Watch out if you ever do THIS to a narcissist

[@ai172]

Dr. Ramani, we hope you are safe amidst all the fire that's going on in the LA area 😢 Our prayers for everyone’s safety❤

[@michelleharkness7549]

Central Time Zone- Nortb America: btw: technical support team and admin staff at Doctor Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D. ; thank you 😊: again; thank you 😊/ Austin, Texas - AUS

[@jodycasey6936]

Wow good point. Yes👏🏻

[@ShortDarknLovely]

From a meme: Narcissists be like, “Yes I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.”

[@starvillagedk]

Yes, I've experienced this

[@patriciawalker7077]

Im living it after 3 years and much more that I can't prove.😮

[@starvillagedk]

@@patriciawalker7077 I'm so sorry for you ❤️‍🩹

[@BonnieJean4578]

Yeah, and because I sent you a Christmas card, I am reaching out, and you are ignoring me, so YOU have a problem.🙄

[@mani_aura222]

My narc ex husbands words when I left after he cheated when my dad died, and also financially and emotionally abused me, were "it's not fair"

[@dk5755]

The worst is when their betrayals are exposed, and then they gaslight you AND blame you for their betrayal.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

I’m concerned what bs betrayals

[@sylwiakleczkowska8220]

Haha my ex husband was that kind. After being exposed, his first words were:"It is your fault.." 😂

[@dk5755]

@@Smartbeautifulawesome ??? I’m not sure I understand your enquiry. If it was meant as an enquiry.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

@@dk5755 I’m just saying people are fighting too much bs betrayals and plans maybe that we don’t really know. Like weird bullying or whatever

[@dk5755]

@@Smartbeautifulawesome I’m not comprehending your point, or grammar. A betrayal is a betrayal.

[@Babeatrice]

In my younger, funnier days, I once got tired of my evil stepmother degrading me by rubbing in my face in front of my father and others that my mother was insane, and without thinking it through I quipped: “well, dad knows how to pick ‘em lol”.. The coldness, cruelty, sabotaging, etc. from her that ensued for nearly a decade (before I finally went NC with my entire family) nearly destroyed my and my little daughter’s lives.

[@dawntreader815]

That's great! Pure honesty. It's amazing how they can hold grudges and be punitive for decades.

[@sheila1366]

I think I like you! 😆 Sounds like something I might have let slip in my younger, less wise days. Glad you're out now.

[@JadeyHad]

They are vindictive hypocrites, without a shred of decency.

[@le_th_]

Without a shred of GENUINE decency. The can feign decency in public at all times.

[@aukusart]

It's bewildering so - unfortunately.

[@margaretgjerdrum1394]

Agreed. Mine (brother) tried to take me to court to get control of mum's money. I was POA. And I had treatable cancer at the time. Scumbag.

[@reneegardner2286]

Perfect explanation

[@sandrawamerdam2219]

There is no way with these people. You are only good for them when getting their way or what they want.

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

@@sandrawamerdam2219 Exactly.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

This is most people

[@sushmayen]

They feel you bring out the worst in them..they're not self aware.

[@dk5755]

They blame everyone else for their mood, behaviour, and actions. Never accountable!

[@Weltliteratur-]

But what they do is the opposite, they bring out the worst in others.

[@10muusa]

Ex said she started feeling sick after meeting me. I was like "well, if that's the case, let me cure you". That means no contact.

[@neptunelove8534]

What is bloody painful is they call the truth teller the liar and mark them as the problem. As the truth teller is falling apart trying to just say the truth. It can make a truth teller feel like they are suffering their death.

[@ThotDestroya2025]

Yes

[@kryssysmith1486]

All this began on Christmas Eve last year. I called out the narcissist without labeling them as such and was so triggered it took me a week to recover. Later, I dealt with a narcissistic enabler who excused the behavior by saying, 'Oh, they're just worried about someone.' I replied, 'That doesn’t give them the right to take it out on you.' I was called childish and then blocked. At this point they're gonna have to deal with that narcissist person. I am so glad I dodged the bullet.

[@dennisbloomquist9220]

I spent a week with my "person with strong narcissistic tendencies." After this person left I had the worst sciatica attack of my life. I had no energy for a month, being essentially lifeless. I feel for all of the people who are stuck in narcissistic relationships and I thank the good doctor for explaining that not everyone has the ability to just walk away from the abuser. I asked a great (in all senses of the word) friend of mine when it became inescapable that his/her mother really wasn't on her/his side. The response was it took until age 50 to stop trying to satisfy the mother. And my friend is incredibly bright and insightful. Have empathy for other victims and especially, BE NICE TO YOURSELF.

