Was Homicide of Sleeping Husband Self-Defense? | Helen Naslund Case Analysis

This video answers the question: Can I analyze case of Helen Naslund?
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[@sarahw7616]

Everyone in the community believed Helen murdered her husband, yet no one cared lol.

[@meganed666]

It scares me how much this sounds like my first relationship at the start, especially the part where she said she was scared of him but felt sorry for him.. I’m so glad my situation ended differently, and i’m now happily married for 3 years with my loving husband 🥰

[@ladyreverie7027]

I think you have understated Miles' violence. The article that you used as evidence for this story is the same one I read where it explains that she tried to leave, was brutally beaten and was also told if she left Miles would murder neighbours and her children. Also the fact that her relationship with Miles "wasn't always violent" doesn't matter, most abusive relationships are like that. It's what creates a trauma bond.

[@Mrs.LadeyBug]

⬆️ This!!! ⬆️

[@Linda98671]

I agree with you. Abuse is abuse and it is horrid to live in that situation.

[@joanneandrews7707]

I totally agree. I believe if she tried to leave him, he would stalk her and if she dared to have a new relationship, he would have killed under the old “if I can’t have you, no one can have you”. If she tried to kill him with the gun when he was awake, he would have overpowered her and we’d be talking about her death instead. No one tried looking for him and no one cared he was dead. That says a lot.

[@dandrummond9154]

Level of violence is mostly irrelevant if you are not in imminent danger other options must be used until that point. If she was free to get a gun and fire it into his head, she was free to use other methods.

[@josephlees2727]

As someone who had a drunk father similar to Miles, murder is never justified. Perpetuating a cycle of violence because someone is indecent isn't right and the lengths she went towards after the murder make me sick. Nobody should be killed the way Miles was, gunshots to the back of the head are practically erasing ones very essence of their being. Her drunkenness and her sons compliance just spell this out as a tragic case for all. Yet, in the case of those psychos going on normally after murder makes me believe they oughta lock her along with that freak of a son she has up and throw away the key.

[@rullmourn1142]

So one of her sons started telling other people about the murder. Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead-----Benjamin Franklin.

[@valeriegadsden7898]

I use the Benjamin Franklin quote and live by it!!! I tell all my secrets & concerns to Jesus🙌🏽-He never betrays, never repeats my indiscretions or throw them back in my face👍🏼❤️

[@Mrs.LadeyBug]

This is the first time that I question your analysis. The results and responses of trauma from an abusive relationship is hard, if not impossible, to wrap one’s head around if one hasn’t seen it up close and personal.

[@misszsazsa6288]

This happened in a small farming community in Alberta? People in that province can generally be described as caring people. In a small community, everyone knows everybody and all about their family life. When her husband disappeared, everyone probably thought it was a good thing for his wife and boys because their abuse would end. I feel for this woman since she had reached her breaking point of life with this man. If I had been on the jury, I'd have set her free.

[@rayross997]

I didn't diagnose myself this morning, I just speculated that I would be watching a Dr. Grande video today and look what happened. 🤓

[@bonniegeppert3912]

This is a tough one. Helen was in a no win situation. Helen had been battered and in fear for her life for so many years it came to a point where she must have felt there was no way out. Not justifying what she did, just speculating of what might have been happening at the time. She clearly was not rationally thinking, like all of us Monday morning quarterbacks. This was years of abuse and clearly poor choices on her part marrying him, buying property and having children with him that tied her closer to a terrible situation where she saw no exit. In context, she killed him the evening he threw wrenches at her, pointed a gun at her and her son among other terrifying acts that threatened the life of her and her child and we are surprised the night of one of the most traumatic events she experienced from this crappy husband she ends his life? What she should have done in retrospect was not her reality. You as a behavioral health professional should know this. No one is saying murder was the answer but it seems to me they both paid for their crimes. Lesson here is be careful how you treat the people that you are supposed to love as there could be unfortunate consequences for those actions. It may not be what is legal or what is right but it is a reality.

[@theresabromar5415]

I believe that you summed up the situation better than Dr. Grande. Thank you for your insightful comments.

[@juneyshu6197]

Good speculation there!

[@Nevermore694]

Yes. And the mental health progressional that declared no battered woman syndrome made a mistake. I don’t think I need to explain why. As for being pushed over the edge, threatening to kill her son with a gun would be my last straw…it’s easy to say she had options…truth is, with someone as dangerous as her husband, you certainly can’t count on authorities to protect you or expose relatives and friends (if you’ve been allowed any) to the extreme and imminent danger.

[@szendrich]

You are so right. Thank God there are still people like you and I who go beyond the psychology books that make people like Dr. Grande think they know it all and are in a position to play God. I wrote a long comment above describing my own abusive situation, which makes me a better authority at understanding this poor woman than the likes of Dr. Grande or the so called experts that said she doesn't show battered woman syndrome. What crap! Thank you for your very insightful comment.

[@JenMaxon]

I'm glad you said that. You are quite right

[@littleeva]

The fact that no one in the area seemed to care was very interesting. If her son had never said anything, she would have gotten away with the murder.

