my cousin was crying after the funeral, and i now understand why. i remember going up to him, my parents having to introduce me every time, and after my name was said, my grandfather kept saying in his happy voice "oh, i know who you are!" i still dont know if he was lying to make me feel better or if he really remembered me. maybe he had a faint memory of me coming over or maybe thought of me as my cousin who visited him multiple times a week. he was a great guy, i just hadn't known him very long.

[@Karori514]

Although people don’t realize it, forgetting is the scariest thing that could happen to you. All your efforts, loved ones, and passions gone to waste through forgetting. You’re surrounded by people you’re supposed to know, but you know none of them. The thought of that will terrify you, only to reset once you forget you’re supposed to know these people around caring for you. It’s now a constant loop of emotional and physical pain, until you inevitably lose everything.

[@kmelons]

It's terrifying. Stage 5 was when I came to this realization; it's depressing, and scary. It's chaos, and confusion. Stage 6 is the bitter defeat, the acceptance that you've already lost everything. There's no hope.

[@samz4860]

Yet it is in some cases a gift

[@kmelons]

@@samz4860 Why is that? I would hate to forget everything I've ever known. It's just pain to me, and to my loved ones

[@samz4860]

@@kmelons imagine having to remember extremely bad memories, I said in *some* cases not all, and those some cases like having memories of being raped, war, shooting, losing loved ones, it hurts

[@kmelons]

@@samz4860 I suppose you're right, I would want to forget those completely. But you also lose everything wonderful in life. It's scary to think about.

[@qu1nn.r]

the only thing I imagine while listening to this is rotting in a nursing home and staring at the ceiling

[@missioncontrol4662]

I can’t help but imagine that now oh no

[@aleys8044]

that’s so sad

[@jaydennn9167]

Aley S really sad

[@AM__-mf4md]

or rotting in a nursing home rocking in a chair as you look out the window far a distance waiting patiently for one of your kids, grand kids to come but they never and you all old people slowly walking around as your eyes are on the window waiting for your kids car to pull up each day just wasting your self as you get skinner and weaker slowly dying waiting... then you take your last breath and slowly let go...

[@softlyxo8252]

ice. sinz I- I hope this never happens

[@CupoChinoMusic]

Dementia is just horrifying. First you start forgetting about things in the past, then forget about simple things, then you start forgetting about your friends and family, and even everything around you. Then you forget how to live.

[@fia318]

bro this finna make me cry because i know someone who’s gone through it and i was right there with her to try and help. it was awful. i could never blame her for what happened. it wasn’t her fault. she wasn’t in her right mind.

[@ozzy8494]

Its so sad because my great grandma died of dementia. She was a great gal and was so fun to be around. She was found dead in her house one morning and she also suffered from paranoia and lived in the middle of the woods because she thought everyone was out to get her. She had LOTS of doctor’s appointments to go to, but thought the doctor was out to get her too so she refused to go. I love her so much. 😢❤️

[@alexanderruskulis7461]

@@AmadorJuarez2024 Alzheimer’s disease is the most common type of dementia which is a broad category of brain diseases that cause a long-term and gradual decrease in the ability to think and remember.

[@alexanderruskulis7461]

I think dementia is worst form of suffering a human can experience. Imagine you were in a hospital as a geriatric dementia patient. You are in a world of agony. You try to figure out what is going on, who is around you, and what is anything but you can’t and you are frustrated and in a state of panic . You are experiencing intense joint pain and other aches all at once for the first time because you don’t remember having them before and all the years of you adapting to aging body are forgotten. You see complete strangers around you sticking sharp objects into you, injecting unknown liquids, putting unknown things in your mouth, taking away the thing you’re wearing you can’t remember the name of and taking the foul smelling substances that, what’s it called? your body? produces. Sometimes they wash you with, uh, water you think it’s called and it is incredibly discomfortable because you are forced to experience it against your will. You only know suffering because you can no longer remember or imagine a world outside the pain and confusion you are feeling at the moment. You feel so alone but you are not even aware of the concept of human connection since everyone you have ever met are strangers to you that you can barely (if at all) understand and can barely (if at all) communicate to. You can’t even thrash or throw fits because your body is too weak to do so. Not only are you imprisoned in an unknown room, you are trapped in a body that barely move. You can’t even receive the bliss of accepting that the rest of your life is going to be just suffering (like many prisoners who in the past faced torture and execution), and there’s nothing you can do but accept it, since you are perpetually experiencing this suffering for the first time forever. You can’t even hope for death to eventually put you out of your misery since you might not even know of such a concept anymore or the immediate shock of experiencing immense suffering is the only thing you can feel and notice at the moment. For all you know, you will suffer forever, if you still can even imagine what forever is. Hell, you can’t even think in the long term since all you know is the suffering you’re feeling at the moment. Hopefully, you will die before the cognitive degeneration gets too extreme as I’ve described it, yet keep in mind, even if the suffering is not the most physically agonizing experience you can have, there is a point in which you lose all frame of reference, where you can’t imagine a worse form of suffering nor a world without suffering -you only would know the agony of the moment.