[@FutureFendiFsnista]

Good riddance! I'm so sorry that you got triggered though. I hope you are able to take time to heal in their absence 💛

[@Non-Artificial-Intelligence]

This quote from you is universal and should be written in a book of the most meaningful quotes ever spoken: "In the absence of truth, and trust, and honesty, there's absolutely no possibility for a relationship." This is exactly why forgiveness without true and faithful repentance is nothing but a license to the offender to continue. Forgiveness, in itself, is so often mistaken for the thing that will restore the relationship. So many - especially Christians - errant in this belief are shamed by others as if they were the perpetrator if they do not go along with this narrative. True REPENTANCE is the other partner that is required in the restored relationship dance.

[@starvillagedk]

Couldn't agree more

[@trinamyers7726]

Dr. Ramani, after enduring the whole narcissistic relationship from beginning to end, the trauma bond included, the worst and hardest part has not been from the narcissist. It was the case in the beginning. But the long term healing I face every day is from all my trusted friends who completely believed the narcissist and have totally turned their backs on me to this today. I’m pretty much over the narcissist. But the betrayal trauma has been by far the most devastating part of the entire experience. 💔

[@patricebest545]

Betrayal trauma the worse from family and professional areas

[@trinamyers7726]

@@patricebest545 Especially from leaders in your own Church, or “spiritual space”.

[@ellalla281]

when you hurt the narcissist, he will hold it against you for years to come, bring it up again and again at every possible opportunity, and never ever forgive you, even if you did nothing on purpose and have apologized a hundred times. mine holds my first pregnancy against me. yes, he is the father. we were already married. and yes, it happened 24 years ago.

[@aliceroberts1980]

Yeah like he was involved!! Insane mine did the same thing he was responsible because he wouldn’t use birth control it was my job !

[@Reiki_Bee]

Narcissism labeled as a "personality style" is too kind. These people are just pure evil! 😮‍💨

[@anitasue3208]

Yeh I agree and even worse when u find out yr own mother been backstabbing u to other siblings that u don’t talk to anymore due to a fathers passing and the separation is all stemming from jealousy and envy! Come from them of course! I am done either way this family because I have been unsupported and used as the scapegoat to blame for everything! God sees I’m a truth teller and has been trying to show me all my enemies including the toxic ppl in my bloodline! The universe and god are my witnesses! I have done nothing wrong to these narcs it’s the other way around! I just mind my own business and try my best to get by in this thing called life?!!! 😇 I’m not perfect but I am not wicked, cold & fake like these ppl they are pure evil & cowards too!!!!

[@neptunelove8534]

Exactly. Everyone is so kind calling it this i have many other names i can call them. More truthful names such as abusive personality behavior. APB this way we can get straight to the point. Evil personality type. Pure Evil.

[@juttalarosa4944]

Absolutely agree! Pure evil, demonic entities! MONSTERS!

[@wasntme3651]

Sick evil pieces of we all know what.

[@Loool_7656]

@@neptunelove8534 This is harmful though and only stigmatizes personality disorders/mental health issues. Narcissistic personality disorder (which only effects about 0.8% of the worlds population) is a genuine personality disorder that people struggle with which is most of the time caused by childhood trauma (sometimes it's genetic). People with NPD can be good ppl despite their personality disorder, and it is something they need therapy for. However, people tend to confuse NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) with highly manipulative and abusive people. And someone may have narcissistic traits and yet not be diagnosed with NPD. And usually ppl misdiagnose abusive ppl as narcissists.

[@lynnebucher6537]

That calmness he showed after having his meltdowns was the biggest surprise for me.

[@BonesAndButtons]

Like an addict who had gotten his fix?

[@wlckszlzkkn]

Or how the meltdown destroys you or your children, then he turns around and is completely happy and finally in a good mood while you're reeling. I used to think that maybe he was bipolar because the change-up was crazy. Now I realize the meltdown was intentional and felt good to him to wreck those around him.

[@susanbradleyskov9179]

@@wlckszlzkkn My narc has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, but they also have a whole complex of narcissistic traits. The diagnosis came really late in life, after 60. They are also an alcoholic. That has made life incredibly confusing for me for the last 20 years and for them their entire life. 😳

[@rayarena879]

OMG! Yes, I went on vacation with a narc who absolutely destroyed my vacation by humiliating me repeatedly in front of strangers for no reason ( he had me walking on eggshells as I was trying to avoid his tirades ). He then had the nerve to say that he was angry with me for making him lose his temper in front of other people! We came back to the US and I was shattered while he was refreshed and feeling brand new! Of course, there was no accountability. I was just too sensitive.

[@LBGirl98]

Yes...Dr. Ramani, please be safe out there in Southern California. I miss living there, but my heart aches for you and all others who are enduring these tragedies. 😢 Sending ❤️❤❤love to you.