[@daliakuwait]

"Perhaps when Helen wakes up and remembers how she murdered her husband, welded his body into a metal box, and submerged it into a reservoir, she will feel more comfortable about his chances of coming back and harming her." I don't know how Dr. G delivers these lines with a straight face. Amazing. 😅😅

[@drea4195]

Battered Wife Syndrome. Pretty classic example. You can say she had other options, but in her mind at that time, she did not have the ability to see and judge how to go about being "free of Miles" differently. Battered spouses do not have to be in danger at *that very moment*, to still believe their lives are in danger if they don't stop their abuser "now".

[@munichgirl2514]

Exactly, being in a abusive relationship & in constant fear of your life & your kids life that’s no life , it’s torture …!!! You’ve been robbed of a normal life

[@hot-pink-beast]

This!! If someone has threatened you and is so controlling that you wouldn’t be able to actually get away from them + you would be at v high homicide risk, then your life is in danger always. Especially that things had escalated in the days prior and he had been violent at the dinner table

[@vladimirputindreadlockrast812]

This reminds me of the case of the '49er back in '58, who drove his horse and wagon from the hills to the docks to pick up his mail order bride. He helped her onto the wagon, then proceeded east, back to his mountain. Somewhere along the way, the horse bucked. "That's one," said the '49er, never deviating from his line of sight. His bride looked at him quizzically. Half way up the mountain. the horse bucked a second time. "That's two," he said. Again, his new bride looked at him expecting an explanation, but none was forthcoming. Finally, as they pulled onto his property nestled high up in the rarefied atmosphere of the Sierra Nevada, the horse bucked a third time. "That's three," said the mountain man, who pulled out a shotgun and dispatched his horse with it. The new bride, unable to contain her outrage, unleashed a barrage of verbal reprimand. "How could you do such a thing to that poor horse? You're a monster!" "That's one."

[@BigZebraCom]

By the way, there was a strange precedent in Canadian Law. It's a bit of an exaggeration to call it a 'precedent' but the case is described in a book called "Life with Billy'. It's about a nightmare of a man who is killed by his wife after years of abuse. It set the 'battered woman defence' firmly in Canadian Law. She was acquitted of murder, the prosecution appealed, and a plea deal was reached for 6 months for a guilty plea of manslaughter.

[@teddyjackson1902]

Disgusting. No telling how many men have been slaughtered under this auspices. Reminds me of other malignancies in Canadian justice including the case covered in Dear Zachary.

[@kuritheking]

@@teddyjackson1902 idk what in your dumbass pea brain makes you think I don’t have every right to beat down my abuser… hope you don’t get your ass kicked by your next partner I guess Then again you’re probably firmly and permanently single so 😅

[@herrguru4264]

It`s good that she was jailed. She had many options. At the time of the shooting, she was not in danger. He was sleeping. She shot him dead for revenge, and then pretended that it was "self-defense". *Imagine what would happen, if a man saw his wife sleeping, and then decided to shoot 2 bullets into her head, because "he was abused by his wife for many years". He would certainly go to prison.*

[@teddyjackson1902]

@@kuritheking happily married. I’ve just seen too many true crime episodes where sociopathic or psychopathic women attempt to use the bias in the justice system to commit summary executions of often incapacitated or otherwise defenseless individuals. That’s not defense. It’s murder.

[@sukijay4990]

I’ve heard of worse crimes where a serial criminal was jailed for less time than Helen, so this seems fair to me. At a young age she was hounded by a controlling man into a marriage she didn’t really want. The psychological damage he would have done to her for all those years with his bullying would have been immense. In her weakened mental state she probably saw no means of escape and so shot him dead. I’m sure his death would have left her with such a sense of peace and relief, in fact I bet prison would feel like heaven in comparison to life with him. Maybe bullying, controlling people need to understand that their victims might one day fight back.

[@theresabromar5415]

Yes, I hope that one day every battered woman wakes up and realizes that she DOES NOT have to take his abuse for one minute longer. What these battered women need is an equal playing field AND courage

[@theresabromar5415]

Thank God, Helen was able to equal the playing field - and that was with a gun. She would have never been free of his abuse if didn't arm herself. Remember: God made man and woman. Smith & Wesson made them equal.

[@lisaa.4667]

I think she killed him due to fear and anger, with the latter the more powerful motivator because she shot him while he was sleeping. This does appear to be second degree murder. I wonder if drinking played a role. It was mentioned that she was drinking after she killed him, and her worn appearance could reflect years of alcohol abuse. Whatever the motivation, murder isn't an answer. Involving one's son in the killing is even worse.

[@alb5801]

I do believe you exaggerate…no known serial killers get less than 18 years….maybe a “suspected serial killer” who is only convicted in 1 case.

[@sukijay4990]

@@alb5801 I didn’t say serial killers, I said serial criminals. Pedophiles, r*pists, dv perpetrators - they serve a few years in jail and then they are released to commit the same crimes again and again. This woman won’t kill anyone else so eight years for shooting a mentally abusive husband seems pretty consistent to me in an inconsistent legal system.