[@alexanderruskulis7461]

@@sdsdpopo I think you should read my post, it only scratches the surface of it (I completely leave out memory entanglements and ruptures and just the general idea of experiencing memories as unclear hallucinations that confuse and terrify you further) but it is undoubtedly scary. The feeling of helplessness would be nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

[@Leedope]

6:24:50 The sudden presence of undistorted music after the total chaos and emptiness for most of stage 6 feels like we are reminded that this was a person with full memory recall and emotions displaying unique experiences and personality, and for one moment we are given some semblance of it returning. One last glimpse at the soul before it departs, gave me shivers.

[@flandrescarlet506]

It's likely a manifestation of terminal lucidity, a phenomenon in terminally ill patients where they gain a sudden moment of clarity shortly before death. I interpret this section as the person finally remembering memories from their life through a song which touched their heart shortly before they die.

[@hiveschives]

My grandmother has dimentia and all my life whenever we would visit each other she would tell me I'm beautiful. Growing up I just thought it was Grandma being Grandma. But recently I realized that she always meant it, because she still tells me I'm beautiful even though I'm a complete stranger to her now. It goes to show how much of a kind individual she is and always has been. Last time I saw her she had a really cute moment with my grandfather at lunch: she was complaining about how she doesn't have a boyfriend and my grandfather said "I'll be your boyfriend." She looked so happy and flattered and it looked like Grandpa was happy to just make her smile. I can't imagine how he must have felt in that moment though, knowing the person you've been married to for decades had forgotten that entire relationship.

[@Puppet____]

At least she still loves him, even thought she doesn't remembers it. She's so polite too :)

[@MusicTheoryLover]

Aww… I’m very sorry for you. That moment was kind of sad but mostly cute, I wish you the best of kudos out there for sharing you’re story :)

[@A_random_boy]

What a beautiful story I am not crying, you are crying **snifs**

[@elainethompson9057]

My grandmother has dementia and before it got bad my family all 6 of us would go visit her in the nursing home and play snakes and ladders with her and I would bring my toy cat collection. But then she started to get worse and started to forget and not remember us. First few of us would visit her at the same time and then just my Mam. With covid and not seeing her she has definitely forgotten us now. I was pretty young when she went into the nursing home so I don't rly have any memories of her at her home with grandad or her when she was rly herself which makes me so upset

[@classicalsheetmusic1986]

@@elainethompson9057 Your story is really depressing. I can not imagine not knowing how your grandma actually was as a person. I have never met my grandfather, because he died before I was born. But I'm glad that he died before I came into the world, instead of him being alive and slowly forgetting who I was.

[@LazyCatIsFat]

The slow decline my Grandfather had with his dementia was terrifying. He couldn't even remember my Dad, who was in the hospital, dying from cancer.

[@TuMadre8000]

jesus christ

[@TuMadre8000]

no but actually that's horrible, i'm sorry

[@higherquality]

jesus christ

[@DarkBear]

sad

[@nolaz010]

Imagine having to be repeatedly told your child has cancer, and you’re hearing it for the first time every time. That’s horrifying.

[@dianamaldonado5124]

stage one: why y’all talking bout dementia i’m over here scrolling through the comments cuz i’m bored stage four: how does that do that i feel like i’m in my brain

[@miranda8826]

i'm in stage 5 and i had such a hard time reading this..

[@ewitsophelia5677]

im on A2

[@kileystinson7626]

wait so i’m not the only one who has a headache

[@yoomob]

lmao frl

[@alexaestrada5]

Dementia