[@Oshio_germ]

I pray every day, that the people around them realize their true face 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 thanks for your videos🫶🏼

[@jodycasey6936]

From Jan 2024 til today, this has been the worst and best year of my life. So much pain, toxicity, terrible things. And then so much love, help, light, supernatural gifts, answers to lifelong questions plus so much more. If I had to do it all over again I would -hands-down. Fact that I’m malleable and a teachable spirit is one of my saving graces. I’m so glad to be here !!! What a ride! ❤

[@youngblood8540]

Trust, loyalty and respect. If they fvck up one, they lose all three.

[@petravangolberdinge2261]

And thats a sure thing !!😂💯👏👏

[@michelleharkness7549]

From Austin, Texas - AUS: fwiw: thank you 😊 Doctor Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D. again: thank you 🙏

[@lynnebucher6537]

Well said!

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

@@youngblood8540 Yes.

Yep

[@mamared7374]

I recently cut off my adoptive parents after 40 years of trying to deal with the physical and emotional abuse. I was in and out of state homes and fostercare before that. I don't know where to begin. Thank you for the videos. I am cautiously moving forward.

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

I had to walk away from narcissistic parents 33 years ago because of physical and emotional abuse in my childhood and ongoing emotional abuse when I became an adult.

[@christinelamb1167]

I cut off my mother almost 5 years ago, when I was 56 years old. It was so hard, but necessary after a lifetime of constant abuse. I couldn't take the gaslighting, manipulation, and lies anymore! I was close to having a breakdown.

[@mamared7374]

​@JackieFerrell-f6o Thank you for commenting. I'm so glad I'm not alone. My parents shape-shifted and fooled many people. I kept the secret of abuse for years. Here's to healing!!

[@mamared7374]

​@@christinelamb1167Thank you for commenting. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who did this as an older adult.

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

@@mamared7374 I am so glad that I could help. When I read that someone else has gone through a similar situation and/or decision to walk away, this helps me to understand that I am not the only one who has had to go through this which helps me m feel better that I made the right choice. I'm slowly improving my self esteem and my self respect which was shattered before I knew what I had to do. In my healing process I am reconnecting with myself, too. I have been surprised to find out who I am along with ideas I wasn't aware of because I hid who was out of self preservation.

[@andron967]

I've experienced this several times. Busted, mask shattered the whole game crumbles. Lies exposed. Etc,etc,etc. Let's be clear this is way beyond the manipulation game that keeps us bonded for their supply. And this narcissist absolutely disappears forever. You don't need to do anything. You are now a major threat just by simply seeing who they are. But they can't change. So they step over to other sources of supply. And it's so far away from any level of being a human as you experience life. That you really have trouble understanding what happened. It's confusing. And this is where pros like Dr.Ramani help us.

[@bereal6590]

Anything I've ever done that has been wrong or displeased my parents is the worst thing in the world. Anything they have done, I'm ungrateful, difficult, too sensitive or my favourite "you expect too much from people"! Did wonders for my psyche lol.

[@christinelamb1167]

I remember my narc ex boyfriend, when I would try to talk to him about something he said/did that hurt me, he would say with a look of contempt "Wow, you really expect a lot out of me, don't you"? As if I was the one with the problem!

[@bereal6590]

​@@christinelamb1167I really hate those looks of contempt. My mother and father have never been joyful at a success but they're all over it with mistakes. Makes everything miserable. Life is damn hard enough as it is.

[@craig265]

High hopes leads to big disappointments..... And entitlement will lead to even bigger disappointments... Never think that a narcissist will change for you.....

[@Greenwings701]

A narc won't fib to spare your feelings, but they'll do this thing where they'll smirk and do an exaggerated lie with the intention of showing it might be something you are out-of-touch enough to buy. It's meant to ridicule your vulnerable position. Never cook for, host, or serve a narc if you can possibly avoid it.

[@adanakalb8708]

Hi Dr Ramani my heart goes out to you, you saved myself . Thank you very much

[@Buster-im5so]

Hey... this is my fourth year of listening to Dr. Ramani, by 'chance' when recovering from an injury. I've learned enough to 'hear', i.e. understand how these behaviors. I see that my parent's behavior, even though praised by my best friend, chiseled my subdued temperament, etc. Today, I'm snowed-in, thank God for the time to review this material. I see it differently now with a greater understanding through maturity of my understanding of (my) experiential reality.

[@vaschristou4027]

I wish I had pointed out a "mask slip" I noticed in the early days, to my son, I could have saved him 10 traumatic years and ultimately a devastating divorce and heartache for him and my grandchildren😢

[@well_weathered]

"Believe their own hype", so true. ✔️Therapy is now a competition. The therapist therefore could be trying to keep it calm? Thank you.

[@anitah3258]

You truly are amazing!!!! I always hated when people defended me, I didn't really know why. Now that you are talking about this (5:50), it was a light bulb for me. This is why I love and crave to be invisible!