[@barbarafontaine8285]

As a woman who stayed in an abusive relationship for 47 years, I ‘’’’understand’’’’ why women such as Hellen choose to do what they do. Until one experiences their abuse one will never understand why. Every case is different and we should not judge one another.

[@lilyrrichard236]

Thanks Dr G! I really appreciate when you spotlight cases I haven't heard about. Helen went to a lot of trouble covering her crime. Too bad loose lips sink ships lol.

[@pikhy]

Wishing you and your family a delightful holiday and health and happiness throughout 2023! Thank you for adding interest to my daily life. Your consistency is inspirational!

[@MyDyerMaker]

gay

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

“Sometime after the commission of his callous, colorful, and contemptuous canine cooking condemnation, Miles passed out. Cognizant that her culinary critic husband was catching some z’s…” 😅😂😄 I just love this. My two cents on this case- I think when she shot her husband, she was not seeking any justice but rather revenge. Her bitterness and resentment towards him prompted her to seek an eye for an eye resolution. I personally don’t believe in this type of “justice.” I understand her pain but she had other ways to escape Miles. Fantastic review of this intriguing case! Thank you, Dr. Grande.❤

[@theresabromar5415]

No, she evidently did NOT have another way of escaping. I applaud what she did. It took courage and determination. Good for her.

[@valeriegadsden7898]

👏🏼💯

[@Mrs.LadeyBug]

Perhaps it was not motivated by revenge or justice, but by fear that if he was alive, she and her sons would always be in danger?

[@painterlynne]

He probably wouldn’t let her go. The abuse must have been horrible for her sons to agree to cover it. I’m sure they were victims too. Rather than let it be an example to people that they might get off easy - let it be an example to the abuser 😉

[@alisiabakerjb]

If I was a juror, I would have reasonable doubt.

[@paulv6910]

"Indecently offering an indignity to human remains", it seems that's the law specifically for those who help someone bury a body but didn't help with the actual murdering. Now "The kind of friend who'd help bury a body", has a particular measure; going to jail for (potentially) 3 years is the amount of friendship that that is. That seems like a lot of friendship.

[@BigZebraCom]

Just a reminder, I'm not diagnosing anybody in this video; only speculating what could be happening when a snoozing husband takes a bullet to his Canadian noggin like this.

[@gloriaelmore9092]

There is a powerful power balance...abuse escalates. I'm glad she is free of him.

[@theresabromar5415]

In no way is Dr. Grande correct in his assessment of this case. It's easy to see that he has never been beaten by a man for 30 years! A man can repeatedly batter the innocent woman or child - and here that's what Miles did. Do you think that was "fair". I applaud Helen for taking action against such a malicious man. I would have found her not guilty because she was protecting herself in the only way possible. If she would have tried to shoot him while he was facing her, he would have certainly grabbed the gun from her and shot her. ** Remember ** God made man and woman. Smith & Wesson made them equal.

[@shameronstar7220]

I think he tries to approach the case as objective as possible without allowing personal bias to muddle his assessment of the situation, but on another level I do see where you are coming from. Every factor definitely has to be taken into consideration.

[@pamelahaze3211]

Calamity Jane approves of this post

[@Flamsterette]

Exactly! Helen did the 100% right thing.

[@ChefSalad]

What Helen should have done was shot him in the front of the head while he was asleep, put the other gun on his lap and called the cops. She could have then told them that he was threatening to shoot her, and she shot first. They'd have had no way of knowing she was lying about the exact circumstances, and, given the local knowledge of her plight, they would have "believed" her anyway even if they'd really thought it was actually murder. He couldn't have taken the weapon this way, either, because he was asleep. It's not like a coroner can tell that someone was sleeping when they were shot dead. And, she could have shot him multiple times in the head and chest, which only would have bolstered her self-defense claims. Add in a few bruises, and she'd have been good. Not that I think that murder is a good idea, but it would have worked. If you're abusive and everyone knows it, this is always an option for the abuse victim. That's just one more reason not to be an abuser. Just get two guns, wait for them to fall asleep on the couch and take care of business.

[@shameronstar7220]

@@ChefSalad UMM…

[@gloriaelmore9092]

No, he was no danger asleep, but remember....he will wake up.....

[@benjaminc8789]

Not with 2 lead pills in the back of his head . 😅

[@ThatLadyInDallas2024]

New decor & white wall look great. 👌🏻 Big cactus looks a bit close to the table edge. 🌵

[@m.f.richardson1602]

I've thought the same thing. Knowing Dr. Grande he's doing that on purpose 😄 Peace

[@jamesbowman6925]

ANY time a woman kills an abusive husband, it is self defense-full stop. Helen was at risk as long as Miles lived. If she had tried to tried to leave, he might have killed her. If she had gotten away, she would have had to live in fear of his finding her. She did what she needed to do to protect herself. She was the hero of her own story. She should not have been prosecuted.

[@Griselda_Puppy]

Domestic abuse CAN BE a prolonged imminent threat. Just being around the abusive partner, someones life can be at risk constantly, even when they're asleep. So honestly, I agree with her sentence. Whether there were also "good times" or not, Helen didnt know when Miles was going to fly into a rage. That is the risk of unpredictability in an abusive relationship. A risk that victims can, and often do, pay for with their life. If Helen hadn't killed Miles, he likely would have killed her at some point.

[@theresabromar5415]

I totally agree with you on this one. Dr. Grande was off in his analysis.

[@steelhurricane4041]

I think when miles told her your really going pay for braking the tractor, when he fell asleep, she believed he was going to kill her that night, so she killed him fully believing it was self defense, but she knew nobody would accept that, so she tried covering up her crime. I think Miles would have killed Helen that night or shortly after, with the constant reminder of the broken tractor.

[@brianmorger2174]

If ever there is a country in the world to commit murder and suffer relative little consequences , it would be Canada. Sometimes the murderer comes through smelling maybe not like a rose, but a maple leaf.

[@stt5v2002]

If you aren’t guilty of a serious crime when you shoot a sleeping man in the head twice, then you are never guilty of a serious crime.

[@kitkatclawz]

Yes! Execution style... :/

[@cottontails9003]

What a horrible and tragic situation. I personally believe her husband was so violent.. I don't agree with violence being used but when I saw her photo, she looks years older. It seems to me the only way for Helen, too find peace was too get rid of her husband permanently. Thank you Dr Grande. Brilliant analysis, tragic outcome and informative topic.

[@bthomson]

CT - Dr. Grande always gives us food for thought! Hope this holiday season is fun for you and yours!🎄🎇🎉🎁

[@KoolT]

Yes, like she just snapped. She tried to stay BC of the child.

[@zenawarrior7442]

Hi friend....Hope all is good😊💕💚🌼🌷🌻🍭🏜

[@OhioStateBuckeyefanstuckinMI]

I’m assuming your comment would be vastly different if it was a women reportedly mistreating her husband and he shot her twice in the back of the head and then took extensive steps including coercing his son to help cover it up. While I feel sorry for what this women endured there were numerous other options that didn’t include a calculated murder and cover up. There is too much of a double standard in regards to gender and violence.

[@cottontails9003]

Thank you both. I agree with your comments. Hope you both have a Merry Christmas and a Happy and safe New Year 😜😚❤💙💙💙👍🎄🎁🎋🎋☕🌷🌷🌷..........Road Runner is that you L.D.?-

[@b3n3d1ct10n]

I found this very interesting - if she had exercised a bit more pre-meditation, rather than less, she could have woken him, shot the front of his body and claimed that she had snapped and retaliated in the face of his customary violence (his reputation in the community would have backed up this version of events). Unfortunately, I think she ended things in the only way she was able to, after her entire adult life had been blighted by his domination. I know that the Courts cannot set a precedent where taking a life is seen as legitimate, much as it would be great to make the bullies squirm. - sadly, its harder to legislate against people who wilfully destroy another person's life by smaller increments.

[@theresabromar5415]

Good insight!

[@theresabromar5415]

Good insight.

[@mamaduck9370]

Sometimes, when your world is shrunk to only one person and that person is controlling and violent, even a rationally minded person might feel an irrational plan is their only way out of the situation, but there is always another choice than cold blooded murder... Especially when the attack comes when the victim is unaware and defenceless. If law and order is abandoned, then many marriages may mercilessly end in murderous mayhem and miscarriage of justice, maybe.

[@Flamsterette]

She did the right thing.

[@kitkatclawz]

Exactly Mama Duck!

[@earlfruitbat9032]

"Born 1964" Yikes. Rough life.

[@Amanda-if1wn]

Can you review Boy in the box? Thanks for all your work!!!

[@666nenni]

My favourite time of the day is when I get to see your videos before bed.Thank you so much.Keep up the good work and Merry Christmas to you🥰

[@embluvya]

Her husband lived his life as an asshole and he died an asshole. We shouldn't condone vigilante justice but I'm certainly not weeping any tears for this guy.

[@01real1]

10:23 - 'Her husband insulted her cooking...' - Never ever do that! :-)

[@annwethenorth]

Happy Festivus Dr. Grande and friends!❄️♥️🇨🇦🥞⛄

[@Big_Tex]

Born in 1964? I was born in ‘66 and she looks old enough to be my mother! I guess I’m just beautiful.

[@perisword7918]

I was born in 1963 and that lady looks years older than me. Living on a farm with that guy took its toll.

[@QueenOfTheNorth65]

Agreed. I was born in ‘65 and she could be my grandmother.

[@figplucker3052]

Contrary to the John Denver song, life on the farm can be kind of hardscrabble

[@pamelahaze3211]

Abuse ages a person..yeah she looks over 70 years old

[@steelhurricane4041]

I guess you weren't beaten down for 30 years is more like it.

[@jackiegrice714]

I’m digging the alliteration runs Dr. Grande. In regard to the case, I think people run the risk of a bad outcome one way or another when they stay in a relationship they know toxic. Thank you for covering this one.

[@lauriejordan2716]

I am aware that nobody will agree with me and think I’m a monster. However, I am possibly the most kind hearted and empathetic person ever. Yet, after being horribly tortured and abused for 13 years, I actually prayed my ex would pass away. I can understand how this can happen. Even the domestic abuse therapist he was court ordered to see, told the Judge that he believes my life is in danger due to his inability to control his anger. Eventually 2 separate court ordered psychiatrist diagnosed him with antisocial personality disorder. A domestic abuse charity helped me and my children move out safely and get a new apartment. Yet, we still have nightmares of him hurting us. This type of abuse can lead to PTSD.