[@MarnieA-lf2bt]

Our experience with an in-law has been heartbreaking for so many reasons. Thanks for your info. I'm afraid we can only do the best we can to protect ourselves.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

No one talks about all this enough my peers are a joke I think. Not the kind ones but genuinely these people have the weirdest hatred I’ve ever seen

[@well_weathered]

Why doesn't the pushback work on the narcissist? They don't feel accountable to truth to anyone?

[@susanbradleyskov9179]

They recognize no truth but their own.

[@Tanliz94]

They are right, period!

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

I don't think so.

[@lynnebucher6537]

My ex said I had no right to do so. Laughable!

[@chrisgorski1656]

My ex used to repeat a phrase she saw on a show to me quite often. “You don’t get to…” Ugh

[@Gemmarose9012]

Timely video. I just said ENOUGH did a door slam on a long time “friend of our family” after maintaining very limited grey rock contact. I changed my cell number and I know the “apology” or rage letter will be coming as written word is her favorite communication. I intend to refuse it. When I’m done I’m done . Thank you for all your helpful content.❤

[@DarlingEbony]

My dad was notorious for this behavior. As a result, I would always try to manage even the adults around me so that they wouldn't say anything even if he was wrong.

[@ferminromero2602]

So true. Matches my experiences with narcissists accurately!

[@tarirae]

Your first example was a line for line depiction of my last argument with my Mother 2 yrs ago. It was a pattern over years to keep me from “embarrassing” her. This last time I stood up and refused to let her bully. She wiped her hands clean and my family followed suit so as not to poke the bear. Hardest, most fulfilling 2 yrs of my life. Thank you for making these!

[@lindabialowas2697]

Oh my stars!!! Every word you said is spot on. Every single word 💜

[@shilparathore3181]

Dr. Ramani, I hope you are safe. Thanks for these videos. They help me everyday.

[@peterlederer3896]

Listening to you talk you make it sound like it's only men but rest assured there are men who are victims of female narcissists as well

[@susanbradleyskov9179]

She knows and we know.

[@susankeith326]

I think most of us know that it's not gender specific .

[@vaschristou4027]

I think in her videos, she always talks about "the narcissist." she never refers to them being either sex

[@biondna7984]

19 years after the divorce, my main narc (my parents are dead; they blamed their marital problems on my sibling and I) is my ex who would keep bullying me for money, when my lawyer proved he owes ME. I've blocked him entirely. Sadly, my failures and the narc's leaned our younger child into narcissism as well. My younger now will have nothing more to do with me as I'm no longer subsidizing his self-destructive lifestyle while being his punching bag. Sadly, for self preservation, I'm done with both adults.

[@christopherkennedy873]

As a caregiver, I have to protect my mother...I have been accused of isolating her from a narcissist relative and his enabling apologist spouse. The projection...the gaslighting....but insinuating that I was the problem, and that my protection constitutes elder abuse was the last straw - some relationships cannot be repaired, some dysfunctions can't be fixed, some damages never heal. A good day is when we don't even mention their names. 😥

[@notagain779]

@christopherkennedy873, If your mother feels the same way you do, and she's able to, they need to hear her say it to them, that you two are in agreement. That ought to get them to bugger off! I also had a similar situation, and you're correct in that some relationships cannot be repaired. Especially ones where you're being falsely accused of elder abuse. In my case, three in laws were fearful that I was trying to steal my mother's money. But did any of my three siblings ever try to help with her care? Hell, NO! They made themselves scarce!!

[@christopherkennedy873]

@notagain779 exactly - mom is kind of old school ( literally - 92! 🤣) - she does not like confrontation - and is frail and timid - the ignoring boundaries, lies, refusal to REALLY apologize, defection, projection ..yadda yadda you know the drill... EXHAUSTING! I've let them know WITH her acknowledgement and agreement, that the pain SHE feels is her OWN ( and I'm merely provided a voice of protest that she is otherwise unable to speak - the frustration and ANGER are MINE. Homie don't play that game anymore. I'm a heart patient, and I can't take the stress. It saddens mom ( the whole family did not fair well during COVID - with a few refusing to mask in her presence, or lying about doing so the few times I allowed them to escort her to funerals) So they are the "last man standing" from the core family group. But I can't do it - It is by my influence that they are still beneficiaries in her will ( not a large estate) because SHE wanted them cut out or diminished, but I didn't want the blame or venom...which I'm already getting anyway... "No good deed goes unpunished" 🫤 Unfortunately, the closure, freedom, and peace I seek will most likely only materialize after she passes - and I get to remove these toxic vipers from my life entirely. Heartbreaking. 😢

[@notagain779]