[@SaintSeja]

Did you see the movie "Dolores Claiborne" with Kathy Bates? This case reminds me a little bit of that.

[@KinslayerOfDoom]

It would have been interesting to hear an analysis of the hubby's personality too. He sounds like a sociopath and vulnerable narcissist - exactly the type who would over decades completely brainwash his wife into believing that leaving him is not an option. Also, these types often murder their partners for abandoning them.

[@robinrubendunst869]

Dr G always taking the moral high ground. The guy was sick and not in a way that made you feel sorry for him. I thought it was a great coverup. Except for maybe the idea that his remains may be contaminating the water in the reservoir… Her mistake was in involving her son who couldn’t keep his trap shut.

[@auroram296]

I can’t help, but feel relieved for Helen, being in a pattern of abuse for so long, can be detrimental to someone’s well-being, and hearing that she was able to get the horses she always wanted in the end made me smile… minus the part when she got caught :(

[@haggis525]

@@Snorlax220 She's just stupid. If she's married or in a relationship, though, I hope her man sees this and gets the f outta Dodge. She's stupid and dangerous.

[@michellecrocker2485]

I think there needs to be acknowledgment in the law that if a person is consistently under threat and the situation has only gotten more dangerous, then it’s self defense if and only IF they feel their life is continually in danger. It was the same thing with gypsy rose Blanchard. She killed her mother who was continually but slowly killing her. If the situation becomes kill or be killed, then I think it should be considered self defense

[@estherlev2472]

How can you say Helen wasn't in immidiate danger? Her husband actually threatend her before he fell asleep. Was she suppose to wait until he wakes up and carry out his threat and then try to defend herself?

[@jenanne31]

Happy holidays, Dr. Grande! I always enjoy your carefully considered analyses, even when I don't agree (which admittedly is rare). Thanks for all your hard work!

[@kingoreo3642]

This reminds me of the Mary Winkler case, except she only got three years, I believe, for shooting her husband in the back and letting him bleed to death. She was a sympathetic figure, but that doesn’t excuse what she did or her light sentence.

[@rullmourn1142]

TY Dr Grande. Would you analyze the case of Jade Janks? She was found guilty of murder yesterday of killing her step-dad, prosecutors said she found nude images of herself on his computer and killed him. The coroner did not rule his death a homicide, and said he was not strangled. I'm divided on this case...thanks.

[@daveatkins3568]

Sounds really interesting bud. Good suggestion. I’m about to look it up now. Happy holidays 😎✌🏼

[@rullmourn1142]

@@daveatkins3568 You're welcome, and Happy holidays to you too.

[@greatamericandreamrealtyli6583]

That does sound like an interesting one!

[@annalisegiovanni7032]

Hey Dr. Grande🤗🥰 Thank you so much for the new video! I can't tell you how much I appreciate you keeping me entertained & focused so I can get all this gift wrapping done without pulling my hair out🤦‍♀️ Much love to you & I hope that you have a merry Christmas🧑‍🎄🤶☃️❄️🎄!

[@reneegardner2286]

30 years of abuse would cause immense damage to a person's psyche. unless you walked in her shoes you can't say what's right or wrong

[@fumblingdetective]

Thats all fine. The problem that i am having is that she killed him, then brought her son into covering up the crime and getting rid of the body. Years after other son mentioned to some friends, that they killed their 'missing' father. But don't worry he was abusive, so it's alright then. Lying to the police, obstruction of justice, desecreation of corpse, this lady could have avoided all of this if she just told the truth. 9 years, she got of easy in my opinion.

[@wintercame]

💯. I'm surprised Dr G didn't remark that the psych evaluation was very possibly wrong. I believe this woman had battered woman syndrome and the husband had made a serious threat upon her before going to sleep.

[@reneegardner2286]

@@fumblingdetective 9 years for 30 years of abuse is getting off easy 🤔

[@reneegardner2286]

@@wintercame no psyche evaluation needed to say she has "battered woman syndrome" there were witnesses to his abuse, and sure it wasn't right how she handled it afterwards but she was also extremely isolated and worn down mentally emotionally physically and psychologically. as a domestic violence survivor I stand by her decision

[@fumblingdetective]

@@reneegardner2286 Yes 9 years for murder and aforementioned charges that go with it. She got off way easy.

[@kenya1067]

A very "Earl had to d*e" situation. I wonder why she was obsessed with being caught. Not that what she did was okay. But she clearly had reason. So then she does this then begs to be punished. Maybe because of the years of abuse her need to be reprimanded was solid within her. If only she had the strength to just leave. Then he would be suffering behind bars perhaps. But maybe not as I'm not sure domestic violence is ever really punished severely.

[@juneyshu6197]

Its not.. My moms dead, sil is recently dead, and daughter lost everything but survived. One husband, one Son, one boyfriend. All free.

[@Flamsterette]

What she did was totally okay.

[@maciekillebrew2614]

Excellent critical analysis. You are very proficient at your craft and a pleasure to listen to. I enjoy your alliterations immensely.

[@barbtries]

i agree with you. was previously unfamiliar with this case. Justice is pretty scarce in this land.

[@malimalou751]

Great analysis as usual!

[@pamelahaze3211]

Triggered.. I've met his kind. And I get rid of him

[@theresabromar5415]

Good.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

It’s amazing how much a TBI can change a person. It can change a person’s personality completely.

[@betsyr4724]

He was already a control freak.

[@jhoughjr1]

ive had a couple in my life not too bad ones but it did change my personality some I htink. Second one I thought as it happened I nearly Phineas Gaged myself.

[@marcielizabeth7425]

It didn't completely change his personality. It enhanced his already dysfunctional way of relating to her.

[@BackyardButcher]

😭🙏 me and my husband have been married for over 20 years. 9 years ago he had a terrible accident that almost cost him his life, but it left him with TBI. I have had to learn to live with a stranger. Some days are good, some days are bad. Sometimes I just want to leave, but I'm conflicted. He doesn't abuse me, he is just not the same guy anymore. Like, at all!

[@audralynn7454]

It really is. In his case though, he was already a scary and controlling person. She probably only said the TBI made it worse to make herself feel better about marrying him.

[@elizabethhamm5320]

Merry Christmas Dr. Grande 🎄🎅. Thanks for pumping out videos even during the holidays. A holiday treat for sure. Can you analyze the police shooting of Maddie Hoffman in Malvern PA? Thanks again for your hard work. These cases are important as cautionary tales

[@carmenhunter4380]

Thank you for another year of excellent daily content Dr Grande!! Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas 🎅 🎄 ❤️

[@HappyOne3]

Dr. Grande, I would love to get your expert opinion on the Lucy Letby case in England. She has the appearance of a lovely young nurse in the maternity unit at a hospital in England. Over the years she has deliberately murdered many newborns hours after birth. But her methods would create painful deaths for defenseless newborns. The case is in trial now. I am curious once enough is disclosed about her, what can your analysis show. Thank you.

[@helensophia2900]

Mocking a victim who suffered 30yrs of domestic violence is tasteless,and frankly uneducated.

[@Lynzae]

Dr Grande, as a Christmas present, please, please do an analysis on Amberlynn Reid. Please! Not that I want her to get anymore infamy, but I truly want to know about her narcissistic personality. Please!!!!

[@psingerman4778]

I would like to see more discussion on this case of the usual course of a domestic violence situation. Perpetrators like Miles typically use brainwashing techniques to convince the victim that she (or he) is undesirable, stupid, unable to take care of themselves and their children, that she (or he) is helpless. Since the victim believes he/she is helpless, they can come to believe that the only way out is to kill the perpetrator. I don't mean to imply this is ok; it most certainly is not. I would love to see the notes of the clinician who decided she did not have battered woman syndrome. Maybe not; the clinician was there, and I was not. But in my counseling days, I saw a lot of cases similar to this. After 30 years of this, she must have had an extremely strong ego not to have some PTSD after all that gun-twirling, etc. It seems to me that the trauma she's been through, particularly the emotional abuse, could result in some diminished culpability..

[@lisamac8503]

Yes these are typical ways a Narc controls their victims

[@powlperc]

People get in their lifetime miserable existences…..you have to do what it takes to be happy (not violence).. just start over. Easier said than done…ten years it is.

[@GrumpyCat-mw5xl]

Why do people stay together when all they want to do is abuse and want to kill them. If it’s so bad you want to literally kill your spouse then just move out. Even this sometimes isn’t enough as there are plenty of cases where they split up and someone still ends up getting murdered.

[@anneflynn9614]

If she left her husband he would probably have killed her.

[@azulgaia7782]

The thing is, these abusers have ensnared their victims from the start. Pressuring for rapid relationship progression, while insisting they are better qualified to manage the finances and make decisions for the relationship. They push boundaries then get mad if you protest. They withhold affection or the complain you’ve hurt them. All the while it goes unsaid they could physically take you in a fight. It progresses. The same way adults prey on kids, picking the soft spoken ones that maybe have poor self esteem. Grooming, testing for a reaction, manipulating and threatening. If you don’t object and get out right away, then when do you?

[@GrumpyCat-mw5xl]

@@anneflynn9614 true. The abuser can be incredibly manipulative for example threatening to kill her or kill himself if she ever left him. Just horrible.

[@psingerman4778]

Did you notice what happened when she did try to leave?

[@betsyr4724]

Love your alliteration. Thanks

[@bthomson]

Oh yes! Cute first letter chains! ( not east to do!)

[@aliciagriggs8531]

Even though she was not diagnosed with battered wife syndrome, she still had some kind of traumatic stress disorder to cause her to shoot Miles. Anyone who has lived with the controlling husband knows.