@@christopherkennedy873 , Yes, closure and peace after your mom passes. Unfortunately, that's what it takes, and I am there. It's a great relief, even though I miss her, and the outcome with "family" is not what I would have wished for. I wish you relief from your stress. I have an idea for your mom. If the core family group comes to see her, she could drop a few sentences to them indicating how much she appreciates you, that you're good to her, etc...let that sink in to their brains. My mother did this for me whenever she got the chance to. They didn't exactly like knowing that I was loved by and appreciated by her, but it did seem to shut them up a bit. They probably thought she was going to favor me in her will. My sister even a few times, tried to turn her against me! My mom left equal amounts to each of us in her will, but I was the only one she gave money generously to while she was still alive. I was losing income while care giving, and her lawyer suggested it to lower her taxes. It was also tax free money for me that I didn't have to declare. My toxic vipers would contest that for sure, but none of them will ever know, ha-ha!! As her lawyer said, "There is no amount of money so small that people won't fight over it." One of his clients had even sued a sibling for ownership of a stuffed toy from childhood!! I understand your mother not wanting confrontation. My mom was similar and also timid - wanted everyone to just get along. Sometimes it's the in-laws who cause the most upset, as they start salivating over what their spouse might inherit. My heart goes out to you and your dear mom! 🙏🏼

[@gefen6638]

Thinking of you during the terrible fire in LA. Hope that you are safe. Hope that all the victims will soon be able to rebuild and heal.

[@kimberleyhartley6631]

Hello Dr. Ramani. Very true of narcissists behavior that tell lies. My thoughts and prayers are with you during the devastating wildfires in L.A., hoping that the environmental conditions clears immediately.

[@NewMelungeon]

The “magic” of the good Doctor, is her describing our experience, either before or after the event. Troy Aikman was once asked what is the most exciting moment of playing football. He said it was the ten seconds of having called a play, get up to the line, look at the defensive setup, and know the outcome of the next five five seconds…before it happens. Narcissists are addicted to that “premonition”, and setup everything and everybody all around them to get that fix, that hit, at every chance they get.

[@lorianttila9698]

My betrayal was naming names to someone who asked who may or may not have been in a position of authority. Everything thing Dr Ramani said is true. I wished I had done it sooner because it finally led to the narcissist stating he wanted to divorce. The best thing ever! Although it took me many months of therapy and Dr Ramani to understand that. Thank you Dr Ramani you are truly a godsend

[@byebye967]

dr Ramaani is literally the goat 🐐 #preach 💯 straight Facts!

[@AnnieB749-k82p]

THANK YOU for bringing up the anxious attachment issues many narcissistic people have. I see all over the internet that it's avoidants that tend to be narcissistic... and while there can be some overlap in behaviors, most of the avoidants I know are nearly opposite of the narcissistic people I know. And most of the narcissistic people I know are anxiously attached. So it always gives me dissonance when I see lay people connect avoidance and narcissism. It doesn't fit my experience at all. That said, I'm sure there are many beautiful anxiously attached people out there. I trust it's a small minority of them (or any other attachment style) that are narcissistic.

[@well_weathered]

The therapist asked if I wanted to live together like sister and brother.. I said no that I didn'tcare to do that. Then he shocks with more information taking anything that could have been left. Yet, he still says he plans to retire at 62, he wants me to work, he will have a small farm and side work. When alone, he has said enough to paint the picture of waiting until I am out of the picture until he lives his real life. Why can't we just go our separate ways then? Is he just waiting for my parents to pass for a big pay off?

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

Well yes if money is involved!

[@lynnebucher6537]

A bigger question is why are you still in this relationship now that you know he has shown himself to be fine with being an unloving parasite rather than a loving partner? I do understand fear, but quietly preparing to split is empowering. And yes most likely he sees an inheritance payday coming.

[@well_weathered]

@lynnebucher6537 Without getting into too much like a parent in hospice, and not having had worked much of my married life.. We are in therapy, we don't have any left at home, his behavior has gotten much more coercive since, it is clear I was future faked, and now I am going through medical procedures and waiting on results. Obviously I was looking forward to this time in my life.

[@beckyjewel6525]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

[@le_th_]

It's true for covert narcissists, too, as well as the overt, exhibitionist variety.

[@WitchyHocusPocus]

Not my narc, he is so fake in front of everyone else.....he is horrid when it is just him and I.

[@ToFightTheGoodFight]

I was not weak when I was still married. I played by the rules for my than little kids sake. Unfortunately, the adult kids have been brainwashed, angry etc etc over the years. I finally got that final blow. Kids no longer communicate with me anymore. Disappointed but not dead. Also, a lot more educated on narcissism & have grown almost invincible. I would not hesitate to destroy the ex if the need arise . I have zero tolerance for narcissistic individuals.