[@gregrice1354]

Oh, my. Your humor is literary, verbal, hilarious, and pronounced and dark in this video, Dr. Grande. Maybe this is most exemplary of your creativity stream crossed with your psychoanalytic expertise. It seems to be close to early Cohen brothers films content, like Blood Simple (correct name of film?) or Raising Arizona. Your enjoyment of the alliterative humor during such a serious, dark and fatal episode of damaged love is unique. Could this indicate your stream of creative Voice? It seems pretty strong as a statement? Nothing wrong with that, but the taste of John Waters or early Cohen Brothers is rather refined taste. Go for it, Dr. Grande!!! Maybe a hint of this in the latter 2 Daniel Craig Bond film writing, as well - regarding character Mr. White come to mind. You raise the creative/artistic view of this otherwise "mundane" homicide case to unique levels of interest and focus. You characterize the content with unique humor and a particular slant/point of view, distinguishing the dark matter with a creative and unique perception from philosophical and human perception. The content encapsulates compassion contrasted with reason and justice in an exceptional situation. To me, this episode speaks with your creative voice, derived over your years of experience and professional practice. This could be your personal deep, rich, vein of creative gold, Dr. Grande. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you!!!

[@Seegoatlove]

Dr Grande, can you analyze the Meg thee Stallion case vs Tory Lanez case?

[@modernfckinman]

The fact that literally no one bothered to look for him when he disappeared is so satisfying. That's what you get for being a scumbag.

[@AZVIDS]

Dr Grande please do a video on Dr Duntsch (Dr Death).👍

[@brankobulovic167]

As I see it (maybe after too many K. Vonnegut novels....) nine years, or even 4.5, is in no way a short time to spend anywhere one does not want to, not to mention a prison. Also, not only that I don't see a danger in creating a precedent that would (maybe not just partially but entirely) exculpate one who could be "cornered" into murdering ("defenselessly asleep" or awake) their spouse who is an abusive bully. I do not see why would a reasonable person worry about such "precedents" - they have been happening (and are dully reported, for that matter) for WELL over a century.

[@UseADamnCoaster]

4:52 Amazingly adept alliteration as always 💯

[@m.f.richardson1602]

Very interesting analysis. Also, very confusing. Always interesting. Thank you Peace 💕🇺🇲🎅

[@LaurenThompsonIsMyRealName]

Dr. Grande is so good at this!Insightful analysis with a sharp and delightful wit. I watch every post, the same can not be said about many other channels i subscribe to. ❤️

[@erikamccarthy1457]

12/24/22 Never marry or stay in a bad marriage, because of children! It causes more damage! When kids grow up they don’t know what healthy relationships look like. Not self defense if not being attacked, can’t kill abuser 1st chance you get. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the law! Miles,rip🌹

[@dogtrainer4645]

I appreciate your hard work and consistency, Dr. G! I can always count on being informed and entertained by you. Merry Christmas to you and your family!! I hope you take a day or more off! 😊

[@edge8941]

Considering all the years of abuse she endured, and his manipulation to keep her in his web, I think justice was served and pretty fair for all parties, but maybe that's just me.

[@LaCantressa]

Dr. Grande should take a look at the case of Francine Hughes, The Burning Bed. I always thought that case was odd.

[@moni3634]

What she did was very stupid....she should have called the Police when He threatend her with the Pistole...i feel very sorry for what this women and her children Had to Go through but its never ever a good Plan to kill someone ....No Matter If that Person ist awake or sleeping, only self defence is somehow acceptable for me....

[@theresabromar5415]

No, what she did was courageous. I applaud her actions. Bullies are the problem. Get rid of them. They're too dangerous.

[@animalia9114]

Merry Xmas Dr. Grande! Would you consider analyzing allegations towards Jake Gravbrot from Seattle? It would be so interesting hearing your take on this case!

[@KoolT]

I'm so glad you are interesting and not boring. Do you think Peterson has had a breakdown? Have you listened to any of Vaknin's lectures lately. He has cut contact with Grannon.

[@cosimavonliebenau8317]

Vaknin did? Intriguing. Do you know why? I felt Grannon was getting weirdly narcissistic recently.

[@blablablaj]

@@cosimavonliebenau8317 no its just his type of sarcasm/humour, except you can give us more examples

[@pamelahaze3211]

Grannons a narc but doesn't admit it Sam does

[@herrguru4264]

It`s good that she was jailed. She had many options. At the time of the shooting, she was not in danger. He was sleeping. She shot him dead for revenge, and then pretended that it was "self-defense". *Imagine what would happen, if a man saw his wife sleeping, and then decided to shoot 2 bullets into her head, because "he was abused by his wife for many years". He would certainly go to prison.*

[@christinedoherty4809]

I usually agree with your assessment. Whether or not the husband was defenseless doesn’t diminish or wash away his abuses and power over her. She was a battered woman. No one seems to appreciate the woman’s experiences in these situations.