[@TheHajdu99]

I witnessed mommy dearest calling her grandchild/ my lil 5 year old nephew an arsshole, in front of a large group at one of her many weddings. I told her: "He's not an arsshole- he's a five year old little boy!" After seeing his head bow in shame, I took his little hand and played with him for the rest of the entire day outside. I NEVER deserved her mindfukcery scapegoating, and I would NEVER stand by and watch her abuse another child again- despite the hell fury and flames that followed me after I called her out. RIP Destroyer of Lives: Lynn Hajdu/West/Basch/etc/etc/etc.... 🙄- a certainly earned title.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

Omg the mommy dearest shit needs to stop you guys are ridiculous

[@vickyaldridge6778]

That was interesting. I remember my BIL throwing a particularly nasty tantrum in front of family visitors. It slowly dawned on him that he was being laughed at. By everyone except his targeted victim. Things got so much worse then, as his humiliation was added to his list of grievances. It was really quite frightening.

[@lynnmarieanderson1744]

Both of my parents are liars, and they are both abusive in different ways. My Dad is sick, but my Mom can be a real drama queen and lie to make herself look better. And I’m just getting kicked around and messed with by both of them. Still, I am more loving towards my Mom, though I wonder why I love her sometimes. She has always been way more understanding towards me than my Dad, but she has some strange things going on with her.

[@lt827]

I disagree that it is devastating when a third party acknowledges the narcissist's bad treatment of you. On the rare occasion that this has happened to me, I felt validated, even if it was just for the instant until the toxic person jumped in and blamed me for their behaviour. 6:11

[@WithAnEss]

This is relatable. For 3 years, every Thursday, the narc and I would be around the same group of people. The narcs action of public abuse was to [purposely] forget my glass of water when ordering his drink at the bar. He'd leave me at the table, walk up to the bar and order his beer, and come back to the table without my water. He denies his alcoholism and can't stop drinking once he starts, so for the entire night, it's..."One more beer, one more beer, one more beer... Most of the night, I'm left alone at the table, while he socializes the room. Well, one night, a fellow PO observed the narc and I having a disagreement. The man walked overto where I was sitting, knelt down on one knee, and asked, "is everything okay?" OH MY GOD, the narc husband seen the mans concern and had an instant narcissistic flare-up. He grabbed his coat and immediately said to me, we're going now! And mumbled how the fellow blue brother was lucky he didn't get punched. So yes, like you commented, being seen, and acknowledged was important [for me] leaving the narc, and no contact whatsoever.

[@itchysheets1222]

It’s devastating to the narc. He thinks he’s a great guy, so I better not tell the truth to anybody lol

[@WithAnEss]

@itchysheets1222 Eventually his contemptuous abuse caught up with him, and I filed a police report. Oh I'm sure he's beyond devastated with himself, because now the whole department knows about his most personal information. 💪💜

[@itchysheets1222]

@ put them out on front street and suddenly they’re so cooperative with men who have guns lol

[@suekopp521]

That Promethian story was a cheery one.....I listened all the way thru to find some positive outlook, not today. I went no/low contact and wonder whether the pain will end. They are now the betrayed ones...,......and I am blamed

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

I wouldn’t even deal with people anymore. We get to a point we really don’t give a shit about any of it obviously it gets worse. They are insane

[@Sh3nan1gans]

If you focus on this educational stuff, Dr. Ramani, as the inherent nature of Cruelty rather than on the Narcissist in one video, I think it would help a younger me who could not accept that what my dad did to me was abusive. Dr. Ramani, our narcissistic parents challenged our conception of love at an early age. I think it makes us care more about what behaviors are kind versus cruel. I Just LOVE your videos on how victims of this kind of abuse can see narcissistic tendencies in themselves as bad, when in actuality, those people have had to suppress most of their wants and needs most of the time, sometimes for literal years on end. I'm thankful some people only experience this severe emotional abuse at the hands of 1 short term partner, fucked up as that is to be thankful about that. Short term often means easier to leave. ❤🎉 Good luck! ❤️

[@micheleheinz8770]

Im in Womans space now......been pushed, punched, and 911 called 3x in 6 weeks.....done.....done.....done....im abused, and hes blaming it on me......threw wine in my face......pushed me....throws my apartment fob in the woods, thrown glasses in my apt.........hes psycho, hes abusive, tamdrums, also love bombs me, flowers, im the best love in his life.......then the cycle happens again........i'm abused emotionally, but now.....pushed, punched, done done done --- blocked and womens space is my freedom..........

[@jimmysotack2523]

I’m 46 and can’t think of one narcissist I have ever met..I guess I am fortunate

[@ACH-z9m]

Not true for me..which is why I am okay with cancellation and Omarosa is a hero of mine. You have set me free.

[@alltheliliesbloomed]

Candace Owens must be another hero of yours I suppose 🙄

[@ACH-z9m]

@@alltheliliesbloomed nope. Omarosa was giving Trump a chance. Candace leans that way.

[@paulamorris935]

I cheated on mine. They never, NEVER, get over it. Attempted to prove I was sorry for 25 years. It's still an issue for him. He finally said he didn't want to be together. It hurts but I left. Can't go back. My love isn't enough and never was. 😢 Healing now. I hope.

[@Moon_Fire_Water]

I had a messy situation in our dating relationship that I created by wanting an experience that he was aware I wanted to have, said he was willing to, but my methods of seeking the potential third party for that experience I was not as candid with him as I shouldve been according to him, and so he considered what I did cheating ... but really the issue was very grey as he'd agreed to do this experience with me but we nevet discussed any rules in seeking this out. anyway, that has never been forgiven as he's used it to wound me any time it was relevant to make his point about how I must be cheating on him, accusations starting when our daughter was a year or two, jokingly or accusatory in fashion, I never did yet the story stayed the same. extreme amounts of criticism directed at me growing worse and my relationship with alcohol turned debilitating along with the depression I was in and post-partum hormonal imbalances and working a full time job to cover our health insurance while he pursued his dream career that still left us broke in the off seasons. A lot more to my story but yeah, harm them once no matter how remorseful you are for it or willing to prove you wouldn't make that mistake again is just futile. I don't think a narc would even appreciate or have no complaints about a perfect person should they actually even exist 😂

[@judomoto]

lol so you cheated at the beginning of the relationship and now are blaming him for not getting over it - and in this context are referring to him as the narc? Girl, what?? You attempted to prove you were sorry?

[@paulamorris935]

@judomoto Thank you for sharing your assumption. It will help me better communicate the situation moving forward.

[@eritquearcus8002]

I heard the narcissist responding to the other person :oh, it was only a joke.

[@theTurqoiseseahorsetarot6827]

Thank you for the uploads . They help.

[@StaceyJack-wh6oy]

exactly. 550. This is so hard. This is exactly what I'm dealing with now. I have to get out of here. And I am almost frozen. I have never known this before. And it's making me craaaaaaaazy

[@Sunnymon3y]

I actually know a family like this.. and their mom is the ring leader

[@Flyingrabbit2222]

Hope you and Luna are okay. Keeping you folks in my thoughts.

[@PaigeSquared]

Hi, I'm calling to schedule a meeting with a member of the betrayal police force. I have a few decades worth of cases that need reviewed. 😅😂

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

Good god sounds depressing. There’s like so many factors involved in all this

[@jeanie5074]

Happy New Year 2025, Dr.Ramani❣️💖🦋🙏

[@winter-qd4yw]

Please stay safe with the current wildfires!!

[@rosiep7337]

Omg yes yes yes 100%!

[@kkryz]

Hope things are ok where you are ❤

[@heidirichards2919]

My narc ex actually told me “ you have two jobs… to make me look good and not behave like a twat “ 😂

[@einnockate]

What about narcissists that are so entitled and bad liars? They lie and when called on it like again. When I provide evidence I still get accused of lying. I'm talking about a property manager,/owner who fabricate violation notices and retaliate for over 3 years for reporting discrimination

[@Goodnesswithros]

Hope you are safe. Prayers to california 🙏

[@bobbies5554]

Is manipulation on control and chronic lies over mundane things narcissistic traits?

[@carolwright7503]

Awful when two are visiting with a third person, and they both believe they are better then the third person, and both make statements of put downs and at the same time treating the third person as a slave...no witnesses for the third person.

[@namedeleted5945]

The target on your back becomes bigger

[@veenarajee2958]

I can’t wait for Dr Ramani to share her thoughts on the very ‘lively’ Blake Lively vs Justin Baldoni feud because I can already imagine what she’d be saying but we’re likely going to have wait for a while until the legal battle is over.

[@Sophia.sareen]

Mine did this. Insulting me in front of his new friends in some new city.i understood. So I kept quiet. And 2 days later he calls and I tell him. "You believe you were insulting me. Am so sorry that you cannot understand that those people are ur new friends . They don't even know me. They way you belittled me. What do you think what opinion would you hold if I did this same to xyz in phone while u were present? He said that's the reason I love you. If u were like that. I would've not bothered to even talk. I said. Thank you. Exactly. Now that it's not me. But you who did that. I shouldn't be talking to you. And I ended it there forever and for good.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

Some are deep in sin they won’t ever know reality everyone’s obviously stressed out as f we all look like shit 😂

[@Guyomar]

I get it now, one betrayal is cool, we have to get to the point of repeated betrayals to be victims. Very weird victim/villain dichotomy being set up, where the "survivor" can do no wrong even when committing the very same actions used as evidence that someone is narcissistic, and the "villain" is victim-blamed when they have a natural human emotion to being betrayed.