[@MickC2167]

I generally agree with you but feel there may be issues in this case you don’t take into consideration. I have worked with multiple women from similar relationships. Often, the husband can be very controlling, manipulative, and demeaning. Some of the women, on the surface, may not meet the criteria for a battered wife syndrome, but once you get to know them and dig below the surface you begin to see the subtle manipulation and conditioning that has been going on for years. The husband constantly demeans the wife, slowly but surely chipping away at their confidence until they have near zero self-esteem and self-worth, completely relying on the husband. They feel no confidence of surviving on their own if they leave and feel trapped. The husband is often very controlling with time, finances, and social contacts. The wife may have no access to finances, with all cheques signed by him and all credit and debit cards attached to his accounts so he can see every transaction. If she does leave the home without prior approval or isn't where she is supposed to be, within minutes he is angrily demanding to know where she is. He complains that her friends and family don’t treat her well and only care about themselves. They only complain about him because they are jealous of his and her relationship and want to break it up. One classic I have seen multiple times to distance the wife from female supports is to claim the support person propositioned him. He warned her they were bad and here is the proof. The wife ends up with no access to finances, no support network, and no time to plan out an escape route. Also, over time she becomes conditioned to no longer seek out support people or essentially do anything without the husband’s approval. It’s simply not worth the consequences that follow. Sometimes there have been threats of death if they try to leave. The husband can also quite manipulative. Police, neighbours, or extended family may have previously approached the husband with concerns about his behaviour. This husband is then quite manipulative and ends up with the person feeling sorry for him. For example, she has mental health issues, so he needs to look out for. It may seem controlling, but he needs to do it to be sure she doesn’t get herself in trouble. He hates to do it, but fears for her. That time he hit her or pulled the gun on her was horrible, he feels so bad, but he had to it as she was about to seriously harm herself or someone else and he needed to snap her out of it and panicked. He did it for the right reasons. He only wants to help her. Given this, there is often here is a genuine - and unfortunately sometimes valid - fear, that if she did leave, he would simply contact authorities and manipulate them into helping him find her. After years of this, sometimes the wife can see no adaptive way out of the situation. There is no support network to offer help, no finances to get away, no time to plan an escape route, no confidence in herself, and no confidence anyone would believe her, which can result in some pretty irrational behaviour.

[@susannegardner3148]

Well said.

[@dammar117]

I don't condone what she did, but between 9 or even 18 years in prison abuse-free and 30 more years tat the hands of this violent man, I think the choice was clear. I think she tried to cover up the murder to get a chance at a fully free life, but in the end I think she still would have preferred prison to staying with him.

[@robertyoung1777]

The farm crisis of the 1980s and 90s took a huge toll on the lives of people living in rural communities. This kind of story is not particularly surprising to me, having grown up during that time period in a farming community. That said; the times were not an excuse for murder.

[@renee1961]

Hi, Dr. Grande! 🙋🪴🍀🌵🪴🌵 Have a Merry Christmas ⛄🎄🤗🎉🎈🎊🎀🎁! Thank You!

[@RadhE-ug6on]

I don’t agree with killing abusive spouses, and I also recognise the enormous risk in leaving them. I think the power of the judicial system in cases of serious domestic violence is negligible.

[@markpaul-ym5wg]

What happens when a sheriff and his deputies go into a home without a warrant and murder a guy who is sleeping.This happened in tennessee about 10 yrs ago.The wife sued them,but it was thrown out by the highest court in tenn.

[@marilynmcmahon5932]

Many family members of alcoholics don’t get the help they need. Families get sick too.

[@marilynmcmahon5932]

@user-ph2rc1qu7g does this work?

[@andreasrau2161]

Good evening, Dr. Grande! While the psychologists stated that Helen was not suffering from Battered Woman Syndrome, we've all seen how members of that profession sometime all too frequently, screw up their analyses and diagnoses. After thirty years of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her husband, she was NOT thinking clearly.

[@gs-xx8uv]

I disagree. Someone makes you get rid of your horses or any other pet you love, they should get three shots, not two.

[@jessicaleser8822]

Seems that the community favored Helen....if she had opted for a jury trial, I would bet that the jury would have ruled in her favor

[@LaniLanilei]

Hi Dr Grand. Have you done an analysis on Cara Rush? If you have, where may I view it? I believe she got away with murder. I wanted to see your take on this case. Thank you in advance

[@equality4all]

What other options did she have? The only time to end her nightmare was when her abuser was passed out. I totally understand her

[@mc1dash1b]

Just had to alliterate (groan)! Good one Doc.

[@pamelahaze3211]

Haha

[@deborahblackvideoediting8697]

Poor Helen. Those photos of her show a woman completely devoid of joy. She never had any time during her youth to just be happy. For decades she worked hard and tried to please her husband, only to be beaten and threatened on a regular basis. Any joy she might have had (like her horses) were taken away from her. On the night she killed her husband, he threw wrenches at her (imagine getting hit with just one - how much would that hurt?), and threatened her and her son with a gun. If anyone threatened my son, I would take them out before they had the chance...even if it meant jail time. Since his violent nature was getting worse and worse, it seems very likely that he would have eventually beaten her to death - or taken a gun and shot her and both her sons who lived at home. I'm usually appalled by the killers described in Dr. Grande's videos, but I feel so bad for Helen.

[@bradleyshort1029]

Head injuries more often than not makes them “more of the same “

[@JoeyOnly]

Right on! Canadian content this time. Thanks Doc!

[@Blissfulnessence]

Anyone else think of that Dixie Chicks song "Goodbye Earl"?