[@dragonkingabashi9897]

This video has stirred up a major question about my past relationship. My last relationship ended badly and my therapist and friends have tried to convince me that she was narcissistic based on what little things they saw. I am not too sure because I have learned a lot more about them. Could they have narcissistic traits, I would say yes. But my question is could some people use the elements of narcissism as a defense mechanism. My ex did care about me seemingly or at least in the way she wanted to care. And despite her saying she didn't have empathy, I'm curious if she did have a tiny amount. But once again, I'm wondering it's possible for someone like her who had certain traumas to be so guarded that it makes the use narcissistic tactics (either intentionally or unintentionally) to protect themselves when they feel they are right in a matter.

[@BonnieJean4578]

The two narcissists I have dealt with recently, (family, not spouse) have said very unkind things to me and had unrealistic expectations of me. With both I have specifically pointed out why I do not want contact with them anymore. They both ignored totally the event I stated, and sent me Christmas wishes and said, "See, I am reaching out to you." Total craziness!

[@heathercarter2475]

Not scared. I've been raged at, tantrumed, whatever. Not impressed, don't care. I'm SO sick of them. They're gonna devalue and everything ANYWAY. So? Be mad. Oooooooh they got 'betrayed' oh you mean a taste of their own medicine? Aw. I've been treated like 💩 long enough, I'm tired, I'M that "volcano level" angry, I know way more than I did then and am still learning. Rip that pathetic excuse for an ego 'scaffold' down around their ankles and say 'come on'. Realized the past year my mother is probably covert, with the things i remember, and the way she's acting now. Angry/hurt doesn't even begin to describe the emotions I'm currently dealing with now. All my life telling me I'm cold, unfeeling, self-centered, no compassion, etc. Got to see just how much SHE embodies those things. I've never felt the way she said ever. I know every situation is different, and some people can only do what their circumstances allow. But sometimes i don't understand all the 'oooh don't make em mad narc rage ooooooh'..like..no..underneath it they are scared childish dumbasses. Smh I hate that ANY of us had to go through this.

[@GSR-oh3ng]

You should do a breakdown analysis on the show “monsters”

[@paulaismael6549]

My father. 😎 did it until he died.

[@kathryncothern3433]

Oh yes… this has happened to me with my now ex husband. My nanny from years ago saw it and my kids have witnessed it back then and even current days. I am all about “true colors” will eventually come out in anyone, narcissistic or not. I am all about being real and authentic which is why I am patient with these folks to finally blow their cover. They can blame all they want…while I don’t budge from my real self. ❤ They show their own selves on their own. Go figure…

[@m420-nd1if]

Dr. Hammer on Nailicisism ❤

[@WithAnEss]

When i called out the narcs gaslighting his daughter, then attempt to triangulate me. He was exposed. My life is 1000% safer, and happier without his neuroticism. My support system is built on a stable foundation of trust, reliance, and communication. 💜

[@Guyomar]

Did I just hear this "doctor" policing the way someone reacts after being betrayed? An "irritable depression"? As if that's an inconvenience? So it's irreparable damage if a "narcissist" cheats on you, but if you cheat on someone who is supposedly a narcissist, you were doing it for the right reasons, and they're the bad ones, yet again, if they're hurt by it and don't accept or believe your apology? If "it happens" because "people are human", why is betrayal by the partner labelled as narcissistic so terrible then? It happens, no? They're human too, or are they not? No one is forced to cheat, if you are staying in a relationship because you are getting financial or social benefits, the least you can do is not do something like that.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

Of course people are hurt wtf and eww come on people

[@MaryGonzales-o8z]

The Narcissist I was Married to took Benny Barco to the back of the Building and Scared him so he gave him my Home.I had a stroke and was in San Joaquin Valley Hospital. Benny Barco did wrong after. I paid for the Payment so I wouldn't lose my Home. Benny Barco did wrong with me. I paid the trustee so I wouldn't lose my Home. What can I do to get it back.

[@nadiaburq2286]

Dr ramini plz help me becoming a narcissistic abuse expert coach like you..

[@MicanAnne-p1t]

💜sleep

[@ericalbright7210]

Christine Albright "BRILLIANT VIDIO"💖!... "SPOT ON"💖!... "They thought he was Acting like a Big Bully"!... "& avised me to move"💖!... "THANK YOU"💖!... "+"!...

[@randymonroe1633]

KZbin Translation Scene Stargate (1994) / Stargate (1994) Activating the Portal MGM / America - Ventura Highway from their (1972) Album Homecoming ……… . Big ego danger?!!!

[@Jesse-q3l4e]

Smart girl

[@ErikHermanson-s2h]

Dr Ramni doesn't detect true vs false.

[@TheLove1Makes]

Thanks